Should You Tell A Narcissist You Know Who They Are? 

Leave them alone. They have nothing we need. We have to stay in the light where they will not be able to find us. Ty

Once you catch that hideous demonic expression of delight in tormenting you, and where the "human " mask is off, you will know, this is not the result of a difficult childhood but of choice, of the will that chooses evil. When one chooses a life apart from God and goodness and love, narcissism is the result. Protect yourself and pray and pray and stay in the light as Paula encourages. Bless everyone in this battle. You are not alone. Please remember that. You are loved by pure love, the love of God. 💜

I confronted my ex NPD girlfriend when I realized who she is, after finding out she was cheating on me and lying and gasslighting me for months (with her sister's help). I've heard that it's not a good idea, but I thought "what's the worst that can happen?". I didn't do anything bad so I have nothing to fear. After I left , she started an enormous smear campaign ... and then she accused me of beating her up and raping her. She self-inflicted some bruises all over her body, just enough to put me in prison for half a year. Don't ever confront them. They are monsters.

Also, be careful when exposing them. Many narcissists are psychopaths/sociopaths or prone towards psychopathy. They could be very dangerous. At their core, they are predatory.

Well said. I won't be saying anything to those I know have the disorder. My strength is that I have no need to engage with the narc.

A narcissist doesn’t give a shit …period .

From my experience Don’t do it Just walk away in quiet and pretend you still appreciate them but just move because you have to Don’t expose them If you do, protect yourself at all cost against black magic and their tricks

The best advice ever! Just walk away, don't look back.

Just recently heard that every 7th person is a narcissist. So every other family has a narcissist in it. So sad. Proof evil is alive and increasing in numbers.

The saying "The best revenge is living a good life" is true. Confronting them is what narcs like - drama. Not saying a word and keeping quiet and away from them - kills them. Hmmm.. what to do ?

Should You Tell A Narcissist You Know Who They Are? NO, but get some leverage if you can. Quietly. Best is if they did something that can be a legal problem for them. They fear that.

Personally, i suggest you to not tell them that they are narcissist. They will never understand and no one has power to make them understand. What they understand is that action. And the best action is going no contact and stay no contact forever.

I confronted my 35 yr old daughter about her narcissism (inherited from my narcissistic ex-wife). She went into immediate narcissistic rage and discarded me for the second time (The first time was 5 years ago when she didn't approve of me remarrying. After 6 months and no fathers day greeting and birthday greeting from my daughter and in order to salvage the relationship I relented and apologized to her even though I was in the right and she was in the wrong). Now I have come to the realization that this breakup with my daughter is final. It is sad but my life will be better without this toxic person in it as she is not going to change. Lesson learned. I have been ruminating about the disrespect and narcissistic abuse I have suffered at the hand of my older sister for many years and have wanted to confront her since I learned about narcissism some four years ago. My decision now is to not engage with her. It would cause too many issues with my two other siblings and family members. My other two sisters are not educated on the subject of narcissism and are fooled by her charm and the masks that she wears. Conclusion: Confronting narcissists can open up a can of worms and should be thought out carefully. Love your channel.

Run! Just Run.

fight with their weapons once you decide to leave: hide your anger, play a victim and go strict no contact. You don't need any rationale to do it, no explanation needed, you can do it out of the blue. It's just an emotional game. They will tell that you went insane with no reason but they would do it anyway. This way they have less bullets. Use the moment of surprise. Not easy to do this and withstand, it's a battle of your will vs. their will. Remember, they weaponize every human aspect of you, any human contact. Be strong and preserve your life and your soul.

From my experience I would say no do not tell them about their dirty little secret, this gives you the upper hand on the situation, and another thing is if your on RU-vid trying to figure out their personality disorder look no further they are, listen to your intuition that's your soul telling you something is wrong, it's good to educate yourself about NPD but this is the only closure you'll get is knowing what they are, they will never ever change, you must except that and move forward with your life go no contact and just walk away, I myself confronted my ex about it and let me tell you something it was a nightmare, it's truly a spiritual fight, I don't care what anyone says, the Bible call's them jezebels spirit, so just move forward with your life, it's difficult to say or diagnose exactly what they are, but you listen to your intuition and it will tell you, don't go down the rabbit hole,go no contact and educate yourself, don't engage with them they are master manipulaters, observe don't absorb anything they say, make a plan and just get out and stay out 🙏👍 Paula and survivors and thrivers.

When he hovered me on the beach this summer…I didn’t say narcissist …I didn’t say you are a narcissist…instead I said… you go through cycles…and it will always be like this…so as he asked me what I was talking about…I said…lovebombing…devalue…and when I said devaluing…he got annoyed and started moving away…it’s like he couldn’t hear it…and then I continued discard and replace…and he said” how do you know me?” And I said something stupid because that’s the only thing that came out of my mouth…I said..” I studied this” and in his eyes I could tell he knew I knew something about him that he doesn’t know what it is… I truly believe mine always knew he is different but didn’t understand why he is behaving the way he does…oh well…I am so over him…I am just suffering the consequences of having to pick up my life so far away from everybody I knew and the land I loved…I will survive💃🏻🙏🏻😇or so I think😁

I've told my mother how I felt, what she's done to me, how she's hurt me, listed all her lies and yelled at her, to get it all out. Of course she wasn't there. Had she been, she would have laughed at me and would have taken pleasure at seeing me distraught.

