shopping isn't self-care // self-care shopping isn't real 

i think one of the main reasons i fall victim to “retail therapy” is because of the lack of affordable things to do where i live. there’s really nothing to do besides go shopping or go to the movies. i think most people who live in rural or even suburban areas can relate to that. there’s no affordable, safe, easily accessible third spaces to hang out in or fun and affordable activities to do. i find if i’m just wanting to get out the house and go do something, i end up shopping because there’s nowhere else to go. and yeah i have hobbies that i do at home, but i can only do that for so long before i get bored and want to go do something outside of the house. and whenever i hang out with anyone, the same dilemma arises. we always end up going to thrift stores or target because there’s nothing else to do

As a baby boomer, consumption was a way of life. Why have 5 pairs of shoes when you could have 50? It has only been the last few years, with the help of your videos, that I have realized how much I was wasting in term of money and resources. A no spend year and an ongoing pan project has really helped me reduce my over consumption. Great video.

seeing shopping as "self care" and using it as a source of dopamine literally caused my shopping addiction !!

Actual self care: building good habits that allow you to 1) get enough sleep 2) eat healthy 3) cultivate in person friendships. Good habits help regulate serotonin. I'm contrast, little hits of dopamine (like shopping) will not lead to long term happiness. Dr. Robert Lustig has books on the difference between dopamine and serotonin if you're interested in learning more.

also seeing the language around overconsumption changing for the worse, everyone is instead saying “restock my skincare” and it’s like 20 products in one go going into an already full cupboard! Why do we need to restock? We are not stores! Back in the 90s people would have like 1 or 2 lipsticks not a whole array😭

i want to see a trend of women going through a store, looking at all the stuff saying, "nope!... no, thanks!... nope! not for me!" cut to them walking out without buying anything, and then showing them making a bank transfer to a savings/market account with an accompanying graph of the value going up over time. if that was hashtagged "selfcare" it would be way more accurate.

You’re right about the fact that just because something is an essential doesn’t mean it’s an “essential”. Clothing is an essential but overconsumption of clothing is not. In fact clothing is probably better as it doesn’t expire. 😂

I fell into this trap when I was watching TikTok constantly all the time and was depressed. I was looking for something to do (I was unemployed at the time after moving) and I thought I could self care shop my way out of feeling sad and lonely. It obviously didn’t work, and looking back I feel bad about the unnecessary spending of money. I’m now working on using all of my lotions, body washes, body oils, etc and I won’t buy a new one of any of those things until I use all of the ones I have up! Also, when people just show themselves putting things into their carts and not them having the items at home I always assume they’re not buying that stuff. They’re just showing themselves putting it in the cart and then they either leave the cart or put it back. Which is also manipulative!!

I recently started knitting again. I was afraid right away that I would buy way too much yarn. I actually started watching videos of people trying to downsize their “yarn stash”. This will help me realize that yarn is just like makeup or scrapbooking supplies or books or perfumes. These are all categories that I already purchased too much of. Expressing oneself is important, but does not rely on thousands of purchases. Just a few things will do. BTW They have a sign at my craft store that says “Yarn is cheaper than therapy.”

My MIL has a shopping addiction and it’s not a joke. She makes over 200k a year but still has hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt on credit card & car loans, and tens of thousands of dollars that she owes friends/family members. She constantly is borrowing money but in her closet is floor to ceiling stacks of luxury clothes, shoes, and makeup none of which has even been worn. Shopping addiction and hoarding go hand in hand but for some reason people try to pass it off as “collections”. Except buying all the new trendy items isn’t a collection it’s just overconsumption.

