THE SCAM OF ANTI-AGING 

Thank you Helix for sponsoring! Visit helixsleep.com/minale to get up to $200 off your Helix mattress, plus two free pillows. Hibernating for the winter on my new Helix mattress 🐻 #helixsleep

my mom is 57 and has no wrinkles in her face. people often comment about it with her and ask if she's had any plastic surgery and etc. the reality is that she's had depression her whole life and rarely ever smiled or showed any emotion. whenever people comment on how awesome it is, she says it's not, it's tragic. wrinkles are your body's way of showing the world that you feel things intensely, and in the end that's what matters in life, isn't it?

As a woman I realised my fear of looking old wasn't out of Vanity but out of the knowledge of how society treats older women. I didn't want to suddenly become invisible, to be regarded as a outcast. I also realised that for many women putting great amount of effort into thier appearances out of survival , they don't want to be pushed out of society.

Once a 99-year old woman told me that ”You wouldn't even be able to imagine what this body has been able to do and endure for the past 99 years. The thing I could least care is my looks. But I do love a good red lipstick!”

Ageism is something that needs to be talked about more seriously. Why is the society treating our elderly so poorly when at the end of the day, we all end up old?

its funny because when you are young you are pushed to look older and more sophisticated and when you are old you are told you need to look vibrant and youthful. so basically the narrative is always changing to make you feel inadequate..

I think its very unhealthy pushing all these anti-aging everywhere. The younger people will think when they get older they won't be considered "beautiful ". Also feel like when you get older you wont find love or even be worthy of love.

My friend is dying of cancer at 37. Whatever marketing tells you, it’s a privilege to get older.

I turned 42 a couple months ago. I realized one morning while getting ready for work that no matter what I do, it’s wrong. If I color my hair, I’m trying too hard. If I don’t dye it, I’ve given up. If I wear makeup I’m fake. If I don’t wear makeup, I’be let myself go. But whose standards are these? They are literally made up arbitrary beliefs we’ve all bought into. So I quit caring. Mini skirts with tights for winter? Yes. Makeup? if I want to. Dying my hair? Absolutely… if I want to. And maybe it’s a natural color and maybe it’s purple. I didn’t die when I turned 40, why should I act like it. I’m going to wear what I want and look how I want and the people who have a problem with that, are the people with the problem. I am not the problem.

One thing I love about the goth community is that you see people up into their 60s and 70s at the club, wearing whatever the fuck they want, wearing black lipstick on their proudly wrinkled faces, rocking hair that's either naturally silver or dyed fun colors like purple and green, just enjoying life. Some are happily married, some are going more the "Blanche Deveroux" route, some are just there to enjoy the music, and it's great to see. While online, the goth scene may seem very young, thin, and paper-white, what I've seen near me at shows is much more diverse on all fronts, especially regarding age. Hanging out with aging punks and goths has totally changed my perspective on things.

The industry has a serious obsession with womens’ age. We constantly see old men dating all these young girls. Ariana posted one picture where she looked a little older in the photo and the comments swarmed in about her looking “ill”. Aging is literally normal and human? Are we not humans now? Well I guess women have always been objects for people to judge from the outside. Constantly seeing women who look so young in the media has really changed the way people see women even more. Why do we treat women as if the minute they hit 30 they’re trash. Even when they are older, the celebrities that stay relevant tend to STILL look young. Since that’s all we see we start to think it’s abnormal to age while nobody bats an a eye when men age. It’s so weird and its just another dumb standard for women used to poison the minds of women to rack in money from the consumerism. It really pisses me off how many things the patriarchy nitpicks just to make us all feel so insecure to the point we are willing to go as far as possible to prove ourselves. Nothing is ever perfect enough. We will never truly love ourselves like this. I feel so bad for the young girls growing up with social media now.

i’ve seen LOTS of sunscreen pushers recently. sunscreen use is great, but i hate how they’ll preach “it’s to prevent cancer!” then in the comments when people say “no i’m not applying sunscreen when i’m inside that’s too much for me” their insult back will ALWAYS be “well when you’re a wrinkly old aged woman don’t blame me” like i thought this was about preventing cancer 🤨. they’ll use sun damage as a *see we aren’t against women aging and looking older* then the second someone disagrees they drop their real reasoning.

