The Narcissist Will Fail When You Understand This Double Manipulation 

,,A healthy person doesn't use your hopes and desires as a currency" thanks for this.

I was surrounded by condescending and judgemental people growing up. I had such low self-esteem. I thought I had to work to be loved. I came from a toxic family who had no idea of what love really is. Everything was conditional. It was a very unhealthy place for me to stay emotionally and physically. I realized I am better off alone than being in an abusive relationship.

_One of the easiest 'tests', whether you are dealing with a narcissist, IS TO SAY 'NO' TO THEM and watch how they react to it -because they cannot STAND being told 'no'!_

They control you with the illusion that they care for you. Yes

Hope is a dangerous thing. Clinging to a dream that slowly becomes a nightmare, we get lost in the maze. They are predators. We are prey. They may give you your heart's desire but will immediately pull the rug out, causing you to slip and fall into their deadly embrace. Like a cat with a mouse, they poke at the bleeding spot until you are lifeless, and they are satisfied,

You're the best one who does this because you see the evilness and aren't shy about saying it.

Oh yes. I was heading down that road of suicide. Nobody understands you are being driven out of your mind(even I didn't get what was wrong so I blamed myself). It's exactly like the old 1944 movie Gaslight. Anyone here going through NPD abuse should watch that movie!!!

My narc came into my life very quickly after my husband died. He was my handy man to help me around the house. Over time he wormed into my heart. What a BIG mistake. We have been together three different times and broke up, every time was more abusive. The latest and last time was a few weeks ago. This third time around made me really see what he is, a grumpy, cheating, lying. boring man. Yuck

I have probably mentioned this before, but you are getting younger and younger looking. It is amazing the difference in a person, the longer they are away from a narcissist. You literally physically change. It is like you revive and come back to yourself. You begin to validate yourself, you realize that needing that from other people was what was making you vulnerable. You begin to use your talents again. And to ignore all narcissists. Literally ignore them. They are thick and we learn that being alone is just fine and a safe place to be. I don't hate being alone at all. It is safe, and I value myself now. You are really an insightful person and I have really gained a lot more insight into what happened to me. You have helped so many people, there are literally 1000s of us. And those that survive put their hands out, and they give a safe place to be able to talk about all of this. I have been listening to you for a long time now, and I appreciate what you have done to help all of us, when we thought things were pretty unfixable. Thanks!!!

Anyone who has experience with this type of relationship will get this. It challenges rational thinking but exposure to these individuals make you reevaluate all societal norms. These people have a different master. Thank you Paula ❤️

Very encouraging reading--- Narcissists take full advantage of your times of weakness: disappointments, failed relationships, illness, death of family or friend. They are there to take advantage when you're down. They appear to be sympathetic and encouraging, a shoulder to lean on, they win your trust---all the while they are setting you up! They have no shame!

Oh GOD I wish that you can save even just ONE person from the ; Nice guy MASK.

I have had no choice but to cut ties with all of my siblings and cousins to get away from the narcissists.Strangely I don’t feel lonely but free

Yep....he caught me when I had just made it to a new city and grieving both parents. But my God am I stronger now!

Cheating, lying, stealing, manipulation, etc etc, I did see all of that , clarified as red flags., ignored. I saw POTENTIAL in something deceptive, that's all. God Bless

They are the biggest hidden teacher on how to show ourselves self-love. I am very grateful for my narcs, even if I almost took out my life when I was in the abuse. The contrast once you wake up from the reality is like being in heaven.

Why these ppl even on the earth I hope the almighty take care of them

It’s more than toxic! These people stole my money & my house!!! It wasn’t just my husband but a woman who wanted him so she wouldn’t be alone & have money when HER husband divorced HER!!! It wasn’t one person involved but a CORRUPT PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR & people in my neighborhood!

Very important video for everybody. Most people will be stung, by these evil people.

I always wanted to get into farming. Especially hay farming. I went online on a specific dating site and. I met a local “ farmer” come to find out he was a Narcissist and his farm was a giant trap to reel people in .

