r/Treelaw "He Paid Me $600,000 For Cutting Down a Tree!" 

DONT MESS WITH TREES!

I’m The Lorax and I speak through the trees And the trees say, “ That’s gonna be 300k.”

Back in my EMT days, I had to treat and transport an arborist one time after a HUGE oak branch had been dropped on him. He had been called out by a guy because his neighbor had climbed his tree and started cutting branches off. While he was waiting for the police to show up, he was standing around yelling up to the guy when he cut through another branch and dropped it straight on top of the arborist. The whole time we were stabilizing his TWO BROKEN LEGS, he was still yelling at the neighbor. Thing is, he wasn't yelling about how the guy had injured him, he was furious that the guy had done damage to the tree. This continued right up to the moment when we closed the rig doors, after which he switched to complaining that he wasn't going to be able to protect the trees from a wheelchair. TLDR: With two freshly broken legs from a tree falling on him, arborist is only screaming about the tree being damaged. Can confirm, all arborists are the treehugging version of The Punisher.

Yes im an arborist. And yeah trees (especially older ot historic ones) ALWAYS take precedence. To hell with turf and shrubs if they're creating environmental conditions detrimental to the tree

The ivy story really cracked me up 😂😂😂 we need more people like machete man in the world... Save the trees!!!

"Crying and begging as she strips down in front of me" Didn't expect to hear that from the pg rSlash...

I am an arborist in Atlanta Georgia. Yes Ivy is the bane of our existence. It kills beautiful trees and makes it exceptionally difficult when you need to climb for pruning or removal. Please keep Ivy off your trees!

City Arborist, when translated into D&D means a Druid of 8th level or higher. For those who don't play, let's just say they are *powerful people*. And they can probably shapeshift.

I'm close friends with an arborist. I can confirm they are crazy for trees. I've actually watched her take one of those propane weed killer/flamethrower things and scorch nearly an entire yard to clear it of any form of vine plant that was too close to the tree for her liking. Note: She wasn't being paid, she was just concerned that the "darling red maple" might become "ensared in that evil tangle of nastiness." Yes, she's weird. But she's also one of my oldest friends.

Not an arborist but I'm a landscaper and can confirm that it is like being the terminator when dealing with invasive ivys.

"I have to ignore her crying and begging, as she stripped Infront of me" A quote with no reference

In the diagram the neighbor is yelling, "BAH HUMBUG!" Out their window. That is hilarious! Why aren't we talking about that?

"Ok, I've got my food. Ooh, an r/Treelaw video, I'll watch this while I eat." *First story finishes* ... i'm not hungry... "At least the story has finished" rSlash: "This is what deer repellent smells like!" "OH FOR GODS SAKE!!"

can't they just get the sapling, replant it and use bonemeal???

I'm an arborist and first of all I love these tree law videos, please make more! And secondly yes there are some of us that are exactly like that guy with the machete 😅

I do love the tree law stories. They give me a warm feeling of justice served.

The smelliest thing I’ve ever encountered was just a week ago. I was delivering a package to this ladies house. I could smell it as soon as I was 50ft from the door. Then she opened the door and like a wave of it came at me. I felt it hit my face. I honestly can’t describe how bad it was because I’ve never been so repulsed. Luckily she closed the door pretty quick.

_rSlash:_ "Hehe. I ignored her crying and begging as she stripped down in front of me." _RU-vid:_ *demonitized* _FBI:_ *KNOCK! KNOCK!* "OPEN UP!!!"

I love r/Tree Law! I particularly like the mental image of the machete-wielding arborist, furiously hacking at the ivy.

Arborists: my work is not personal But this dose put a machete in my hand and a smile on my face

Someone: "Why is rSlash your favourite reddit youtuber?" Me: 1. He actually sounds excited when he reads these stories. 2. He's willing to try and find the best, juiciest content out there. 3. Y U G O

"I am the Lorax, and I speak for the trees...." *_Pulls out machete_* *"So don't mess with my oaks"*

"So I just have to ignore the crying and begging as she strips down in front of me." ...Yup. Context be important xD

I fear no man But that Thing It Scares Me *Fox Urine*

Yesss! More treelaw!! Edit: Irish Spring soap makes great deer repellent, and it makes your yard smell nice too.

