Reflective Listening Skills in 3 Key Steps

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Learn reflective listening skills and practice in real-time right along with me in 3 easy steps. Learn key reflective listening phrases and progress from easy to medium and advanced role-play scenarios.
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Опубликовано:

6 мар 2023

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Комментарии : 82

@alexanderlyon Год назад

Free pdf on the 5 Essential Communication Skills for Professionals: www.alexanderlyon.com/free-resources

@viniciusgmachado1204 Год назад

Thanks for the PDF, Alex!

@gatluakchuollual5155 Год назад

great teacher ever

@mantshadiwaqas6074 9 месяцев назад

Thank you once again for the PDF that is very useful for my studies in Christian counseling. God bless you Alex

@bamideledaniel2993 4 месяца назад

great

@dameanvil Год назад

1. listen carefully to understand the other person 2. make a reflective statement 3. go back to pure listening mode and let them respond

@HerrWeberMFT 5 месяцев назад

As a therapist, this is an essential tool in our toolbelt that can make or break a client/therapist therapeutic alliance. It allows us therapists to genuinely hear and validate the person, while taking mental notes, and later summarize some key statements or themes clients express. This later summary significantly improves the therapeutic alliance, with clients often saying "I don't even remember saying that." This is important because it lets the client know you have indeed been paying attention, they feel like you know them well, and helps them understand what they've said with greater clarity, which often then leads to greater confidence in their own ability to make decisions.

@alexanderlyon 5 месяцев назад

Thank you for sharing your perspective. I appreciate it.

@HerrWeberMFT 5 месяцев назад

@@alexanderlyon Thank you for your videos! They are clear and concise, and the production level is professional. I am sending some of your videos to clients, especially couples whom I used Emotionally Focused Therapy and Gottman method interventions with. More often than not, it is not what you fight about but how you fight during conflict.

@NurembergSwampWater 7 месяцев назад

I was a toxic player in a short lived friendship and one of the things I've walked away with is learning that I need to listen. Even now I always try to relate to the other person and take the spotlight of them with my own experience. Then I've got a problem solving mode and sometimes someone is just trying to vent and not expect a fix.

@HerrWeberMFT 2 месяца назад

I strongly recommend checking out a video called "It's Not About The Nail." It is a quick video that really captures the difference between 'fixing' a problem and simply 'listening' to someone's experience. In psychology, and in life, you have 3 main domains: cognitive (thinking/thoughts), behavioral (physical actions), and experiential (feelings, emotions). Advice unwarranted will always be received as criticism. Good on you for learning to be humble and accept personal responsibility. Your life will significantly improve, including those around you. Wishing you a blessed journey; thanks for sharing your story.

@tatyanaalexandra3199 Год назад

Amazing video. I value reflective listeners but struggle being a reflective listener myself. Typically go into problem solving mode 😅 not listening mode 🙈. Thank you for this break down and insight!

@michaelvrchota4089 Год назад

These techniques work well for me on a professional basis when working wmy peers. Reflective listening allows me to make certain that what I hearing is what the person is trying to communicate. Accuracy is confirmed by the exchange and builds understanding.

@alexanderlyon Год назад

Thanks for sharing, Michael.

@NevadaRaider 11 месяцев назад

Perfect! Starting a new sales career, and this is critical to connect deeply with my customers! thx!

@sherryperkins1323 Год назад

Very helpful! It also helps me be better able to communicate to my counselor, and helps me to understand her responses.

@user-kn5ls7jp4f 6 месяцев назад

This was SUPER helpful, thank you! and I appreciate the emotion wheel resource!

@brendagraham8611 Год назад

What I do, is parrot back some words of what the other person is saying, mainly to help me stay focus on what they are saying & to stay present in the conversation! Brenda from NZ

@mantshadiwaqas6074 9 месяцев назад

Thank you very much. I really appreciate it 🙏

@srinivas_xt Год назад

Thanks sir.... This was helpful 👍

@maryannvangor9132 4 месяца назад

Thank you for these videos!