At the start the Narc loved me playing the guitar 🎸 she would sit and listen for ages. 10 years later..... I was only allowed to play my guitar in my own house when the Narc wasn't present. This gradual turnaround was all the work of the covert Narcissist.

Even though I didn’t know of the terminology, I still feel conned by him. They are con artists and coverts never tell you anything other than mirroring you. You fall in love with yourselves, never them. They are wolfs in sheep’s clothings. The devil cannot get to you, so they send them,Let that sink in👹👈🏻

That’s so right - they want to stop good from being done in the world. Very true.

I've found it helps to NOT be ashamed of things I've done and to be fine with a things I've said or done if they get publicly shared. It takes away that power they think they have over you. If they try to use things I've said or done against me I'm just like muh 🤷‍♀️, it is what it is.

So clear, explains everything! ❤️ I know today, after being in a relationship with overt and now the last thing with covert. Almost 6 months of zero contact and I've accepted what I've been in, a lot of red flags I noticed, but repressed them. Because I lived in it before, I still knew the cycle of violence, but the coverts are really dangerously manipulative, lived together for five years. Gradually in my processing I saw red flags already after a week into our relationship. Some coffee beans on the coffee maker, mobile phone thrown against the wall. Work a lot on myself, love being single! ❤️ Tip, say NO, when you don't want to! Then you know what you are dealing with. If you say yes to Everything, you say No to yourself. Take care, 🙏❤️ Tack Paula, 🥰

I mean no disrespect to nobody and I'm saying it was sincere love when somebody tries to turn around and fix you and you're a grown person and you have not asked them for their advice etc etc yeah that's that's a trip.

I am not co-dependent he was... I feel that this was very spiritual, a dark energy that tried to take me down, it only brought me closer to God. 8 months! Good luck to Jason... sold his soul away. Free will! I’m so happy I’m out! I’m still sick a year later, but triumph is on its way!... on my way!!! And my childhood was amazing!

♥️♥️🙏Bravo , Paula ! Another great brilliant enlightening video , we ARE stronger together in the Narc Con Army 💪!! Narcs are brilliant at glorifying and then destroying us ! One of the differences between an empath and a narc is that as empaths we recognize and acknowledge our desire for affirmation , and the narc will home in on this an use it to make us feel weak or needy ! It's a method of undermining any confidence or self identity we might have in order to gain control and feel superior . The ironic thing is that in reality no-one needs affirmation MORE THAN THE NARC , because they live to impress , it's just they are far to stubborn , selfish and proud to EVER admit it ! They are a sham , all front , and are deeply insecure and damaged inside !

Yep I was the black sheep of the family.. always on the outer. All I wanted was my own family. The narcissist and I were in a relationship for 6 years and in this time obviously I’d grown very fond of her family . I finally felt like I was in a good place .. we were trying to have a family, (a child) but the whole time she was busy having affairs and planning my discard ..absolutely wicked.. I not only lost her but her family as well. Triple whammy.. then she she sued me falsely for abuse

Hope and fear. Suicide was a lingering thought avenue. Deepest darkest despair left me shattered on the floor realising I was now trapped into someone elses reality. A total stranger like i never existed. Almost worked! Hell on earth recovering still. Post trauma growth is ahead of me now.

Every word spoken here so true

Great Video. A narcissist is a dark energy that invalidates you as you are supposed to bow down and worship the ground they walk on. Meanwhile, you are supposed to beg for a crumb as they decide not to give it to you. So they breadcrumb you until you have no value left.

demonic to the core, its not human

Yes they will eat your years like a vampire suck you dry of love hope trust faith .leave you depressed empty . yes it's getting bad I was underhandedly treated with contempt made fun of in a low key way by The Narcissist and his narcissistic mother.. people I thought were Christians people I admired I've seen what evil was and it's very sneaky and it definitely a wolf in sheep's clothing...

