Welcome to my channel! I create content focused on mental health, particularly ADHD, and delve into issues facing the human condition. Join me as I explore philosophical queries and provide insights to help you understand and navigate life's complexities.
"Frodo bears this burden that except for Bilbo and Smeagol, no one can understand...." You forgot Isildur. He carried the ring for a time too. In fact when he tried it on it scorched him and he carried that pain until the ring betrayed him to his death
My advice to myself at 16 would have been this: 1) Stop trying to win Mon's approval. Something is wrong with her mentally; she is incapable of love. You cannot save her. All the time you spend helping her would be better spent on your friends or random strangers than on her. You're wasting your time and giving yourself grief. Cut your losses and find love elsewhere. 2) Join clubs, volunteer, go to the gym. Live a healthy life and build a community around yourself. Video game friends don't live close enough that they can help you move or be there for you physically. Get real friends, not just virtual ones. 3) Girls are more superficisl than you think. Being kind, funny, courteous and intelligent won't get girls to like you. You need to be muscular, rich, good looking or the best at something if you want girls to notice you. You didn't get gifted the looks part in the genetic lottery so focus on one of the other three things. Then you will get noticed. 4) Keep being honest and respectful to others. It will influence your reputation in life and having a spotless reputation is extremely rare and will open doors to you that you wouldn't realize. (The one thing I did do right between 16 and now). 5) Make sure the people you care about know how much you care about them. Remind them often that you love them. They will leave your life sooner than you realize.
I absolutely hate this - partly media created - gender battle. So much garbage on social media its crazy. We should all put our phones down and go talk to each other. Bears are not better partners and neither is some lame AI chat bot. Let´s chose each other. Lets chose people. We are all flawed.. its ok.
Im scrolling the comments and fastwording while stopping to look for more videos while eating. I'm glad others feel this way. It can be a handicap or a superpower
Find your own voice. Don't stuff down your feelings to keep others happy or to be what you think others expect you to be. Trust your gut instinct. Learn how to say NO
i ain’t scared of no man 😭😭 yes a lot of men are horrible people but if we’re talking about physical strength then yes i can fight a man, NOBODY can fight a bear lmao.
I've really enjoyed your videos! I'm INFP, and I can't thank you enough for the videos you created on the subject. I intentionally did not look for you on TikTok, which I intentionally avoid for the very reasons you discuss in this video. Thank you, and I hope to see you in longer videos. Thank you so very much.
You want to only connect to people you respect. You judge and see little value in everyone else. You don’t tolerate as much as you think. How is that powerful ???
I have been trying to understand an INFP since months. But her walls are so high. Every time we connect and have an honest conversation she raises them further up next time. I don’t know what to do! 😔
Polar bear: Will attack humans when in contact and actively hunt humans when hungry and prey are scarce. 100% Death Grizzly/Brown bear: Only attacks to protect cubs, feels threatened or extreme hunger. Black bear: Similar to Grizzly/Brown bear but much shy and tends to run away more than the Grizzly when in contact with humans.
"But I was hurt by a man! Or multiple men" OK and I'm so sorry that happened to you. But of the hundreds, thousands, and even tens of thousands of men you share a social proximity with, how many of them are actually harmful? You ran into a psychopath georg or two... statistical outliers. How many bears have you met that were nice and harmless?
Yeah, those women picking the bear are forgetting that real life bears are often not so cute and cuddly 😅 I also think some here in your comments are missing the point, that it isn't about putting down all guys just because some men spoil it for other men. Or just another content creator seeking clout and validation. I know Lex well enough that's not what this video is about. The point is, let's celebrate when women recognize and respect good men. That see the leadership qualities they can have when we've been through a time when most good men are invisible to most women. That's really all it comes down to. I just spoke to my mother who brought up about this topic about these kinds of problems so common today, when the (especially good) man often isn't there in the relationship, things so often fall apart at school and home life because there's no one there being the leader and father figure in the house, and setting the tone for a more structured and put together family life. I was explaining that sadly we are living through what is essentially a single mother epidemic. When my father past away, luckily i was approaching adulthood, and had an older sister and older brother around that could almost take the place of some things my father did. However, if i was still in childhood, was a single child and had no or hardly any other relatives around besides my mother in an alternate reality.. Who knows, i could've gone off, hanged around with bad kids with a bad influence, and turned into a delinquent or a misfit. I know my mother and coming from her mental health issues having been very dependent on my father for help and support, would've struggled to cope. This isn't to put down all women but a lot of women don't understand how to raise a man. Biological differences, differences in temperament etc, etc, etc. There are many reasons it's hard for them, and so often goes unnoticed behind closed doors. They really do struggle as a single parent. That's just the way it is. Those who know and have been through it with their kids, know.
