Is Tinder Keeping You Single? 

Actually, "how to flirt/tell when someone's flirting" would actually be a good topic for a video. The concept baffles me, and I find it really hard to tell whether someone's flirting with me, or just being nice. I always feel creepy and gross when I try

I’m a chronic deleter and redownloader of dating apps, and the thing that always gets me unstuck from them is reminding myself that I’m not actually browsing choices of partners, but the illusion of choice. It’s all smoke and mirrors to get you to waste more time on these apps and to keep you spending more money to try and find someone. It’s predatory, unethical, and kinda disgusting that these apps are coded as such tbh-even though it’s what people want, hence their implementation. /rant

When Dr. K said "It's morbin time" I really felt that. Thanks for the advice as always 🙏🙏

“Successful relations aren’t about you finding the perfect partner, they’re about each of you becoming the perfect partner” Brother you deliver these wisdom bites so damn well

I'm gonna give you a "yes - but" on this one Dr. K. A massive problem with all dating apps is - they're a BUSINESS. When you swipe, what you're actually doing is training an algorithm to learn your preferences. I know engineers who work at these companies - after about 100 swipes (maybe fewer nowdays) the algorithm KNOWS which way you'll swipe on a profile. Moreover it knows which profiles will swipe on you. Lastly it knows profiles you'll swipe right on who will ALSO swipe right on you. But back to the flaw - I'm a business. Am I EVER going to serve you profiles that you'll swipe right on who will also swipe right on you if you're not paying? Hell no. I'm going to give you profiles you'll swipe on, and once in a while I'll throw you a lower matched profile that you might get a match on to keep that dopamine hit. This leaves people feeling like they suck and having no matches when really the biggest issue is - they're just not paying the...$30 a month or whatever for the "ultra platinum". These apps are designed to make you feel like you suck so you have to pay them.

When dating becomes a casino game then the house always wins

"Most of the people who get married are under 6 feet. What the hell is going on?" They aren't meeting on Tinder.

I never set sail into online dating, but seeing as I'm 23 and still single, online dating has been on my mind lately because there just don't seem to be any places where a person like me could meet a potential partner. Soon enough I will graduate, but what gives? What can I do after my studies are over and most of the people are already paired up? To top it all off, online dating in my country isn't even that widespread, or so I believe, because there aren't many apps which are supported here. Regardless, I will watch this video to maybe help me decide if i want to even step into this world or not. Thank you for the content, as always.

I've never needed Tinder to be single, thank you very much!

Pfffff, I don't need an app to keep me single. Iam an adult and can do that myself!!!

I feel like a Prada bag being sold at the flea market when I get on Tinder.

Dated a girl for six months and she kept saying my social skills are horrible and often hurt her feelings with words ( unintentionally). At the end I made a decision to break up with her. If I'm that bad then let me end the relationship. Later on my therapist told me that I should just try to communicate more with other people without the intention of finding a partner. By doing that I can practice my social skills.

I had 2 relationship from tinder and both ended up with cheating ... I still think that these apps are way too superficial and whenever the "honey moon" phase ends , they just move onto the next "best thing" , promoting the idea that there's always something better waiting instead of growing together

The problem isn't the actual date, it's that most men on Tinder or other dating apps don't get any, at all. So there's not even a chance to be yourself or any of the things he's saying. The reason why men focus on self improvement is not for women to stick around, but to barely get a chance to have a single date.

Being secure with who you are is so important. If you are insecure about yourself, it shows. The other person will find that unattractive.

Agree with some points and disagree with some other points. I've been using online dating for about 10 years (have used Tinder and Grindr amongst a bunch of others) and have literally used Tinder since the first version and have seen the meta evolve over time. From my perspective, the unfortunate truth is that physical characteristics are what matters the most when using the app. People will just straight up swipe left/right on your profile based on the first picture so you really only have like 0.5 seconds to make an impression. The communication aspect only really comes into play when you have a successful match (and most people won't even engage in conversation even after matching). Another insidious thing about dating apps is that it gives the illusion of "plenty of fish in the sea" which is why people keep coming back. But in reality, I've noticed that I end up matching and chatting with the same pool of people regardless of what app I use because this subset of people are those we both have mutual attraction to each other (mostly based on physical characteristics). TLDR: my view is that physical characteristics is important as it gives you more options and gets your foot in the door. Then the rest is then up to interpersonal skills and compatibility of values

I never get matches so don’t even get a chance to communicate with anyone.

