The 3 ingredients of the honeymoon phase 

I always try to remember that quote "it's not me versus you, it's us versus a problem"... it helps 🌸

I do think it's possible. My husband and I are together for 12 years this month and know each other even longer. We never had a fight, we do have misunderstandings sometimes, but it never lead to arguing or anger. We communicate A LOT about our thoughts and feelings though. He's always been my best friend and we often act so lovey-dovey and flirty, that our kids think it's embarrassing 😅 We already knew our darkest sides and saw each other at our lowest points before we started dating. I fell in love with all of this.

Still haven’t had an argument with my boyfriend after about a year and a half. So much trust, good communication, understanding, and honesty! I didn’t know a relationship like that could exist until I met him😍

What i learned from my long distance relationship (running on 2 years tomorrow) 1. Have patience 2. Communication 3. Be kind 4. Be in their shoes 5. Take care of yourself 6. Give space to you and to them

The don’t get lazy or complacent is the most important tip in my experience. It’s so easy to fall into and it quickly kills feelings.

Passion: - Keep some distance - Keep impressing your partner - Be courteous, please/thank you - Appreciate them - Switch things up - Make them laugh

You can ABSOLUTELY stay in the honeymoon phase forever. I have been with my SO for 10 years, married for 7 with 2 kids, and we "fight" (more like disagree) regularly, and everyday we are EXCITED to see each other and are very physically affectionate, much to the embarrassment of our children. We have also been together everyday since we first started dating. It does take work, in the beginning, but then it's just effortless. We don't idealized each other. We are just ourselves loving each other, everyday.

I have become very fearful of love. When I was a kid, I used to think that when people fall in love with each other, they stay in love forever. But then I got older and I realized that people can be madly in love one year and feel completely different the next year. And the pain of heartbreak is so bad it makes me wonder if falling in love is even worth it anymore.

Great reminder, I’m getting married tomorrow!! 😁

THAT COLOR IS STUNNING ON YOU

I wish I could marry male version of me

Me watching this and taking notes WHIle being ✨single af✨ 👁👄👁

I agree when you said not all couples need to fight... I guess if you can overcome the argument it's good for the relationship but if you are both good at communicating and respecting each other there's no need to argue in the first place.

Married 18 years. It's possible! Great tips/ideas to help couples stay there as much as possible.

1. keep distance (distance makes the heart grow fonder) 2. don’t get complacent (fear you can lose them) 3. keep trying to court them (random acts of kindness) 4. avoid arguments (sugarcoat, don’t raise voice, i-statements, validate) 5. idealize the image of your partner 6. always keep working on yourself

"Do you wanna be like everyone with an average relationship or do you wanna have a great relationship?" 💀

1.5 years in and we still haven't had a fight. After going through toxic relationships prior we know what we don't want in a relationship and understanding that taking space apart is okay.

honeymoon phase is kinda overrated, i think a couple can be happy while being pure and stable rather than being all lovey-dovey. But still, the honeymoon phase is very cute. I can't deny

My boyfriend and I don’t really fight! It really is possible and we are very happy together. It helps that both of us can talk about things without getting offended for the most part! We have also NEVER disrespected one another in a disagreement.

My boyfriend and I fight but it’s because we communicate differently. However our fights do help us understand how sometimes there was just miscommunication. So our fights aren’t necessarily frivolous because we learn something about what we misunderstood. And I like it. I’d rather fight over something like that than to be passive and let things suppressed build up in a negative way

My husband and I did long distance for a year while we were dating. It was actually nice. We built trust and it was so special when we saw each other. We then moved in together and it is great!

I think another important part of creating distance is when you and your partner are reunited, there are so many stories to tell and it ignites great conversation

Thank you for mentioning the issue of fighting. I have always hated when people say you have to fight to have a good relationship. Nothing gets accomplished when you're yelling and screaming at each other. I'd much rather remove myself from the room for a few minutes to compose myself and come back to talk things out. Disagreements happen, but they don't have to become fights. And if you need a "good fight" to have passion in your relationship, then you've got a problem!

The distance thing is so true. When i dont see my girlfriend after a week i get butterflies still and i can tell she does too. Its a bit of happy awkwardness for the first hour or so.

I don’t have a relationship but I really find important to have this acknowledge in mind! ❤️

Non-cohabitation is the ultimate extender of the honeymoon phase

An argument is just an exchange of opposite views. It's healthy. Problem is when we decide to be right at all cost and forget to be courteous in the process, explain our way calmly, allow space for the other person to express theirs and listen to the underlying need of both persons behind. If all that is respected then the argument can turn into a beautiful and peaceful resolution and make the relationship stronger. Both will trust the other. Trust is love. Healthy communication is key.