Early baby boomer here, recovering shopaholic and daughter of a shopaholic. I have experienced financial trouble as a result of an addiction to home shopping tv channels back when they were new. I would even forego sleep to watch until 3:00 am to buy a particular item. It was crazy! One day I looked around, came to my senses and realized that I was a total of $6,000 in debt! A wash of shame came over me along with the resolve that it would never happen again. I quit watching cold turkey. I did not realize that I was still a shopaholic at heart and maybe always will be. But with the desire to go to a simpler lifestyle came more self control. I have watched so many of this type of video and admit to having been influenced several times. Shoppers like me get an extreme hit of dopamine from these videos. I even got excited watching the clips you showed. They are like setting off dynamite to your financial success as well as being wasteful. If you are weak in that area stop watching completely and really care for yourself. I now have only one person I like to watch as she shops and that’s because she shops at TJ Maxx, Marshall’s and Ross - my favorite places to shop. It have ever watched, nor will I ever watch a Temu haul. They are reprehensible to me. I also want to include, which you did not, thrifting hauls. Marketed as saving the environment because the products already exist. I love those videos but am no longer foo,ed as to what they are, shopping dopamine. Those are the two kinds of marketing deception that’s Seem the most dangerous. You are still getting your dopamine hit from shopping. That is what has to change. It has been suggested that shopaholics came about as a couple of generations of people failed took an easy fix to getting that rush. That is because they no longer sought out their purpose in good places. Some people still find joy in volunteering or giving back to their community in some positive way. I found the best hit of dopamine in volunteering. Until the modern age the majority of a person’s time was spent working to survive without any modern conveniences. With the advent of household technology came the novel idea of leisure time. People who were programmed in their dna just to survive life (cave people, for example) never had a week-end off or a 3 day week-end. Now the brain is basically thrown for a loop over how to spend these leisure hours, while the hunter/gatherer part of the brain is still very strong. The deception is self-care or store up for your family for the proverbial winter. Your brain deceives you into thinking you are doing good, hence, the dopamine rush. The possible solution is to find your hit in a healthy place that is also beneficial to others. Know,edge is power, they say, so the younger generations need to be challenged to find satisfaction in new and better ways. Shopping is always going to be a wagon I am tempted to fall off of. I know, terrible grammar. It requires self discipline. Somewhere along the line that became a dirty word and it has led to all manner of trouble. I started a low buy year the past two years in a row and those videos keep me in a better head space and make me feel accountable. p.s. I love your headband.

Thank you for flat out saying this! The term "retail therapy" used to be a self-deprecating joke, but these days I see people use the term in a serious way. That it's somehow "self-care" to spend money you were not planning on spending on something that you weren't even thinking of buying. I find these kinds of videos to be quite bizarre, to be honest. I don't understand what the appeal is to watching someone walk around a store just looking for something to buy for the sake of buying something. I'm not sure how that's interesting or entertaining in any way, but it does reinforce the idea of mindless shopping in the name of "self-care", and that's very problematic.

True self care is doing things, some of which might be unpleasant, to make your experience of life better long term. Shopping, unless you are going and only buying what you need that is in your budget, isn't that. True self care looks like exercise, house cleaning, basic hygiene, budgeting, paying bills, doing talk therapy or working on therapeutic concepts, cultivating and participating in hobbies and socializing. A lot of self care is boring, mundane, and not aesthetic. But a lot of the #selfcare stuff is really self soothing, which can be a maladaptive coping technique. We are encouraged to do self care, but I don't see many people saying that self care isn't always aesthetic or fun. And so a bunch of people are growing up with their only definition of self care being something more along the lines of going shopping, canceling plans, taking a bubble bath (with a million products), drinking alcohol, doing a face mask. And don't get me wrong, I enjoy taking the time to do my skin care or makeup, to use a nicely scented scrub when I am bathing, to be extra in how I care for my hair, but I try to use what I have for the most part. But even being hyperaware of how long it might take to use things up, and how much we consume that we don't need, I struggle to not get backups of my favorite items when they are available at a lower price, or to want to try different kinds of products. It is so much harder to just consume what you need these days. And as aware of this as I am, I still feel the pull to just buy this thing, maybe it will allow me to relax, maybe it will be what I need to finally care for myself. Because it is so much easier to tell yourself you have time to shop for the perfect thing, but not the time to use it. And no one thing will change your life, so just using that thing is ultimately disappointing, which leads you to look for something else to change your life. The only thing that will change your life is changing your habits, and it is slow, and boring, and hard, and won't lead to people being excited and clicking on your video. This is why I loved your contentment content, because it was slowly incorporating more true self care habits. Millenials are absolutely also a problem. We were young when our parents were told that shopping, even beyond their means, was important to stimulate the economy. We grew up watching people treat themselves, telling themselves that using credit was a virtuous thing that will help our country and our economy. We grew up with Friends and Sex and the City where the paycheck didn't match the lifestyle. Where did we hang out with friends? At the mall. I think it has gotten a lot worse because of the pandemic. A lot of us were stuck in the monotony of being at home, stuck with ourselves and our loved ones without break. Sometimes the only thing I had to look forward to was when I ordered something online and was waiting for it to arrive. And trying to break those habits and get back to living my life in ways that support my goals and mine and my family's needs has been so difficult. And now that I have written this novel, most of which points you already mentioned in the video, I'm going to go vacuum my carpet, then go grocery shopping, and perhaps even go for a run. Because I deserve a clean house, healthy groceries, and the loose, happy feeling only a workout brings. Wish me luck!