It's sad how much racism is still prevalent in the medical industry. I am biracial Nordic and Arabic and I had an ER doctor tell my mother, when I was 16, that I was faking my period pain. He said ethnic women don't really feel pain so because of my Arabic heritage I wouldn't have pain like that. Turns out I have endometriosis and it's horrifically painful. I'm 34 now and decided to see a dermatologist just because I never have. The first one I went to I saw only once. He told me it was shocking I still looked young and I should feel lucky to be mixed because my Nordic genetics will help me look younger as ethnic women age faster.... what the actual hell. Both those doctors are apparently time travelers from the 1800's.

I hate how we simultaniously love "youth" and shame older women for natural signs of aging AND shame teenagers and young adults for natural signs of their youth and puberty like acne. We shame older women for being infertile AND shame pregnant and post-pardum mothers for signs of having had children like stretch marks, weight gain, sagging breast tissue and hair loss. You very literally cannot have it both ways.

I never understood what's so shameful about aging. It means you've survived everything life has thrown at you. YOU LIVED LONG ENOUGH TO GET STUFF LIKE WRINKLES. A lot of people don't.

I think the annoying thing about the Julia Fox video for me is that 1. She still equates aging with ugliness and 2. Why must something be "hot" to be valid/respected? I don't care if aging is "in" or "hot." My hope is that I will age happily and still be respected and valued by others regardless of whether I age gracefully or not. Idk it's just weird that even when people are trying to be body positive there's still an obsession with attractiveness, with being looked up to or desired, when I think the main concern should be acceptance.

I’m in my 20’s and my roomate is in her 80’s and honestly it’s the perfect match! I get to live in the city with low rent and she has someone in case of an emergency or just for company. We get along so well and I hope rooming college age kids and elders together becomes more common as it really is an ideal solution to two growing problems.

Another point to add is that Hollywood often casts women in their 20s to play roles meant for people in their 30s and older (example Jennifer Lawrence in Joy). I think that also contributes to people having a warped sense of what aging is "supossed" to look like.

I'm chronically ill and have almost died multiple times, so I didn't expect to still be here. So cosmetic signs of aging are a pleasant surprise for me 😊

Anti-aging should primarily be about health- feeling young and functional in your 70s, 80s, 90s+. Looking as good as you can is a bonus.

I've seen people say someone looked good for their age when they were barely 30. Usually, it is teens online who have grown up in a society that has taught us that 30 is this mystical barrier where you suddenly turn to boring grey dust, of course.

Most of my family is over 60 now. My grandma is 92 this year. Most of them are fairly healthy, but some have faced serious health issues that come with aging. All I have to say is that the scary part of aging isn't losing beauty, but losing strength, mobility, health, and autonomy.

This needs to be talked about more. So many celebrities are lying to their fans about their filler and surgeries.

Leena Norms' video essay explaining why Mamma Mia is revolutionary in its joyful, silly, fun depiction of single middle aged women is both heartfelt and analytical and I highly recommend it to viewers who need to see a more positive depiction to cheer them up, and to reinforce the idea that the way we view older women is not normal and remind ourselves that our current way we see older women doesn't have to be normalised in the way it so often is.

In The Hunger Games, the rich, upper class Capitol has most of it’s citizens have done so many cosmetic procedures that they’re considered monsters by the poorer people. They could be instantly recognized by there inhuman perfection. The tributes (who were chosen from the lower classes) were practically forced to use copious amount of make up and do a bunch of cosmetic procedures without their consent. This book just gets more and more real as time passes huh

I've always looked younger than my age literally JUST because I'm short and have a round face. That's it. And the number of people who, since I was in HIGH SCHOOL have told me things like "you'll appreciate it when you're older" or acted like it was a compliment is actually so beyond insulting. Looking younger isn't a good thing, being infantilized isn't a good thing, people refusing to take you seriously isn't a good thing just because youth is considered more attractive. Not only is it "Why is youth considered more attractive" its also "Why is being considered attractive supposed to outweigh the many downsides of people refusing to see or treat me like a grown woman?"

something that also needs to be addressed is the gate keeping of youth. I feel like I can’t partake in the events that I enjoy doing bc it’s a space for young people. Like people constantly make it a mandatory norm that when you’re 30+ you can’t party or dance bc it’s weird and that’s something exclusive for young people. You’re just supposed to go to work and come home and rest and for fun you go do sedentary activities with people of your age group. Like why does my life and wardrobe have to turn boring all of a sudden bc society will look down on me for “trying to be young” when I’m just trying to have fun?

I'm 32. I worked with a bunch of 19-22 year Olds and I got "omg sis you look so good for a 30 year old." And I was silently really offended.

