Right person at the wrong time. Can you find the right person at the wrong time? Coach Craig and Margaret discuss. Get Craig's help personally: www.askcraig.net/take-action/ Get Margaret's help: www.askcraig.net/margaret-1/
women and men really need some relationship training to find and be better partners. choosing the wrong people and ending relationships quickly due to dumb meaningless shit seems to be the trend nowadays.
I swear coach all your videos are great but for some reason your Friday videos are always the best (IMHO) sends us inn the weekend strong and ready ! :)
Since my last post below, 4 months ago, I ran into my ex in a bar w/her female friends. We communicated & started hooking up a week or two later. That lasted 3 weeks & then she started mediation. She warned me that she may panic or freak out. She certainly did. She started becoming distant & pushing me away - AGAIN! Then she broke up w/me for the hat trick (3rd) time! And told me she wished me happiness & that I find someone that deserves me. She says she didn’t feel the same way about me anymore. Unreal! I guess I understand why after watching the Jedi masters vids! Coach Craig you are the 🐐!!!!!!!! Thank you!
I'm the same boat. The first 12 months were incredible. Her and her husband agreed to a separation. He still lived in the basement, but once he moved out a year later and she started having to share custody of her two girls (14 & 11), things really took a turn. She became distant, depressed, experienced major separation anxiety and she pushed me away. I could just see the pain she was feeling. We broke up in Jan '19, got back together in March '19, but she's run away again here in May '19. She has an avoidant attachment style. It really hurts!
Just went through this in late December and in early-mid February she claimed she wasn't ready for a relationship, needed to be alone time, and said "BUT" and it was probably due to all the issues going on in ur personal life (plus she recently came out of a really bad relationship). Plus I was the first guy that actually treated her like a "real" person. Yet the week I was trying to give her alone time. She spent it w/ this guy that was giving her rides back and forth to work (bcuz her car got stolen) and spent the entire shift there. At the end of that week I chose to block her by taking the advice of my friends because they said she was playing games & didn't know what she wanted. And now I found out she is already in another relationship & her personal is doing better... I've came to the conclusion I was the Right Person at the Wrong Time because we had 90% of stuff in common. She even told me that it seemed she knew me for her whole life & we're basically the same person. I hate the fact that I still want to be w/ her due to after what she did to me but at the same time the amazing time I had w/ her makes me think I won't find someone like that again due to how how compatible we were.
@@paulstanley88 the rest of 2018 got worse my Epilepsy got worse in June then got fired in late July bcuz I am disabled. But aside from that using No Contact which worked bcuz she ended up chasing me. Yet we still never got back together. However she ended up getting married and had a 4th kid 2 months later probably just to stop dating. She was very Insecure. In brief, I've been over it I'm glad I'm not with her. And I've been Single since. But man I learned a lot from this relationship.
One of my ex was absolutely amazing but I blew it, because of my work at that time... and I had not done any work on myself in terms of anxiety and insecurity..... I still could not believe that she was with me. She was that amazing. I saw her on dating app recently but couldn't get a match as Coach Craig kept saying on his video. If only I knew this, if only I met her now, if only I had a second chance,,,,, I hope everyone won't make the mistake I made...