I don't even want a relationship, but this was really informative.

i’ve been dating my bf for almost 4 years now, and we don’t fight at all. we were also long distance the first 4-5 months of our relationship, and we’re still in the honeymoon phase tbh. i personally think not living together and being thoughtful are the two things have kept us happy so long. time away from each other is essential, and ensuring the time we do spend together is quality time :)

I never had the idealization phase, I liked my boyfriend and found him attractive but I didn't think he could "do no wrong" and I could see his flaws.

me eager to watch this even tho I’ve been a single pringle since birth 😃

my bf and i have been dating for 8 years and i love him more every day☺️

It is so important to understand why you are upset so that you can explain why you are feeling that way instead of just snapping and arguing at them.

I’m about to be 10 months apart from my partner and I’m hoping distance will truly help the heart to grow fonder with this instance 🙏🏽

i’m not gonna lie, i read the title n thought this was ab lana del rey n i was like sweetie i loved honeymoon too but were like two eras past it. as iconic as it was, it’s time to let go

My ex and I started fighting really early on. He was always really angry or annoyed, every single day, over the smallest things. He had the most ridiculously high standards. He would even get annoyed with me if I accidentally tripped while walking. It was a mess. Eventually he cheated and tried to blame me. I left, of course lol. Now I’m in a relationship with my best friend (of 9 years before we even had any clue we liked each other) and I’m incredibly happy. We speak the same love languages and communicate so easily about everything. He’s patient, kind, and understanding. We’re still in our honeymoon phase and I’m incredibly thankful ♥️

My self worth was absolutely destroyed after my last relationship, never met someone who at one point says they love you and then out of no where absolutely hate you when you disagree. I drew the line when I had an anxiety attack and was sent to the hospital and she began fighting with me on a call regarding not giving her tips for call of duty. It was more of a harsh and angry interrogation and really spiked my heart again. I don't know why I'm typing this here, I really did like her but couldn't take the fact that she turned so mean when angry, it was making me spiteful. I have a few dates soon since a few girls have suddenly confessed, I'm afraid I've turned a lil numb in regards with affection and vulnerability after my ex will work on it

Always be completely honest about how youre feeling and what youre thinking.

My uncle and his wife never left the honeymoon phase after 25 years. I think what it really comes down to is playfulness/laughter, travel/fresh experiences together, keeping your individuality while in the relationship.

2 months into marriage here, 3 months into living with one another. I’m loving marriage, so much fun! Just wanna keep this love going. Thank you. I seriously commend you for sharing this wisdom!

My parents' fights prove that you don't need to fight to resolve problems or differences. They were fighting to demonstrate power and to hurt the other and never to resolve problems. My father was always so rude and I remember as a small child thinking: wow, he would never talk that rude way to anyone he knows or at a shop or in any situation, only to my mother and his children.

The first few months of our relationship (we’ve had a year of backstory before actually being bf and gf) we fought CONSTANTLY at least once a month but tbh it brought us closer together....at the end of every argument we had big discussions on how we were feeling and why and what we could do to change the issue. The arguments REALLLYYY tested us early on but NOW at 1 year we never argue and we’ve actually grown fonder of each other as time goes on. I’d say our honeymoon phase started at 8 months haha but now we’re just so happy and more in love than ever before:)

Wow, this came right on time! I just got into a relationship (literally not even a week in yet) and let me tell youu, that passion is no joke! Wanting to spend every moment with them, missing them when you're apart for even a day... yeah, it's kind of like a drug! I'll definitely be taking these tips into account even if I'm barely a week in. Thanks, Ana! (:

My grandmother used to say "marriage is not 50% her and 50% him, its 100% her and 100% him" .

You are a goddess of wisdom. I wish I had you in my life as a companion earlier on. Went through a cataclysmic rift from my significant other during covid, and I haven't been the same. We were in a LDR for 7 years, and I lost myself. Been seeing therapy, and I wish you were my therapist earlier. Keep doing what you do Ana. You're awesome.

I just got married; saw this video and thought there’s never enough good advice, and I wasn’t wrong. Very good advices!

I agree. People don’t have to fight. Some people need that confrontation to have passion. I fear those people.