Hey, thanks for this video. I’m a 42 year old woman who, I must admit, is mourning her younger, pretty and skinny self. In the span of two years, I’ve gotten obese, older looking, and , and I’m sorry about the wording but for a lack of a better word, uglier. Yes, I have definitely lost my looks. I was always praised for looking younger than my actual age, sometimes even like a decade younger, and all of a sudden I started looking my age. Also my body is not as strong as before, I’ve had three injuries on my legs in less than a year, which has left me unable to exercise hence the obesity. I also suffer from mental illness and medication that’s been life saving has also made me gain tons of weight, that I can’t shred due to the aforementioned inability to exercise. What’s my point? That if I think rationally, I know I’m being too hard on myself, that aging is a normal process and also there have been tons of factors into this “loss of looks”, and not because of neglecting my self-care. After been praised for years, all of a sudden I’m no longer desirable and that hurts. Yes, it’s a shallow way of thinking, but I just can’t help it, and this situation is really overwhelming. That youthful self was my identity. Now I feel like I’m a different person, both physically and emotionally. Does this ever go away? Will I ever realize that my worth is more than my looks? That I’m smart, outgoing, a good friend, hardworking etc. But why is that all I can think of are my looks? I hate feeling like this but we are so immersed into this cult of youth and beauty, that we become borderline blind and can’t see the big picture. Thanks to anyone who read this, I just needed to vent

It’s frustrating how genetics are disregarded when it comes to aging. I’ve had forehead lines and eyebrow lines since I was a teenager, so I guess I should have started preventitive botox in the womb.

I'm so glad Mina is talking about this, the number of teenagers who talk as though everyone has one foot in the grave at the ripe age of 25 makes me sad. I spent most of my early 20s being a miserable mess lol. To anyone younger, please don't think that period must be the peak of your life or else it is "wasted", time keeps moving forward and things do get better as you take that time to work through things!

I'm currently watching a Canadian series, 'Anne with an E' and one of the things that struck me most was how honest they were about Marilla's aging. She had the wrinkles, eye bags smile lines that one would expect from a 60-70 year old woman, and I shouldn't have been surprised but I was. I've grown accustomed to seeing the smooth foreheads and wrinkle-less faces of celebrities old enough to be my parents and grandparents and in that moment of surprise I felt sad that seeing actual aging on a woman felt so strange. Because it is inevitable for everyone. She looked...real. Like a person I knew but forgot. We need to normalize aging. It doesn't have to be sexy. It's a natural progression of life. It is people that died young that never aged, which is tragic. We should all feel glad to reach our golden years and beyond.

The idea of "rich women never aging" really reminds me of a sales film about "modern kitchen design" from the late 1940's. One of the major selling points made to the husband to get a new kitchen was "you don't want your lovely young wife to wear out and age before her time."

I’ve recently turned 21 and ever since I’ve just developed a fear of aging. I’ve just seen a huge influx of people talking about women’s value going down with age. It’s scary because people make it seem like life stops after 29 and it doesn’t! I hope the next generation of women don’t feel this pressure because it actually takes away from you enjoy everything in life

It's in times like these that medias like The Golden Girls and Grace and Frankie are mpre important than ever, since they push back against society trying to erase and minimize older women; they show that it's okay to grow old, and you can do it in your own way 😄

I’m from Latin America and it’s no secret we’re deeply influenced by American marketing, so all throughout the video I could recognize many of those “ageism” beliefs within my own culture. I wanted to share something though, I live in Spain now and one of the things that surprised me the most is that when you go out for drinks, dancing or any other nighttime activities it is pretty common to see a lot of older people having a blast. Like it was the first time for me to witness something like this, and it really got me thinking how our brains are kind of wired to believe that having fun and else ends when you’re old. Dude it’s a lie, you can be 60 or 70 or more and lit have an active s-x life and be part of clubbing culture. I think Europe, or at least Spain’s take on ageing is a little different

I had a friend who would cry every year on her birthday from 21 onward until she became married and pregnant at 29. Then, she finally felt at peace on that birthday. She called herself “old” every year! Sadly, there can be so much cultural/societal pressure placed on women to marry and have children.

As a great tweet I saw once said: aging is not even half as scary as what's going on with those who try to avoid it

I’m 20 and already insecure about “fine lines” on my forehead. I’m able to nip the insecurity in the bud and I just use SPF and moisturize, but what kind of world do we live in where people feel like their value largely comes from their looks? I hate it.

