She Explains Why She Doesn't Date Asian Men And This Happened 

Not wanting to date Asian men for her personal issues, it’s a bleak reminder of how easily people can generalize and perpetuate stereotypes even when it’s within their own community. They turn personal struggles into collective judgement which makes genuine connections seem so rare.

From my observation, asian men has always minded their own business. Yet people (particularly, their own women) be talking mad shit about them in every form of media. Are asian men not allowed to defend themselves?

Everyone has racial preferences but to be racist against your own race is a huge red flag

All non Asian men: please take her it's no big loss in the AA community.

Date who you want. Nobody cares. Just don’t perpetuate negative stereotypes about us so that the mainstream population continues to step on us when we’re down. And you’re suppose to be our sisters.

The way she speaks and the ring on her nose is already a red flag. 😂

I'm not going to discredit her experience and trauma she endured growing up. However, her rant is full of racism and stereotypes towards Asian men. Unbelievable that she treats and views all Asian men the same as her dad and brother. For her to claim that some non-Asian men aren't toxic is laughable. There are toxic people in every ethnic group.

Damn………… Someone that isn’t Asian CHECKED her.

Self-hate and throwing your own community will always be goofy.

The contrary opinion about that girl's belief is that: are Asian-American women w/ Asian men not brought up in the same form of Confucianist (which based on her stance, can be viewed as archaic and toxic) household as she was? Like the man who replied to her, I think she's not giving other Asian-American men the benefit of the doubt- especially the ones who were raised here and have a more Westernized view on male-female dynamics and gender roles. She's also ignoring the fact that an overwhelming amount of Asian women who date outside of their race only go for White men compared to Latino, Black, South Asian, Middle Eastern/ North African men. Next, she ignores other Southeast Asian people like Filipinas who also date White men but most likely aren't brought up in a Confucian household. Her argument also fails to make sense of how other non-East Asian cultures prioritize the roles of men in society over women and yet their women aren't speaking ill of their culture and blaming it as the reason why they don't date men of their culture. Last, at least Asian men place some of the blame on colonialism and Western media and how its portrayals of Asian men are harmful in the dating world. Here, she's just blaming Asian culture.

I think the number one thing wrong with her argument is that she makes a blanket assumption that every asian guy is confucianist.

I'm a 52yo Asian man and I have heard it all. From my experience, most Asian women who say "I don't date Asian men" actually mean to say "I want to date white men".

I don't listen to anyone under 25, all they bring to the table is zero real life experience and childhood trauma.

It isn't Confucionism - sexism & filial responsibility exist in every culture. I'm a BW w/ an AM husband. He's pretty traditional, but we figured out our own path. It isn't about the group, it's about the individual & she will have to learn that.

See not all Asian are smart 😂 she is a perfect example 😂

I am sick of these Lus throwing asian men under the bus. Just becuase media portray us in form of Mr. Chow does not give you the right to throw us under the bus.

the most western lookin asian woman and the way she speaks

her perspective genuinely annoys me - the way you you were raised has nothing to do with the race. I'm Asian but hell nah i was raised the same as you were. I love Asian people and other races too who are kind, fun, and respectful. sis, it's just you. period.

0:16 There is a FULL spectrum of Asian men, so her premise is already wrong. I'm 100% sure she can find and date an Asian man with the exact personality, upbringing, etc as, say, the white man that she prefers to date, EXCEPT for the ethnicity itself which she evidently despises. Shame.

that dude said straight up facts

Yo, respek to that dude's response to that girls' video

I just found it fascinating that this Carol lady put out a public TikTok video, denouncing all Asian men and she didn't expect any push back from that? She couldn't take the heat from the comment section, so she went private? That just shows me how insecure she is and her lack of conviction for her own beliefs. If you have a strong opinion about something, you should stand-up for them and defend them. It really looks like she said what she said and now she went into hiding.

Here is what she conveniently left out. She said her brother was treated "better" but did not mention the enormous pressure Asian sons have to take care of their parents because they are the ones who carry on the family legacy (passing on the family surname) whereas the daughters are free from that family obligation. Because the woman will take on her husband's family surname and get absorbed into his family. That is the typical Asian traditional family way. By the way, patriarchism is in nearly every society, including here in America.

She obviously didn't have a good home life growing up. Maybe her parents were one of those who were really obvious with their bias towards their son and neglected their daughter. I also personally never felt that Asian girls only dated white guys and refused to date Asian guys because I grew up with a bunch of Asians who mostly dated other Asians, but I guess if you're on the internet a lot it certainly makes you feels that way.

The septum ring is unattractive.

the nose ring speaks everything...

One look at her nose ring and the way she talks, I can see drama and trauma coming ten feet away.