Yes those that have done the work don't listen to those who tell you that you are attracting what you are or that you are weak. You still get them coming your way after doing the work. The difference is they will not get far

That's the narc demon's FAVORITE saying...." I'm just TRYING to HELP you...." He is....🙂🤮 Thank you Paula!!

The part where you said " if they stop you from doing good, that's dark" it hit home. Very helpful, ugh sis, thank you ❣️🌹🌈

This woman Paula is such an amazing blessing. her videos are a blessing there are thousands of people who can't afford therapy thousands of people who can't afford even the simplest thing of counseling .it's all they can do just to survive you're videos and the enlightenment that comes from them reaches across the oceans it reaches into your private home to help guide you and protect you to educate and enlighten. I wish i had found these videos 8 years ago but at the time I didn't even know what I was looking for or even what it was called. one thing I do know I am blessed to found this woman on RU-vid...all of the speakers on narcissism and the mental abuse that it's caused ...I've heard several say this should be tought in school and I totally agree there's definitely something going on in the spirit world in the world we live in . that this is getting brought to life and people becoming aware it's a movement in perpetual motion better late than never.

wow Paula...im so educated by the way you explain what we all have experienced. I hope that I have permission to share to facebook and a few others. These are gems needed by survivors and thrivers 🥰💣💥💥

So true on the part where you lose the ability to make a difference in the world. I couldn't work as an addiction counselor for 2 years. I loved doing that. I couldn't function. I'm back to work and now able to help other woman and men clients showing signs of narcissistic abuse. They used substances to survive and numb the harsh reality of the abuse. I relate to this video on most things said. He didn't isolate me but he tried. He knew I was strong and he always told me I was . He knew I was lonely being single for a long time but he was careful because he also knew I was taking no crap in the dating scene from other men. I think his interest in me was more about a challenge to see how he would gain power over time. And I truly loved him enough to fight for the relationship. And of course, I was the only one fighting until I had to save myself so, I planned the discard for new years 2021 and haven't seen him since Christmas 2020. He was so kind to send me a new years picture of he and his other woman/ supply with a smirky smile.

Yeah she ripped my heart out. Cheated lied manipulated then devalued and discarded me. All those memories where fabricated and an act but sadly made me feel something real. One way street of hurt and emotional pain

I love how you so beautifully express yourself about such a dark topic!! Any dealings with these soul suckers is toxic to us!! Always helpful!! Be blessed🙏🏻🦋❣️

Absolutely agree with you Paula. The last narcissistic brother and sister team literally tried to bulldoze their way into my life and personal business. Offering help I didn’t need or ask for. I said no thank you several times. I didn’t them for help moving, but kept trying to interject themselves with the move. I’ve always been targeted by these types and I was extremely vulnerable at the time. I had lost my husband and mother 3 months apart and still in a grieving process. I guess they picked up on some of that and that’s why I was targeted. Their ultimate plan was to move into my house in California. I do believe god showed me as a wake up call to these evil people in a way I would truly finally get it. They were obvious and I was protected even though it was a necessary lesson to learn. I now see the early red flags and god willing will never fall prey again

I really think you have the spirit of God within you guiding your words and phrases as you so perfectly sum things up on such an accurate detailed manner. All the words I haven't been able to speak for myself, so healing. Keep it up, your doing good work and Jesus continue to bless you and your mission.

very Good,you're spot on about 'them'.

Been attacked since I was a child.by both parents ..siblings and cousins..many narc relationships..wth...Thank God I had a spiritual awaking after mom died..and I get it now..some(many) people chose satan over God...not perfect but my savior is

Fear of abandonment, yes

"Getting to know You" is the song that popped into my head while listening to this video. And "You're just too good to be True". Their philosophy is there's a sucker born every second.

She was elegant, spiritual, no tattoos, soft spoken, attentive, and adventurous and not afraid to get her hands dirty. Told me I was a natural leader and that I could do anything when I put my mind to it. She sucked me in completely, had me doing everything for her, and in the end shredded me to pieces.

