My Depression Story | Luke Cutforth 

I love you dude :')

Very very proud of you friend

Saying someone can't be sad because other people have it worse is like saying they can't be happy because others have it better.

Props for the bravery in posting this. I personally appreciate your disclaimer about self-harming: "if you don't do this, please don't ever start, and if you do, please try and stop"

Strong video Luke, glad you got through the crap to get to the happy Luke everyone knows and loves today.

I self harmed with a blade from a pencil sharpener and today in a assembly I gave it to my friend and told him to put it in a bin and he looked at me blankly and said, well done

I haven't cut in 9months, hey the whole time I haven't cut someone's held a baby in their womb :)

I feel bad watching this cuz I was immensely distracted by how soft ur hair looked

When I self harmed the first 'person' I told was my dog, because I felt like she wouldn't judge me and I actually believe that pets can understand human emotions and can pick up when things aren't right. It helped me as I found it easier to tell my parents once I found out I could say it out loud. Things are ok now and one thing that helped me to over come it was your video for self harms and I have recommended it to other people because it really REALLY did help. Thank you, Luke. ;)

His eyes are so pretty. Idk of it was just me but I seen some pain in his eyes as he was telling his story. I'm glad everything worked out for you Luke. "Chin up"

Luke. I know you probably won't read this. But I just wanna say. We are all proud of you. And this vid saved my life. 24days ago I tried to OD. I told one person beforehand as I didn't want my little brothers too find my body so I needed her to tell my dad first. She said okay and walked away. Later on She sent me a link to this vid. Since then I have been watching this everyday. I still selfharm badly and I still think about suicide all the time. But it helps. It helps me get through the day. It helps me not feel so crap after my stepdad has punched me in the gut or someone at school has kicked me in the ribs or try put their hands up my top. I still get on with life and fake a smile until I'm on my own. But if I ever feel really bad again I just go through and watch all your vids. Like you are amazing. Thank you so much. For everything.

I had started self harming when I was 11, I had just moved to a new town quite far from where I grew up. I was made fun of for being light skinned, sounding weird and being fat and ugly. I stopped halfway through being being 14 but started again last year.. I still struggle and I am now struggling with anorexia, bulimia and binging. Stay strong everyone

I know this is a bit late but big well done for the bravery of being so open on here about depression i have depression i was diagnosed with emotional persunalerty disorder i know what is like this video made me cry but i love it THANK YOU LUKE

Talked to my bestfriend about 2 bullies that was mean and hitting me and making me very sad and the next day i come to school i see one of the bullies with a broken arm and the other one with a snappes shoulder i looked at my friend and he was just smiling akwardly at me :| Don't ask

I self harmed last year and i almost took my life when i was in grade 7 and also 2014. I was losing so many friends and they turned into fake friends talking behind my back and blackmailing me😔 but im all better now and im not depressed anymore because of youtube and alot of positive people❤️

This video still helps me to this day. Thank you Luke.

My best friend suffers from depression, anxiety, and also self harms. She tells me that having me in her life has helped her so much, and she never wants me go. Every day I check her wrists for new cuts, and it's only recently that those cuts have turned to scars. I'm so proud of her, and I'm proud of you, Luke for sharing this story that literally brought me to tears.

Ive had depression, my bestest friend has been bashed and everything majourly bullied with huge depression, never smiled. Ive made him smile, im starting to get him to finally stop cutting all together and he laughs alot of the time now, he even says school is fun. Best. Feeling. Ever.

I started cutting... It doesn't hurt at all but then I saw scars on other people and now I'm terrified of knifes because I always attempted

I had a friend. Her name was Anna. She was bullied, and tumbled into depression. I was the only one who knew, but I regret not saying anything. She told me not to and I followed her wishes. She cut her wrists. She started doing it when she was 13 and carried on. She did it every now and then, which eventually turned to weekly, daily. She was bullied for a year, eventually... she suicided. The day Luke uploaded this it was the first anniversary of life without Anna. I wish I could've showed her this.

I can't stop. It's the only release from the pain in life.

Today in school I was actually thinking of making one of these videos for bullying and then I came and watched this and cried. I am so proud of you Luke for uploading this!x

Im crying

I've not cut in about 3 years, and my life goal is to help as much as I can to put a stop to people cutting.

I couldn't help but cry at this because i know exactly how it feels, the lenghts you go to when you're not in a happy place can be so awful but i have to say that please god anyone who feels this way please tell someone, we're all so special in our own way and all deserve to be happy! Hats off to you Luke this was so brave and touching xxx

Luke, Im sorry there are immature people who did not listen and decided to make a joke out of this. You are braver than so many people who are so scared to come out and share their stories. So thank you so much. :)

you, patty walter, bry bry, dan and phil, Emma blackary help me

5 months clean today from self harm and it's cause of my mum. If you think your parents or someone close to you could help you stop then please please ask them for help. It helps so much more than you think it will.

