The Rise of Lonely, Single Men 

I want to have it worse 🗿

@@RammusOK I don't want peace I want problems always

the issue with recognizing a problem exists is that someone has to fix it and society (government, oligarchs, etc) dont want to do anything that will cost them money.

Its all subjective yes, and not all problems have the same solutions and so on, we ALL have different set of circumstances that are unique so that is why its hard.

@@Lil.Lon3Ly Yeah and ppl tend to forget that and just project their own issues on other people. E.g. guys that think a girl with an army of thirsty men that would like to hook up with her cant feel lonely.

Right? It’s especially noticeable having just come from the Female Loneliness video last night, where he got right into the post the second the video began… That really does say it all

It's prolly because other guys and a few women who think that men being depressed and lonely=incels and he doesn't wanna cause trouble with that crowd of people. It's sad that he even has to do that but it is what it is.

@@Korsav0 he doesn't _have to_ do that lol, he's just pandering because it's good for business.

For some reason, people especially on the internet are very hostile to anyone bringing up issues that men face, you won't even get to finish your argument before 20 people jumping in to call you an incel....

@@handsomebear. L take

Often it seems that statements like "men are abusers" and "men are abused" are all to often treated as separate, mutually exclusive truth claims, rather than being both true as they describe two (mostly) different sub-populations of the larger, general category of "men"

@@ethanhammond6259 Indeed, basically generalising all males into one category. I mean that's... half the population right there. Might not be justified. lol

That's because usually (in my experiences), talking about my problems typically has the opposite gender telling me "things arent all about you" instead of accepting that more than one person can have problems.

And yet women constantly tell men that men have it easier and that message gets blasted everywhere from tik tok to Insta to Twitter and gets liked and upvoted. Like sure I get what you mean but there is a gigantic empathy gap when it comes to talking about mens issues than womens

Thing is, male self-deletion rates are higher than females for a reason. But what is that reason…? If we really are equal in our struggles than that number should be less skewed. But it isn’t…

To quote or at least paraphrase "the worst thing is not being alone. It is being surrounded by people who make you feel alone."

Yep I feel this 100%. I am single because I'm lonely, singleness alone is alright but not even having many friends means no chances to interact with others, which means I'm less likely to find somebody to date. And online dating is not an answer because people can and do vet your profile to see if you're sociable; men who have a lot of selfies or otherwise no pictures with other people appear lonely, and it's mostly unattractive to the opposite sex.

@oshawott I sympathize sincerely. I grew up in an abusive family where I was estranged from my parents, had low self esteem so I didnt really put myself out there and now I am 29 feeling alone and worried whether or not I have enough time to turn things around. As I have done some introspection though I noticed a trend that I had more opportunities and more positive treatment from people than I noticed in the moment. When I was in high school a girl handed me a valentine and ran away, and I had several close friendships with girls in college that I could have converted into something more had I been in a better spot emotionally. I couldnt recognize people liked me because I didnt like myself, and to some extent that is still true. I don't know your life, you may have a physical deformity or some sort of developmental issue that is a structural hurdle for you to overcome. I would just consider the possibility that you need to take a leap of faith. For 3 months be as positive and bubbly/upbeat as you can be, make a sincere effort to cold approach maybe 5 (insert gender youre attracted to) every weekend or join a dating service and focus on being as fun a person to spend time with as possible/get out of your head and focus on the person youre with during an interaction. Maybe everyone rejects you, but during that 3 months you built up a hell of a lot of experience interacting with people and you can take that with you for the rest of your life with significant benefits. Good luck my friend, there is hope as much as its hard to see/believe.

I know what you mean. Sometimes I feel like no one listens to me. In the workplace, I feel like people don't listen to my opinions and just muscle their ideas or simple just 'okay' me and continue talking down to me. In family, my opinions are just not taken seriously or just downplayed or gaslit. In addition to being talked down.

@@Jazzmaster1992 To play devil's advocate... all of my pictures in dating apps are of me alone and I've been successful in getting matches. Also I've seen multiple women online who express that they immediately dislike pictures of men with other women no matter if it's their sister, their friends or whatever. And pictures with multiple people are disliked as well because it's annoying to identify who the owner of the profile is

So true I'm honestly surprised why this comment is not sinking in likes and responses

Easily the best comment I am also suprised it doesn't have more likes

True. Women chasing the 1% of male population while rendering other 99% males as "unhealthy". But not all women are gold diggers, but there is someone was born just for you. In the end, need to touch grass.

The thing is, high standards aren't really a problem we need to fix, it is a problem that fixes itself. If a person desires a relationship but their standards are too high, and nobody meets them. Then they will have to eventually lower their standards in order to attain what they wanted (a relationship). If they don't lower their standards they either are not self-aware enough to see they are being unrealistic (which means they aren't somebody anyone should want to date) or it means that they don't really want a relationship all that much. The problem is, I think, that many women don't see the cost vs benefit of dating men, worth it. So they don't. I think this is especially highlighted by our continuate presence online, where misogyny and the Andrew Tate type are everywhere. Additionally, since women tend to have lower sexual drives, it might follow that they are more okay not experiencing s3x. Specially because s3x with straight men, famously tends to suck for women.

@@cheyemily6066 I don't agree that prohibitively high standards fix themselves at all. You can lower your standards because you think they were wrong, or you can ignore your standards in order to get what you want. If you ignore them, you very easily end up in unhappy relationships or relationships with unhealthy power dynamics. And having someone meet nobody for no other reason than their standards are unrealistic is bad on its own. I think that the cost benefit of dating for either sex is not worth it. People have a lot of academic debt and online dating is not exactly good for the sanity of most people. I agree that there is probably a higher desire for physical intimacy in men, but it's not like you need a long term relationship for that. I think it might have more to do with the utter lack of emotional support in the lives of most men. I think that men end up leaning on romantic relationships a lot more for things like that than women do.

Some people are very sensitive about gender that they’ll foam at the mouth off the bat

Or maybe, just maybe, as Dr. K said himself in the video, lonely men and their communities often turn to misoginy when expressing their frustations with relationships and the lack of relationships. Knowing that and also knowing his community is composed mainly of men, he tried his hardest to give a push in the opposite direction. If you scan the comments of this video and the comments on the video on women loneliness you might have an insight on this behaviour. It's fascinating, really.

@@marinareis3606 yeah but he didn’t had to do all that for when he talks about women’s issues...

@@marinareis3606 We never condemn women for turning to misandry to express their dating frustration

@@von6413 I'd argue this is one of the things that depends on the issue. Dr. K doesn't do ten minutes long disclaimers everytime he discusses issues related to men, just so women are not triggered. That would make no sense, and as you pointed out he talked about women loneliness without a disclaimer. What makes this video different? First, it touches on male loneliness and he said so himself: men often turn to misogyny when dealing with anger and frustation regarding relationships. You just need to read the comments on this very video to see the resentment some of these men have for women. Women, on the other hand, are more inclined to resort to self hatred and to be bitter against other women for their loneliness, so them atracking men over it is not a big concern. But the main thing is: the study he used argues one of the reasons for this loneliness is society's expectation of men as providers. I don't think this is false at all, and I also don't think this should be seen as a "problem caused by women, lets hate on them", but the red pill community does exactly that so Dr. K have to be extra cautious when bringing it up or he risks condoning this kind of speech himself or at the very least not preventing it.

getting skilled with woman is not something that comes automatically when you own a house, have a job etc. its a thing on its own, that needs to be developed on its own. you can start developing it without a house, job etc. as many ppl do unconciously while younger. there are ppl who almost exclusively do this who have a shitty job, no house and yet they have plenty of opportunities with woman. when you train chest and beck, dont expect to get huge legs some day. you will only get huge legs if you train them separately, not as an automatic followup for the other body parts you train. its the same with life: advancing in one area, doesnt mean that the other automatically gets better. working and buying a house doesnt come along with a desirable woman automatically. the desirable woman comes, when you can attract them. if you have never learned this and thought that you get them automatically when you work in other areas of your life, then you were mistaken. as on how to learn this: just deal with woman. old, young, medium age. actually listen, care. learn. eventually you will get a feeling for the person and you can try stuff. find a way to do this frequently. for me, it was a work at a nightclub. worked wonders for my social competence, as you have so many personalities in such a short amount of time, the learning volume is huge. good luck ps. if working and owning house, having a dog and spending time with you parents is most of what there is to say about you, you will most likely be seen as "nice" which equals to boring and wont give you many chances.