There's a wonderful book in French called "Sorcières, la puissance invaincue des femmes" (Witches, the unbroken power of women) which has nothing to do with magic ^^ but talks in depth about the "unwanted" women of our society, notably the old woman. It's heartbreaking. I wish for more compassion for the elderly in general, as we will all get there (and if we don't, it's actually worse, because it means we've died an early death)... Also I'm 31 and I've never feared the appearance of age... but I'm terrified of the problems that come when the body doesn't work well anymore. Chronic pain. Memory loss. Just functioning too slowly, not grasping things. Not being able to do the things that are important to me. THAT's scary - not wrinkles.

I stopped wearing makeup when I was 28 outside of formal events and job interviews. I didn't like how uncomfortable I felt without it on. My husband's job moved us across the country and I decided to stop since nobody knew what I looked like with makeup on. It's the best decision I've ever made and saves me so much time and money. I'll be 34 in a few weeks and I'm pregnant with my first child. I was really at peace with looking older as I age.... It wasn't until we started trying to conceive that I realized 35 was considered geriatric pregnancy. The realization that I'm closer to menopause than puberty shook me more than looking older.

Was recently standing in line at a store and overheard a mother praising her teen daughter for buying retinol serum, claiming that if she uses it now, she won't be stuck "fixing" her skin later like her mother. Not only have they guilted older women into blaming themselves for not "preventing" natural aging, but now those women are passing that fear down to their daughters

i grew up with 3 generations of women. My grandmother, mother and older sister. They loved themselves in each step and we loved each other's features. I could have felt selfconscious or bad about my big cheeks if only my grandmother didnt say i looked like my grandfather's sister, who she described as an incredibly beautiful and kind person. I saw my mother, whilst trying to lose weight and be healthy, love her belly fat because i loved to lay on it as a child because it was soft, so she felt a bad hating the belly her baby loved. I saw my sister, an incredibly confident and amazing girl herself, rock acne and other growing marks that should have made her ugly but couldnt because she didnt hide them, she tried to treat her skin but never once have i heard her say she was ugly. My incredibly curly hair is lovely because it looked like my grandmothers when she was young, and i know i will have her beautifull white locks that she loves because i said they looked beautiful and shiny like the moon's reflection on water. All these women have scars, be it because of growth, surgery or the work they've done throughout their lifes, the work of caring for others. They made me who i am, and i love myself and my body for it. Im not scared of growing old because i know i will look like them. I feel that if only every little girl grew surrounded by women who loved each other and each other's features and bodies as a whole, the world would be a more beautiful place.

My grandma said, that every wrinkle on your face is a sign you laughed. And that grey hair is stardust on our heads. I don’t mind getting older and I will never get any procedures done. I just put a cream on my face, because of dry skin 🤷🏻‍♀️

I absolutely hate that the 'not taking care of your skin ' sentiment is so prevalent. I've always tried to do the best I can with the little money I have, but all I can do with my limited income is prevent my skin from drying out. It's always been sensitive and I've always looked older than I am, I consider skincare a luxury I can only ever afford in tiny increments. Healthy skin is due to a mix of genetic luck and financial security and the judgement on people who don't achieve youthful perfection is honestly way more upsetting than whatever whining people do who feel judged for indulging in expensive skincare. I don't care if someone gets these treatments, but the complaints I've seen from some of them pisses me off, because guess what! People who can't afford these things are judged much more harshly!

Thank you for this! As a 52 year old lady who has accepted that I am now basically invisible in Society (your loss Society), I absolutely went through a mourning period for my younger self because it really did feel like The Most Important Part Of Me was gone forever. Back in the 90s, during the supermodel times, I spent so much effort and focus on my appearance because I received positive reinforcement from every direction to do so and fully underestimated all of my other important qualities in the process. With the loss of my youth came the ability to see my inner strengths, and I'm now able to flex "muscles" I had been ignoring for so many years. Doing my best to age fiercely!