I definitely think COVID and the pandemic has ruined the potential for a lot of relationships as It has caused people to become more stressed and easily irritable due to lack of being able to mix with others as there have been a lot of breakups it seems in this pandemic due to the working from home and couples maybe feeling like they are on top of one another. I Wish people could consider this and maybe wait to see if their partner still exhibits the same behaviour outside of the pandemic situation since we are so close to coming back to a fairly normal lifestyle
Covid tested relationships, marriages, friendships. Covid forced people to re-think what and how they really want to live their lives. It was a Catalyst for change. Unfortunately, that meant divorces as well
My therapist told me my ex n I met to early..but we are quit different.. But I think that's a gift.. My ex also got a lot of problems n told tht he pushes the gud things away
This is scary.. this story is so so close to my ex. My ex's dad has always been distant from the family, especially him. His dad used to beat him and did it again during the time we dated. I was there for him but I could see how it affected him. His dad moved out to not be in the same house as him. So he stayed with his mom and so he if course became more attached to his mom, espscially because his mom suddenly fell ill. When his dad did this to him he became very clingy and needed me all the time, we basiaclly lived together for about 2 weeks. Short after, when he moved back in with his mom he suddenly went very, very cold. When i wanted to talk and asked to meet up, because i wanted to talk about what was going on he would say i am very obsessed of him and begging him but when I gave him space he would blow up my phone and say he is sorry and that he wanted to talk. He came over, we talked and it got very emotional. He cried a lot, and I cried as well. After that day he broke up with me saying he doesn't know if he loves me enough, he probably doesn't. He came back after 12 days saying he doesn't know what he feels for me but all he knows is that he misses me and wants to see me. We met, hooked up and the day after he was extremely cruel and told me he never liked me, he was only curious. It's been 2 months and a half now, he hasn't reached out. He constantly changes he profile picture which he never used to do often. I want to believe that this has nothing to do with me but him. He isn't capable of having a relationship now. But i still wonder, did he ever like me and will there be a day when he will reach out again? Side note, we only dated for 3 months but it was intense 3 months. I truly fell in love with him.
Hi coach! My ex keeps popping up at my gym every week(24 hr ft) to play basketball, when he works at a much nicer gym (Equinox). While we were dating he rarely came to my gym but all of a sudden he’s popping up every week, sometimes even twice a week. We broke up nearly 5 months ago. Only officially dated for 6 months. Have known each other for 3 years and have always been friends throughout. I feel like we both may still have that strong emotional connection that we always had, I feel it when we talk briefly at the gym. He has a chronic illness and I do care for him deeply but refuse to reach out because he tried to make me jealous via social media recently. He’s too stubborn to do anything other than pop up where he knows I’ll be. He knows my schedule and what time I’m usually there. I cant tell if I’m reading too much into this/ or is this just all in my head? Would love your input on what to do/what this means. Best, Megan
Hey Craig. I was hoping you could make a video( or at least respond to this question) on living with your ex and trying to get them back with limited contact because you really have no other options financially. I am in this exact situation and she now is in a rebound and brings him over allot. Is my situation hopeless? Any tips?
My ex was my first real relationship and I didn't give her the fairy tale relationship she wanted. I should have brought her more flowers, called her beautiful on her bad days, been her rock, and have better communication during our arguments. Instead I was a fool to an incredible and gorgeous women and now she's moved on and doesn't even message me after being together for 1.5 years!!😢
It happens. We learn from it. I did a similar thing after one year 9 months, I had stopped going out of my way to bring random flowers, to say good mornings in a sweet way, to reassure her she is beautiful. I was stubborn and I let her walk away after 2 years 3 months of being together. Only after that did I really realize what I let happen to us. I've done so much since then to be a better me, and she has noticed. Almost 7 months later and we still have feelings for eachother, but right now seems to be the wrong time, as she is going to school full time and I am working and doing school. The feelings are still repairing, but we do keep reaching out. I hope to get her back, and to give her all the best I am capable of when the time is right.
Im sorry to hear that, we all have to remember the importance of our singnificant other. Ik how hard it is to realize what's happening or even if they are the right one, but when you do realize you literally have to love, respect, and honor them like you would yourself, as they should for you as well. When I met my love ik something was up, at first I couldn't call it love, but something came over me that was different from any other person that i have ever met. I also knew I was at the right place, at the right time with him. Time went on and I realized I truly loved him as he did me, we both made a lot of mistakes along the way because we were in a haze and had not yet excepted it. After meeting him I never thought about another man but I did try to fight my intense feelings. I thought for the first time in my life, I was obsessed and lossing my mind. Anyways, he tells me I'm the right one at the wrong time, at first it hurt me but now ik he was just trying to save me from his self and his patterns, but now we both know love is real. Lots of ppl think they know what love is, but truth is I don't believe many ppl get lucky enough to find it. If she loves you then she can't live without you, dead or alive...
