Nothing In Resident Evil 7 Makes Any Sense At All - Escort Mission

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Hey Resident Evil 7, if you receive an email from someone claiming to be your wife who's been missing for three years, maybe do some investigating from afar first. But seriously, great game, just a terrible story.
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Опубликовано:

8 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 329

@TheMangakaOtakuLife 7 лет назад

There are two kind of commentors: "lol yeah this game sucks" and "ARE THEY FUCKING??!?!? TELL ME THEY'RE FUCKING!!!"

@jacoshneko 7 лет назад

This comment wins the truth award.

@lokijotunn5233 7 лет назад

Kraikrai lol!

@ldragon8480 7 лет назад

Well.. you're definitely not wrong.

@aboutashow 7 лет назад

There's still a third: people who talk about the games...but they don't matter.

@infidelmat 7 лет назад

Well.....are they?

@PatrickHogan 7 лет назад

I always forget about this show because it posts so infrequently, but it's always great.

@carterstephens9963 7 лет назад

Not always, the doom review made no sense.

@incendiary6243 7 лет назад

Carter Stephens none of these are reviewes

@carterstephens9963 7 лет назад

Ok whatever you want to call it but that's not the point.

@songofthieves 7 лет назад

I like that Michael decided to run and hide too, instead of turning the game off. Like, "nope! This is the game's house now!"

@ravelordnito9211 7 лет назад

I'm glad that I'm not the only one who thought the cow dismemberment shrine was a dead giveaway to gtfo.

@smaakjeks 7 лет назад

Bovine furniture is never good news.

@weebjeez 7 лет назад

But... Leather sofas are classy...

@smaakjeks 7 лет назад

+The Garnet Gamer Sure. Just avoid the Ed Gein collection.

@LunarEdge7 7 лет назад

Smaakjeks K U R High-larry-us.

@smaakjeks 7 лет назад

+Lunar I'm not taking notes. Thanks, though.

@NoOne-zd6zb 7 лет назад

His fear when he realises Micheal is still playing Resident Evil 7 is hilarious

@BigCowProductions 7 лет назад

White Mage yeah that was a great reaction XD

@jadapink3064 7 лет назад

She stabbed him with a screw driver and cut his hand off with a chainsaw. I know it was only a game but I wanted a divorce.

@Kalleosini 7 лет назад

till death do you part. unless oaths means nothing to you, but then why get married at all.

@darthwrath20 7 лет назад

not getting Impaled > oaths

@mirmalchik 7 лет назад

lol I really hope Ebon Hawk's comment there was sincere. It's a good joke either way, but I love a world where there's one guy whose first reaction to "dude's wife tried to kill him" is "but he promised to stick by her in sickness and in health bruh." Fucken brilliant

@LunarEdge7 7 лет назад

Ian Barry If the husband thought that and ran, knowing his wife's normal personality and that she doesn't have anything like a mental disorder, bipolarity, or some kind of sick amputation fetish, he would live in regret. And don't forget he has had enough love to go on 'single' for 3 straight years, so you mind as well go all-out on getting her back from whatever's causing the sudden change in her sanity and get her back.

@LunarEdge7 7 лет назад

Ian Barry And I would rather die knowing that I did my best in saving her rather than just losing a limb for nothing, living in regret, knowing I went by 3 years and finally had the opportunity to reunite with her just to pucker out the minute she looked infected with something.

@profrickshaw 7 лет назад

To be fair "Great Game, Terrible Story" applies to most Capcom games.

@johnyliltoe 7 лет назад

Most games really. I do get excited though when I think of the rich and deep story of Tetris though.

@AmityvilleFan 7 лет назад

U know what? I bet Tetris had a story in its manual. Every fuckin' thing had filled half their manual with friggin lore.

@johnyliltoe 7 лет назад

Oh wow, you're totally right. I forgot about those often ridiculous manual stories! Why put in in the game when you can just write it down?

@XxnamcoxcapcomxX 7 лет назад

Isaac Kramer no what about.... um ok maybe... Holy shit you're right.

@colinworks2550 7 лет назад

Especially one of their most successful but often overlooked ips monster hunter

@Rawrist 7 лет назад

This is by far my favorite series, Cracked.