@@raze956 its blind luck

@@raze956 becoming "skilled with women" lmao bro you make it sound like an entire gender is like a game of tennis or something

@@inquisitionagent9052 Its blind luck similar to how poker is blind luck. Sure, you may not control the deck and sometimes it goes against you. Untrained players will just take the odd W and then give up when they see enough L's. A skilled player knows how to turn an L into a W, and even if they can't do that they understand that the only way a previous game will impact a future game is if they're the ones carrying the baggage with them. But of course most of us are not skilled players, and becoming a skilled player takes a whole lot of time and dedication. Two things that society has been training us to live without or even actively suppress for decades now.

I am also in the stages of this

Basically after watching hours of Dr. K's videos i came to a conclusion that the solution is to "improve yourself" but in a non-materialistic way 1) Find the source of unhappiness (which is inherently inside you. Why do you even dislike being lonely? that's the main question) 2) Resolve it (most likely by controlling your ego and desires) 3) Gratz, you don't need a gf And i haven't seen a single good advice about getting a GF, every single dating advice is wrong in some ways.

So basically you have to almost reach buddha's levels of understanding the world and yourself just to stop being lonely as a male. Have fun.

I might be able to give some insight on this matter. About 5 years ago I was a 5'9 chubby shy dude with social anxiety. Barely had any friends, couldn't hold a conversation. Had some toxic mental models since childhood that made me the creature I was but that's besides the point. 5 years ago I decided to take the step to make a change. I worked tirelessly in the gym. Shed a lot of weight. Took care of myself. Fixed my diet, adopted a skincare routine, the works. I started reading a lot of self help books and scowering the internet about mental health. I would say the worst of my mental issues are gone. (Except my depression and need to self sabotage which are on the rise again). I forced my self to enter social situations. I took a job that required me to negotiate and interact with clients daily. I cultivated somewhat of a personality and could now hold a conversation. Like a video game character I was leveling up. In the hopes of one day being worthy of love. Guess what the end result was? I still got blown off and got passed on for some other guy. Sad to say but It's all random luck. I genuinely thought that if I work hard enough, any obstacle can be overcome in life. But this is not the case. You can do everything right and stull gue cucked out in the end. Since then I've been slowly spiraling back to that old hole I found myself in 5 years ago. Once again I am isolating myself, my depression is getting worse, working out doesn't feel good anymore and I'm scared. I dont want to go back to being that loser I was 5 years ago. I was kinda proud of the person I was becoming. But at the end, whether or not you find someone us just a matter of luck.

@@TheGlenofKrokot i joke sometimes about how reaching true enlightenment and nirvana is easier than getting a woman for some guys

The answer is SIMPLY just be tall, rich, emotionally intelligent and good looking with a side of being a good bad boy. If you don’t have those traits then... goodluck lol.

I absolutely agree. Men are so conditioned for that talking point that when I try to have conversations with them and I don't default to "defending women" as a whole (why would I lump 50% of the population into one group and defend them all? Women aren't a monolith) and actually agree with them that there are issues men face in society that need to be addressed they don't know where to take the conversation after that. That tells me that they haven't given much thought to their issues and how to address them beyond just trying to convince people they have issues in the first place. Which means they haven't been able to apply much critical thinking beyond that point because no one's having real conversations challenging them to think beyond that point. They just keep getting stuck at square one.

Society already has a presumption that men have it better, so any problem they encounter is diminished because it's established that women have always had it worse.

I think the sad reality from his side of the channel is that there is a vast army of angry, anti-social misogynists that we don't see ready to invade if he gives them space. I think you are correct that it would be helpful in general but like a nasty virus, its really really easy to infect a community with toxicity and spiral out of control (especially given the demographics of this audience). You can see a lot of comments dipping their toes in those waters already. Its just too compelling for a lot of people to resist.

Finally saying what needs to be said.

Right, because that approach starts with the premise that men's issues in relation to women are likely to be an attack upon women, but if we're addressing issues for men there's no good reason to begin with that assumption. If a man's criticism of women ends up being an attack, then recognize it for what it is, but apologizing to women before actually beginning to recognize male problems only ends up communicating that men shouldn't feel the way that they do.

@Wrath of Fenrir reddit is a misery hole and discord is probably to becouse he has a reddit platform I hope men start taking some well deserved pride for who they are or they will stay miserable.

was about to write pretty much the exact the same comment, well said.

@@ivanbukac4618 well this just increases our self deletion rate. . . .

"Most men live lives of quiet desperation" - Henry David Thoreau

I see it more as an attempt to make people who watch not to take a 'man vs woman' mentality, which I always see happen in the comment sections of similar videos - the comment sections became a "woe is me" self victimizing outlet (not limited to just men) - rather than to avoid being offensive.

it is. I'm fully supportive of more genuine conversations of men's struggles. But at the same time the conversation gets polluted with guys who can't go 2 seconds without talking about women. "women have the upper hand" "women can't understand" "women are the problem." "women do this" "women do that." Even the article couldn't go without bring up women and their "abundance of choice." It puts women on the defensive because the conversation about men's issues gets associated with conversations that involve lumping all women into an entire monolith that's often portrayed as spoiled, lacking personal accountability, selfish, and shallow. Yes, bad women exist. Women are not angels who all need to be respected. Women are human just as capable of being flawed horrible people as men. We need to have conversations about men that are just about men. No bringing up women as the source of all your problems. (a lot of men's issues are actually created by other men setting the standard of what makes a "real man" not women), AND not bring up how talking about men's issues doesn't invalidate women. Both narratives damage the ability to have genuine conversations about problems plaguing men. and for the record I also have a problem when feminists bring up men all the time too. It causes the same problems.

@@Vannabee13 This is the best take. Discussions of men’s issues are unfortunately tainted by a large trend of woman-hating in most spheres (I’ve seen traces of it even here), when the focus should be on how best to solve the problem in a way that is also sympathetic to the struggles of the opposite gender.

@@Vannabee13 The standard of having to be a real men is NOT set by other men, it is set by WOMEN. Except for a small group of idiots men do not care what other men thinlk of them. Do you know whose opinion men care about? WOMENS! And how do we see what opinions women have about how a man shoudl be? By WHO THEY ARE DATING. The message that you should not be a "be attractive/don't be unattractive"_redpill wanna be asshole is difficult to integrate when we constantly see these types of guys gettign the women. And there are countless men who were constantly told to share their feeling with their partner just to be dumped when they did it or have it be used against them. Being told "you jsut have to be nice" sounds fucking hollow once you see it is not the nice guys getting girls. And don't derail it with "nice guys" are not nice guys. Genuine nice guys do also not get the women.

@@jonathancangelosi2439 just by sheer logic of numbers there's a single woman for every single man. Yet the narrative of dating difficulties for men can't go one second without saying something about women having an abundance of options and never going without a man. How does that mathematically even make sense? If men are single, so are women. So can we stop acting like all women are so flooded with options they don't know what to do with themselves? Men are struggling in the dating market. Get that. Totally valid issue to talk about. No, women aren't flooded with options by contrast. Pretty and young woman maybe. But not "all women." It's like guys hear "average woman" and think they're all Instagram models.

@@misshapenwhale5045 question, who dominants the field of dating advice for heterosexual men, women or other men? Who are men going to for advice on how to be a better man, women or men? Who bullies men more for not adhering to male stereotypes, women or men? Women may reject men and not give them the attention they desire. But who do men go to for explanations for WHY women reject them, women or men? There's a reason it's called the "manoshere" the conversations are dominated by men. Men are telling you what women want, men are telling you why you're single, men are telling you how to act, what to say, what to do. I've seen a lot of men talking about women, what women want, why dating women is so hard, what women are experiencing in the the modern dating market. There's a lot of men sharing their experiences but you never see them listening to the perspective of actual women to hear their take on it. Dating is hard. I know. I'm sympathetic to the struggle of finding the right person. But I'm tired of seeing guys talking about women and blaming women, deciding they know how women REALLY feel and what they REALLY think, what they REALLY want, when they aren't women! If women are really setting the standard for what men should be, then maybe you should be trying to talk and listen to women? Don't get your advice from men and then complain that women's standards are too high when it doesn't work.

Its truly annoying.

Compare with the video “addressing misogyny” he posted 8 months ago.

Gotta make sure he ain't getting canned. Respecc the PC (no, it's not personal computer).

Dr. K is great, but his PC inclinations are getting out of hand sometimes. I mean, let people be offended, that's their choice anyway.

