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In the end, I saw a person imprisoned by himself and his way of life. A very, very messed up person. We just don't know what a narcissist is until we've experienced it. So blessed to be out if that insane life!

Being a grade A supply is not good, it means more work needs to be done to heal.

No matter how much you mentally, emotionally, and spiritually supported the narcissists, you always end up being the bad one in their minds!! So a relationship with a narcissist, ( if your an empath) is it's a lose, lose situaction with them. No contact is the only way to get on the road to your healing 🙏

I was addicted to the ex , the cravings in the beginning for him were very strong . This was the case even though I ended it, this is why it doesn't matter who left who, the aftermath is the same. I'm an ex heroin addict and I can honestly say that the cravings and "need" for this person was just the same as craving an addictive drug. The only cure is cold turkey or NC /limited contact. Drugs and narc's are detrimental to your physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. I never realized we could be addicted to people until a few months ago but knowledge is power.

OMG! This is exactly what happened. I changed. I stopped giving. He was done with me.

To a Narc everything is a transaction

Interestingly, after 27 years of marriage, the narc was caught having multiple affairs. I wanted a divorce, but he refused...blamed me for his affairs...and agreed to go into marriage counselling, where he swore he had ended the affairs...and wanted to ‘save the marriage’. Six months into counselling, I found out he was still having the affairs and had lied through the entire series of sessions. At that point, the Counsellor educated me about NPD. and told me to run for my life, as this guy had shown no remorse whatsoever and had no intention of stopping his serial screwing around. I do remember telling the Counsellor at the beginning of the sessions, that it felt like all this guy wanted from the relationship, was a ‘replacement mother’. And this was months before I had even HEARD of NPD. So, our instincts ARE correct, and we really do need to listen to them. I wish I had known about NPD 30 years ago. The red flags were all there, right from the get go.

Paula, you did such a great job of explaining this topic, which I believe is often lost on other narcissist channels. The fact is... we know we were grade A supply, and they will likely look forever and NEVER find another ‘us” again. I love your content. Thank you.

I totally agree! I felt like I was a parent/caretaker with no needs at all. I admit it felt good to be needed at first, but as time goes by I asked myself, why is it that I am always the one giving, not receiving any warmth, encouragement, not being supported..etc. A 2yo child throws tantrums at his/her mother to get his/her needs met, a child doesn't care what mommy feels, what mommy needs, whether mommy is tired or what, all a 2yo child thinks and care about is his/her needs being met. It's just really so confusing bec a person who is suffering w npd is this child in an adult body. So twisted. Don't ever expect that your needs will be met by these kind of rels. Radical acceptance. If possible, cut it loose. Thanks so much for this video! Cross pendant so lovely!😊 God Bless you, Paula.

Paula is right. We can recognise our addiction and take steps to recover from it. Narcissists can't. They have an addiction and are stuck with it. For life.

You re-frame the narcissistic experience from an empath viewpoint. This allows me to learn, laugh as well, because it is evident that the abuse catapulted you to “the person you were always meant to be.” Also, the honesty in your dialogue attracts the viewer. You have helped me with my development. Thank you. Congratulations!

Everything you said is exactly how it happened. Thank you Paula for explaining the reason I suddenly had no lover. I did feel parentified. I also held on to the insane hope that he d get tired of going out for good times, and grow up. I thought at age 63 it would be nice to have a husband who wanted to snuggle on the couch and watch a movie with me. To grow old together was my hope and what I worked for. It s crazy how we tell ourselves that tomorrow will be better - for forty years! Glad he s her problem now and she s the mother substitute. I was exhausted but now I m great!

This woman has absolutely help me to see what the hell was going on. She has completely change being with this jerk given me a class on how horrible it has been. I can not thank her enough. God bless her . I was dying physically, mentally spiritually financially I didn’t think I was ever going to get out of this. I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe that I’m so happy.