@TheEclipsePoint Год назад

This is a super helpful video. I'm guilty of trying to give advice or offering my own experiences to show I understand how they feel. However, I've come to learn that it isn't always helpful for people and I want to work on being a better listener.

@alexanderlyon Год назад

I have the exact same struggles. I find that if I wait long enough, there's usually a natural way to share what I have to offer as well. I work on patience and that helps.

@cosminnina1604 26 дней назад

Thank you for your videos. I've learned that I have a lot to learn, thank you again.

@rickwalkertx Год назад

Alex - thanks so much for your work. Rick

@msjoysplace Год назад

I found that as I was listening to the 3 practice scenarios that my face said way more than my voice was able to. Further, I realized that I have leaned on my very expressive face to do a lot of speaking for me in the past. I know that words are powerful and important and that facial expression won't help on a phone call, so I will step up my game and practice with words. Thank you for this reminder and help!

@alexanderlyon Год назад

Thanks for sharing.

@benjielatayada9774 Год назад

this is so helpful to me.

@fukfit Год назад

Thank you for adding Turkish subtitles to your videos, you are very helpful for my personal development.

@alexanderlyon Год назад

Happy to help!

@mdoyle0495 8 месяцев назад

This actually helped me ALOT

@leanobusi3523 Год назад

Thank you for the videos, they are clear and practical.I just discovered your channel today,am looking forward to learning more from you, sir. Polished presentation skills.

@alexanderlyon Год назад

Welcome aboard, Leano.

@hillary694 Год назад

Thanks! I needed this video. In my role its extremely hard to not give advice. I wrote down a lot as I watched this video and look forward to practicing this soon with key individuals on my team.

@alexanderlyon Год назад

I hear you, Hillary. When I was a supervisor, I was constantly in problem-solving mode. It's hard to slow down and just listen.

@leoispoop Год назад

It can be hard to not jump into advising but following this new reflective listening technique is promising.

@johndenver5015 Год назад

I didn't say this in my earlier comment so I will say it now you're videos reallly does help me with being a better person. Sometimes I realize I am more rigid than I would like to be. And the need for patience towards other people.

@alexanderlyon Год назад

Thanks for following up.

@starblazers01 Год назад

Thank you for reconfirming & enhancing my listening skills. 🙏

@alexanderlyon Год назад

Thanks for listening!

@newlifecalling2233 Год назад

I really needed this. I did wonderfully with your 3 practice sentences but...in real life I am such a fixer. I will make a point to focus and reflect instead of focus and fix. Thank you!

@alexanderlyon Год назад

You've got this!

@skionen1781 6 месяцев назад

Excellent stuff

@andreciagl Месяц назад

This was good!

@sandysmith3597 Год назад

I love your videos. Thank you

@alexanderlyon Год назад

Thank you, Sandy.

@viniciusgmachado1204 Год назад

@Communication Coach Alexander Lyon Thank you for the video, Alex. How are you doing today?

@alexanderlyon Год назад

Hi, Vinny.

@pattiel1108 9 месяцев назад

Good tips. What about when the other person continually hears something you didn't say? This is a big problem with my adult son and I. He swears I said something when I said something else. What techniques can we use to correct this? It's a huge problem and causing a lot of conflict. Thank you!

@ProfessionalBlueprints Год назад

Great video!

@alexanderlyon Год назад

Hi, Daniel. Thank you.

@Toggy287 7 месяцев назад

Im understanding this as 'safe communication'

@viclucyzia Год назад

Mr. Lyon could you kindly give some tips regarding how to learn to maintain eye contact more than 2 seconds. I really struggle keeping eye contact even during online conversations when someone is looking at me. I know I lack confidence but how can you learn it? And also how do you learn to smile when talking? I don't smile and I always hear people saying smile more. But its a hard thing to do like a strenuous work out. You have a wonderful appealing smile when you talk.

@alexanderlyon Год назад

A lot of it comes down to practicing. At some point, more advice won't make a positive difference. I recommend stretching yourself and setting some goals. Aim for 3 seconds of eye contact and try that for a couple days. Then stretch yourself to 4 seconds, etc. The same with smiling. I don't tend to give advice on smiling but if that's a goal for you, then practice doing it authentically in conversations.