BUT MALE PRIVILEGE!!!!

Yeah, I felt the beginning of the video was a bit problematic in itself. To discuss men's issues and show men any kind of charitability has become really unacceptable.

I agree that it's telling; at the same time - I do appreciate it being there - for educational purposes. It's nice to be reminded to adjust our thinking in a positive way; I appreciate that there's someone like DrK out there, giving people these reminders. There's a lot of young people on this planet - and nobody comes in fully formed, so it's good for good lessons to be repeated; also, you never know - maybe for some people, it's the first time that they see things framed quite this way; or maybe it's that straw that makes things "click" for someone. I think what makes it work for me is that I take it both ways - both as a reminder for the women-issues people, AND for the men-issues people not to discount women's issues - even though this particular video focuses on men's issues (which is totally okay - should go w/o saying). I like the acknowledgement that even though the premise of this video is "men have it hard", women face a host of other issues in the same space. I like that it's validating for "both sides" of the discussion. (Also, it does serve as a very subtle, and a very kind callout for the "wo/men have it hardER" attitude, which is pretty cool.) I think this models good behaviour, so I appreciate it.

It is humorous that on women's video he says women have it ahrder than men. HOwever, on the mens video apparently we need to stop comparing??

10 minutes out of 55 is a little over 18%. It's in the percentage range of some kind of tax 🥲

I think the reason for this is two fold and it has less to do with women or feminism than just Dr.K's audience. I can imagine Dr.K nodding to female issues in order to avoid some criticism. But given the fact that most of his audience is male I think that the actual reason for mentioning female issues might be trying to recognize that they exist in order to avoid his viewers falling onto the "women have no issues", "women have it so easy" crowd. Because this crowd tends to be loud and prevalent in male spaces that speak of male problems (which is also a problem on the women's side).

Women are complaining that the options available at the grocery store aren't the best; men are complaining that they can't even get into the door to shop. There is a very clear difference and one is more dire than the other.

@@Cybertech134 I disagree, I’m a man and I genuinely think most men if they get the attention will equally be unhappy, it’s kind of like chasing something for so long and when you get it you realise it’s not actually all that.

Exactly! It's almost as if we want eachothers problems. It makes it very hard for either side to sympathize.

@@Cybertech134 4:35

@@emilka2033 I know what he said, but he's plainly wrong. The entire video is him telling men that it's not as bad as they think it is when in reality, it is as bad as we say it is.

Yes, I think it's a shame that this seems to be restricted to bars and clubs these days.

@@melitajay here at least, bars are not much of a place to meet anymore, to much space for abuse due to alchool.

It ain’t gonna happen. This society is too far gone. Men will turn to vr in the meta verse to get what they want. It’s already happening. Eventually, there’s not gonna be any guys left in the dating market, women will have to settle for the top 1% of guys (who’ll have all the power and authority in the world, effectively resetting all this “progressive” movement) or be left single and alone. This is our dystopian future, if climate change, wars, or economic recession don’t get us first…

@@ViPER5RT10 you say it's a dystopia but I disagree strongly to your perception of the future. The reality is, we are making huge strides in AI, robotic, but also in other fields like biology. There is a big chance that we will make biorobots before long. From that point, nothing would prevent us to expand humanity in ways we can barely fathom now by merging humanity with AI and robotic. Humans being alone would at that point be only a matter of commanding through the Amazon of that time for companionship from our creations. Creations that would be able to fulfil our needs. Truth is, we don't know what 2040 will look like, the world is just changing that fast before our eyes at an exponential pace. Assuming it will be a dystopia is simply fatalism, not realism. We are at a turning point of evolution on Earth, an inflexion point where darwinian evolution will be taken over by our tech capabilities. At this point any prediction is doomed to be wrong by a huge margin as nothing similar happened in the past. Ultimately the progressive movement you seem to dispise is the only way forward, those who don't accept diversity and change will go extinct, while a new humanity will take over. Up to you to be part of the future or the past.

There are still ways to meet people irl--hobby meetups, conventions, clubs, community events, classes, shows. There are definitely fewer of these than before the internet era, but there are still plenty. You just have to look for them.

Yes, that sounds really rough. I hope you will find peace and love one day. I wish you luck with that.

Except lonely dudes who dont say toxic things arent called lnceI. lnceI is a term that was completely adopted and used by toxic guys who are part of lnceI subreddits and websites. Its a word used to refer to very specific people who are part of a very specific community. Thats how it has been used for years, and that's why people use it as an insult. Ask yourself this, how often do you see people use "involuntary celibate" as an insult? Literally never, people specifically use "incel" which is a NOUN not an adjective. They are specifically referring to the people who use toxic lingo like "beta bux" or "chad" or "femoids"...etc Like, if someone was arguing with a misogynist and they called that misogynist an lnceI, they arent talking about you. Most of the time the misogynist isnt even celibate, so they're only being insuIted for sharing horrible views with the people of that community, not for the sexuaI activity. Almost no one who uses lnceI as an insult thinks badly of people who cant get laid. If they did, they would use "lnceI" or "involuntary celibate" against guys like you as well, not just misogynists. If a misogynists is called lnceI, and you take that as an insult to yourself, then you need to recognize that the insult is not being dealt because inceI's dont have sex, but rather because they develop toxic pathetic ideas

@@botanicalitus4194 mem get called an incel online for saying anything that not women Good men bad. he'll I literally just asked a guy "That's an interesting statement what are you views on the video as a whole" and got called an incel for it.

@@creeperkingdom3190 I was just going to comment this too. I've been called an incel just for sharing some (fence sitting, non extreme) opinions about the men/women topics. Also, misogynist and incel arent the same thing to begin with. So a person calling a misogynist an incel is already using the word in a stupid way (unless the person is both.) Because somebody can be misogynist but not an incel, and vice versa. Also, in the last video on this channel about womens loneliness, somebody accused me of being a woman hater for saying "Nice video, I just wish people in the comments didnt try so hard to make it so 'us vs. them.'" You're right, you cant say almost *anything* that isnt 100% in agreement or you're slandered.

@@botanicalitus4194 people totally get called an incel regardless of loneliness or misogynist beliefs.

Sorry should’ve been born as a girl 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

You got it! Men's entire problem is sexism against women and Trans folk.

It's loneliness in general. Who knows what the cause is though. I can only tell you that it was endemic before social media or the internet even existed. The only advice I can give is to be friendly and wear a mask -that is, be considerate and put your best face forward.

Agreed. All the eggshell walking was difficult to stomach, but I figure that's probably the sort of audience this channel has. He strikes me as an intelligent critical thinker who is genuinely interested in getting people to have the conversation, so maybe he thinks kid gloves and tip toeing are the only ways to not have his viewers be triggered/offended and immediately plug in their ears.

I agree and I also found it frustrating. I think we have to take this video as more of an introductory/investigative look at the issue and a discussion on a good frame of mind from which to approach articles and information related to it. Hopefully he will do more of a deep dive in the future...

You can't acknowledge that there is a problem. Because the powerful cults or ideologies that control the culture and mainstream narrative fight and suppress anyone that suggests anything outside of their dogma and beliefs. It offends them, and everyone is afraid of offending them for fear of being canceled. This problem has been going on for along time its only gotten worse recently.

True these corporations like Instagram, Tinder, TikTok, OkCupid and Bumble are so smart and so good at monetization of the male and female loneliness. In fact instead of solving the problem they have only multiplied it by 100 times. Even Dr K talks about this same thing in a video.

Corporate America doing its thing. Sooner or later the god damn oxygen in the air is gonna be monetized.

Nailed it succinctly. I don't believe dating apps are designed to make dating easier. They're just there to commodify loneliness and accelerate the underlying problems so they can upsale you on a false solution.

Well this will have bad effect in the long run.

@Wrath of Fenrir lol, I guess that's a perspective I never thought of and now can't stop crying 😅🥲😭

"third places" are low stress low cost spaces where you can socialize with strangers, where you would traditionally grow relationships with diverse people, and they have basically disappeared in the last couple decades. I have similarly had really good luck with women that I have met in person, it's astounding really. But I am not actually sure that I have interacted with any single woman in the past 5-6 years since I graduated, granted pandemic was a lot of those years. Now that the local meetup groups are starting back up I am gonna give that a shot for meeting people I guess.

What places did you end up going to?

