The 5 Ways to Attract an INFP (Ft. James Moore) 

someone * breathe* me : omg i think i'm in love with this person

1. Be authentic 2. Let us know your intentions 3. Give us time/ space 4. Grasp our uniqueness (" Get us") 5. Inspire us to be the best we can be Yes, this is exactly true as an infp.. what we needed

Stranger being polite to me. INFP me : I found my soulmate.

Remember that INFP’s can have difficulties to stay in reality, often thinking of the dream relationships and can often end in breakup because they dont feel like the partner ”was the one”. This is because we are very creative.

He can't take his eyes away from her. 😍

Another thing I'm finding a little too late as an INFP is a need and way to attract me is to be as good of an active listener as I am. Show interest and listen, too. I can listen to someone I'm interested in for ages with deep and genuine gusto. But I'm finding that as a result, I seem to attract takers. People who just want to be listened to, but realy don't reciprocate too much.

In this ever competitive world we literally need someone who let's us be just who we are..

Yes. Definitely the worst thing. Don't "get" them, put them down, discourage them. THAT is exactly what I grew up with. : ( What is nice about your videos, Lex, is that you show me what is possible. From what I can tell, you were cherished and your family "gets" you. You are the example of what an INFP becomes when understood, loved, and accepted. I have learned how to do this for myself. Love myself. It is going to take a lot of work to get myself right.

I'm an ENFP and encouraging or "catalyzing" others comes naturally. It seems really congruent with INFPs who I think need that sometimes. I'm dating an INFP and it's going very well, she finds my vulnerable moments attractive somehow. She also enjoys the encouragement while I enjoy her deep, quirky, spirit.

Oh gosh! INFP here! This is sooo true! Ive been in so many dates. Good looking, with facades, not true to themselves, try to get me with their money, rich.....name it. Dating was so hard cause guys wouldnt be able to tell the truth when i asked them straight up what they're looking for! Some will say nothing serious (id tell them i respect that but not for me) then they'll change their mind just to get under my sheets. Luckily im not that stupid. I got attracted to my boyfiend for being true to himself, open, real, honnest, he's different and owns it. Not pretending to be someone else to fit in.

I could relate to all of this. I am highly attracted to every single trait that you mentioned. I yearn for people who inspire me and appreciate me for who I really am. I have a tendancy to talk down on myself too. I am happy for the both of you!

Thank you so much for featuring our track. I loved being in this video xx

INFP male here. While I have had flings with an ESFJ and an ENFP at one point, the only women who have shown interest in me are generally other INFPs or INTJs. In these cases they happened to be interested in me from the start, and I happened to notice and reciprocate. Maybe it has something to do with sharing Fi and Te? I absolutely hate being the aggressor, and I found dating to be a miserable experience. It might just be because I value authenticity, but I love sexually aggressive women, if only because they tend to put me at ease by making me feel desired. Otherwise, it's just a waste of time trying to woo someone who probably wouldn't be interested in the first place. God knows I've screwed it up enough not to want to try again. Coming off too strong? You bet I did that, and what a terrible mistake it was. The word "creepy" is my least favorite word in the English language, because more people had predicated it to describe than any other. Just chilling and being myself? For a man, that's the equivalent of telling him to do nothing, from which nothing comes. Now I'm currently in a long term relationship with an INTJ woman whom I met online, and she wanted me long before we ever had the opportunity to meet in person, and even after a devastating setback made that seem impossible. I had no desire for a long distance relationship myself, but we remained friends until our fortunes changed and she moved to my state and seeing her was actually possible. Now in the time elapsed I'd had four flings with various women, which I might not have done had I known better. I had only had one serious relationship prior. During these years, I honestly believed that I had no hope of finding another, and that every sexual opportunity could well have been my last. As for my INTJ woman, she had made up her mind about me four years prior, had no doubt about me the first day we met in person, and has no doubt now as I write this six years later while we live under the same roof. When I asked her about it, still mystified by what God had granted me, she quoted the opening passage of "Their Eyes Were Watching God" by Zora Neale Hurston: "Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board. For some they come in with the tide. For others they sail forever on the horizon, never out of sight, never landing until the Watcher turns his eyes away in resignation, his dreams mocked to death by Time. That is the life of men." "Now, women forget all those things they don’t want to remember and remember everything they don’t want to forget. The dream is the truth. Then they act and do things accordingly."

