”Ponder this: If you truly belonged to and with a group of people… a tribe, and all of your needs were met. Meaning you had belonging, you had protection, you had safety, you had stability, you had attention, you had love, you had togetherness, you were included, you were valued for your contribution, you were wanted and needed, you had comfort and a sense of certainty. You had support for your most basic needs such as food, water and shelter and physical affection. You had support for your achievements. And you had people to enjoy the world with, and it wasn’t going to just go away… what role would sexuality and eros play in your life then? Teal Swan. Thank you Teal for talking about this 🌎
sexuality should be enjoyed and explored within the loving and safety of a monogamous relationship. Causal sex leads to the break down of a tribe, casual sex is bad for humanity (think of the spread of STD, single parent families and increase crime in adolesence etc etc), and casual sex is worse for women. If Teal Swan is advocating the balance of yin and yan, equilibrium of masculine and feminine energies, then sex should not be separated from this balance.
Very good point, yes. What if you have all those things and do not belong anywhere, those things are your own? Are connections necessary at that point at all, and why would you bother with sex at that point since you don't need a second person to meet your needs?
One caveat is that what Teal said does not mean "don't be faithful" or "don't put importance on fidelity". You can be faithful. The problem is requiring/expecting too much from that person besides sex/romance/partnership/family. They don't need to satisfy your every need for community and belonging. You can have hobbies, multiple social groups, etc. outside of that relationship and that should be stressed upon. Just wanted to add to what she said, which was profound and enlightening on its own.
Right. It is our natural way of life as humans to pairbond with one main person romantically, monogamous or not. When we get into trouble is when we're relying on that one person to meet dozens of different needs we have, and we have no relationships that are built upon soul connection/original innocence without sexuality being required to be valued and connected. The tough part is figuring out where tf to find those relationships lol
Absolutely! I think that's why Teal often stresses "resource people"! We really shouldn't rely on only ONE person to be our everything, and I hope for people to gain the self-awareness when they start to depend too much solely on one person instead of balancing their needs with different people who can meet those needs. For me, the most crucial part of my self-awareness and healing was when I began to meet my own needs, realizing that although I didn't receive the love, compassion and nurture i needed growing up, I actually am capable of giving all of that to myself now as an adult
Very well put ❤... And it's true... It's not healthy to put all your needs for Emotional support on one person 🙏 Absolutely 💯 It is far too much pressure ❤
This was really good. If sexuality wasn’t a base for validation and security then that level of intimacy would grow naturally and result in harmonious connection.
This video shows everything this lady is; I’m speechless. I’m gonna reflect on these words. Im grateful for my process, because it allows me to receive this type of information as wisdom, truth, and guide. God bless her heart ❤️
Just imagine for one moment, a world without peace. Life lives by dying perennially. Sex is a depiction of that obvious, natural Trinitarian structure. The triangle is the strongest shape in nature. A man and a woman are the only pair that can make a child. A child needs the wisdom from the feminine mother (who is naturally weaker than the father) and the virtue from the father. Children of fatherless homes do commit more crime. This stuff is not complicated. Tribe is obviously unnatural and inferior to the natural Trinitarian, patriarchal, nuclear family structure.
This makes so much sense as to why when I was in my early twenties I would try so hard to look sexy because I felt like if I could attract a mate then that would give me a sense of self worth and they can show me all the love that I never really received as a child by my foster mum and foster family. My foster mum would always and still does put a big emphasis on how I look and notices if I put on a little bit of weight etc. She has always said I should be a model etc from a younge age so that also made me feel like I was just suppose to be attractive for the opposite sex (men). I crave tribe community so much. I crave deeper connections with others. I hope humanity goes back to this.
Hello, I hope you're safe over there? I hope this year brings happiness, prosperity, love 💚 , and peace all over the world 🌏. I would love us to be good friends in honesty and in trust so as time goes on it will bring something great for us in the future, hope you don't mind? I'm Frank Lange from Brooklyn New York, where are you from if I may ask?❤
Women are supposed to be attractive to men, otherwise men wouldn’t have that natural urge to make children. Imagine for one second that men didn’t have that natural urge. The extinction of humanity would promptly follow as no more babies would get born.
I think it's a really beautiful thing to have sex with one person, but sex isn't all we need. We are so much more than just sex. We need each other for support, companionship, security and everything you mentioned. ❤
@demonicaxeman7264 Of course. My intention isn't to say that sex is not important. Maybe I could have clarified that aspect more. I think it is. It can be a very connecting thing. Just that that's not the one thing that will wholly fulfill a person.
It's true I've always felt confused about "what I want" because deep down I want a tribe but society teaches us the goal is to get married and build your own tribe.
You literally just said that you have a deep desire for a tribe, but that society teaches you to get married and build your own tribe. The outcome is a tribe either way. A triangle is the strongest shape in nature. Masculinity perfectly compliments femininity. Children need mothers to feed them and fathers to discipline them. This is not complicated. A patriarchal, nuclear family structure is defined from the most complex systems to the least. It is everywhere, not just in society. In fact: it creates society. Society is nothing without the Trinitarian family structure.
@@kapackard There are actually eight different words for love in Greek I think, once I realized that it clarified a lot of things. I'd like to see a good explanation of these types and how they interact in life, I think that would be useful.
Imagine a planet of ultra hyper sensitive people living in villages, towns, city like a tribe, when a person comes of age a house is built by the community, using clean energy, and very tiny government
Yes! A tribe is what I want!!! What if we could live free to be ourselves, not afraid to loose everything, and be totally in connection with eachother! But it's like I'm the only one here who wants that. No one seems to be much interested though. I don't know where to start... At least I know I shouldn't feel crazy about this. Thank you Teal!
