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People-Pleasers Pile Up Unresolved Conflict  

Tim Fletcher
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Avoiding conflict by not 'rocking the boat' or through people-pleasing doesn't erase issues; instead, it can result in repressed conflicts and feelings that manifest as new conflicts later on. The healthiest way to address conflict is to acknowledge it is happening, notice the way it makes you feel, work through how to resolve it, and finally move forward with any new knowledge about what your experience has taught you. Sticking up for yourself and standing behind your decisions is one of the best ways to ensure you're understood, even if it difficult.
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10 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 40   
@tonightinareacode309
@tonightinareacode309 25 дней назад
When nobody cares what you say. When they twist your words to fit their narrative. When they tell you not to talk about certain subjects. How can you resolve anything?
@Maria.5482
@Maria.5482 25 дней назад
Thats how people pleasing are formed in childhood. We had no choice. But today if you are an adult CHOOSE DIFFERENT PEOPLE. I still live with my parents, im 25 years old and studying, but I learned to fill relational needs with trustwothy, mature and open people outside my house.
@Maria.5482
@Maria.5482 25 дней назад
PS.: they are hard to find. But dont give up and dont let the kind of people you described in your comment waste your time.
@briobarb8525
@briobarb8525 20 дней назад
I feel your frustrations...yet after 68 years of life and trying...good luck. They have to want to fix it too. 😮😢. They usually don't!!!
@sylviaduncan6663
@sylviaduncan6663 19 дней назад
They what a fight with you. They don't care to work any thing out all .they what you to feel bad that get off on it
@kurt6410
@kurt6410 24 дня назад
I wish I would have had this knowledge 30 years ago
@jodycasey6936
@jodycasey6936 25 дней назад
You can only resolve conflict with a narcissist or narcissistic family system by giving them what they say or doing what they want.
@Chibi_Sashi
@Chibi_Sashi 25 дней назад
This is 100% true. They don’t want to resolve anything, they want to win no matter what.
@HOLLYHOCKFLOWERS
@HOLLYHOCKFLOWERS 22 дня назад
And get out.
@jfdc8432
@jfdc8432 18 дней назад
That's not resolution - that's capitulation
@jfdc8432
@jfdc8432 18 дней назад
That's not resolution, that's capitulation. I grew up with a narcissist parent. I know the difference.
@Narnach
@Narnach 25 дней назад
Straight to the gut before I've even taken a sip of my coffee? That hurts. It's also accurate. The mental gymnastics I used to keep changing _me_ in order to accept other people as they are is exhausting and does not address frustrations, so they do pile up.
@Clevelandsteamer324
@Clevelandsteamer324 21 день назад
Read “no more Mr. Nice guy”
@Narnach
@Narnach 20 дней назад
@@Clevelandsteamer324 Thanks, I'll look it up!
@gember1382
@gember1382 19 дней назад
True. Scary but true. Trying to do it more and more and it gives more space.
@LadyJpraise2024unbound
@LadyJpraise2024unbound 24 дня назад
Lord help me
@deborahlincoln-strange622
@deborahlincoln-strange622 25 дней назад
Very true
@mariafemarquezdeguia4431
@mariafemarquezdeguia4431 23 дня назад
So true, Sir
@mimakate
@mimakate 25 дней назад
Absolutely ❤🙌🏻
@mariemonn6590
@mariemonn6590 23 дня назад
Yep, this is what cause the divorce..he just would not talk honestly because of his fear created from childhood with no realization he was still acting the same as a child and to cover up that fear he had to do something because he had no awareness of trauma brain and so his people pleasing eventually built resentment yet wouldn’t take any responsibility of what he was doing because he just couldn’t see it…and that’s okay…he wasn’t ready to evolve…learn what yo can ..and be of peace …if they want to go let them..they were never fully invested and committed any way..they’re just not ready…say Thank You for the lesson and I hope you have a good life.
@hazeloldham144
@hazeloldham144 7 дней назад
So true
@Jodes-y7b
@Jodes-y7b 24 дня назад
AMEN 🙏
@noremac0123456789
@noremac0123456789 12 дней назад
My ex boyfriend and I could never communicate. He would avoid anything uncomfortable and I was just too afraid.
@maximus0527
@maximus0527 25 дней назад
Which episode is this?
@danielleo6855
@danielleo6855 25 дней назад
It's linked at the bottom of the short
@jac1161
@jac1161 24 дня назад
somehow I was never the one they wanted to please......they pleased my abusers.
@jamesdiamond2302
@jamesdiamond2302 25 дней назад
Recognise people!!!!! Your looking at the Chuck Norris of psychology!!!! The Clapton of the smack down and Lennon of the bpd clown!!!! The nepolian of anti "tell me about your mother" crowd, who charge $200 an hour to string you along crowd!!!! Great love and respect and admiration from Australia mate 🤠💎.
@maximus0527
@maximus0527 25 дней назад
👏👏😆
@badmanskill1112
@badmanskill1112 25 дней назад
I got the clap once or maybe twice.
@josephbelisle5792
@josephbelisle5792 25 дней назад
Sorry, this isnfar from true. He does give a fair amount of good information but it's not healthy thinking you can deal with these issues with too little knowledge and without help. The topics he covers stems from events and conditions that push us to isolate. Every good trauma therapist will tell you that you have to learn to trust. A MHP helps you to trust people. Thinking you can fix this from videos is just more isolation.
@jamesdiamond2302
@jamesdiamond2302 25 дней назад
@@josephbelisle5792 I watch them with me missus mate!!!!
@jamesdiamond2302
@jamesdiamond2302 25 дней назад
@@josephbelisle5792 just joking, Tuesday nights I also do children's events💎
@kollettebryant3432
@kollettebryant3432 24 дня назад
Too oeactical... How do you resolve conflict when emotions are involved?!?!?
@jac1161
@jac1161 24 дня назад
by healing....retraining limbic system which gets dysregarulated. Comtrollimg self
@marthabergin9023
@marthabergin9023 24 дня назад
Very true
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