It’s crazy how some ppl turn shopping and obsessing over new products a whole personality trait 😭😂

A remember an "aha moment" when Hannah Louise Poston did a no buy year in 2016.. 2017 and that was really eye opening to how I leaned into retail therapy. It was such a dopamine catch.. no megan stop! more spending means more time at work

For me self care is loving the items I have. I am very materialistic but not in a sense that I want to have a lot, I want stuff that I enjoy every day. I mean that they bring such joy that I can't wait to wear them or use them. Like I feel sad when I use them up and have to replace them. Like I almost cry when they broke beyond repair. I do enjoy shopping when it is for an item I have carefully researched for and I know that it adds to my life. Last time I bought a bag it was because I didn't have one that could hold my laptop and everything else. I was excited to finally found one and now I use it in my daily life because it serves so many purposes.

I actually watch these to satisfy my want to shop without actually buying anything. I like to see what's new also, but will absolutely never ever watch a PR UNBOXING, EVER

Do you watch the YT creator 'simple happy zen'? She once said, "don't go looking for things to want" and I think about it all the time. Such a powerful concept. I'm a new subscriber, and I love your videos! I am going a no-buy summer, inspired by your ideas. This is all such a great counterpoint to the hyper-consumerism that has taken over (especially post-pandemic). Thank you!

After learning more about the downsides to consumerism and knowing that fixing my mental health involves real therapy and not “retail therapy” it’s so insane to see these hauls. I’ve been going to empty to transfer more to zero waste and it’s taking me FOREEVEEEERR just to go through the things I have

i was born in 2000, and i definitely do remember the time before influencers. we didn't really start talking about influencers or youtubers or social media content creators until the mid 2010's. before that, we only had random people posting random shit online for the fun of it. it was when vine rolled around that social media became a somewhat viable source of income.

Self care =spending money on stuff you don't actually need at the moment. Accompanied by "girl math" =definitely not math, shit doesn't add up at all. What's behind all that?? Girl math for making dumb financial decisions... Or the idea that whatever issues we have can somehow be cured by buying meaningless stuff...guess our problems are equally mundane? How did we get here as a species? Asking for a friend.

I shop by utility as I use things up unless there is a deal that would make buying in bulk make sense. My home doesn’t need to look like a store, and I’m easily overwhelmed by the products I see thrown in carts I don’t need more than one sunscreen, cologne, face wash, etc. at once.

Thank you so much for saying boldly “people dont have the right to overconsume.” So many topics that speak about current societal issues in general dont want to make such bold statements so as not to upset their audience. But in reality, if something is resulting in a net negative on the world, it should not be normalized just because someone wants to do it and “arent hurting anyone.” In reality they are indirectly hurting the society as part of a collective. For example I see this a lot in the cosmetic surgery industry. I genuinely think most of the cosmetic enhancements people are doing (especially major ones lik bbls and face enhancements) are hurting our wallets, our self image, our expectations of how a real person is supposed to look, etc. Its doing MAJOR damage PLUS actual health damage through botched surgeries and literal de*ths. But everyone ends up saying “if this will make you happy then go ahead.” I disagree it should be more nuanced as to whats acceptable. Obviously some surgeries are fine like skin grafts or breast reductions or breast augmentation due to cancer (and so many more examples). But this idea that anyone should be able to do whatever they want is not helpful in certain scenarios

I agree 100%. All actions have consequences. I don't think we all have the "right" to buy, it's such a bizar take. I've seen content creators calling out for example "stock up" videos....but only holding the people watching accountable and not the one making the content. I think it's both sides, I appreciate your self reflection & thoughts🌺.