We, women of the world carry all these traumas in our minds, souls, spirits, DNAs and our bodies in cellular level and we pass a great deal of it to our girls if we do not work on it consciously.
In my experience, there is no security at all in any relationship since the standard is to not bond with anyone exclusively - it is a highly competitive world in which people more and more consume each other. We degraded ourselves to numbers, while the next one is always the more interesting option waiting on the horizon - like a rainbows pot of gold, never to reach and to bleed out before we ended our journey
Chidren play the key role in a modern relationship. They are a reason to stay together in a cohesive state and honor one another. Without the link of children it would have to be genuine compatability which i think is exceedingly rare.
@@joeprimal2044 yes. And the family acts as a higher ideal to stive towards. It could work without children but something about always looking towards the future is powerful. Future money, future fun, future fulfilment.
This explains so much about us, including why we tend to be susceptible to cults. Thank you for helping me find answers for some long standing questions.
Hello, I hope you're safe over there? I hope this year brings happiness, prosperity, love 💚 , and peace all over the world 🌏. I would love us to be good friends in honesty and in trust so as time goes on it will bring something great for us in the future, hope you don't mind? I'm Frank Lange from Brooklyn New York, where are you from if I may ask
You just fully described the anxiety I’ve been trying to figure out. This is why I’ve put so much focus on something that felt so insecure. I felt like my life was threatened if I didn’t figure this out. I hope you do more videos about tribe. Thank you again Teal
Hello, I hope you're safe over there? I hope this year brings happiness, prosperity, love 💚 , and peace all over the world 🌏. I would love us to be good friends in honesty and in trust so as time goes on it will bring something great for us in the future, hope you don't mind? I'm Frank Lange from Brooklyn New York, where are you from if I may ask?❤
Sexual Fidelity to me is that you're ENOUGH and They are Enough to Fulfill you. Instead many are looking at this as Currency or mass quantity (Greed). I still remember hearing about Wilt Chamberlain (NBA All star) growing up sleeping as other people in my class bragging how he slept with over 20,000 Women. How sick can you be not considering others emotional well being and only using these people to fulfill their own gratifications because of so called higher status, fame, or power? Very informative Vid Teal! Blessings!
Imagine what sleeping with 20.000 members of your preferred sex would do to you, then you know how someone doing that to themselves doesn't worry about how the 20.000 people feel. Also, those people probably felt good about themselves and empowered in their egos because they had a one time thing with a celebrity. So, are you really sure that the one having had sex with 20.000 women would be the one who is (ab)used by all these women, all of which don't even see his reality but only his image as a celebrity... Can't be healthy even just once, so 20k times as much isn't great either...
@@476f7474 Imagine having sex with a Soul or being that loves you with the most unconditional love you have ever felt? The person worships you and you feel this to your core. To have sex with a soul who Loves you- Real love not just bliss... and you feel safe with is an experience in itself... so it might be Quality not quantity, maybe? ? ? Blessings! :)
First, I am very familiar with tribal culture, since I live in Israel and have close Palestinian friends (who are still living in a tribal culture). Tribal culture provides security at the expense of personal freedom - if you step the least bit out of the confines of what is considered to be ok by the tribe, you will be banished (or sometimes even killed, if you are a woman). So tribal life isn't really all that wonderful. Second, I noticed in myself when I started being single, that when I had some scary event coming up in my life, I would end up attracting and having sex with a man (which ended up doing more harm than good usually). It took me several years to break this habit, and to learn to be there for myself or reach out to friends to help me deal with my fear. This video really explains why I was doing that. Thank you! I was quite perplexed...
Thank you for sharing this perspective. I feel with you re: the mistake of attracting men to deal with fear. Thankfully, we get to learn from our mistakes...
@@staciejean she is: that's the difference between healthy tribe and shadow tribe. In shadow tribe, there is consequence for stepping out of line, but in healthy tribe, everyone is able to get their needs met in healthy ways, and the structure is based on what everyone agrees would be best for them. You get both freedom and security, you don't have to choose one or the other :)👍
exactly..I mean the reason we no longer live in tribes in the first place is because we..evolved? Everything is risk to reward ratio in life. And she has this romanticized view on tribes, forgetting that people lived in tribes when we were mostly focused on survival and the average life span was probably 50. If we live in tribes now, how do we manage hierarchies and division of resources? Dunno. I guess it makes sense to care for one another but not at the expense of ourselves.
"You can have security any other way" I am so thankful that you vocalise this because it needs to be heard. There's such an unnatural pressure surrounding modern ideals of relationship expectations. That security comes from within only.
What a time to be a woman. How do I find my tribe then? I’ve been alone and been making a relationship my focal point for so long, and in todays society I feel it’s so hard to connect with people on a tribal level
People are already making babysteps to build their own small tribes where their needs and wants are met, but they dont work perfectly because of capitalist system. When the system falls down, which will happen pretty soon, these communities will rise
I honestly think she's off on this one. It ignores the fact that women and men have different biological needs and instincts. I agree we shouldn't expect to get ALL our needs met by a romantic partner, but that doesn't imply monogamous sexual relationships are wrong.
Don't listen to this, follow your own instincts. What she's giving here is terrible advice that is highly unlikely to provide long-term security or happiness.