1000%! im so glad you are here helping us get the understanding of all this chaos and heart ache that these horrible devils have put is through

Yes Paila, when you said what these adult children would say to their parent, that wakes up and no longer puts up with being the narcs doormat, that "it's all your fault, your a bad parent ect ect... that's what it's like for me. I forgive them, just no longer will tolerate being anyones doormat

Dumped my narcissist 3 weeks ago after 5 months. She I tried to heal her when I realized. She was using my empathy as a weapon against me. I lost a few pounds and began to look really fit. It bothered her. She tried to put me down because I had a little tummy. Lost it and seen her for who she was. I became very reflective of her actions. She tried silent treatment and I gave it back. Bought a new lexus and she looked so sad. Ask and I gonna change. The insecurities came out after she felt my inner strength. I gave her a narcissist injury a few times after learning who she was. She's been calling from random numbers I don't answer. She doesn't exist in my eye and never happened. I realize she wanted to argue and I never would. At that point I cared but didn't want her anymore. Now I don't care for her as not one bit. I'm very attractive and very successful. And very happy in life sense she's gone # superempath

They want unconditional love while giving conditional love. You describe it perfectly. He was like a toddler.. MEMEMEMEME! MINE MINE MINE!

You are 100% correct! Any NARC RELATIONSHIP is essentially a Caregiver role! They literally Parentafy every fuel source, and expect total compliance! And the FORGIVENESS FACTOR they expect total FORGIVENESS from their Parents...its sooo SICK!!!!

Thank you for helping to slow down the tornado of emotions I experience since my discard. On several occasions during disagreements I would say to him DON'T MAKE ME BE YOUR MOTHER At that time I knew nothing of narcissistic abuse but I unknowingly lived it. Thank you again for helping others, especially me.

Was in it for 6yrs. On and off. Started seeing it the 3rd yr. His mask started falling off. I called it out. I told him he was a narcissist. Plays manipulative games, I leave him he says I never loved him, I’m just like everyone else that leaves him. Never moved in together, it was sexual. He told me he hated the way he felt about me. He Had feeling’s. I found out he was still dealing with his ex, I ghosted him. No contact, no reply. He has his friends reaching out. No kids were involved. No money, only sex and alone time.He just will not apologize for anything. Just think we should forget and go forward. I have cut off all supplies, he still keep trying.

Yes they always seem to have a way with words, not, I attract them like moths to a flame. Yes, and don't ever get sick around a narcissist. They don't care.

I've been married to one for 28 years. It took me up until a few months ago to start to understand what she was doing to me. And people don't believe it when you tell them . Once I stepped away for 3 months I fully see her for who she is, and I'm sad over it. But I can't allow her to keep poking and biting and stabbing me in the heart. I'm done allowing anyone to treat me this way.

I have now learned, when a new person enters my life. If they come bearing gifts, saying you are such a nice, compassionate person. RUN!!! I mean in work, new friends, lovers etc.... that happens to me over and over and they all abuse me in the end.

You are so generous to give us so much from your heartfelt guidance, Miss Paula. You must be exhausted after making intuitive and thoughtful videos like this, and I’m sure I speak for all of us (except any silent, hoovering narcs amongst us) in thanking you. You are spot-on about the parenting role. My ex was born a preemie to a very narcissistic mother, who unfortunately had taken Valium during her pregnancy, which resulted in my ex, her only son, suffering birth defects. My story is too long for this Comment session, but I see it all so clearly now how I fell so easily into his mommy role, especially after she passed away and I had been there with him through her illness the last few months of her life. She called us the “love birds” while we were briefly engaged during her last months, but was admittedly jealous of me, yet also gave me her approval as the future wife of her most beloved. I walked into all that having no clue about narcissism, but have quite a story to tell now, three years later. Oh, yes - I’m empathetic, parental, and all that great supply to him, his “biggest fan” and supporter, yet he discarded me three months ago, I think because of a boundary he could not get me to change. Now I’m learning and understanding so much, thanks in great part to you. I choose to remain discarded from him, and hope he continues to not ever hoover me; I know I deserve so much better, just because of the genuine love I give. I’m now busy nurturing and developing a whole me! Thank you for listening, and especially thank you for teaching and sharing so much with us. 🌹

I was on my own journey Already I have BPD, PTSD MDD. I took him to help him. Worked for a little while. But now. After over 6 years. I neglected Myself. He robbed me of Everything. I have Scars inside and outside. These videos really help. But. My life is truly falling apart.

