The Missing Piece Of Women's Evolution 

My latest video asks whether or not chivalry is dead. Check it out: www.patreon.com/posts/71104835

women " I didn't want to hurt you" no you didn't want to get caught

This happened in my marriage. Wife was pregnant with twins and we already had a 2 year old. I pushed hard for months to get a live in nanny before the twins were born, constant pushback from wife and eventually mother in law got involved, so I dropped the idea. The twins were born, it was a disaster and eventually my wife acknowledged that we should have got a live in nanny. When I told her that it’s her fault her response was “you should have pushed harder for one”. I almost filed for divorce that day.

The idea of a woman been consistent to her emotions over objective reality is something I have never considered. Never knew that accountability to ones emotions vs reality was even a thing!

A good example of women not being held accountable is our "Justice" system that favors females to the extreme being much harsher on males than females.

Chivalry doesn’t even mean what society suggests. Chivalry was a code of ethics for specifically knights and warriors. In short it was a class of behavior that dictated that men of strength and power should display discipline by showing kindness and consideration for those weaker than themselves. This would include women children and the elderly and in some cases less fortunate men. Chivalry was the ultimate form of masculinity.

I'm a retired college professor and in my thirty year career, had to deal with both male and female administrators. When things went wrong, the males often (not always) responded with "How can I fix this?", taking accountability for correcting the situation. When things went wrong, the females rarely responded with "How can I fix this?" but instead sought to assign blame to someone else without correcting the situation. When they female administrators did acknowledge that a mistake had to be set right, they invariably delegated the task to someone else, distancing themselves from it as much as possible. The female administrators, when criticized, almost always assumed the posture of a victim, while the males often said (grudgingly) "Ok, fair enough, I hear you." Male-led departments at our college were almost always more effectively and decisively led than female-led departments. I've come to the painful but inevitable conclusion that in most cases, it's desirable to have men in charge because we will take accountability for correcting mistakes, while women seek to avoid it. There's a reason societies have been led by males throughout civilization; females rarely possess the essential trait of leadership, which is Harry Truman's motto: "the buck stops here".

Her survival takes priority over accountability.

Was talking with a friend with his girlfriend present and where talking about his problems that he runs into. She was nodding and saying yes all the time, until the focus came to her. Evasive as hell the whole time trying to get back to that friend.

It's almost impossible to have these kinds of common sense discussions because any discussions of differences devolves into accusations of sexism.

This girl was attracted to me. I asked - Tell me some negative sides about yourself? She told me 6 positive sides.

I've been married for 38 years and my wife almost never takes accountability for anything she does, she doesn't offer to change or compromise. Instead she invariably finds a way to blame me. In her mind everything is my fault.

Q: "How do you write women so well?" A: "I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."

Psychopaths have zero ability to see themselves as wrong.

Alex, you have one hell of a channel. I went from not having a girlfriend or any romantic interests when I first started watching you, to now having a girlfriend, and I must say along the way literally everything you’ve said is near dead-on, and this video is honestly the culmination of all your work in my opinion. I’m a Patreon subscriber and have used your heyhero service once before, thank you for all you’ve done, incredible work.

This is what goes on in the mind of a woman when she does something she knows is wrong: "You can't blame me, I'm just a girl! You need to protect me! Even from myself!"

Damn Alexander, you did it again. "MIND BLOWING THOUGHT". This now puts a lot of things in perspective. I just wish your channel was much bigger, every man and woman I know, needs to hear this. Some how we need to get you more subscribers....

We should hold women accountable.

This is very true-its extremely rare for a woman to admit that she was responsible or even partly responsible for a failed relationship/marriage. Generally women will tell you their ex partners flaws & make him out to be a bad partner so you only get to hear her side of the story.

I have never met a woman who did not blame men for anything or everything that was wrong with their lives. It must be hardwired into them.

1997 film, "As good as it gets." A very underrated actress, Julie Benz (Darla character on TV shows "Buffy:The Vampire slayer" and "Angel") asks _How do you write women so well?_ Jack Nicholson's character replies: I think of a man, and then I take away reason and *accountability.*

Whamen don't want to be accountable for ANYTHING :)

Accountability is a learned trait. Men just learn it earlier in life than women.

