My Husband’s on His Fourth Affair (Is It Over?) 

She said it was the fourth in the marriage. I wonder how many he had while they were dating/engaged?

correct...took the words right out of my mouth...would not be shocked if there are far more...usually are!

​​@@MorpheusNews she literally said she stayed because of the children but yeah, let's make stuff up. Incels, man...🤡

@@MorpheusNewsabsolutely Not, if you stay with some one like this there are many factors like financial, starting all over as a single parent, Not being able to afford housing on your own and mental health issues. Saying she enjoys the abuse is disgusted, is that what you say about women who have been Sexually abused? That they enjoyed it. You’re sick

​@@elettramia6380Sorry. You are wrong

Thanks for sharing

Bingo

no joke...that's what women like this don't seem to grasp. if you keep letting them off the hook with no consequences, there's no incentive for them to address the behavior. how awful it must be to have such poor self-respect.

@@jcldctt he is absolutely wrong. I never said he was not in the wrong. I said why would he stop she is clearly putting up with it and yes that is 100% her fault!

@@jcldctt and if somebody punches you in the face 4 times yes that's still your fault

True.

And endangers her life with STDs

@@SarahR2D2 And her future children’s lives

How are you able to make this determination? Do you know either of the parties personally?

@@LewisBeckman Are you her disgruntled ex? Get a life.

A woman who allows this is not a strong woman, poor kids to have a couple loser parents

Hi Mary! We ladies love 💕 you! Men's may hurt us but through it all we will get smarter and stronger 💪 the older we get the better we will become. We or sweet and to good for men's that we marry and then sleep with other women's. I never been married and I see so many marry couples cheating o there partner. God has to heal a person before they take that big step in marriage .That is why he want us to wait and let him work on us. But some people's got to have it now and that is when the problems come. God can take a long time and some people's can't wait.. we can get the wrong mate but if we take our time to heal then God will work on the two . God bless you Mary. Hope you let God in your relationship. Sometime I just watch men's more closely since I have been hurt so many times by them. They will come do prepare your self and stand back and watch how they treat you around other women's. Do not say a word just play it cool and watch them. After you study them for a long time you will soon find out if they just want sex from you. And a lot of them will 💔 your heart in pieces and go the next one after they get what they want.They have a strong influence over some women's and we think they care when they don't . They are heart breakers and am being careful for now on when they come. No sexs so bye bye.Gone to the next one hope she is ready to fight and not let them use you. Wake up ladies they or coming . Are y'all ready. Save your body for marriage.

Unfortunately at this point she may be trauma bonded

People say..."just leave him"....but extreme poverty also takes its toll. Really no perfect answer.

He will pack his bags and leave.

O heLL No !! HE can pack HIS bags and leave...why should she uproot herself and the kids ? He's the one that chose to break vows, he can hit the road (and kick rocks too )

Yeah women back in the day women just stuck thru the abuse which ruined thier health and made them die early

I am so sorry you went through that.

@@n.t.495 Thank you ...I appreciate your kindness.

@@YouShineHoneyBear Thank you. You're so kind.

wow...this is what everyone needs to read!!! i'm so sorry.. i grew up in a very toxic home as well.

She needs to leave the relationship. Not the house.

Hahahaha bitter

Unfortunately she would have to get a court order to do that, which requires proof that she or the children are in danger. She needs to move out for her own safety and file for divorce. It will be dangerous for her because cheaters feel entitled to a harem and will rage if he sees that she’s leaving for good.

Don't book him a motel just chuck hid stuff out door change locks .

I like how he suggested to move his stuff to the neighbor he’s cheating on her with’s lawn. Change the locks.

There's nowhere to leave to. Who is knocking themselves over to get an emotionally damaged aging female with baggage?

@@BossItUp911 She doesnt need anyone to leave for, but she sure as hell doesn't need to stay to have her self respect trashed every time he lays down with someone else

@Amanda Ross "making a necessity a virtue"

A good man is a good man. Ageing men have histories and life lived too...baggage, divorces, and children from prior relationships. She'll be fine. The right person will accept her and love her.