Ana, I'm getting my bachelor's in psychology and I look up to you so much! Hearing you speak and explain your thoughts makes me want to study. Thank you for the motivation :)

Great video! I feel like these are things we should educate people on more often so we can all have happy lasting relationships.

never been in a relationship before even though i'm nearly 21, but i always make sure to watch all your videos!

This makes me feel so good about my relationship🥺 almost 11 months with him and it just keeps getting better

Can’t wait to see the video after I finish all the meetings I have today!! I hope you have a lovely week Ana 💖

Girl you are going places. I love your videos and I wish you much abundance in the new year. You deserve it!

For me personally I realized that I start to “exit” the honeymoon phase, whether it’s with romantic partners or even new friends, when I learn more about the person. Especially when I start to see how they don’t fit into my idea of a good partner or a friend. In the beginning of a relationship, we tend to focus on our similarities and ignore or put the differences away for “later”. The more similarities there are, the more I focus on how good the person is, the more closer we get. Then, once we are really close and are familiar with each other, once we start to co-exist, the old disagreements resurface or I start noticing some things that do not fit my idea of a perfect partner of friend. This angers me. I get into fights with them. Not because I hate the things they do or the way they are, but because for some reason I can’t be with someone or I can’t love someone completely if they don’t perfectly align with my idea of a partner. So I get angry and *try to change them* because I want to keep loving them/being friends with them. Despite my efforts they seem to be unchangeable, which is realistic - we can’t perfectly fit like a puzzle in every single thing, we are not clones - so I just lose my love for them, or it’s not as strong as it used to be. I lose the person. This pattern has been reoccurring throughout my whole life. I get to know someone, love them, realize they don’t fit in completely in my idea of love, lose them/leave them. I don’t know how to stop this.

Rarely ever watch through a video like this without skipping. You’re incredible! Thank you for posting this❤️ xo

When I realized I had came out of the honeymoon phase, I noticed it was mostly my own mindset. I had so many expectations (idealization) and when they weren't met well i was upset. But it wasn't realistic and well we had to work out some small issues together. With the pandemic (we had to move out of the apartment we had together and move back to our parents homes) and the space helped us appreciate eachother so much more. The way we "fight" is also different. Im so excited to adopt all your tips because we sorta have done some in small ways and thats what helped us improve. Thank you Anaaa you're my inspiration btw haha 💛 💓 ALSO when the quarentine started, my boyfriend and I were in suuuch a rough patch. I was considering ending the relationship & your videos have actually helped us so THANK YOUU!!!

4 years into my relationship and 1 month into our marriage. We have never fought, we always discuss.

I have never been in a relationship with no fighting. I couldn’t even imagine what that’s like.

I watched this video in the beginning of my relationship with my partner and I remember arrogantly thinking I knew all of this and that we could do no wrong. Now that we are about to move into our first apartment together, I feel like this was the best thing for me to watch, because we are going to be in a different era than ever before. This is a great video for anyone in any stage of a relationship.

with every new video you put out, i feel like you’re looking at my life and going ok this b needs to know this right now!!!

We've been together for 2 years and we do argue sometimes, but we never fight, we respect each other too much to let our egos get in the way. Good communication is key. I adore them and have so much admiration for them, and they show me they feel the same way about me every day

Thanks great tips! My relationship started right at the beginning of the whole Pandemic and it's long distance and I'm glad we aren't rushing as it allows us to really get to know one another that much better.

Absolutely connected with what you said about "Green Flags." I love that idea, and looking back I definitely think thats an aspect of relationships that means so much but is voiced so little. Great video!

Emphasize the gratitude - look for all the good things - concentrate on those good things you are thankful for AND let your partner know every day that you are grateful for each of those wonderful things. Every. Day.

The "so far both parties or however many parties there are" part got me😂

I loved this video!! It’s perfect! I sent it to my boyfriend :) we were actually talking about this a while ago! We were wondering why it felt like we went into a different honeymoon phase, and your video explains everything perfectly!💗

If you are be in a toxic relationship, u can be in a honeymoon phase forever.

It was “put a hand on them ..well not aggressively “ 😭😭

Im not in a relationship but I am reflecting a lot on why I am the way I am. I take responsibility for why my romantic relationships didnt work out. I wasn't perfect either. So now I want to improve myself so I can be a healthy partner for my next man. I appreciate your videos! I'm learning tons!

Thank you for this video! I had all these ideas in my mind but now they are well structured! (Just wanted to support you by commenting) PS your eyebrows are stunning!

I have never been in a relationship but before i do get in one i will binge this entire youtube channel 3 times. You go girl you are doing a hero's work!