There's something I'd like to pitch in here. ANY relationship requires acceptance and encouragement of both partners' true selves; if someone feels like they have to go against their identity/strengths all the time, they will inevitably dissociate from the source of that disconnection over time. The reason this point is mentioned so many times for the INFP in particular is that their strengths and qualities are a) very, very rare and b) therefore often undervalued, misunderstood and unappreciated, which is why what would not even be a problem for most other "conventional" types (acceptance of self, fitting in, being appreciated) becomes a VERY major and chronic problem for the INFP, because they feel like no one needs them or values what makes them who they are. No one likes to feel like a worthless cog in the great machine of life - and INFPs feel this pain especially intensely because of how rarely they or their work are liked. Moreover, they are also perfectionists who are very hard on themselves, so they don't give themselves any affirmation to compensate for the lack of external affirmation either. This is why it is so important for their partner to understand them ON THEIR OWN TERMS, to really step into their shoes and understand THEIR values rather than thinking of what society respects or cares for, and encourage that (rest assured, they will receive this full, deep empathetic understanding and encouragement in return). Material prosperity often eludes INFPs, but to be loved for who we are is perhaps the greatest gift we could ever be given (except perhaps a journal, a good book, or some art supplies ;) ). P.S: Loved the reference to Audioslave's song "Be Yourself" at the end. That song is a classic!

"I like you. What are you going to do with this information?" That's such an INFP thing to say and very indicative of our mind sets. We'll chase to the end of the Earth as long as the other person reciprocates interest. But we won't cross that line until the other party has expressed interest because we have general problems with being manipulators and refuse to play games without clear rules.

One of my good friends is an ENFP and he has romantic feelings for me. I feel the same but being an INFP I have a fear of commitment. Watching this video help me sort out some feelings and I think I would like to try dating him.

You have so nailed it. Explains so much about why my last 'experience' just didn't get off the ground. Especially about the honesty, integrity part.

Oh my gosh, you guys are too cute! This totally made my day. Thanks for sharing.

#2 is the biggest issue right now. I’m so glad you mentioned this. If a man opens a conversation with “hey beautiful” it hits me as an absolute insult. Give me enough respect to allow me to make the best decision for myself by telling me your intentions. It would be nice for a conversation to open as super casual or something more substantial. Love your videos!

Guys, I couldn't relate more to these points. Thank you for this video. I've been the inspiring and encouraging influence to other people, as an INFP man, and in this way I've cultivated many rewarding and important friendships. Relationships are another issue, though. At this point in my life, where I've acquired the confidence to just be me, I let people know: "This is me, quirks and flaws and all. I want you to know I see your unique spark and would like to get to know you better. If you're up for it, let me know. If not, no harm done." Sometimes they're intimidated by this directness, sometimes they're intrigued, sometimes they're not interested. But at least I've made my intentions clear.

I loved this topic, and especially with combining your 2 different personalities and sharing your own experiences in all its honesty. Real life stuff. Great you incorporated James' music. Added a really nice aspect to this video. Well done Lex

INFP here and these are all spot on

💯 agree with this!! Authenticity is necessary. We see right through people’s BS.

Loved this! I have been married for 25 years and the general points you made certainly ticked the boxes of what attracted me to her. The "vibe" of someone who is quietly confident, driven, authentic, and encouraging/inspirational is just magic. I also appreciated the peek into your relationship, modeling what a healthy one could look like. Good on you guys. Finally I also really loved the little nod to Audioslave at the end. You guys seem like awesome people. Wishing blessings to you both.

I’m an INFP and I went on a date with an INFP about a week ago and we got on soooo well.. ended up spending pretty much the whole week round hers... just wondered what people’s thoughts on the strengths and weaknesses of a relationship between 2 INFPs might be :)

Y'all are just too cute together!!! Many thanks for your honesty & openness - it helped me as I'm sure it has helped others, as well! Take care & God bless!! 💕

That is a good video, nice work!

I just discovered your channel, and am so glad I did. I'm an INFJ, and this gave such wonderful insight into an INFJ in my life. Thank you so much, to both of you for honesty and vulnerability. 🖤

Thanks for the shout love! And thank you two for letting me take care of Oscar! I had such a blast and it was so cool getting to build a friendship with him! This video was adorable and you two are so brave for doing this. I know James was super nervous but I think he did great!

I'm an INFP with an ENTP boyfriend, love that Ne open-mindedness and freedom to be weirdos together

What a lovely video, great ideas and incredible music.

I can relate so much! I'm also an INFP, my partner is also an ENFP and we've been together for 4 years. Our passion really connects us and we inspire each other everyday. He feels more grounded because of me and I feel more capable because of him.

Happy Valentine's day too, you lucky two! It's very hilarious to see a very nervous extrovert sitting beside an apparently stone-cold introvert haha 😂 You are right James, at least in my case I love embracing my INFPness, and also everyone else's. It's something that from the day you realize it's value and it's uniqueness, you can't ignore whenever it comes across you again 😊. Have a great time, byyee!