"Treated the trees with Fox piss" 'We knew, but didnt think anything of it' *It was at this moment that knasty99 knew, they effed up*

RSlash: "I wouldn't spray fox urine on my worst enemy" Me: "Never say 'never', my friend"

My father let some guy claiming to be with the city cut down the massive oak at the edge of his yard, because "it was too close to the road". It was 40 feet up from the road, on a hill. I feel more bad for the tree than my father. Seems like karma would take something worth so much from a man so horrible. May that perfectly symmetrical oak RIP 😥

The most smelly thing I’ve ever encountered was my cousin after being sprayed three times by a skunk and it was so bad I puked when he was like 30 ft away. Love ur vids rslash I watch every day have a good day

I am the Lorax I speak for the trees The trees say "You are gonna regret cutting us down"

Rslash: *switchs to light mode* Midnight watchers: you are the enemy of the people

I LOVE these tree law videos. Thanks to watching them my husband had finally decided to leave my trees alone after he found out how much they are worth. We have 5 Water Oaks in our yard. It's one of the reasons I loved this house when we bought it.

I am the Lorax I speak for the trees If u cut ‘em down Imma break your f**king knees Edit:1: Spell correction

You say “arborist” I say “The love child of the Lorax and a Druid”

"And pulled a machete out of the back of his truck" America

Homemade coyote bait. My grandfather's creation. (Keep in mind, this is from another time when you did what you wanted with animals) Stray cat meat Urine from its bladder Chicken And you let that shit sit.. in a jar.. for as long as you want. It's technically still sitting in a jar in that old house...

Already know this will be good

Cut down someone’s tree? Tree man is coming for you!

My husband's gym bag and lifting gloves. I'm telling you... After an hour of lifting with those gloves on, it's like the material merges with the sweat and creates a toxic bio weapon. They get washed in the garage... Where his gym bag lives.

Thanks so much for making these videos rSlash. I play one, then get some work done. It makes my work kind of enjoyable.

R/treelaw isn't common, but when it comes, r/nuclearrevenge isn't as brutal!

"i had to ignore her crying an begging as she stripped down in front of me" watch our r/slash! the police is at the door

As a landscaper myself, Ivy, bittersweet, grapevine etc are the worst because no matter how much you chop it down it always returns unless you cut the roots or pull them away entirely. Here in Massachusetts the law is that if its on your property you have the right to cut whatever is hanging over because its "yours" per se.

Honestly, this is the last episode I would ever expect a personal story, but it was definitely worth the listen. Funny and informing for sure!

Wtf? I didn't notice that i wasn't subbed to rSlash. The videos are always in my recommended vids😂

8:46 my mum was an Arborist, I can confirm

Is nobody going to talk about rSlash's significant other after he mentioned it for the second time!!?

I absolutely LOVE TREE LAW VIDEOS! Keep up the good work buddy!

Old man : so you're here to cut my tree? Me: yes *5 hours later* Here's $600k Tf!

OP: hey I’ve got an ivy problem R/legaladvice: don’t worry, I know a guy

I'm the "plant" guy for an outdoor construction company and that Ivy story resonated. I'd imagine it's like an IT coming out to repair someone's computer to find everything capable of being tangled, has indeed been tangles; and dirty. Ivy sucks