@lwanco1018 7 лет назад

"He got an email from his wife, who he thought was dead, telling him to come here." That sounds familiar for some reason.

@TheZombielayer 7 лет назад

yeah, made me do a double take to make sure it wasn't silent hill

@Vicioussama 7 лет назад

This, After Hours, Obsessive Pop Culture, and Roger are the best things of Cracked :D

@brianhill1818 7 лет назад

The God Emperor true also like today's topic although it not as high as the others

@poppe076 7 лет назад

Couldn't agree more. At least they seem to have cut down on the low effort slideshows with text interspersed. Now if only they'd stop making videos that try to tell me what to think it would be perfect.

@poppe076 7 лет назад

Also, bring back Does Not Compute!

@rexusthevaliant6311 7 лет назад

The God Emperor Getting tired of Roger though :/ i get what he does now. its kinda like Adam Ruins everything, sure the information is neat and presented in a fun way it just gets stale

@shamanik1320 7 лет назад

Yes, CrackedTV, and Does Not Compute was such an awesome format. Who doesn't like funny internet bullshit? At least there's tons of old episodes. One of the rare types of short clip vids I'll watch over and over a lot. Along the lines of Dr. Tran (amazing if you've never experienced it).

@Sahantara 7 лет назад

Michael: "You're adorable when you're being stupid" I ship them so hard ❤️

@garretttipton6163 7 лет назад

N00B: "I'll be in my room." L33T: "yeah, I'm coming." Oh yeah.

@BigCowProductions 7 лет назад

You're stupid and need help. Stop seeing sexual crap everywhere when there isn't any. Not everything needs to be where people are fucking

@mackenziemaple5665 7 лет назад

honestly you're the one assuming it's sexual man.... they never said anything about sex. You're the one who sees a relationship and whose first thought is sex.

@jefferyjefferson2835 7 лет назад

Relationship doesn't immediately imply sex; it could be merely romantic. Not everything needs to be where people are fucking. (By the way, I added that period. Nice grammar, dumbass.)

@LunarEdge7 7 лет назад

Big Cow Productions: Project Soul Link They just like the bromance they have and have yaoi thoughts about them cuddling. Like did you mean to think they're thinking of those two having intercourse specifically? Even if not, it's 2017, the age of shipping, where rainbow flags are up in way more places. Just gotta get with the program and maybe have some fun shipping people together yourself as well.

@johnlong8952 7 лет назад

Resident Evil 7 wishes it could be Maniac mansion

@MC-up9nx 7 лет назад

Maniac Mansion was an awesome game.

@1hyugaclan1 7 лет назад

The line about coming back with all the guns the south has to offer was hilarious.

@chamab.6800 7 лет назад

"I mean... we shouldn't even be here man!" lol. I ain't even mad.

@DetectiveLance 7 лет назад

Y'know, on the one hand I wanna contradict everything Michael said....but then I wonder 'have the Japanese developers been ignoring EVERY new story about US cops?'. Then I wonder if all Japanese developers just secretly love B horror movies.

@Yoarashi 7 лет назад

"Secretly"?

@biohazard724 7 лет назад

Bunny Cop Each style change in Resident Evil has been a love letter to B horror movies. Gen. 1 was obviously George Romero, Gen. 2 was Alien and worldwide plague movies, and now Gen 3 is psycho killer flicks.

@mirmalchik 7 лет назад

Do Japanese developers regularly come up to you on the street and confess their love for B horror movies? No? Then they're keeping it a secret.

@LunarEdge7 7 лет назад

Ian Barry Too bad their games haven't done a good job on that based on biohazard's comment.

@LastLaughStudios 6 лет назад

Telling every rando you see and keeping it a secret has a very large middle ground there. I don't tell every person I meet my almost unnerving affection for Ryan Reynolds, but that dosen't mean it's in any way a secret.

@natenax3233 7 лет назад

Cracked needs to build out the world and sell this series as a tv show. This is way better than any of the 17 shows college humor has sold the last 5 years.

@kjjacques8605 6 лет назад

This would be difficult to produce in 20 minute lengths for full seasons, plus everyone cool left cracked.