This was 100% accurate. It took my 15 years to realize I deserved better. But at least I did realize! Thanks and God bless 😎✌🏿

Time’s been ticking. It looks like I’m dead. But deep down inside. Where they dare not tread. I’ve been conditioning myself. Calming my heart. Piecing together. All off these parts. The final storm’s brewing. The biggest yet. Yet this time I am mighty. A fight I’ll never regret. I will get out. I now know their game. And if you’re on this journey. Remember the same. They’re the fragile ones. Nothing more than a mask. They don’t have a life. They’re not up to the task. You’re power’s within. You’re a lovely one. You’re more than good enough. To walk under this sun. Tread boldly!

wow. So many times I told my narc that i felt like i adopted a rebellious teenager rather than having a partner. this makes so much sense to me

I was aware for years , my ex was a troubled soul . The advise always is no contact ! Seldom we talk about , why ? We often fail to recognize how mentally unstable , deceptive , and destructive these individuals really are ! A petty , spoiled , selfish , insecure child is not capable of running their life , or yours. They are mentally ill , they cannot get well . They are not a viable freind , or spouse , or business partner . Your so correct Paula , if they really possessed this power , and control , they wouldn't invest all their time , and energy attempting to obtain it . Narcissists are abusive , destructive , and can be violent , fear them , fear confronting them ? God doesn't give us the spirit of fear, only understanding , and strong encouragement ! A narcissists feelings are very important to them , alone ! Their power is derived from being in opposition , so is ultimately self destructive. Selflessness is not always codependancy . A responsible person considering , their family , mentally ill spouse, throw in a misdiagnosed mental illness , they can even decieve the professionals . No the narcissist is not the strong one , the capable one , their to be pitied ! Want to help ? Pity them ! Shower them with it !

My narc admitted he was addicted to me and loved me despite not ever wanting to when I disengaged from him. He was a blubbering mess. Such a coward.

You have nailed it again Paula, this has always my through process, and more so since his mother passed, he was a spoiled over indulged child, I took over where his mother left off, many blessing to you and Remy x☘️

I was a Grade A supply. What you said about becoming the adult. I felt that’s the way it had become. He started calling me his friend, that I knew just what to do w sex. That he felt like he could be completely vulnerable because of our deep “friendship.” He started faking orgasms, he started cheating on more openly, he quit telling me he loved me. He said a few weird things to me before he discarded me, he said $20 is nothing when you have two incomes in the house. Please note that we didn’t live together but we had just went on a big trip in which I was paying for half of everything. It was almost like he didn’t win taking away my career. He always kept focusing on my job and that I needed to quit, that it was going to kill me since I’m an ICU nurse working night shift when really it was him that was killing me and the stress of our relationship but I never would tell him that. I started getting ill and more sick because of all the stress. One day I came home or to his home on one after one of our trips and there was a cum stain on his comforter that I knew that we hadn’t put there and he had this thing about massages and have been having affairs with his masseuses over the years and lied about them. He had put a mirror up where he could get a massage and have sex on the massage table in front of the mirror and that’s when I had seen the cum stain. I just pretended it wasn’t there because I was at the end do you know? And it sat there for a month and finally he saw it. And I said to him yeah, I wondered where that came from I seen it for a while and I just couldn’t remember us doing that. He basically discarded me two days later and he just cheated on me two days prior to me telling him that yeah about the cum stain because he had clean the sheets after he had cheated on me two days earlier and he said oh and I clean the comforter there was a cum stain on there and I said I know I saw that along time ago. I always knew he was a narcissist, but I had no idea until the end when the lightbulb started coming on and I started educating myself, that he was having full on relationships the whole time we were together. Not just with one person. Was several and he only worked part time in fact he had become semi retired and his idea of work wasn’t work. He was like a maintenance man for this billionaire That was giving him $10,000 bonuses which I thought was really strange. Now I wonder if all that money was really from his ex-wife who is one of the people he had been cheating on me with for years. Weirdly he had been off and on with her through all of my relationship and throughout the relationship with the woman before me and her cheated on her. And the only way I know this is because some friends of mine that knew him and his ex girlfriend and they had gone to a race he was at where his girlfriend didn’t show up but his ex-wife was there and they said that he took her into his RV and they shut and lock the door and didn’t come out for a full day. Weirdly they had been married for like 15 years and divorced for supposedly seven or eight years but she was still hanging around and I started thinking about it that either she was a narcissist like him or she was a very weak person very weak. The one time I communicated with her, telling her she can have him and she can have him drain her so completely dry like he always has and like he did me and that he never loved me and he never loved her, she blocked me on Facebook. When I realized that he was a crazy malignant narcissist that he cheated on me by having full on relationships for four years we were together and of course I had been discarded with a bunch of mini discards 1 million times but there was the final discard after I found the cum stain. I just couldn’t believe it once I educated myself and realized who he really was this whole time. The lightbulbs just keep coming on with each video I watch. I am just astounded that he had this much time and increase he increased to do everything he did it had to be consuming him and his time just to keep up all of these relationships. And of course he’s been hovering me the last two weekends since we both race bicycles and we see each other there but I still have him blocked so I know he’s confused which is good. I really appreciate your videos because they put a clinical approach on it that most other peoples videos don’t do. Other peoples videos are good but yours are so intricate and so detailed and go down to the psyche of it that it has really taken me to a whole new place with my understanding of him and the last four years. And it is absolutely mind-boggling and I wanna thank you please keep up the videos because you are healing us.