I love body scrubs and pimple patches but I can’t stand the people who buy 20 scrubs to use all at once.

Posting again to say that positive reenforcement always wins over anything punitive. Videos like yours are influencing thousands as well as bringing awareness to a generation.

This ripped at my center as I was self care shopping before it was a thing. As you share it makes me happy that you’re doing videos to explain our “insanity” with owing soooo much stuff and bottom line it doesn’t make me feel better! When I became aware of my shopping addiction was watching channels like your addressing consumerism. Thanks and I hope my remarks are positive because your channel doesn’t need negative ! Thanks ❤

Unfortunately sometimes it's just easier to shop or buy stuff than to make the time or energy for a real self care activity... and I agree with you that it's probably worse because we see it so much online!! Thanks for talking about this. Not to go all doom and gloom, and it might be because of my own "no buy" this year ...but I can't watch that content anymore without thinking about how possibly wasteful it is, how much single use plastic is involved, how long it would take to use all the products featured, or in cases of Shein/Temu how much the humans working on those products are devalued in their jobs or even possibly suffering from violations of their rights etc. and I'm starting to get more turned off by consumerism content. Which is obviously helping me stick to the no buy 😅

Over the past couple years I've fallen into several different categories of shopping addictions. It was haircare, then skincare, lately fragrances. I grew up in a house where I truly was given the absolute bare minimum & it so badly affected my self esteem that when I got my own money, I got hooked on getting all the things I wanted when I was a teenager. I realize all this & still struggle with it although I've come a long way in being more aware of it

Thank you for making this. My birthday is coming up and I'm in the mindset of spending money and buying a bunch of crap because "it's my birthday and I deserve it" I usually have waiting periods for bigger purchases (like, if I still really want this decor/bedding/clothing or whatever in X weeks, then I'm allowed to get it) which works well for me, but my usual rules and regulations go right out the window this time every year. This reminder was definitely helpful!

I found out that I can kick the consumerism wants by going to the library and checking out books or scrolling on Netflix and adding a bunch of stuff to my ‘watch later! It gives me the same excitement the receiving packages used to before my items/consumerism made me stressed out. If anyone struggles with shopping try going to the library! Or looking for shoes to add to your watch list. Something about it gives me the same feeling as a new item used to

This is why I read up on views to narrow stuff down and only buy stuff I actually will use in my routine. Self Care should mean treating yourself but also recognize stuff expires and to only buy what you need.

I thinks there's also something to be said about actually enjoying what you buy. I personally enjoy using self care products quite a bit but I genuinely see no point in buying more until I'm out of what I have. On top of that, I don't need a million different skin or body products. It's really just lotion, moisturizer, a leave in conditioner, maybe a serum here and there. Even if someone wants to participate in the whole self care product thing does not mean they need ALL of it all at once

I completely agree with everything said in this video -- excessive shopping and consumption is in no way "self-care" -- but I always assumed that the creators making the videos were titling them "self-care shopping" because they are shopping for self-care products? Like skincare, haircare, body care etc. I don't think they are calling the physical shopping itself being a self-care activity, just the products themselves

Ahhh thank you I needed this! I was thinking about rewarding myself with shopping but I didn’t even know what I wanted to buy. I was just getting caught up in consumerism 😢

I remember how RU-vid used to promote overconsumption with all those Alex drawers filled with so many products and their backup. I had so much stuff from skincare, hair care, body care and nails and finally decided to do a no buy year which turned into several years to finish all the products I had.