Is it possible that even after a long eight year relationship, that events and circumstances can come up that throws the timing off? We had had some other issues for a while, but in the last year her daughter developed anorexia and it seems like that was the final straw. Since I hadn’t yet started getting help for my depression and anger issues, maybe it all became too much.
He said he is letting me go because I deserve better. He’s a fear avoidant I am an anxious. His language is touch mine is quality time. He refused to give me quality time even once a week. Do I even want him back? Not the way we were.
If someone truely loves you they will make that time for you. I would move on because until he works on himself nothing will change. Speaking from experience of taking one back too many times an being very hurt in the end. When he left me an didn't come back
Proximity plays a huge role. But in my town, proximity means nothing.This place is too dynamic - people work far or hang out far and new people always coming into your life. Depends where you live, go to school, or where you work.
My girlfriend broke up with me 3.5 weeks ago. We dated for exactly 1 year and all was perfect and then She said she wasn't feeling the future with me she thought we once had. And that I was the nicest guy she had ever dated and treated her and her kids like gold. She said she needed space and time to thing about things, etc. We have been in contact, some good, some bad. She is the one that broke up with me. We had a good morning text this morning. I initiated it and she replied, thank you, you too. We have not been friends on Facebook since the breakup, I unfriended her. Anyway, somehow, she saw a post that I posted this morning to a female friend of mine that I started running and exercising with. She immediately sent me a text, I am guessing out of jealousy or anger, saying "Don't Ever Contact me again!!!" We aren't dating anymore because it was her choice 3.5 weeks ago. Now she does this and even goes ghost and blocks me on Facebook. What should I do now?? Total No contact for sure, but should I try to contact her way down the road and see if she has cooled off, etc. if she hasn't contacted me by then??
hdstewart30 I'm just trying think about it as if I was in her shoes. So this is my opinion as to what she may be thinking. And I've also been in the kind of position like she's in, before. So I think I can relate to how she's feeling. Here's my story. An ex of mine went to a formal event with another woman not even 2 weeks after he broke up with me. Then they got into an *official relationship with her a couple months later. We've been broken up for 5 months, now. And funnily enough they already broke up after 1.5 months being *officially together. When I found out that they first started seeing each other at the 2 week mark, I was absolutely DONE with him. I couldn't believe how shallow he became. Already moving on to another woman that quickly. I was furious! One of my guy friends (my bff's fiancé) worked with my ex and talked with him often. And despite everything he told me from his observations in their conversations (he wanted to help us get back together). About how my ex is only using her to get over me, as a rebound. How unattractive she looked compared to me (I never got to see her). How she was only using him for sex and that she really didn't care where she got it from (so she probably cheated on him at some point). How he complains about her always is on his back asking about what he's doing, all the time. How they only talked about their relationship on social media when asked. How it never looked like they were in a relationship at all, hardly any evidence. How my ex looks so sad and lonely whenever I'm mentioned in their talks. And how my ex has let himself go since the breakup in gaining weight and having scraggly facial hair and not keeping his hair cut. Basically everything that was the exact opposite of our relationship. Tagging each other in social media all the time, Almost making the 1 yr. mark, never pestering him and giving him space, etc., and just all around having a good relationship. Despite my friend telling me all that, and telling me that I needed to talk to him if I wanted him back. I never did. Because to me it isn't natural to move on to another person so quickly. And on top of all that my ex never reached out to me, in all this time, post breakup. So why should I think that he still cares and maybe wants me back? The only thing he does with me nowadays is "storystalk" my Snapchat and Instagram. Which isn't enough to tell me that he wants me back, as he never outrightsays anything to me or 'likes' my posts. I'll save myself the humiliation and let him be the one who reaches out. Besides, I want/need to hear what was going on with that woman straight from the horse's mouth. Plus this is my personal rule: If you're the dumper, you need