Agree. When did the word empath become a thing. We're just 'emotionally healthy' or 'normal'. It's crazy how having empathy has become an extreme, when it's really just a normal part of being human. Or should be.

Or an Empath. I saw the red flags straight away. It was 20 years single and I just thought just have fun and then BOOM. Best lessons ever. Sometimes it's not all about the Narcissist it's the Lessons !!

Wow I remember having an ex that did romanticized me and even helped me with certain things and gave me gifts which I never really asked for and this was in the beginning of our relationship and sometimes in between. My ex said that I needed to pursue my talents but yet I was so mistreated and neglected I'm doing so much for this person that I realized that they didn't even have my best interest at heart.

Great video. "Mini discard". Love this term.

Paula ,..we tend to think of your forum as a safe refuge for recovering empaths , so it shocks me when occasional there is a strange or off comment about your content or some of the others kind comments ! It never crossed my mind that the ODD narc might pop up here from time to time , quite creepy ! Just shows us they are everywhere ,..but also just how toxic AND predictable they truly can be ! Stay alert and strong everyone ,..the Narc Army may be infiltrated occasionally ,..but it will NEVER be downtrodden or beaten by ANY unwarranted abuse ! 💪❤️🙏

Listening to what you're sayingt reminded me of an ex that was always Moody even when there is nothing wrong even when we came home from a nice event this person had an attitude this person was indifferent and I realized that it happened every time I was happy and I didn't feel good enough I started feeling like scared and fearful that this person would leave me and that I need it to do as much as I could to make this person happy. I was so tired because I was using so much energy on this person and by the time that this person pushed me away I was so devastated and felt so guilty. I have Educated myself for many many years on narcissism and psychologically and now I don't want anything to do with people like this.

"Forced help" no truer words have been spoken

“Two pronged approach … very hard to detect”. .. I believe that was what I experienced …. Distanced myself from …. Thank you, Paula

Paula, Would you do a video on narcissistic friends? I am female and I had a few long term male friends with narcissistic traits that I let go from my life. I didn't live in the same city as them and only saw both of them once in a while, which, in my opinion, can make it more difficult to see a pattern of behavior. Both of these friends appeared generous. They would pay for lunch, dinner, etc when we got together. But what I realized, over time, is that they were paying for me to be their captive audience as they only spoke about themselves. It took me a while to figure out the dynamic since I did not see either of them very often. I guess my point with this comment is: just because people are willing to help you in some way does not mean it's free. And this happened throughout these two friendships. There were unspoken expectations on both of their parts. It can be confusing because on the surface, a person can appear generous. It's only over time that you see the totality of their behavior. Thank you very much for your time and effort in making these videos.

Very deep and well said. I hope others really listen and don't try to assert control. I urge people to take a step back. Pray for wisdom and protection. Your most likely gonna need it.

Becoming a spiritually whole person who accepts the reality in them and others is truly a wonderful place to find ones self. Knowing you are confident and happy within is a long journey. It gets easier once you can truly let go of everything. Everything and everyone. When the human plane has nothing more to offer that you desire, you're free. Let go of those who cannot or will not elevate you emotionally, spiritually, etc. Cut em loose and let them grapple scraps from someone else. It's a great feeling to no longer feel tied down by dysfunctional a holes who didn't give a damn to begin with.

That's it coach, A person that concentrates on your faults and what they can get out of you; is out to destroy you and leave you devastated for the rest of your life after they get what they want-facts. Thanks teacher.

Thank you for helping us with your knowledge!!!

