Indeed it was a good podcast. I subscribed a long time ago. But it's always best practice to ask viewers to subscribe. The number of subscribers influences how nice RU-vid is to you. (As you well know.) 😊
This podcast has helped me soooo much! I officiated my brother's wedding 2 days ago in front of 75 people (plus staff) on a beautiful rooftop terrace. I was super anxious but channeled those nerves into excitement like Mel has coached on previous streams. As the music began, I walked to the lectern in front of the processional and just thought to myself, "let's do this ... however it turns out!" LOL After a few minutes ALL of my nerves disappeared and it was truly exciting. I couldn't believe that I was speaking into a microphone officiating a wedding on a gorgeous evening!! Once the ceremony finished I was on a "high" from conquering my fears and challenging myself. Everyone (besides my family) thought that I was an actual wedding officiant, but I'm just a notary public in the state of Florida. If you are reading this and have the fear of something ... change your brain like Mel teaches and just go for it!! Excitement trumps fear.
I suffer with bad social anxiety. I am scared and nervous around people. It made me an agoraphobic for years. The slightest interaction even a quick good one even triggers my nerves. I tried everything. Been seeing a hypnotherapist for a year. So i hope this is something else I can add to my tools. 🙏🏻
Same here, it's the fear of dodgy stomach and stomach ache rather than the event itself ... I still force myself to do things tho and usually it's not as bad as you were thinking x
This worked for me to get over my fear of flying on a helicopter. Now it’s one of my favorite things to do! I was amazed how well it worked! I said over and over to myself I’m excited for this adventure!
Thanks Mel🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻listening to you everyday already inspired me. This episode of conquering fear is so important for me. I am already 59 Chinese woman living in Hong Kong with 3 adult girls and wanted to challenge myself to be confident when talking in public. Therefore I have joined the toastmaster club, it was my 1st time there last night. I was actually thinking to myself that may be this type of public speaking is not my style. I will definitely be nervous if I am going to participate, however after listening to this podcast I sort of change. May be I can use the method you taught us and try out next time. Of course, I am sure I will still be scared my head off, however I wanted to apply your method. So🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 thanks loads Mel, for the teaching plus the inspiration 🤗💗
Absolutely loved this episode. As a Women's Confidence Coach and NLP Master Practitioner, this resonated. Mental rehearsal, visualization and reframing. Such powerful tools!
Brilliant information on how your body physiologically reacts the same when you're in fear or state of excitement..light bulb moment for me! Need to try this when I'm anxiously awaiting results of medical tests.
Wow... this is amazing - I have super important exams coming up, and I have been worrying as the days progress and the exams are getting closer. I just tried this technique now - and IT IS A LIFE CHANGER! Thank you Mel. I will continue to use this :)
This was me for years, finally I did some research about flying and especially about turbulence , after understanding how and why things happen on a plane , I feel much more comfortable . My boyfriend is a retired pilot and he also explained to me how things work on the plane, this just gave me tons of comfort. Now that I know turbulence happens due to wind or I noticed it happens when you go into a cloud, really helped me to relax .
Mel, you have such an inspiring, calming, supportive energy. 💖 This was fabulous. I hope you can follow up after her trip & let us know how it went for her. ☺️
Thank you so much Mel for publishing such fantastic resources for us. I am such a nervous flyer and deeply connected with everything you and Cameron mentioned. I will apply all the steps you mention in this podcast when I will board my next flight and truly hope I will one day conquer this fear. Thank you again.
Thank you for sharing. Would love to try it soon! I have lots of fear such as stage fright, public speaking, feae of water, driving, rejection. However, the one thing I discovered in this journey is that once you try to start experiencing from the very small thing like starting learning how to swim, how to drive, apply for a public speaking, you will realize that we actually don't die to do so or they don't harm me. And checking statics were also helpful to me to think rationally. The key is continuous exposure and train your brain.