If I got compliments, he couldn't stand it. While physically, he is not really attractive.. he would back handedly put me down... exactly.. you explain it perfectly.. he was after me for 7 years and I kept him away.. then I turned and we fell in love - or rather I did - he faked it - them after about seven months he fell into depression.. hid out in mommy's house. I felt sorry for him, until I didn't any longer and could see exactly what he was doing.. He also became impotent.

That struck many chords with me Paula. We feel the same guilt that any parent would feel if they had to ask their drug addicted child to leave the house. That's why its so confusing because we were not the parent and they were not a child but that was was how the dynamic played out in the end. I thought I was getting into a relationship with an adult and it turned out I was adopting a troubled child. I was subjugated into becoming her parent. I just looked up that word! verb past tense: subjugated; past participle: subjugated bring under domination or control, especially by conquest. "the invaders had soon subjugated most of the population" Similar: conquer vanquish defeat crush quell quash gain mastery over gain ascendancy over gain control of bring under the yoke bring to heel bring someone to their knees overcome overpower hegemonize enslave tyrannize oppress repress subdue colonize suppress tame break humble lick clobber hammer wipe the floor with walk all over Opposite: liberate make someone or something subordinate to. How sad it is that I let that happen to me! I didn't see or understand then but I do now

Hi Paula the ones they love they don't desire the ones they Desire they cannot love

Yes..he beginning to hoover aftr wlkn away wit tht back burner supply..grass wasn't as green..

Thankyou Paula. For helping me see the messed up, child I was living with. It's sad I adored this man, I gave my all to him but he wasn't able to see my love. He took all and rejected all. So sad a life wasted.

Im so sorry, but I will never take that monster back. He now have a new baby, he better get a job, a help that new supply. I am on another level, doing my masters in nursing..family nurse Practitioner...I don't need his distraction and stress. He was very evil to me and my kids, and all we did was give him love. He never worked for 2 years, but just got up and move in with this girl..after knowing her for only 3 mths...he better work hard and stay over there. I have no room for errors

Mine lasted 27 years 2 days. I took care of her in every way especially at the end. Did all cleaning, cooking, laundry. I unwittingly caused a narc injury and she left a month later.

Excellent video! I can very much relate to many things you said. Yes, the narcissist in my life is definitely not who he first appeared to be and I was the main one to handle the cooking, household chores, bills, etc. I figured out about 3 years in what I was dealing with but continued to stay for another 6 years even with having the knowledge and also being cheated on, discarded & hoovered back in. I am definitely an empath but also co dependent. Which, makes me feel like I can't leave even though I know what he's doing is wrong and abusive and this isn't good for me on many levels. I get angry at myself for allowing myself to be treated in this horrible manner & to just continue taking the abuse instead of leaving. I think it's so hard for many of us to wrap our heads around because our minds just can't go where their minds go. It's unfathomable to us and we can't understand how someone could be so cruel and callous and show zero empathy. We can't imagine not having empathy for others while I wonder if they can't imagine having empathy for others as it may be something they have never felt or experienced? If so, what an awful existence that would be to live a life void of empathy and compassion. At least we can learn and grow and heal ourselves. They will forever be broken.

I was when I first got married, then I started seeing who they were, and stood my ground, wasn't going to play into his desires anymore. I put my foot down, and said no more, put up boundaries. Come to find out his friend a male was always coming and staying for a week to two weeks, woke up one night to find them together, like a woman and a man. I started packing my stuff, and none of his friends believed anything I said. 😢

This is my story to a tee. Final discard came when I got a puppy to keep me company as I now work 100% remote. He told everyone that he had been replaced by a puppy!