@@martinestarot4703 where did she say that they are wrong? I think she meant that if we had all needs provided by the tribe we wouldn't need romantic relationships at all or we wouldn't put them on the pedestal like we do now. Or maybe I'm not understanding this the right way
As long as you have a few good people in your life and you choose to stay close to them, and if you find a good partner who you can create a family with, and you actually live your life (not online living), and without obsession over possessions and wealth, and without overthinking about spirituality and actually taking matter into your own hands (understanding that you choose how to live), and you are humble (not thinking that this entire universe exists for you, but you exist for it) - you will have a fulfilling life, you will be useful. When you give, there will be so much you will receive back. A community is what we need in today's world, a sense of belonging, and that can be created by just starting to live more with the few good people we have around us.
Communitty isn't the end all be all. I'll use just people on this page and the spiritual communitty at large to explain it to you. What if you disagree with most? What if you can't establish a tribe because you think differently? "Tribe" is just yet another loaded concept riddled with the EXACT same fears and insecurities surrounding sex for humans. Mostly, it's FEAR that binds people.
Yay I’m so proud of myself for understanding this without conceptionalizing it a while ago and intuitively starting to go in this direction by consciously feeding and valuing all kinds of friendships instead of being to fixated on romantic relationships. It all gets clarified in this video. Thanks Teal ❤
Teal, can you teach us more about tribe? What does ‘tribe’ mean, how do we achieve it, what does it look like in its most healthy/natural version? If I want to find/form a tribe, how do I go about it? 🙏❤️
Teal said it was natural. If it is natural, then you should be able to use intuition to figure it out now that you’ve heard about it. That is what natural allows.
I think you should definitely do this since tribe sounds a bit cultish. Taking Teal's argument to logical conclusion - similar tribe species are typically lead by either a single or small group of alpha males (Gorilla Chimpanzee etc) and the objective of monarchal leaders - later governments was to take that role dividing the populus for control and resource acquisition .
Thanks so much for making this video, Teal! This is so affirmative of what I already was thinking in the past few days, and how relieving it would feel to give up on the quest to find a partner (41 years old now). In modern society so many women (and probably men as well) find themselves involuntarily single and childless even if we try our best to realize these dreams. So we really need a tribe where we feel belonging and security.
hi teal, i think a big missing piece of the puzzle here is the fact that all sexual attraction stems from the desire to integrate shadow traits the other person is carrying. when this is an unconscious pattern it is much more difficult to control. monogamy is a viable container for the alchemical work and true sexual liberation is being able to redirect sexual impulses and desires into channeling creative works or for healing oneself and for greater psychological integration. i am always doing shadow work with myself and others who i am consciously drawn to and as such have no problems at all and feel completely emotionally fulfilled in monogamy (although i do have many loving friends and spiritual communities that fulfill my need for a “tribe”). i do not think it is a healthy dynamic for a family to have an “open marriage” and the kids are wondering where the mother/father is while they are out dating and sleeping with other people instead of dedicating themselves to their families and wives and constantly taking on energy transfers from others disrupting the primary partnerships. i really urge you to reconsider your stance on polyamory being “the way of the future” because although i agree with much of what you teach this i do not find to be true
@@emsomeo children have a very strong emotional need for the presence of their parents. plus, how many parents ACTUALLY have “tribes” that are willing to step in and raise your kids for you every time you decide to go on a polyamorous date? even most other poly people would not be willing to watch your kids for you, short of others who wish for the favor to be extended back to them so that they are in turn able to enable each other’s maladaptive relationship habits. its hard enough finding time for your primary marriage partner alone, then imagine trying to balance work and other people thrown in the mix. you would essentially become absent for the overwhelming majority of that child’s life.
not to mention when the parents are not a stable source of physical presence and emotional support that child will then grow up with severe attachment disorders and will be unable to maintain healthy long term relationships in the adult life and deal with massive commitment issues. this is also absolutely no slam against teal but the woman has had 5 failed marriages thus far so something must not be working out in a healthy way for her on an energetic level and i really hope she reads my initial comment as i really think it could help save her relationships in the future. she also looked very visibly distressed on an emotional level while making this video so i think she knows on an unconscious level this pattern is not healthy and has proven to be very detrimental in her life. not eating meat has the effect of avoidance of one’s own shadow essentially - 84% of vegans and vegetarians abandon their diet for a reason (i was also vegan for 8 years and had terrible health issues as a result of it - flightiness, ungrounded energy, loads of anxiety, dental issues, etc) and also think she should reconsider pushing this belief onto others in her videos as it can directly cause physical harm and terrible health effects. typically when this diet is adopted the first initial imprinting with death energy as a child was one that was extremely traumatic and difficult to process and really hope she can do some inner work here as well. any time i do shamanic work i consistently crave beef and potatoes to help ground me and integrate the experience fully - death is a necessary “evil” of life (to love life truly one must also love death) as well as facing ones own shadow despite protests not to have to falter on previously held beliefs.
I agree. Children thrive in stable, two-parent households + community enrichment. It is possible to have a tribe created from multiple monogamous couples, each with a partner to satisfy ~80% of their needs and friends, family and other connections for the rest. It’s not a patch job, it’s evolution at its best
Just when I thought I couldn't love you more!!! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I just woke up to My Purpose recently, and it's all about this. I'm sending you the biggest hug ever!