Exactly. When there is a problem in a women circle it usually ends up in gossip, rumors, and alliances. While for men it's more problem solving and common sense that ensues.

This was an amazing discussion. I really liked what you just explained here! Really valuable content.

The "logic" of lying to your boyfriend about your sexual history so as not to hurt his feelings is very ironic since he will be more hurt and never trust you again when he finds out you lied to him...i think that is more an excuse to not tell anyone about your sexual history as opposed to sparing your boyfriend the sadness of knowing you are a not as pure as you pretend to be

Another brilliant video. Thank you Alexander.

With men, it seems there's always a struggle between leaders who lead by example, with accountability, and leaders who get to that position by intimidation, never accountable. Most women seem to lack both accountability, and the need to use intimidation. They achieve by relentless pressure and manipulation.

It's not leadership positions for men, it's all positions -- because we work cooperatively, and not all men are the same, we arrange hierarchies of specialization and authority. If accountability doesn't flow throughout the hierarchy, you get a failed hierarchy because it's not self correcting. Leaders are accountable for their decisions. Followers are accountable for performing to a standard that can be assumed by leaders and other men at your level and below.

I agree that accountability happens on both ends, but it's stressed more on men. Why? Procreation is secondary to survival. The stakes are much higher. Also, accountability is based on what you can get away with. Since we live in a society that just CATERS to women, There's no serious reason to be held accountable.

Never give up your frame. Force her to take accountability, and freeze her out until she does.

I never ever heard a woman take accountability. I fired 3 women in my career. In all instances they pointed the finger at me their coworker the client. They attempted to call seggsim and discrimination. I take out the sheet with ALL their mistakes. I make sure a woman signs off on her goals tasks and objectives. I make sure calls are all recorded. Particularly the part about do you understand the objectives? Do you understand you at FAULT for failure? You are RESPONSIBLE? You get this yes, you are to BLAME. This is the only language they understand. You have to be firm direct to the POINT. Despite all this, expect blaming of YOU, the company and of course misogyny and sexism and fear of women being strong and growing.

The big problem with evolutionary psychology is that it can explain a lot of things but none of these explanations can be subjected to reliable scientific validation. It's all logical reasoning and no experiments or measurements to validate the reasoning. So the scientific validity of all these theories is low. If the outcome of a scientific experiment is A, then you can explain it with evolutionary psychology. If the outcome of the same experiment is the opposite of A, you can explain that with evolutionary psychology, too. Which makes evolutionary psychology pseudo-knowledge. If a lot of research followed by proper statistical analysis shows that women more often lack accountability compared to men, then that would be interesting to know. But speculation as to the exact cause would need its own scientific validation (which is a lot harder).

Great video mate. I'd love to see more on evolutionary psychology 👍

The missing piece is the lack of a father and the presence of a single mother.

The lack of accountability sounds like our modern day politicians.

A TV programme called 'The Island' had a group of Men and Women on an Island to work out how to survive. The Men worked out that the important things included a source of drinking water for the group. Two of the prettiest women decided their hair needed washing because it was not to their liking so unbelievably they both washed their hair in the container of drinking water contaminating it making it unsafe and unsuitable to drink. When they were confronted after lying first about doing it they actually tried to defend their actions and then went into sulky little girl mode. A total lack of accountability and quite sickening.

Abusing positions of power is actually hard. You’ll get away with it once or twice, sure, but not only is it very likely that you’ll be caught eventually, the time in-between will be a horrible with constant pressure of avoiding getting caught and your conscience telling you you’re doing wrong.

Women's lack of accountability makes me remember the old wisdom. Islam is RIGHT about women.

Thanks for today’s lecture. As an 87, who found out about his wife’s affair, early on in our long marriage, many years later, I have enjoyed and learned much from your many discussions about male/female relationships. To offset and understand my deep emotional pain, I became an ameteur student of human psychology by reading and attempting to grasp the import of a considerable amount of professional Literature on the matter. Much of what you discuss in your presentations is an enhancement of those studies and you so it so well in a very practical and streight forth manner. Thanks for sharing your insight and analysis of a most important issue.

