The Worst Dhar Mann Rip-off (ZVOID Studios) 

“Kid learns he can freeze time, what happens next will shock you” nothing else is happening next, he froze time

“Tiffany, I killed my parents. They’re dead. I took out all of their organs and stuffed them. I have taxidermy parents, Tiffany. I have stuffed parents, Tif. Tif, I have stuffed parental figures. I have a taxidermy patriarch and matriarch, Tifbo.”

Can we just look at the plot of this story? Kid's parents are getting divorced Kid finds out he can freeze time Kid invites friend over to play Among Us

freezing time is actually a decent metaphor for what it can feel like for a kid going through something like this. Everything around them feels like it stops, Obviously, not to THIS degree, but i can kind of see what they were going for.

This kid got super powers and his first instinct was to be like 'ayo tiffany, come over. I'll pop some corn and we can play among us.' Like zero interest in exploring these new found powers.

*boy freezes parents, eventually unfreezes them* parents: we’re getting a divorce boy: *starts giggling*

100% gonna start saying "peace out, boyscout" also really relieved that this didn't turn out to be one of those "parents get a divorce but then some minor inconvenience brings them back together" stories bc I really thought that was where it was going

If the mom is actually Eastern European, we eat mashed potatoes with cream and bacon sauce, just cream sauce, or certain type of sour cream/butter thing. Sauces options are endless 😁

I was confused when Jarvis didn't welcome me back to Jarvis Johnson Gold. Then I realized, I wasn't on the premium channel (which is free).

"We're getting a divorce" *kid laughs like a maniac* Can't say I recall my family's divorce going that smoothly.

I’ve been watching these Dhar Mann videos and I’ve realised something. These videos are meant to teach people to be kind. But the way they do is showing those who don’t suffer. This isn’t teaching people to be kind, they’re teaching people to be kind for prizes. If this is what the future generations are learning, we’re gonna have a big problem.

16:52 "Think about it Samantha... Tiffany... what's your name?" had me laughing way harder than it should have, like as if the kid moved on and had a whole other girl that all this happened with as well and this had happened so many times that the lines were blurring and he couldn't remember her name.

Mom, literally facing the child: “sorry didn’t see you there”

Boy refused to eat father's potatäs, instantly regrets it

Man...DIO’s origin story is WAAAAAAYYY more different than I thought it was...

“I wish I had super powers” Enyaba: your wish is my command *shoots arrow* Him: ZA WARUDOO

I love how Tiffany learned that her friend literally has superpowers and is more interested in the fact that his parents are getting a divorce

Kurtis, Danny, Drew, and now Jarvis, it must be the last day of the month Edit: also eddy, Cody, pyro, Nickisnotgreen, Michael Persad, Pancho, and Danny GAMEzalez

This dude DEFINITELY grows up to be a supervillain in that universe

This kid:pours pre made popcorn into a bowl. Also this kid: I will make meals, I made this delicious popcorn.

My dad: British London accent My mom: Filipino/south east Asian accent Me with an American accent watching the first 4 1/2 minutes: 😨

The little girl's hierarchy of needs is: 1. School field trips 2. Food 3. Hugs In that order.

"a loving environment" Honestly I'm not sure how I would taken own parents divorce if they did it this way instead of my dad just taking me and my siblings to Burger King.

"kid found out he can freeze time" it seems DIO has awakened

this actually happened to my buddy eric

Dharvis Johnson

10:50 are you telling me that you didn't know telemarketers are immune to time freezing? That's like the most basic fact that children learn

If he said "ZA WARUDO" instead of stop it would just be a JoJo reference

"We create short movies about life, business and relationships, and we hope you like them." that is such an adorably polite description I almost went and subscribed.

"Is this kid giving a monologue to himself" -Jarvis, speaking to his camera alone in his room

HOW THE FUCK DID SHE JUST CALM DOWN AFTER SHE WAS LITERALLY FROZEN? 😭 THE WAY SHE JUST “*Breathes* You need to stop-“ BRO I WOULD BE FUCKING SCREAMING? LIKE CAN YOU EVEN BREATHE DURING THAT? HELLO? SHE NEEDED TO CALL THE DAMN COPS💀 Can’t freeze a bullet going mad fast

Imagine this from the parents perspective, they’re sitting there and their son starts to yell stop but he’s cut off and just starts laughing.