Hello, I hope you're safe over there? I hope this year brings happiness, prosperity, love 💚 , and peace all over the world 🌏. I would love us to be good friends in honesty and in trust so as time goes on it will bring something great for us in the future, hope you don't mind? I'm Frank Lange from Brooklyn New York, where are you from if I may ask?❤
A triangle is the strongest shape in nature. You cannot know joy without knowing suffering. Life is meaningless without death. Father is meaningless without child. Mother is pointless and doesn’t exist without either. Child doesn’t exist without mother or father. Masculinity compliments femininity perfectly: it is obvious that a man naturally is able to meet all of a woman’s needs and wants and visa-versa. It is obvious that a patriarchal, nuclear family structure is the best possible way to continue life.
Your video made me realize why I was the happiest when I was living in the college dorms. I had my tribe. We were like-minded, all of us in search of meaning and belonging. And through each other we were on the path to finding both. My girlfriends were always secondary to the tribe, never living in the dorms, never being part of the tribe. Fortunately for my tribesmen, they all found organized religions that they could be genuinely a part of.
For me it's natural to want only one romantic partner. We have security in relationship from building trust with your partner. I would not be capable of trusting my husband if he was sharing himself sexually with anyone else. I get my needs met through other relationships (mother, sister, friends, ect.) I still want a primary partner and security in that relationship. He provides some of those needs for me, and I see nothing wrong with that.
Hello, I hope you're safe over there? I hope this year brings happiness, prosperity, love 💚 , and peace all over the world 🌏. I would love us to be good friends in honesty and in trust so as time goes on it will bring something great for us in the future, hope you don't mind? I'm Frank Lange from Brooklyn New York, where are you from if I may ask?❤
So your spouse, who is BIOLOGICALLY programed to bond with other women who would help you with so many of the responsibilities of house and hearth and could bring you men that you are BIOLOGICALLY programmed to bond with to bring you joy in so many ways... you would deny yourself that for some illusion of security? You ALREADY share NEARLY EVERYTHING essential... who's electricity do you use? Where is the hospital you built for your medical needs? How many employees do you have on your payroll to grow the vegetables IN YOUR FIELDS? We already share everything. Monogamy is just another mechanism of division for the rich authoritarian, who think we need to be broken and bridled like horses.
@@teacake6941 yeah I disagree entirely. It causes us to have a very special and close bond that we do not share with others and we enjoy it. It makes us happy, so let people do what makes them happy. For some, not sharing thier bodies with multiple people will make us happy.
Hello, I hope you're safe over there? I hope this year brings happiness, prosperity, love 💚 , and peace all over the world 🌏. I would love us to be good friends in honesty and in trust so as time goes on it will bring something great for us in the future, hope you don't mind? I'm Frank Lange from Brooklyn New York, where are you from if I may ask?❤
Ahh, I've been pondering this for some time now and recently came to my own conclusion around exclusivity verses versatility. Collaboration over competition. Sovereignty over coupling. I've come to the end of my second marriage, have been exclusive to both my husbands which has spanned over 3/4 of my life and I know in my heart that collaborating within a tribe would be far more beneficial for my evolution than to exclusify myself again. Defining "Love" and what it means to me is where I am challenged and my heart still hurts, a lot.
I adore this woman so much, your views, the way you talk and covey your point makes me drool over you, you are an inspiration to so many women out there. I look up to you to be able to convey my messages as smoothly, kindly and from a place of pure knowledge and information to upgrade humanity. Sending a lot of love your way, thank-you for talking about these things
I do think monogamy is natural. It is the distortion of sexuality which makes it difficult for many. Monogamous couple can live within tribes such that they can have the advantages of tribal and family life.
Boom!!! She did again. Well done Teal, for a splendid truth explained. Will be sure to ponder how this affects physical health for my clients coming to me with stress/gut issues!
@gemiiadvdanca - I agree. I am older and this is not new. We tried this stuff when I was in college and thought we would change the world. I lived in 2 communes and observed plenty of others. It ruined my first serious love relationship because he became so jealous of the one other man I was with, though the polyamory was originally his idea; isn't it always the man! There are reasons for possessiveness in biological evolution. Even in tribal living, food was scarce and men wanted to support their own offspring, not other men's. Also, some people did all the work in the communes, while others had endless excuses. It is hard enough to get along with someone you are in love with, but living with a whole bunch of people? There was constant conflict. I think we may eventually evolve into what Teal is talking about and it sounds wonderful, but it will be very slow, because we humans have to grow a lot to be the sort of beings who can pull it off.
Firstly it’s difficult to build tribe with men centred as they are not community minded by nature. You said it yourself they didn’t want to look after the children of the tribe just their own which matches up with Male nature. For example male lions will ☠️ End the offspring of other male lions to make the female go back into heat and reproduce only his children. So I think first step is women only communities. That will eliminate lot of fighting due to s€x. If you want to meet your boyfriend you leave the tribe, do your business then come back home later in the day. Second I agree it will take time for people to develop the character traits for harmonious tribe living. Maybe only have people in the tribe who have those character traits instead of just anyone who wants to joining?
@@meagiesmuse2334 PRECISELY!! YOU NAILED IT! There will be other set of issues that will transpire in the community due to the lack of emotional maturity in all or most parties.. In fact, let's not look too far; Teal herself tried the community/Tribe living, and it was not sustainable for her, and I say this with love (trust me, I love her).. I believe she lives with her partner, her son and Graci (I learned this information while she was debunking “The Deep End.”) Perhaps in the future when humans are more emotionally evolved…
@@josieochoamezaemotionalcoach - I also love her messages more than any other spiritual teacher and I almost never disagree with her, but as she herself as said, everyone will disagree with everyone else about something! I do agree with her that our current set up is not healthy at all. Personally, I think we need to start with societal sanctions that make it admirable to spend more time in connection and community service, rather than working ourselves to death. (I'm speaking as someone who lives in the USA here and don't know about other places to comment.)