I can answer that one from at least my perspective: around 17 years and counting... and no conclusion in sight for the foreseeable future. I'll admit I'm what you might call a slowbloomer who has very few dates far in-between, and I certainly comes with some difficulties myself.... but I can't speak of a succesful story yet (which btw also wasn't the case during school)

I feel like this is part of my problem too, I haven't really made new acquaintances outside of school and the workplace but since I'm probably done with school and haven't met anyone in the small team at work, I feel doomed. I'm a decent, reasonable and capable guy, people who are exposed to me long enough usually like me and think I'm funny, I don't look bad and I've been in therapy long enough to develop a good EQ but I've been single for more than 10 years at this point. I don't think I'll ever get the courage to talk to a stranger I find attractive and dating apps did not work at all for me. I just feel left out and the societal conversation around men's issues makes me feel like I should just kill myself and that nobody would bat an eyelash.

Probably because the male dominated audience is more likely use the opinion piece as a cudgel against women's issues.

@@RaNdOmkiid100 This. Its an uncomfortable truth that a lot of men don't want to admit. A lot of the comments want to believe this dynamic doesn't exist but anyone in this space for any amount of time knows that its still a very strong force, using the cloak of mens issues as their current rationalizations. I've seen many a content creator/audience in this space be swallowed whole by the negativity. Lots of rational men in this space would be shocked at the comments Dr. K gets in private (both the content and the volume).

To be fair, if you look at the post Dr. K was responding to in the female loneliness video, the woman didn't bring up men at all originally or make any points about how much easier men have it, or how men couldn't possibly understand, or that men were the source of her problems. When men talking about being lonely, they often bring women into the conversation to say women can't understand. So yeah, you are going to have to address that talking point if they bring it up first.

Also, I didn't interpret the preface as "we aren't dismissing women's issues." To me it leaned more towards "we're not going to dismiss men's issues because women have suffered" which is a perfectly appropriate point that women need to be reminded of.

Stop it don’t make me think too hard the internet will call me an incel if I agree

He has no clue what he is talking about, this 'psychologist'

it always has been man your expected to just figure life out as a man and not complain about anything.

@@crumbtember What exactly do you suggest? The issue is that whilst there may very well be more men at the top in companies, and more men in high positions in politics, none of that should make it any less important to discuss systematic issues such as men getting longer jail sentences, or personal issues such as feeling far less emotional support from the people around them. Despite whoever sits at the top, if we "the people", you, me, everyone else here, speak out and demand change, then we can make it happen. But when the conversation amongst the people is less open to certain topics, to discussing certain groups issues, then that's a problem. We can convince the people at the top, whether they're mostly men or not, to change the situation. But the conversation amongst the public needs to take place first. Even IF women have more problems, or worse problems, that doesn't mean that you invalidate or dehumanize men and suggest that any discussion of their issues should be prefaced with an apology. I get what you're trying to say, but the issue is dealt with by men and women standing up together and being one anothers biggest supporters and cheerleaders, not by lowkey insinuating that we shouldn't love and care for men too. In fact, one of the biggest issues in society in precisely that there is a blatent empathy and compassion gap in terms of how we listen to and help men and women. You see it in everyday life. The current status quo is a result of a currently one sided social narrative where we have been incorrectly informed that men have everything good, and are bad people, whereas women have all of the problems and are angels. Hence, the need for an apology to even consider a discussion of mens issues. It's born out of anger and immaturity, not empathy and compassion.

@@crumbtember genuinely love how conceited people sound when they bring up patriarchy and socio-economic imbalances towards women when discussing problems the AVERAGE man faces. the average man working a close to minimum wage job doesn't benefit from the patriarchy, didn't contribute to the establishment of the patriarchy, and doesn't work to maintain the so called patriarchy. why is it so difficult to just discuss problems groups of people face without instantly jumping towards oh boo hop patriarchy women have it worse 💀

I’m fairly certain a decent chunk of the audience isn’t well adjusted enough to help. Considering half the comments sections come off as a “pick me” suffering contest.

@@crumbtember I assume you're referring to the part where I said; "But when the conversation amongst the people is less open to certain topics, to discussing certain groups issues, then that's a problem." By that I mean that any issue that needs to be discussed for the wellbeing and health of men, is inherently less welcome within the discussion, so much so that it requires a 5 min+ preface as an apology. It seems that the only exception is when the conversation is being held by women on mens behalf, and then they all too often misrepresent the issues since they aren't the ones facing it, and leave out any discussion of the more serious issues altogether.

The trouble is people in general especially on the internet can't appear even slightly one sided. Otherwise people will assume that you have no interest in the other side's opinion.

This is literally what I don‘t get about any of these videos. As if "dating" would magically solve this problem. Loneliness is about connection. These men are absurdly fixated on dating and not even on finding someone they truly like, just… any woman will do. Like we are not actual people. At least this is how it comes across. When men lose their wives to divorce or death they simply wither. Women usually start becoming active in their community. Y'all truly need to make some friends first.

Ecause science has proven men are healthier when attsched to a romantic partner

@Quantum Passport wrong way to go about it. Having no experience will lessen your chances by then.

Your clearly not a man. As a man people fear me in public. I have had people call the police on me for simply standing in public and not doing anything but listen to music. Strangers don't like to interact with me because we live in a society that teaches everyone especially women, who are over 50% of the population, to fear men as someone will hurt you. So every time I interact with a person I have to prove my innocence to them before I can get them to talk to me. When your treated like a criminal every time you try to talk to somebody eventually you just give up.

Honestly I think it's because most people experience loneliness primarily in the romantic sphere. For some people, other ways of socializing _can_ eliminate loneliness, but that's not always true. People can feel 100% fulfilled in every other area but the lack of a partner causes that agonizing loneliness. Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to completely eliminate that feeling before you're ready for a relationship.

Nice comment

I think Dr.K is aware that some of the ppl watching him are men/boys who hold certain blackpill/redpill/incel belifes and it sounds to me that he often says things that take that into consideration. Alot of these guys who are struggling belive that women don't have any problems they need to navigate on their own, all are shallow/want guys who are 6 feet tall, rich, etc., and all women are only ever attracted to 10 percent of guys or whatever image of women these ideoligies paint. So when he says things like "Being born a woman is life on hard mode", he's directly responding to comments in those ideologies that say "Being born a woman is life on easy mode". Or like when he's making his disclaimer here, hes doing it to remind ppl to have nuance and understading and keep the conversation grounded in reality. A lot of these beliefs that women have no problem don't help actually help these navigate these problems. They are a distraction. Understanding that women are trying to navigate issues on their own end don't invalidate the fact that men have a lot of issues that they are also trying to navigate, it adds nuance to the issue as a whole which will help ppl refocus their attention on things that can actually help. And 75% of everything on this channel is focused on men's issues (a good thing). There are very few videos that are focused on women's perspective and often when thier are Dr. K uses is to try to show his primaraly male audience that women dealing with their own shit. Dr. has made disclaimers that also deal with their own issues in the past, in the video about Women and Harrasment in gaming. In there, as he is talking to the women who were talking about to talk about getting harrassed while gaming, he tells them to remember and keep in mind that women can also do things that hurt men (im paraphrasing). Even then, most of hs videos are about men, and he often talks about men who are lonely. But with all that being said, I'm curious how you think he should have approched talking about the article (keep in mind, I think he wanted to talk about the article more specifically) while also keeping the conversation grounded, as is his goal in all these videos? What should he have siad insted? Should he not address people who focus most of thier attention during these conversation on women's "lack" (or percieved lack) of issues they have to navigate?

Being born a women is life on hard mode, LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. This is so funny. Let me tell that to the guys who were on the titanic and Sheppard the women and children first to the lifeboats before they themselves went down with the ship.

I think Dr K failed here. I can’t help but wonder if he just cannot relate at all. He’s a married man in what seems like a very healthy relationship. He just can’t relate. Or if he just doesn’t care about or believe in those issues and he is being political by doing all this hedging and avoiding addressing any of those things outright. I felt that he spent the entire video talking about how women react to men’s issues, and how men react to men’s issues, without actually talking about men’s issues. And you’re right, it’s telling that he felt he needed to do that on the video about men’s loneliness but didn’t need to do that in the one about women’s.

dont put much thought into it, at the end of the day, whatever the psychologists and sociologists say, all the "positive" sexism towards women you see, it's just the evolutionary instinct of people to protect women more because they can have children aka women are wonderfull effect. I dont give a shit that i dont have a degree in this field, this phenomena is so fucking obvious it's hilarious. Take reddit, everyone clearly knows how hard they go against misoginy and sexism etc, you get instant bans for nothing and YET there are thousands of articles, posts etc over the internet that says that reddit has a problem with rampant misoginy even tho every subreddit except for r/mra that was critical of women has been banned. Two subreddits called r/gendercritical and r/femaledatingstrategy even with the obvious and continued misandry arent banned and still able to grow.