Interesting. I've used dating apps for about 4 years and stopped now, for various reasons. I've had about ~50 dates (maybe more, I can't remember all of them) and the most common pattern was: match, get excited, meet up, find out there's no chemistry, nothing in common, different communication style etc. go separate ways. Most of the time it was mutual, sometimes I saw some potential and tried going for a second date but ended up getting ghosted. And yes, I realize that most people never even get that many dates out of them. But to me it seems like these apps are a shot in the dark, cause you never know who you will really meet. And no, even voice messages and video calls don't change that. It might even be fair to say that dating apps are worse than cold approach since you at least get an in person first impression of someone, but cold approach is also still one of the worst ways to meet a potential partner, according to statistics. So that leaves us with the conventional stuff

This one hit close to home... Great resource. I was in the camp feeling like something was wrong with me and people were ***holes too. Thank you.

Communication would be nice...If I could get even a single match in the first place 🙃 That aside, this video provides some excellent insight about the differences between measurable metrics and metrics that actually matter to the outcome. 🙏

One thing people don’t take into account is that if you were to meet someone organically irl vs on a dating app, you’d probably be more likely to date them if you met them irl. So while dating apps are fun to scroll on, it’s always better to try to meet people in person.

I like the idea that I don’t have to be perfect or a finished product to try dating. I don’t expect that of the other person, and I love watching them develop and get better and happier as a person, but I always expect that I need to be a finished product to be good enough for someone to be interested in me. Another pitfall is, yes, work on yourself, try to understand yourself and what you’d love in a partner and what you can offer one, but don’t let working on yourself be all you’re ever doing and you never actually try to meet someone. Also, there are some things that aren’t possible for you to learn about yourself outside of a relationship/social setting, so going on a date and forming a connection is part of working on yourself, not separate from it.

I understand that relationship success will greatly be influenced by my communication skill. However, when it comes to dating I can't even meet/match with people to practice said communication skill. I feel like Dr. K lost some perspective about the struggle to even get matches. For a lot of men even getting matches is difficult. I stopped online dating and pretty much dating as a whole when I would spend months worth of energy to get ghosted or people just giving 1 word answer from the get go. I know that if my pictures are better and if I make a better profile I might get more matches but at that point I just start to personnally become too self conscious and obsessive about every little thing and my personal hapiness goes to shit.

So what Im hearing is, I'm actually absolutely fucked

Haven't even watched the video yet. Just wanted to say that I love these videos. Every morning I watch them and they truly get me in the greatest headspace. Just a sick fucking pep-talk every morning. I have been getting my life together over the last little bit and you've definitely been apart of that process, Dr. K. THANK YOU.

The problem is with dating apps in the first place. The type of people it attracts are those who are constantly glued to their phone and addicted to instant gratification. This probably also plays a role in Tinder’s sprint towards sex - people want the physical pleasure of a relationship without the emotional work. Join a gym, church, club, intramural sports team, ANYTHING that is in person. Get away from the industrialization of the dating market; it’s disastrous for the mental health of everyone involved.

I dont even have the confidence to take a picture of myself to put on tinder lol. It's so scary putting yourself out in the world idk how people do it

I can understand that communication is key for successful relationships. However, what Dr K is missing is that many people struggle with getting their foot in the door in terms of attraction. And i also dont think these dating apps have the goal of relationships..more so short term dating haha

A very important subset of the communication thing, is conflict resolution. Both between each other, but also external problems as a team. VERY important.

So dating success is based on interactions. I'm not sure how helpful this is when I almost never get any matches (aka getting visually rejected), meaning there isn't even an opportunity for any interactions.