The point of man vs bear went over your head. There's a problem with ADHD I notice, where adhders are overly confident with their reasoning skills tht they end up sounding quite moronic. Please stop making "content" until you can understand why the majority of women are choosing the bear.
One of the online comics that I wrote parodied misogyny. I had these Men's Rights characters sitting around in a circle, wearing fedoras, talking about how much women deserve to r worded. And from there it escalates to more and more revolting behaviour until they're cooking up a baby in a pot and eating it. My mum's friend read this comic and didn't get the satire. She thought that she was supposed to agree with the r word advocating baby eaters. She told my mum I was gonna end up on the terrorist watch list. I couldn't believe it when I found that out. I thought 'What???!!! If you were supposed to like them why did I have them EATING A BABY?! Was that seriously not on the nose enough for everyone to get?!' I get the same message from this story as I do with the bear question. The extent to which women feel they have to assume men are total monsters is really alarming sometimes. The bar for male behaviour is in the core of the earth. It's impossible to clearly go under it. I hope women can feel safer eventually.
I go to the woods all the time. men I run into are just walking their dogs who are friendly. Evil men don’t tend to treat their dogs good. If I ran into a bear, or moose. I’d climb a tree and hide until it’s gone. I’ve been mistreated by both men and women. I don’t have an instant gut reaction to say screw all humanity. I don’t want to be left dying slowly for the next couple of hours. A moose can look at you and just decide to come get you. A bear is same. Animals are unpredictable actually. I can read body language of humans but I can’t a bear or moose. Anything can set off wild animals. It’s like when people think Elephants are cute and harmless. They will wreck you if they don’t like the way you look even if you’re just standing there while they are friendly to the person next to you. There are simple steps to stop a bear, but not all bears are gonna be agreeable to these steps and leave you alone
Ok, please don't take offense, I'm not trying to come at you here, but I just think you should know, it's a well known thing that Hitler was very fond of his dog. Google it.
It's so nice to see someone addressing this lol Anybody who knows anything about bears knows how ridiculous it is to say you'd rather be trapped in the woods with a bear 😂 They literally break your back & eat you alive. Even if you get stuck with a psychopath (which is statistically 1%), that doesn't necessarily mean the psychopath will hurt you - but even if they did, there's probably like a 0.000001% chance it would be worse than what a bear could do to you. It's just so ridiculous 😂
The POINT of the hypothetical, is that you do not get to choose the type of bear or man. So you are actually challenged to go by your base feeling of worst case scenarios for BOTH and possibly best case scenarios for both and to feel into what it feels like. It speaks to subconscious reactions and what the "verdict" is, when our brain makes quick safety assessments based of our experiences AND our values and preferences. I've been close up to bears in a zoo for training. I know the extent of scary they can be. Absolutely scary. I've encountered wild boars with kids in the forest AND I know good men and also men who just leave me be. But my gut feeling still makes the same choice! Team bear over man. I prefer honest and straightforward body language that I can deal with, over any man. The rules of safety with bears are simple. They're not with men. 🤷🏻♀️ The point is not how likely it is is that the man I encounter is a good or bad person. The point is, that any degree of maliciousness in bears, I'm confident in handling and embracing. Same with human women, even the psychopath type. I put them and non-binary pplz right after the bear. Yet, it's NOT the same with human men. 🤷🏻♀️ Their preferred type of malice IF they chose malice, is particularly disgusting to me, on a visceral level. It speaks to the degree of systemic trauma I'm aware of and how society reacts to me struggling with a bear or peer malicious woman, vs. with a man, too. It's not nuanced. Because you do NOT get to choose nuance. Just how you can prefer to drown over burning, even if you don't get to choose the metrics of how either of them goes down. The goal of the hypothetical is not about logic. Logic is what we use afterwards to understand our fist instinct. It's that first instinct that is asked about in the hypothetical. And the instinct of too many women (but also men) choosing bears over men without blinking an eye, speaks to how much damage they experience in the context of men. The point of the hypothetical, is to show, that there's an elephant in the room that needs urgent attendance and that men - as a group - are doing a poor job with themselves and their male peers in meeting the safety needs of women, non-binary AND peer men. If your gut picks the man over beat, Lex, then that speaks to you having enough men in your life who do a great job, as you don't fall into the categories of "naive" or "not the smartest bean in the pod". And I find that wonderful. I'm glad for you. It's how it SHOULD be for all of us. And the scandal is, that it isn't the most obvious answer for way too many women.