Your timestamp was a little off. Here you go: 1:32

I used Claude AI as my therapist and I hope find the love of my life soon. I did all I can level up as a good man and gave up my all to improve my dating life

Literally facts. I genuinely do think men just need a safe space to talk about this stuff without having the “well think about the women…” speech attached to it constantly

If you need someone to coddle you this much, that you can’t handle facts then go to therapy

Also tie this with the fact that he met his gf in highschool and she was his first girl meaning he never even dated in college nor in his 20s where most people generally do their dating. He has no sense of empathy for the topic.

That's because of toxic femininity which is bigger than ever.

Or "man up"

I wish there are more kinder and more compassionate women in the world.

I agree, but I feels unfair to post this sort of comment under the channel of a therapist. Dr K's literal job is to give more specific and applicable help to people.

Boosting EQ depends on the person you are interacting with. My only advice for EQ: 1) Don't do/say things that may change/challenge someone's perspective of themselves (I used to love doing this growing up, I think its my default mindset). 2) Making people feel happy/wanted is a ongoing process, you have to keep interacting with people to ensure the social bond stays strong.

@@thatchapthere Not when the complaints the article provides are quite specific.

On one hand, I do think that "Just be emotionally availble" is a very good advice. On the other hand, this advice is clearly not for everyone because there are people out there that being emotionally availble will change nothing because no one wants to emotionally connect with them in the first place so for their availbility or lack thereof become relevant. It's like telling an author who wrote a book about something no one wants to read to rewrite the book with proper grammar so it will become a best-seller.

Here's how to boost Emotional Intelligence for REAL: Learn about Psychology, social awareness, self awareness, communication skills, politeness, expressing yourself, being open or transparent, asking good questions, making statements, communicating openly and honestly, explaining things effectively, how to be a better listener, how to be on the same communication pace. Learn about Philosophy, look up philosophy quotes about love, relationships, crush, friendship or stories. Learn about Buddhism or Spirituality (not religion) Being the greater good, the peacekeeper and the wise. (Wisdom skill) Edit: Learn from Mistakes, from failed conversations or failed dates. Get as much experience as possible. (Grind communication and mistakes because there is always a lesson) Bonus: Learn about zodiac compatibility and zodiac traits

I mean, love isn't 100% unconditional. Being unemployed (for either partner) is not a great sign. Likewise, not having a job may mean fewer social connections that lead to the emotional skills gap suggested. However wealth inequality and instability are things that will reduce relationship success so I agree that it's a somewhat of a societal problem

@@DerryckStorm Hey man, I appreciate the positive vibes, but that wasn't really the point of my comment. The article was not really all that useful, because it referenced a paper for conclusion A, whereas the paper came to conclusion B. I get that relationships are multifaceted and complex. Not having a job is also a complicated, and not great thing. Just as you draw the conclusion that not having a job suggests fewer social skills and emotional intelligence gaps, not having a partner might suggest lack of conflict resolution skills, a lack of persistence in the face of reoccurring issues, commitment problems, or low levels of conscientiousness, as an example. You might not have a partner because you're: not looking, not available, not lucky, not desirable, or some combination of the above. Now, you may not have a job because you're: not looking, not available, not lucky, not desirable, or some combination of the above. See the issue?

He’s talking out of his ass as per usual

The problem with you males. You wanna date women but you don't want to listen to their needs. Make it make sense lol

Yeah bc they’re probably meeting partners and friends at their jobs lol

God same, that’s why the online dating culture makes me nervous. Because while you CAN get lightning in a bottle and hit it off with somebody after about 20 minutes, I don’t think that’s what everyone should be expecting to happen every time they meet someone. It takes time for me to figure these things out, and it definitely wouldn’t be after a few seconds.

Same here. Oh how I wish I had grown up in the 60s or something, when people had to go out for everything. Going out with no cause, just for the purpose of meeting people just feels so artificial and forced, but with so much going on online, there's fewer real reasons to go out...

Most men are sh*t at communicating on dating websites. They expect you to be interested because of their looks, supremely overconfident in how they look, and put out the textual equivalent of a grunt. They don't take the time to show even a little bit of their personality, because they are lazy and expect women to just like them. I am reticent to contact any man just because he is good looking, if he cannot string together a few words to show me that he has a sense of humor and that he might have a personality that jibes with mine. I write engaging profiles, that are pretty clear about who I am. Most men just want to hook up and so all of that stuff does not matter. When the goals are different, this is going to happen.

This ^

you kinda listed the solution in your own comment. Online dating only tells you 2 things: what the person looks like and very superficial characteristics like profession and income. So if thats all women on dating apps have to go off of, they'll only flock to the best ones. In person dating is way better because you get a ton of other info about the other person, like their personality, charisma, and even emotional intelligence and whether or not they are a good listener. We need to destroy dating apps, they're toxic and useless unless all you are looking for is a hook up

@@botanicalitus4194 and having those traits are what keeps a person attracted to you as the absence of them causes a huge discrepancy long term

You... You know what communication is right? You don't have to be on a dating app to communicate with people. You just need social skills before you can communicate with anyone. So online dating isn't even "pretty close" to being "the only way to meet people." Online dating is just trying avoiding social skills

I was thinking the same thing.

I think Dr. K was asking if people watching were emotionally ready to talk about this. A lot of his introductory lecture was regarding comparisons regarding the suffering between genders. He asked "can you put your emotions aside for this topic? Can I talk about this? Are you ready?" Dr. K has released many, many videos about men's issues without asking for "permission". His permission was in regards to if the listeners were ready to be neutral to the topic. And many missed the point.

@@michaela9548 yeah so he was asking if we're finally ready to talk about an issue where men are disadvantaged, the fact he needs to ask....

@@rickymort135 the reason he is asking is the exact reason the comments are blowing up. People weren't ready to put aside their personal opinions to listen to his video. By saying "the fact he needs to ask.......", I interpret that as the viewers who were triggered by this video were emotionally unaware enough to blow up about a point they missed. Dr. K handled this video perfectly.

@@michaela9548 if he just focused on talking about this men's issue the only people getting triggered would be the ones who don't like to talk about men's issues because they feel it is rolls backs women's issues. The blow up because of his disclaimer not the other way round

What happened?

The Great Incel vs Simp vs Feminist War

@@db1777 Basically the war between 3 idiotic party's filled with idiots.

@@sorubro2193 the article referenced at the start started a load of video's and posts by men and women. just type in the title of this video in RU-vid and you'll find dozens of video's/shorts uploaded in the last couple of days

@@db1777 Can you summarize the talking points? I’m very interested in what the subreddit has to say but reading arguments with people being mean to each other just puts me in a bad mood.

I agree. Anti intellectualism is being pushed so hard. People aren't taught critical thinking and reading skills. We are taught to read a headline and rage about it. Also, I noticed that most people refuse to be tentative about their ideologies: we are forced to pick a side. The world isn't Black or White but we are pushed into that kind of thinking. I honestly think communication and emptathy needs to be taught because we are doing a shitty job.

Absolutely. Critical thinking and evaluating good quality sources is crucial. The author of this work would be been absolutely roasted at my university. We were told to maybe go as far back as three years if you had to, but for something like dating sites, there's absolutely no excuse to be using data that old.

This is a great point, people need exposure to dissenting opinions, without that there won't be much motivation for critical thinking, social media will need to change its monetization aims and how we interact with these mediums.

Truly underappreciated comment... I think it would change the world for the better, with great difference mind so, if we would teach young adolescents how to read and wright with this critical principles in mind.

Such an amazing comment

Don‘t you think it makes more sense to get rid of the judgement and imposed expectations

@@pmakiie What has been stopping people from doing that already? It's not like there are laws for 'judging men with low income'. But there are laws for 'removing gender pay gap' like affirmative actions etc . So far people have only been taking action against the pay gap. The reality is that there has been a one way gender valve on the path of progression. The fact that 60 percent of college graduates are female now and no one cares about gender equality for Men speaks to that.

