I'm excited to share this video with you all, Join in on the conversation below and let everyone know what steps you are taking to be more Foward Focused in 2023.
@@zu8507 Is that to hide from the aliens? I'm wearing Neon glow in the dark flashing outfit hoping they see me and take me back with them. Can't be any worse than clown planet.
Hi Richard, this year from the 1st January to the very last day of 2023 I have not and will not watch news or anything politic related. I dont care if a second Covid will come or bombs are falling from the sky I will not let myself be informed. Second I stopped following toxic vloggers, same time schedule. All focus on healing, finding and working on myself. Sport, education, hobbies, health, and discipline myself and getting my shit together after having very chaotic years behind me. In short to become a strong man inner and outer and that is at least for me very difficult. Have a great day, Richard. 🙏
Moving on from 20 years of marriage with a narcissist who abused our daughter and is going to prison for 25 years. Your videos have helped me so much! But my relationship with God and faith in Jesus has been my daily source of strength and wisdom! You are a beautiful human and I appreciate you Richard!
Dearest, sweetest Richard. You were my first port of call, then Pete Walkers book, when i was discarded 7 yrs ago. I've worked so hard! 5 of my 6 children have since left home and they are doing so good. 3 of them are Adventure Tourism Guides. They have boundries and discernment. Theyre really living. Im reaping what ive sown. We are breaking generational chains out here! ❤️💛💚❤️💛💚❤️💛💚 Love you and Pete xxx
I am very into keeping my daily routine - which totally supports my values. It gets boring, difficult, and off track, but I am not letting myself get impressed by stumbles. The path is clear.
Im in week 2 and it really really sucks….i feel like im dying… one time, I went home and just sit on my sofa. Its very quiet.. then I realized, ahhhh.. this is my real life.. quiet, boring not exciting… I cannot remember the enjoyment and contentment that I had before the abuse… this safe and peace feeling became unfamiliar.. but im trying little by little.
@@beansprout_apg886 Week 2 of the 30 Day Challenge? Or Week 2 of no contact? I say this because I learned this perspective from one of RGs classes. If you are there, you got this more easily than without. If not, look for the Hand Mnemonic on his Fortress Mental Health channel. And if you can find it, mind mapping where you define your values. You go over it so many times that it gets boring - which is when I think it sinks in. I find life much more of a struggle than I like - however the difference is vast between serving false values and being lost versus struggling while your values are there to give you direction. If you have felt peaceful and present, you are more there than you might feel. Ignore me if I am wrong. (I don't get notified of all responses on RU-vid.)
Omg I just had this same realization today. Life is routine and is meant to be “boring” and it’s that way for all of us. I’ve stopped striving to create excitement (by allowing dramatic unsettled people to remain in my life) and I’m learning to enjoy the monotony and routine .
@@makak7773 I just read that when we are in narcissistic abuse, we are always in a flight, fight, or fawn state. We are always alert, just like the feeling whenever we are in danger.. So we need to learn again to be in a safe mode.
I busted out laugh so many times watching this! I am in customer service and it still surprises me how many children in adult bodies I deal will on a daily basis. So i am one who has been waiting for the adults to show up 😂!!! As always, great video!
As some who grew up surrounded by stuff and having it shoved down my throat how important money, job, house, furniture, car, boat, caravan, education, career etc is, I could never get my head around the fact that despite all this stuff everyone in my family was miserable. Its all very well and good to say money doesn't but happiness but its taken me about 40 years to work out what does actually bring me happiness.
Hi Richard, I'm from Poland and part of my life I was living in communist system. It is not exactly what you thinking. The police, penalty system was those days stronger than ever, brutal and agresive. The communism in principle was support to give People equality in material goods. We were supposed to have the same houses, clothes, holidays etc. no matter what you did in life, no matter if you where cardio surgeon or unemployed. Which was totaly unnatural, becase competition is in peoples nature. Competition is in nature itself. If you cannot get better payment for better job, you stops care . And eventually we end with masses of people who only pretended that they were working and great poverty. I hope nobody in the word is still thinking that communist may be good for society.
Well... i know some people who are communists, here in France, so.. ^^' the excuse is "Communism then was badly done" or " It wasn't true communism", stuff like that ^^' but eventually, they will learn history, I hope
Been doing all the things that you listed, focusing on healing through positivity, Journaling, tuning in to me, my mental, physical, emotional, moral health...focusing upon positive tho, behavior, activities and people and establishing healthy boundaries and setting realistic and obtainable goals for myself...
As the daughter of narcissist and an enabler, I never thought about it as a cult and brainwashing, and now I understand it is just like that. Thank you for making this videos, it really helps.
I need to break the trauma bond now. Because I've been going on about it to others what a narcissist has done to me. I now need to learn how to look after myself around this kind of people.