Wow this is on point, thank you for videos like this🙏🏼😌

Wow. This is so spot on... And so funny looking down her top 😂

Thank you. I'll try to remember these tips as I prepare to get married to an INFP. Much appreciated.

This is so me! Haha The part where you were talking about someone being themselves and not scared of showing what they're into is awesome! There was this guy (he's an INTP) I felt in love with. My first reciprocate love. He was very interested about space and that kind of stuff, and he even told me he wanted to be an astronaut. Like, he was so convicted about it, and I even wasn't that type of girl, I mean, a girl that really enjoy space themes but, I just liked that about him! He was just himself and wasn't scared of what people would say about him, and I felt soo like: YES! If that's what you're passionate about, just go for it! I support you! Haha He was smart but it was genuine, he wasn't cocky about it, u know? I just felt in love with him instantly haha (and he felt in love with me too. He told me I was the first person he loved :') ) Too bad it didn't work out :/ I miss him ;-;

It's so accurate! These things worked really well for me and my husband in building our relationship. The most important condition for INFP's to find the right person is to stick to their values and standards no matter how much pressure their close people and society put on them. Sometimes people don't get us but INFP's have a kind of a compass in their heart. It leads them to their true love and harmonious relationships. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this matter.

OMG. LOVE when the internet introduces me to things like this. I'm am INFP. Love you and your content!!

This is excellent, 100% my feelings . Kind of spooky, lol. You guy's are great :)

INFP here and this is 💯 accurate ❤️ money doesnt matter to me and most guys I talk to use that to get me, I needed space to contemplate everything and that was the mistake in my past relationships ,they tend to not give me space even if I ask them to and tell me it will make things worst its exhausting when you dont get that space.

Love your makeup look!

I'm still chuckling over the imagery of the batman onesie. :)))

Great video! Currently looking for a guy in a Batman onesie. . . 😎

“I like you! What are you gonna do with this information?!” Hahaha I love it 😂 maybe not THAT literally, but as an INFP I know what you mean. Great video, and you make a super cute couple! Xx

Thank you Lexi and James for your transparency and humility... I and very attracted to an INFP and, being myself an ENFP, I can fully relate to you. This video helped to understand that it's not because I have no news that it means that she's not interested. She needs time and space.

Aww that was some lovely singing at the end. You know what's funny? Your husband looks very much like I pictured him to be going by what you said about him. And then he's here and I see soft eys and think: YES, Lex, well done! You've opened the doors for the right man indeed! And so has he, for this amazing pool of reflection (to the outside and inside. We are mirrors and we function only with polishing, especially when getting in touch with ppl will leave fingerprints all over very very easily XD)

Thanks for your video. Many of the things you said are true in relationship with INFP. I lived it myself with my husband.

I agree o: Great vid Lexi! You're awesome :)

I love this. My brother is an infp and this makes alot of since.

In my youth, I had a habit of living a relationship in my head before I even getting to know the guy to the point that I was already bored with the thought of them.

American INFP here. Thanks for the vids.I’m enjoying exploring my own notions of New Zealander stereotypes.

One of my good friends is an infp and her husband is enfp and our relationship is so easy and comfortable. I can go visit and just do my thing without worrying about constantly being together or entertaining each other. I love this family as my own.

INFPs cringe really easily, well I do.

I’m an INFP. I love nature and dancing.

I agree about seeing people being authentic is attractive to an INFP. I will say though that what won me over about my husband is that I felt like I could most be myself (authentic) around him more than others that I had dated.

Basically info girls like honest guys and infp guys like infp girls

"This is who I am people" love it!

This is so cute!!!!!! Warmed my heart. 😪❤

you're such a sweet couple! i wish i knew some ENFPs!

I'd just like to say that as an ENFJ that was with an INFP, I can strongly verify these things are SO TRUE. Just dead on true.

Wait, are there people who want to attract INFPs? Why would anyone? Out of pity? At gun point? That's what I thought when I read the title of the video (and yes, I'm a true INFP)

So beautiful inside-out :)

I am in complete agreement about the authenticity thing. I’ve had guys hit on me at school and it seemed like they were doing it on a dare. Of course I could see through them either they were trying too hard or just being mean. Either way my heart was never broken.

With the second point, that final comment is so true. I am an INFP, This girl I was talking to I told her how I felt and it backfired

I'm an INFP and there's this guy that I like (he's an ENFJ) even though he thinks that I have to stay away from him whenever he's stressed and frustrated from work and says that his heart is cold and all, I'm not scared of him and it makes me want to be there for him. I make him feel that I'm there for him through our communications via messenger since we live a thousand kilometers from each other. We met personally met once and it was new and fine to me. The other day my mom and guardian found out about us. They made me cut my connection with him, delete pur conversation even demanded me to block him. I don't understand why but I did as I was told since I've been tired of talking back against them. I told him that I have to block him though, I'm honest and still feel bad doing that to him. Before that happened, I remember him giving me a nickname with a

Thank you! As INFP, this is spot on. Is it possible for two INFP to be together? (I currently have strong feelings towards one- and we are so similar) but I've read, that it could get boring. But I don't see that at all, when we are together, it's like fireworks and we could talk about anything under the sun. But will it become boring later on once it becomes a relationship? I have no clue. But I don't see it become that, if both of our personalities are fun, loving, empathetic, creative and experience seeking! I would love to hear any insights on this.