Oh also you brought up concerns about death. But death is not the greatest fear for us. 😂 Death is no problem, living with abuse, is a freaking problem and way more scary than even an ugly death. Ugly death has an end. Living with abuse, doesn't really.
Oh P.S.S.: this hypothetical is also NOT about individual people. It's a systemic level of discussion and response. So "not seeing with nuance" doesn't apply here. 😅 Aka upon encountering being with certain specs, whats the BASE fist assessment starting of (negative or positive) that THEN gets adjusted as you learn the individual. It's about systemic bias. And men's systemic bias is worse than bears' I need to work myself up into positive from a state if feeling tense, with men. I start from neutral with bears. I start from positive, with women and non-binary ppl. And I need men to work on their image so I can start out off a positive fist impression again. It's ESPECIALLY true when you multiply any of the players into a group. Group of women: Yes please, till proven bad! Group if bears: bad, till proven otherwise. Group of men: so much worse, till proven safe! ☹️ For you, it sounds like base assumptions are safe for all OR bit worse for bear and forces of nature. And again, that is what it SHOULD be.
I wouldn't know what to do if I met a bear at all. I wouldn't even know what type of bear it is. If I meet a bear in the woods, I'm PRAYING I also meet a man, particularly one with a hunting gun.... hopefully he's single and loves Jesus too.
Thank you!!! It annoys me that people do not seem to get what the whole thing is about and proceed to explain the biology and probabilities and yada yada of bears and bear attacks. That’s not what it’s about… I hope at least some people read your comment and think about it for a little bit, before calling women ridiculous for being intuitively more scared of a man than a bear.
My wife has ADHD and since her menopause it’s literally gone berserk. I love her but she is causing so much needless drama in my life Im struggling to cope. I know I need to be patient but it grinds you down. The house is like a junkyard, she buys shit we don’t need all the time. Any job which is always half done will have all items used left out. She is permanently offended and triggered by everything and massively overreacts. Three years ago she stopped using nouns and I never know what or who she is talking about. She wont sit and chat or even watch TV with me. If we go out for a meal her head is swivelling round the room and I don’t have her attention. She also makes massive decisions without consulting me which leads to problems in our life.
ENFJ here and I don't know why everyone raves about ENFJ INFP compatibility. Do you know what happens when you put two idealists together? A fractured mindset. Got to find balance and ENFJ INFP relationships are definitely not balanced. As a feeler the ENFJ really needs a logical person. Logic is better than feelings by far. Feelings lead to a lot of inconsistencies. Feelings are bad! Especially for EXFJs. As an intuitive I believe wholeheartedly that an ENFJ needs a sensor to bring them back down to earth. I strongly believe that we intuitives are flawed as such. Sensors are realists and we intuitives need to be with sensors. Sensors are not flawed unless they are an unhealthy person. I believe the ISTJ is the best match for ENFJ. I admit it. Logic must always lead the decision making process and ISTJ is perfect.
Are you selfish if you have ADHD i think so if untreated not having the tools and strategies i think caring for animals would help with this a great tool to help to think about others
I read something in the last few days (possibly Byron Katie) along the lines of: “If someone wants to be right, why wouldn’t you let them?” It’s a good reminder not to engage in arguments. Being right - or wanting to be - strengthens the ego, which can only cause more hassle. Great to see you back 🙏🏻
It seems too many people are looking too hard these days to take offense at all they can. I'm a Gen Xer with ADHD. I have abnormal mental processing, potentially to the negative, and abnormal intelligence, to the positive. Those are facts of my existence and using nicer words about it wouldn't necessarily help, especially on the neurodivergence side. The nicer the language used, the easier it can seem to dismiss the depth of the problems people may face. Calling someone on the street, screaming at phantoms, "mentally unwell" rather than "crazy" isn't helping them. Comfortable language can bury a problem, rather than surface it so it can be addressed.
Yeah nah best to speak your own mind. You were just being openly straight up weren't you. Nothing you'd said was at all outright hateful or about inciting violence or anything. But there's a push to curb peoples freedom of speech. I suspect that perhaps its intended to help extend the whole sheeple nature of humanity. The system revolves around maintaining the ranks of sheeple people.
There is a dystopian inversion in the West. Yesterday’s bigots are today’s hyper offended people. They use whatever the zeitgeist of the day is to bully anyone that is vulnerable.
Yes, men and women are different and have different strengths. Men make bad women, and women are bad at being men. Being comfortable in your own skin ftw.