I totally get the dopamine hit from watching those videos. I watch cleaning, decluttering and organizing videos

I'm liking the video because you were brave enough to be honest and heck, even swear! 😂 In a twisted way I'm sort of glad I work retail because these videos don't work on me quite the same way they would maybe in my early 20s. Seeing all these products being plopped into a cart or basket just looks like work to me.😅

This video is the one thing I need to listen to whenever I even fathom shopping. THIS is self-care: knowing you make your choices, not mindlessly but with reason and being honest with yourself. Acknowledging whatever product you like won't fix your life if you just buy it "because why not". Recognizing toxic patterns so that you regain some agency and become more conscious about what you consume. This video is self care. Just earned a new subscriber, excellent job ❤

This video made me realize a lot. I can't go doing hauls (I've tried) because I end up more stressed five minutes later due to the lack of money to pay my basic needs (has happened too many times now), but on a day-to-day basis there's always the small treat- sweets, more caffeine, food, the clothes a friend is selling. Most of my spending is social and I end up just going back home with a bunch of things I don't need and not enough money for what I do need. In the end I'm just going with the flow instead of taking care of myself, because that's just it. I got a bunch of plushies I'll never use again but I haven't gotten the shoes I do need to run. I go out to eat with friends but I never have anything at home. What is that even for? To keep them around. But what sort of friendship is this, if we need to just go buy things in order to see each other?

Omg!! all of the #SelfCare is just #ShoppingAddiction 😂🍵. Actual Self Care is your Mental health,Your eating habits, And real health!! Always love you💜！

Maybe I'm reaching but I think this rebranding of consumption started when people started to call shopping "retail therapy". Going so far as calling it self-care is IMO, a way to distance yourself from the fact that, more often than not, you're giving into your wants rather than your needs. It's also a way of dissociating the guilt you might feel when you realize that you bought stuff to fit a certain aesthetic/ lifestyle you can't afford. Self-care is so much more than treating yourself by consuming. Slow down, make yourself time to unwind, get into activities you enjoy that don't involve additional spending, and implement "unpleasant" habits that will serve you in the long run... This is also self-care. I wonder how brands will capitalize on this phenomenon to incite us to buy even more 😶🤭

I used to head the beauty department at a chain drugstore and fell victim to crazy impulse shopping of "essential" personal care items. It ended up as clutter 85% of the time. I would push the barely used stuff to family and I would toss so much makeup. As I've gotten older and more routine in what products I've found that works for me, and from being away from working in such a space, it's astounding how much money was wasted looking back. This goes ESPECIALLY for skincare! I'm 32 and still deal with adult acne but I know now what works and I can't be swayed by new products with buzzword claims. The only "new" skincare products I've picked up are pimple patches which are kinder to me for whiteheads than highly medicated serums and spot treatments which can trigger breakouts. And I say "new" in quotation marks because I was buying pimple patches on the cheap from Walmart for nearly a decade now, years before it became trendy with new brands and stricker-like designs.

I CANNOT make this up: the second you started mentioning Temu an ad played for it THEY WERE SUMMONED THEY'RE FIGHTING BACK

Never knew people got excited when they got out of something. It's so sad, everything gets empty at once and you have to spend money little by little if u dont have enough for all of it.

I honestly find it relaxing to go through a store and look at all those products. I've finally realised that the "window shopping" I do (without buying anything) is making me just as happy as when I used to always buy a few items alongside it. Sometimes I just want to look at pretty things and pretend I own everything (as a collector at heart), but I feel like the important distinction I've learned for myself to make is that it is a "look, but don't buy" situation, unless I actively need something because I ran out

I’m a new subscriber and I’m absolutely loving your commentaries on overconsumption! I’m learning so much about overconsumption and learning so much about myself from watching your videos! I’ll be watching your decluttering video next. ❤

In therapy for shopping addiction as well as mental health. Thank you for calling this out.

Really loving all of your video's lately! Thanks of opening up of struggling with the "self care shopping' addiction. It's really a thing I am know also on a journey of minimizing shopping and doing other things with that money like traveling and enjoying nature more!

for me, shopping CAN be therapy kind of. as someone who is less fortunate and not very well off, i rarely have the funds to go shopping JUST for me- not including necessities. therefore, when i do get the chance to shop, it makes me so happy

shopping is self-care when u can do it once or twice a year. It's an evennnnt. Wish it could be without worries like that, but its a tiny version. I feel like I'm being able to love myself properly. Doesn't matter the brand etc.

It's been getting more difficult to not fall into the trap of overconsumption recently, but taking photos of what I want and making a wish list instead of buying it definitely helped.