This so true this exactly what I did and she hurt me

Paula I take my hat off to you....another great upload. I have watched a lot of your uploads, but I havant seen one when you get a narcissist who can do black magic on you....when you get one of these there the one's who if your not strong enough...send you crazy and make you won't to top yourself. If you havant got GOD with you, you will lose absolutely everything. Peace&Love&Light Namaste 🙏

I was at a very busy/vulnerable time in my life I had been raising my 3 young grandsons for a long time when we crossed paths again. I was lonely. Been divorced for 20 years. No relationships no time for a boyfriend etc. I would have never suspected he was a narcissist it took some time to figure it all out. He wasn’t verbally/physically abusive. He kept going back 2x to his ex just for financial reasons only. She had ghost him stole money etc I thought she was the narcissist- she was but so was he - I had enough after trying to help him get out of a toxic relationship & w cancer surgery I walked away period. He knew I had been very hurt by most of the men in my life including my biological father and my step father. I had been molested & abandoned several times as a child . He just didn’t care. Thanks for the message

Your words resonate so much, I would not have known myself as I do now if I had not had this experience, it has been a blessing in disguise, much love to all 💙💜💚

There seems to be a whole army of them now. Anyone on this site is a magnet for these creatures. Be aware of how this happened to begin with.

Wow I've heard some narcissist videos but the way that you describe narcissism and how we need to be careful is incredibly insightful and I am so grateful for your kindness and your help. 💖

Thanks for this, makes so much sense. I know so many narcissistic people who have been depleting me to no end. I am exhausted and depleted, and in pain. 😔

My ex-husband was diagnosed with narcissism before we split up. When we were dating the very first day I started going to a gym to work out he decided for the first time to cook me lunch. It was an elaborate multi course shindig that must have been 5,000 calories.

It Sucks so badly. After 7 years. He tossed me 4 or more times. I Let him come back Every Time!! This time He has left me in a worse situation. And Knew he was doing it. I put Everything into our relationship. Gave him Everything. I met him through my Father who was Dating Dudes Mother. And I should have picked up on the whole Well. Three selfish Pigs; And they Are! No Hearts at all The Mother OD in June 2022 I thought. Aww it's Over Now . Nope! He told me he was moving his mom's stuff into storage. I signed lease. I can't afford alone. He ghosted me. Moved into his Mother's Apt! I told him I needed money. Turns out He ironically got robbed day before he was supposed to give me money I'm Livid!! I know I'm better off! They don't change! Never Will!!

Omg thank you for this video. Now I understand me much better. I was feeling like a fool.

Utterly succinct....and deadly accurate, assessment. Many thanx...for explaining this insidious behaviour in such an erudite and incredibly pin-pointed manner. The buggers are downright...wicked! I make no over-statement...evil...is REAL and imho... 'denial' is downright...dangerous. Looking forward to your piece on 'the dark' side. Blessings to you and all of yours...

“A person that concentrates on your faults is not someone who loves you”. This really resonated with me as I’m navigating my current relationship with my Narc boyfriend. I’ve been going through this for months, but the last week has been particularly cruel and cold. Not only does he concentrate on my faults, but he actually makes up complete lies about me to convince me that they are faults that I have, when in reality these faults he claims I have are totally untrue. He knows it, I know it, but it doesn’t stop him from insisting that it is a true fault I have no matter how many ways I prove him wrong and show him evidence that he is fabricating this fault in order to use it as ammunition against me and to add another unacceptable fault to his list to prove to me that I am this bad person. The most recent fault he has fabricated about me is that I am abusing prescription medication. He just randomly makes up lies that I am using pain medication, given to me by my doctor for migraines, on a daily basis or whenever he decides to throw that into an argument when he has nothing left to criticise me about. To him it’s simple…if there’s nothing there to criticise, he just makes it up. This drives me crazy! Not only do I start producing scripts and the number of tablets remaining since the script for the meds was filled to show him evidence that what he is saying is completely untrue, but I get mentally and physically exhausted having to defend myself in advance to people that we know in case he starts to tell this lie to them. It’s like I always have to be one step ahead with him, and that is really difficult when you don’t know which lie they are going to make up about you next.

Thanks Paula, that was a really good piece of advice on what they do to prohibit our destiny. It makes me sick, as in my case it's my supposed 'mother', or ANTIMOTHER, more like.