@@dondovahkiin7899 How do you want to make a law against judging people xD I‘m sorry I‘d highly suggest for you personally to get into a circle of people first, who don‘t judge like that. I am in one and it’s awesome. Environment is everything. But you probably also have to change a bit in order to attract those kinds of people. All the best :)

@@pmakiie That was exactly my point. YOU CAN'T MAKE LAWS to prevent people from being judgmental on low income Men, or have different standards in dating, therefore maybe there should not be laws to try to minimize the gender pay gap. 1- Imagine women made 30 percent more money than men, Majority of Women would still expect their partners to earn similar if not more. That is simply not mathematically possible. Majority of Women that I have encountered who say they don't mind 'Men' earning less in general, do the opposite 'when dating' because of course they have 'standards' . 2- If Men are predominantly judged for lower income, then simply let the market do its thing and let them earn more. That has nothing to do with personal social circles. That studies are done on wide societal norms. individuals can not change the society alone. 3- Doesn't matter how much you believe in equality, if you are judged by society (and lets be honest, women) for not earning more money than your partner, you are going to have much limited options. Good luck to you too.

@@dondovahkiin7899 its mostly about facial attraction since now women ear more money than back in the day they now can choose men based on a ttraction

Because the "solution" Dr. K presented is to "just get better" once again. I wish he would say that the solution is to overcome loneliness through peace within yourself. But he didn't.

The solution is go to the gym, meet as many people as you can and suffer the social anxiety it goes with it untill you stop feeling or you get used to it. Be funny with jokes and be kind of an asshole with girls as you are with guys. If you are short and not attractive it's way harder. There is nothing else you can do as a guy in this times.

The dating market is like the job market where the minimum skill required to be successful is a lot higher than it was for our parents. I used to think social skills are not important, but the older I get, the more I realize that interacting with people to make them feel welcomed and build relationships is a real skill that a lot of men are terrible at, including myself.

@@sp123 I agree with most of what you said, but let's be honest our parents had better social skills. Our parent will meet new neighbors, talk to people, get out of the house. This generation lives on their cell phones.

@@sp123 the skill required is higher for men while lower for women when compared to previous generations. Women were once shamed and forced to abide by strict social controls which of course was wrong now they can be masculine, feminine, a girlboss, or stay at home wife while for men it has gotten more and more difficult because online dating means the top 10% of guys are chased by women while the rest are left out and treated like shit generally. And as one of the men who worked on myself plus was lucky enough to be in a position to make the work pay off I have had women offer off the bat to clean my place for me so they could "hang out" to get me to want to more which I told them I'll clean my own place and then chill because that's gentlemanly imo and proper but it's fucked up to see so many people and friends I grew up with great people with interesting stories goals and futures treated like uninteresting shit by women who have accomplished equal or less than what they have with the same lack of developed skills but society inherently values these women and defends their ego with fury while simultaneously shitting on the male versions of those same women. Trust me I cannot find women in gen Z my generation who are ok with traditional relationships/holding hands/cuddling etc but theres plenty who want to fuck on the first date or smash and dash first couple weeks or that have serious issues like dangerous drug addictions/criminal histories lol that I'm in danger meme is fitting for trying to date in the US in 2022 shit is fucked rn even for the "winners" who have meaningless stupid sex that should be available to everyone so people realize it's futility and our civilization can move on to better shit.

@@matasuki Yeah, competition for attention and entertainment has skyrocketed because of the internet and smartphones. It's difficult for regular people to compete for attention when on-demand streaming of movies, celebrities, etc has become ubiquitous. This has also led to an arms race of absurdity in order to catch and keep peoples' attention.

@@grillmaster95 yep all to make a few people very very wealthy. An externality of late capitalism

You completely missed the point of the video, and he did speak the truth

@@nile7999 no, he did it in a very defensive way. Therefore he is scared to lay it out as it is without some stupid, unneeded and even damaging setup.

womens standards are low af, be mentally stable and not be a misogynist. ez. if youre still getting rejected its because either youre an asshole or youre trying to get 8's when youre a 6

and lets say we get past this stage, in my experience, being emotionally available with women lead to 1. being ignored 2. accusations of not being manly enough 3. full on emotional and psychological abuse. Then when I had the gall to talk about my experience? instant "you weren't actually abused", "you weren't actually available", "you deserved it".

Women aren’t being too picky if they’re happy with their level of pickiness

@@popejaimie women set standards on men which is far higher than what said woman lives up to herself. This is fundamentally hypocritical.. So yea, you an be too picky

@@klimtkiller I do that, and I’m not too picky because I’d prefer to be single than with someone who doesn’t meet my standards. I’m exactly picky enough.

What an odd way to say modern women only desire chad and will hold out until they get him for a couple of days before he pump and dumps her and moves on

@@worthlessgarbage4857 Stop dating narcissists.

You're not an asshole, it's a good point.

Did he directly say that about women or was he quoting?

Money

@@dddestruction527 He did - the video called "Adressing Misogyny" literally has a time stamp "Being born a woman is life on hard mode" between 9;00 and 11;30. The video is from 8 months ago

compared-to-men,roasties-are-living-on-tutorial-mode. this-grifter-is-just-another-currycel-that-got-arranged-married,or-is-betabuxxing.

That was the point. There arealso lonely single women. It's not only men who suffer. Stop the suffer Olympics that was the point. Loneliness in men is addressed by Dr K every week on this channel I remind you that Dr K is not the platform for only men. Under every video you will have women and non binary people commenting

Well women also have issues and men don't understand it. When your gender goes on dating apps you use it as a trap to "catch women" rather than looking for something meaningful. You xualise them and objectify them. Women don't want that women want real men that understand them and wants real relationship not to just be f'ed and dmped

@@kattodoggo3868 exactly. These men need to grow up with all that tantrum.

i think both you and doggo need to be quiet

@@Kshipss Cry

You don`t need to date to aquire relationship skills. You can get them through having close friendships, having a job where you have to interact with a lot of different people, doing volunteer work, etc. You can coach the kids football team and learn to empathize with and motivate the kids, interact with their parents and their banter and complaints.

it's not about being social and/or being in a populated area it's about how you can relate to people on an intimate level, men are usually very VERY little inclined to have personal-level type of talks let alone personal friendships, unlike women. You can live in a populated sure area sure and go ahead and be more social and go out every single day and you may still get the feeling of "being lonely in a crowd"

based smt fan

This makes a lot of sense but there's one thing that doesn't add up: The Ancient Greeks had those beautiful statues of the gods and the mythological heroes, and their figures can be easily considered as attractive even by modern standards. But why didn't those statues, which broadly depicted perfect divine beings with desirable qualities that people aspire to have, cause this same effect as Instagram and Tiktok do while doing almost the exact same thing? I mean, I am yet to see rampant records of unreachable beauty standards destroying love and relationships. Is it because every individual Ancient Greek was as beautiful as the gods, or is it because of something else?

Nah the standards are women not putting up with abuse and sexism as much, and men can't handle women saying no or being their own person.

@@phosspatharios9680 Because love and relationships are modern concepts. Much of human history involved arranged marriages that weren't about love. Women didn't have much choice (women had almost zero rights in most of ancient Greece, the exception being Sparta where strong women were thought to produce strong men and men being off at war, meant women had to have more freedom to do things when they were left alone). The the thing that changed in recent years is that women have the choice to be single if they want to. And if women chose to be single that means men are forced to be single. For every single woman, there's a single man.

@@shelbyannechien7413 i mean its kinda both. I have seen a lot of negative social media influence. And yes I know where you're goming from. There's a lot of bullshit of "its all standards of women". That is also happeng and some standards are good. Like actually wanting someone who is actually compatible. And i don't think that i can be compatible with 50% of men. People are too different. And we shouldn't go for someone who first gives us attention. But but but internet sometimes telos lies and makes question our own heathy relationships. Like overuse of Red flags. Its important to make clear are actual dealbreakers. "oh his homofobic. You should leave him now. 😡." this kind of stuff. When we see internet couples we see this perfekt image. Which isn't all truth . Relationships are incredibly complex theres no better person.

Tik tok is cancer, but it will stay, probably forver...

@heda kom We don't pay any attention to the "kill all men" group when discussing women's issues, why do the same for men?

@heda kom definitely not the mainstream ideology that made any and all discussion on the topic inherently misogynistic

@heda kom oh sweet, a schizopost

Yeah women like to avoid communication by flirting constantly. Flirting is not good communication it is a way to avoid good communication but women don't seem to realize that.

There is difference between you thinking you can communicate and the truth that you actually can't.