I’m Cambodian and my friend group since high school has been mostly Asian but other ethnicities too still in our group like white black punjabi Mexican etc I talked to my friends growing up and it is very common and it happened with myself where an older sister beats you up until you’re able to fight back My mom hit me way more than my dad ever did and I’ve heard this before too My older sister got way more wealth thrown at her because she was the oldest, and how she wanted to live with life was with a college degree that required one of the lowest GPA’s and wants to just marry a rich white man (she’s still single at 33) My parents also stopped calling her out for being a bully because girls need to always be protected There are plenty of cases where asian women are heavily favored over the boys in the family. I think because they live in America the parents put more effort into than people give them credit for which is even at the cost of Asian sons to some extent. I get growing up with resentment with Asian culture for sure. Cambodians are extremely notorious for hitting their kids way too hard among other things. Asian men don’t try to bring down Asian women nearly as much as they do to us

What I take from this is that maybe Non Asian guys should watch out for Asian girls dealing with Confucius daddy issues.

Genuinely feel sorry for any kids she may end up having, especially any boys. All that "trauma" and internalized racism is gonna get passed down to them for sure.

In my opinion. The reason she gives , the same reasons almost every person gives, who's dating out of their race. They don't want to deal with certain oppressive or manipulative aspects of the culture they grew up in. I'm not referring to abusiveness, but traditional and cultural trends. Such as women knowing their place. Or families wanting a marriage based on skin color or finance. "Just a thought."

Love the way she tries to preemptively cut off any criticism, saying, "It's the way you act including the way you're acting right now responding to this video". She knew was stirring the pot with making blanket generalizations like that, so she's trying to pull the ol' "If you disagree, you're proving me right" BS. It's fair, if she doesn't want to date someone she thinks is raised like her family, but her fault is in thinking ALL Asian men, which comprises numerous cultures, are raised the same way. /facepalm

Bros - I would love to see you guys have that girl on your show. It would be an interesting conversation to say the least.

First time I heard an Asian woman blame Asian dads was on a blog about the "balloon boy" incident. Although balloon boy's dad is whyte and with no background on the grandparents (Japanese mom's side), the blog singled out the unknown father of the Japanese mom and broadly Asian dads and Confucianism for the mom's seemingly weak status in her mixed family despite her participation in the deception. The entire essay began with the mom in the crossfire of the deception and concluded with Asian dads being the cause. Truly eye opening.

Hi. I want to give a sociological take since this topic really can not be explained in one video or a comment. But what I would love everyone to understand is the concept of Media Privilege. For example how white men are constantly shown with ethnic women in the media but not surprisingly the reverse (ethic men with white women and more commonly in these times are not even to be shown with even with their own ethnic type). Like ethnic Latino/arabic/Asian etc men of all types are totally cucked in western media for the most part. It's either white or black men that are shown that can even have relationships in western media. Sure other ethnic men appear here and there but they definitely aren't portrayed to be real stars mostly. They're mostly fodder and are used to make white men look better. Like how white men are heroes in their ethnic stories and save the disenfranchised ethnic women from their bad or weak ethnic men. The white savior narrative these days is getting way too out of hand. Like yeah I know there are exceptions but ethnic guys in general are gate-kept in politics and media a lot. (Yes occasionally yes but really are just their to boost others) Like they have to be pretty exceptional to be in the big club while ethnic women can be absorbed and yes do their biddings. Honestly, men who lack media privilege can have their dating lives affected because even women of your own ethnic type are being programmed to see white men as the heroes, cool guy romantics, rich guys, etc I hope no one gets offended but I'm trying to just be real here and there are statistics and clear as day evidence (just watch any western media or just look at ads) of what I'm saying. Clear as day. Hidden in plain sight. My comment is just for discussion. I'm a mixed guy (I'm actually mostly Caucasian/white so I do know first hand that yes privileges are definitely real and people should have a right to know about different kinds of them. But yeah this one is pretty grand from my perspective. There's so many examples of what I want to specifically shed a spotlight on. But I do believe people are becoming more aware of things. Obviously, there actually are so many types of privileges that will help you attain the media privilege itself. But what is so true and is never talked about is how people in general benefit a lot just by simply not only being represented but being represented in the right or respectful way in the media. I can talk a lot about this for days since watching media/movies/etc has always given me a gateway on what to understand on what the dominant culture wants to see and not just what Hollyweird wants to put out. But yes, I have to be honest. According to the media, if you're not a white or black guy (who may had to do some Hollyweird stuff like wearing a dress like Kat William said) then as an other ethnic guy you don't really matter. But sure, all the women of all kinds can be a big star (supposedly) by being with their savior white man.

black dude was spittin

In order for you to truly like or 'love' someone else, or even for someone else to love you, first you'd have to find a way to love yourself. Self-hate is the most poisonous thing one can possess.