This is a vital subject that needs to be explored.

One thing in common with people gifted with poor management skills, but still highly placed in a firm

The perspective, the point of view is very interesting. I've seemed to discover an amazing channel.

There’s a talk by some US Army guy who speaks about companies promoting highly subject-competent assholes instead of semi-subject-competent people who are respected by their peers for social and other qualities. The Army apparently does that: They ask everyone in the group who they trust most and that guy gets to be the leader.

I grew up in the middle of two sisters. When I did something wrong, my parents held me accountable. When my sisters did something wrong, my parents made excuses for them. This is very common in the upbringing of children in Western societies. So is it really biology or socialization that explains women avoiding accountability? Men are accountable from our earliest memories (and boys are punished far more often and more harshly than girls both at home and at school) while girls merely have to whip up some tears and all is forgotten and forgiven. Most likely its both "nature" and "nurture". We human beings are complicated animals, aren't we?

Women don't select accountable men, look at all the single mothers!

Most women are completely incapable of self reflection until they hit the Wall and the cats come a knockin.'

When her job is an accountant but she’s not accountable for her actions

Lol! On dating sites I ask them why thier last relationships failed. They say everyone of their exs was an asshole! I say "oh, so it is you who keeps choosing assholes! I am not going to be your next mistake". Block. I cannot stand adults that think like children, always the victim, destroying everything around them and then blaming the guys.

Paternity tests should be made mandatory at the moment of known conception.

Outstanding insight, Alex! I wonder whether there's a corresponding deficit in men, say in the area of compassion or forgiveness.

Alex, would you recommend marriage (an institution that can destroy men) if most women refuse to take accountability? Also I think it would be very interesting if you did a collab with @Thinking-Ape (Stardusk). I think you two talking about your perspectives would be cool.

The more I learn about women, the more I realize how utterly incompatible I am with them.

Every woman at work always fails to take accountability.

I have met women that have leadership qualities. They were shunned by other women. Greatly respected by men.

This is so true. And it goes beyond relationships, it's just everywhere. The amount of times i heard from either my girlfriends or female colleagues all sort of reasons of why tte responsibility laid on another person... Especially if the issue could be put on the shoulders of other women... It's sickening.

This is why most women support no fault abortion.

I would be interested to hear more of your thoughts on accountability for regular women versus Narcissistic women. My ex is allergic to accountability, but also gaslights after intentionally creating chaos.

Accountability and responsibility have never been evolutionary traits that women have had to develop to survive. It’s really as simple as that.

Yes! This video brings up such an important topic that just goes unnoticed or ignored in a romantic relationship between men and women. Great video Mr Grace! Who is to blame? Modern day society ?

The best explanation I've ever heard how men and women think differently. It's a men know of 10 projects that need to get done but only think of 1 project at a time. When finished with that 1 project they move to the next project. Women on the other hand know of the 10 projects but try to solve all 10 projects at the same time. It's a madness to try and make a brain to solve more then 1 or 2 projects at the same time. Because our brains are not wired to solve more then 1 project at a time. We lose concentration and make mistakes that way.

I 100% agree, BUT my mom is one of the exceptions. Most of my sisters are not like my mom. In fact one of my sisters is probably one of the least accountable people I know. (our family has had a hard time with her) My mom is EXTREMELY logical and emotionless for a woman. She is accountable and gets crap done all by herself. She practically NEVER gets offended by anyone and if said thing is true but mean she recognizes it is the truth and applies that to her life. NONETHELESS, she is brutal. I would break bones as a kid and she would laugh at me and tell me to be a man. She has no fear and doesn't care about others feelings. there are exceptions to this rule men but generally the exception women are less feminine. Personally I wish I could have a woman that acts feminine but thinks and feels like a man.

Great video Alexander your reasoning on why accountability having a higher value with men, reminds me of a great quote by Don Corleone in The Godfather. "Women and Children can make mistakes.....men never......"