Yesssssssssssss, THANK YOU, I KNEW I WAS NOT CRAZY! ALL OF THIS IS TRUE. I got my a%& out of there,and decided I was not going to live in that way. Very SICKENING and will never return at all. Thanks again 🌺

What a brilliant wonder you are! You completely understand their robotic minds and heartless souls. May I applaud your insight. Thank you for speaking with such kindness and compassion.

I have no words Miss Paula! I TOTALLY GET THIS!!💐 🌼🌻🌼

Wooooooow, I haven't heard it like this before. Thanks sooo much, this truth is setting me free already, after 9 months of no contact and trying to understand.

I love how you break it down and explain it so well. Great video. Thank you❤️

This opened my eyes a little more- thank you - I can see how much I had healed somewhat but when my abandonment wound was triggered it highlighted what’s left to be healed! It’s been an ongoing cycle- never again will I become a ‘mother’ for a lover - I was so stable and in such a god place prior- it was only an 7 month relationship but it’s amazing how quickly you can be knocked down! My intuition was screaming at me throughout- but the love bombing got me hooked! I kept giving everything the benefit of the doubt! Time to keep working on me and my boundaries values non negotiables and self worth ❤️

This video really really touched me, it's who I am, and I was on my knees, everyday it gets easier, no contact one day at a time. Thank you for doing what you do.

This 100% spot on!!! Keep the knowledge Paula, your helping people more than you know. I like it when your inside, you can concentrate on your words more than when you do your walk and talks. Lol good knowledge!!!!

This video was exactly what u needed to hear yoday, thank you 🙏

This makes so much sense!

Thank you for this thorough description of the life of a narcissistic individual and the empaths who are targeted to parent them.

This is an amazing video that makes this so clear! This is so True!Thank you for helping us heal. Be blessed.

You have a very deep understanding of the Narcissist and reasons why things happen in the relationship. Very insighthtul and practical.

Several of my ex narc's family members told me he was "obsessed" with me. Your explanation of the situation being an addiction on his part is spot on! Thanks for your videos and all you do! ❤

Explained very well! I always enjoy hearing you break down topics.

Thank you so much for your channel. I have watched a lot of videos of yours and others but feel most calmed when watching yours. If I wake up in the middle of the night very uneasy, I turn to your channel for support. It is very hard to explain to others what you are going through when they have not experienced narc abuse or have a trauma bond. They say just get over it. Nor that easy. I read or saw a video that talked about what every person needs. Safety, Security, Love and I think the last one was Validation. They gave an example of emergency responders trauma with regards to Safety and Security, however, when they come home, they have love and validation to hold them and to get through whatever it is they are going through. A person that has gone through narc abuse has lost all 4. It takes them a very long time to recover. Going through narc abuse and recovery is hell. It is an attack on mind, body and spirit. I hugely put emphasis on Spirit. It is spiritual warfare. When a Narcissist just up and leaves and goes silent. No remorse or empathy. It leaves your world turned upside down and Society ignores it except for the people who actually know what it is. Going through a trauma bond is like being addicted to heroine.

Wow this was your best video and completely explains the true relationship between a narc and grade A supply!

Spot on! Thank you very much!

Thankyou paula the dynamic you have clearly explained

I had jobs all over the country today and I listened to lots of your stuff on my long drive , thank you so much ♥

I parented his kids and my own while being the nanny, housekeeper, chauffeur, banker, chef for four years. I quit. 2019. Amen. He's got a new "live in" doing same stuff but not as good as me. Hoovered me several times after I left. They don't change.

Paula, you are wonderful, brilliant narrative on the parental topic, puts a unique perspective on the dynamic and so accurate. bit like telling your child if you don’t behave i’m going to stop your pocket money for a month!

7:00 (to paraphrase, pardon me for being off by 30 seconds with the time stamp) "They're looking for someone to praise them without being accountable!" As a new subscriber, I've watched many of these videos over the years, but this one takes it home because I finally did what I had to do and I feel shitty that I had to go to contact (especially the sense that they need to look like was SUPPOSEDLY my "unstable choice" or whatever, when it was actually loud as day their fucking choice. It's never pretty when they pull off the D-Day making you look like the bad guy for it. But at least you could go no contact at that point and that's where I'm at this moment. This video is such a support in switching from low contact to no contact, that I cannot thank you and other video producers ENOUGH for this validation of regaining our souls. TLDR: when your gut tells you that low contact is not good enough, no contact is the only option and you will know it like I did today when it happens to you. Recovery is not an event, but a process. Don't waste as much time as I used to!

