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Be goal orientated and communicate to fulfill ONLY your objective. They don't care what you want, ONLY their objective. The narcissist has only a superior vertical power structure. BE QUIET, LOW CONTACT/NO CONTACT. DO NOT OFFER THEM YOUR WORDS OR OPINION OR THE TRUTH (STOP, but do not lie. Worship God only.)
That's the only solution. I learned the hard way with my husbands exrteme narc half brother and his mentally disturbed wife. They were both narcs and if they got tired of pushing each other around and humiliating each other they would turn to me. I pray they never find peace in this life and another life.
@@babdullah5025 2 narcissist simply can't date each other. Either one of them is being controlled by the other or they have some other mental disorder, for ex. psychopath/sociopath. A narcissist needs constant attention and ego stroking, and they want to put other's down.
Try to view that time as a little vacation from their crap. Also - if they're giving you the silent treatment, give it right back. Don't continue to try to make contact when they're ignoring you.
Truth. The less the better when communicating with a narcissist. Use few words with short and simple replies. Try to keep your contact with the narc. straight forward with generic replies, such as conversing and answering their questions with the same identical replies and answers. Same answers and/or reply. Try to avoid long conversations as they will use this format to try and bait you. To pull you into their drama and chaos. Best practice is to limit your conversations. Speak to them in a no emotion monotone voice. I referr to this as talking like a robot. Try to avoid any elevation in your voice. Short, simple, and straight to the point. Use text as much as you can. If you can respond later not immediately.
Safest possible solution is to “do not speak”, if that is possible for you. I sincerely hope you all find a way to free yourselves. 6 years on and I left every one of our mutual friends in my old life to be free. It’s hard but worth it! Good luck
😏 best thing I ever told my ex was in reply to his outrage that I didn't care about him. I said, yes, you're right! In fact, I'm completely indifferent. It was the worst thing he could have ever heard.
unfortunately, I HAVE to live with my 80 yr old narc mom, I think I say 12 words a day to her, its hard to live with her but it is so nice to have ppl like you, thx
i have a toxic narcissist for a landlady, reducing (as i sometimes cannot 100 % stop) contact n limiting replies to a minimum, as well as NEVER replying or reacing to passive-aggressive or derogatory remarks or has helped me soooo much....
THIS VIDEO NAILS IT!!! I am an empath. (Narcissist bait) Do what Richard says yall and KEEP your power and LIFE! He speaks truth!!! Thank you Richard! God bless you sir!!💯❤🍀
Yeah the use of ‘word salad’ is a massive thing by narcissists. My ex hates it when I just reply ‘ok’ to things. The constant barrage of messages, texts about useless shit about my son, voice messages from him which have obviously been forced on him by her, the stupid questions and what I’m supposed to do with him whilst she is away (she’s in Benidorm at the moment) I try to stick to just speaking about our son but she always turns shit round, ‘I still love you’ F*** off
...I live with my NM and haven't said a single word now for 2.5 weeks (...I've learned the power of silence!!!) ...it's fascinating to watching the mimicking continue through this though.
Thank you Richard. I am still working on stopping communication. As he doesn't respond to my videos, texts..., I have given him until 14th July to respond to my communications. I know he is unfaithful, controlling and insincere. I have told him that I cannot continue to be his 'supply'. As it is bad for me. At midnight on 14.7.23, I will remove him from my phone. Yes, I am firm in this decision. My horizon will be directed on good, clean authentiue people. It is time I directed my love towards myself. He doesn't belong in my phone anymore. BTW, he considers that I am the narcissist 😂.
They talk to everyone all day but when it time to talk to me his girlfriend he says I’m boring or I don’t talk I always have to have a story or something to say.. so I have to speak about something but yes I’m learning so much now it’s hard but I’m learning the game
don't learn the game..just leave the no relationship no connection and be yourself and never stop being yourself and a genuine person and people will be warming and warm with you....if he ain't warm welcoming you it's just fake
Oh I have so many of those essays. Not about how horrible I am but how I've figured him ALL WRONG and everyone else agrees he's a great person so why can't I just get on board with that? Pfffffffft
No fuel, no contact. Works like a charm, and we have to ask ourselves seriously if we respond without clear reason. That is something we can write on ourselves as codependency.