What personally type is your husband?? Loved the video! I hope to find that right person one day!

Give me time and space and I'll make the universe out of them

This is so beautifully true

Thankyou for this tips, now i can appreciate my INFP girlfriend more better :>

you guys are so cute im in love

INFP, and yes all of these are truee, I just have yet to meet that guy 😀

I love the Goku drawing in the background

As an INFP , Does anybody else have a problem with getting their driver's license or their car registration renewed or anytime you have to submit to some local jurisdiction or paying bills on time?

What type is James? :) It's so nice to have complementary people who inspire me, but don't make me feel like I'm not good enough to do things (i.e. like critiquing me on how I live my life, or why I have a fear). As an INFP, sometimes I can let fear drive me to not do something, but when I find the right friends or partner, they really encourage me to move forward in life but also make me feel like it's okay to have a fear as long as I don't let it take hold of my dreams.

i think both of you are very good for each other :)

It's too bad we have such a small percentage of the population. I don't think I even know another INFP. thanks for doing these videos!!!

I am an INFP. I originally began following because I happen to be secretly in love with my best friend who is also an ISFJ. I have found very few resources regarding our compatibility which isn't surprising given how differently we process information and make decisions. One of the articles I read did say that we have the potential to balance each other out very well and that's how I feel my BFF and I would be if I ever got the nerve to tell him. I was just wondering if you or anyone else in the group has any insight on ISFJ and INFP romantic relationships 🤷🏼‍♀️ Thanks!

INFP here and this is so true!

Lovely couple ^_^

It’s hard to fight it. If I connect with a girl, get to know her deeper and deeper then it’s over. It’ll result in me liking her, if she’s attractive to me of course

its not so much that INFP's dont appreciate facades, more that they dont generally prescribe to the definition of what it is to be "successful" in this society. the INFP is the kid at school who isn't one of the cool kids, but that doesnt matter because they have redefined what cool means according to their personal value system, but that is not to say this is't also partially a defense reaction to an objectively exclusive club like the "cool Kids".

Your boyfriend lookes like the Vikings boys in my Training team 😊 I trains in Viking fight style. 😁😁😁

Really interesting... Remarkably similar to INFJ

Hey Lex great to see you Both in LOVE that way...... With me IT is ABSOLUTELY THE SAME. If you are AUTHENTIC and SHOW ME YOUR TRUE COLOURS.It Will attract me INSTANTLY. So the wierder the situation. The more IT attracts me......

What lipstick are you wearing?

3:45 Agnieszka Chylinska's laugh ^^

What is James in terms of MBTI type?

I heard James talk about the INFP community commenting. And I thought to my self, “I really told to resonate with what Alex expands on but I never want to comment.” I was thinking how funny that was and I feel it fits into one of the INFP contradictions, I just can’t think of which one.

I know this is a late comment, but I love your tattoo! I was wondering if YOU loved it? I've been thinking about getting a tattoo for years, but I'm kind of afraid I will hate it five minutes after I get one.

Sorry maybe you already mention it somewhere but what is hes personality type?

My lass asked if I wanted to be friends on Facebook. She had me hooked.

love her accent 😩

I haven't gotten my license too >< lol

Know what attracted me to an INFJ? She said she'd go on a date. Then I found out what an INFJ is and that I'm an INFP. We're friends, and for once it's actually refreshing to hear that from a woman. I suppose because she made me earn it, and I know she means it.

You make such a sweet couple......possibly my ideal match (as an INFP) would be ENFP?

Im an infj, my friend is an infp, the way you talk, the things you say, its him

When do we know INFPs are done with their time and space?

Hay a conflict if a infp likes a infp and has a emotional attraction and will be thinking about their own feelings and the feelings of the other. And you know you want to be upfront but at the same time you want to be emotional and intellectual honest, and at the the same time whilst you know this person is intuitive you can not judge her actions and responses in the very early stages. And you both dont want to blind side them or put anything heavy on someone you perceive as on the tentative side, I hope being up front that my approach in this the interactions I want should have boundaries (Christian) will give her the strength to be upfront with me if she needs to be with how she is feeling and that she is aware that im not being deceitful in any of my motives and process. (Argh!!!!!!)