You're the greatest speaker you make so much sense what I like about you is you don't talk about what you're going to talk about you just get to the point other videos they go on and on and on and they talk about what they're going to talk about but they never talk about it they just talk about what they're getting ready to talk about and you don't do that you get right to the nitty gritty to the point and very very good I can't take my ears off the video it's just very good

Exactly! Well explained ! So true ! Every word you said my x would say exactly word for word!

REPOST: Said the narcissist to her/himself: "Hmm...she is far too happy. She has far too many friends...She has far too many family members...She smiles too much...She laughs too much...She has far too many social events...She has far too many coworkers...She has far too many acquaintances...She has far too much money...She has far too many options...She has far too many choices...She is far too logical...She is far too healthy...She is far too rational...No, that won't work...I must find a way to control her from the inside out...so that I may destroy her ability to think and feel for herself. I cannot win against her and all of the people she knows..NO, I must methodically seek to divide her from others. I am just one person... My plan will not work without poisoning her mind. There are way too many of her and those like her. Step One, I will make her feel a part of ME and my world. I will compliment her and I will only tell her what she wants to hear. Every woe I will validate, every success I will exaggerate, and soon, she will be a part of MY 'party.' It will be she and I, us and them... Step Two, I will divide and conquer, and cause her to distrust those she trusts. I will rely on gaslighting to cause her to doubt her own mind and soon, she will be begging me to protect her from the ones I have conditioned her to fear. I will lie, distort reality, and profess myself her protector, although all enemies are delusions I create for my own power-hungry appetite. Step Three, I will take her on a roller coaster ride of fear and relief, and then take her on the ride again and again. Trauma bonding with her will destroy her ability to reason and to ever possibly see me as the true enemy. Surely this will dizzy her mind and destroy her self-confidence. In no time, she will leave her job, cut contact with family and friends, and soon she will rely on me for EVERYTHING. Step Four, she lives in fear of all that I say and is submissive to all of my demands. It will not matter that my thinking is delusional, nonsensical, and is not based on logic or rationale...NO...I have turned her into a dis-eased being, paralyzed by fear, and who is unable to think beyond the mind I have so masterfully scattered. Game over...I win...I am the RULER of this kingdom and I have won." Narcissism exists in the kitchen and it also exists in the boardroom as well as in society at large. Awaken Dear One...and know fear arrests you and love will set you free... By all means, LET GO, BUT never fail to deprogram and then reprogram your mind, so that one day, you are free from covert as well as overt tyranny, both on the personal and global level.

lol Paula you are so good showing and telling us exactly how it is with a narcissist

Extremely well explained! Just perfect 👌🏻

Thank you Paula! This was exquisitely explained. I so appreciate the way that you educate us on this horrible illness-NPD

This video is full of such valuable info. I can relate to the “relationship” turning parental in nature. Explains a lot to me now…I could never make sense of those behaviors including shying away from sex, and the deepening dependency on me. Thank you for shedding the light on a very complicated disorder.

This was an amazing video Paula! You just told me my story. Yes, I figured out early on there was a problem with my ex-husband I just didn't have a name for it. I also came to know it had a spiritual and demonic element. I have educated myself enough to know I would not go back. I chose to take great pleasure in knowing he is squirming trying to find new supply and coming up with less than adequate people while I continue to fill my pocket with knowledge about Narcissistic behavior. Thank You for all you do Paula!

Thank you Paula another informative & re affirming video. When the narc recently hovered me he sent a picture...I was shocked & amazed at how terrible he looked His black eyes were empty. He looked dazed,lost & totally blank. I read it that he was low on supply & that's why he came back. No way! I am recovering & thriving Thank you for your great insight

Thank you for your channel. This video did it for me. It made me further understand this dynamic. I saved this video so I can go back and watch it when I feel I want to contact her.

Spot on … thank you 😊

You have so much knowledge on the subject. And so so precise and accurate! And your analysis is very helpful and thought provoking. ❤But it is worrying because you wouldn't want them to be so destructive and destroy their lives...😢

Thank you very much for confirming my experience and intuition. In the end, I saw how much addiction there we're and how much power I had - I always thought it was the other way around. I went in no contact due to the insane structure of the friendship (I had the Impression that this toxicity slowly but surely also invaded my physical, emotional and mental body.) Blessings and thank you again 💖🍀🙏🌈

Wow you’re the ONLY one who said it. Thank you to you for so many lightbulb moments. She used to say over and over “you’re like my family”. You’re like my mum, or you’re like my daughter or my sister. Mainly she had me in a caring role - looking after her needs in every way including financial. I was a parent and the sexual part diminished very quickly. Yes it hurt me to my core that she had more interest in people externally because at first I thought it was the fact I was a woman and we were in a lesbian relationship. But something always ate at me, if I was allowed to be ‘free’ ie if she wasn’t so dependent on me in every single way, me and her would have had a better romantic relationship.