I absolutely love your content Ana !! Keep up your hard work to this Channel

We've been together 2 years, and we still the honey moon phase. Distance has definitely helped that. Covid made us closer, we always facetime, and for 8 months we barely saw each other. Now we're working every week day together. We're happy, sure we argue but we've never been happier :)

Okay, I want to include my input here. If you believe that your partner could become more likely to have “wondering eyes” if you two aren’t as infatuated with each other as before, then your standards of a relationship are not high enough. There are no circumstances where it is excusable or expected for either partner to be more likely to cheat, to have the mentality that you must avoid something in order to avoid increasing those chances is simply unhealthy. Infatuation or idealization is meant to dissipate, its required in order to feel the true and most genuine level of love in a relationship. Its not when you’re feeling the thrill of it at all times that is true love, its more of when you feel a sense of calm and peace. Its not a bad thing for the honeymoon phase to fade, it by no means damages the relationship. If attraction and actual romantic feelings end up fading away as well, then the person you’re with is no longer the right one for you, and that’s okay. It can be painful, but its simply one of life’s functions. As for “arguments”, I just want to make it clear that there are healthy ways to discuss disagreements that do not entail a full blown argument where the people in the relationship are yelling and preventing from progress to be made in finding a common ground. Arguments that involve yelling and such are not good forms of communication and should certainly be worked on. Now to refer to “arguments” as general disputes, you’re allowed to disagree with them as they are with you. And you’re both allowed to have downs in the relationship, this is an inevitable factor. It is in these downs that compatibility is tested and this is where your bond can become even stronger. Being able to communicate and try to understand each other’s feelings is incredibly crucial. To never experience those downs in a relationship (whether it be from between you and your partner or from outside sources) can end up placing your relationship in a stasis where nothing actually grows. Not to say that zero lows or disagreements or disputes mean its not a good relationship, I mean that it is in these times where you get the best opportunity to strengthen communication and intimacy as you both overcome those lows and feel closer and stronger. Do not sugar coat your thoughts and feelings in that you hide aspects that can deepen their understanding of you or the situation. Strong communication involves honesty. This doesn’t mean to say “you pissed me off today”, it means to thoroughly communicate something that upset you and why it did. Not everyone is good with doing that, but trying to do so to the best of your ability is extremely important. You want to feel like nothing can get in between, that you’ll be loved and supported when you may need it most. When you hit a low, you know they will be there for you. To wish for those aspects of early stages to last forever where there’s no disputes and such is unhealthy and misguided. For example, to truly love a movie is not in the feeling when you watch it for the first time, its when you appreciate it deeply after a hundred times of watching it. Its when you’re always with the person you love and know everything about them that your love is true. You can of course keep doing things that are respectful and polite, there is no problem in that. But you don’t need to uphold such standards at all times in order to keep a strong relationship. Considerate gestures are always something to keep in mind as well, this is something that are ideally present in the relationship in its entirety. Please rethink what it is that you seek in a relationship, while some of what you say is generally agreeable and standard, much of what you speak of can spread an unhealthy perception of relationships.

Thanks! Your channel is so much needed on this platform.

You are very good at verbalizing your points. Great insight Ana!

I suggest to my clients that they date their potential partner thru a cycle of seasons prior to making a commitment! (Winter, Spring, Summer, Fal and Autumn)

My parents have been together for 20 years and my mom can't stop yelling at my dad EVERY DAY 😂😂

I love you for this video and it’s still on the intro omg thank you

All of these are great points, no doubt! Very helpful.. but if you have to bite your tongue often with a person about your treatment, etc., they aren’t for you. You shouldn’t have to sugar coat things often.