Take responsibilty for your own life for you and only you have the power to change it…that’s what I’m hearing here loud and clear ☺️ I won’t reveal all your Forward Focussed Challenge secrets here, but what I have learned (and have been doing in 2023) is that you absolutely CAN retrain your mind to move away from negative patterns and behaviours through discipline, repetition, consistency and keeping you thoughts, actions and words in line with YOUR wants and your moral values for a better new version of yourself and for a better future. It takes effort and time and dedication and work, but it’s absolutely possible 🦾🦾🦾 Your trauma does not define you for the rest if your life, and while watching RU-vid videos in order to understand certain things that happened to you is certainly beneficial to a degree, don’t fall into the trap of thinking they will heal you and getting stuck in a repeat cycle that is doing you more harm than good. Heal and move away from the NPD/CPTSD narrative and find new tools to push yourself forward. Hope to see more content like this on your channel RG (otherwise I’m unsubscribing 😝), I have a strong suspicion it will do a world of good both to you and your audience 😘
@@pickle9753 Thank you. Half-joking but no, not realy, moving away from content that pulls me back into the past is part of the change towards focusing on the future ☺️
@@mikkamb6955 🦋🦋🦋 this was how I knew it was over and the healing had truly taken hold and I was officially untrapt ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥 days had passed and I hadn't looked it up and it's far between listening to Richard but once in a while he has a clicky title and really just want to check on him because he became like the wise brother I wish I had ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹 healthy and happy and free 🦋🦋🦋 thank you for your beautiful comment 💝💝💝
@@mikkamb6955 ok ya, I get it now. I was feeling the same way a while back when I realized I was no longer watching him to hear him repeat himself, but choose to stay…because I’m “ill” and a “pervert” who has been neglected too long, and finally started to enjoy herself again, and enjoy life around me again, so why not?? “IT’S AALIIVE!!” 😂😂 thought it was dead now. I’m very relieved. Who gives a shit if I’m a pervert any way?? I’m not hurting any one, and my fantasies are healthier then porn, so what ever 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️ stay and enjoy the humour of it all…we are learning to be “Psychopathic” now…and The Aliens are coming…shit is finally getting interesting, why would you leave now?!?! 🤷🏻♀️🤪😂😂 I think we should all be allowed at least one guilt free pleasure in life that won’t give us cancer ffs 🤪😂😂😂❤️ Richard has clearly started to just have fun with it some days as well. Life doesn’t always need to be so “deep”, 😈😈🤣🤣 (I’m sorry, I’m 12🤣) but that’s all just my “crazy ass” opinion 🤷🏻♀️😉 I hope you choose to stay, he seems to be very aware of EVERYTHING going on regarding his content, and has people following that are at different stages of healing. I would imagine it would be hard to make content that covers every one like a blanket horoscope, and I feel like some times he is just “recapping” years of content he lost from his old channels, so the new people can catch up 🖖❤️🤟
2023 #1 Concrete Inner PEACE.... and what ever I have to learn to cultivate it. Thank you for your insights. The battle is real.... Inward and out there... It is not against flesh and blood.... Hard reality to grasp but yet we have to deal with human form?
I broke off a relationship with a narcissist whilst he is either trying to manipulate with a silent treatment or he is about to put me through the discard phase. I've beaten him to it to move on I fell for a reverse hoover that wasn't the best idea and I got treated worse via ignoring me. Luckily I don't live with him. First time I left him he was full on stalking this time he believes I am trying to get him back by breaking up with him. This way he leaves me alone
Every person once aware of being abused by a narcissist knows how hard it is to leave them behind. Philosophy has helped me a lot since I am the daughter of a narcissist and had two relationships with narcissists (as if I had a magnet with them). The way out is worth the effort. Thank you, yours and Vaknin's videos have helped me enormously.
Thank you Richard for helping me to find my way to true individuation. For helping me to overcome my fears and feel optimistic about my future by focusing on a good one 😁💜
0pening ones eyes is all you can do...what we as individuals choose to do once we're set on our healing path is and has to be, left up to free will. We must embrace our free will. We need to comprehend our past, our patterns and learn to let go and be gentle to and with ourselves. From there it's the question "What do I want?" And when we've worked it out, "What do I have to give?" Finding internal and external balance. Find a way to remain open for love. I believe when you are in balance and capable of love, you will add something positive to the planet.
Wow. This is the strongest message I have heard you share thus far. I am well impressed by the human being you seem to be becoming. Thanks for the work you do. You have helped me to save my sanity a couple of times. 😉
There is a saying - never generalise people, and I usually agreed with that. After earthquake happenned in Turkey 2 weeks ago human nature is showing so clear now, and I can definitely say there are 2 types of people - those who unite and construct and those who divide and destroy. It has nothing to do with political and cultural views, religion or lack thereof. Please, try to unite
If it could help anyone, IFS therapy has really been useful to me in recognizing that there are no bad parts of me or bad emotions. They all exist to serve a purpose. This kind of therapy allows you to talk to the individual feelings and parts, and I promise it is miraculous what has happened in my life.
