The Mammal and The Reptile - A Painful Story 

If you feel like activating your funny receptors some more, then check out Phil's other fantastic material at the following links: RU-vid - ru-vid.com Twitter - twitter.com/PhilJamesson If ya nasty!

This is genuinely a better piece of philosophy than the actual philosophy paper he wrote.

He's saying "If ya nasty" because someone told him he couldn't just say "perchance"

The sequel that nobody deserved, but everybody needed

"Some believe that pain inspires art. [...] Creation is an inviolate act, and those searching for the divine need not descend to Hell for fuel." Quite a beautiful quote actually.

He wasn’t wrong, it was a very painful story.

I love it when my students turn in BS assignments. Some of my recent favorites include a rather elaborate, carefully crafted website called "The dirty dishes in my sink and how I will deal with them", and another one dedicated to why spinach soup is the source of all evil. They did their web design neatly so no complaints here.

He’s such a master writer that he switched from mammals and reptiles to pain receptors and dissections to the utter horror of Denny’s.

My favorite part is the teacher correcting "Jar Jar Bink" to "Jar Jar Binks". Professionalism.

Did I know that we would get a Phil Jamesson sequel? Perchance.

The gentle and disappointed delivery of “I know” is what gets me.

"When you get hurt, you are less likely to continue or repeat the behavior that hurt you." _(good)_ "That's why I don't go to Denny's anymore." _:(_

Phil Jamesson is truly one of the writers of all time. Perchance. If you are nasty

I never thought Phil Jamesson would return. Not since he left his place of comfort to stomp a turty, and ESPECIALLY not since The Accident. However, his return is a Christmas miracle, almost as mythical as the nonexistent Dr. Pepper. Perchance.

As a college student, I cry for the writer's loss of all marks. As a tired professor, I would consider this submission top tier entertainment.

I wonder what happened Phil Jameson at Denny's. It clearly impacted him deeply, as he no longer uses "Perchance".

That's why I don't go to Denny's anymore, not since...the accident

I love these nonsensical essays. Shows me I could be doing a lot worse as far as academic writing.

i wonder how bad his Denny's experience must have been to warrant such disdain for them

As an Ultrakill player, descending to Hell for fuel searching for the divine is literally what I need to do

i love how you covered the F in a way that'd make us think it's an A, which is what he SHOULD have gotten by the way

The sequel we didn't know we needed. Perchance. If ya nasty!

I find it funny the actual points this guy gave of "everything can be linked to pain in some form" and "pain can inspire art" were both labeled as off topic, but they didn't have any problems with him using scientist as an example for a mammal.

The funniest thing for me about the student, including Jar Jar as a mammal and a reptile, is that he's an alien. So, even if he was real, it'd still be wrong to mark him down as either.

The hard hitting line of “there is naught in this world but pain” followed up by talking about pain receptors is truly a transition

"Those searching for the divine need not descend to Hell for fuel." The greatest philosopher of our time.

Phil Jameson hitting us with yet another banger

if there is anything i learn from this guy writings, is that I won't be going to Denny's anytime soon ...and that Jar Jar Bink's is both reptile & mammal

“One’s got cold blood, and one’s got warm? But who is the little egg, and who is the little worm?” Incredible poem.

"If ya nasty" is the new "perchance"

Finally another Phil Jameson sequel

This simultaneously includes science, art, philosophy, history, and theology (?). Truly brilliant, perchance.

I like how the red pen person is MORE of a Star Wars geek than the author, correctly writing “Binks” while the author wrote “Bink” twice

If you are nasty, perchance.

The Denny's comments alone makes this deserving of an A.

If ya nasty, perchance.

"Creation is an inviolate act, and those searching for the divine need not descend to Hell for fuel" is a crazy follow-up to statements such as "If you are nasty" and "Get 'em outta here"

Return of the king, Phil Jameson you are legend. Perchance.

Some of my favorite parts of this: 1. The teacher spells Jar Jar’s name correctly in the comment, thus soft correcting that soft inaccuracy 2. The ‘If you are nasty’ (the second one) is so structurally beautiful bc it reads as if Phil had a premonition of the feedback for the first ‘if ya nasty!’ and passive aggressively adjusted for it by just correcting the grammar (ditto for the repetition of the Denny’s deet, except that one mainly just comes thru the repetition itself and Jeaney’s inflection change), and the way the teacher commented on the thing below it with ‘off-topic’ makes it look like that comment was made on ‘if you are nasty’ as a passive aggressive comeback to the correction from the ‘Don’t call the reader nasty’ comment 3. It’s called a story, but there’s not rly much of a narrative (unless you wanna be generous with that word) 4. I love the adorably humble ‘Hm?’ that Jeaney gives to the question mark at the beginning cuz it’s such a teacher ‘Are we sure about this?’ sound and idk how he got that so perfectly with one non-speaking syllable 5. It took longer than I care to admit for the ‘painful story’ pun(?) to sink in 6. The fact that the job title ‘scientist’ rather than homosapien or even human being is the ‘famous mammal’ listed with ‘dog’ is so stupid but in such a calculated way and it’s just perfect 7. The teacher needs no reassurance that Phil wrote the opening poem, but is genuinely at odds over whether the ‘descend to Hell for fuel’ part is an incisive but laboriously heavy-handed quote from some piece of High Middle Ages or Renaissance literature that Phil integrated into his essay in a plagiaristic way, or some random gobbledygook Phil pulled out of his ass just like the rest of the essay which also came off as being way more high-minded than it should’ve been (also much like certain parts of the rest of the essay)

I firmly believe the :( is not a sign of exasperation, but just the teacher remembering what happened at Denny's and a sign of sadness when Phil brought it up again.