My last gf and I lived together over 5 years and have been intimate for a long time before moving in and longer after she moved away. We never fought. Biggest disagreement was how we'd hypothetically spend the big lotto. LOL I yelled at her once when she was crossing the street not looking with a car about to hit her. I yelled her name and she stopped which was good because the car didn't. I've never fought with 3 of my 4 nieces and nephews. Yet my brother/sister and my uncle growing up?!? Yeah...We fought, so I'm a fighter but there are those who don't make you want to fight. (Power Struggle/Control) For me...and I'm making this very inclusive because there are all kinds of relationships, but all have 'honeymoon' =) 1) Do the little things that you did in the beginning of the relationship. 2) Patience and Compromise. It's a 'relationship' not a 'me,me,me ship' as that's a lonely ship stuck at sea. 3) Do not INTENTIONALLY do things to 'hurt' the other person. People get hurt but we're not all the same so being open, honest and communicate your needs and desires. Sometimes that 'talk' actually solves things without needing to take action elsewhere. (especially good when dating hyper sexual (me) open, unavailable, kink/fet and poly relationships) I've been around and experienced a LOT. Would end things before expressing my desires and when given permission found the desire was more of a FEAR of losing self/freedom. Also would have been willing to 'try' things that made me uncomfortable if partner was willing to put up with growing pains. 4) Uplift each other. Support ones dreams, even if it means it might lead to the relationship ending. I've only had one 'bad' breakup and that was ending a many year 'relations' with a married woman because I'd met someone great who deserved my undivided attention. All my other relationships we were friends for a while after because we're good people who grew in different directions, which in time let us drift apart as friends. I think on Tinder they call it GGG? Intent is EVERYTHING and people can change their minds and GROWING is ALWAYS a good thing. If it's growing apart be happy for the time you shared together and be happy that someone you loved/cared for is happy. I know I'm wired weird (Tantra?) but I've learned to enjoy the tears because there can only be tears when one has experienced so much happiness. =)

Dang yeah I’m sitting here thinking about it and it actually is insane that we find it socially acceptable for couples to definitely fight. I agree that there’s no reason for couples to fight. There’s just no circumstance where name calling or yelling or any sort of physical aggression is okay

It is our first month as an official couple so I needed this advice at the very beginning until the honeymoon phase ends. Hope we manage things through and thank you Ana for such an informative video!

You are so well spoken, I'm so impressed by every single one of your videos! SUBSCRIBED :)

Kinda feel a little bit more inlove with you everytime I watch your videos 😂 nohomo but girrrl you're amazing and wise and just absolutely BEAUTIFUL! 🌺💕 Thank you for this channel 😁

You can keep your relationship in the honeymoon phase forever I've seen my an Uncle & Aunt do it (but 1st I have to say Ana you are very beautiful and intelligent im a sapiosexual that's a big turn on) its my 1st time on your channel. How Uncle and Aunt have kept the relationship in the honeymoon phase is they treat each other with utmost respect and kindness constantly & always using manners always looking into each other's eyes when they talk holding hands when they talk sitting at the table being flirty while eating together like a date it has to do with Always being present and giving your attention and that creates quality time.

It’s absolutely possible. I’ve been practicing this through several long relationships and it’s a skill. I did it for 7 years in one case. You both have to do your part though. I can testify to this.

Thank you for this Ana. I realized so many thing I am doing right and wrong at the same time. So I feel good and I cringe at the thought of my mistakes. I learned so much!

I'm single af, but I watched this anyway 🤣 I learned some good tips that I'll apply towards a future relationship. Thank you!

I agree with you that couples shouldn't argue all the time. The ones that argue a lot, especially in the beginning, never last. So many times I've seen people try to normalize "constantly fighting," but it's not normal. I do disagree that the honeymoon phase ends after the first argument. We've had 3 arguments in 2 years and I feel like we're still in the honeymoon phase.

I never had any arguments in any of my relationships, and it's only in the one I am into now that I understand what it's like to not fight WHILE being healthy. It's just about how you feel on the inside you guys, no lying. We don't argue, we don't fight, and there is NOTHING boiling under the surface, never a tiny thought of "He could appreciate me more" or anything. That's the difference.

You're the sister I never had.. no one tells me even the basic stuff. Thank you Ana ❤

I started a long distance relationship with someone very far away this year, but I don't think I've ever felt so strongly about someone in my life. It's been a rollercoaster of a situation for sure, but I really hope things can work out for us and that we can meet one day!

Idk why this video was recommended, but I’m glad it was! I’ve never been in a relationship but this was insightful. You got a new subscriber 👍

I love you Ana, thank you so much! Your knowledge is very helpful for so many xo

your advice is so simple, and things people should already know. yet we tend to forget these things, specially when we think things will be different with new relationships. thank you for your videos. i really enjoy them.

Happy for the upload! 💜

I love your videos. I would be so happy if you could make one on overcoming codependency and/or learning how to be okay with being alone.

Thank you Ana you always give so much insight... I will be putting this into practice 🙏🏼 well wishes and can’t wait for your next video 💛

This video was so helpful to watch. I’ve had fights with my partner on and off for a month and a half and I really thought he was giving up on me. We made up last week via talking to a friend (not a very close friend but a good friend) and that helped our communication. Watching this made me feel se appreciative of my partner I immediately sent him a message of thanking him for making me laugh and making me happy. Even after these long fights we feel like we fell more in love