@aarondurham8275 7 лет назад

I love it when I see an Escort Mission video show up on Cracked.

@th3be4rd0foden3 7 лет назад

If only the noob had been playing with the psvr headset... ah I remember my first heart attack...

@MariaVosa 7 лет назад

I think I arrived first. I'll turn back and return with a full unit of police men

@adamgray1753 7 лет назад

Or come back fully armed, stocked up on appropriate ammo, at least some body armor, and a Google Map of the place, or better yet a map of the place from the local City Hall.

@hansknickerbocker9202 7 лет назад

I agree, but I'm sure they could pretty easily make a lot of changes/additions to the house without permission.

@TimTE01 7 лет назад

They have to file Permits and shit. This is 2017.

@Brandyalla 7 лет назад

Yes, because filing permits is the zombie/alien/monster way.

@hansknickerbocker9202 7 лет назад

img.myconfinedspace.com/wp-content/uploads/tdomf-2/435698/bender-laugh-harder.jpg

@UCeagle79 7 лет назад

How can I encourage Cracked to make more of these videos or videos with these two? Michael and Greg are two of my favorite actors and I love everything they are in. These have to be cheap to make and film. I'd love a weekly Game review video with these two, and i feel like game companies would love to sponsor these two. Want i REALLY want, is a live stream or super long video where these two play a Co-op game together, with Michael having to use all of his skill and knowledge to carry Greg through the game and explaining while he does. I would PAY for that.

@NikSwiftDigs 7 лет назад

Cracked has really taken the 'L33T and N00B are in a relationship' thing and running with it. And I couldn't be happier!

@NoJusticeNoPeace 7 лет назад

They wouldn't need a video editing suite for that. You could do stuff like that with a Video Toaster, which was essentially just a modded Amiga. For most of the 80s and 90s, the Video Toaster was what most professionals used. I just checked eBay and you can get a Video Toaster plus working Amiga for $150.

@Yoarashi 7 лет назад

Think simpler. The character who shot the videos does have access to a computer, so editing is not a problem, but the computer is in a secret location that he doesn't want to share. Since the elderly owners of the mansion don't own a DVD player or a PC, he has to use VHS if he wants to show others his videos.

@TimTE01 7 лет назад

You're both overthinking and under thinking this.

@kyleg5410 7 лет назад

"I'll be in my room" "Yeah alright, I'm coming" I knew there was sexual tension between these two!

@BigCowProductions 7 лет назад

Kyle G stop projecting. He was just saying he was coming since he was scared. Not everything has to be sexual. Get mental help

@kyleg5410 7 лет назад

Have you ever heard a joke before?

@mirmalchik 7 лет назад

awww "Yeah, you're right. I'm comin'!" Yeah. They either sleep in the same room or just comfort each other when they're scared. That's adorable.

@Gamingchairenthusiast122 7 лет назад

Needed gator zombies when you go out on the bayou.

@filippaustralovenator6368 7 лет назад

Animals can sense when cataclysms are imbound (that hurricane,powerful enough to move a tanker around), - so no molded animals...

@TimTE01 7 лет назад

They were in a Zoo in one of those weird Online Games for PS2 though. So, you know, Zombie Elephant Penis.

@WanderingChin 7 лет назад

Alec Pridgen Resident Evil Outbreak was a weird concept but I fucking loved the single player, even though the AI of your companions was dog shit.

@ngrayson 7 лет назад

YEAH NEW ESCORT MISSION

@tonimi137 7 лет назад

I was so happy to see another episode of the continuing love story between L33t and N00b. They're the best couple in gaming.

@helenagrey6317 7 лет назад

I love 'Escort Missions' even though I don't play video games, just love the writing and characters!

@j.h.2495 7 лет назад

Before even going to the place where my "dead wife" sent me an address to go, I would have google mapped it and used google earth on it as well, called local law enforcement and if no reply before I get to the place, would be calling federal law enforcement, probably try for the DEA and say that I found 1,000 kilos of some hard drug so they raid it with fully automatic weapons, looked for yelp reviews for local restraunts, and at least 3 different hotels to stay at.