I really don't know what to say.You are just such a nice person and I hope you never feel that way again!

You are very brave to admit all of this, and I have a lot of respect for you. It's never easy getting this kind of stuff off of your chest, but I'm glad you're not depressed anymore. :)

When luke says "get rid of anything thats making you sad" It works. I rid of it for one week and felt almost instant (no fucking joke) freeness and stress free. I'm now alone a lot and grades are higher and stress is lower! Love you all. Start strong

luke, oh the relates, i do understand, i lost my friends coz of depression. i turned to harm and substances as well!! i had close mates that tried to help. (this is ages 9-16) im kept saying ill be dead by 16. im 7 months into 16 and my boyfriend is freaking amazing!! im so inspired by you and im so thankful you are still around. i dont feel sorry for you, i just understand harm, depression and the whole idea of being trapped. im so much better than i was 5 months ago, a new years goal was: "no substances that could potentially harm me" and ive stuck to that. im doing so well.. and anyone out there going through a rough time, i encourage you to speak up. Everyone is going to give you shit. ignore them, they aren't worth it. but as you said Luke, have someone there you can trust. its not easy to find, but they exist.

YOU MADE ME CRY, DAMN IT! You've helped me through a lot Luke, the first time I stopped self harming was because of seeing one of your videos. To see that the start of your depression was pretty much the exact same as what happened to me (but you were 2 years older) really helps prove to me that I will be fine someday. The only difference is when you told your parents things got better. When my parents found out it felt like they were disappointed in me and everything got worse. I was still self harming but I was suicidal too. Heck, I still am. I want help but after what happened with my parents I don't know where to get help. Thank you for helping me through some of the toughest times in my life, Luke, I owe you so much xx

I stopped self harming 2 weeks ago and I feel so great my friends cheer me up I'm 13 BTW I still get bullied by several people but I just now build up a barrier of all the bad things they say to me . fat gay idiot tramp ect and it goes straight through my head and I've never been happier in my life stay strong ;-) 

Im really grateful for this video. I've fallen out with many close friends over the past few years and everyone just says its part of 'girls growing up'. Which it isn't. I've realised recently that even though I'm always smiling on the outside I never am on the inside. As soon as I get close to someone they always find something wrong with me and push me away and no matter what you say to yourself, you never get over it. You can never ignore them. Thank you so much for this video, it's helped me realise that this will all be over soon 😀

"I want you to know it's going to be okay." I think that's the but that made me cry the most, thank you so much luke.

"... I don't know how to be happy anymore." Hit the nail right on the head. That is word for word exactly how I feel at the moment. The end of the video (when you said it would be okay) made me smile though, which is something I never do anymore. Thank you for sharing your story with us :)

Hi Luke, I can't hide the fact that I'm silently crying on the other side of the screen. I have suffered from depression and self harm too and I got through it all by myself. I didn't have anyone help me and it was very hard, and I think it's very brave of you to talk about your own story like that and try to possibly help other people get through it too. I am very proud of you, and for everyone who still suffer from depression and or self harm, hang it there. It gets better. Luke and I and many other people are proofs that it does get better.

Luke, we all fucking love you no matter fucking what.

Luke, we are a few people here in Sweden that have discussed this subject alot. After discussing it some more and seeing your videos and others that you took part of, we have decided to try and start up a project of our own. I belive that we together can get stronger making this video shows your strength. And it makes me proud that people like you take this step and show people the truth. You just grew so much in my view. Thank you once again.

Luke, I'm so sorry that you had to go through that bullying. I was bullied but I eventually started standing up for myself and the bullies kind of faded out of my life luckily. I just don't understand how people can sink so low. It makes me feel bad for humanity that people enjoy hurting others...

I have been depressed {Not diagnosed} for the past year, but I have recently [About after New Years] met my soul mate. Not sexually, we have only cuddled and almost kissed [Go me!]... I have seen many videos like this, but like you, I have overcame the worst part. Thank you, and I hope all of us depressed people will overcome our shitty feeling emotions. Help and Hope are on the way.

I needed to hear that someone else who others think is in a privileged position (fairly stable family, no abuse, roof over my head, food on the table, etc.) was depressed. I wish that more people would understand that depression isn't situational. You can wake up one day and decide to change it, but it doesn't happen overnight like everyone thinks. It's not a deliberate choice to be unhappy, because if I could've flipped a switch and made my depression go away, I would have. Drugs don't help either like everyone thinks. They made me more of a wreck than I already was.