My Narcissistic husband was doing all of this to me while his Narcissistic emotional affair partner was/is doing this to him. She has such a hold on him that he threw away our 22 year marriage. I’m really struggling with all of this, please tell me they’ll ruin each other??? This ‘thing’ of his was his childhood sweetheart and was on the verge of an emotional affair with him 13 years ago, until I found out and told him to leave. She knows what she’s doing and is currently on her fourth husband 🤦🏻‍♀️. They are both vile!! 😔🤍🤍

Thank you for making and uploading this video. Thank you! 🙂 Looking back, I can't understand anymore how I could actualy survive my ex-husband, who is a narcissist sociopath and heavy drinker. He even covered me with gas from his car and tried to put me on fire. To my luck, his lighter was damaged and I survived. He also tried to smash my head while sleeping, and with my baby sleeping right next to me. He did various aggressive acts in front of my children and one of my sons, the youngest one, is a result of such an action. When he later again belittled and gaslighted me and I had tears running down my cheeks, he told me to take the kids and drive against a tree to end our lives. This was the moment, when I realized, that our marriage is never ever going to work ut, no matter what I do. When the next incident happened, it was one of my boys, who told him to leave and never come back again. It took several months for him to leave and I had to have a young man to move in and be "my new boyfriend", so he would leave. My kids and I then lived in fear, because we were afraid he would do something. There had been a death of a close male friend, which was quite weird, and my then husband knew about even before he was found dead. Some years later, my housse was put on fire in the night, with my children and me sleeping in the house. In this night my whole life burned. My life was finally destroyed to a state, that my ex-husband was happy. The fire happened about 4 months after our divorse was legal. The weird thing is, that I never loved this man and his habits and looks also never pleased me. But he was love bombing me, also by using my first son, which I already had, so I got the feeling, that it is my duty to give in as he obviously really loves my little boy and vice versa. When I drove with my parents to the court house to get married, my father sayd to me, that I can still back off and wouldn't need to marry. He sayd, that if I would change my mind, we would just all have a nice dinner and everything would be fine. And to this day I remember my dad's words and I am so angry at myself to not have done as he had suggested. So I lived 14 years with so much pain and wounds, and still don't understand how I could manage to survive. Today I have cPTSD and still live in great pain and I still have this anger for myself fo not having given up on this marriage any sooner. Sadly, I will never be able to forgive myself.

Why does it take so long to come back to where I was before? 16 years of marriage, 16 years to unlearn?

no capacity for "HOPE"

And a MEGA CHURCH!!!

Exactly that: prison without walls! How to get out??

This is a really amazing video. Mind-blowing. I’ve been living this my whole life and couldn’t see it. Im very excited to hear the video on how they work together on the dark web. Thank you for your work

I am still learning hard lessons of narcissistic 💕 love bombing💕 tactic as you fill what they want from you ....just as quick as they discard you🤦🏽‍♀️

Red flags: My narc even had the gall to ask me during the love bombing phase if I was suicidal. His "er uh well I" a bit transparent. 3 discards later, the third being triangulation involving another in a confidence I shared during love bombing, he discarded me with projections, illogic name calling. We were both 76. He did the same in high school. I was there. His life one psychotic relationship after another. He is textbook. No contact 14 mos now after 2 year relationship. I was vulnerable during the pandemic. It took real work to get him out of my brain. Thank you for your gentle insight and strength.

That's right, it was NEVER their right. 💯

Thank you for this lesson I got alot out of this. 👍💯💡😊💛

Ugh, narcissists are our newest versions of svengalis. Smh! Paula, thank you for always bringing the heat/wisdom. The world needs more kind and helpful people like you. 🤜🤛

When I first met him, my dad had just passed away. So, I was very vulnerable. I fell for him quickly because of all the attention with the love bombing. It worked.

It’s about time that Demon Gets called out.

Thank you so much! This was very helpful from my last relationship.

Having a moment of shame for hanging on God so long and not seeing all the red flags with the baiting crazy making and reacting to it all!