Anti-aging marketing makes my blood boil. I had a friend die at sixteen, and I remember this very uncomfortable pseudo-comfort people would offer that she was so young and beautiful and would always be remembered that way. Growing up when she could not is a privilege and I am not going to accept being expected to feel ashamed for continuing to live when so many don't get to

I'm in college, so I'm almost always surrounded by 18-23 year olds. One of my friends started college at 16, so she's already younger than most of the people she's around. She called herself old the other day and I was literally left speechless. Our societal view of aging is so skewed that a 16 year old who's two years ahead of the majority of her peers can truly view herself as old without hesitation.

need more films with aged, honest heroines who do unexpected things

Aging is a privilege many will never experience! Embrace it! We will all die (unfortunately). If you want to age well, use sunscreen and tretinoin. No matter what JLo says, olive oil will not make anybody look like her - a lot of treatments and procedures will. Edit: just saw the last few minutes of the video. I must say that DeFino is pretty badly regarded in the beauty journalism space. She doesn't deal in facts and pushes a lot of disinformation. She's also known for misinterpreting studies because she doesn't have the expertise to understand them. And for all that's worth, she doesn't even have any education related to journalism. Every dermatologist worth its salt will tell you that tretinoin is the gold standard in anti-aging skincare. And studies show it actually doesn't make you more sensitive to the sun in the long term (it does for the first 3 months).

My nan always says “you’re not getting old, you get to be old”. And I think that’s really beautiful. I’ve gotten Botox since I was 17 but it’s because I have terrible TMJD so I literally only get it in my jaw so I can you know eat. Personally I hate having to get it, it’s expensive, it’s painful and, it’s tiring. For me my doctor says I can’t lay down for at least 8 hours after I get it just to be safe. As a child I saw my mum and nan never worry about aging, they never died their hair or worried about their wrinkles they just live life and let their bodies age. I think that, that was very good for me to see as a kid because I’ve never worried about aging. Sure I have my skin care routines and I take care of my hair and body. But I know that one day the greys will come, my face will show all the times I’ve smiled or laughed, my body won’t be the same looks wise or functionally. And that’s okay because I’m lucky that I get to age.

As my mom gets older (she's only 46), I try to constantly remind her she is beautiful. No matter if she points out her gray hair, a wrinkle on her face, or how she feels she's reaching the end of her "youthfulness," I try to always let her know aging is a wonderful thing and I'd never look at her any differently.

When you see 15 yr olds begin to use anti aging products and worrying about looking old, you know something is SERIOUSLY wrong with society.

it's always ''you look so beautiful for your age'' and never ''you look so beautiful because you just are''

Thanks to my mom and grand mother as examples during my youth I was never worried about getting older. These ladies showed so much confidence in themselves and how they looked, it always inspired me to just do and wear whatever I liked ☺️ Their confidence always made them look cool and beautiful to me. Both were always very much also in the camp of «aging is a gift denied to many» and would always enthusiastically celebrate their birthday and would loudly announce their age 🥳 Showing me and my siblings that getting older was something to be celebrated, not feared. Now I am nearly 40 and I must say I have never felt so confident in my own skin, style and looks 😌 Quite liberating actually.

I'm 24, and i already feel like I'm falling behind and not doing enough to look young. The pressure is insane and it's carzy how much it happens subconsciously.

I recently turned 29 and looking back at pictures of myself at 24-25, it's like I almost wish to have my old self back. In a way, I do, but with everything I've been through and everything I've learned there's a reason why I aged the way that I did. I've got grey hair now, a wrinkle on my forehead, and my body feels all the crap I've been through in the last 4 years. I've gone through grief, loss, giving birth, hardships, a pandemic...it's crazy to even expect my face or body to stay the same as that 24 year old non-functioning adult child with zero responsibility. Do I miss my old life and self? Sure. But I have things, people, and knowledge in my life that I only prayed for back when I was 24-25. I'm tired of always feeling incompetent at every stage of my life. I'm a mom now that gave birth during the pandemic. I've gained 100lbs in 2.5 years and have so far dropped 43lbs in 1.5 years. My style changed. My skin changed. Everything changes and matures and I feel like we should just take care of our bodies in each current state and age.

Also, the way sunscreen is pushed so hard so suddenly is really interesting to me. Sunscreen is great at protecting your skin, keeping you safe from skin cancer, and preventing pre-existing damage from getting worse. But I feel like the main reason sunscreen is touted as being so important now, is because it can slow down you getting wrinkles. newsflash, wrinkles are not ugly, and aging is beautiful! I just hate the shame-y way people use sunscreen in social media.

Thank you for bringing up "same face" phenomenon. I have taken quite a few live figure drawing classes and I get SO BORED with smooth skin, typical features, round and symmetrical limbs. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE if you have wrinkles, folds, asymmetry, or anything unconventional in your features VOLUNTEER AS A MODEL IN A LOCAL STUDIO CLASS!!! You will make artists so happy to work with different bodies. Confidence is great and all, but often confidence in beauty stems from falling within pretty privilege. "Beauty" begins to feel so narrow and limiting after you draw your fourth young, slim, "draw me like one of your french girls" model.