My friend, she cut her wrist to shreds the other day, and I'm not so sure how to react, I mean, I took her somewhere private and told her I'd always be here for her, and that I wouldn't walk away from our friendship because of this, and I hugged her and we cried, but I still feel like I'm not doing everything I should be, like she seems happy, and I know she wouldn't like to be constantly asked, but I'm afraid if I don't ask she'll think I don't care. I'm not sure what I should do.

very inspiring and close to my heart....i am a long term sufferer of depression and for the last year i have just shut out all my friends and family and stayed all alone in my flat playing computer games. i then discovered you and Emma blackery on RU-vid and your videos made me laugh and feel somewhat normal for 10 minutes. think its about time i put the xbox pad down and started breaking down the walls i created almost 15 yrs ago (im 29) thank you luke your a top dude

I'm sitting here with an infected looking cut in my arm and this video has really helped me feel a little better about myself. thanks luke x

It's hard to let go when you feel you're being an inconvenience. I smile so everyone is happy. I can't remember what happy is.

Luke, I love you and you are my inspiration, I used to have very high anxiety levels, I had no one to turn to, it wasn't up to the levels of depression or self harming, thank god. Again, I love you very much. I was bullied because I was dyslexic, I struggle at school and I hated going, but this video and so many others, has showed that I am not stupid, that's bullshit, I see that now. I am getting ready for my GCSEs and im not worried. So once again, Luke, thank you and I love you very very much. xx

I was getting really sad and then I looked at his laptop wallpaper.

Thank you. I seriously mean it thank you so much... Your videos have helped me so much through my depression and I'm still struggling to be happy and stop self harming. It's been 3 months the 1st day of May since I stopped cutting. I really mean it Luke thank you so so much. You don't know how much your videos make me smile laugh and help me through all the shit I am feeling. You're amazing my role model thank you... So so much.

When you said "it's going to be okay"... I believed it. This made me feel so much better. I've been clean of self harm for awhile now but I've wanted to start again; but this changed the way I think about it.

just gone 2 months clear from self harm, still get the urge to do it but im getting slowly better. Still have the depresson, and still want to self harm but ive done it, so i believe any of you reading can do it :) im here to talk

People think self harming is just making yourself bleed yet it comes in so many forms. I tried cutting my wrists once, it didn't give me any satisfaction. I've also burnt myself in the shower, that didn't satisfy me either. But food has, for the past 10 years I've found comfort in food. A year ago I was diagnosed with a few I guess you could say mental health problems: compulsive overeating disorder, low self esteem, anxiety, bi-polar and mild suicidal depression. I can't seem to let go of my past of bullying, sexual assault and mental abuse from ex boyfriends. It's haunting me and slowly killing me, if it wasn't for my baby nephew I wouldn't be here today. The day before I was going to kill myself my sister told me she was pregnant, I've never been so happy and I couldn't go through with it. I sort of regret it now, but knowing i would have died and this tiny little life would only have stories of me I couldn't. Till this day my parents and family don't know exactly what I've gone through, they know I suffer with depression, but not the rest, not why I am the way I am and I don't have the guts to tell them, I'm too ashamed. I'm okay with speaking about it, because I'm more confident people I don't know, don't know me will be more understanding and won't judge me. I'm sorry this is so long, I just needed to let my story be heard. Please don't be scared to message me if you have any issues or need someone to talk to. I'm happy to help anyone through this, no deserves to feel the way I feel. I love you for this video Luke, well done for getting through it xox

In tears right now. Tonight was my suicide date and tbh I don't feel like I need to anymore,I've had severe depression for a year and been unhappy for afew more years,and recently started self harming worse than before. I've talked to my friends but they both turned on me and told everyone it was fake and that I didn't acctualy have depression or eating disorders and people think I'm a freak now but you turned out an amazing person and your inspiration so I want to be like you Luke :) x

This actually made me cry. I'm still crying now, I can relate to part of it like the bullying and the moving away but I never self harmed. And the thing that made me depressed was that my mum would say she hated me and I should die she even tried to put me up for adoption, but when I was 10 I moved in to live with my dad and step mum and I'm happy now. I even got a boyfriend and have had him for two years and I love him.

this made my day, even though there isn't much of it left. whenever i get depressed for more than a few days it feels as if the world is crumbling, or that the air is dirty, or it's too hot, or too cold, ir to dry, or too humid. and i feel like no one gives a damn. but you made my day Luke, and that's why the internet is beautiful.

