Negative Reinforcement To Get Your Ex Back 

He is 110% right! I am a psychology student and that’s what he is doing applying behaviorist’s theories. Like Pavlov, Watson and Skinner

Actual title: how to train your ex to be a good boy😂

My dog is better than my ex, because no matter how he behaves he's loyal for life. My ex shoulda learn a thing or two from my doggo buddy

2 days since the break up...everytime I miss him or want to text him I just watch one of your videos and I get motivation to not text back for a couple hours😂 hopefully we don’t run out of videos

He’s absolutely right guys, I gave my ex a gift and she just threw it away. Not only did she get an ego boost, but she ended up not wanting me anymore. That really hurt me too. If you’re still in no contact, please stay that way. If you love and let it go, but it comes back then it’s yours. Time will only tell what is meant for you.

You don't have to say watch to all the way to the end we don't skip a second of your video.✌️

Took two months of patience, but she finally reached out today. 😎

Day 63 of no contact after a 12 years relationship. I am feeling a little better now. It really works guys, even if your ex doesn't come back. It's time you give to yourself to understand what you want. The beginning is difficult but with time it gets easier. Thanksncoach Lee for your help.

I solely listen to coach lee, I don’t like the other click bait ads, he is direct, honest, 20 yrs of experience, a voice like honey and a way with words that’s so much sense to me. Thank you Coach Lee.

Would just like to say my ex dumped me i watched these videos and now ive been going out with her again for 6 months thanks to these videos

I watched more than 50 videos of yours but this one is the peak of humor when i see you smirk after comparing the dog and the ex. You had me cracked up even I am feeling low, you re the best

Just stay in no contact, and when they break no contact, DO NOT go back to initiating conversations first. Let them always initiate conversations until the both of you actually get back together.

"advice from your aunt Tilly doesn't qualify"😂I love your videos! its been 3 months of no contact for me, im just happy I have you coach Lee to get through this! stay positive and safe everyone :)

Almost 4 months no contact. I’m trying so hard to move on...even moved to a different state. The breakup is still as much on my mind as ever. I just want the heartache to end.

I honestly forgot about these videos, forgot about most everything from my old self. But I have to give a lot of credit to this man and a couple others. I was with my gf for 2 years. But i wasn't emotionally supportive at all. I refused to listen to her problems, if they were big problems i would..but i just disregarded the ones that i thought were small. But in actuality they were big to her. So she left me. This girl is a bombshell ok. 5'4" about 150 lbs. 34DD and face like Mila Kunis. But is extremely humble, she doesn't get on social media, no tats, has never smoked or drank in her life, no kids, great career, but most importantly she's a great human being. A find of a lifetime!! I was unaware of myself, how selfish and unsupportive i was. During 7 months of no contact i worked hard on myself, i read books to better myself and watched these vids. Almost exactly 8 months she contacted me. Our cat we had was mauled by a dog, she was freaking out and needed to get him to a vet. So during all this she asked me to stay for dinner. Rest is history. She noticed the change in me. You must fix yourself. And absolutely dont contact them. I cannot explain how hard it is. Not many can do it. We've been back a year and a half now and things truly cant be better. The cat is fine too.

Let’s train the ex like a dog. Sadly, That actually makes sense.

🥳🥳🥳THANK YOU COACH LEE!!!🥳🥳🥳 No contact does work - as Coach Lee says, "believe & trust!" After 8 years together, we broke up in July, & he moved out. I was DEVASTATED. I never ever in a million years thought he would actually move out. We talked off & on in August because we were both confused about what we wanted, if we could fix things, etc. And then he met the "rebound". When I found out about HER, I finally told him we don't need to talk anymore and to leave me alone. That was last Wednesday. I did not contact him again. He showed up at my door this afternoon. I was shocked, to say the least - i thought he'd moved on. Well, apparently he dumped the rebound & wants to come home. I told him I wasn't sure, we still have a LOT to discuss & things to work out. I'm not sure what will happen, but we agreed to get together sometime this weekend to "talk". 🙏🤞🙏

Thank you coach lee♥️we are back together, yestday she called me we sorted things out - we made promises - we both apologized *NO CONTACT RULE REALLY HELPS* *THANKYOU COACH LEE*

Quarantine life makes no contact a cinch.

Does Coach look exceptionally attractive today? I think I'm ready to get back together with him.