As a woman I’m single for the same reasons. I’ve barely seen any relationships around me that I’ve find delightful. So it’s not worth being with someone when I already have other things keeping me distracted and reasonably fulfilled as well.

I'm personally more in the camp of any types of relationships is what I want. You say you have a good network of friends. Some of us, like myself, struggle to even have that. Also I think guys put so much hope in dating because that's what society/other men pushes onto us in order to be happy. I would be fine just having a genuine friendships with at least one person.

Glad someone else feels the same way I do. l dont think I've ever felt really lonely, I love being alone, working on projects. Hang with friends every so often and no one trying to monopolize my time seems pretty great to me.

As a woman, I had 6 relationships and they were 99% misery. Your life might very well be worse after you get a relationship, or stay the same than before. Why do you want it so bad? It's not like you get one woman and BOOM you're in heaven rest of your life.

Bro just because a relationship isn't the end-all be-all of life doesn't mean I don't want to experience one. I want to be loved by a woman, I want to have sex, I want intimacy, I want someone by my side.

Same here. I've been single for so long since birth and I do get occasional heartaches at times. It's hard to be patient

A world either full of narcissist, or entirely sadistic in nature. Some are surfing the kaliyuga and some of us appear as wolves even if were the most pacifistic person at heart. Thats why emotions make people stupid, sorry i type too fast

Cause shutting on men's faces is a profitable business with 0 consequences while vice versa is social suicide

I thought exactly the same and I wish Dr K would dare adress how we have to preface talkign about men's issues every time with 'buit of course women have it bad too' but never do the opposite when talking about women's issues

It sucks that he couldn't talk about an issue in general without calling out every individual group possible. He had to walk on eggshells since a lot of people online will interpret this however they want. Both sides of the war probably spammed his chat in the past for him to feel the need to do so

Men are so sensitive and unwilling to accept that most of their problems are due to their own horrible choices and an inability to accept responsibility and motivate themselves to change. So much easier to blame everything else I reckon.

Even more interesting considering there was a video specifically about women's issues literally like 6 days ago. Going to that and being like (men have issues to or going to this video and being like "women have issues too" is just dumb imo. Yes both have the same issues but he is giving specific advice for one of them right now. It's kinda like going to a talk about cancer and being like "heart disease is also a problem"

they just want ur money and will keep feeding you the worst advice and medication to make money

Women who are emotionally available want emotionally available men. Idk if you're aware of attachment theory but through it one can see that often people who are anxiously attached end up being drawn to those who are avoidant, that is to say- those who strongly want relationships and have a schema for relationships that suggests they gotta keep doing things to get the partner, and end up with partners who are neglectful and only give them attention when the partner presses them for this attention. Often the first group is women and the second are men, but definitely not always. People who work on themselves may become securely attached, which means they don't feel at a constant deficit when they aren't getting their partners full attention nor do they feel a tendency to avoid their partner when given said full attention. The fact broken people have a pattern of dating other broken people shouldn't concern those who would like to have a functional and fulfilling long lasting relationship. The reason the article was so biased in the first place is likely because the writer had many experiences listening to women complain about men, which is often about their emotional unavailability. But men can also be the ones who are anxiously attached, attracted to avoidant women, it's just that this particular psychologist probably had far less experience with that.

@@FirsToStrike whatever they say almost never matches their actions. as long as a guy is tall and good looking they will spin any narrative in order to explain that 'purely coincidental attraction'. biology is biology, nobody can change that

You are right, this is a part of it, but getting in a relationship with a woman is such an intrinsic part to masculinity, that it's literally impossible to replace this with emotional support from other men. It's a talking point that gets thrown around a lot, but I think that the experience of many men who have fulfilling friendships indicate that it's not enough. People want to be desired and not to be treated as ugly losers. Who cares if your friend likes you? This is about status in general. A female friend of mine was completely dissolved because a more attractive friend of hers was getting a lot of attention irl and also due to her not getting more than a few matches on dating apps. Imagine if she would have to deal with the possibility of not getting a relationship EVER. It would completely fuck her brain, like she has NO IDEA how this feels like, she is already completely fucked by the possibility of a girl in her friendgroup being more attractive. Idk people always trivialize getting into a relationship as a luxury, or as something that doesn't matter, well, most women sure seem to risk dealing with a lot of violence from abusive boyfriends just to be in one. I know it's tasteless to say this, but it's the truth??? And if this is the truth then how can we just tell people to talk more with their male friends.. this is not a solution.

@@xXWorldgamefunXx Emotional support from other men doesn`t replace a relationship with a woman, it enables it. You will be far more likely to ask a woman out and risk getting rejected if you know you will meet your mate tonight, have a good time with him and will be able to talk to him about how much it sucks to be rejected than when you know you will be alone at home feeling like shit if she rejects you. Also if I as a woman would sense that you see "a relationship with a woman as an intrinsic part to masculinity", basically me being a tool you need to feel like " a real man", I would run. You literally say that you see being desired by women as a sign of status. You don`t think we can sense when we are just a trophy and not a valuable person to you?

Even in areas where it objectively affects men more, like prison or war.

agreed. I like him and the channel but he's been doing this bs for a while now. Being single is a male problem let's be honest, there wasn't really the need to acknowledge the female perspective. Simply think about all the females you personally know, how many of them have problems in finding a partner? I personally can count 1, but because she has absurd standards. How many males you personally know that have that problem? The answer is probably be definitely more

@@CostaECosta98 I'm a lonely woman, hello🗿 I don't really understand your point here. Just because there're fewer women with this problem, does this make our struggle less valid? I just wish people would stop arguing about who has it worse and started actually aknowledging each others feelings... Edit: The atmosphere is getting tense in the comments. I hope nobody here feels invalidated or offended by my comment (that perhaps ended up being a little too emotional). I wish every lonely person reading this will find peace.

@@CostaECosta98 I wish he wouldn't have to do thios preface, because of course he doesn't have to do it when talking about women's issues. That being said I totally udnerstand why he does it. The MOMENT certain individuals on twitter start having the idea that Healthygamer is "red pill" "men's rights (how they see it)" or anythign similar, there is a very big chance the channel will be pulled into a shitshow and downward spiral which will ultimately end in its demise.

@@CostaECosta98 You clearly don’t know many women then 😅 wtf is this take?

Busca terapia, esos pensamientos pueden volverse peligrosos rápidamente. Nadie dice que estar solo en el mundo es lo ideal, pero estar solo en el mundo no es lo mismo que no tener pareja.

Damn man I feel you, especially as a fellow artist. I'm a film student and I get a lot of attention from other guys when I'm out with my cinema rig and whatnot. Meanwhile the chick's just ignore me no matter what I accomplish, and my family asking me when I'm gonna get a gf is not helping. Definitely feels like it'll never happen

@@awesometjgreen it’s bizarre when people just expect you to find a relationship.

@@awesometjgreen eres un estudiante!! Lo que me lleva a asumir que no tienes más de 23 años, dale tiempo al tiempo haz muchas amistades y no escuches a tu familia las probabilidades dicen que se casaron por que estaban embarazados, si a los 26 aún no ha, tenido algún tipo de relación entonces puedes recién empezar a preocuparte un poco 😌

im praying for you to find your way brother

Yeah, this is one of the major issues I have with all this. Typically when a guy has a concern regarding lack of success in some department or another it always comes down to personal responsibility. When women spend half their day trying to get attention and then are surprised Pikachu face when a bunch of dudes are in their DMs, I'M the toxic one for pointing out how they might be contributing to their own problem. I get that in any case there are circumstances that we can control and some that we can't. It's just that there is a double standard when it comes to the approach for men and women. You can say that incels ruin it for everyone else, but other people ruin it too by just tossing you into the incel category the second you suggest women take responsibility along with you lol

its literally a common internet phrase to say "women live life on easy mode", and pretty much no one every uses it the other way around, so how can you say that women's problems are being treated as serious societal issues then? also if you are even remotely familiar with the comment section of this channel, you literally constantly see people saying that men have it worse. your comment is doing the exact thing dr k said not to do, which is diminishing the problems of others (women in this case)

My opinion on Andrew Tate is that his popularity is the equivalent of a bunch of frustrated and angry men lashing out emotionally.