For all my Chinese sisters out there : A man who practice Confucianism is appealing. Don't be fast to glorify others while putting your own people down. Just because a man wants to sleep with you does not mean he loves you. A man can think very highly of you sexually, and yet at the same time regard you as lower/inferior to him, and that you not "high" enough as a wife material for him, simply because you have a different skin color than him.

Saying you don't want to date Asian men because of Confucianism is like saying you don't want to date white and Middle Eastern men because of the Abrahamic faiths. Is there certainly a subset with regressive views on gender roles? Yes. But that's not an excuse for lumping everyone into the same box. It is an illogical excuse that belies other reasons.

Andrew just looks like he's so done with this topic. lol

That nose piercing 💀

Yup! What he said is facts! Same goes for all men that are any race! Good real peoples is good peoples of any color. 🎉

I'm an Asian man, and my experience is that white, Latina, and black girls have been a lot more interested in me than Asian girls. It never bothered me, I barely noticed it until I thought about it, because it didn't really affect me.

I agree w/ the response. Gender aside, I had a toxic Asian grandfather & my mom’s similar to him. I always associated that more w/ their circumstances than some internal Asian specific thing. In social psychology we call that a “Fundamental Attribution Error.”

That response from the guy was extremely logical and the opposite of her idiotic rationale

Sociology is very complex, and it's cool to hear how these guys break down complex social and cultural topics with nuance and depth.

As a black man I'll admit that some of us do the same thing to black women and that needs to stop. So I understand if black women think this guy's opinion wasn't genuine because we have the same issue to deal with.

Self hate is a sad thing.

I could never trust a person who say they hate or exclusively don't date their own race. There';s something inherently sick ad unwell about that. It's, dare i say, unnatural.

1st red flag: Septum Piercing...............you already know you are getting a word salad of zero accountability, responsibility, blaming of others, and projection of insecurities bird babble.....

As soon as I saw the nose ring, I knew she was not the type you’d bring to meet mom 👍

She's saying that Asian society is male dominated....and treats women as second class citizens....

I have two thoughts to share. First I sympathize with her because I think this might be the only way she feels she can send this message to her family and to those in the community to protest their values. But my other point would be that male-centric values exist in ALL races and various subcultures. You have to look past the race and into the specific subculture or value system the individual grew up in.

I remember dating in the early 2000s when this issue was more prevalent. So many of my female friends never dated Asian men then -- and they were even more vocal back then how they don't Asian men. Things have somewhat improved now, thanks to Kpop and some Asian influence now on a global scale.

There are very specific term in Singapore... SPG (Sarong Party Girl) there is even a wiki entry on this term. 😅

Its fine. Im a Chinese guy and i lost interest in all asian women one day like a light switch flipped. I understand. To each their own.

The trauma is hanging from her nose. Did anybody notice it?

People blaming Confucianism, have they seen the inherent social structure within Christianity? The less said about Islam, the better.

She's assuming men from Asia wants the walking headache called Western women, and I mean women from the West, regardless of race.

I really wanna see one of these girls lay out their definition of "racism" and explain how what they're doing is different and then see the cognitive dissonance unfold lol

Her response was not about racism, it's about sexism. She is traumatized be the way men were prioritized in her culture, perspectively anyway. We need to listen and be more empathetic. Not taking away from asian male trauma.....she has her own trauma too.

This dude did an uno reverse card on that woke boba liberal 😂

I’m Chinese myself I notice a lot Chinese would give you the “ I don’t care “ statement anytime you address an issue It could be wm/af , AM being shit on on media , political climate we at , politics , etc ….. Not sure what it is. I notice it among my family , people I meet who are Chinese and even today the chinese hair stylist that cut my hair

Bull ring?!?!?! 🤡

I actually want more insight from the asian girls that don't want to date asian guys. So far it's just shallow reasons and they never respond back to people.

One thing I noticed is that, those AFs that tend to go for WMs aka Auntie Lus are considered not-so attractive for traditional Asian standards but they are rather considered more attractive for modern Western standards.

She did come in hot, while I understand that it is her personal feelings on the matter, I felt like her feelings is just deep rooted hate. Like I understand that the Asian men in your life wasn't great, but you have to give other Asian men a chance because often times shared experiences bring people closer together and that is something you can build off of.

I wish you had another person on here so I can hear both POV’s

LOL! "She was tweakin" Right you are!

It's about looking at personality, not by race.

I’m Asian and I have dated more Caucasian females compared to its Asian counterparts. I grew up in South Orange County so we were in our own world. Oh and I am a Millennial 🙃.