Thanks for breaking up with me, here's a butt kiss! Hahahahaha

You’re the man coach lee. Thank you for always talking to the people on a level that’s easy to understand and that really accommodates our knowledge and emotions. All of your videos give us positive reinforcement so we want to continue to watch more. Thank you for making these videos accessible to the public cause I understand how many people need this stuff

"And so you can train your ex!" Lmao! 🤣 This is so relevant to me right now! Thank you.

I like his style. No funny jokes, no time-wasting, cut the fat straight to the point, in a calm assuring and dignified way.

Even though I bought your emergency marriage kit and realized that I don’t want to get my soon to be ex husband back I still listen to every video of yours. You have great advice ! Thank you coach lee you were the only one there for me😀

Reinforcement: strengthens a behavior. Positive Reinforcement: presentation of a positive stimulus (a reward) to strengthen a behavior. Negative Reinforcement: removing a negative stimulus to strengthen a behavior. (Punishment: weakens a behavior). In this case, the Negative in Negative Reinforcement means that you remove a negative stimulus (your silence and the anxiety your ex might feel) to strengthen a behavior (your ex reaching out in a positive way). So, your ex misses you, feels a form of anxiety, and contacts you; you in turn reply kindly and that lessens your ex’s anxiety. You’ve rewarded your ex by being kind (thereby lowering his/her anxiety), which increases the chance (strengthens the behavior) of your ex reaching out again. If youre mean/cold to your ex when he/she reaches out, you weaken the behavior of his/her reaching out (Punishment).

Breakups have taught me to appreciate human behavior.

Man i totally feel coach Lee. It’s been super hard. We’ve been together for 7 seven years and married. Due to my mental health from the military it’s been too much to handle for her and she left me about 6 months ago. The hardest part is that we have kids together but she makes no effort to let them see me. My oldest daughter is always asking why we don’t love each other anymore and why we’re not married. I hope one day she comes around and realizes it’s not just about her anymore but about the kids. We had a good relationship and had fights just like any other couple. I hope this no contact works for the sake of my girls.

Watching this video was tough for me. I am a vengeful and jealous person. Blame my sign of being a Scorpio. Hearing your words actually woke my mind and not do anything to jeopardize my chances of getting back with my Ex. Thank you Coach Lee.

I'm finally FREE! The very same day we had that fight, I met Cavi and he is the One. I know, some people will say, you are going way too fast, you need that period for griefing but I spoke with my therapist about and now I'm detoxing myself from that relationship of 5 years and I couldn't feel better. I wish him the best, no, really do. With Cavi we have so much in common. Cocteau, Fellini, Debussy, Ravel, french cuisine, art in general and our spirituality. We are deeply connected and I didn't need 5 years to find out that you have to let go what make you sad and sick. Thanks Coach Leee...

Ya’ll this works!!! He tried to follow me on Instagram but the problem is it’s on private and I’ve already moved on. We’ve been in no contact since the day after we broke up. I’ve worked on myself for the past 3 months and is doing great with school and work! With all the things going on with my life right now, I don’t think that I can afford adding another responsibility in my life right now so I rejected his request. If I can do it, you all can too!

You really have such a deep understanding of these matters, you truly are the best. xx

he is confident cause he is right

Great topic and very timely. Exactly what's happening with me and my ex right now. It may not work out, but fair to say we should both be able to walk away with dignity.

I've been watching your vids as they offer a lot of clarity, sanity, logic. You show us the bigger picture. As much as we feel deeply as human beings. If you can take a step to breathe. Think. Put how you feel aside for a second and examine the situation. You can make better moves. Whether you want your ex back or not. You can make better choices. It may have taken a traumatic breakup experience for me to seek out help on his videos / through face to face therapy and so on. But I WILL be BETTER in the long run. Whether I want my ex back or not right now is immaterial. I need to work on myself but being armed with better knowledge is so much more rewarding too.

The best coach I’ve ever listened to

Lol, low key calling my ex a bitch 🙊 great video, I love waking up and putting on one of your videos to make me be at peace for the rest of the day.

You are not only educator you are the creator of relationship created by God , awesome patience and knowledge sir I am from india ❤

The psychology behind this is very important and interesting!

I got my ex back now we are happy together your videos help me a lot just tell the what to do after no contact this is the really confusing part of getting back together people start giving what ex is demanding and then ex disappear because of assurance

I’m a behavioral therapist and these are true. Applied Behavior Analysis!