Having had to cut ties with two narcissists, both before I was even aware that there were such things I absolutely agree that confronting them is extremely dangerous. My instincts told me to slip out of the relationships, causing the least possible waves and disruption to their egos. With one I even lied and pretended that I’d been the problem because I was so scared of his narcissistic rage. It might sound paranoid but I’m even considering moving to another city because I don’t fully believe that either one of them might not come for me. Horrendous creatures.

Yes tell them exactly who they are. Just make sure you never interact with them ever again because they will go deeper into their sinister plot to destroy you!

When I was 22, I confronted a malignant narcissist who harmed me when I was a teenager. In my naivete, I did not think this person would physically hurt me as a result of this confrontation. I was wrong. I was hospitalized for a week and I still have the physical scars today at age 53. The person whom I confronted continued with the same behavior for years until he was caught. So confronting him did nothing in terms of him acknowledging or changing his behavior. A few years ago, after he was caught, I saw a picture of him. He was much older and overweight with a blank look in his eyes. I could tell that karma had caught up with him as a result of his accumulated actions. I learned a lot through this situation and I don't have any ill will towards this person. I don't have any regrets about confronting him but, in reality, I was lucky to survive. A few years ago, a guy whom I had dated briefly in high school, contacted me online and pursued me. Long story, short, it turns out he has an entity attachment and exhibits many narcissistic characteristics as a result of this attachment. When I figured this out, I didn't tell him or confront him or anything like that. I learned so much about entity attachments through this interaction and I realized people with entity attachments have affected me throughout my life. So I'm starting a RU-vid channel and entity attachments is the first topic I will address. I'm writing these two examples because I think it's better to take the knowledge you've acquired and use it for good, much like Paula has done with this channel. IMO, it's not worth giving these situations any more of your time and your energy. At worst, it could be dangerous. At "best", it's going to take time and energy away from you moving forward with your life.

Thank you for the reminder... I was about to meet with the narcissistic person in my family to "clarify" things... As a favor to another family member. Your video came just at the right time! There's nothing to clarify with a narcissist. Thank you 🙏 💜 🌟

Great advice Paula! The best thing to do is just go no contact. They do not see it in themselves, for they are always the victim. It brings way more hardship on yourself to confront them, there just is no satisfaction to be had. Just living your life free of them is your reward. Wondering if other's see it in them and dealing with them, yes, they eventually do. They do burn everyone in their wake, eventually, even their flying monkeys.

They are dark souls ... just pass by and forget about it..... our time is precious..... can t be wast for them🥰

This video is so timely! Thank you!! One of the biggest obstacles in healing the damage caused by a narcissistic relationship is the sense that they just get away with all the damage they do. It’s such a horrible feeling of injustice. I have so much I want to say but I watch videos when I’m in a weaker moment to remind me that no good will come from confrontation.

I called her out! To everyone in her realm, and to the Narc mother herself Haven’t seen or heard from any of them in 2 years AMEN!

Thank you Paula again So as I was at the end 39 years , I discarded him whoooeee 🤣🤣 I don't know where I got the strength from , moved out family home , I was slowly becoming aware of narcicissm, I was reading reading , learning more and more , he had almost every trait , I told my legal team they really must have though I'd lost the plot , to make them aware of what was about to come , so it took 4 years him dragging it out !!! £45000 !!! I had no money he had loads After court ended it was me like a lamb to the slaughter the lies , lies ,lies he was telling , Thank God above judge legal team mine seen right through him , he dug his own hole , I then gathered every picture I could and nemes on this evil and bombarded him , I couldn't stop , it helped me then So fast forward few months contact not by choice , he says , hey I'm not a narcicisst you know ???? And such a one said it's this and another one said that !!!! Flying monkeys , at that point he must have been absolutely shitting his pants what more could I say do , but then I realised there's nothing more I want to do , I know he fears my mouth and tongue when unleashed 🤣🤣 so I leave the rest to the big karma , Sorry for long post This was a bully , coward , shitbag who used to rule my everythought , my life how everyone viewed me , even my own kids Stay strong all you lovely thrivers, get well get strong live your best life you can , use all your energy , time , love on you ❤❤

Man, I wish I could have put my mother in front of the screen while you said all that. Thank you for all your information. My mother is the devil and if she's not the devil is her best friend

Narcissist's response: "Game on!"

You are so right about NOT ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE BAITED into responding.... and God knows it's SO hard when they are clamping down on your triggers... YOU are the one who looks insane if you go off the rails.... which is what they want!!!! We have to stand ABOVE the demonic, selfish, manipulative, conning, lying, toxic game they run on everyone they ever come in contact with them!!!!!!!!

I had struggled with whether to tell him i knew. The opportunity came unexpectedly when the narcissist was speaking in a "joking" manner about his abilities, popularity, etc, then wouldn't say more "because he didn't want the narcissism to be too obvious". That's when I said "Oh, but it is!" In effect letting him I knew, however I didn't call him out on his behaviors. The final discard came not too long after that because he has to have someone who doesn't know who he is, someone naive & trusting who will believe & buy into his sh*t!

My first choice was to run and become more powerful in my own right. However, the narc had other plans and took me to family court for custody. This gave me no choice but to fight and expose him in court, standing in truth and light. You are right. You cannot lose when you do this, but you must do this with some protection of the law so that the narc will fear exposing himself more than he wishes to harm you.