Good video, Richard. I like to learn practical solutions on overcoming my issues. I think it's important to learn about mental health or personality disorder disorders - great for educational purposes and in the beginning. But it doesn't help to overcome our issues. Take care 🙂 I love it when you do your challenges Richard for us, or offer us practical solutions. We need to take responsibility for ourselves and not focus on the narcissist or abusive person - easier said then done but it can be done. Xx ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
Thank you for this beautiful video and wisdom shared, it spoke to my heart! Lots to ponder for me as I head into a new direction in my life going forward. One thing I know for sure is that I'm rising above my past, grounding into my body and living as the best human being I can be following my Spirit! May we be blessed on our paths to move forward and inward, in kindness, wisdom and courage! 🙏❤️🔥🙏
Thanks Richard for sharing your thoughts! These are helpful tools to bring some order in a life, which for many years was marked by traumatic experiences. Think the hardest part is seeing the world like it is with all the toxic tendencies that are playing out at the moment (perhaps longer and I wasn’t aware of it?!). Currently, I’m thinking that the best way to handle all these things is being clear and honest with yourself, knowing who you are and realizing that (maybe) you only have this one life to live. It’s good to see that there are people out there like you that help creating a community all around the world with a healthy mindset ❤
We all do, and that’s why he cut us off I think 😉 breaking the cycle of “feeding our addictions” and “co dependency”…even on him… is all part of the healing, even for the teacher. All the ego fluffing his followers do..must be a bit much for any one at times..and could go to a persons head if they let it, I would think. Maybe he is just making sure his “fame” doesn’t get the better of him, by stepping back a bit at times to make sure he stays humble 🤷🏻♀️ that’s my theory any way, because I think that’s how I would feel if I were in his shoes.
It's in my nature to be a devils advocate and yet you make that SO HARD! Yet again, incredible insight and valuable, actionable advice I cannot find ANY FAULT with. Also, not for the first time, I'm calling my need to be that way into question, but with a smidge more intent to do so. Thanks for all you do, even the shit that makes me groan begrudgingly. ;) Cheers.
Thank you Richard, I really appreciate your stream of consciousness on these subjects. I know you've paid the price through pain to develop these insights and perceptions. Cheers from Oregon.
At like 4mins, You state what is like my mission statement. Your words do well to describe ideas I constantly find myself at a loss for. We both have the same wish to help. Only difference is I am aimed towards an audience of addicts and you, victims of nar. abuse. But honestly there isn’t much barrier between them. I LOVE this video!!! Wish the whole world would watch it.) 〰️➿➰😘
Thank you very much. I love your videos, your teachings, and value your help. This video is great, very helpful. I absolutely agree with everything, and the last point is really important: everyone of us must work individually if we want to become a healthy society. Thank you again 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Yes, let's practically stand up for reality, common sense and truth, not fiction. Sanity, not let the mentally ill define reality and change it. Enough is enough. Many no's to be delivered on many fronts. Time to be adults and protect the children and to be active participants in our collective reality for the highest good of all.
I wished to get my life back and a series of fortunate synchronicity popped up one of your videos. Cut off the poison. Doing the work now. Appreciating instead of panicking does the magic. Time is too precious and constantly ticking. Not gonna waste any itsy bitsy of it. Thank you Mr. Fighter for giving us understandable, systematical and invaluable tools. It's time to practice and make it work! Bring it on 2023, bring it on!
I appreciate all ur teachings and experience. But my experience is with NPD (definitely the personality disorder) in a sister. Very little on RU-vid re siblings. And definitely i am codependent- match her. The big difference is that i seek help in many ways and she will not bc nothing is her fault and is always the victim not matter situation Very tragic as we move into our 60s.
I love this design of words that we still need a hierarchy of skills with a mutual language. I can use this phrase ideally when people with confused individuals bring up the sickness talk from conartists. I'm going to take A action step towards an injunction that needs adjusted on any level vs. ruminating passively on it. Thank you for the hoist up!
It's not the stuff we have in our lives, it's all the misinformation, decite , lies and bullshit that causes much distraction. And of course the TV ads that disruptive. We weren't built for this overload. So just keep it simple and focus on what is more important to you
2023 started off great new house lots to do etc started running, eating well. Feels like I need to find out who I really am this year otherwise all this other stuff won't even matter....short term fixes (alcohol, overeating etc) aren't helping 😑
How can you heal when you’re so confused, after two years of sleeping together almost every night, sharing everything, he just left without any explanation … I have all these questions and memories running through my head 😭😭
Ether way if he discarded me are abuses me until I left the pain and out come was the same pain and confusion of the relationship but the freedom I had forgotten I had before the close encounter of the mind and body snatcher I still love my self are wouldn't have been able to break free and accept what I allowed to happen and how broken he is that I couldn't help him so I helped my self and my horses and dogs cats and dear are happy we went home I was smart enough not to have sold my home when I went to live with him now knowing on lys I had a safe place to go back to
What should I do if the man I was with has traits and mimicks his mothers malignant narcissism because he’s the golden boy but he isn’t a full blown narcissist? What do I do!?
Sorry, but I couldn't disagree more. Capitalism is a system where the strong already devour the week; systematically, ruthlessly, and when deemed necessary, brutally.
🍀🍀🍀 Narcbot survivor here. 1) Learned to sniff them out. (💩) 2) RUN 🏃♂️ 3) Spiritual healing and self acceptance via solitude.🏞 4) Healthy boundaries 🚧 5)Seek joy 🤣