I can relate to this and appreciate the talk. Coming out as a lesbian at almost 40 has been very sad. I made several pit stops in the bdsm community looking for a sense of tribe with sexuality, but those circles were also run by the same people who repress minorities/ outsiders.
Thanks for the heads up, as a black man I will avoid the BDSM community. This is why, when I'm finished with getting my abs back, I'm doing o.f. and fans-ly. Don't have to work for anyone prejudice taking the majority of my money.
Absolutely insane wisdom here. Teal, I wrote a one woman show titled Danielle XX and tackled this acknowledgment of love for marriage being new and how we look at each other. Sources of inspiration came from you and pieces like this one are the reasons why! This is a real mind blower!
Thanks for presenting this Teal! When I look back at my own life, I can see my efforts to turn a relationship with amazing chemistry into one that felt safe and secure. Didn't work. I was activated and anxious all the time. In contrast, my x husband, whom I was married to for 27 years in a relatively sexless marriage, who was a great provider and family man, felt safe and secure for me. I'll enjoy playing with this in my mind today. Thanks for the topic! Saturday morning = New Teal video! Yay! 😊
What do you think gave him security in your relationship? And why were you so insecure in that relationship when you saw your husband as a great provider and family man who made you feel safe? I find it very odd and don't understand it, but I'd like to understand. Can you explain?
that's just being a woman. security is the main need women have in relationships, it comes from the fact that women are physically weaker, get pregnant and deal with a lot more discrimination in society in general-some of these reasons come from social trends but some come from biology.
@@Seamannon it sounds like she felt secure in her second marriage. And I’m not judging anyone’s life, as I don’t know the details- but I know I’d try to make the sex work if the marriage was great. Again, I know there are situations where you can’t, and that does not invalidate the relationship.
Diane, if you had chosen to go for security w/o sex, it is no wonder that you were 'activated + anxious'. I need sex when I have a partner in my life Though, it is difficult when seen in the context of a couple living together under the same roof. Boredom can set in. You see I've had 2 full blown marriages. And am a widow today. Did you ever try to talk about it to your partner ? After all, a marriage does imply sexual activity. If you did, what did he reply ? You would need to pop the question, diplomatically. And work on the 'how' both before (asking) and after (his response). The process may take 6 months to figure or to work out. Both of you are growing. It isn't easy to live through. But worth trying. Do you sex nights ? Do you have date nights ? Both are different. BTW, in my 3rd couple, my partner wanted a S. de Beauvoir & J. P. Sartre type relationship. We live apart. I disagreed. I think we are done now. After 5 months. He was appalled that I had challenged his 'authority'. So reverted to obliging me to chase him. Which I haven't. As you can imagine, we have wound up walking away from each other. And he is complaining that I had 'tricked' him. 😂 Funny how I was just supposed to obey his instruction. I believe we were mismatched. Have found out that he had other options. Which he had denied from the start. Guess he is still playing the field, at 73. And that's Life, right ? 😊
You've cracked the "code", Teal - this ridiculous, confusing monster we've created that is our system of conventionality and presumed expectations surrounding relationships and sexuality that people struggle so pitifully to disenmesh themselves from even intellectually. Thank you for a video which beautifully, intelligently, succinctly and refreshingly expresses what I and many others have been pondering for a long, long time. This and your other recent video about breaking free from the limitations of (currently/historically) conventional relationship models are definitely my personal favourite videos of yours. I greatly love and appreciate your having decided that humanity, including the millions who follow you/your content, is ready to bloody well hear these things, and to hell with those who can't (yet) wrap their limited minds around it. They have no right to dictate what may or may not be expressed. Dangnubbit, the Earth world is a god-damn grownup. Let 'em have it, Teal. Those of us who understand what you say will be greatly helped and appreciative of your courageous intellectual honesty. That said, the better I have come to understand these problems we face, the further I have come to realise we are from a world which does not inherently produce them, and thus the less hopeful I am of finding the conditions for happiness in one's own life; therefore, my own little solution has begun to be that of being as unconditional as I can about the forms in which I allow happiness to enter my life - that is to say, I get what I can when I can from my life and interpersonal relationships, which is nowhere near as pitiful as most make it out to be. I am working on this, for I believe it's the best one can do when one's future - and, indeed, that of the world one lives in - is so indeterminable.
I agree with a lot of this. But... when I was living in a beautiful community where I 100% had that safety of the tribe and all of the love, connection etc I could long for... I was STILL longing for that special romantic connection & lovemaking.
A tribe is the group of people that all like each other. That's the main problem. And this current day you can't get more than six people in a room together, before someone's arguing.
Please talk a bot more about this topic. It is so important. How Can we accomplish this? And didn’t we move away from this structure (vikings etc.) ? Because there were structures within the tribal communities that were not very Good. Sorry for my poor english 😬 I feel the pull towards a tribe but at the same time I feel the anxiety around the thought of not having my personal space and peace.
See you have a shadow perspective of tribe. You need to imagine what tribe should be like, that means inclusion of your needs and respect for your boundaries. Imagine people who can read you enough to understand and support your space and privacy. You have enmeshment trauma we all do so we avoid people. But we have to take our beliefs back of what we want it to look like and create it.