@@BossItUp911 u lame lil bro

Right exactly!!

and as a kid who lived in a broken home, i 1000% agree.

While I have plenty of issues w/ Phil; I wholeheartedly agree w/ him on this one!!

@@hansonallie same here he trash but some things he saying make sense

​@poelomokgotho8127 agreed! The other gem he always used is "the greatest predictor of future behavior is past relevant choices."

Haye to say it, but if your Dad was decent to you, your mom made the right choice.

@@GUITARTIME2024 i’m not sure you have the authority to say that.

Congrats on being an independent woman. I hope you are able to find the love you deserve. 💜

@@GUITARTIME2024 I would disagree, because a miserable marriage scars the kids too. I have made bad relationship choices because my folks didn't show what a healthy relationship looked like.

@@GUITARTIME2024 that's a pretty low bar. Treating your kids decently is an expectation, it doesn't give you a pass to cheat and disrespect your spouse.

How did you get out?

The exception doesn’t make the rule

@@MrKrushgutz Agreed, but I don't see how this caller can continue with a husband who clearly doesn't respect his own children enough not to cheat on his wife.

​@@MrKrushgutzstudies consistently prove that children whose parents divorce work out better that those that grow up in a toxic but in tact household.

👏👏👏...yes sir!

Exactly

So true

I know it's illegal but a cast iron skillet to the head would be a fair repercussion.

Yeah....and he was doing it because he was greedy..

It’s has helped me immensely too! ❤

That's good

If therapists told you what they really thought, they wouldn’t have a job.

​@@skyfall1481 exactly...lol

​@@skyfall1481That's why they charge $200 an hour. They have a financial incentive to get you to keep coming back.

correct!!! 90+% of the time they don't change...especially if they are a repeat offender. we had a good friend with a spouse like this...she stayed through him cheating numerous times and even trying to leave her...he's still doing it and has to reason to stop.

Narcissists want the best of both worlds mom at home to cook clean side piece for fun and expect wife and girlfriend to tolerate it lie lie lie

Until lawyers get involved

Because Cluster B’s enjoy using people and hurting them. They don’t feel empathy or guilt like normal people.

Which is totally understandable for anyone who’d rather their family stay together. Duh. She can go and regain her sense of self, the strength in her that attracted a guy like this, who doesn’t have any of his own - Or she can stay and adjust her expectations. If she stays to keep her kids in an intact family unit, we get that. Better to fund her own kids’ futures than the lawyers’ kids’ college tuition. We get that. Will he provide that? Can he provide for these kids? Is he both willing and capable? Is he doing that? Ok then, she needs to expect that he do this girl and that girl and protect herself. Is she willing to wear condoms and get tested every time she has sex with her husband? Is she willing to keep the “love and honor” part out of the vows? Can she stand 18 more years of his foolishness? Of this humiliation and degradation? If not, the choice is hers. This louse has shown her who he is - and isn’t willing to be for her. Is she willing to take care of herself and her family in ways he either can’t or won’t? Because either way, he’s incapable or he’s unwilling but either way her needs of safety will not be met in this relationship. And that will cause patterns of instability and insanity for her kids. She can rely on that as a fact. Because they’re not being. Ever. At all. And especially with kids on the mix you gotta hold a man to a higher standard. You gotta. Your kids deserve that stability and need that - require it even if you don’t think you do. Every momma needs that for her kids at least. She knows. This is insanity - doing the same thing expecting different results. Nope. Good luck with that destructive pattern of instability and crazy-making. Is the hell out there worse than the one you’re already living? I dunno but only one way to find out of it could be better. I hope it can be either way for you and those kids. I pray that for you. I really do. I ask the Lord now to help guide you with the Wisdom Elijah and Elisha, with grace, compassion, and love - especially for yourself, Momma. Stop bending over backwards and contorting yourself for somebody not even willing to give you the truth. He’s not with it. He’ll only change when you do. Go forward, not back. Best of luck to you.

Shes alone now

I saw that growing up. Cheaters and their spouses, the fallout of affairs, divorce that should have happened but never did, and on the flip side, serial monogamy. But, no one ever saw their behavior as dysfunctional.