This is literally if “my story animated” and “dhar Mann” had a baby

That moment when you found out you could freeze time LOL relatable

10:56 "hi, we've been trying to each you about your car's extended warranty."

Dio: so were the same type of ability…. (He stole jotaro line) The kid: ZA WARUDO

"I have a niche ability where I can tell when someone's gonna freeze time." Jarvis Johnson would've stopped Dio

Honestly the kid's reaction to he froze his parents, reminds me of the scene in Home Alone, where Kevin's just like: "I made my family disappear," and then he grows this evil smirk on his face.

5:47 "Dear, uh, Stan Lee!" I'm loving all these MCU things in here 😂

I remember I broke down a few times in my life when I just started begging out loud for my pain to stop. Could've implied that the boy was in immense pain, but the real question is why am I trying to see meaning in some badly acted video

Jarvis’ next video. “Trying mashed potatoes with 12 different common sauces.”

Someone please tell me there’s a video named “Person finds out they have electricity powers, what they do next will shock you”

“Is he giving a monologue to nobody right now?” The correct name is a soliloquy 😌 - me flexing the one the thing I remember from reading Shakespeare in high school.

the parents approaching their son as soon as he arrived home from school, especially when they placed their hands on his shoulders seemed like they were about to devour him.

“Dhar Mann I think you have some competition on Dhar hands” - Dad Joke Jarvis 2021

As goofy and poorly done as this is, I think an anthology series about kids get super powers bc they need therapy would be interesting

"Look at the delicious popcorn I made us" LOL The whole thing was gold. No wonder you liked this one lol

2:29 no no. it is rather shocking. The kid is actually a Japanese Highschooler, and he kills a vampire using this Time Stop, after the vampire made him angy, and also the vampire killed like 2 of his friends, and a dog, oh and almost his grandpa, but no more spoilers.

Jarvis: "Is this kid just giving a monologue to himself?" Me, who talks to myself all the time: "Is... is that not a normal thing to do?"

Okey, let's take a second to talk about the logistics of this. When he freezes a person, does he freeze them at a molecular level? Because, folks, imagine leaving your dad in your living room for a week, the lad's gonna start decomposing and stanking up the room. Even if we say that he's body is stopped and "preserved", what if a fly decides he's free real estate thus making his body a maggot Disneyland? Imagine unfreezing your dad after a month like that. Although, this ability would be great for operations as a substitute for anesthesia (maybe the blood flow is frozen too and you get no hemorrhage). Why? Why did end up thinking about this so much? I should be having lunch. Jarvis, I blame you T_T

10:23 Rapunzel vibes tbh 😫

as a kid with divorced parents, I can say this is exactly how it went

Time freezes, phone rings, "WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU ABOUT YOUR CAR'S EXTENDED WARRANTY."

“Kid can freeze time what happens next is shocking” How it should be: “Kid can freeze time what happens next is NOTHING”

theres something so cringe about kids trying to defend themselves with the same defense they used on you to defend you in an argument; "it just happened"

7:05 caption guy its hollandaise

Kurtis, Drew, Danny AND Jarvis in just one day? Is Christmas coming early or something

Neil: literally freezes his parents in time changing the entire way we have veiwed time and space time as a whole tiffany: oh cool

2021: **Dio emerges his soul to a kid**

Da kid that can freeze time Dio: has a limit how long he can do it Kid: p a t h e t i c

Jarvis: My superpower is predicting the script of this video Also Jarvis: *gets jumpscared every time british bootleg frozone screams*

When she asked who would be giving him hugs I half expected him to be like: I WILL! and the start hugging himself with intense eye contact

5:54 Funnily enough, I've always monologued at myself ever since I was a kid, so it doesn't register to me as weird in any way.

13:21 what happened next legitimately *did* shock you, Jarvis.

Jarvis I would have watched 20 minutes of you just nitpicking the sauce line

what happens nest is that he goes to Egypt and fights an old man and his Japanese grandson who can also freeze time.

“Kid learns he can control electricity, what happens next will shock you”

"I've got some forts to nite." Jarvis - 2021

My parents divorce was so messy that they didnt even sit to tell me. My dad just went “so...” and I immediately replied “yes I know”. Then we just sat in silence while eating sushi at a mall, pretty much frozen by awkwardness. Dare I say I managed to freeze mine by cutting off the convo before it even started. Very relatable 😁👍

with the kid hearing his parents when he tries to sleep, it's actually pretty easy to hear conversations when the walls are thin, like my house. I hear my parents talking all the time, even when they r whispering, you can even hear the lightest snoring through the walls...just wanted to say that it could be realistic lol.