@legendary550 Год назад

Hello, Alex I really wanna thank you so much for making these awesome videos And I really hope that you start searching more about Islam and really think about it You'll find the purpose of this life and its totally life changing

@alexanderlyon Год назад

Hi, thanks for writing. I'm a committed Christian. Jesus is the Lord of my life.

@nonenothing8648 6 месяцев назад

I am a terrible communicator. I should have watched this kind of channels long ago. Hope I am not too late. Btw, I have caused so much damage because I was not good at communicating. Thank you for your help

@simonflyboy Год назад

I'm a Fixer! Thankyou for that 🙏

@alexanderlyon Год назад

Me too unless I stop myself.

@maryannngugi3695 Год назад

scenario one, sounds like someone who has been giving quite a lot, but seems like they have been wearied by this continuous working, scene 2: it looks like it's a little difficult to come up with a decision, scene 3 it sounds like you're both excited and anxious

@alexanderlyon Год назад

Well done!

@bellastone-le9eb 8 месяцев назад

So what I hear you saying is.....the basis of good listening is selflessness?

@johndenver5015 Год назад

Hello coach. I'm about halfway through the video. I. May need help or a better understanding. When I hear a statement when I am talking really annoys me. I don't know why I think this way. I don't know if it comes from bad experience or something else. I take it like they're trying to tell me how to feel. I like questions to help me understand what I am feeling. Maybe it's the attitude of the way it is asserted. Maybe I've been around forceful people to long. I see it as being probed for condemnation and not as genuine concern.

@paulstejskal Год назад

What annoys you exactly? Do you have an example?

@johndenver5015 Год назад

LoL.... this video proves the importance of listening first then to respond.. thanks coach.

@dominicsoore8967 Месяц назад

❤

@sarah_56765 9 месяцев назад

Please forgive me, but I might be confused. Initially, I decided to watch this video because I thought it would help me be a better listener in communicating with people like friends, coworkers, acquaintances. But you did mention towards the beginning of the video that people who typically use reflective listening skills are therapists and coaches. So is this geared more towards them and not meant as a practice when communicating with friends? I’m curious because unfortunately, I do tend to be a fixer, and I’m concerned that maybe I’ve been offering unwanted advice. But are we really just meant to sit around and complain and commiserate about the unhappy events in our lives and NOT try to help each other or find solutions? I just want to understand, because I do actually want advice on the things in my life I’m struggling with. Am I the only one who wants help or advice? Like I said, I think I’m confused. 🤦‍♀️

@alexanderlyon 9 месяцев назад

Reflective listening is one type of listening. It is used in friendships as well. It just has its roots in therapy. As far as fixing things, I always find the best approach is to ask people if they want advice before I offer it. And if you want advice from others, then ask for it.

@LouiSwagula 7 месяцев назад

Anyone else with autism watching this?

@xxraptorrexx2083 2 месяца назад

ADHD 🙋🏾

@gregoryfridman5680 2 месяца назад

autism. got a gf so i gotta study this shit lmao

@Vextrove Месяц назад

@kathleen1685 Год назад

Those reflective statements sound clinical, like you are playing therapist. They sound disingenuous.

@TheLookingGlassAU Год назад

Everybody says that when they hear it, you practice it over and over and it can become reassuring to the speaker that you're really listening

@yolandatavarez4348 Год назад

My customer service team practices reflective listening to help deescalate irate customers and it proves to be very beneficial

@Amazingnordicviews Год назад

That skill is something extrodinary. Most powerful tool in the world for human beings in todays world

@alexanderlyon Год назад

As mentioned, these are just suggested starting places. I always encourage people to put it in their own words in ways that sound authentic to you personally.

@kathleen1685 Год назад

@@alexanderlyon OK, so say the same thing in my own vernacular. My concern is that they person confiding would be offended that the listener was trying to control the conversation by implementing a bit of condescending phrases.