Once again lady, slam dunk. Every single new video I always read the title and think to myself "This one doesn't really pertain to me". And for every single video, not only do I need to hear it but the timing is usually dead on! You are amazing Mel, but I think it's because I'm just pretty messed up and have a lot of work to do. You keep telling us to Dream big, well you forgot to tell us that it's really damn scary when those really big dreams start trying to become realities. I feel like it's ridiculous to even say it out loud, but with the way the past couple of months have been going, I think it's already past something I can control anymore, lol. My big dream is to be you. Well, do what you used to do, but me. It's funny, one day you said in a video that there's plenty of room up here or something to that effect. I answered you right back and said I'm hurrying. Honestly, I cannot think of anything I'd rather do more. It's really life changing when you find your purpose! It's also extremely exciting, scary as hell, motivating, terrifying, but/and lots more! And yet again, you are dead on. It's not going to go away!!! It reminds me of looking for hearts in a way. But instead, it's the universe slamming things into my face! And all of them are just kind of like confirmations? It's hard to explain, but it's impossible to ignore! I do have one question. How do you stop thinking about every other person before you make a decision? Instead of thinking about yourself and your family and that's it, I keep making the wrong decisions and mostly to/for people that would NEVER let my feelings even phase them for a second. And they shouldn't, either should I, but in all the work I have been doing on myself, this one just keeps popping back up. I have lost so much in my life because I don't like to hurt others. Or, if the person who is hurting me has a family then I would take the hit (lost an amazing job illegally) because I thought it was better that I just try and find a new job than an entire family lose the only breadwinner with kids in college. The problem is, I didn't do anything wrong (besides not turn him in and just rolled over like a dead dog) AND, now MY FAMILY is depending on me. I not only have to figure something out very soon financially, but I also need to be an example for my 6 yo twin boys. That's where I am really missing the mark. Let's say that somebody offers you something and it's something that you don't know if you like or not but you're open-minded and willing to try anything. But, let's say that somebody else already had it in their minds that the thing being asked of me is theirs. So, let's pretend that I turned down whatever this hypothetical offer could be. Then, let's just pretend that it comes back around again, and I'm starting to realize that yeah I think I really am the right person. How do you get past caring that people are going to be really really angry with you? And I know it's not my issue it's theirs, but my issue is pretty obvious at this point I think. I don't want to wait for something so extreme that it forces a change. I just want to feel confident in my decision but want to be able to have confidence and not allow others to make me second guess my decision or possibly even sabotage the opportunity? If just stop caring what others think was is easy is that, I wouldn't have spent the time asking in a post on youtube, LOL
God Bless you #DrAdo on RU-vid keep on the good work you have been doing and thanks also for curing me off this disease you are truly a God sent towards humanity I appreciate you sir #DrAdo youtube.com/@drado8002
I can’t thank you enough for this episode. I am also afraid of flying and everything I heard you both say was exactly what I said or did prior to flying. I felt a sense of relief knowing I am not the only one. I live in Germany and my family and I will be flying to St. Lucia in December. With 6 months to my flight I was constantly thinking and feeling stressed about getting on the plane. I am plan to already practice the techniques you suggested now and on the day on my flight. Thank You!
What about having to go to a dentist to get a cavity fixed, having to take a sick dog to a vet or getting nervous for things you are not excited about? How would I reframe those situations?
Cam sounds just like me - nerves with many things and “defaulting” to nerves. Doctors, Dentist, Airports/Flying, large crowds, etc. will come up with some and work on them
The thing that I am terrified of is for my 22 yo son. Because of my ADHD I was not a calm mother. On top of that he was found to have rare recurrent tumors, hereditary pheochromocytomas, as a result of his condition (he's had 2 major surgeries and also has ADHD) and my lacking as a functional mother he has 4 months of work experience. He graduated HS but did not do well in college and is now looking for a job. He has such a great way with people, great typing skills, good sense of humor but is having difficulty finding a job. My stomach does flips when I think about it which is 95% of the time. 😢😢😢 I just tried reframing the situation to be excited for my son's future and picturing him with a job that he loves and is excited to go to work everyday. 😀😀😀 feeling better!! THANK YOU MEL!! 🤗🤗🤗
Mel, I love this technique and I will use it in many areas of my life - flying being one! What about the fear that something is going to happen to a loved one? i.e. When my kids go out at night or my husband is driving by himself 6 hours to see his dad. That fear paralizes me sometimes. The 5 second rules helps sometimes, but I'm constantly thinking of "what ifs" and it's exhausting and suck the joy! Help please!
I believe she said don’t overthink it and don’t add negative thoughts. Also stop adding matches to the fire. This was a few tips from Dr Kennedy visit in her podcast. I hope you feel better stay strong 💪
I find eft tapping helps, it really does, for anxiety and I try and think of things in short periods of time, like I'll read this magazine and half hour has passed then they bring the drinks and that passes another half an hour ....