It’s actually such a privilege to age. I was in a car crash that flipped over five times when I was 25. It was a miracle that neither me nor the other person in the car were injured, but that and another scare forced me to really think about those things. But with each sign of aging that you get as you grow older, remember that there are many who didn’t get to make it to that point. You gain wisdom and experience each year, and there is so much more to life than fitting into the mold of youth and “beauty.” And as you grow older, if someone stops loving you for what you look like, then did that person who loved you for your youth truly love you, or did they only see you as an object? That’s not real love anyways. I believe love comes from within yourself, and there’s also friendship and family love.

As someone who is disabled and has already lost my immediate family I am TERRIFED of getting older. I am in my early 30s now and I'm so scared about what my already breaking body will do to me in the future and how I will handle that. I found a grey hair recently and it made me surprisingly emotional. Not because I care about my hair but because it was a reminder I am aging and its coming faster than I realize.

As someone who worked in the skincare clinical industry its annoying to see celebrities promote gimmicky products that can make your concerns worse Edit: Something the public doesn't realize is that these big brands we see that are supposedly "trustworthy" pay dermatologists and doctors to say their products are good (you would be shocked at what brands do this). Thankfully I'm in a position where I can say no to things like that but essentially it's still based on influencer marketing. What I do is-as any person in dermatology should- do a deep thorough dive on brands. Not a quick Google search, but a deep dive into how the brand operates. I'm personally a fan of the brands Versed, Biotherm and Bioderma. Although Neutrogena is good, here's a hint; they use the tactics listed above. If any of these appeal to your interest, please do your own research on it to verify what I'm saying (also if you find they actually use "dermatologist influencer" tactics please reply and let me know, just because I haven't seen anything negative doesn't mean there's not something there.) And for those if you who are actually interested in keeping the integrity of the skin and preventing damage for longer; use a sunscreen. Vitamin C and Retinol(vitamin a). Use a moisturizer. Wash your face once a day, preferably at night, preferably with a gentle cleanser. And check with a dermatologist to see if this type of routine is right for you. Bottom line because I rambled a lot; aging is a natural part of life that a lot of people don't get to live through. Celebrities are using procedures of which most of us never even have access to. Do your own research and stop buying into this sudden trend of using olive oil, over-priced seaweed or any kardashian line on your skin. Your skin and bank will thank you.

I work for Medicare and boy howdy does the thought of not being supported when I’m older stress me out. Like beauty aside, you hit the nail on the head when you said so many elderly people need much more help then they’re currently getting. Call your grandma and say hi to your elderly neighbor, anything. I’m on my knees begging you to interact with the elderly in any positive way, it can make so much of a difference to them AND the way you feel about aging

It happened to me. At 30 I found out over coffee with my friends that ALL OF THEM get regular procedures, incl my coworkers! I was so shocked and they'd just assumed I had too as "everyone does it". I fully support them but I'm shocked that all those early 30s girls got work when I never even considered it! Now I started questioning myself if I should look younger or if I look older than them, while at the same time trying to tell myself "who cares!? I'm allowed to look my age"

I was about twenty-seven or eight talking with a girlfriend over at her house. Talking about general observations of life, ''now that we were older.'' my friend's mother had just stop by to say ''hi'' and heard us talking. Her mother was about forty-eight at the time. She joined the conversation, by telling us, wait till you become ''invisible'' that's how you know your old. When you start to show signs of aging. Men stop noticing, seeing you. That's how a woman becomes ''invisible.'' so she better have developed self-confidence and an active life before she totally disappears.

When my mom was approaching the end of her 30s, she started talking more about how she just hoped she could pass the age that her mom was when she had died (39 years old). I was only 18 or so at that time, but it resonated with me. It still does even more now that I’m officially in my mid-20s. Aging is natural and not everyone has the honor of experiencing it.

As Naomi Wolf puts it in 'The Beauty Myth': age is experience, experience is knowledge, and knowledge is power. And that's the one thing society doesn't want women to have. I always keep that in the back of my mind ;)

"giving everyone a little bit of grace with how they are handling societal constructs" Beautifully stated ❤

As women of color my mom, grand moms and aunts got old without fighting it. They were/are amazing women who loved and were loved regardless of age, body sags, fat, grey hair or wrinkles. My mom wore makeup 5-10x a year. I feel lucky that I had a “age happens” mother as a role model. I’m not immune to marketing and societal pressures but I’m so grateful I get to age.