@robertodriscoll7686 5 лет назад

Anyone else think they would have done something differently if they had known that was going to be the last episode ever? Hard to believe, man, I loved this series.

@calamaria9221 4 года назад

Of course they would have

@francesco8000 7 лет назад

Yeah...i have to agree that the cow dismemberment shrine appear way too early to make sense. Damn the guy doesn't even say "may be i should call the police?"

@izzy1221 7 лет назад

I bet Cracked is going the subtle route...One day we're just going to see them talking and a little girl runs up to them and asks L33T to read her a bedtime story and N00b picks her up and they all go to bed.

@0sumzack611 7 лет назад

I like it right as it is. They are, they aren't. Just two dudes who are to what ever degree, happy to live together. And genuinely care about each other. With a healthy dose of sarcasm and criticism.

@BigCowProductions 7 лет назад

Isagail Go back to tumblr. Not everything has to be infused with sexual bullshit. Not every set of roommates are fucking.

@kellercorrield7733 7 лет назад

So... L33T and N00B share a room right? This confirmed it right?

@Moscato_Moscato 7 лет назад

Keller Corrield they share a bed dude

@davidtaylor142 7 лет назад

Keller Corrield he obviously said "my" room not "our" room. If anything, this confirms the opposite

@weebjeez 7 лет назад

They don't share a room, but they share a bed. That's my interpretation based on this comment chain.

@seanpowers1899 7 лет назад

The Garnet Gamer So did they saw the bed in half or do they swap the bed between rooms every othet day?

@jameshill2450 7 лет назад

It's halfway through the sliding door.

@celticwolff5429 7 лет назад

Has anyone noticed a change in N00b since California has changed their marijuana law?

@Mokona127 7 лет назад

I do like the game, but I have to say - fair enough.

@SheerSniper7 7 лет назад

I thought the reason the guy wasn't so freaked out by the cow shrine thing was because he was an Umbrella agent. That's why he can handle guns so well or why nothing in the house really gets a response that a a normal person would react to since he's seen some shit while working for Umbrella. Also this may be why at the end when actual Umbrella helicopters show up he isn't immediately killed or arrested so they can do a cover up.

@JarredMallard 7 лет назад

SheerSniper7 On Tvtropes (SPOILERS sorta) Due to the nature of the mold it's more along the facts he's actually being shared the information and knowledge of how to handle and make weapons from his wife. Fridge page if I'm remembering correctly.

@Exaggeratedreality 7 лет назад

As of yet, no confirmation has been made about Ethan or his involvement with any of these organizations or even his knowledge of. We can assume due to capcoms desire to make a "average everyday" protagonist that he is not involved in any way, and is merely a normal guy who has a wife with deeper connections. That being said the game itself didn't give Ethan much in the way of a personality that would indicate one way or another. He was able to handle the guns easily enough, and his responses to a lot of what was going on was "meh" most of the time. I'm going to personally assume that it was poor character writing however and not some deeper meaning in the history of Ethan. Plus, assuming this is the Umbrella we know (I honestly dont think so), it's not uncommon for them to scoop up already infected individuals and civilians while they are sweeping an area, and especially not uncommon for our ending character.

@psychoround6764 7 лет назад

More escorts missions!

@FilmsYouHate 7 лет назад

Wait a gosh darn second there, Some cop disappears, goes radio dead, and the police don't send a full squadron down there? There's a garage after a scene where the hero says he wants out, which was proven to lead to the outside, and because it's shut, he doesn't take it? Where did they get the cow legs?

@michaelkramer7550 7 лет назад

I love this series, and I only wish they had talked more about the Resident Evil series stories to give this one context and length. Seriously, my biggest critique is you don't make them longer so I can savor them more. This is one of my favorite Cracked series ever, and I always love when a new one arrives!

@juliaboon9741 7 лет назад

I LOVE this show! Thanks for making another episode!!!

@Byrnzi360 7 лет назад

Maniac Mansion was a masterpiece.

@isaacthek 7 лет назад

My new catch phrase is "Holy f*** this, I'll be in my room."