@@sailyx3jupy now the picture is clear to me "that means inclusion of your needs and respect for your boundaries" thank you. I have a question does the tribe mean friends or our close people?! what does it mean to belong to a tribe ? thank you again
@@Alaabatarseh I would think of it as a soul tribe, the people you end up with naturally who are aware and operating from their hearts. It doesn't matter if they are friends or strangers as long as they function in a tribe. In nature, many species function well with eachother as a tribe. Elephants and monkeys actually work together as a tribe to protect eachother from a mutual predator, the felines. Yet both also operate as individual tribes. People have not even learned how to coexist as a species yet, lol we have a long way to go. In the end the entire human race would be considered a tribe.
This is why building inner security is so freeing. For me inner security leads to making healthier choices that resonate with my authentic expression. And from that come very mutual relationships, where there is less claiming and more letting people be who they want to be. Within boundaries that both people feel good about. I also think that raising children together with a partner is not about them being together it is exactly about what the individual parent is able to give. I think if we all feel better in our minds and work on ourselves, that reflects on how we communicate and be with eachother and can help form a kind of tribe like society, maybe a bit different because change never happens overnight, but I like to see opportunities instead of obstacles.
Thank you Teal for this great episode. I'm grateful you're talking about this topic. And, I'm amazed at the timing! We're right in the revolution now, aren't we?! The world is about to change in a way we've never seen before... Releasing the sexual repression, moving into integrated harmony. I'm absolutely thrilled! 😍
Hello, I hope you're safe over there? I hope this year brings happiness, prosperity, love 💚 , and peace all over the world 🌏. I would love us to be good friends in honesty and in trust so as time goes on it will bring something great for us in the future, hope you don't mind? I'm Frank Lange from Brooklyn New York, where are you from if I may ask?❤
Cultures that encourage polygamy report higher rates of interpersonal violence and poverty. Intersexual competition doesn’t disappear just because we remove the institution of marriage. Men are designed to contain the mother of their children to secure the success of their genetic lineage. Individual, monogamous family units can combine to create the tribes you describe. This is happening in the upper echelons of American society. Wealthy parents connect with other wealthy parents to create a “homeschool” setting in which small groups of children can learn, connect and grow together in the same community over time. Multiple sets of grandparents, parents, children, aunts, uncles, pets, plus teachers, childcare professionals, and any other household help, loving and supporting each other over time. Thats a tribe
This is not necessarily just in "wealthy" households but is relatively common among middle class/working class Christian households. My homeschooling group began about 35 years ago with 2 families and as of this past year we have well over 250 families! Religious communities have been doing this since their inception, it is one of their most important contributions to society.
I am so blessed for being able to grow just because of your existence and enlightenment❤Teal… 🙏🏻 take very good care of yourself, you are so very needed. Crucial conversation.
I’ve been alone too long now and I feel like it’s killing me and I can’t find my tribe and I’m spending most of my time inside. If anybody reads this he can help I really appreciate it. I want my power back & would like love and peace inside and out.
I think the debatable side to this is polyamory also can fail because unequal distribution of attention or lack of self awareness, you could even say it would take just as much as not more self awareness to make this work. It’s just as ideal to have needs met in a monogamous relationship as in polyamorous. It can be hard to maintain individuality when you are in a group more so than one person, there is still a risk of being shunned in many scenarios which limits independent thinking, this is why historically many cases of indoctrination exist within various group mentalities, both these options hold there own risk that doesn’t exist only in a perfect world where everyone has a high degree of self awareness, I would say that self awareness is a prerequisite to any relationship with others and yourself other wise they all ultimately end up having dysfunction. So to find a healthy tribe is just like finding a healthy partner in a sense from my perspective. She does make a good point when speaking on how in other words having more people in our life meeting needs and not having this pedestal we put our partners on can be used to create healthier attachments, this would really aid in self regulation of our needs.
Tysm for this Teal, you have a way of expressing in a clear and organized fashion what I've been thinking my whole life! I like to put movies on in the background to watch passively and today I chose this movie starring Owen Wilson I forgot what it was called but it was about this married couple who have the typical boring suburban life and his wife notices him checking out other women. So she gives him a "hall pass" (a friend recommended cuz she heard about it from a shrink lol) meaning he can do whatever and even see whoever he wants for a whole week while her and their kid are gone. Turns out the guys are so emotionally immature and out of touch they can barely talk to a woman the first four days. It goes to show how your social development stunts when you're forced to try and make one person your everything. Meanwhile his wife is having a great time flirting and partying with another man. It was boring so I tuned out idk how it ended but it gave me an icky feeling. I was married at 19 and I decided it wasn't for me. I've known since forever I didn't really want kids and I didn't want something traditional but the older I get the more people are pressuring me to conform and "grow up". However the older I get the more I realize I want to live on my own terms. The less I seem to be able to tolerate going along with things that just do not feel right to me... Love u Teal.
Hello, I hope you're safe over there? I hope this year brings happiness, prosperity, love 💚 , and peace all over the world 🌏. I would love us to be good friends in honesty and in trust so as time goes on it will bring something great for us in the future, hope you don't mind? I'm Frank Lange from Brooklyn New York, where are you from if I may ask
You can still belong to a tribe while being in a monogamous relationship. Most people thrive in intimate relationships that involve exclusively one person. Although some thrive in polyamorous relationships, humans have historically practiced serial monogamy (pre-dating modern civilization/patriarchy).