I am so impatient ,i daily watch atleast 2 videos of coach lee to stay in no contact

Hi Coach Lee, hope you and your family are doing well and staying safe.

I'm feeling the new haircut coach, looks great!

Loved the analogy of a dog even though I love dogs!! However Negative reinforcement just doesnt mean being in no-contact but it is how you train them during the no-contact of facing the consequences of their “barking” via appropriate means that makes you look like their prize!

I LOVE it! You made me laugh out loud today. 😊 Exactly what we all needed to hear. Thank you for your content. I think I'm becoming your number # 1 fan. For example, I saw your video pop up on my feed. Raced to the Keurig for a cup of coffee and sat down and listened. Great reminder of our plan ❤ We're so blessed to have you. Congrats on your success to date. Hope things are well with you during this difficult time. 🙏

"You're gf is not a dog." Welllllll...🙄😊 "You can train your dog- you can train your ex. Jk" 👀🤔😂😂

I don't want my ex back. I want you Coach Lee damn he looks good

Your vídeos have helped me keep my sanity. Thank you! My ex broke up with me in one of the hardest times of my life. Trouble is I'm hooked up on him like a junkie. Thank God I learned the no contact in my last relationship, if he doesn't reach out at least I kept my dignity.

This can re-defined as "missing reinforcement" as the same as negative in this case.... they don't see it as negative, they see it as missing it. Healthy. Thanks Lee

1 month and 11 days in NC and Quarantine makes this so much worse especially when you are an overthinker and you need distraction so your thoughts cannot control you.. but here we are in a LockDown, stay strong y’ll at the end you will be stronger than ever!

“Good boy being quite while we eat” 😂. What I needed to hear to cheer me up. Stay strong everyone 🙏🏽

Last night and today we had a terrible fight on the phone. I'm a very calm person, always pleasing him on every way possible, but we broke up 2 weeks ago and now I learned that he is with someone else. I'm deeply hurt, only God knows, but I know now that he doesn't deserve me. He never did.

Instead of fighting all the time, I initiated the breakups 2ce. It wasn't for a lack of affection. There were great challenges and it was easier to take a step back. However he reacted badly and went no contact with me which hurt me so much. I went crazy for 3months then went totally NC also for 80 days. On the 81st day I sent him a message and he responded well. We had an easy conversation and I am working to keep bettering my own life. Thanks Coach Lee. :)

Everytime I almost break no contact I will be listen to coach lee video. He always talk about wanting an ex with a self respect intact. I'm on two months of no contact. He reached me twice. I'm lying if I said I don't want him. But my focus right now I just want to level up myself value and self respect even it cost me to lose him. I just want old me. Thank you coach lee.

Hey guys, I wanted to drop a comment about another G.O.A.T Lee video that I feel is relevant to this video. I'm referencing the video(s) where he says after you've given real NC a good amount of time, like 3+ months or so, that you can decide whether or not just to put a "feeler" out there with your ex because at that point, you have nothing left to lose. I recently made the decision to stupidly break NC after 65 days or so, making this the second time I've broken it. The reason I did is because I knew regardless of what happened I would be perfectly okay with either outcome. Make sure that if you ever do break NC, it is for a genuine curiosity and not out of manipulation or ill will. I simply wanted to catch up over a drink and a bite to eat like two adults. That being said I will never reach out again for as long as I live, because getting ignored in any way shape or form is a manipulation. So in a sense, I win, because I get every answer that I need.

Could you add videos about say how to have healthy relationship habits. I know your focus is on getting someone back to their ex, but I think a lot of us would also appreciate such videos, as well.

Coach Lee, please make a video about what to say to arrange a meet up after no-contact and what to do when you finally do meet them

Yes IF THEY WANT YOU BACK. THEY MAY NOT. Then its just killing us. Ty coach

I'm two weeks NC but I'm a dog trainer so I hope I get to practice positive reinforcement!!! Thanks Coach Lee, you are wonderful

Very helpful. I needed this boost to keep me focused during my no-contact. Your "here's a butt-kiss" comment had me laughing like crazy🤣🤣🤣

Advice from my experience the worst thing you can do is beg and plead after a break up I wish I had of gave my ex the break up right away and maybe I would be with her today instead I went 3 months trying to say anything I could to get her back. Nothing worked it only pushed her away more. Go no contact right away period . Today I feel okay with things and am starting to accept everything. I pray I heal and I pray she does as well