to be the one who reaches out first if you want the other person back. If you're the dumpee you need to try your best to move on. If the dumper comes around, be cautious and take it slow if you want them back, too. You've been broken up for less than a month (using 4 weeks = 1 month since I don't have a date), and you're starting to hang out with another woman, right? Even if your intentions are completely and purely to only be friends and/or workout partners with that lady. Your ex probably feels like you have already moved on, you got a new flame, and maybe thinks that you never cared for her at all, since you moved on so quickly. And maybe (this is only if she's had doubts about your faithfulness in your relationship), she also thinks that you've been talking to this other woman prior to the breakup. I highly doubt that she feels that last part, based on your situation, but it can still be a possibility. Bottomline is, she's still in the healing phase, and seeing you with another woman hurt her badly. I would send a one-time text briefly explaining what's going on, apologize, tell her you respect her wishes, then leave her alone, as she wants. She told you not to contact her ever again. After that last text you send, let her be the one who reaches out. I also wouldn't post anymore about you and your workout buddy. As she may think you're throwing it in her face. Her getting jealous over your friend won't help you, I can say that much, for sure. Good luck! ❤
Was with him for 9 months. It was a LDR. We're both in our early 20s. he's having a hard time working and settling things up. Even though we truly loved each other, our relationship was a complete mess. He barely gave me any time and attention and as a results we fought everytime. Broke up several times during our 9 month relationship and each time either i convinced him or he came back himself missing me. I always tried to understand but his ignorance was too much for me to handle but still i just wasn't ready to let him go. He broke up a week ago and said this is his final decision and he just wants to end things. He blocked me everywhere so that it'd be easy for him to move on. I always thought he was the perfect guy for me and i blame myself for putting pressure on him but i guess this is best for both of us. I am finally trying to accept he's gone for good and trying to move on.
Myself and my ex broke up after 3 years, we never argued when we were together but we have since we broke up. I found that quote after we broke up and sent it to her and she said that’s exactly it. Now though she’s blocked me on everything 1. Because people told her I said things about her that I didn’t say 2. Because I didn’t give her enough space after we broke up
My ex claimed that I didn't trust her that what killed ours and that she didn't need space even though 1. She wanted to be "alone" and basically wanted to put the relationship on hold & she kept being around this guy behind my back that I didn't even really know. (I probably talked to him for 10 mins therefore he wasn't a mutual friend I didn't want to be his friend). After a month of No Contact I tried building our relationship (starting at friendship) but she somehow got into another relationship already and it was like "damn thats f**ked up I'm going on Radio Silence." So if she says anything to me I'll talk back but till then she is blind to me and I'll be silent to her. And Ryan if you want to get back w/ her I hope everything goes good for you.
I need your advice, my ex and I were so in-love for 4 years and 3 months LDR.. I walked away because he is doing a lot of immoral things in the relationship, it turns out toxic and makes us both depressed.. He accepted the break up and told me that he wants to change and said also that he doesn't deserve me as of the moment because he is making bad decisions in life that caused me pain... He said it's all about the commitment, he is not ready for marriage and he doesn't want me to wait for nothing... FYI : He is 7 years younger than me. I am a single mother. He stopped using social media when we broke up.. It's been 7 months now, no social media activity at all... no nothing... He loves me, I love him so much.. It's like, right love at the wrong time... I want to ask how he is doing via e-mail but Idk if that is a good idea. I need some words of wisdom please... Thank you...
So very true. 7 months together, he was very stressed, so was I. Our communication was poor. He asked for a break and I didn't handle that well... despite everything, we had something amazing but it was just horrible timing. He tried to friendzone me and it was just too painful. I told him I couldn't be in touch with him - he was contacting me nearly every day. I'm hoping he misses me and perhaps later down the line we could attempt things again with clearer heads and a few rules in place ... but in the meantime, I'm getting on with life.