So if most people thrive why the growing divorce rates as well as infidelity? Especially now that control structures such as religion and the suppression of women’s rights are diminishing and for the first time in American history human nature is playing a much higher role in how we relate, mate and marry. Technically we really don’t know how technology, the shift in policies/laws and belief systems will continue to impact relationships. We are basically learning and adapting based on observation and experience:)
@@ShadaeMastersAstrologyI think you missed the difference between monogamy for life and serial monogamy. People didn't stay with one partner permanently but tended to have sex with one partner at a time and for longer periods.
Tribes are all very nice BUT discernment is paramount, otherwise THE tribe will lead you down the wrong path. Quality not quantity of tribe is necessary. It’s all about finding your true identity !.be it from the tribe or a sexual romantic relationship. Too many people think the grass is greener on the other side !.
I disagree that monogamy isn't "natural." It is a human desire for many people that occurs within nature and therefore, natural. Although, many people just think they want it because that was the script they were fed. We are also descendants from many different types of primates who have various sex and social structures. I do agree that sexuality and security should be separate, however, even if I had a full tribe I could rely on, I would still wish to have a child with only one person and them to be faithful to me while also supporting and being a friend and father figure to the other people in that tribe. I believe this is a more healthy way to look at things. In a true tribe there would be some people who desired some things and others who desired others but we come together for the common goal of supporting each other and the "society" we created
This misses a huge mark. People don't need a tribe. Family is the foundation of society, even with a tribe. This is like Cartman saying ' i do what i want!'
Your tribe IS your family. Tribes are genetically related. Over time you’ll become more genetically related (that’s when tribes start interbreeding to prevent inbreeding)
Yes most of this is pure conjecture and tells people what they want to hear. Yep you can have sex without the responsibility of having to raise the kids you produce...somebody else will do it for you. In reality the anthrological studies of tribal life by Malinowski illustrated family life was still important.
love this topic.. pair bonding and jealousy are real... if you were taking care of a baby and say you need your roof fixed no one is going to be more motivated than the father of that child to help and protect you specifically… as a Sicilian the extended family is a tribe but the vibe and stability of the group would get thrown off constantly if no one had stable spousal relationships especially with children involved .. kids and the people you inter-rely on for sustenance don’t know what to expect and I could see it not feeling safe .. the honeymoon phase of each new romantic bond can last for years .. there must be some reason every culture on earth has gravitated toward marriage and we cannot predict the unintended consequences of undoing that (also I tried polyamory for years albeit not in a communal tribal setting)
This is why i feel like i was never meant to be in a relationship. Dont get me wrong, i have trauma that feeds it, but i know this is the real reason i feel that way. I feel absolutely offended and eventually disgusted by my partners behaving like they deserve access to my body for the purpose of pleasure, i dont care if it includes my own. Thats not how i want to be. I dont want to hurt their feelings either and it always does. They act like me feeling this way means i dont love them or want to be with them and its just not true. I dont enjoy or like to feel "owned".
@@karithedoc4764 I love that too. It feels more like a level of respect, that allows me to feel free. Because that trauma, is what I blame for not wanting to be sexual with multiple people lol
Damn Straight. I've possessed a "knowing". For the last four years, I've often had the thought , heard the phrase or received a continual download of the words "Time to Gather". I've perceived it as a forewarning to these times as we are being tested by the darkness with the Father of Lies in our midst however, all the while... understanding and feeling it is what we need. But I would have NEVER been able to see or put together the sight you shared with us today. Thank you!!
some of your videos are true paradigm shifts Teal...i hope you discuss this in a podcast or longer form...its a message women must hear and contemplate on.after being recently heartbroken, this is the only one that feels truly liberating.
So this is why we are all f*cked. Been thinking this for years. hearing this laid out so linear gives me clarity on the subject . Thanks Teal this is s big one .
Women don’t need men. (Men are the cause of so much viol€nce and violation for women) Men need women. Women need community support with each other. IF she wants to reproduce she can sleep with a man then go about her business, women in many tribes worldwide do that. If not what’s the NEED for a man? She might want one but it won’t be a need. In most of nature males are sperm donors anyway. That’s just facts.
people are not capable of loving without being hurt, just because they were not looking for love, but security... if you are capable of looking for love without hurting yourself and others, you don't need security, you are in love, it is separate. you got it.😉
Security and sexuality aren’t separate. Security follows sexuality naturally. Men need children and women need resources. Men make children with women, then men give resources to women so that they can grow the children. The men stay to have meaning, and the women stay to have resources. They obviously want peace too, and their wants and desires are naturally complimentary, so peace naturally follows if they use what they have, which is obviously enough for all of their needs to be met.
@sreckobrekalo4858 It is literally and obviously impossible to know joy without suffering. We look for security because we want to stop suffering. We love because it is all we can do to be sane. Love shows us the way to security. We want security because we want to stop suffering. Thus, in suffering, we receive the seed of love, leading to joy and security. Love is one with security. They are inseparable. You need and want both if you need or want either. You cannot know love or security without suffering. Life lives by dying perennially.
Tribe: a group of people whom hangout together generally in life, having a general interest of the healthiness and wholeness of the group. There are different kinds. Different dynamics with each one.
@lorelaiperrin but where is the security there? It's safety but only as long as you are in synch. Affinity groups are just a fun type of shadow tribe, no security.
And what about the children who are born from non-monogamous relationships? Do they not deserve the stability of a mother and father in a committed relationship that prioritizes their well-being over their parents’ pursuit of pleasure and belonging?