I told my vulnerable narcissist ex boyfriend that I knew he was a narcissist and a sexual deviant, and a womanizer and that I was no longer interested in having him in my life because he was toxic and poison. Long story short, I packed my stuff and left that same day, he was shocked to say the least and gave me the silent treatment and “erased” me from his life on all social media platforms. I was fortunate to have been able to walk away before losing my temper and reacting, I responded instead and watch videos like yours to stay educated on the narcissist and their ways, thank you.

I told the ex narc husband Thank you , thank you for discarding me , and to thank the new supply too because thanks to them both I am so much better off than before . The puzzled look on his face was closure for me !

From what I learned never confront them. Once I found out that she was a narcissist. I went ghost and no contact. I was interested in this girl but all she was doing was using me for my massage skills. I noticed that she love attention from everyone. I remember she told me one time the she always feel greedy. That really stuck to my mind. I told myself something is wrong with this girl. One time she texted me and told me what’s wrong are you mad at me. I would tell her no. She told me I was irritated her. I always felt drained and not the same person when I was around her. I know she will be back looking for me to entertain her with massages. That’s not happening ever again. I know she will be looking for revenge for ignoring her. You have to go no contact and avoid these people at all cost. They are energy vampires. By me educating myself I was able to break free. I’m sure she didn’t see me leaving coming. I can tell she done this before to people. Your attention is their energy starved them of it.

If you have children with them, share assets, still legally married, and live close to them,don’t call them out. I learned my lesson the hard way. I called her out and 5 years of hell followed.

Again your spot on ,it's 50/50,but personally I'm not one bit afraid of them, but have learnt not to lower myself and it drives them nuts when you don't engage.No supply for the vampire.

I've had a few in my life. Never called them out just stepped slowly away from their lives. I used feel guilty about not giving them an explanation but after educating myself about npd, I'm so glad I didn't and I avoided the smear campaigns that inevitably would have followed. I think the worst that they said about me was about all they did for me and I was so ungrateful.

I revealed two narcissistic women whom I was romantically involved with. The first I had 2 children. The second was a matchmaking set up by the first. I avoided many but the matchmaker set up was the one that got by my guarded heart. The downloads came in and I picked up on the dark spirit that is housed within these people. I documented through audio and video for my protection as I do know myself and am not crazy when being gaslighted. I confirmed via seeing the eyes changing to darkness and also seeing the mask slip revealing the monster. The creator protected me every step of the way. The second narc was exposed via her favorite platform and on that platform I cut off her supply to destroy her false self. She ran for the hills and reaches out by calling claiming it was and accidental call. The first narc I'm plagued to co-parent with her as the government is used against me to extract financial supply. But the creator has blessed me to own my home and drive a luxury car as I only thrived since escaping both narc women. The first is still trying to befriend my family with an on going attempt to destroy me. I have less than 4 years out of the 18 providing financial supply to the narc. Please pray for me that I survive the last ditch effort to pull me into their state of being.

Thanks for the video. I found out and made sure that my ex was covert narcissist about 2 months after i went no contact. And i started to learn more and more about the narcissim, so i kept watching videos every single days and healing day by day,On the other hand, i hated my ex more and more while i was learning more about narcissim, most of the time, i wanted to send a msg which tells that he was a covert narcissist. I didn't do it. 1. İ didn't want to unblock, 2. I didn't want to feed his ego. But the best thing is that getting the answers of all my questions made me feel much better and stronger than ever, and helped me to heal so fast. I thank you and other beautiful people who spend a lot of time to make helpful videos for us. God bless u and the ones u love.

It’s amazing how they seem to know each other. A group of Cluster B very dangerous individuals have taken over our Homeowners Association with the goal of acquiring enough properties to control all decisions and eventually sell-out our small subdivision to an investor. They have an NPD with a meth addiction employed and stationed across the street from me to watch my every move. I’m disabled - limited physically. They have provided the meth man with an IMSI cell phone signal interceptor device to intercept my calls - so this person and his ‘gang’ know where I go at all times. This was a great place to live before all this, and there are no options for other housing. There is zero interest from law enforcement. I have tolerated the situation for a very long time, in which this gang tightened its grip on our homes. The little I have exposed recently has been met with harassment, menacing, intimidation that is non-stop. I received this horrid treatment as I attempted to lay low, and now there is even more evil visited upon me. They want to get rich by the rest of us losing our homes.

I told my ex husband he was a narcissist, he turned it back into me and told my teenage children I was the narcissist and then alienated them from me.

@1:01. That's when they walk away from you. Interrupt you, or cover their ears and start babbling like a misbehaved 5 yr old. Dont tell them sht about yourself. Let them hear your silent rejection LOUD AND CLEAR. Middle finger is the flag I wave when I'm silent.

I didn’t tell my Narc and choose to walk away once I discovered the truth. People could put themselves at risk when you tell them you know.

Wow. You have to be like a General at war to combat the narcissist! They are the enemy. It's crushing to think that someone I cared about and wanted to take care of never looked at me even as a friend. I was always even from the very beginning looked at with distrust and contempt. Great advice!!! Thank you! It is truly a war for the spirit!!! Hang on!!