I feel like I need this tattooing on the inside of my eyelids.. how many times do I have to hear this and remind myself of it before I actually end up doing it instead of trying to be ‘friendly’ whatever the fuck that is…
Anytime you stop telling the truth your gaslighting the other person because you literally admitted your unwilling to face reality of the situation 😂😂😂😂
BEST ADVICE I've ever heard from RG was- You are NOT obligated to communicate SINCERELY with the chronically INsincere. That 1 piece of advice Totally changed the way I have conversations or disagreements with toxic ppl.
I like this. I try and talk and he ignores me or will say pardon over and over but I feel like I need to sit there and listen to his rambling when he doesn't even listen to me. I need to try and just be like ya I'm busy right now and walk away😂
They hate silence when they're not in control of it. They have no problem going silent on you to punish you but it ends up not being a punishment. It morphs into a paradise noticeably free of a sadistic tormentor. It's in this silence you find your peace again, regain your sanity and realize you never want to go back to a narcissist's hell ever again. ✝️🙌🙏
The day you finally say “enough” and decide you have given up being emotionally abused with that menacing silence, the sun starts to come out in your life and peace surrounds you. You are eased into the next phase of taking back your dignity. You stop trying to love them, and start loving yourself instead.
All I have to do is sit there and not speak with a flat expression. He will create an entire plot that I’m behind his destruction and that I’m doing ALL these things on purpose! I don’t even have to respond, only sit there and look on in amazement at his reactions, the way he works himself up while blaming me for all sorts of things only because I’m silent. It REALLY does show you who they truly are!
Get out of that relationship girl if you can...when your silent they start plotting it ends in an argument that somehow you will have started and you'll end up feeling guilty for...don't waste your time on it..get out
I must not be dealing with a narcissist. I believe I'm dealing with a sociopath or psychopath and they don't give a rats ass if there's silence. In fact, they prefer it even if someone is injured and needs assistance.
I literally take a piece of paper and make a list of two or three topics that I will discuss during the conversation. Usually they are related to wether, random cooking recipes, food prices. Anything that is not include argument or emotional triggers. I don't talk about anything else (theirs favorite topics: victimhood). And when they bring up other topics, I remain silent. Then I quickly move on to my subjects. Otherwise, I fall into the trap and get myself entangled in an emotional storm that can last for hours or even days.
This advice eased my anxiety . The word salad and gaslighting Were so confusing, especially since I'm very logical. Once I saw it, I learned to pay closer attention to What was being said and would Say a times "you must be tired Because what you just said Wasn't coherent, could you Repeat that so I can get your Point " He wanted me to be Frustrated and caught off guard. I put the responsibility on him to Be clear. I wasn't going to decipher nonsense any longer.
I once became buddies with a female coworker who had invited me to her home. I noticed she had several pictures of herself and spoke in vague and charismatic terms to butter me up so I would do her small favors like changing a tire or fixing her internal car engine problems. She tried being very "push and pull" with our small relationship but I saw through it right away thanks to your videos. It's like she keeps people around as if though we were a deck of cards, and our level of kindness was our health points.
Narcissist very fragile ego gets injured by either a misunderstanding or a magnified thing other people wouldn’t even notice. Anything that you are saying is first processed as a potential reason to get offended. You have roughly 2 minutes to make your point in order to stop Mr Hide surfacing from the abyss.
@@lucijavolcansek1939 : Trauma bond can make you emotionally desensitized. Close your eyes and try to remember a nice moment from the time before you have met your narc. How do you feel after that? Or you can do another test. Go out and give a smile to the person who served you a coffee or something else. That person will see you only not the shadow of your narc. The second time go with your narc and give a smile to somebody. Then compare the 2 people ‘s reaction towards you. Come back to me and tell me how it went.
@@bookmarkmonaco4255 i Fake it cuz i Love my self and how i feel. I dont realy care. Only one i care bout is me and my son. Yeah no going back. I was Hurt. I Would never be so cruel to someone. I deserve to protect myself.
@@lucijavolcansek1939 ..hang on....so it's ok for me to live by this rule? This rule is not good. It means I don't have to care about you and your son. Sorry but I actually care about people. All of them.
Thank you for the reminder Richard. Every interaction for them is manipulation. Stay away, don’t give them your blue print, they all have intentions behind the questions
That's right....Narcissist are Sadistic, false little gods demanding you obey them, so they can use you over and over. Don't play the games....Silence is Golden. Use it.