Ah in a situation where I was in an amazing relationship for 7 months and my bf told me he was overwhelmed with his new job,recovering from an injury and caring for his son. He told me I'm amazing and he is sad to let it go and it was hard on him but, felt it wasn't fair to me if he didn't have enough time for a relationship and didnt want me to feel like I was on the back burner while he was balancing so much. I respected it bit was devastated. He wants to remain friends and said to not hesitate to contact him and we will still hangout that he doesnt want to be out of my life. I dont know what to do I have never been in this situation before. Is there any hope down the line? I haven't contacted in about a month giving him space and letting him reach out to me. I want to text him but not sure if I should even though we both want to remain friends. I've never fell for someone the way I did for him. I know he over thinks and ai do I wnich doesnt help lol
Hey Coach Craig, quick question. If a girl breaks up with you for being too complacent in the relationship (i.e. Not giving of your time, attention or doing the things she wants to do), do you still recommend no contact? In that case, the woman is already thinking he doesn't care. Would no contact just serve to solidify that belief? Thank you!
Leaving her alone shows that you DO care. She needs time and space to process her feelings. You need to respect that. I'm dealing with a similar situation. It's hard and it sucks, but there is nothing else you can do until she reaches out.
I would.maybe verbalize to her that you understand her thoughts and take responsibility for what is accurate about what she is saying, apologize fornthe complacency, and then let her know you love her and want to work on getting more involved in the relationship with her. See what she says
But keep in mind, its probably not going to go well. My dealings with woman up to this point have shown me that once you have become conplacent i.e made a mistake, the woman will NOT let you off the hook easily just by expressing regret and a willingness to work harder. This is part of why me ex left me and im not expecti ng to ever hear from her again despite trying my best to learn about my behavior and relationships.in general.
I'm in this position right now. My ex is starting university, and her schedule will consume her time. I'm already working full time in investments. She broke it off and walked away. I miss her everyday, but I can understand her conflict. I just wish she would give us a chance.
Why is it that 3 years seems to be the standard length if the relationships here? That's how long my ex and I were together for. What is it about the three year mark that makes women want to run?
Pattyboybx I heard the same thing too. I kind of think it's an excuse. She's demonstrating that she isn't a good investment. Would marriage really stop her from leaving? Maybe, maybe not. But at least now she doesn't get to take half of your stuff.
my ex said he thinks we got together at the wrong time bc of college could this be the same thing right person wrong time:( and is my chance completely gone
@@LunaLiZardKxngVic At least mine goes to a different school, but in your case I don't see why you guys wouldnt be able to work things out. Maybe he wants to focus solely on school or whatever the case may be. Like Coach Craig says, give them space and work on yourself. Focus on school and keep watching his videos. They're my go to when my anxiety spikes. Become a better version of yourself, you'll either attract you ex back or someone even better. We can get through this. Trust the process.
TangySapling164 yeah i don’t understand it either bc he is confusing we’ve gone on dates and he’ll like try to get me stuff but won’t commit then he talks to me everyday it doesn’t make sense but i’m not playing any games anymore i’m just hoping something good happens soon for me and thanks i hope everything works out between y’all or you receive someone better
victoria Yeah that would be frustrating. I would tell him what you want and if he can’t commit, then it’s best to just walk away. There’s no point wasting you time and playing games. You can’t let yourself be an option. And thanks, I appreciate it. Unfortunately I haven’t talked to mine in over a week and I doubt I’ll ever hear from her again. She seems to have moved on. It’s okay tho, life goes on. Can’t make people stay in your life. They have to choose to be in it. Hope he comes to his senses or you find someone better. Good luck!
Wait...hol up...why is the whole fact about him having adhd a big deal? Enough to bring up outside his addiction. Seemed like a little "look-down-on"y tone of voice...
Just clicked on this cuz i disagree with the whole concept, if its wrong timing its wrong. Doesnt mean its right. Cuz if there is a time where it is right, then that person is right for you then and there, time leaves too much room for growth making a person not the same person as they are when youre "compatable" with.