God Bless you #DrAdo on RU-vid keep on the good work you have been doing and thanks also for curing me off this disease you are truly a God sent towards humanity I appreciate you sir #DrAdo youtube.com/@drado8002
I travel one week a month for 8 months and have been doing it for years (I’m 60 ) and the dread comes for months before every single time . I have ruined trips From in the USA to Sicily . The lingering effect is me with a sick stomach and dizziness while I’m away .. I completely get this . In 3 days I’m flying to Grenada .. I’ve been in my own head for a complete year .. I’m not done listening to this but I hope it works .
I am going to try this. I am terrified of breaking traction at high speeds while driving on winter roads. It has happened to me before. I have a trip coming up in December that was a gift from my daughter which requires the family to take a long 4 hour drive south on a notoriously dangerous highway. I am already super stressed about it.
Assuming you are not the driver, bring something to read. I hate highway driving too. Give yourself something to do. Don't stress the driver by your fears. Looking at the scenery helps too.
I use to be able to fly and really enjoyed it, then I had a bad car accident, I ended up with phobia’s. One phobia was fear of flying, o my I was like Cameron, I would get on a flight ✈️ I’d be shaking , crying uncontrollably, I was a wreck. Meditation from drs didn’t work , nor alcohol worked. I did a course called fear of flying, o my goodness it changed my life. And Mel everything you felt I did too, so scary. I learnt the 5 4 3 2 1 Rule My life changed. I really enjoyed this video, thank you Mel.
29:29 I'm telling you, right people who suffer from anxiety and panic attacks are THE most confident comfortable people is stress and chaotic situations because that what we handle best. Our brains have adapted to it it's when we are not in the danger zone we stress and cannot relax. We literally thrive in panic. My life has always been a drinks cart. This is why it pains me when I see young women going through what I've been through and I think "please grab life by the balls" while you still can x
@Britney Herrera I guess it's because alcohol has always been my social crutch. I've never been an alcoholic but used it throughout the years to self medicate me and help me to get through social events or help me to travel. Lots of people do this but not everyone questions their own motives or wants to improve themselves. Anxiety is OK having a drink is OK it's when your own happiness and life is affected by it all that it becomes an issue x
@N M It's a great analogy for the explanation you provided. I don't even want to think of mine right now. Facing reality, trying to better yourself, being present, Etc is extremely intense and this week actually this whole month has been a struggle to say the least. Hope you had a fantastic Thanksgiving!
My first plane ride was nothing for me to anchor with that would be positive. I was 13, and my dad had just passed. Fortunately, when I was about 7, a distant relative had came and we had a fast, choppy, terrifying to me ... boat ride. Starting out I was in a polite panic and dad noticed. He pulled me close and assured me, the boat wasn't going to crack apart it was too strong. Then said we wouldn't fall because the waves held us up, the choppiness was what made it fun. So flying away into an unknown, scary future, I was so sad I probably hoped the plane would go down. But lucky for me we did hit some turbulence and it seemed to scare my seatmate. I smiled and patted her hand. And said, it's okay...this boat can handle it. The air under us will keep us from falling, it's the choppy waters that make the ride fun! Yeah... pretty corny but it seemed my newfound smile, helped her. Or at least distracted her🙂 An odd reframing, but there wasn't anything at the end of the ride I had to be happy for. Deep sea fishing became fun later on, even when we hit a few rough seas, I'd think, wow...this is an adventure!! Great podcast, Mel!! We're having a lot more fears these days and less fun, thanks to an abused puppy on the other side of the world with clickbait...promising us a happy ending...that still the headlines leave us feeling icky. Do I get time sucked, or read it? Love the internet but social media can be a rollercoaster. From a friend's first grandchild, to another one with a friend's illness or worse a memorial!! Surfing the 'net, can be a bumpy ride and your podcast helps me remember, our joys can outweigh our sorrow but it's important to keep the chemicals our bodies produce, in balance. Philippians 4: 8 may sound sort of corny too, but when it falls in line with the Harvard Research and explaining the science, yay!! It's a win-win. ❤️🎀👠🌺🎶🍒❣️🌎👍
Great advice Mel💕makes perfect sense I love the science of it. So I am terrified of going to the doctors and hospitals and the paralysing ‘what if’s’. I’m struggling with a confidence anchor to grab onto. Anyone else and any ideas?
I would say it depends on what you are afraid of specifically. I would suggest you pick that specific thing and imagine a positive/exciting outcome, e.g. if you're afraid of receiving a diagnosis, imagine the doctor confirming that you are absolutely healthy. Or, if you already know that you have a certain health condition, imagine your doctor presenting you with a very promising treatment plan that will heal it or better the current situation significantly. Or, imagine what you will do, once your healthy has improved.