Awesome insight!

Thanks so much for this video, this particular video and the Narcissist living with his mother have probably been the 2 stand outs for me and for finally convincing me there is nothing wrong with me. Watching this made me feel better Paula, like better than I've felt in a long time, so thank you so much, for some reason it just hit home for me, it framed what I have been dealing with. I have been watching videos for a year now, maybe even a bit longer, I have cried a lot of tears, I have second guessed myself, I have seen a therapist for 2 years every fortnight now, I have bored my friends and family, I have not been focused on my business that I built 7 years ago from scratch, I have not been as focused on anything, I have lost my creativity and imagination somewhere along the rickety road and finally this video and the Narcissist living with his mother have made me feel a huge sense of relief and also compassion for myself. It's funny, I am empathic but not to myself. And I was Grade A supply until I said no. I think your understanding of the narcissist really shines in this video, the part where you talk about being an unconditional parent and meeting all there needs resonates, him doing chores in the beginning and then eventually me running around doing everything resonates, I decreased my supply just as you spoke about and he became more emotionally abusive, I tried to hold him to account and he turned it around and made me look as if I was unbalanced, and all while moving back to Mummy's who rolled out the red carpet because her Jonny was back!!! I did do a lot for him, and I did feel that something was not quite right with him many times, I knew, but this video has confirmed everything, so whatever magic you bought to this, please break it down, because there are many videos out there, this one actually made my heart and my head meet in the middle! And the drug you were looking for is Methadone! It made so much sense, why now so many people in his life who I saw as not integral he treated in front of me better than he treated me, in fact in the last 6 months it had gotten progressively worse, I was in devaluation mode and he was getting ready to discard me if I didn't start "working" properly!! It's funny the last time I saw him, I pointed out that living with his Mummy was not cool, and he threw a tantrum just like you said, the way it looks is beginning to wear thin, he has been back with Mummy for about 4 years now and it now looks just plain creepy, he's 57!!! Sorry to go on, but I'm finally making progress in my journey, finally, thanks to you, Sam Vaknin.

This is probably one of the best analysis I have ever gone through. Thank you Ma'am for such a wonderful insight. I can correlate each and every bit from your insight .

You are so good Paula you express it spot on❤love it!

100% this was such a good video very well exspained as to how they look at us..this explains why they always need an want someone to take care of them...ty so much 💜💜

Goodness gracious this was an absolutely awful experience Paula oh boy I remember these days like yesterday however it's so freeing being away from those people their extremely draining thanks for sharing I appreciate you 🤗

Amazing video, great help for an empath / codependent person that was or is still involved in a narcissistic relationship.

U have done some excellent research.

Accurate 100% I was very aware and caught on, I held on because they indicated they wanted to change. The more I put up with the worse the disrespect got.

WOW I must say you really blow my mind with this one I didn't even see this coming everything you said I went through OMG WOW

Great Information! Thank You

Put it on repeat and play it over and over.

Excellent video once again right on target! I so look forward to listening to you! You have help me so much in my recovery!❤✝️☮️

Thank you I was in A& E alot in the end they red flaged me and i could not see it . Then I got it after 40 years it has been hard I did not no about a narc but thank God I do now amen

Great accurate advice!!!!

Exactly right. Thank you

Thank you for clarifying so many things I could not understand about my narcissist husband. I remember him saying that he loves when I tell him what to do but it never clicked until now. He was wanting a parent not a wife.

Brilliant. I feel it exactly the same. Thank you.

Maam.Thank you for what you do.Almost everything you have mentioned,is how my life was with her.I am glad to know it wasnt all me.I thought for a long time that I could do nothing right.

This is exactly 💯 what happened in my marriage! My soon ex husband was putting me in the mother role, this makes sense to why I was always the stable one trying to keep him out of mischief . Ugh! He wore me out in every way. He brutally discarded me 2 months ago for his coworker. 12 years married, ugh! What a toxic mess

OMG. Perfectly stated.