There're people in all Cultures who want date their own Culture..Being a bit racist against their own people is weird.

Wow. I didn’t even realize - Yes! It did feel like a campaign! Thank you HotPot Boys

She absolutely does not speak for all of us.

I say just check things thoroughly out case by case and then make up your mind.

The nose rings keeps reminding me of my neighbor’s cows and I can’t concentrate on what she is saying.

To boldly take self-loathing to places no man has gone before 😂

There is something wrong with that girl. Nose ring speed talking blinking just too much hate and privilege

That guy is smart as hell. I applaud that response!

"Tattoos and piercings were more common among individuals who reported childhood abuse and neglect." Just saying

2:30 I hope he takes his own advice in regards to women from his community. 💅🏾

Look at her nose ring.....!

In general there’s no denying that most Asian cultures have a history of gender preference and equality issues. So do many other cultures and races. Even in the USA, there are small parts of the country where white men still long for the days when the man wore the pants, made all majors decisions and never dreamed of having a female boss. Her personal experiences are real but she shouldn’t assume ALL Asian men are biased and have a male-centric mentality. I’m not sure if she’s aware but there’s a small gender “war” currently that includes many young white men who prefer “traditional women”. Probably the kind of “traditional women” her dad would approve of.

The black guy in the second tik tok video is on point because you can't blame and generalize all asian men because of your bad experience cause of what have you been through. Plus, I'm not gonna sh!t nor talk down on the girl because the trauma she has been throughout her life from her family. However, my interpretation from that tik tok video from her is probably that she want to send out a message to the asian community, especially those who come from toxic families who to protest their values & bias. Look, date who you wanna date, and it's okay to have a racial preference as long you are not bashing or talking down your own race.

If you didn't know, most therapists today are taught gynocentrism. The woman gets the benefit of the doubt, the man is wrong, the man is toxic, etc. Gynocentrism is a pillar in modern therapy. Remember that.

Asians are handsome ,their eyes❤

Keeping it real

I find it hilarious that a black man is trying to chastise AW for not wanting to date AM. A lot of BM don’t want to date BW. The self-hate amongst BM is almost as bad as with AW. 25% of BM date out and the black marriage rate is only 29%. Many BM need to work on their own internalized racism, colorism, texturism, etc before they say anything to AW or anyone else about self-hate!

men and women is always going to be raised differently no matter the race

I wonder what the guys she dates think of her From my experience meeting their boyfriends, I feel bad for the guys lol

A big problem with Asian-American women who look down and shun Confucianism is that they never read the Confucian classics. Confucian philosophy is not misogynistic. Many men in Confucian cultures act misogynistically because misogyny was prevalent in most civilizations/cultures worldwide from the Bronze Age up to the 20th century. You can say this about many men in other cultures/religions too. Confucian philosophy is about self-improvement and constructing socially stable societies. Harmony and social cohesion is maintained through practicing and reflecting upon the five Confucian virtues of benevolence 仁, righteousness 义, propriety 礼, wisdom 智, and trust 信. Respect goes in both directions of the hierarchy, from top-down and the bottom-up. The majority of people in the West (including Asian-Americans) are ignorant of Confucianism, its theory, practice, history, and development. They just hear a couple of fake quotes from Confucius used as a joke without delving deep into what Confucius really said, the Mencius vs. Xunzi debate over human nature and state management, Cheng-Zhu school of Principle, and Wang Yangming's school of mind. Confucianism (alongside Daoism, and Zen Buddhism) would later influence Joseon Korea, bushido in Japan, and education in all of East Asia.

She thinks talking super fast makes her sound smart. Imagine all the pre-preparation and the overdone eye makeup just to make a moot point 😂

7:45 No, it's actually different cultures act differently. This Asian girl is the case in point - despite being of Asian race she has strong western cultural traces in the way she speaks and behaves.

I believe Fungbros kind of keeps the White Americans on a pedestal.

That lady is straight traumatized 😅

Please clarify that when you talk about these type of Asian, Identify them as Westernized Asian. I can honestly say, most Asian women from ASIA don't think like her.

I'm not mad at all. She's entitled to her opinion. My opinion is that she may be American born Asian. I don't consider her to be genuinely Asian with that kind of mentality.

You should talk about how R. F. Kuang, one of the most talented young Chinese authors, is been censored by Hugo Awards, one of the most prestigious book awards, because of China.

Correction; I was watching a tiktok from a South Korean denizen, she was saying the 4B movement is something only attributed to decline of coupling & birth rate on tiktok/social media, over there, people don't know what it is when she asks them what it is. The reason why there's a heavy decline of relationships & babies is because it's simply too expensive.

She not Asian. She wear nose ring. Failure management for emotional damage. 好看女人唔使穿鼻環.