When I first dated my narc husband I felt like I had known him my whole life and that I had at the same time just met him. How telling is that? I had a narcissistic mother and my narc husband's personality changed with the wind. I related to him because of my experience with my mother, but he was an enigma because his personality was a facade. I knew about some things in his childhood such as his bad experience of being sent away to a boarding school, but he never truly expressed the hurt that it caused. He just buried it and created a fake persona. -- Another point you mentioned: We see things as idiosyncrasies. I'm American and He's Irish and I just thought things might be done differently over there. 😂 Nope. Folks is folks. Worldwide we have norms that shouldn't be crossed.

Having been the scapegoat of the familiy I found myself in two longtime relationships with covert narcissistic men. Both used exactly the torture that I experienced as a child showing me being not worth anything (while TELLING something different of course to keep me in). To my parents I was the useful daughter for their daily needs while my sister was the golden child getting all money, much much money to get a university education an becoming a doctor. And what these two men in my life did to me made me feel small again, not worth a penny to spend for. But as my exhusband wasn't very smart I m sure all this is unaware or unconcious behaviour. Makes it even more frightening to me.

OK the point of this video is narc are emotional groomers. As a survivor of narcisistic abuse in childhood and former scapegoat and empaths, it has taken me a lot of effort to rebuild myself, have self compassion, healthy boundaries, and true expression of my authentic self, and finding the right people for me who are ok with me taking my space in the world, and me using my voice, and shining anyway no matter what. Thank God of course for the help in my journey. Yes narcs are groomers. If i keep healing and staying true to myself for me, because i want a happy thriving , free, expressive, connected to my true self and having selfcompassion and healthy boundaries, plus the healing that i have under my belt of 3 years from trauma , and one year of those healing my trauma, and understanding the in's and outs of narc abuse, i will see the redflags and not miss them. I will see their energy. And not miss it. ive dealt with them as adult. They are groomers. Its specially difficult in group dynamics. Because i notice narcs relatively quick, thanks to my healing journey and recovery, from it , and staying connected to my true self. The issue with narcs is they manipulate others. And in that regard others may not notice them, or may even have a symbiotic codependent relationship with the narcs and have too much loyalty for the narcs. Narcs can play some , and be their abusive self with others. Im interested in keeping my power and navigating a world that has narcissists but im interested in being a part of. I see the narcs because of my 3 years of healing, and i like people too, as an empath , i genuinly like connecting safely and getting my needs met , i have interest in different topics, and i like sharing my voice unapolagetically speaking my truth and staying true to myself , and explaining or discussing different ideas, and stating why i think the way i do, or sharing in places. See my healing journey has brought me selfcompassion and helathy boundaries and authentic expression of who i am and communication skills. Narcs dont like who they cant control. So i need to keep showing up for myself and in the world i want to show up for in places that aren't controlled by narcs they will be out there im not a victim to them, i see their redflags. I know there are settings like online meetings that are more easily controlled by narcs. I know i can be the leader also, a group starter i can do all these things, just like Paula started this channel, we who have survived narc abuse and just are for real now, and dont want to deal with their little games anymore, prefer authenticity selfcompassion, boundaries, honesty and genuinty, maybe are called to start things and create things because we can see whats healthy and what we dont want more clarly, and thats what i might be meditating on. Keeping agency, autonomy , individuation authentic selfconnection and expression selfcompassion and selfprotection, and gentleness. trusting God, and really seeing how i live a regulated and corregulated and connected life. I know God is guiding me there as i also do my part in healing, and staying true to me. Everybody in the world has insecurites and perhaps also trauma. We all do. and Its about having the selflove and selfrespect , to not be with shitty redflaggy people , a lot of that comes from the effort i have put into reparenting , and protecting and taking care of. myinner child along the years of my recovery and ofcourse God's help :)..... Im interested in winning, keeping power, staying true to myself, keeping selfcompassion, healthy boundaries, true expression and thriving, and being free..................................................... I like some stuff said here has been insightful , or confirming but i could spare the blow by blow account. Just in effort of keeping my power, and not retriggering things unnecesarily , getting triggered in terms of grief , or whatever is natural, but unecesary triggering something with the graphics no thank you. Ive identified that what i value most in life is freedom, justice and expressing and being connected to my sense of self, which came from self-compassion , and healthy boundaries , to connect to my inner child and true self. Narcs dont have a true self, they change they are in fact manipulators that are certainly demonic. They're goal is to dominate and will be cheap, dishonest about it. we all know that. Even if its attacking their own childrens self-worth. Its taking me a lot of time to heal because the places i went to weren't informed about narc abuse, or trauma. They treated the symptom that was alcoholism. I ve connected better what my trauma was and how bad of a narc my dad was. Trauma is the reason people become addicts to numb a pain. I prayed a lot to God for healing true healing. Im grateful i have gentleness, , , healthy boundaries that allowed my inner child and true self to reemerge, come out, express him self , because now theres a loving parent who can love honor and protect him, and make it safe for him and has his back! My inner child is a big part of my trueself, and we're willing to go to great lengths to stay true to him, and love him with selfcompassion, and healthy boundaries, so that he may feel safe to express himself with the right people, because now theres an adult who can protect him speak up for him and nurture him and theres an integration of my inner child as a big and key part of myself . Thank you God, and my collaboration in my recovery and healing to stay free and thriving with selfcompassion selfprotection and authentic expression. it is a spiritual battle aswell. Demons flee when they hear the name of Jesus