I would be thinking and feeling the same as you after an encounter like this Lex. Im AuDHD. To me what stands out is tone of their behaviour rather than the lanuage as such. Their reaction is cyncial, over familiar, awkward and unprofessional. It strikes me that this is likely to occur within a group of people who are entrenched in the culture of their group and have low awareness of how that affects others i.e 'an in-group' With regards to the language itself it stings of allyship gone wrong or somekind of messed up abelism as a result of being cynical about exposure too so much disability. It makes me think of a chef who quips about special dietary needs due to every customer asking for mods to their food like gluten free, vegan etc. I think pehaps this is why the undertone is so offensive.... Its kinda passive agressive gaslighting style in the guise of inclusivity. I know I myself would be struggling to not go back and school them about hidden disability etc.... 🫂
Dont worry about whats trendy or not. Just do YOU !!! I am a returning follower and had missed your convos. Please continue with your own convos cos they are genuine and full of passion and grit. That's what I enjoy about your vids 😊
Fellow ADHD here, and I agree with you. There has to be a clear way for us to categorise all kinds of human experiences! I think that the only people getting offended by inclusive/exclusive language are the Neurotypicals *thinking* that it's offensive to us Neurodivergents!! How wrong they are... sigh.
I can see where both of you come from. Here's the thing: it's not a matter of "right or wrong". The reason they took offense, is likely because they have a high chance to have had many encounters with actually offensive parents who stigmatised children with support needs. So, while they suffered a misunderstanding, I'd rather them be on the fence this way round than the other way round. I'm an ADHD brain, too, and I actually did always find "normal" a problematic word in most contexts. Unlike words like "general" or "common", "normal" is a word that makes a value judgement on people and has done a lot of harm in the eay people think about others. It suggests "all that falls outside the range of nornal, is abnormal" whereas "common suggests uncommon or special case". Norm is difficult, because humans are not actually ever normal. 😂 It's always been a broad spectrum. And the most hilarious part is, if you take statistics, then actually very few individuals meet the precise definition of what is defined as "norm". We're all normal within some metric and outside norm within other metrics. Now here's the important part: your concern is valid. The problem was NOT actually that the struggled with the word. But how they chose to react to it. Because yes, indeed, it is actually problematic to react strongly to any matter from the get go. 😂 If they had reacted calmly and said "Actually, it's difficult for us to work with the word 'normal' because it's very stigmatised and very unclear what 'norm' even is. Could you instead tell us more about any things your child previously got support for or anything your child particularly struggles with, in schoon?" It would have been easy for you to clear up the situation, if their reaction had been clarifying, instead of shoving you into a "judgemental person" box. That WAS offensive. In reality, it's not appropriate to treat people from a place of judgement after a single word/sentence, even if it is openly offensive. 😅 Because even then, it's necessary to ask more questions to understand if they're really of a certain opinion or if they're having a misunderstanding of a subject. E.g. someone may make a racist statement but not actually have an understanding of it being racist and otherwise being as supportive as they can, within what they understand. Yes, the word "normal" is on the side of judgmental as we're not yet a society where the stigma of "not normal" is gone. It's an unhelpful type of word, in my personal experience but also that topic is discussed in science as problematic (aka how statistics and "norms" can have damaging effects, when ppl conceptualise "not normal" as a negative, even when judging themselves!). AND their reaction without calm clarification inquiry, was still inappropriate. Miscommunication is VERY common between humans. The "tiptoe-ing" only happens when ppl "run with their offense", not from "being offended" 😉 The "how we handle offense" matters, on both sides. You came in to express yourself and check in with others if/how your approach contributed to tze situation. And that is BRILLIANT. very very well done, Lex! 🤗
Your video had me thinking deeply about words, their meaning, and that they can be so easily misinterpreted. People get so hung on terms these days and make such an issue. You certainly didn't deserve to be reacted to in that way at your son's new school. One day you may get to explain what you meant to them ------- or maybe they don't matter enough in the scheme of things. Keep doing your wonderful videos with interesting topics ❤
Normal means boring to me. If you see the advancement of CRISPR gene editing technology and AI, one day eugenics will be possible to make us 'normal'. A boring world of genetically 'perfect' people. But yeah normal in your context is perfectly valid
You can easily take this one step further: Making things perfect is inevitably going to significantly slow down progress, because if there aren't any problems to be solved, why bother? You'd essentially take away the incentive to do so. It clearly reminisces me of the episode "Masterpiece Society" from ST-TNG which featured such a genetically perfect and completely optimized society that they have been unable to deal with some impending disaster, and it had been Geordi LaForge's disability (and the creation of his VISOR due to it) that finally led to the solution.