What would you do for the love of your life ? Would you give your life for her? Would take a bullet for her? Would you build her a house ? You can’t give her NC to miss you ?? You can’t take time away in order for her to figure out she misses you? To help yourself grow into a better man and be a better man for her ?? I’m in 4 months , 3 months of begging .. then thanks to Coach Lee I learned she wants as much as I do for me to be a better man .. and she heal herself .. I did t know “space” was a real thing. Now I do .. she can take all the time she needs and I know I can take her from any man she may meet ... give her the time not only for her but for yourself as well...

Coach lee I need to Thankyou so much!! My ex texted me after 3 weeks of no contact saying he wants to see me and that he found it so hard everyday not to talk to me and everyday he tried to send me a message but thought I didn’t want to talk to him so he left it be. Anyway this was after 1 whole month of constant begging and pleading so you all have hope! Just sharing my success story so stick with no contact even though I couldn’t bare it some days.

It’s a fine line bc as Coach says you can’t be cold and rude of course . That will only repel the person.

I know you make videos on trying to get your ex back but could you make more videos on really moving on? I think some of us might need that assurance that its a good move when we're wondering if we should give up.

Hello been working 16 hrs. Driving home as usual listening to the one and only King Coach Lee. I appreciate your analogies. It’s works it truly works. You look so handsome in blue, eyes are stunning. Be safe🥰

Thanks Coach Lee, your advice is really helping me get through. I'm thinking of going totally silent on social media now as well as no contact (I know my ex was still viewing my stories and live vids) so maybe then he might worry about me and get in contact.

Negative reinforcement is removal of an aversive stimulus.

This is real advice, do not let you're emotions and mind doubt it, i indulge Lee's actions, he is not bs you, this is not just to make you feel better. It's a fact, if you never dive into the water, you will never learn to swim.

Another great video from Coach Lee. My Ex reached out via text after 2 months we exchanged few texts and he ghosted me and disappeared again. I just believe in Coach Lee's advice and maintain no contact rule.

You are awesome Coach Lee...great advice in a straight forward way...with a lil dose of humor!

I highly recommend the emergency break up kit

U made me soo HAPPY seein a new video pop up on my screen. I jus had 2 look at it immediately...as my data wil b up soon...in like a few minutes. So THANK u Coach Lee 4 dis new video. Idk wat am gonna do tonight without havin data 2 look at your videos. I am panicking at d moment!

Today i cried coz i miss him so much. Last night we had a casual text convo. I was the one who reached out after 17days of NC. I was just asking something not related to us and he responded to me and it ends. I woke up today feeling lonely and sad. How id like to meet him and be with him but i just cant express that to him coz i dont want to boost his ego. I want this heartache to end. Hugs?

Oh man...you're so spot on!! I've been a puppet far to long for my ex....ignoring the fact I was only feeding their ego.....now I'm mad at myself for doing it. Pathetic!! ...The heart make us do foolish things. I've been in contact for 5 months...and now I will disappear to get myself back...any suggestions?

9:20 "No one says..." 🤣 I died laughing. Coach Lee, you're the best.

I’m 7 days into NC, and just hit a wall. I felt I was keeping myself busy and setting myself goals but each day just losing more and more hope that she’ll come back. Especially in this lockdown period it’s hard to get through and all ears to any advice😞

Coach Lee, I just wanted to say thank you for all the videos you've made on the platform. It has really helped me to understand how to handle ex's in the right way. I was wondering if for a future segment you could make a video on entering no contact and then the ex immediately contacting back trying to avoid no contact, despite trying to be as clear as possible with them. I'm curious as to how that situation should be handled.

Great new hairstyle! Wonderful advice also. I got my ex back following your advice

"Thanks for breaking up with me! Here's a buttkiss!" 🤣🤣🤣 I needed a laugh today, thank you. :) I love the dog analogy. I train dogs and work with them for a living. Dogs are my favorite people. 💖

Coach lee thank you a lot Nearly 2 months after she went back to her ex I did no contact and It worked Of course she didn't come back but it helped me move on and if she were to come back I will kick her ass At first it felt very hard but by watching your videos daily helped me manage

Thankyou, today is my exs birthday.. and I didnt reach out. I'm so proud of myself.. couldn't have done it without Coach Lee.