Ok but like being able to freeze time is just giving you the ability to teleport as well, like you can tell ur friend "watch me teleport behind you in 3 2 1" And then you can stop time and walk right behind them like "HOW IN THE FU-"

I love how he is super desperate when he frozes Tiffany, all "please come back I can't lose you" but when it was his parents he was "oh that's sick "

When he asked Tiffany how she knew about the divorce, I instantly got Wandavision vibes with how Wanda asked Monica how she knew Pietro

4:39 this reminds me of multiple movies that CinemaSins had sinned bcuz of the 'parents argue(?) within earshot of child while they're trying to sleep' or something. like what happened in turning red.

11:30 I got so many flashbacks to spy kids. A person who can freeze time? His catchphrase is I have all the time in the world? Spy kids.

In high school I lived with my mom, who is from Poland, and her then boyfriend, who is from Mexico. I spoke like a SoCal skater for some reason and my sister wanted to be southern for some reason. We lived in Chicago.

Imagine he froze him parents for 40 years and when he unfroze his parents, his parents will just be surprised that he is now tall, drunk, and has a beard or something

You can tell the difference of the 2 channels by the font and dhar mann usually has a fundraiser. You can also look at the actor in the thumbnail because dhar mann and zvoid use different actors

I make garlic, sage, cheese mashed potatoes. (Usually parmigiana and/or Pecorino Romano, and 2 or three other cheeses, I switch it up. Butter and a bit of sour cream usually go in as well.

Plot twist: They weren't getting divorced but putting the kid up for adoption

Boy: *Has an Eastern European accent that is slightly different from the mum’s* Jarvis: Why does he sound British? Me, a Brit: ???

They're cheating, you're not supposed to be in the same room playing among us together. We need to report their accounts.

It seemed like when he brought the popcorn out it was gonna be a “I really wish you hadn’t seen that” moment

were his parents conscious when he froze them?? Cause they responded to things he said before he unfroze them. That's horrifying lol

"Stop banging those damn drums!" "Oh I'm sorry I just thought it went good with your story."

When “the world” stand is inspirational

My favorite thing to put on my mash potatoes is what ever I marinated my meat in because if I’m eating it with beef stew I’ll mix it together

Naturally I would assume after finding out he has time freezing powers he would move to Egypt, become a bisexual vampire and then piss off a japanese highschooler.

I'm not very good at recognising accents, but the kid is definitely not English. I think he just has a much softer version of the mum's accent.

Honestly it seems very realistic for a kid to have the most random concerns like that, for if their parent was freezed

2:25 I fully expected him to say: "kid can freeze time, what happens next will shock you?? Well, he froze time so I don't think time will progress...nothing happens next"

I could not stop laughing "Question 1: Who is going to sign permissions slips? Question 2: Who will give the hugs?"

Dhar Mann: Anti-Vaxxer Karen mocks people with masks, ending will shock you! Drunk Dhar Mann: Woman commits suicide, LIVES to regret it.

I think what might make these videos more palatable is the addition of an element like super powers takes the whole thing out of realism so the instantaneous lesson learned is more realistic feeling by comparison. I don’t think the lesson here is any more realistic. A young child saw the error of his ways because of one warning from a friend, then right after he admits what he’s most scared of he unfreezes his parents for them to say that very thing isn’t true and won’t ever happen, and because they said it he instantly is cool with the divorce and believes they’ll stay a family. Sure there’s no guy at the end doubling down on the message and patting himself on the back but the “lesson” is just as inaccurately portrayed.

I love how they kept using !!!!! when they were practically whispering

Jarvis: I don’t need to see Also Jarvis: **proceeds to squint at his moniter**

I was betting on them saying he's adopted. Would explain all the accents

Honestly the kid freezing time is like when they did it in the Netflix show 'Misfits'. some chick would start hyperventilating and suddenly everyone around her freezes. it was basically only when she was pissed off.

open pit barbecue sauce is REALLY good on mashed potatoes, but also everything else.

“is he giving a monologue to nobody right now” it’s a soliloquy bestie