I shortly want to appreciate Dr. K for the amazing content he has been uploading recently. I unfortunately can't join his Twitch streams, but seeing his the regular uploads and older videos is a highlight of my day, and an immensely rewarding learning experience ! Thank you for everything

The issue is that dating apps play by different rules and do place a disproportionate weight on things like height, attractiveness, and status because women have way more options on these apps than men and they need to swipe right on you before you can use your communication skills. This is why I’d recommend most men just meet women out in real life.

"You think the world is terrible" >Implying it isn't

One thing that I've noticed a lot of people do is the "Once/If I have ___ then ___". "Once I become a Doctor then women will want me." "If I buy this Guitar then I will get all the chicks." "Once I can move out of my parent's house then I will have all the girls over." This feeling that this X factor is a magic key that will instantly solve the issue and X becomes the goal instead of what you actually want. Then you're confused and angry when you don't get X despite doing/getting what you THOUGHT was the magic key to it.

I've seen a couple of people in the comments say something to the effect of "but if I can't match on apps, how do I practice communication skills?" But watch out: Dr. K did not say "practice dating". You can practice communicating everywhere, both online and offline! In fact, you sort of can't help not practice communicating, because you gain xp whenever you have any sort of interaction with a human, and often even when you are just consuming media or watch other people interact in public. A simple fact is that everyone gets better at communicating as they get older. However, this does not mean that you can't take steps yourself to speed up practicing your communication skills. I can't really help here by giving an exact guide, but being open to self-reflection and allowing yourself to make mistakes does help. Also, you can practice communication _and_ increase your chances of meeting a potential partner by getting engaged in more activities. Volunteering, sports, or game clubs are examples where you can meet a lot of people, with the caveat that you shouldn't do those things with the goal of meeting someone on your mind all the time. Do the quest for the content, not for the randomized loot, and things will turn out fine.

As someone who has been (mostly) happily married for over ten years, I don’t know that a week ever goes by when I don’t feel genuine relief that I don’t have to date any more. Holy crap it’s wild how bad people are at communicating and critical assessment these days.

This was a “breakthrough moment” video for me. Dr. K put a significant problem in my life another way, and I got that “ah-ha” moment. Damn, I needed this advice ten years ago. 🥺

Vid: comes out 7 minutes ago People: yeah, I watched the whole video 3 times, here is my essay based on that video

I completely agree with these sentiments, however, I also believe it's difficult to improve on communication if your primary problem is getting enough matches to work on these skills.

Wow! This gave me new perspective. I mostly knew about this information already, but I haven't been able to piece it together with reality until now.

Just as Im feeling caught up in dating apps. Seriously the timing is almost always spot on.

It's just doesn't seem worth the effort when you have good pictures, and a bio that's actually funny, but you still struggle to get likes and matches. The way I see it, it's likely far easier to make connections and get to know people in person, as opposed to a dating app such as Tinder. As clichéd as it sounds, Tinder places a lot of importance on first impressions, on both sides. You somehow have to say everything about yourself in a number of characters. It's very different to striking up a conversation and getting to know someone organically, if you know what I mean. Tinder has basically turned dating into a popularity contest and a beauty pageant all into one. Bios of course matter, but when you put effort into your bio and images, it puts a huge dent in your self-worth, and frustrates you if it doesn't work. In an ideal world, Tinder would be perfect for meeting people, but psychologically, it doesn't seem very fit for purpose (for all genders).

The irony is that dating apps make more when you don't find a perfect match.

I don't need help when it comes to dating since I'm a very outgoing person who puts myself out there. However, I still learn so much and can self reflect on the things that I've learned to still become a better person than who I was yesterday. Dr. K is awesome and his incite is very appreciated.

my face is keeping me single lol

Did Dr. K just say Futa Male Can't wait for that to get used in one of the out of context remixes

I think the most important and easy to acknowledge part about dating apps is that dating apps have no interest in you keeping a long-term, healthy relationship. Quite the opposite, their goal is to make you spend as much money as possible on the app. If that means not even showing your profile to anybody in order to get you to buy Tinder Platinum or whatever, then that's what they'll do.