The problem is that society doesn’t expect women to be accountable for their actions. Women are forgiven for the most heinous crimes, they are forgiven for infanticide, they are shown great leniency by the courts simply for being a woman, they are treated differently in family law and forgiven for the most outrageous behavior that men would never be allowed to get away with. Is it any wonder that women feel no accountability for their actions when society does not punish them for it like they do with men.

Aba & Preach 🤝 Alexander Grace Video about women and accountability

I wish RU-vid was t hiding you’re channel from me

Accountability can be learned by every woman in the world. It was commonly known as "growing up" wich meant to check reality with your emotions and see if : a) your emotions go wild and you are irrational in what you say and behavior b) your emotions reflect the physical realm, crying because someone died for example or rescueing a fricking cute puppy c) your emotions are a precise outburst against what you see. Feeling injustice when someone is treaded badly for example after that check, you always have the choice to decideto what to give in to. For that to happen, you have to know yourself. You have to be able to "shut up" for a while and go inside of yourself and think on a observant level. (yes, it´s sounds kinda boring, i know) Many woman don´t want to do that, they are addicted to their own emotions they are junkys not able to stop for once because they need the next emotional fix. I, as a Asperger with a hypersensebility to my senses and therefore emotions, had to learn that and it was achievable. Accountability can be tought and should be therefore tought to every kid. If you are the one that is doing and deciding it you are the one that holds accountability. So it´s a skill and also a level of understanding about your place in the world and the link between action, reaction, thoughts, emotions and therefore outcome of/in live. Or, llike many people call it nowadays: growing up. There is no incentive for woman to grow up in these times. There are incentives for sleeping around, having fun, pursuing careers, being single as long as they want, i mean woman wonder why dating in their 40´s and 50´s i so hard but they dont get that man at this stage already have a family and when creating a family is not possible there are only two reason to be with a woman in that stage of your life if you are single: Sex and companionship. Many woman find that sexist but it´s the truth. The regular woman can´t pay thousands of thousands of dollars to get the top notch clinics to give healthy birth with in their 40´s. But since everyone compares themselves to social media people, keep telling themselves that they can do it there is just that one reason they have to figure out and if they do and it does not work there is another more hidden reason and that has to be it while missing the obvious reason: accountability for your actions. I know well collected woman, high in education and had a father in their live (or sometimes even single parent households where the parent tought accountability) the woman don´t like it, you see that it´s a bummer to do so but if do it again and again and again, the emotional misbehavior dispears to a minimum. I mean their nature still makes them unpredictable at times but they are woman and should be feminine in the end. But you can tame yourself to a degree where you can decide if you give in to the whirlwind or just say no. Because growing up simply means "being in control of your inner faculties and how to react to them". And if you don´t do that, you are easy prey to be manipulated by the "right words" to say "in the right time" or by simply making you "feel good about it" even if it´s wrong.

"Time to whip out that conversational hypnosis."

I just read the title "the missing piece in women evolution" and I thought: "Would that be accountability?" And as soon as Alexander starts talking I hear "accountability". 😂🤣 This is why I chose to stay single.

This is exactly why I broke off my engagement. Not taking accountability, even after months, for an obvious breach of our agreed upon dynamic was not acceptable and will never be. I get that when emotions are higher than a woman might not be able to take responsibility for her actions, but after months of clear communication I have no use for that bullshit.

Women Fear accountability/judgement, because their worst fear is isolation. This fear of isolation is also why women cannot tell each other the truth. This is because isolation for women back in the day was dangerous. The environment/culture/software may have changed but the Biology/firmware is still the same. For a man accountability is paramount for our survival. Without accountability you do not learn.

fantastic!

I would love to do an episode on this with you

Are you trying to cancel yourself too?? 🤣 be carful!!!!

My ex wife threw my passport in the bin, she lost it! I then lost it and of course her reply was "Stop yelling at me, I didn't mean to". Not one skerrick of remorse or ownership.

But this is why I like masculine women, the ones who are rational rather than emotional and have accountability. Hard to find but worth it for me.

The Island: Men vs Women. Episode after episode illustrating this again and again and again.

"Siding with who they like the most" yep. Or even, to be more accurate, with whom they feel like is going to win, not even always siding with who they like the most. If they feel like someone is most certainly winning, no matter right or wrong, they go there.

the biggest red flag is always avoid women who blame their exe's for the breakups, they are children in women's bodies and will be a nightmare to date.

Great video and what an extremely interesting theory! I've found that men, generally, respond to accountability extremely favorably. Taking accountability absolves me of shame and guilt. It's like airing out laundry. Accountability, from a woman, opens men up to putting faith in her, respecting her, and feeling he can be vulnerable with her.

Yep lol she begs me to use no condom but she also says if I get her pregnant it's my fault and I gotta take responsibility hahahaha She told me she's been with 4 people before, then I told her to add the people she regretted being with and one night stands and then she sputtered and couldn't answer hahahaha Women's words are whatever she wants to manifest in place of truth. It is rarely the truth itself, because if it is, it's only because her intended manifestation aligns with it. Aka coincidence

You say we cannot make the argument. But i will do it, im figthing my war and do anything i can to win it

There's something I don't understand. If men evolve to have accountability, woudln't women that descend from that man, have that gene too?

They always do terrible stuff yet blame someone else for their own actions

In the hunter gatherer society, woman at least cooked raised the kid and took care of husband, which modern woman greatly suck it, so in some sense hunter gatherer women are more accountable than modern women

Cool stuff. You should design an experiment to falsify your hypothesis. Interesting theories that are not tested is the big complaint about social sciences.

there is no female equivalent for honor ; which makes lying acceptable on a per needs basis; and women ALWAYS need

Of all the women I know I can think of only 2 in thousands that are sufficiently evolved to hold themselves accountable when they are or did something wrong.

Whats even crazier is that I “intuited” this for myself only just recently…. Yes I work in a dangerous field and fellow men rely on my word to keep them safe. Not all aspects are life threatening and occasionally even I make mistakes, but I take complete accountability for myself and those who work under me, I always provide solutions for any mistakes made - and I have never seen a woman occupy the position Im in, not saying there might be a very few capable, but I’ve just never seen one in 34 years.

If the entitlement continues, the protective nature will fade.

When you stop shaming someone they stop learning. You need a certain degree of negative feedback when you do wrong in order to learn and grow. And then we act surprised when women are running around acting like spoiled children.

I worked with a hot chick and she one time was telling me about how her AC broke down, I started asking a bunch of diagnostic questions and it turns out she had already gotten someone to fix the issue at a later date, but she just wanted to tell someone about the issue, she even seemed a bit upset that I asked about doing work for her, she was basically like in need of a "fix" to tell someone her drama for the day.

This happens even at work. The female bosses make dumb decisions and will not take accountability when it backfired, even when she's advised otherwise. And in the corporate world, it is those who DOES NOT take accountability when things go sour that gets promoted. That's why so many people are miserable at work.

Men and women have fundamentally different perspectives, experiences and even definitions of things like love, respect, honor, faith, fidelity, etc and "accountability" is also one of them. They know what it is intellectually and use the word often enough in relation to men but can't see the value of it when applied to their own lives and decisions.

Accountability has also got to do with blame. Whenever something goes wrong in a fefails life, they always blame someone or something else. By doing this they end up repeating the same mistake over and over again and never learn. Hence the reason why they always end up dating bad boys or keep putting decent guys in the friend-zone.

Missing peice in women's evolution: are you talking empathy for average/ugly men in women?

"I'm trying to encompass a bigger holistic asoect of life. I'm trying to be accountable to my emotions and feelings" That right there is one hell of a contradiction. Having a holistic mindset/worldview requires that a) one haves an objective way of thinking that understand the difference between what is true/real and what is an opinion/perception, wich in it's requires objective logical thinking that has nothing to do with one emotions. And b) it means being able to take into consideration other peoples perspective and understanding what is best for everyone as a ehole, not just what one feels is best for themselves.

My wife’s never made a mistake in her entire life. Just ask her.

i think there us some correction needed here_ Whamen havent evolved 'accountability for their sexual behavior'. Instead they have evolved the 'Ability to Pretend accountability for their sexual behavior'.

>women like accountable men I have never heard this big of a lie