The way I called in sick from work and stayed home from school to sob when I got my first silver hair at 19 😭 My teenage brain had me convinced I was an aging hag with not much time left. Although not much time has passed between then, I’m in my twenties now and cannot wait for my hair to turn full on silver, or at the very least heavily pepper. Aging is beautiful. I’m only sorry it took my prefrontal cortex developing to realize it. But hey, another benefit of aging!

Thank you for the subtitles, Mina. It’s not only helpful for the hearing impaired, but also for viewers watching this video while taking a dump in the library’s public toilet

I have dark hair and started getting white strands from the top of my head in my mid-twenties. It shocked me at first, but I remembered my mom dying her hair for decades to hide her transitioning hair. It was a hassle for her, every month, and the end result was really damaged hair. So, I'm deciding not to dye or temporarily hide these strands. As many mentioned in the comments, I fear people labeling me as I "let myself go" when I'm just enjoying my ever-changing life! I will continue to embrace my hair and hope this inspires others that it's not something you should feel like hiding. To everyone, best of luck out there!

You know in the reverse. I am 28 and I often get mistaken for being either a teenager or early 20s especially if I am not wearing make-up and I know many of my friends in our late 20s and early 30s who keep getting mistaken for late teens or younger adults. When I say I'm 28 theres always this shock that comes after like OMG I would have never thought. None of my direct circle have any procedures. This is just what people in and around their 30s look like. Like what did you expect? That by the time we are 30 we should shrivel up into nothingness? The expectation that someone in their late 20s or 30s should look old is so strange to me.

I just turned 30 a few days ago and my existential crisis is real. Do I even matter in society if I’m not in my 20’s. Society has done a number on how I personally view aging so thanks for talking about this.

the anti-aging thing honestly bleeds into my every day life in a way that goes past beauty. I'm 19, in the college of my dreams studying something I love, have average grades, and still feel deeply anxious and suicidal because I feel like I'm wasting my youth. It's like I'm late to everything. I'm not pretty enough like how other people on socmed look after they turned 17 or 18. I feel like I'm a year or a semester too late from joining college organizations (a really essential part of the experience in my country). Sometimes I just have to slap myself back to reality and being reminded that I'm still fucking 19 :/

The more I age the happier I am. When I look back at my younger self I cringe. I have learned so much and continue to grow in life and that is beautiful.

I will never forget my friend who chose to congratulate me for getting married under 30. I was literally wtf. I got married because I was close to finishing my degree, my then fiance was finishing his postdoc and it just was a right time. Me turning 30 the following year had nothing to do with it... eh, those fake milestones we set for ourselves. Just because we have ten fingers we decided that each time the Earth orbits the sun 10 times something must change...

We need to bring more awareness to this problem. Anytime you’re ageist, you’re being ageist towards your future self too

Hi, I am a fan of yours from the Netherlands! Loneliness is quite a big issue in the Netherlands among elderly, as we are a highly individualistic country, with the focus on a goverment who needs to take care of us, instead of family and surroundings. Through creative ways we try to combat this. I know through someone who lives in one of these elderly/students mixed houses, it is a very nice project in my opinion.

I’m 13 and terrified of the world I’ll grow up in, the world I’m already grow up in. About a year ago I went through this whole working out, limiting food, sucking in belly phase and I remember considering plastic surgery and wanting a boob job. I was like 11-12. The thought is so so scary, that this is the world that we live in where small children centre their lives around looking different to fit unachievable beauty standards, it’s so so sick. I’m 13 years old and already feel like I should’ve done something with my life. Youth ends at 20, 30 is when the time to stop having fun and have everything worked out, your life is about your partner or your kids and after 40 your life is basically over so you better have done everything. I really really hope to see things change or at least to have more people talk about this, make it a well known discussion because I’m so scared of how the world will develop, the pressures everyone will be under. Sorry for the word vomit, take care of yourselves ❤️❤️

As someone who has lost a lot of friends at a young age, I can tell you that aging is a privilege.

Thank you for talking about the price, for once!! The financial burden of beauty is not talked about enough. I personally have spent an unfathomable amount of money on makeup, nails, skincare, haircuts, hair colour, botox, filler etc. And I'm pretty low key looking. It is so inflated.

Its always sad that people think that once women reach a certain age they are less desire able, that aging is evil and if you look older than 30, you are unattractive.

I’m 61 and I love being older! It’s not about looks it’s about confidence!