@landonletterman831 7 лет назад

Last game bothered me in the same way. They have computers, high tech gene manipulation technologies, and 3-D hologram phones..... but somebody committed this evidence of Ada Wong popping out a chrysalises vagina to VHS tape..... and tucked it in a corner... AH'SIT, AH'M GOIN HOME! - slams door -

@PlsWaLuigiDomMe 7 лет назад

I always thought that Ethan secretly knew a lot more than he let on which is why he didn't leave

@jackdoyle7453 7 лет назад

Maniac Mansion was a great game!

@TestAcct46 7 лет назад

A weak story can be offset by strong gameplay, and vice versa. Ideally you want both gameplay and story to be strong, but that's fucking hard man.

@benhudson7991 6 лет назад

I love that old game "Maniac Mansion" WHOO!

@OmegaDanJA 7 лет назад

Please make more videos like this on other games. This was brilliant!

@Satabell 7 лет назад

Come on They Send......a........Single.......BLACK COP. Like in my head I'm going "This Fucker Is going to die"

@EyeHeytEwe 6 лет назад

Alright, Cracked. I've gotten invested in the bootleg Harry Potter series, Jedi training academy, Does Not Compute and everything else you've decided to cancel of Swaim's. Please, let him shine, he's one of your best talents.

@Eris-_ 7 лет назад

"We make videos." Poor tired Michael. Give that Rock Star a Red Bull! ☺

@shadowfoam3491 6 лет назад

RIP, Cracked. Too weird not to have you guys around any longer.

@Art1611 7 лет назад

"I mean we shouldn't even BE here, man!" 😂😂😂 His facial expression and voice are great 😂😂 Now I feel this line can be applied to many other videogame plots lol

@TallulahFails 7 лет назад

I love that both parts of this couple are equally terrified of the floaty decapitated head

@InverseAgonist 7 лет назад

Cracked, you're clearly leaning into the l33t-n00b ship on this one.

@darryljack6612 7 лет назад

Both of the Wives in Res 7 and Outlast 2 aren't really kinda worth it, But at least in outlast 2 you loose her on site and your lost as well so you might as well go looking for her but in RES 7 if its been three fucking years fuck that.

@blackhalo317 6 лет назад

I love how N00B freaks out about how L33T started the game over again. I enjoyed all his reaction honestly.

@timothycarney9652 3 года назад

I know they aren't making any more of these, but after playing Psychonauts again in expectation of the sequel coming out this month, I can't help but wonder what topic an episode with Mike playing psychonauts would be like, and the delightful conversations that would be had about the creative worlds in said game.

@admorteminimicus3207 7 лет назад

Ethan's wife tries to kill him in the intro sequence, he puts her down with an axe in the shoulder (WHICH HE THEN RETRIEVES) and still apparently has to walk through the front door to get out as opposed to jumping out the nearest dilapidated, boarded with rotten wood window and hauling ass for his car...

@forkittens 7 лет назад

swain is the best part of cracked

@kdnladner93 7 лет назад

4:45 is my exact reaction too lol

@Relisysification 7 лет назад

first okay through of this was in VR. everything was terrifying, especially the chainsaw scene at the start...

@aydenburgess905 7 лет назад

*clicks on notification as music kicks in* _WELL I HEARD THAT YOU WERE TALKIN SHIT AND YOU DIDN'T THINK THAT I WOULD HEAR IT_

@joshandhistube 7 лет назад

This totally checks out. Super spooky the first time through, though!

@jaydot6785 5 лет назад

I lose it every time I hear,"well that's a pretty good fucking indicator there."

@LiliFromHali 6 лет назад

"i'm coming"? yeah, they're totes gon bone down.

@thebronyhoodpony5627 7 лет назад

Still waiting for the Resident evil outbreak remake...

@asgardiangod23 7 лет назад

hell yeah!! I've been waiting ages for the Escort Mission

@dynad00d15 7 лет назад

i love Escort Missions.. always hilarious.. now export them on VHS tapes so i can watch them please.

@claytonbeeney 7 лет назад

best dialog exchange of all the episodes

@yomama5656 7 лет назад

10/10 best acting

@bml2200 7 лет назад

About time there's a new episode

@danidagger5183 7 лет назад

Kiss him you fool!