I love Dr K but I feel this video has been going in circles about an idea that was explained well in the first few minutes. People focus on external box checking stuff because they know how to do that, it's hard work but it's at least doable and has direction. Even after this video I have no clue how to work on flirting and communication skills as someone who's very socially anxious by default, and it's not like there are any non-toxic sources on how you can progress in these areas. Also, while superficial bullshit may not correlate with relationship success, it does correlate with matching/hooking up success rate, which is for many people the only thing they can hope to achieve from dating apps. Communication skills aren't gonna do shit for you if you can't ever match with someone in the first place.

I'm unemployed at the moment I'm getting more matches and sexual experiences than I ever had in the past when I was employed because I learned how to create a unique and funny profile, worked on my communication and flirting skills, and went to therapy so I could align everything with the belief that "I am worthy of finding what I want" at whatever stage of life I'm in. The truth with dating and relationships is that you dont need checkpoints or markers such as "getting fit" or "getting a respected job." All that matters is if you are open to learning, exploring, and can express yourself. THATS IT. All the online debates about the "science of attraction" or categories of males, etc is complete nonsense and a distraction keeping people from actually testing reality and challenging themselves to find what they want.

this was a REALLY good video from you dr. k :) thanks for uploading!

One thing that's good to know. Tinder for example makes you invisible if enough girls swipe left on you. My friend re-registered as bisexual to make guys swipe right on him so more straight girls can see his profile. This is really sad.. that's why I match with a few cute girls the first day then it goes downhill FAST.

This was an excellent video and I'd love to learn more about interpersonal skills!

As a medical student: No, it doesnt help when dating LMAO

I tried for months... it just ruined my already low self esteem and deleted it. Would rather die alone that use a dating app again

I dont even get interactions most of the time. I have had guys and girls say im a solid 7 or 8. And get barely any interactions attemps, and as a expariment swicthed my profiles to seekimg men and went from 2 - 3 matchs or likes a week to having 50 plus on each app i tried. I find women to have higher standards online vs in person. And for the most part dont struggle with convo's just small talk before getting a fun or passion driven topic.

The culture has focused so much on "measurables" like golden ratios, salaries, and jawlines instead of social/soft skills that you could elevate yourself VERY quickly in your life and career as you embrace the "friendly neighborhood therapist" persona that's in all of us. Some neurodivergent folks can "lift" in their social skills with proper guidance AND practice (not one or the other), but others will just focus on other things that give them satisfaction like hobbies and their career. Either way, I'm happy with their decision and I hope they lead themselves towards a good life even if that doesn't mean having the storybook ending we are all expected to pursue.

Love this title cause I met my fiance on tinder, haha. Although I will admit, I found success not by looking at profiles but looking at his picture, going "He's in a renfaire hat, we have common interests. So if there's no chemistry we'll still have something to talk about and I won't be bored for 2 hours." So I was focused in the conversation from the get go.

Ok Dr. k talk talked about WHAT makes a relationship successful, not HOW to get in to a relationship in the first place. And I think that is the question that most people are interested in. Also, we are specifically talking about dating apps here, which are inherently superficial. You can have "the best communicator" in your bio, but unless you don't have hot pics, or somehow convey that you have a lot of wealth, or good social status, you will not get matches. And this applies 10 fold to men. So having a good paying job, a good physique, and funny bio will definitely get you more matches, because that's what girls see. You cannot convey that you are good at communication in your profile. Which I understand is a flaw of the app. But that's the game we have to play.

I've found that speed dating can help sharpen skills related to interaction. It can be scary to try, but helps so much in working on soft skills. Also, it's low pressure and time limited; a lab to practice interaction against various random people. If it is offered in your city, highly recommended.