Your content has been so good lately!!

this is something I’m really trying to reframe in my mind. sometimes if I’m stressed at work and wanting to buy something I have to regulate myself of actually I just need a snack and an early night and that’s much better self care than spending

I am GenX and we always did retail therapy! We being my friends. I have way more clothes, shoes, coats, makeup, skincare,etc. it took me decades to help myself out with all this shopping! Refreshing to learn from a younger woman! Your doing good here on RU-vid!

What helped me to buy a bit less is that I regularly put all skin care related stuff and make up on the floor and see how much it is. Also what helped me is to have for now a few categories where I stay with one product. I still have a lot, but I wanna use that. I just hope that I find more product categories where I find exactly what I look for and can stay with.

I am just stopping by to say the videos you have been making are giving me life! These topics are amazing. ❤

Thank you so much for this video! This video couldn't have come, to me, at a better moment/ point in my life. Tbh, I was kinda scared before clicking on this vid but after playing it repeatedly over random points in the day, it started to really sink in and it literally clicked. I'm so embarrassed to say this but I need to do something about the way I shop; I need to be stopped. Shawna, I've been watching and following for a while now and thank you so much for all of the vids ❤

Thought exercise: Ever been on the phone with your best friend, talking about real, emotional life circumstances (good or bad), while doing a grocery or convenience store run? How easy was it to select what you needed to buy? You probably stopped and talked, looked at many aisles, then said goodbye to your friend to focus on shopping without distraction. This perfectly illustrates why you can’t face your emotions while shopping, aka why it’s not therapy.

My home doesn't need to look like a store!

I definitely enjoy watching shopping hauls because of the vicarious shopping experience for items that I normally would not buy.

also omg your neighbours' walking. I'm so, so sorry. ((sobbing))

A person can both over-spend and under-spend at the same time. Both can be a trauma response or coping mechanism. Shopping in the right way can be self-care. Buying things just for the sake of buying things isn't self care, but when we are so limited in sense of connection to our community, it makes sense why we want to go somewhere familiar and a space that doesn't necessarily have an expectation for us to have to be overly engaged either.

Watched this video while getting ready yesterday and man you hit all the points, also I really hope your channel gets bigger in the future because more people really need to adopt these mindsets to realize this overconsumption is unhealthy and draining

1. I strongly dislike the word/trend aesthetics applied to anything. 2. I wonder if the reason they “need to buy skin care” when there is a wall full of them is because those are for show and they dont like them hence, they need to buy one they actually like (it is a stretch here cuz at this point they like anything aesthetic lol)

Im an emotional shopper ! 😩😩 I’m working on it . Great video

I'm in my mid 40s, and all I've ever used is Neutrogena face wash and spf50 sunblock. As for makeup, I only wear mascara. People think I'm 30 years old. Please, if you're a young lady, don't fall for it. Age naturally, it will keep you looking younger for longer. Also, pro tip, I've bought all my shampoo, razors, toothpaste, toothbrushes, floss and deodorants from the Dollar Tree, and they work just as well as the expensive stuff. Be simple, save money, be happier.

Every Gen has had this discussion. Please look up the documentaries "Affluenza" and "Escape from Affluenza". You'll enjoy them so much. They are documentaries from the 1990s that discusses the dangers of overconsumerism and over-commercialization. It goes into having tips and ideas to spend less or focus mainly on things most important to you. It also goes into topics of how shopping is detrimental towards the environment, societal, mental health, and other areas of life. They go into that cycle you are talking about. Incredible that after 30 years after the production of these documentaries people are still talking about the dangers of Affluenza without using the term itself. Anyways I hope you make a commentary video of those documentaries. 😎👍

Excellent video! I totally agree with everything you’ve said about self care just being something as simple as doing your own nails. As someone that has struggled with bipolar depression shopping was not my friend 😅 it’s been a very long and hard process to avoid spiraling.

Wow this made me think differently. I never thought of the shopping part being the “self care”, I’m just excited to go home and take a nice relaxing bath w my eucalyptus body wash & use the shampoo that smells good and feels like it really cleans my scalp, then after put on a mask that leaves my face glowy and hydrated. Thats the part that feels very self care and that I’m taking care of my body and mind ? But now looking at those videos, I see them differently. Thanks for the good video!

Honestly I can give myself a $5 budget and go to the dollar store and thats therapy, so it works. What doesn't feel good is when you go into debt.