Coach lee you know your stuff. Trust this man he knows the real deal.

Don’t BEG it’s so unattractive and pushes people away! Also if your ex takes you back over pitty than the relationship may become worse than it was the first time!

Hi coach Lee, can you do more videos about long distance? “Ex move on” or “ ex has no feelings for you”, etc. thanks

Hey Coach Lee! Your videos are super helpful and I really appreciate you! I'm quite confused on what to do. It was a 4-year relationship and it was serious. She dumped me because of a big fight over a month ago. Of course I made the classic mistakes by begging, pleading, sticking around for the first few weeks. It didn't made her blocked me or anything but she wants us to stay friends. I finally decided to do NC, half assed, I only survived for a week. I broke the NC 3 days ago and I think it went positive. She told me that she missed me and asked how I'm doing. I didn't jumped on to her and I'm quite positive that I played it cool. She indirectly asked if I'm talking to someone else and I stupidly said no. I tried to rekindle and re-attract her by being playful and light in every interaction. I used a little bit of flirting too because I don't wanna fall into the friendzone. She pulled the "you know we're friends right?" card yesterday and I used your advice to agree to it in a sarcastic way. Now she's being defensive. She probably sensed that I'm trying to win her back. Should I slow things down or should I commit to a NC (not half-assed) now? Hoping for your kind response, Coach Lee. Cheers!

hahahaha i like your humor coach alex! its been a year since we broke up. you're one of the people who help me understood why we broke up and help me recover. God bless you 💕

“And so you can train your ex... *smirks* .. just kidding “ You’re hilarious 🤣

Should’ve used this method so long ago, He broke up with me went no contact going on 6months now, but he still has our picture together on FB, we just had a baby together, my family and him are in contact but he’s not talking to me, this is so heartbreakingly hard because once I fall outta love it’s over they can never get it back, Ever. I’m scared...... 😢I don’t want to fall outta love, I love ...love 💔

I think maybe my ex has wanted to contact me, but she hasn’t because she thinks I’m might be cold. I haven’t reached out she hasn’t. We only dated for 3 months. It’s been about a month now of complete no contact. She hasn’t even spoken a word. I told her I didn’t want to see her at all for a couple months because she broke my heart. I said that before I learned that you shouldn’t say you are doing no contact. That was before I ran into these videos. Now I think she hasn’t contacted me because of my broken heart and since our relationship was short she may be moving on. I’m even moving on a little. It doesn’t hurt as much. So i think I’ll text her in a few days and mention something I did, how it reminded me of her and made me smile. Wish me luck in reestablishing at least a “friendship” with my ex. We will take it slow. She was my friend primarily and I miss that I’ll tell her “I just want to be friends” but maybe throw some flirting in there. Unless she really really really just wants to date me again. Ill go with it a little but give her a little bit of push back. I’ll wait until she proves that she won’t leave me again. I still don’t trust her and I’ll show it.

7:29 Woah, my ex literally has an aunt called Tilly. Hopefully she's not taking her advice.

5 days into no contact, wish me luck guys. I’ll try to keep you guys updated

Wow, powerful analogy, but hate that type of sh!t but it is so common.

Almost broke no contact Thanks coach

Just have that feeling he will never initiate or resolve anything. Never has before such a cycle.

Well, we met each other several times at work, and the chemistry was so high we ended up talking about it. I said I was willing to give us another chance, since we're so attracted to each other it's consuming us. (He says he desires me and he even tried to hookup with me. But now he has been giving me all kinds of polite excuses. That he has affection for me and he's afraid to lose our friendship if we end up breaking up again, but also said if we got together again it didn't have to be until we exhausted the chemistry, that what we had was good but I was too intense, it would have been cool if I was less invested... etc etc. And now he's avoiding me. Ignoring me. Ghosting me. And obviously finding someone to date. I gave him the positive reinforcement.

"You can train your ex" 🤣 I wish! Lee you're funny xx 😊

Hey coach I think a video on your ex ghosting would be very useful. My ex just disappeared out of my life out of nowhere and I personally think it’s much hurtful than a normal breakup

Hi Coach! Just wanted to drop in and say it's 1 day shy of a month + a week and my ex spoke to me (nearly gave me a damn heart attack) no contact seems to have worked :D She still seems to be wanting to date this other guy (if she isn't already...) But, baby steps