@DuskyPredator 7 лет назад

But hadn't the police been called several times before? At least I thought that was something I read in it.

@VegasViking420 5 лет назад

Screw calling the local donutmunchers, where's the damn National Guard?!?

@adamkoindustries88 7 лет назад

I freaking love the Escort Mission videos. Makes me feel like I am not the only "n00b" out there...

@ralynparkhill2753 7 лет назад

"We shouldn't even be here, man!"

@ryankelley6888 6 лет назад

"You're adorable when you're being stupid" this is confirmed right?

@darcybotterill 7 лет назад

Lol they didn't even get into the mansion of maniacs in the video

@solojones1138 7 лет назад

There's one flaw in this critique: that is a totally normal house for some parts of the rural south. I mean, has anyone else ever been there? Because I have.

@PhobosDynami 6 лет назад

I was a little stressed during a few parts of this game. I wanted to see my brother play it and jump like I know he would, but his gf was there at the time and he put on a brave face...plus she was crying enough the whole time for 3 people.

@ILuvKonata 7 лет назад

This was neat. I totally can't watch this game since it's far, far, far past my small threshold for scary (Even when the Game Grumps are playing!) so I'm glad at least they revealed the "well, turns out..." thing.. Stupid psychic mold thingie.... ..... evolved zombie ant fungus... Mushrooms are evil o-o

@theangryfinger5795 7 лет назад

not one mention of "What a mansion!" Not even an alt line like "What a shithole" for understanding of what I'm talking about ask your real dad Kojima

@qaaxz 7 лет назад

one car is sent to check it out get a warrant. if a swat team shows up for something that is just a art piece tht a hippie made would b a huge waste of resources

@the_openers_of_eyes8 7 лет назад

yeah, but, the email in question is a VIDEO OF HER, WHICH IS LIVING PROOF!!!

@tylerrichardson3034 7 лет назад

the_openers_of_eyes no, the e-mail was text only

@the_openers_of_eyes8 7 лет назад

T vampasta The video was attached

@tylerrichardson3034 7 лет назад

the_openers_of_eyes No, it wasn't. The video wasn't sent from the ship, you can see that in the VHS flashback. Even so, the video said forget all about her and don't find her whereas the e-mail gave him an address and told him to find him.

@xanderlowe1543 7 лет назад

The game actually makes a lot of sense if you subscribe to the "Ethan was Immediately Infected" theory. As in, the moment he either stepped into the Guest House, or when he was even approaching the Guest House. The mold was forcing him to subconsciously stay. This is why he didn't just break a window, swim through the swamp, or properly explain what was happening to the deputy. He didn't even realize.

@Trustworthy_McLegitimate 7 лет назад

oh... N00B is going to love Silent Hill 2...

@ryanzhu7269 7 лет назад

Lol all the guns in the south

@jacobstaten2366 7 лет назад

The sad thing is there are movies with dumber plots and I could see some of this happening in real life.

@Interdacted Год назад

Perks to not being wanted as a bf or husband. You never grow attached to someone enough to go to a random address with mutilated cow bones. XD

@thezerfer9860 7 лет назад

just give us a wedding already

@rickeyc208 7 лет назад

Micheal is on the dave chapple comedy special

@BeefHammer1 7 лет назад

Hey Cracked! I love this series. Next do Overwatch lol

@Leon-ec9ge 7 лет назад

First 3 resident evil games, the best games I've played, shit started to go down the drain after RE4

@jppover 7 лет назад

i love these escort missions video's keep em up!

@Negative_NBG 7 лет назад

I just found these videos, I like them so much lol

@jackjack121 7 лет назад

Wow, the one time a spoiler alert actually saved me. Planning on playing it this weekend lol.

@biohazard724 7 лет назад

jackjack121 stock up on diapers.

@KingRey. 7 лет назад

You don't even need a Spoiler Warning. The title literally lets you know that they will talk about the story.

@timothylewis2527 7 лет назад

I actually received an email from my cousin who passed away last March. I just assumed that he's back alive and doing well. No investigation, whatsoever.