Hello, I hope you're safe over there? I hope this year brings happiness, prosperity, love 💚 , and peace all over the world 🌏. I would love us to be good friends in honesty and in trust so as time goes on it will bring something great for us in the future, hope you don't mind? I'm Frank Lange from Brooklyn New York, where are you from if I may ask?❤
While I do agree with the overall point of this video, I do think it kind of skips over the misogyny aspect of why romance and sexual security is valued in most women. Because men were taught to see women as property, they were taught to see sexual women in an especially contemptuous light. Most women are taught to frame romantic interest as a defense against that point of view, since a man is less likely to treat you like an object if he has romantic feelings for you, allegedly. So of course women would focus on becoming the "exception" and "wifey material" to avoid the fate of becoming a sex object. I would argue the view on women as property has linked sexuality with security moreso than romantic interest, which means its an issue men have to solve for themselves, rather than something women have to factor in and apologize for. We're literally trying to survive in a world that still views us as playthings, of course we'd go for anything that claims to take us seriously and claims to take our concerns seriously. The problem is men being taught that sexuality should have no boundaries, and the romanticization of coercion in most media meant to appeals to men. The nuclear family and marriage can definitely be traps for women, but is it really that strange a choice when we consider what the alternatives actually are for most women? I think putting the blame on "society" and "nuclear families" is really missing the point, rather than looking at the way men are taught to approach relationships, which is all wrong. If men were taught that they could have interesting, fulfilling lives without exploiting and diminishing women romance and sexuality would be a very different thing from what it currently is. But because everything has to be framed around the male ego, women are still unfairly judged and alienated simply for pursuing their desires if it doesn't fit into the masculine idea of what women should be. And that's not on women. That's on male insecurities, which men are still encouraged to address in very unhealthy ways.
Great point. I wouldn't say it's exclusively on men, because the mirror in uswomen is the need to step fully into our sexual power (which exists in a state of innocence) - with that, we willnolongerbe regarded as playthings. But yes, all that you say is what's been planted in our DNA and is our hard work to rise from... both men and women.
Tldr ; you want to blame men for the whole problem. Which is why there's whole groups of men blaming women for the problem. Whatever one side does it will be mirrored back by the other side. Feminist and manosphere. BTW which men are you guys blaming? Cuz my black ancestors may not be perfect but they looked at women as more equal than other cultures, or we were enslaved when your white men made these rules. Funny how melanated men are mixed in with the rest of men when we were in the fields while y'all women at least we're in the house
@@bakionigeri6414 lol maybe you should read since you missed the actual point. Also, super interesting that you brought up slavery since that's the primary source for these messed up relations between men and women. In what world were all women in the house? Black women were definitely in the fields doing hard physical labor along with men if you look at any accurate historical accounts of slavery. As for the slaves in the house (both men AND women), they also suffered greatly and were usually even more likely to be victims of assault due to their proximity to the masters. Men have been taught through institutions like slavery and imperialism to perceive sex primarily as a power exchange that's inherently dirty for women rather than a pleasurable experience that can be fine for both parties involved which is why their relationship with sex in modern times is so miserable and focused on "conquests". But perhaps this is too long for you to read anyway
@@NB-yu4lj what accountability should be taken? What role do women play in being sexually exploited and diminished? If this is a 50/50 issue, why are yall so focused on what women need to do? Because we've been subject to purity culture, hypersexuality, and everything in between. Like I said, we did our part. Women have been trying to find a healthier view of sexuality for decades, even centuries. What have men been doing?
I want tribe and I want to pair bond. Are you telling me we can't live as a community of different relationships? Its just assumed everyone is going to be sleeping with everyone? 😂😂😂 I think its a spiritual pathway. Your partner becomes your ultimate mirror. There is an incredible potential for spiritual development and thats why souls choose it. Its not unnatural, many animals bond for life; Scorpio/8th House rules this energy.
Many animals MATE for life not bond. Which means they just pick the same partner every year for mating season. Birds do this way more than mammals. I think only 5% or so of mammals mate for life. We obviously are not one or infidelity wouldn’t the the cause of 55% of divorces so it can’t be natural for humans.
This is 100% what I'm discovering right now. Actually I understood this or parts of it before but now it's right here, all of it. Thank you so much!!!I'm going to watch all of your videos today🎉❤
I think this comes down to the enneagram subtypes. As a sexual sub type, the idea of relying on a group doesn’t appeal to me. Meanwhile, I have no resistance to being sexually faithful to one person. I have since I was 18 and it hasn’t required any will power. Teal must be a social subtype. I don’t think one strategy is better or worse than the other.
I don’t disagree. But I wonder… in parts of the world where people still live in tribes, for example the Maasai tribes in Keneya and Tanzania, sexuality is still a factor for security. (Or rather insecurity)These tribes are still run by patriarchy. And even if the tribe provide for all of these factors you mention, sexuality still runs by the men and is a property of men… so in that aspect, sexuality (or sex) is the factor that brings insecurity.. the tribe mentality doesn’t automatically means that people, in most case women, will feel security. Just because you are a part of a tribe doesn’t mean that you are safe in all these factors that you bring up. Has it ever existed a tribe where women have been secure, and especially when it comes to sexuality? I’m not arguing with the intention to disagree with you, I truly want to discuss the topic. I feel what you saying and I want it to make sense. But studying cultures and history make me think that it’s more of a wishful thinking that a tribe mentally would work so easily to benefit everyone in it. (Excuse my English, it’s not my firs language and I hope I make sense in what I’m trying to say) ❤
Beautifully said! I just missed a very destructive influence in this story: Social media and Smartphones. Let's start a new tribe and community, with good healthy grown food, art, etc. :)