The best tip I can offer based off my experience with a covert narcissist boss is to have a reason to leave the conversation before the character assassinations start. I always make sure to interrupt the very last word of his response to my question with either a “oh my phones ringing” or “ I think I heard the door” to prevent the conversation turning off track.
Agree 500% ive been using silence with my narc spouse and it pisses him off. He loves to talk, and talk loudly, is abusive and an alcoholic. They love noise, he keeps the tv on loud just to listen to news channels and senseless debates on it, at times not even really paying attention to the tv. They are disturbed individuals carrying emotional baggage
The silence either makes them think they are right or they demand you answer them or they start threatening you or they end up accusing you of being someone you are not OR they accuse you of things you are not doing
This was exactly what I was thinking we had never heard of the word narcissist, knew something was seriously wrong with him, he chewed me up and destroyed my self esteem (which I have back now) was like living in a confused nightmare most of the time. Had so much charm until the day after we got married.
This is true! Always communicate with purpose and learn that you're not speaking with someone you can trust. It's a shame that they live by vertical power structures because they always remain in some lofty, illusionary position and reality has to bring them crashing back down to Earth. Only the truth will set you free! 🙏🏽✝️
@@NoName.NotNamed initially they will argue bit after 7/8 cycles of cognitive disonance then they will find the persons repulsive. Depends of the person is codependent (which in itself is a personality disorder)…could last a lifetime.
@NoName That's what I was thinking cause that's what I do. I'm learning, tho. My energy levels aren't what they used to be, so I've had to learn to just stop it. I need to listen to this twice a day to quit trying altogether.
@@shaneclotiaux739hahaha, sorry for your troubles,.. Well what I would add, is never be your genuine self., he said that one too. If I remember correctly.
You and me We used to be together, everyday together Always, I really feel that I'm losin' my best friend I can't believe this could be the end It looks as though you're lettin' go And if it's real, well, I don't want to know Don't speak I know just what you're sayin' So please stop explainin' Don't tell me 'cause it hurts Don't speak I know just what you're thinkin' I don't need your reasons Don't tell me 'cause it hurts
It goes against my nature to back down . Especially when there is injustice involved. (false accusations, false narratives). It is something that I am working on. Until the day comes when I can escape for good. Sending love and good energy from Minnesota to all who need it.
I have that same thing! Seeing unjust situations really irks me & it’s really hard not to speak out, but after years of learning the hard way don’t let the narcissist use that against you! If they know that about your nature they will try to provoke you especially in arguments…not worth it with these monsters! Nothing just about dealing with them! Thank you for the love & good energy! I need it dealing with my narc(s); multiple in the fam 😭😭😭😭😭
Make sure you draw a map back to your original point because they will wander all over and try to drag you with them. You can ask a question ten times and watch them redirect 10 times and never get an answer. Good luck!!!
I woke up in the narcissist bed one morning n said straight to his face so what do u want to do about communication ( honestly I didn’t care about the answer I literally wanted his masks to slip I forced it to slip to get away) he looked at me n said, “I don’t care, I don’t argue with ppl.” 😮 argue? I’ve been so kind n genuine to this person n I’m in awe of how cruel n insensitive someone can be I’m more amused than hurt because I’m backtracking n I’ve literally did nothing wrong. There’s no way u can have a life with these demons!
You wage a war with them. Its unfortunate you need to resort to these type of things. Well done Richard at least here its a safe zone, there are other good teachers on this subject online, only follow you, unfortunately sick of getting trolled there and attacked then having to tell them to bugger off, no safe space here everyone is normal and theres genuine people who are learning and improving Id rather learn and improve myself and validate then waste my time in a slanging match just over drama queens Im glad same age group so you relate well and you complement what my Dr says, Im healing well and got my voice personal power back, thanks keep up good work😇
They hate when u speak with purpose because they can’t speak with purpose. They literally hate u for who u are but they will not verbally admit it to you. They want to be u so they mirror u in hopes that u don’t find out who they are. The funny thing about mirrors they break‼️✌🏾😎 I cried I grieved but it was way too easy to move on because I seen the patterns n when u lay everything down on the table trust me that’s the thing they hate the most cause they’re like kids they do not care n some of em will tell u straight up.
I adapted to the technique of ignoring them not even looking at them while avoiding any conversation but being prepared to shoot them down and defend your self when forced to be around or eating with them.