My first post here, I hope you'll bear with me. This happened a few years ago, in my native Greece. I've almost forgotten what movie I went to watch but I'm almost certain it was the first Andrew Garfield Spider-man because I know I saw that one twice. Now, I'm pretty good at ignoring any shenanigans happening in movie theaters, and annoying children and talkative people aside, I haven't experienced anything particularly outlandish. Until this. There's one mall in Athens (called, The Mall Athens -- imaginative naming just isn't a Greek forte), which combines a pretty massive shopping complex with a 15-screen movie theater hall and a decent food court. It's a nice place to hang out. I had work the next day so I figured, I'd do an early screening and get home before it got too late. The hall wasn't very crowded, which is always nice; my designated seat was towards the back, picked for my eyesight issues. As the seats filled up, I was still pretty much by myself, and I had some popcorn and a soda so I expected a pretty relaxed evening with a good movie. While the pre-movie ads were running, I checked a sudden text I got from one of my students regarding an upcoming test, before I shut off my phone. I don't care about fiddling with my phone in the cinema but I take my students' requests pretty seriously, so I took a moment to reply. That's why I wasn't paying attention much when SHE showed up. A mother (whom I would come to identify as a Greek variant of a 'Karen') came down the isle with a kid about 12 years old, I think. I specifically remember the moment she came into the hall because she had one of those charm bracelets on that make really obnoxious jingling noises when you move your wrist and I caught myself thinking: "Oh heck, she's going to jingle all the way through the film." I watched her stop halfway down the isle with the kid, scan the seats in a weirdly careful way... and then she brightened up the moment she saw me, a single female siting alone vaguely towards the back. She scurried over and before I know it, she plopped the kid into a seat next to me, shoved a large box of popcorn in his lap and pushed two shopping bags under his seat (I think one of them was from a pretty expensive local brand or Zara, I can't recall, but man, they were stuffed!). Then she looks me dead in the eye and says: "Hello! I have some shopping to do and I can't drag him around with me. He really wants to see this film! Would you awfully mind keeping an eye on him? You can share popcorn!" I want to clarify that I'm an introvert who isn't a fan of confrontation but I'm not a pushover. I kind of stared blankly at her because what she was saying made no sense to me at all -- and it didn't matter because she didn't even WAIT for my answer. She just turned to leave, somehow certain in her mind that my stunned silence meant consent to this zany idea. The poor kid just stared at me with the kind of face that said he'd been through this before but he wasn't happy about it. He looked pretty mortified. I managed to gather my wits and stop her as she left. Me: Lady, I'm not your babysitter and this cinema isn't your babysitter either. You can't just leave him here. EP: But you're sitting there by yourself, what's the harm? Me: I came here to watch a movie in peace, not look after your child. EP: You won't even need to do anything, just sit there till the movie ends. (At this point she repeatedly tries to leave like nothing's happening) Me: You're leaving a minor with a total stranger, I can't accept responsibility for this. What if I was some kind of disturbed person? Why are you so trusting? EP: Oh my god, what is your problem? I'm in a real hurry here. Me: M'am you're asking a total stranger to look after your child! That's my problem! How did you even get in here without a ticket? EP: I do have a ticket, I just have better things to do than watch a kids' movie. Me: This... isn't even a kids movie, how old is your kid? EP: (she starts gettin' real defensive here) I don't see how that's any of your business, he's old enough. Me: So if he's old enough why are you asking me to look after him? EP: He still needs supervision. Me: Which, again, is not my responsibility! By this time the ad reels are over and the movie is about to start. I see I'm getting nowhere with this certifiable loon and I am very stressed out by now so I decide to bail. She actually managed to put me off so damn much that I disregarded the ticket price and the snacks' price I paid and walked on outta there without seeing the movie and there would be no refund. She didn't follow me but she did call me a "fat b*tch" as I left the hall. I regret not calling the police, what she was doing may not have been illegal per se but ditching her kid with a random stranger sounds shady as hell and I wish I'd had the presence of mind to do something. I feel so sorry for that poor boy. She looked so eager to just dump him onto someone else for the evening. Not only was it a terrible imposition for me, it was dangerous! She had no way of knowing I was a safe person or not. I could've sat with him through the movie but that woman just rattled me so badly I wanted to vanish.

New Rslash video *clicks* First story : *light mode* ......*clicks off*

FRICK ENTITLED PARENTS FRICK CHOOSING BEGGERS FRICK PRO REVENGE I ONLY WANT TREES

"I ignored her crying and begging as she stripped down in front of me" This is why context is important.

My dad makes his own deer repellent and it smells even worse than the stuff from the hardware store. I call it "wife-and-daughter-repellent" lol

rSlash is the best Reddit channel, according to court documents.

Right from the beginning. Foxes have a very potent urine smell. At close distance it smells almost exactly like skunk spray. Let that sink in. If you have ever smelled a roadkill skunk, you will get a pretty good idea of what fox urine smells like.

:This stuff stinks so bad I wouldn't use on my worst enemy :Nuclear Revenge has entered the chat.

8.5 millions USD? For a farmstead plot with protected land? I'm imagining they bought it for way under a million and ignoring the obligation that came with it and made it cheap in the first place. Thinking "We own it now we can do what we want!" They generally want to encourage owners that can cultivate and/or maintain the area, its suppose to be cheap for them not people wanting to build compounds or raise a hill full of condos. Though I live in Norway and we're a bit peculiar in how we handle it, but I can't imagine the same issues is that much different anywhere else.