It all makes sense now. She always gave me that bad gut feeling and was never a friend but I helped her financially. I didn’t listen to the signs and one was a phone call while I was distracted talking to her while I was crossing train tracks. The One Above protected me as I stopped walking as the train horn was blowing but heard it but didn’t! I was another three seconds or so and about two feet from being all over the tracks and felt the blast. I have documentation on the money and feel like sending it to her parents but they’ll protect their daughter even though they know their daughter. It reminds me of that movie where Kevin S is working the drive thru and recognises and sees his wife and Buddy in the car and caught in an affair where Kevin replies but something tells me you’re going to remember me! The parents of this woman “friend” that did me dirty will defend their daughter but something tells me they’d believe me as parents know their children and this woman is in her fifties now. Yes! Yes and Yes Paula!! You said it! Stay true to my moral core and not go into the trenches of hell this woman is rolling in. I feel sorry for anyone she encounters and I’m so glad I’m far away from her. I see clearly now and should’ve listened to me gut instinct and the red flags 🚩 and the demonic dark person she sadly is! Thank you dearly for this segment and stay beautiful over there in Erin. 🇮🇪

6:30 telling the enemy what you are going to do give no tactical or strategic advantage. Let them conjure up what you are going to do. Let them distract themselfes with their dark fantasies. Best is to make a Maskirovka. Use your imagination, and tell no one your real plans.

Even if you leave quietly, be prepared for that smear campaign. 23 years later, I still come across people who were told and convinced that I am a terrible person.

Beautiful advice 🙏 I told my narc I knew that she was one and WW3 came rolling in soon after. All this did was confirm what I already knew. I wanted to respond to the slander that ensued but blocked her and walked away. Trust you gut, walk away and heal. You can't reason with them.

There is a book called The 48 Laws Of Power By Robert Greene. This is a somewhat controversial book, and of you have read it, or will in the future, you will understand why. But from this book you can learn to keep your knowledge, plans, goals, dreams, intentions, and actions somewha of a mystery, confidential, and secret whenever possible. The less others know, the better, most in particular the narcissist. Seems manipulative, and it kind of is. But also many times it is necessary, because it keeps you safe and gives you an edge. Narcs tend to do this instinctively. They keep a lot of secrets, and that is why they have power over you. In a war, you can not tell the enemy what you know and what your plan of attack is. And unfortunately, dealing with a narc is a war, because their aim is to destroy you. So the less they know about you the better, the less you reveal what you know about them, the better, because for you to reveal anything to them is giving away your power. I have come to realize that it's not that we should run from them, but that we should avoid them, block them, put up walls, strong boundaries, clear blockages, in order to keep that demonic narc out. You shall not pass, oh narcissist! But to go into a confrontation, although tempting and possibly quite satisfying, may be very dangerous and can backfire in different ways. It would feel really good to tell them off. Maybe in some cases it is a good thing. But I completely agree that it is best to evaluate each individual situation, and even better to just move on silently and work on ourselves and our happiness, and let that bad memory dissipate like a bad smell.

I ran from the DEMON.. never told him I knew.

Someone else took care of the N for me. His (now) ex-wife after our marriage, from a different country, sat calmly in a chair, and told him, "I am your karma for what you did to your ex-wife. She might have left quietly without taking anything, I will take everything from you." And within days, she collapsed his entire life. She had a lot more power to do it because in the country they are from, women are known to have the lowest standard of rights in the world. In the West, she was supported by women's services for newcomer women. They educated her on who he is and how to leave and fight back (financially). He always threatened me if I went to court that he would claim himself a victim and play dumb on the abuse /domestic violence. She, enacted all of her rights as a woman in the West and he ended up homeless, destitute, with massive health problems from the stress, and called me to ask for help. Don't avenge. Just leave. You're so right. When you stay in the light, the N can't reach you there.

The first one I called out fried to headbutt me and then went on to headbutt the glass in my front door. She did it twice and I stopped her on the third. She then went on to try and rub her face down the wall. The second one I called out took my son away for a year. Cost me ten grand to get him back. 6 months later she broke the court order and responded with if I don't like it get my lawyer. She lied to a charity to get her costs covered. It's just more financial abuse. Both were called out hard and with precision. It's not worth it. Stay on a track that leads away from them. Good luck to good people. Remember..... No time for bullshit.

14:10 in 💪🏻🙌🏻🎯💯 “use that power ONLY when you need to use that power” YESSSSS this video is priceless, as is the previous video. I had to rewatch that one again before watching this. I suggest this for anyone who hadn’t seen the previous video yet. Watch them back to back if you can

Looking back, I landed softly when flight or flight response was high. Did not confront, joined a 12wk divorce group ( mostly empaths) that commanded a journey (i.e. a lot of homework) at the time thought was getting psych 101 course completed. It did not focus on narcissism, but that is where we discussed it without using the label because of the group pain. WE talked it out in group, I heard the people say what the narc did, in no way would it be beneficial to confront. We wrote a anger letter and later in the course we wrote a goodbye letter which both were powerful. Some read theirs to the other 50 people in the room, all genders cried, we were shocked. Some burned the paper it was written on. I was a complete fogged up zombie basket case and had a personal therapist outside the venue. Took it again, for my spiritual growth 24 weeks (think I had to see others going thru heck). The course started as my ex was moving out, he saw me going to it, my explanation, that I am not doing this again in ANY relationship and getting the tools in the box to not repeat. Suggested he go to the course one day for healing venture, he balked. It has been almost 4yrs of healing and taking care of myself, very difficult to have courage somedays. They will strip you of you, and have to build it back up. PS Did let go of a job, during this time and father passed away 6 wks b4 I filed, just more helpings for my healing journey. Thank you so MUCH!

Never, ever go after them in a Cavalier fashion all gung-ho. Everything Must Be thought through bit by bit if you confront them. Never be arrogant and cocky about it either (Pride cometh before a fall). Everything is a strategy when confronting them in my experience. Calculated calmly, cunning and thought through completely with meticulous zeal, all area's of your life where they can damage you in their reaction and backlash against you, your partner, kids, family and friends, work colleagues, your pet's, neighbors etc. "For what king goes to war without first having studied his enemy?" The Lord Jesus Christ The best option is to go "no contact" and not confront them whatsoever. Great video concerning a very dangerous situation. Thank you Paula.

Narcissists are the equivalent to FIRE. 🔥 Prepare to be burned and live with the scars that come from that relationship. Best to create as much distance and boundaries ASAP!!!

As I was reading these comments, I realized how many of us have been made to feel as if we have been called upon to fight a war. I was reflecting on a book that I never read, called The Art of War, by Sun Tzu.: In Chapter I, #18 it states::"All war is based on deception." In Chapter III, #3 it states: "Hence to fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting." Sun Tzu also stated: #18: If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle." Number #9, Chapter 6: O divine art of subtlety and secrecy! Through you we learn to be invisible, through you inaudible; and hence we can hold the enemy’s fate in our hands. Thankyou Paula for helping us to know the enemy and to know ourselves.........It seems as if Sun Tzu's Art of War is the playbook all the Narcs are reading from. In refusing to play by their rules, it becomes a.spiritual warfare, inviting us to stay in a place of faith, knowing that eventually, the truth will out. sites.ualberta.ca/~enoch/Readings/The_Art_Of_War.pdf

Literally, that script is EXACTLY how I feel about this person. Flawless delivery.

I did! It got me alienated from my child. Along with a host of other things before that while exposing them. Also figured out this person was secretly trying to manipulate a way to kill me and make it seem like self defense.. get away and stay away. Once you you know, you GO!

One word. No! 1. It won't change anything, they cannot get "well'. 2. It could put you in danger. 3. Move along, block, and thrive after the withdrawls subside.

Agree knowledge is POWER, my ex came out of no where few days ago, had my Grandson with me and tried to start conversation with him, he only 8 so I basically told my Grandson this is your mum's dad I introduced them and went bk to loading my car with messages and once my ex knew wasn't going to entertain him he was gone, my ADORABLE GRANDSON got into the car all nice and calm and said his name and I said ya that's him and he told him 'Nana Sue your to pretty for him' my heart just melted to see this little man in my life and the regard he holds for me is just ADORABLE AND HE IS LOVE OF MY LIFE, he often says asks about his Mum's Dad and why he was so unkind to me and my children, don't give him whole pic but does realise he WASN'T NICE.

It's tough when they hoover, and use some lie, for instance their mother passed and not sure they are going to be ok...That was my text after 30 days of no contact and discard. I had to think about it.. So I engaged and said "sorry for your loss". A few days later another text "missing you in my life" I replied miss you too. A few days later another text "so sad without you" I said well I suppose we have to learn our lessons in all this as we walk apart. Couple days later the text read "don't want to walk apart" I could feel the heat rush to my head, and thought who the hell do they think they are? It's all about their needs. Mind you the narc discarded me. I realized this was my chance to crush this monster..I said well I do want to walk apart, I'm healing my heart after being discarded like a piece of trash, and iced out. I said you need help, don't contact me again. I have to say that felt great, it's not easy but it was necessary to stand in my power..I didn't fall in the narcs trap, instead the narc fell in their own trap...God and these videos were my resources to know I was being set up. Thank you Paula for all that you do to bring awareness to these demons..

My advice is exactly what this video said. It will drive them crazy and there’s nothing they can do. We just have to accept they are who they are and we can’t have them snakes around us.

Telling the truth about them to the community is effective I have found.

This video brought me to tears. I will not try to “rationalize” (something that one cannot do with a narc) any more. For myself, I’d rather head towards the light as you suggested. After all, it is where I came from. I refuse to try to “enlighten” that dark, abusive, torturous vampire who would snidely respond how concerned they are about my mental state. To no avail would it serve me. Thank you Paula and forum for your shared insights. I’m so grateful for all of you.

The experience of the marriage and relationship I had I was never confident enough to confront him. In my opinion doing so could subject yourself to real danger. Stay safe.

Indeed this is a spiritual war. Pray, love, kindness. Invite God to help you and them. Keep Christ first.

I exposed the narc post discard as I was learning about NPD after suffering a lifetime of abuse. We live in a very small town. Although I have cried tears over his new supply at the injustice of this abuse, feeling powerless to stop it and save other women like myself, I recognize that I escaped cleanly because he moved in immediately with her, the unknown mistress and not so new supply. Everyone in my circle (and then some!) now knows about the abuse, the lying, cheating, alcohol abuse, prostitutes, maybe cocaine use. Seems like the narc injury is too great for him to return and live in his own house - Mr. Nice Guy busted! But it did not give me closure. And yes I did question my safety and I don't know if I will be 100% safe. So far so good but I know that I don't know the half of what he got up to. I am clinging on to the light and am miles ahead from a year ago. Would I call him out if I had had the info I have now?? Probably because of my own emotional state and I did not witness his rages, only heard about them. I would recommend NOT calling out because it doesn't bring the satisfaction you want it to and they might be far more dangerous that you ever imagined. Stay safe, stay the course, stay in the light, it does get better💞

I took a different path and it was very helpful for my closure. Told her I knew exactly what she was, but did not state anything about NPD, cluster B, psychopathology, etc... And also told her that I knew her biggest fear was being exposed as a cheater. Just enough info to keep her guessing but not enough to be used in a counter-strategy. She is afraid of being exposed, so she would never try to cross my path again. She wouldn't be able to find me if she tried though, I made myself unreachable. This IS war and narcs need to learn we fight back.

good points! i would say, no, don't tell them, don't egg them on; it's actually a form of getting even. Scripture says, Vengeance is mine saith the Lord (Romans 12:19). the only thing i'd say, if i could, would be, "The Lord rebuke you"... (Jude 1:9). keep praying and ask others to pray for you that you can get to the point of actually praying that God would bless them ...and you, go about walking in the Light and Love of the Lord, focusing on HIs mercies and doing good to all who are in your path.

I didn’t have to tell my best friend for 45 years she was a narcissist, she came to me and said, so and so told me that you said I was a narcissistic b*tch. I’m not sure of my response as it happened 3 months ago. But since I’ve taken my life back and gain my own identity and control over me and my things I’ve been on top of the world. Happy confident me who knows my value in the world and to others. 🙂

He ruined my life because even though I’m out of the relationship his maniacal demonic abuse has stained my mind forever.

I read about how dangerous this can be but it ate me up until I decided I was going to let her know. The reason being she had discarded me a few months already and tried a couple of hoovers. I decided not to use the word Narcissist, toxic personality sounded better. Anyways she used to have an alias she used on social media and I wrote her a message to let her know I knew who this alias was. I explained how kind and considerate the alias was and she was the masked front that the world saw everyday. I then went on to explain who I had seen, the toxic person behind the mask, the damaged child, the fraudster. I headed round to the whole reason for my explanation which was to explain it would be futile and a complete waste of time trying to come back, I knew who she realy was, the game was up. I also explained I kept everything she had written and spoken live to me and sarcastically how I would keep it for ever as a reminder. I ended it with a James Bond type ending, you know the " good by Mr Bond " line. She responded by telling me I dont get to see what no one else sees and that I was the toxic Narc, a predator. I finished it with a final cheers babe, have a great day, I got a life to get on with. That was nearly 8 months ago and so far its been blissful silence, nothing. I,m not sure if I would recomend this though, not unless you have plenty of threat to counteract any reprisals. She might well return one day in the future but she only see a grey wall facing her.

That's amazing Paula because the very last thing she said to me on messenger is "I am your friend"

I agree with you Pola. We must stay in the light and do not expose the narcisist. They will expose themselves If we stay true to the truth and close to God.

I didn't go supernova, I went hypernova. He knew I was catching on. It was thought out, focusing on his behaviors. My objective was to make myself hoover proof as possible. I don't care if he smears me, we don't live in the same town or share a circle of friends. All ties are cut. I'm more than happy to be the villian in his story.

I did it indirectly through social media. It wasn’t an account that his friends could see as I had cut contact. At first he was trying to say I was the Narc, but I hit back with knowledge that was beyond his comprehension and he very quickly took down that account. He did come back again playing the victim saying I walked out when he in fact left me. I just continued to post my holidays and parties with friends. He eventually removed all his posts having a dig at me and went quiet. I know I shouldn’t have looked but I was addicted. I now feel more at peace. I am the type of person who has to have the last word so I found it too difficult to remain quiet, but I feel very satisfied. I believe one day someone else will tell him the same and that makes me feel good because he genuinely believes he is a good kind person. I’m still in recovery and every day is tough, but I know I’m getting closer to getting that idiot out of my head. I’ve stopped looking at his social media and concentrating on my own happiness. Thanks Paula, your videos always help xx

I am someone who told the narc they are a narc psychopath and in the 48 years of dealing with them I told them I had always seen thru them but that I had always loved them unconditionally . I have explained to them how they became that way and that I understood them. We both were abused as kids but I'm not a narc I'm a super empath but I won't lie to anyone I tell her the truth about herself I'm only one who has stood up to her with total honesty . I know she's afraid of me for I'm covered in the blood of Jesus and I wear the armor of God and the demon in her is afraid of me it has attacked me verbally three times within two months last year and I wanted to get the demon out of her but decided I might not be qualified for that yet and shouldn't do it alone so I walked off and left her home to never go back so when I left she messaged me to tell me to never come to her home again and never call her again this is about the fourteenth time in 48 years she has discarded me for 26 years of the 48 years I hid from her even thou at that time I didnt know what a narc was i just knew I had to get away from her cause I had been traumatized by her all those years .then two years ago we reconnected on facebook but now I knew about. Narcs from y'all Drs. On utube . She fooled this time by speaking of God and Jesus to get me to trust again when we reconnected but I soon figured that out so our friendship only lasted two months after 26 years of separation because she discarded me because now that I knew about narcs I didnt let her control me as in the past and she went no contact and this affected me again because I really her and didn't want to lose her again so now I'm still working on getting away from her again and getting over the pain of it all we have very little contact on FB she follows on it and spies on me at home by riding by my home . I found out she got a group of people tricked into being friends with her and they have been trying to destroy me with witchcraft blackmagic voodoo and spells but it's had no affect on me because im covered in the blood of Jesus and with the armor of god . But because I care about her I'm having problems with emotional hurt I'm working on by myself it's been hard I decided tonight I have to let go of her on FB and put her out of my life again and it's hard . And she's getting worse I've been told she has sexual addiction now with multiple partners and possible alcohol and some drug addiction .I'm 73 and she's 77now and I've spent most of my life trying to help her and over come my problems too of sex molestation and a emotionally and mentally abusive father . Without God I would not be alive . Thanks for listening. Laurieahna summer rain knight .

I did tell him. 43 yrs together and I told him. I rightously humiliated him! I got free for 2 yrs in 1985 but I didn’t even know the word narcissist. So 2019 I decided to find out what is wrong with my husband. Through therapy learned he couldn’t attach. 2 years for me to digest that. Then he told me he had no empathy and seems to be 2 people sometimes but he is not. That lead to me filing for divorce may 2023. I told him you will never take my self esteem never will I be you. I am giving caring. You are pure evil. Jealous envy superior dominate controlling full of shame and the only help for you is Jesus Christ. Oh wait that’s right you are God. You need warning tattooed on your forehead

I have seen for myself It runs in the family. My ex narc whose mum and 5 th auntie are narcissist. My ex learnt from her mum and 5th auntie. She observed and informed me the narcissistic abuse her daughter went through. She admitted she is naturally narcissistic and capable of cruelty naturally. She admitted communication with demons and hear their crying frequently. I didn't know about narcissist back then. Married her and she destroyed my family, friends, jobs, company, colleagues and took away my properties. Worst of all she coached our children to abandon me. In all our life I was the only provider, I work, I cook , I wash, I built the house, I maintained the cars , I taught the children from ABC . Yet I was abandoned, rejected, abused and scolded by our children whom all 4 I financed until all of them got their degrees. Even my houses have been taken from me. I now live in a walk up flat at 62 years old. Narcissist will bide their time and destroy you when you start to bleed.

We were watching a war themed movie one evening, and when I reacted to the deception of the "winner", he turned to me and said, "All is fair in love and war." I did have the satisfaction of calling him out, on more than one occasion. However, I was careful with my delivery... I always framed it more or less as a possibility rather than judgement. I do not recommend letting them know that you KNOW. In hindsight, the charade lasted much longer than it should have. My curiosity got the better of me, but that's just how I roll. I tend to let people sink themselves so that I have no regret. I thank God for that ability.

❤Thank you Paula for spreading knowledge! HELL NO!! Do not tell them anything! My ex- made me pay & diagnosed me as the dangerous narc. Bribed my attorneys, psychiatrist, police & had me assaulted. Protect yourself! My children are alienated from me too...It was a disaster!! 💞💞💞Be careful!! Love & peace to all!

I have encountered such situations with my brother who is demon (Narcissist) Knowledge is power..I gained enormous amount of knowledge from channel like yours. I EXPOSED him in a balanced way so that people knows what he actually is as well as I do not overdo it and then ignore him altogether in whatsoever ways. There was Narcissistic rage obviously, but I stayed composed and observed the backlash. This is what I have learnt. 1) Gray rock no contact, don't care attitude are solid foundation. 2) Being positive, focusing on your own goal. uplif yourself spiritually. 3) don't buying in to their bulies. not taking Gaslighting personally. Being with like minded positive people. 4) Tactfully handling flying monkeys. Keep flying monkeys away from your life. responding not reacting. Being BRUTALLY truth. stand on your own ground. 5) Be safe, asses their potential steps and be prepared for all the odds. 6) Don't expect fair dealing with them. don't try to change them as they do not change most of the time. 7) focus on your own life and growth. This will drive them crazy. 8) Don't justify yourself. If someone really know you they would see it through. 9)) Be very careful of whom you are interacting with - There are certainly many individuals who will show you that they care for you but they can betray you. They can be narcissist agent. 10) In this path, you will get to know who really cares for you and who is not. May be you will be left with 20% individuals. Don't engage with rest of 80% much and forgive them and pray to god that they may understand it some day. 11) Don't provide any sort of Narcissistic supply to them. NONE. Financial emotional or anything else. 12) Be unpredictable. Surprise them with decision and activities which was not expected. Don't give them control. be inaccessible if you can. 13) BLOCK them all channels.. phone, social media etc. Don't share your secret and weakness. 14) Don't argue with them. You cannot win. Don't criticize anyone in front of them. They are master manipulators. 15) Finally, Don't return back. Leave them. Do not track them whether they are doing well or not. 16) Don't loose your Temper. Be calm and composed.Walk away if you feel that things are getting argumentative and can become worse. These could take some time to get mastery with conscious practice, however trust me it is doable. You will discover that you are NEW you! LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE!! All the best in your healing journey. ✌️

NO I just left 4 week ago Blockt all kontakts .After 65 year And now my Dad 92 can try to get me.Now I have to get my life on track.I dont even know what that is.I hope I can get myself together .

I told him even though everyone told me to run. The more I educated myself the more I had to say something because everything he said was narccistic. I explained how people get to be that way too. He made a big joke about it at first. Watched some videos. Then told me he couldn't believe I thought of him like that since he had proved to me he loved me and did everything for me. I never asked him to do everything for me...his behavior got more and more controlling. Smiled at me all the time. I couldn't walk across the room and not get a comment. I couldn't clean anything without a comment. He seemed to be on an emotional HIGH, ADRENALINE, for over a month. We got a dog in that time period and walked it so hard one day in 106 degree weather that it came in and passed out from the heat. I had to doctor his burnt little pads cause they were burned. He was jealous of the dog within 24 hours of getting it. I returned the dog and caught hell for it. He as much said it was his last hope of controlling me

..Keep doing what you do Dear Paula❤🙏Shinning The LIGHT...

I agreed 👍 💯 percent narc con. In my case, I don't need to expose 😤 🤧 🤪 my narcissist abuser. Because everyone involved already knows from witnessing his toxic behavior. Fabulous content 👌 👏 ✨️.

I wasn't quite so nice. When I met up with him, I was prepared. I was in his car. I don't know what came over me. I looked at him and said I CAN'T STAND U ANYMORE, I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU, AND I WANT TO GET RID OF YOU." He was shocked! I got out of his car, got into my car and drove away. I was NOT frightened bcse I carry a stun gun (legal in my state) and I left my flashers on in my car. I was not frightened. I never saw him again. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH ABUSE. I took a big chance but I feel so much better since he rebounded and got married. I don't recommend this at all, but I was desperate to get rid of a greedy narcissist.

Very early on in my research, before the videos, I was still quite naïve as to what this disorder really entailed. I told my ex narc that I thought she had some “narcissistic traits.” At that time, still quite naïve, I thought it was something we could discuss and work through. Of course, now, empowered with the knowledge of who these individuals truly are, I wish I hadn’t. I was told I was the narcissist. I was sent links to videos to prove that, not only was I the narcissist, I was a covert, narcissist, “the worst kind of narcissist.” I was sent a link to a video about the acronym CRAVED to prove I was the narcissist. I watched the video, wondering if, in fact, it was true. It wasn’t. She then relished in the fact that at least she’s overt and obvious and not covert and insidious. In my years of therapy since this happened, I have learned that she is what is referred to as a hybrid. She is both overt and covert. Thank you so much for posting this video. I am coming to your videos sometimes a year or two after you posted them, but I am certainly getting a lot out of the content. Thank you for all you do!

Once I detect someone is a narcissist I immediately do Grey Rock Method because I know all they want out of me is a reaction and the only way to win that game is to not give them a reaction. Then I go no contact.

I love the warfare analogy. I will implement this thought while I run away.

A part of me wouldn’t just like to tell her exactly what I think of her, but I’m carrying so much anger that I personally could give her a good wollap. I know that telling people who they are is usually just relieving tension for ourselves in the moment - but with hindsight being clear, it’s never needed and is better not to. Just in case there is any dangerous turn.

I told one of the many flying monkeys in the very early days of researching covert narcissists. The result was I believe that different women who worked at my workplace came out of the woodwork. One in particular became Single White Female copying my hairstyle etc, stalking and was actually sacked. I've now left that environment and 3years on at peace but wholly aware of the spiritual battle that lives around us.

And thank you. So we'll put. They can react violently no matter how calm and respectful you are especially if you tell one you want to leave. Best to be boring and slowly move secretly far away

Excellent, excellent information! Everything you would love to say! You may get 2 minutes of well deserved validation..for yourself and that’s it. In the long run, the rage in them will go to a new level…you will always be on their mind….even in a more hateful way if that’s even possible. You will be watching your back for a lifetime… In my healing journey, I keep the focus on me…stay in the light…found my true self to love and take care of…and for the rest of my life will stay “no contact”. If you have kids…gray stone with dignity, integrity and respect for yourself…the good person you are…your children will love for that. I journaled what I wanted to say…and gave it to God…God is so good 🙏…I know He will take care of everything, it’s thy will, not my will…Stay in the light🌟

I made the mistake of telling her. She now doing everything to alienate me from my children whilst still living in the same house. Along with the silent treatment. I prepare myself she will resort to the extreme. Since I realize my mistake, I haven’t brought it up anymore.

Patiently stand firm in the light. Your help will come.❤

First, let me say thank you so much for your help in freeing me from a lifetime of devilry from my birther. I went no contact in May after finally seeing her for what she is. I hadn't however blocked her on Facebook. For some reason, pity I'm sure. She was severely abused emotionally. Fast forward...I started posting information about how to spot a narcissist because she has my adult children brainwashed and I wanted to try and undo that damage. Bad idea because after not making contact with me since the beginning of no contact, she randomly showed up in my driveway blowing her car horn. She really thinks she's owed something from me since she pushed me out I guess. Anyway, it was scary. My dad died after two weeks of stonewalling. He hadn't succumbed to it but had broken free and was planning to move out. On the day he died, I spoke to her and all she could say was "he's killing me" in the most disturbing voice I've ever heard from her, and I've heard some sickness from her before. She lives a mile from me. I deactivated my Facebook because I don't want her to kill me too. She once just randomly out of the blue said to me she had considered if she could ever shoot one of her own kids. What kind of sicko says stuff like that to their kid? Granted I was a grown woman, but still. She keeps her pink pistol on her side table beside her Bible 🙄.

Believe it might be dangerous to confront them. Better to ask them “ do you feel there’s something wrong with you “?? Because you’re all time breaking “ all good rules” for life? Can u tell? If they get really mad and it iMIGHT be dangerous if they feel threatened by you or your knowledge This is something to be warned about!! If you want to live