We are blessed with another work of art from the Mario The Man guy

suddenly feel a lot more confident in my writing abilities.. ty phil

How to end a sentence: Thats why i never go to dennys anymore. ***Not since the incident***

I love that the teacher was so done with them by the midway point, they couldn't be bothered to provide helpful criticism and simply opted for the age old "☹️" to express their utter disappointment! 😂 _(also, it's videos like these that make me so happy I found Jeaney's channel 😊)_

You'd think Phil would get it together, having taken 200 biology classes prior to this one

Phil Jamesson is the best at writing essays, change my mind.

God I need "That's why I don't go to Denny's anymore"

He even wrote a poem and everything, come on, he’s the mastermind of our generation

"Phil Jamesson" OUR KING HAS RETURNED!

I freaking love these. I don't know why, but seeing someone's graded report paper with annotations, like this, is just so darn fun to me!

This would be a fine addition to the essay collection, alongside "Mario, the idea vs. the man", perchance, if ya nasty

Your video will make a fine addition to my "RU-vid algorithm strikes again" collection

Going to hell in search of fuel? Sounds like ULTRAKILL!

I love that the censoring of the grade leaves the possibility for an A open

Mario the idea vs Mario the man.....

the text was so legendary 8 people had to bring this to your attention me included, if ya nasty

I'm a third semester biology student and this was flawless

Thank you Phil Jamesson for blessing us once again

The SINGULAR Bink

"and those searching for the divine need not descend to hell for fuel" ULTRAKILL REFERENCE?

Oh, Phil Jamesen...Hope he has a lot of this because this shit is great😂

the best part is the disregard of second and first person usage

he turned something in. beats half his peers already.

OH i remember seeing this thing before and some dude said they wanted Jeaney to read it, i think he will be very exited to see this!

It's been 3 monts and suddenly, the phrase "if ya nasty" floods back into my brain. Love it.

I love the teacher's hopeful "Good" being immediately crushed by "Thats why I dont go to Denny's anymore."

Phil Jamesson is a goddamn genius of writing

The sequel to “you can’t just say ‘perchance’” we didn’t know we needed

More Phil content! Loved his channel from years ago, too bad he hasn't posted anything in months (the "15 years later with no CGI" makes for a fantastic last video)

This makes me want to MANKIND IS DEAD. BLOOD IS FUEL. HELL IS FULL. If ya nasty.

0:43 bro went British - Irish - British in matter of seconds

"For those searching for the divine have no need to decended to hell for fuel" V1: Nuh uh

I have a suspicion that the hell for fuel part is an ultra kill reference

“Perchance.” Comes with a sequel. “If ya nasty.”

I love how how you made it sound as if the writer was reciting it and the teacher was reacting to it as he was saying that.

This gives me severe "Mario the man" energy 😂

Phil Jameson back at it again! Keep it up, baby! Perchance.

Th return of Phil Jameson. What a day to be alive

Finally another work by a true literary marvel. Perchance.

"Jar Jar Binks is not real" yeah he was talking about Jar Jar Bink. Massive difference.

Opening with, "There is naught in this world but pain." and then immediately starting to talk about pain receptors is a galaxy brain writing decision.

The use of repetition in this poem is profound! I can see the direct impact that the second “if ya nasty” had on the narrative!

"If you are nasty" gonna start including that on random phrases

There's really some profound and hilarious stuff in there.

At long last, the sequel to Mario the idea vs. Mario the man. Perchance. We must always treasure these essays, if ya are nasty.

Why does this remind me of that "100 years ago" poem Rodrick wrote in Diary of a Wimpy Kid?

bro wrote a standup monologue and turned it in as an essay

The legendary Phil Jamesson is back

If he submitted that in literature class instead he would have got an A+.

I love the little 🙁 at one point in the feedback

The teacher has no imagination. Obviously the little worm was the friends we made along the way.

I would’ve burst out of laughter if this ended with ‘perchance’

He finally made a sequel!!!! Perchance.

If ya nasty will now be in my daily lexicon

I think its even better how he is the same person who wrote Mario the idea vs mario the man

And thats why i dont go to dennys anymore feels like an abridged series recurring gag

From the man who blessed us with "Everyone knows Mario is cool as fuck" comes "Creation is an inviolate act, and those searching for the divine need not descend to Hell for fuel". Perchance

"need not descend to hell for fuel" ULTRAKILL

Never thought i’d run into Phil Jameson’s essays again. Perchance.

That’s why I don’t go to Denny’s anymore, perchance