I'm literally heartless but this made me cry.

This is really inspiring! I know how hard it is to deal with depression and how hard it is to get it out of it, or ever see the light at the end of the tunnel, or to even speak about it. I'm so proud of you. You make people laugh on a daily basis and just even from this 7:45 video, you have showed people that it'll be okay and to get out of it. I really hope some people take this advice in hope to get better and speak about their problems. I know it takes years, trust me...it took me four years to even come to terms with the fact that I had depression. So proud of you Luke!:) keep doing what you're doing!x

I've always wanted to be a musician, so playing my guitar always helped me get over difficult times- ive been bullied from when i was little due to autism and right from year 7 I've dealt with anxiety, anorexia and cutting. People were freaked out by how weird i looked being so thin and having scars so i didnt have friends either. Earlier this year a few guys found out about all that and thought it was all attention seeking, even my love for music. But I know now, even though I've done more bad things and still struggle, that all these mean people are just wastes of the worlds natural resources... This video was one of the things that helped me realise that, so... Thanks :')

I feel like I am the only one (14 yrs. old) who isn't depressed.

I relate quite a lot to this. I used to drink excessively as a form of escapism, as well as harm. It's videos like this that remind me that everyone is going through hardships, and that we should be equally grateful for our lives.

Thank you Luke for sharing that. It's very hard to tell people your depression story, I've find it hard myself. I've been watching your videos for years and it has helped me through my time of need. You made me laugh and smile when all I wanted to do was cry but the tears didn't want to come out. And, thank you for sharing your story and thank you for helping me :)

Every Time i try to tell my parents that i selfharm and that i feel depressed they tell me im look for attention and that im perfectly happy

My sister has depression, she's had it for 3 years, and I don't know what it's like but just from witnessing it, I was scared. My sister was self harming trying to kill herself and my parents divorced, not really helping and it hurt to see my sister in such despair. She is older than me by 6 years (18 now), and now she a little better. I remember when I first saw her self harm marks, I was at a family dinner and she couldn't cover up the scars because she had a new tattoo for her 18th birthday, and I saw her arm covered in thin lines... it was scary, but I looked away and got over it. She's getting better, I hope.

How can some of you come and watch this, then comment something terrible? He literally put his heart and soul into this video, then you come and call him unmentionable names! If you watch his other videos and are fine with them, you best be fucking fine with this one.

This is an amazing example of how life does get loads and loads better, you just gotta try and make it better yourself... I love you Luke.

Really brave of you to share your experiences, for some people depression will no simply go away, as for some people their depression is caused by a chemical imbalance and they will need to see their Doctor and will need medication, there is no reason to feel embarrassed about this, it's no different than someone who is diabetic and them needing insulin. For people with that type of depression, the medication really helps to make the depression life and bring back the motivation, and enjoyment back into your life.

I cried at this, I know the feeling you went through luke and im proud of you

I'm crying :'3 I think I need a hug :'3

i'll stop self harming for you

This is the first time I've watched any of your videos and I honestly can say that this is what I needed to hear. That someone else went through what I'm gong through. Thank you!

this is my favourite video on the whole of youtube, and it's so amazing to see someone who has struggled with this illness, which i know can be so overwhelming and terrifying and generally life-destroying, come out the other side as an incredible person. i don't know, i just gives me hope, so thanks luke

I can relate to quite a lot of this, it's kind of sad thinking about how people can be so unhappy that it leads to things like self-harm but at the same time just that you were willing to share your story and the fact I can relate has made me feel so much better. Thankyou, Luke!

i don't have anyone to talk to.

Oh my god this nearly made me cry in several parts. You are so brave for posting this, Luke. We are all very proud of you, both for having the courage to talk about this and for getting through it okay. You are so inspirational.

I love you and thank you so much for existing

Im slightly speechless, I wasn't sure what to expect from this video but I am so thankful you shared this, Luke you'll do more good then you'll ever know you deserve all the happiness you have and the happiness that will come xX

Shed a few tears watching this..ik exactly how you felt..

I'm actually crying right now thank you so much for posting this ❤️ This helps me in so many ways

luke this has got me streaming with tears right now. totally just having a massive stalk to cheer myself up and I came across this one. I've been 2 days clean of self harm.. I can relate to so much of what you were saying and it's just got me so emotional :(

I just want to give you a giant hug. You're such a strong person.

I did something like this in front of my church yesterday. I felt so much better.