The fact that they spend almost as much per one self care haul as some families spend on monthly GROCERIES 😭

It’s interesting to think about how shopping hauls perpetuate shopping hauls… not just from algorithms promoting and rewarding them, but if you start by showing how you shop, you might land more and more sponsorships to keep shopping, and then to keep earning money doing something you’d do anyway, you keep making them. Years ago I remember answering an ad for some kind of gift card in return for an honest review. I’d never do it nowadays, but when I was in that age range of the young influencers under discussion, that’s something I did and which I felt was not just nice for me to do for myself, but that in making money from it, that it was also RESPONSIBLE for me to “be making money.” But yeah, it just creates a self-perpetuating cycle of consumption. I definitely fall under the umbrella of people who can watch a haul and generally feel “okay that was fun,” but I have a general aversion to the feeling of checking out of a shop unless I know I got a GREAT deal on something I would likely have bought regardless! Do I like and want and kind of crave the stuff in those girls’ shopping carts? Yeah. Do I use face masks and bubble bath and thermos mugs? Not at all. Watching little toy figure blind box unboxings? I’ll watch them, but I went through that phase in 2008, and ultimately didn’t find it rewarding at the time, and I’m finally parting with all these useless knickknacks now, realising they never offered any real “fulfillment.” Ultimately it’s so much about seeing someone else on the screen living out your fantasy self’s life, and seeking that out… but that’s more like the life you’d imagine having if you felt fulfilled… not the elements that lend fulfillment to begin with. That comes from within, but I think most of us have lost track of how to find it. So we look outward. (Or maybe it’s just me, but I’m sure someone out there can relate!)

We definitely over-consume, however I will say that if you’re out of your self-care products, shopping to re-stock them is perfectly normal. What’s not normal is hoarding products or buying stuff you don’t really need at the moment.

I’m trying to use what I have that I’ve bought as self care because in truth it stresses me out having to do all these extra unnecessary things. It can become a vicious cycle. Currently crawling my way out of debt.

Watching this as I organize my bath and bodywork’s cabinet. I do have too much. Annoying medical bills I thought insurance was going to cover, but is kicking back have put a pause to my spending. 😢 Before January I had one moisturize and body wash and bought 12 candles on candle day to last a year. I have almost 50 now! Watching BBW you tube folks and Reddit pulled me in and I need to get out before these things own me!

Shawna, if you haven’t already can you make a video talking about the positives of reusing? For example, how many gallons of water are saved when you thrift a shirt or repair the one you already own? What’s the impact on the environment of buying new vs renting/borrowing. The clothing Desert in Chilie, etc. I know it’s in a lot of environmental books but I think I would love to hear your thoughts/experiences and have a podcast like video to listen to :)❤

The fact that zhirelle was showed in this video surprises me anyway my opinion about these videos it kinda felt okay at the beginning but i now realize for the second time all i need is nivea cream thats it as well we have to realize that we don't need so much self care im saying this because i have seen other people do this meanwhile my dad can only afford nivea and i only comment this for my future self to remember to not be wastefull thats all.

That’s me. I vicariously live through the shopping by watching the videos and that is enough for me. Once in a blue moon I am inspired to buy something based off recommendations but it is carefully thought trough, slept on, and 9/10 I forget about it or lose interest. I’m also a 44 year old women. As I have gotten older I just don’t find the need to frivolously spend and I have even gone as far as getting rid of a bunch of my stuff and downsizing. If these videos had been a thing when I was young I’m not so sure it would have been good.

First of all, every video keeps me on track to use up my stuff. Oh! The Dior came in the most beautiful packaging! The product i bought was not what I thought it would be. It's advertised as a lip product, but it's a cream moisturizer for face and hands. It's a pretty scent. The samples they sent will be perfect for travel. Will I buy from dior again? No. I can see that I would be a hoarder of the packaging. I will tell you that I found a use for every piece of packaging. 🎉

I really enjoy your videos because it gives me perspective on what to do better as a creator! Although I’m not a “no buy” or “low buy” channel, I’ve been trying to find the balance between sharing valuable content without promoting overspending and helping viewers think more critically. Truthfully, this is a difficult balance to find and a challenge I’m facing. I wish I would have seen this perspective before I posted a self care shopping video because I would have done it differently. 😅 I also think age and target demographics have A LOT to do with the views certain videos get. And not all generations are on the same page, which impacts the content that is being pushed.