I don’t know if it’s because I’m still young(27), but I’ve never feared getting older. I don’t think older women look “bad.” I’ve always thought aging was beautiful. My mom turns 60 next year, and though she has wrinkles and “looks her age,” she’s still beautiful to me, as is my grandma. I have SEVERE body dysmorphia, though. I hate how I look. So maybe once I get older I’ll obsess over it, like I obsess over my body and weight and the large pores on my face and the widening bald spot on my scalp and my nose that I hate more and more every day. I’m working on loving myself, but it’s so hard. I’ve struggled my entire life. I just hope once I’m older I’ll feel more confident in myself. I can’t wait to be past my 20’s, honestly.

“Her neck was smooth as a rose, with eyes blue… as a rose”

This is a really good topic that needs more open discussion. Aging can be beautiful. Why is it that in so many movies older men, with wrinkles, grey hair are portrayed in such a more positive light than women? We could learn a lot from cultures that highly respect the older motherly figure in their family.

As an esthetician I struggle with this topic almost every day 😅 I try to approach my clients with what THEY want to focus on and to keep the integrity of their skin in mind but a lot of my clients come in already insecure 😢 I feel like I’m leaving a good impact tho bc I try to remind them that skin is alive and an organ and to worry more about cancer prevention and simplifying their routines towards anti inflammation and protection

I was discussing with my crush about how older people are more attractive. He then told me that only applied to man. Older woman is no longer considered hot. That stuck to me and made me so afraid of aging.

I used to work at an opthomology clinic which had patients of all ages and financial backgrounds. Ive always struggled to identify age in people and what I realized in working that job is I generally could tell how much younger or older someone would look than their age based on how good their insurance was. I think its already a class divide. There's already a very obvious visual beauty difference that even not on a superficial level has so much to do with ones ability to maintain health - and in doing so one can maintain youthful appearances even before having cosmetic procedures. The luxury of sleep, proper nutrition, time to exercise or a job that's not manual labour will make you look younger.

i’m unbelievably early and god am i glad that mina’s talking about this !!! i can’t believe 30’s the new 50 when it’s basically just the age where you start to get your life together lmao

Thank you! I've always been bothered by the "unproblematic people age better". I know some people will mean it as a joke but others definitely believe it to be true and it's just more punishment for those who don't age according to our already unrealistic and unfair beauty standards.

Retinols and tretinoins are actually proven collagen boosters. Which helps skin firmness…making a person look “younger”. They’re not aging irritants as you stated in the end.

"Giving everyone a little bit of grace for how they deal with social constructs" I think is a very important message that can be applied to so many things.

I like how you specified "victorian" cherubs, because biblical cherubs are actually terrifying

As an immune compromised person who still mostly isolates, I really appreciate when Creators still acknowledge the pandemic still rolls along around the world. Thanks.

I actually am currently working in one off those Dutch eldery care programs! Its called ‘Vooruit’ which translates to ‘Forward’. We get a ‘free’ appartement, for 10 hours off community service. Which include, cleaning streets with children. Giving cooking classes to children. But also coffeemornings with lonely elders. Cooking for elders. Its very valued, to both parties.

The way people claim certain older celebrities never age is a great pairing with this. They absolutely look like they've aged and have had work done. I never understood the disconnect with not seeing the celeb has aged and wonder if it's some sort of subconscious denial.

I researched this topic for my bachelors thesis and ageism is the weirdest discrimination to me because while usually no one will change sex, race, or religion (obviously there are rare exceptions so bare with me) everyone lucky enough to do so will eventually become old. So people who are younger now are actively discrimination on their future older selves. It also makes sense that young women (and men to some extent but lesser because they are usually desired for their ability to provide as well as be fertile) because young women are the ones who are able to conceive, which is the main biological desire for men to want the attention of a female. Biologically there is no advantage to be gained from pursuing an older (and thus infertile) woman. However I think as a society we should have realised that just because a person is no longer sexually attractive that doesn't mean they aren't entitled to be treated with respect and dignity, regardless of if they had children or not, and if they are visually attractive or not. And this seems to be what we humans struggle with, if we find someone ugly, for whatever reason, they are treated lesser, and this practice needs to go.

I worked for a popular “country club” like gym for 5 years and I was pressured to get Botox and other cosmetic procedures done by my older coworkers. I was 20. They told me that getting it done at a younger age would preserve my youth. And I would be more successful in the industry. It always really bothered me that they made it seem like my appearance affected my success within my career path and not my skills.