No, women's issues aren't societal problems men need to fix. This is a false dichotomy that damages the discussion. Yes there are women who blame men and society for all their problems. They are equally wrong and deserve to have the flaws in their logic pointed out. Finger pointing and saying "But when THIS group does it.." NEVER helps the conversation. And it's why these huge disclaimers of "now we're NOT ignoring the other group okay? We can talk about one groups struggles without dismissing this other equally important groups struggles as well, okay?" Because people keep turning it into an us vs them issue when it shouldn't be. You can talk about your own struggles without comparing and contrasting another group of people as "not able to understand" in the process. And it doesn't matter if it's a man or woman who's doing it.

@@botanicalitus4194 exactly

because a portion of his audience is incel losers and being nice to them will propagandize them into normal people hopefully

Sadly that's the most help we're going to get from a more left leaning individual when it comes to mens issues. People want to shit on the right all the time, but at least it's not the side demonizing masculinity when our societies were very clearly built on the backs of hard-working men.

​@@vargusdread9519 Hi Vargus, it's important to recognize that each side has its own problems and that the majority of people recognize that no worldview is perfect. Indeed, the left is just starting to realize the whiplash they have induced on their quest for equity, and at least the open minded within the sect are working to rectify the issue. I would caution against the hasty generalizations in your comment, and instead I would advise to notice the nuances in modern political discourse that are too often overshadowed in favor of sensationalism and black-and-white thinking. Cheers.

​@@romdotdogwomen lead life on easy mode. Stop the cap. Men leade lives that are a living hell. A feminist who pretended to be a man killed herself. I'm tired of pretending female difficulties are of the same level of that of men.

@@vargusdread9519 I get that this video didn’t talk about any of the things you were hoping for. I didn’t enjoy it very much either. However, there are probably a hundred or more hours of content just on this topic in other videos on this channel. Many of them have helped me personally. Politicising it isn’t helping anyone.

@@romdotdog The open minded within the sect? I've only found a few open minded influencers on the left leaning sphere like Destiny or Shoeonhead and sure they are "trying" to rectify this issue but to no avail. Why? Because the ideological presupposition of modern progressive politics go against any man with healthy testosterone levels. Even when they try their best to make a conventional path of dealing with male issues within the progressive ideology, they clearly fail. NaturalHypetrophy had a great video on that which is funny since this is a fitness channel that delves into philosophy from time to time but the conclusion was pretty clear. The reason why communism had such a big male base is because it was celebrating the parts of masculinity that are considered toxic and in fact made good use of said parts into achieving the communist ideal, even if it was bound to fail.

Actually most of his viewers are men I believe, so I don't think he is trying to not get yelled at by a female audience. I think he is trying to give men perspective so that they don't go down the route "women have it so easy" which is a typical narrative in male spaces that speak of male problems. Which is a shame, because sht isn't a competition.

@Wrath of Fenrir We would need to look at the stats, but regardless it is not a bad thing to do, to tell one group of people that their's aren't the only problems. In fact it is something that should be done much more in feminist/women's spaces, as there aren't enough women who are knowledgeable on men's issues. In my opinion if we all were informed on each other's isues, sht would be resolved much quicker. Ps. Cool username, I used to have a cat named Fenrir.

@@cheyemily6066 cancel culture doesn't care who the intended or actual audience is, they will attack people for anything they see as an opinion that doesnt align with their own. That's why he has to do that even though his real audience doesn't care.

@@Metaphix one RU-vidr being intellectually honest about the nature of statistics and sociology is not an argument against the patriarchy. I'm not sure why everyone is getting so triggered by him addressing the women's side of things as, presumably, that's who these lonely men want to be dating in order to not be lonely.

​@@AN-sm3vj Huh? I'm just saying if the culture was so skewed in men's favor why would anyone feel the need to try so unbelievably hard to placate feminists and couch every talk of men's issues with 10 minute disclaimers to avoid the massive amount of hate they'd get for not talking about women instead lol you're thinking too hard.

I mean applauding women for having a higher standard than awful seems pretty reasonable to me. And laughing at the sadness of the situation when men can't meet basic levels of partner material is sometimes more like a coping mechanism than anything else

@@VioletEmerald for some reason I don’t think the difference between “awful” and not “awful” is being over or under 6 ft tall ,or being or not being white.

Literally a girl I was thinking of texting reposted the article on her story and basically did the same thing. Applauding the women for having their unfair standards while making guys like us sound subhuman just because we want to be loved

@@sanjeevpatel2674 I don't know what racism in dating or height of men has anything to do with this comment thread or this article or people's reactions to it. I never saw a reaction to this article that brought those things into it

@@VioletEmerald Because the main "standanrds" women actually have on dating have to do with physical appearance. All other things are secondary and only matter if you meet the looks criteria.

Name checks out

@@bassiedappie635 LMAO he set himself up.

This is comedy XD

Sometimes it's important to hear and work through tough things to get to a balance.

Whats balanced anymore, and where did we go wrong?

Also, financially well off women are also more likely to be married. Stable people with good incomes have more relationship success. Instability has social aspects including wealth inequality that has gone unchecked. I think focusing on the individual part here misses opportunity to move forward. We need to create a more stable affluent society so that relationships can thrive. IMO it's a wealth inequality problem.

Good point. My fiance has a full time well paying job now, but when we met he was working part time at target. The only reason he started pursuing a career in earnest is because I told him I wanted a family and in todays economy I can't do that alone. I needed his equal support in work like I have it in the home, and if he couldn't find the effort to really get full time work then that was the only thing I could see breaking us up, because no matter how much I love him our life goals would be too different. When faced with that, he stepped the fuck up and found the drive to do what it took to get the job he wanted - but he couldn't do it alone. I had to support him financially while he took a year long paramedic course, but I knew he was doing something about it so I stuck with him. Now, as a result of my temporary financial support, he is far more financially stable than before. This is something that ought to be teased out more.

"Women can get love and sex easily if they want it" (outside of a relationship). No, they can sex easily enough, but not love. Best they can hope for is FWB in that respect.

@@rejectionisprotection4448 They can get love if they choose the right man. Only issue is that being the "right man" also makes you the unattractive man.

Lmao. They really do have everything handed to them. Can't wait for the great rug pull generation to grow up. They better pray robot security guards are available on the market to protect them in the coming collapse.

😂

then when you point it out it's "both sides need their problems to be addressed stop tate keeping suffering" as if men and ladies problems are ignored equally in a socity which treats ladies day as a monumental event and mens day as a cheap joke no one remebers(just as an example

It’s because women are tied to your issues. Men are lonely, presumably due to a lack of romantic partnership. Heterosexuals are sort of entwined, you have to look at the whole to see the overall problem.

That's the gynocracy for you

The irony is palpable

Working 84hrs a week is not your fault. I wish you luck.

I dont think experience means shit. Sex is never "great" the first few times imo bc you have to learn what that person likes and dislikes which requires a lot of unsexy communication and vulnerability. Some dudes like having their balls sucked, some don't. Some chicks like having their clit pounded, others get off by being fingered. Every person is inexperienced with a new partner at first bc it takes time, energy, communication, and experimenting to figure out how to come together in a way that works for you both.

I hope your work schedule gets better soon ❤️

I really admire your level of self-awareness & not letting your circumstances make you bitter toward women. But, being inexperienced doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. Be easy on yourself. & when you have the time & are willing to be in a relationship, get yourself out there... It's going to suck at first, you'll make a lot of mistakes, but just like every skill in life, you need a decent amount of time of being crappy at it until you actually get the hang of it. (It's all about mentally surviving that crappy period) I wish you the best.

You don't need to be in a relationship to show your emotional availability, that is definitely something that can help you get into one.

@@LAKD Complete opposite from what I've seen. Mostly need to look good to get in a relationship. Then the other stuff matters somewhat to have a stable longer relationship

@@LAKD Being emotionally available to a person you are not in a relationship with is the fastest way to friendzone there is. Been there done that, never again.

Women just know that a lot of men aren’t emotionally available and are avoiding relationships altogether

@@LAKD Getting into a relationship and maintaining a relationship are two COMPLETELY SEPERATE abilities.

exactly

it doesn't matter how little power the average man has in socity it will always be his fault of all of societies problems even proems cuased by things he actively fought against and didn't belive in.

@@Dimitris_Balf So your entire existence is based on assuming that all males are toxic your entire comment history proves that beyond a shadow of doubt

There was a quote that said something like "To see who rules the world, just see who you aren't allowed to criticize". In this specific case here, this quote is quite correct. But I like to joke that, as per this quote, the ruling elites are fully comprised of women and racial/gender minorities.

@@creeperkingdom3190 yeah but it only matters if you care, who gives a duck?