Thanks Julia for replying. My problem is making any health check - eye test, dentist, anything with no reason for concern It’s just crazy and . My mind spirals and goes into catastrophe mode with no reason at all. Im going to try this.i love that it’s science backed. Here’s hoping 🤞
I’m so excited to give this 5,4,3,2,1 moment an honest effort! I hope & pray this technique helps to decrease @ least some of the many anxiety symptoms that I unfortunately suffer from since I was a teenager! My panic attacks get so intense that I literally pass out then waking up to medical professionals digging their knuckles in my sternum! That’s the method my mom was taught to do when I pass out!! I know it’s crazy shit! I guess you can say “I lose my shit” LOL 😆
When I fly, the actual plane ride is fine. I'm terrified of the drive to the airport. Northern Virginia traffic freaks me out. I dread taking the wrong exit and will miss the flight.
Having worked for an airline more times than not that first class passenger who takes the 7am drink is an alcoholic. I found out that first class wasn’t an upgrade if you’re sitting next to the first class drunk.
If you want to be afraid, think of how many people you have to have faith in when you get behind the wheel of a car. Countless on meds, texting, you name it.
I like this idea, i will try use it. The only problem is how can i be excited about the thing I'm fearing when it's throwing up? its hard to find something exciting about it
Some recommended you so I listened and I have a question. You said that her fear of flying is actually a fear of dying and I wonder if that’s true. I don’t believe I have a fear of dying but I’ve been afraid to go work on my land because I’ve been watching all these bear videos of people being attacked/ killed by bears. I mean- they eat you alive and it’s not quick so is my “fear of being mauled and eaten by a bear” actually a fear of dying? A lot of people live. Anyway I used confidence anchoring to get me excited instead of afraid and I went today to work on my land (it’s very remote) and praise God I didn’t even see a bear.
I think I can use this to face some of the fears that I have but what about a bigger more complicated fear like the fear of investing your money in like the son in the Bible who buries his gold coin and misses out on creating wealth.
Minute 28 - No Mel, the drink cart is code for "start moving the airplane for the fun of it", haha! I think if they stopped serving drinks and food the plane will fly smoother.
😢 I’m feeling nervous/ anxious about saying good bye to my parents. They came to visit me for thanksgiving (here in the US). I started to get super nervous when I had to drive to work. I was nervous to crash while driving or to die alone. 😢 I don’t really feel my stomach acting weird but I get a headache and I feel my brain in fire. Also my hands sweet 😢
I get anxious when I want to give lengthy comment at a gathering. I wish I don't have that feeling at all. When I want to give a presentation at times, my tummy beats even when I am prepared.
I have the same question. Or what about if your trip to a place by airplane was for something that you were not looking forward to… like having to go see someone you don’t like? Perhaps we could imagine treating ourselves with something exciting after the doctor’s appointment or after visiting someone you didn’t like? I wonder if that’s how we creat the anchor thoughts??
I have one problem with that. If i imagine myself going out from this flight, seeing my sister - my brain goes in denial - yeah but what if. Yeah, but thats just wishing thinking - i wish i see myu sister, but plain can ALWAYS fall. How is it different from saying affirnations which you yourself wont believe in? I don't have any flight fears, but I'm having anxiety everytime i don't know how to do something in my job. I retreat to procrastination of course. I might want to imagine myself being a reliable source of help and information for coleeges and therefore get respect from others, I can imagine receiving bigger salary. But there comes thinking - no, noone will ever recognize my efforts. No, it's too much to learn, i will never know that much to be good at my job, im not smart enough, doesn't matter how much i study or focus. I recently got a raise, but its a third of what inflation did to the prices, so I have a lot of situations to back up my fears. So now here i am spiraling down. I really would appreciate an answer and advice how do you manage not to feel like an imposter while tryiong to correct my thinking. I guess only way to get around of this is thinking - "yeah i might fail, but what choice do i get? stop eating? stop paying bills?".
It's not irrational to tell people you love them before flying. They sell life insurance at airports. People aren't afraid of flying though, they're afraid of crashing. It's a problem for me, too. But i still fly. I just look at the statistics and try to relax. I get seats at the back (higher survivability), watch the instructions, look for the exits, assess what's between me and those doors, etc. The rest is pure trust in the equipment, computers, and pilots. At some point you have to let go or not fly. That's the choice.