I seriously want a book on this Hermit Druid: Warrior of the Trees

This is why you shouldn’t keep foxes as pets. They make your home smell horrible. As adorable as they are, don’t get them if you want to keep your home smelling good.

rSlash's SO: Please let me in! rSlash: The hardest choices require the strongest wills

Love that he said “ I watched her strip while she was crying” I literally died laughing

* foams at the mouth* TREEE LAWWWW!!!!! So excited > : D

rSLASH without you posting vids about tree law I woudn't know about the best thing in the world, so thanks for adding new subjects every so often and just making vids.

I'm a simple girl. I see a r/treelaw video by rSlash, I click.

Ive watched and rewatched the tree law videos over and over and over. They crack me tf up.

I've been waiting for Trees episode :D THANK YOU!

Legend has it if you type “EntitledParent” rslash will reply

“So I just have to ignore her crying and begging as she strips down in front of me.” -rSlash, 2019

If I was rslash I would say: “welcome to r/treelaw, where money actually does grow on trees”.

I have been waiting for this r/treelaw for a long time and its finally here!

Yes! Tree Law is back!

Tree law is like natures way of saying “bye bye”

Worst thing about your Deer Repellent story is that you're supposed to spray is around the premise of the area you don't want them, not the area itself. Depending on how much she used, she's not getting any nice smells from her garden for a long while.

From the description of the damage, 500K seems really low.

The thing is I really like foxes and while learning about them I read that their urine smells bad (near skunk level) ... That il do ya!

you really know you have no power when a TREE gets revenge on you...

Thank you rslash. I needed this fix on my birthday. You are the man!

I wish *I* could get that much money out of a tree. *A tree!*

rSlash: I actually have my own story about fox pee. Dude, who doesn't?

As I understand it in the UK, you're legally entitled to cut off any neighbour's plant that intrudes into your property. You can only cut it level with the boundary, and you're legally required to put the cut pieces back over the fence, as they're the neighbour's property. NFI what's legal anywhere else, but if the neighbour's property is invading your personal space, I'd imagine you'd have a good case

I have arborists in my immediate family. I can safely say that none of them are The Punisher for plants. They mostly sit in an office while people complain that they won't cut trees, or complain when they do cut trees

- I just had to ignore her crying and begging while she stripped down in front of me. Best quote of the day!

I *WOOD* hate to have to pay the tree tax. I might have to *LEAVE* my dreams behind just to pay the tax Haha... I love tree puns

my late father was an arborist. let me say, they're all just Like That. that arborist's reaction to the ivy reminded me of my dad in the best way. thank you.

My question about treating the trees with that fox pee... What did they do when winter started to end and days began to warm up? Wouldn't the campus start to smell bad?

YAAAAAAAAAAAAS TREE LAW!!!! I never thought I would be excited about that XD

I work in Emergency Medical Services. Last week we had a patient who has layed in her own poop for almost 3 weeks. There were flies, cocoons and Maggots everywhere in her flesh (she was still alive by the way), and about 20% of her skin was necrotic. My partner was brave enough to cut up her pants and that was the point where I puked my guts out. The worst Part: The next Hospital was 30 Minutes away.

I was picturing Machete as the arborist chopping up all the ivy & whispering sweet nothings to that oak, "Don't worry baby, I got you, this guy don't treat you right, I can take you away from all this." My brain is fucking weird

The first story just reminded me of the Grinch "The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote: Stink, Stank, Stunk."

Bout to go do a degree in forest management ayy lmao

Yesssssssss! Tree law! Man, that last couple was just awful. :/ But the fox urine dudes... man oh man... I just got my idea for revenge.

Quick note to anyone curious: Machetes are commonly used to cut thin plants, such as poison ivy, poison oak, literally any other small plant that's not that small and needs to be gone, thin branched bushes, dead tree limbs... et cetera. (My father owns a lawn care business, that's how I know this if you were wondering)

The Battle of the Giants: A giant ivy Vs A 100 year old oak tree

5:56 I can somehow feel a r/nuclearrevenge using fox urine coming.... xD

Yeeeeah treelaw has returned!!! (Also, got to the video before the notif appeared)

I'm imagining that arborist had such a love for trees, that ivy on trees is a personal offense to him.

I love people who knowingly commit a crime and then are surprised when the consequences catch up with them: