Guy was only texting, I got annoyed, I decided to ask him if he had any plans for saturday, he replied back with a lame excuse, he continued texting and I just stop replying back, why waste my time?
They are bored and want attention, also might want to make you hang in there until they decide if they want to see you or not. And if they do it's prolly just to get laid.
If a guy acts like this, start talking to other guys because more than likely, he’s seeing or talking to someone else, so unless he steps up, don’t just give all your focus to him.
what if they're nervous to meet you? like maybe the girl is super pretty but the guy thinks he won't be able to live up to his expectations type of thing
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Do not tolerate someone who's just looking for penpals-you are potentially enabling a very unhealthy person who needs to take initiative getting help for their issues. I once texted back and fourth with a 38 year old guy for a year. It started to become disturbing realising that someone whose old enough to be married with children (another reason to not engage he may just be cheating 👀👀👀) had the habit of a broke teenager addicted to his screen. I stopped responding to his messages and he tried to contact me again, but I let it fizzle out, I'd given him more than enough time to initiate a date. It's a sign that person is unhealthy, socially awkward or thinks it's okay to engage with women he isn't interested in to boost his ego (UNACCEPTABLE). He needs to figure a way to stop relying on his phone for a friendship or relationship. Stop enabling them and stop responding if they won't meet you in person or talk on the phone. That person has something off about them and you don't need to prop them up with a pen pal thing, they need to work on themselves or whatevers stopping them from interacting with not just you but other people in real life.
To me if a guy don't reach out, especially in the beginning, I'm out. I've been burnt in love and learned a valuable lesson: better be single than in a toxic relationship.
This advice actually worked...I text the one about being a robot..he responded a day later...we text some more then I ghosted him. He later text me a long text about who he is and friend requested me on FB..too bad he took too long because while he was texting I met a man who called and stole my heart.
When a guy texts me a third time without having called, I respond by saying,, "who is this,? I think you have the wrong person." If he responds by texting I don't answer. Ever. I need the texting to be the exception, not the normal mode of conversation. Know your worth. You are worthy of a phone call and more.
Ashley Ramillano read the previous comments. Even when you do ask for a call. You might not get one or you may get called for a short period of time and then the guy still isn't interested
Shantell McShane no prob hes seeing someone else, and will come back to you when it fails, but still just someone to kill time with, so just bullshit, next!
@@redfather5342 It's not a matter of being entitled. If I'm seeing a man and sleeping with him, a phone call is necessary here and there. Honestly. Would you want to give your body to someone who you can't call in the event of an emergency? If the answer is no, you have respect for yourself then.
@@Khrystal-wl6kz you can't 'give' your body to nobody what kind of retarded logic do you have also just because some guy is fucking doesn't mean he owes you anything
I don't think I have the energy to go the extra mile like in a relationship if you only text me when your bored. If you don't like me enough to want to call me or hang out with me, why should I even bother inviting you places and texting you. If someone truly likes you, you shouldn't have to pull teeth for them to do more than just texting you. It's a waste of time. There's someone out there who would love to talk/hang out with you. That's just how I feel.
I think the problem is that guys like this generally won't change their behavior. They do it with the intent of keeping their options open, not just because they're flakey. Don't waste your time y'all, not even worth playing that game. Calling him out or even insinuating a phone call won't inspire him to try harder. These guys are THE WORST- apathetic as all hell and use you as a fall-back because your attention is convenient. Run for the hills the second you notice the pattern. You don't owe him no damn explanation.
N0LANI yea! The best way is just simply dont reply, leaving him like an idiot. I was dealing with a guy like that too, we girls can try give initative ONCE, like letting him know you are free & if theres no more action but just texting, stop replying. He uses you for his backup but we have the choice not being his backup, ill go meet some other guys until he proactively asks me out again.
chuckie826 You'll end up missing out on otherwise great guys. Communication is key in any relationship. Men are not mind readers and not all women are the same. Some women feel a guy is too pushy if he calls her. At least give him the chance to try.
They're are many reasons why he texts and doesn't call: 1. He has been staying with a very strict order of nuns who have asked him to join them in a vow silence. Texting is his only option. 2. He knows the Sister Wives would get jealous if they were to overhear. 3. He is green and red colorblind so he tries to call but keeps hitting "End" instead. 4. There is a really bad echo in his mom's basement. 5. He is hard of hearing since that insane Yanni concert and can only shout now when speaking. 6. He is a phone calling addict and he's on Step 5 of his recovery. One Day at a Time! 7. Guinness World Record Holder for Number of Marbles in Mouth. 8. Afraid to reveal he talks like Mickey Mouse on helium. 9. Shanking his cell mate means no phone calls, only texting, as punishment. 10. He's only setting the bar as low as you allow!!!
Dealing with one of these guys now. And he's always saying "I want to see you do this..." "We should do this..." "I wish blablabla so we could blablabla" and just never makes plans and when I try to he's flaky as fuck. It sucks. But I'm moving on now. Like you said, it's not attractive and it's just a bore.
Nope that's not the right way. You should call him out. If you don't do that, he will never know it was his inaction which made you drift away. He will think you found someone else
This is EVERY guy I've dealt with that I've met from online dating sites. It's pathetic. I've tried the cute flirty way & I've tried the nasty way that you mentioned lol It's very depressing that people nowadays lack humanity/respect for a person & behave cowardly. Thanks Matt!! Glad you know how to communicate 😄
I thought this was only me,I’m kind of relieved that I’m not the only one..EVERY single guy that I have spoken to from online dating is exactly this way.im done with it all now,iv spent so much time with online dating.
yOUR NOT THE ONLY ONE.SAME HERE! IS like a virus that spread,They are crazy, I was a nice girl,saying ok text during work,but at least one day per wek after woork,let saay thursday after 22 pm talk. I was called rude be ci wanna talk.i blocked them.Idont tolerate any bs anymore.i cut in raw meat.Next!
You’ve got to realize to where men are coming from has the guy been rejected because that can really bring him down a lot it’s awful to feel rejected so maybe that’s why guys don’t try
I am a grown woman who grew up before there were text messages or answering machines. I met a guy at a show last week. We chatted for a while and exchanged numbers. Then we parted company. He sent me a text message at 3 am “are you still up?” Next few messages were long questions about my career, personal life, etc. I felt as if I were filling out a job application. If the guy was truly interested in getting to know me he should have written “I am interested in seeing you again and getting to know you”. How about you? May I call you? The concept of meeting up for a date is a lost art. This man is about 45 years old. If he does not know how to ask a woman out in a date, he is a very poor prospect. Truth be told, dating is not a “magic meeting” guarantee for the man or the woman. I feel like a lot of guys want to hook up or just want to message when they think they are going to get some “action”. So lazy and such a turn-off. Most of my boyfriends I had known quite a while before the “magic” happened. A few cute text messages then a drink at my place? I don’t t think so.
I don't think it is really worth putting efforts for someone who communicates to you like that. It means that they are really not that into you. Not worth the effort to win them over.
I don’t like playing games. But for the sake of it, when the ball is in my court, I’m fair and check it back. But when he has the ball and suddenly takes eons to play again.... I take my ball and go home. No explanation no further contact. Just go.
Most of this advice kind of doesn't really get to the bottom of what the problem is. It is separating the guys that are interested and will put in the work of a relationship from the ones that don't. None of those "trick texts" do anything, nobody changes their tactics and how much they like you based on any of this. You are just going through a little "test" that helps YOU get that difference, who is interested/worthy and who is not. So now you know who to drop or they drop you. You can't make a guy that is not interested in your suddenly change around and like you and start calling and stepping up the dating behavior.
I am currently in this texting situation and I came across with this video. It breaks my heart, but what the video and comments here said is true. I should move on and make other opportunities elsewhere. I thought we had real chemistry. 😥
The same. It was only texting. It was fun, but it was too long. I cut him off. I do not think he will ever call me. Lately he has told me, that he actuallt doesn't like to text so much. So why didn't he call me? Why did he text with me so long? Out of boredom. I pressume
I'm actually in a texting situation rn. He says he's terrified with calling or video calls. So I respected it and never asked for it since then but I'm getting tired now 😔
Glad I watch this video man I swear this whole texting epidemic is absolutely repulsive I hope as human beings we will eventually move past this. Most people who only text all the time are usually just terrified of face-to-face communication/confrontation it really is a form of social phobia best thing you could ever do is just to not feed into it whatever you do do not text the person back if that’s all they want to do is just text.
Thank GOD I found this video. I thought I was the only one experiencing this and thought maybe I was doing something wrong. To be honest with me no shits are given anymore, I've just stopped replying to him. :)
4 weeks of texting after 2 dates turned ugly. I expressed my concerns ,that texting is a turn off to me.. I expressed hearing his voice would be better. Called him my penpal. Finally call it off by blocking him . Lol. Selfish , manipulative as he was dating others and was playing games apparently with me.
I could have sworn you were going to say "I've noticed something about you...you only text me when you are bored" at 2:48 lol maybe I am just a straight savage but I have texted that before and was even thanked for my honesty
I've always loved that Matthew gives women power. A lot of people accuse him of training women to give men what they want, but he's not. He setting a standard for focusing attention on the men that deserve it. How many women waste their time on people who don't give them anything. Yes, he talks about doing things that make a man attracted to you, but he also makes sure you know that you should never put up with bs from someone who hasn't done anything for you. He stresses having a life and pursuing goals before looking for a man because, incidentally, that will make you more attractive anyway. His videos have literally changed my approach to dating and showed me I should never tolerate being treated badly consistently because there are plenty more fish in the sea.
Lol good advice Mathew I just texted him “I don’t like texting, if you want to talk call me” he calls me 8 hrs later! I never answered and will never reply to his text again!
or they tell you they are on business trips expanding their business (when really probably with that wife that they married 3 years ago and bragged about online and forgot about the remark. I find it hard to believe someone can marry a 2nd time and divorce that fast).
No it means they dont have manners! Simple! I always texted right away wen i got a text. But i never got a response wen he red it. Thats rude ! And not well mannered. But now i give him a taste of his own medicine. Im done treated like shit.
Ugh tose types of guys are so annoying. I had a guy who texted me for 4 months and we only went out once.. despite him saying he really wanted to get to know me better and that he was interested, he kept rescheduling our dates because he said he was too busy with work.. but he never stopped texting me everyday all day. So I decided I wasn't gonna give him the time of my day anymore and started not answering his texts or distancing myself.. and he gradually but surely disappeared. Guess he just needed to feel that somebody cared about him which is kind of sad when I think about it.. but still, I learnt something from this at least!
saraiscixiri I'm kind of dating this guy right now that he don't text me you don't call me unless he needs a ride or something like that this is been going on for 2 weeks he's change Among the Sleep towards me he don't answer his phone when I call him he don't reply to any texts to me unless it's to do for him
I've been dating this guy for like 8 months and at first everything was all good but now he's changed you don't want to come over in my apartment he doesn't answer any text messages doesn't answer any phone calls and if I do call him he gets really upset I don't know what to do and when he does come over it's always at night time for sex and he leaves and goes home
Cindy James I'm afraid it's time to move on. It sounds like you want more than a casual relationship with him. This guy is just not prepared to offer that.
Just tell him "texting is void and virtual, if you are interested let's set a date to meet in person soon". Quit being afraid to say what you want. If he doesn't respond or say yes, you have your answer and can move on to someone who is mature and interested. Set the bar from the get go.
I'm a guy trying to get the girl i want and I have to say Matthew hussey you have helped me so much with your advice , I just reverse your videos from the girl wanting to get the guy to the guy wanting to get the girl.
I met a guy online and after he texted me a few days, I became annoyed that he lacked initiative. So, I texted him back, the "You looooooove to text," message. His response: "Is that okay?" Really dude... Ugh, such a turn-off. That was a signal that he was planning to pull that time-wasting nonsense for a very long time. It's a great way to weed out the time wasters from people that are serious about getting to know you.
I am going through this right now and I do not have the balls to say these things to him so I'm just going to forget about it lol And being cold and distant will make him just go after someone else. Stay single...less frustrating 👍
Yes! Ppl like that are so annoying and full of sh*t! I dealt with a guy who texted me everyday for a month straight but when I asked him to meet up or to talk with me on the phone he was all of a sudden "too busy." Then after disappearing for two months he started texting me out of the blue like nothing happened. Wtf? Turns out he had a pregnant girlfriend surprise surprise -_-.The best way to deal with those people is to leave them alone because most of the time they are just playing games.
One guy wrote to me in the very first chat between us: "Maybe one day we will have a coffee together" and his next phrase was: "Can I add you to my friendshiplist on Facebook?" So I thought about his "maybe" and why he is eager to add me on FB not knowing me yet at all and I responded: "Maybe one day". He replied: "hahahahah" ... and vanished... at least he got my hint! lol
OMG just wanna thank you a mill for this helpful video. Met a guy 2 wks. ago& he was being more than flaky w/ only the sporadic txts.( which I told I don't like). I watched this video on Sun& called him out like you advised. Basically saying lets meet. He was taking long intervals rtng. my texts but eventually said he was already out somewhere watching football & we'd either have to meet later( On a Sunday, mind you)or we could link up nxt. week.... I THINK NOT!..... I did what you said & gave no reply.... Well now he's even calling and leaving voice mails.. LOL....I'm no longer interested cause this proved that he was indeed a jerk content on stringing me along since he thought I liked him... There are plenty of decent fish in the sea, I'll just be patient. I will also be exerting coldness quickly if recognize any pattern of flakiness fr a guy who is not worth my time... THANK U, THANK U, THANK U
sana cole It sounds like he didn't want to come on too keen in the beginning. Guys can often end up getting rejected for showing too much interest. It's difficult to get the balance right as each person is different. I'd say if he's making effort, might be worth reconsidering.
Glad it worked for you!! I sent the guy the exact text but he hasn't called yet after 12+ hrs. I am happy this text helped me reveal his true intentions
As hard as it is, go with the guy who wants to spend time with you. Trust me you will have the time of your life and realize that he is the real deal, not the flaker!
They are texting because they are spending time with others , kick them out of your life… I did one week a go and I’m so great full of myself. We are not break time
Why wanting someone to call you who doesn’t puts in the work and calls you by himself, he should when he really likes you. If he doesn’t call, he isn’t that interessed.
these texts help temporarily, they may call you back on the spot, but in the long term, you can't get someone to call you if they don't feel like hearing your voice!
Texting has a time and place: to communicate small pieces of info when a conversation is either not necessary or not possible. Texting an *entire conversation* is a moronic waste of time, apparently enjoyed by people who have nothing better to do, and who are not capable of actual conversation. I will never give in to that asinine game again.
I think is is great advice for some who just text occasionally, but I don't think there is anything wrong with regularly texting as opposed to calling. If he doesn't want to even hang out that's something that's off. Some people just don't want to talk on the phone, but if the texting is never leading somewhere, you're just a text friend. If you're proactive, he should respond. Even if he is not available or doesn't want to go to something with your friends, a guy who is really interested will try to make alternative plans
so glad I found this channel. Really useful advices, and it helps to sober up from crush and think about what I actually want, what I need, what I deserve... Thank you, Matthew.
@Sweetie Bellie nothing wrong with a woman being loving its in our nature but men do prey on this behavior and it's the man's fault not the woman. Only when he loses her and she's truly gone and he ends up settling and marrying the bitch from hell is when they realised what they lost.
Thanks for this video. I've had a guy texting every day, and often, but he is flaky about committing to hanging out. He always has a weekend trip and only wants to do lunch by his job...which is a far and expensive ride for me, btw. I'm going to try these texts. Thanks for sharing!
He's constantly texting me and even double texts if I don't answer for some hours but he never asks me out. I made it more than clear that I wanna see him again and actually I had the same feeling about him but at this point I just won't respond to him anymore. I'm tired of this texting crap. I dont care how busy you are, you can at least take 1 or 2 hours time to have a walk or whatever.
I feel everyone’s experience on dating. I’m in that boat. He only like to text. Unless I play his game and tell him that I’m going on a date. Then he re-acts. Each and everyone of us, our time is very valuable. When do we lose her we can’t get it back. So it’s fucked up when somebody takes advantage of your time. But when does karma get them back. And how will they know, I remember what they did to us is only paying them back. Something I notice these past few months is at the group of friends that I have are like me. “Suckers for Love”!
And it worked I texted him Call Me And he did We spoke like 4 hours on the phone. But the thing is that he is going through this phase of man cave and the dark night of the soul... So he hasn't say anything about a date.
Guys who are incessant texters will consume your time without so much as a thank you m'am. They are insecure. Possibly unemployed/retired. They rarely have anything to say. It's all a game. Old guys are the worse. They want a surrogate wife/girlfriend for free. I ignore them. If I am interested I let them know my standards are NOT to waste any time texting. Period.
I think some men feel more comfortable texting especially if he is shy. In this day in age people get too comfortable texting and loose courage to say what they really mean without text. I know for me men tell me they are afraid to talk to me and feel intimidated, I dunno why but I like a man who is confident and not too insecure.
so here is my story: I met a guy like 1 month ago. At the beginning he was very committed and he was always in contact with me. After like 2 weeks he started being flakey. What i realized is that he is ONLY texting, if i call him out of the blue he never answers, i have never been to his place BUT he keeps texting. I never initiate conversations and he is the only one that does it. Why keep texting if you never want to see me? For what ahaha ? I text a day is not going to make him less lonely for 1 moment? Is not giving him sex, is not making him important.... The problem is that i continue to text back even if I know for sure thats the only thing that will come out. 1 text / day without plans on seeing me.
Having this exact situation with a guy I actually like, before even watching the video I asked him once to call coz we were arguing by text. That was the only time we spoke on the phone. He si back texting and telling he wants something serious etc but dude all "BY TEXT" :D now he's texting me "what do you want me to do?" Like I need to tell him dude call me and ask me out WTFFF.. Baby NEXXTTTT
A lot of on line daters texting intermittently. So one guy tells me he travels, goes to school and has a job. Busy guy! He says he is in Europe and I say “bring me back a souvenir”. Then he texts 2 weeks later to say he has returned but has jet lag. Okay. Then 4 months later he texts me to say the souvenir he bought is still in his apartment. I suggest he invite me out so he can give it to me. He says he is offended by my forwardness and I should be flattering him more about buying a souvenir. This from a cyberspace man I have never spoken to. So I thanked him for the souvenir. No reply. I realize some people are shy. I get it. But he is insulted that I suggested he take me on a date to give me the souvenir? I told him I would not be swinging by his place to pick it up (I don’t know him at all!) and he says that’s not what he meant. Okay. So you are just texting me to say you still have the souvenir you bought me 5 months ago. What’s your advice on this one? I just deleted his number. Too complicated for me!
well I'm the type of person is if a man don't answer the phone when I call and all he does is just text I'm going to think he or she is hiding something and don't want that person to hear my voice whoever he's sitting around
I'm allowing this situation to happen to me right now. I know why, because if I had more self respect for myself, I wouldn't have just said yes to seeing him on Saturday...
The pandemic makes dating tricky, this guy only text (a week long all day) but I’m unsure if he’s scared of covid and not meet up. He has suggested to FaceTime and I said yes when we are both not working yesterday. Nothing happened yet.
I have been texting a admirer for 4 days I feel there is something brewing between us he is a neurologist. I really want to hear his voice, and build a bond.
Thank u so much for this video. I've been texting with a guy from tinder since mid august, i usually wait 2 keeks or so to meet someone but it's been almost 2 MONTHS. Even with the pandemic, nothing serious has happened in the city we both live, there are few restrictions. I invited him to go for a drink or just meet somewhere and talk face to face he started saying he didn't like rush things? But cmon he's 28 and in his profile he put "looking for a relationship" wtf. I kinda felt for him but now everytime he text me (all day) i feel like what you said a robot texting me or a computer! I lost interest, I'm not gonna wait anymore or apologize to him for saying that talking face to face it's important. I hate everythung jssjj but this video help me so much
@@kristykay4221try 4-5 months of texting with very few phone calls. The one thing I can give credit on is weekly dates in person BUT when not in person communication still has to happen. To me there is no human connection over text… 😢
i agree they texted you just 'cause they want to now if you still keep their numbers, just to send you cute messages and keep them in your radar but they dont truly want you in their life
I think a lot of people don’t want to talk on the phone because it can lead to vulnerability and if one is uncomfortable with that like I can be it is very hard especially when I am so passive aggressive. ☹️