You don't think she's tried that? She just needs to go.

@@TheAgentmigs what I meant is you can’t “try” an ultimatum. You have to follow through with the threat. Technically it’s not an ultimatum if you don’t. 😂

She should track him with that app and serve the papers at the other woman's house while he is there 😆😆

The time for ultimatums has passed. She just needs to make her peace with her decision, and then pull the trigger.

Exactly.

It takes first hand experience to grasp understanding.

@@livefree7366 ... I've had "first hand experience" and when I found out I kicked his cheating *ss to the curb.

Children

Amen. Amen. Amen.

I’m glad you got out of that and I pray that anyone in that situation can also make it out and heal

He was pretty direct on this! Kind of makes me laugh when his head hits the desk though.

Exactly. It is laziness. It is about comfort.

@@ineedhoez It isn't laziness for everyone. I went through this and chose to leave and be a single Mom of one child. I had a college degree and had been a public school teacher before having my son. At the time of my divorce every school system was laying off teachers or only hiring ones with multiple certification areas. I had to go back to school to get an additional certification while I was working and being a single Mom. I was terrified that I would not be able to get a good enough job to support myself (and pay my huge attorney's fees) for quite some time, at least not geographically close enough to my ex. If I wanted to relocate so far away for a job it that might have set off a custody battle. I really didn't want to be seen by my child as being the parent who forced his father out of the picture. This does happen where the kids begin to romanticize to other/missing parent since they don't live with them- the kids often do not get to see their bad side. Then they blame their custodial parent for the alienation. And I never really liked being a teacher at least in the public schools. I stayed in my teaching job for 7 years to allow my ex to go to law school and then channel a large portion of his earnings into building his practice, buying a building, buying computers, hiring paralegals etc.

He did you a favor. You should thank him for turning on the lights

Bravo! The right decision.

Don't be afraid to be on your own with your children, it will be hard but you will be at peace and your children will always love you, women go through this every day and come out of it stronger, its better to be on your own than to live with a man and be just as lonely and miserable ❤

@@debsday5445 oh wow, I just looked back on this post from a year ago. So much has changed and for the better. I started working full time again, focused on myself and kids, set boundaries regarding what I will tolerate and became stronger. He has since apologized for the pain he caused, he picked up extra work to cover all of the bills so that I can use my money towards bettering the home, scheduling fun things for myself and kids and have a savings. We communicate better with each other now, I feel more secure, I “leveled up” my looks- not to attract others but to feel better about myself (new hair do, wardrobe upgrades, lost 38 pounds). I respect myself more and he respects me more. If he didn’t respect me more, it wouldn’t matter because what I went through was supposed to propel me to the next level. Most importantly, our kids are and can tell we’re getting along much better.

Definitely sounds like gaslighting

no, after the first. cheaters will always cheat

My aunt cheated 10 yrs into their marriage. They stayed married, slept in different beds for 2 years, stayed together, fought for a couple years after that, then worked it out, & now they've been married 40 years & couldn't be happier. Most people will continue to cheat, but not all. Some realize how evil it is,& don't want to be that, & stick to their commitments.

It's like the "denial" stage of grief. It can be difficult to accept that the wonderful person you thought you married is dead -- maybe they never even existed -- and nothing you do can change the situation.

One chance. If i can control myself and someone is flirting with me or i start to think about someone else while in a relationship i take steps to move away from that person, my partner should be able to do that. If they can't then they aren't for me.

Never give 1. Ever.

Monogamy is the social norm.

ya its a freaky thing, i have always been a man that doesn't put up with bs, but when i was 20 a girl friend of 1.5 years flipped a script and through me off so much. I ended up studying human psychology (took classes along with my degree) and learned about narcissism as well. I am now 34 and been narcissist free since. Once you see how they are and realize what gas lighting is, its hard for anyone else to try it on you bc you will see through the bs. Sure people can mask their behavior for a bit, but their will always be a time where their mask slips.

im a week into finding dr john it's a excellent show

She needs a good lawyer