I tried to tell my mom I was depressed and suicidal but she couldn't face the fact that I was and believes I was just over reacting. My mom is not me she can't say if I like something or if I am something. Only I can but she doesn't understand that. On another point I might as well tell you my story. I new I was suicidal and depressed since 3rd grade. Since I can remember I was bullied and beat up every day by my brother. And I'm some cases I would say to myself "if I wasn't here right now this would happen. I wish I was dead." That started in first grade. I also don't have much self confidence because my dad would yell at me and raise his voice at me and being young, I would run, hide, and cry. In 3rd grade at the end of the school year a girl called me out in front of the glass because our teacher was strict about school snacks. The girl said something like this, "emily has blah blah blah (i don't remember what I had) and you should take it away because it has sugar in it" and I cried, in front of everyone. Later that year I was bullied by a boy in my 3rd grade class who was also on my bus which meant I didn't go away so easily. In 5th grade there was a girl in my class that was just plain mean. One day during lunch (we had to sit with our class) I was trying to get my friend's attention so I called her name multiple times. The mean girl was a couple girls away and she went over to me and yelled, " you are the most retarded person I have ever met other than _____ (one of my friends) and you are so annoying... Blah blah blah..." And she went on with that. I started crying at that point and a lunch lady came over to me and asked me what was wrong. I didn't answer. During me crying at lunch the mean girl realized what she just did and went over to me and goes don't tell Mrs. Teacher (not saying names) about this. The crying carried on after lunch, during reading time, where the teacher would read a book to the class. My teacher also asked me what was wrong, I again said nothing. In 6th grade it got better and I had her in only 1 of my classes that lasted for a month and I never talked to her during the class. Here I am starting 7th grade in a week or so feeling better than ever. During 6th grade I gained confidence and got into a school play. I loved it and am going to do lots more because it makes me happy when I'm not always the happiest. Luke, if you read this, thank you because this video helped me. I've been smiling more and more every day.

This video was the most relate able thing I've ever watched or heard. Every detail I can completely relate to, and it honestly made me cry that you've achieved so much in your life. Congratulations man, honestly

Luke, all I can say right now is thank you so so so much. I am struggling at the moment and people like you help. I can't recall how many times I have wished I was never born but when I can come home and sit and watch youtube videos for a couple of hours I start to feel better. When you said at the end of the video it's going to be okay I believed you and you are the first perspn I have believe in a long time. So again may I say thank you and please, please keep making videos and I hope to one day meet you and thank you in person.

"I want you to know that it's going to be okay." [Starts balling my eyes out] I hope it will be. c:

I have watched this hundreds of times (as well as many of your other videos) constantly in times where I'm in a shitty mood, and all I really can say is: you're an amazing person, and I'm so happy to have met you recently multiple times this past vidcon. I love you

You have just made my life so much better, you have made me realise so much. Thank you so much Luke

One thing that I disagree with that people say is that you should love yourself. No. God no. If you love yourself, then before you know it, your life WILL tumble down. Am I saying that you should harm yourself or hate yourself either? No. Fuck no. Accept yourself. Know what makes you happy and do that.

LUKE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OH MY GOD I'M CRYING SO MUCH

This legitimately made me cry. I love you so much Luke.

most of this video describes me. luke im so glade that you battled depression and won your war against it im so proud of you

This is brave Luke, talking about personal experiences such as this.

somehow this made me cry. thank you!

This has got to be my favourite video of yours. I really liked the end part. Thankyou Luke for sharing

I watch this every time I get sad for a long period of time (more than a day) and it makes me feel better by the time your message comes through at the end.

This was such a brave video to make Luke, and it came just at the right time. Seriously, thanks.

I can't tell my parents. It's come up before (ages ago, before I got myself into this mess) and they just told me 'it's a normal part of teenage life. You get over it.' And it doesn't feel normal. It's not a normal part of life. Maybe it's normal to be a bit confused about your place in the world or whatever but what i feel isn't. I feel like I need to hurt myself to make myself feel okay, like I really exist, and sometimes to zone out of my mind... I am trying to stop but it's only been a day since I last did it and IT'S SO FUCKING HARD I CAN'T EVEN! I don't know what to do when i'm thinking too much any more. I've been to a therapist before and that makes me feel alone and as if I have no secrets... I don't know what to do with myself.

I watched you through my years growing up but for the last year I dropped out. I came back to see what you were up too and love how you are still creating. This was a video that helped me a lot when I was younger and going through a dark time. You're one of the only 'Real' youtubers I have followed and the message you always send to your viewers is always powerful. Keep doing you man and I hope you have a great 2019. I will 100% be back to keep up with everything you do.

Luke, I watched this video and started sobbing. I'm so proud of you for getting over this and achieving happiness, you're such an inspiration x