At the end of the day with dating apps you being single is the product

i can attest to that commute increase causing a huge strain in a relationship. good episode doc

Dr k always on point this is exactly what I needed at the right time of my life

Me: So how do I get into relationship? Doctor K. : That's the neat part, you don't.

I get everything you're saying about relationships and dating. I only use dating apps for one purpose: Getting a date to start the inter-personal interactions, because I do quite well from that point onwards. Where the apps fail me is the first step: Getting a match. I've been using dating websites and now apps for over 20 years and on average, I get one match a year. I get far more dates in bars and clubs by comparison. Oh... and my only criteria in dating apps that is hard is distance: Same city. I've experimented and discovered that faking my height is the only criteria that has an effect on my matches. Taller = more matches by orders of magnitude. This means I'm fighting the criteria filtering of women - which of course I have no control over.

You make a lot of good points but the sad fact of these apps is that if you can't beat women's filters you don't get to practice your social skills. I think it's understandable that people focus on these things because the probability of a relationship with someone you can never even match with will be always be zero. Honestly think at this point the healthiest thing for men to do is uninstall the app and wait for things to change.

Just wanted to say.. this video is packed with damn good advice!

This video comes off as an "entry level position, 10 years experience required" sorta deal. How do I get more interactions when women just ask you to stop talking to them the second you say hi to them? Like I agree with want you say here for sure, but when does the RNG align to where I can actually get to talk to a woman for more than a sentence?

Ok, so the factors that dating apps allow you to filter for aren't correlated to success in dating, but communication skills will. I have two questions. One, if you are constantly being filtered by those factors, many of which can't be acted on (can't help being short or a minority) how do you even get to the interaction, which is where your communication skills even enter the playing field? Two, how do you even practice communication skills if you're being filtered by everyone? Do you practice flirting with your friends?

Im lucky to have many friends who fit in the "criteria" of a succeeding in dating or not, and seeing that it doesn't actually matter. For example, I have a friend who EVERYONE thinks is SUPER hot, but he has trouble finding partners. That's because his communication skills are not as good as he might want them to be, and he doesn't act as himself, he tries to "play off" as being "cool". Another friend is 5'7 and doesn't look THAT amazing. however he just knows how to speak to people, he doesn't care what people think and is just himself. He always tells us about new dates on the apps and we're always amazed at how he does it.

One thing I've noticed in regards to dating in general is that when a relationship goes south, a bad breakup happens for example, it's mostly the man that's messed something up or made a mistake or could've done better. It's all on him if he's fucked up in some way. When women share breakup stories with others it's always "you were too good for him, he didn't deserve you" or "his loss, you're better off without him". When men share breakup stories it's mostly stuff like "well, did you listen to her needs? did you do x, y, z?" or "how did you come across, were you socially awkward, did you come across like a normal person, etc". I'm getting to the point where I'm starting to feel a tinge of bitterness at dating dynamics in general. I know that nothing will change in a 1000 years and things will always be like they are but it doesn't help the frustration from setting in. It is true that my early life experience was corrupted by pickup, dating coaches and reading loads of red pill material but I can't seem to get past that frustration zone. I can't be free.

I've never ended up with someone I met online. I've only ever dated people I happened across in person because we ended up getting to know each other and build a relationship before dating

Checking boxes is obviously important because on a dating app that is the only thing that influences whether you get to interact in the first place. For people with unchecked boxes and subpar facial bone structure this invalidates any possible advantage communication skills can give.

Some guy asked for stats from Tinder and over several years, I believe he had like one real date. If you can say hi and give a compliment to stranger and ask them if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend, you are way more likely to succeed. Plus, it’s healthy for your psyche and makes you grow. Tinder is like 2 days old pizza.