You are a genius to have made this video. I am impressed. Well done.

Fabulous explanation on this. From your video I learned so many things, I learned how the narc played on a vulnerable position I was in in my life. And also "entitled to citizens me in a high degree". AND yes he has taken YEARS OUT OF MY LIFE. I has no idea. :( they DO CREEP IN, LIKE A bug. Great insights here. Thank you!

NarcCon...your description of this is astounding. I want to reach for this video daily for a while. I feel I've been very slow in understanding this dynamic...to the point of constant and continuing over reaction to it...stopping me from listening more closely.

I was recently chatting with this girl who was in a relationship with a narcissist family member of mine and didn't think think that I would remember. I surely didn't bring it up and the conversation of meeting somewhere public and what would you like to do then? Well couldn't get a suggestion from her on that one. So I suggested to meet at the mall and agree to wear a blindfold for 10 minutes while the other one is holding your hand and describes the things around you that you can't see as they are watching your every step, for 10 minutes only. Well the next day she said she gave it some thought and said she wouldn't do anything like that before long people would start poking her with a stick pin making her a stick pig. Where did such a evil evil thought come from got me thinking ,I didn't want to meet her and find out what her he goal was and what her story was going to be about my relative she was involved with so I said I'm no longer Mr NICE GUY LOOKING FOR A NICE GIRL, BUT I WAS LOOKING FOR A MEAN ASS GIRL. SHE STARTED SWITCHING UP FROM THE STICK PIG STUFF TO THE MEAN ASS GIRL WOULD TAKE TAKE EVERYTHING I HAD ,AND I NEEDED A GIRL LIKE HER. I REPLIED THAT I WAS A HUMAN LIE DETECTOR THAT READS FACE, AND BODY LANGUAGE AND TEXT. AND I CAN'T HELP MYSELF FROM LYING TO THE PEOPLE WHO DESERVE IT, AND YOU DESERVE TO BE LIED TO ABOUT EVERYTHING AND I LOVED EVERY BIT OF IT AND FEEL I'M DOING A PUBLIC SERVICE FOR OTHERS. THAT'S WHY I'M BLOCKING YOUR SICK ASS. AND DID JUST THAT. I THREE DAYS SHE HAD PLANNED MY FUTURE AND NOT GOING TO BRING UP MEETING BEFORE AND SURELY WOULD HAVE HOOKED BACK UP WITH THE NARCISSIST RELATIVE AT SOME POINT AND COULDN'T TAKE A 10 MINUTE TEST FOR TRUST IN A CROWDED MALL. RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE

They flat out told me they know how too make someone nuts yeah that really woke me up

He already failed