I just appreciate you so much. Thank you for being a voice of sanity in our culture. 🙏

An excellent video, thank you. As well as the dopamine hit, they get from shopping, I'm sure they also get dopamine from the attention of likes and comments they get from their video. I know that it's been shown that someone watching art being created is almost a relaxing, if not the same as, the person who is actually creating the art as a form of therapy. So, it isn't a far reach to assume that it's the same for those watching people doing hauls. ETA: i also just wanted to add that somewhere along the line self- care has to be doing 'nice' things for yourself, Bubble bath, face pack, etc. Sometimes, it can be paying a bill or having a bit of a tidy up, making a healthy meal.

i usually don't watch videos til the end cuz of my adhd but i watched this whole thing and didn't see the time go by. very interesting and i agree with every single thing you've said

I struggle with very mild agoraphobia. For me, going into a store and purchasing something is self care. It's making myself be present with my discomfort and trying not to give into my anxiety. Granted, I'm going into Dollar Tree and buying one single thing but even so. I know that my experience is not the same as what the tiktok videos are representative of, but sometimes shopping really is self care. During the shutdowns it became very easy to have everything delivered and I've found that that gives me less incentive to leave my home. Just a thought.

I used to do this, until I had to move cross country and deal with all the clutter. As I threw out each barely used item, my mind played the memories of me swiping my card and/or hitting “submit order”. All the money wasted, all the expired products…sigh…now I only repurchase whenever I run out of something in particular. What a life lesson; clutter is clutter guys 🤷‍♀️

Minimalism was life changing for me! ✨

I think we are missing from this conversation that these full carts do not mean these women are actually completing the purchase. They go to stores to do this to create content, most of them will put almost *everything* back. We saw that with the bloom influencers. They would put the bloom in the cart but not even buy it.

Retail therapy and shopping addiction isn’t a new concept, however it’s definitely gotten exponentially worse since the inception of the internet and the rise of social media and the accessibility to do so, and how much we’re being sold to through the internet on a regular basis

Its crazy to think that we are not shopping because we need or want something but instead we just buy because it is trending knowing they will probably never use it. It really is a sickness

Self care is setting a budget and sticking to it. I have to keep reminding myself of this.

I needed this video soo bad

There's this one youtuber that I liked but after it clicked on me that in every single video she says she bought something or that she was waiting for a package I just couldn't like her as a person anymore. It seems as it's all she knows how to do, buying things then showing to her subscribers. Worst of it it's fast fashion things that will fall apart any day and she encourages buying from those sites.

This video is so eye opening for me. I’ve been on a “don’t buy x till i run out of what i already have” mindset for a while which i thought was an improvement from my previous “i need all versions and possibilities of x” but i still have this mindset of “i cant wait till i run out of x so i can buy it again” which is like hello what?? But it’s bc my brain enjoys the shopping part omfgmgkdkf 😭😭 ok realization 🫣 i have to work on this

When I get depressed I find that I tend to buy things just because

I so appreciate this video, top to bottom. 😊❤

18:10 That’s basically the only reason I watch hauls lol. I’m actually broke so watching girls my age being able to spend so much and get everything they want is super pleasurable in an unreachable fantasy way, basically like imagining what you’d do if you won the lottery. Ironically my consumption of these haul videos have gone down from when I was younger, b/c actually having finite money makes the idea spending 250$ in one go at target feel much worse to me

They all literally say it is shopping therapy 😭😭 that’s the whole point of those videos self care is therapy there not gonna tittle it “therapy shopping” there gonna say self care cause certain stuff like aroma lotion can de stress you or certain face washes can help clear your skin

I've seen SO many of those videos in korea and japan because they are very focused on always looking good.

Shopping tends to be a coping mechanism for me, when I decide to buy some things I feel like I'm in control the most. I'm trying to limit this and also downsizing my collections at the same time. My goal is to have smaller collections with items I care more about, be it books or manga or anime figures. Selling can be addictive too, I like packing things nicely and letting buyers know their package is on their way. 🥳