The biggest issue is I don’t have an environment to where people could hook me up with someone I don’t have friends that knows any women nor family who could present someone I have a men’s job I don’t have any social environment that could give opportunities. Cold approach are honestly weird,creepy and predatory Social media dating are just stats,height,fat,slim,muscular,money or career for shallow men and women There is probably almost nothing I could do unless I’m lucky and a women do the approach but that’s probably never happening lol

I whish more people would understand/know what you said in this video. most people today are just to superficial (i hope thats the correct term for people focusing on this kind of stuff) and they don't even realize that theses facts are not what matter in the long run in a real relationship. Btw. I`m not ranting out of despair (got very lucky to find someone that's an awesome partner for me). Also what you said in the end: Its really important to stick together when there are problems (also sometimes they might be to big and its better to break up), work on them and on your relationship and its get better and stronger over time. The better you understand the other person and the more you know that you can rely on your partner the stronger your bond becomes. Don't give up if first problems occur and look out for a "better match".

Do people really go on tinder looking for more than a one night stand? I thought it was basically set up for casual sex, hence swiping left or right based purely on someone's picture, i.e. their physical appearance.

While the points about needing good communication are spot on, it also feels like Dr. K has never used a dating app. Most apps do account for distance, and the default settings tend to match you to people closeby unless you go out of your way to change your settings. And the whole point about divorce being more likely if there's a 45 minute commute, how is that related to dating apps? Aside from a small portion of non-monogamous people, a married couple isn't going to be chatting over a dating app. And while I'd agree that the apps encourage people to get too picky about checking a bunch of unimportant boxes, there definately is some info that's good to share up front - if you're dreaming of building a family, then you'd obviously not click in the longterm with someone that doesn't want kids.

i suck at communication skils, but i really dont know how to improve them. and i genuinly feel it is more to it than "just get out more". i think luck is involved, to some degree

Men are becoming increasingly aware that dating apps are a major way that women find men to date, and that if you are being passed over on dating apps that is a major problem. That is common sense, and right it is a major problem. Ladies are making their selections on the apps based on height and good looks. We know this to be the case, it's a fact. That means that if you fail on the apps, then you have to find women in your immediate area or social circle to ask out. If you fail in your immediate area, then you have nowhere else to turn within reason. It's too much to go to say Japan for instance. So now what? You're single and your out of dating options. This self help guy is assuming that you have poor communication skills, a bad job, not fun to be around, in need of therapy, overweight, ect ect. Suppose your are not doing poorly in any of those areas? Now what? Well now he says basically it's a matter of time, but you don't know how long it will take. Time for reality. Since the dawn of man, a certain percentage of men have been passed over by women. That is a fact. We know this because we know how many men passed on their DNA versus how many women. The data shows that the number of mothers may have outnumbered fathers by around 100 to 30. That's the ratio. For every 100 women who became mothers, only 30 men became fathers. Let that sink in. That's a fact from our past. Many men, through no fault of their own, will not be able to attract a woman, and it's ALWAYS been that way. You might be one of the guys mother nature says "NO" to reproducing. Let me explain something. Women are the eyes of mother nature. With their eyes, like the mythical Medusa, they can turn a man to stone metaphorically. The can look upon your poor quality DNA and say no. Your DNA ends here. You will not have me. Practice self help all your want, but this problem for men is as old as time. I'm going to start a channel in the next couple of months to explain all of this in more detail.

I appreciate the time stamps :)

Im 31 now and without dating apps i might still be a lifelong singleton. I'm generally an introverted guy, i get along with people but dont like going out on a frequent basis. In my early 20's i even made the extra effort to do so, with "maybe i'll meet a girl" always in the back of my mind. I never really did, and even plucked up the very occasional courage to ask out bartenders and the regular coffee shop girl that often served me. Only a few rejections made me stop trying completely. I took the plunge into dating apps - which i was initially against as i thought my looks wouldnt carry me and guess what - they didn't, but its much easier to be persistent sending messages or swiping on an app, especially when i spend a lot time on my own. Eventually i met my first GF on there and since then i've only dated two girls who i met outside of the apps. My match rate on these things is still suuuper low, maybe 1/100 - and btw im 6'3 guys! So height clearly isnt everything, and even then most of the dates didnt go anywhere, but the ones that did go somewhere is when i didnt have to try, i spoke to them like i would with a colleague/friend i get along with male or female.

As someone who used to give dating advice and had great results using apps, I wish Dr. K had discussed different types of apps more. I think he was focused on the apps where you have to match first before any communication takes place. Tinder for example, promotes the surface level check box criteria because you have to do it just to talk with others. Luckily there are other apps where that's not the case. They aren't perfect but it's better than making decisions solely off of photos. Also, apps are just tools to meet up with new people, and shouldn't be thought of as more than that. It's easier to think of it in steps. First you make a match. Then you communicate with each other. Then you have to facilitate a meetup. That's where the app ends. It won't form a relationship for you. Maybe Dr. K's critique was the matching system, but he should have highlighted that more. I think some of the apps can be great tools if used properly: with an open mind and a lot of patience.

I’ve been in a successful relationship for 6 years now, and I’ve found that being with someone who is practically the exact opposite of you is much better if both sides are willing to listen and grow. Yin and Yang is a very real and far reaching concept. I had dated someone very similar to me for a while and we bugged the shit out of each other because we saw the things we didn’t like about ourselves in each other.

only thing i'm not willing to compromise are 'don't want kids' and 'looking for short time relationship/fun' people as we're searching for completely different things in life imo

A few issues: You focus on the quality of the relationship. The thing is that a lot of people don't focus on relationship quality, they just want the most attractive person possible (if they're even thinking of long term relationships at all). Meeting checkbox requirements is still important because of the above, so you need those things to get your foot in the door (for an example if you're

the morbius references really helped me understand, thank you

The primary function of Tinder is that Tinder's entire business model is built on you staying longer on the app and purchasing their services. Tinder doesn't make money if you meet someone and leave the app."

I don’t know why, but Dr. K always talks about the stuff that is in my head right now. 2 weeks ago i started online dating again and boom! Here is a video about it. Anyways thats for talking about that Dr. K!

I mostly agree with what you’ve said about the filters- filters should be used as a “dealbreakers filter” rather than a “preference filter” E.g. it is actually a dealbreaker for someone to hold particular political views. This obviously isn’t and shouldn’t be a dealbreaker for everyone, but I know it is for me. However height and age is mostly a preference not a dealbreaker, and I found a very successful relationship by expanding just one year up from my “preference”! That said, expanding in the other direction would be a dealbreaker..

Personality and conversational skills only come in once you've made a good first impression w/ your profile. so the number of times we get to bat are limited. luckily I've been honing my blade of conversational skills since i was 8. so now I'm focused on creating a good caption, learning how to dress nice, and taking good pictures, when it comes to the app. i really do see tinder/bumble as a game. like a loot box. people are very fickle, so you have to be a lil jaded to really play the game effectively, only untill you get a conversation going.

How can you practice if not actually ask girls out? But isn’t it immoral and defeat the purpose when you ask girl out just to practice?

THIS IS REALLY HARD TO UNLEARN!!!!

Wow, that was awesome video, I'll try to change my perception of dating, after that

I had a lot of trouble dating because I had no idea why anyone would want to date me. I always get really suspicious when people talk to me because I assume they want something from me or are trying some scam. It took me a long time to believe that someone would just... like being around me.

The paper was not just cherry picking; it was cherry picking in an apple tree. There can be a branch from a cherry tree going between some apple tree branches, but it doesn't count in the apple harvest.

Brilliant as always

I really think about trying Tinder lately. I will keep your video in my mind ❤️

I am keeping myself single pretty well without the dating apps causing trouble. I have tried to use them multiple times to see if anything would ever work, but I don't think it's even been any help. I did meet one woman that, although we dated for a few months, I decided we should just be friends since I didn't want to risk making her upset by going the next step after having heard about terrible things that had happened in her past. I have met a few other women but everything ended up being ghosting, and that has been for the past seven years of my life. I've never had dates any other way at all.

not watching morbius is a boundary that I am not willing to compromise in anyway

But in online dating, to get to "the interaction" phase to use our communication skills, we still first have to have someone respond. And they're responding to what they see in our profile. So we're back to square one. Can't force them to respond.