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Attraction isn’t a choice. Either you’re attracted to someone or you aren’t. If you aren’t, best to walk. Be honest but do it tactfully. Physical attraction is the hook, personality reels you in & good character keeps you there.
This was beautifully worded. I am saving this in case I am made to justify or explain myself with regard to my preference for marriage. I've tried to explain before but couldn't put it as simply and eloquently as you have.
Hey guys! I’m a convert and break my fast alone. So every day I play one of your videos when eating iftar and makes me feel better. Thanks for your honesty and for keeping true to yourselves 🙏🏻💓🙏🏻💓🙏🏻💓🙏🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻
Physical attraction is important. There is nothing wrong with admitting that. It may not be the most important criterion, however, some people have to be attracted to something physically about their potential partners for them to want to take the relationship beyond friendship.
end it. If you are not attracted to him after marriage you will be disgusted. Imagine kissing him and having sex...you will feel gross. I didn't like my husband's pictures when I first saw him but after I met him in person I was attracted to him. And his personality is so sweet and I really started to like him more.
Masha Allah! I love how y’all grew together over the years. I remember watching your initial videos back in the day and over time, it’s incredible to watch how comfortable y’all became with each other and to see you grow & change over the years. All for the better. May Allah (SWT) continue to bless your marriage.
Personally I thought it sounds like from the way you wrote the email that you don't want to be with him and he isn't the one. Doesn't matter if he meets all the other requirements. If something is missing then don't settle... Especially if you are going to marry someone. That is a big commitment to make on the hope that you might be attracted to him in the future. And it sounds like attraction is an important thing for you 😊 not necessarily a shallow thing. Anyway you know your relationship better than us. Just have to see if you love him, are attracted to him etc. And consider if you are going through a phase of self sabotaging your relationship but I don't feel this is the case. All the best
Even if the person ticks all the other boxes, if you’re not attracted to your potential partner then this can cause problems. Physical attraction can be quite important as ofcourse you are going to be intimate with your partner. If it has been 6 months and you are still not attracted then it’s probably best to end it. Also it’s also not fair on the other person. P.S for everyone trying to get to know a potential, try not to delay face to face meeting. Talking on the phone or msgs is completely different to actually talking face to face. The amount of stories i have heard of people no longer being attracted after meeting face to face (months after only talking on the phone)
Physical attraction is not everything BUT it is vital. I dated someone almost for 2 years, great guy, we had so much fun together but overtime the lack of attraction I had for him was hard to ignore. Save yourself and this person the heartache and just cut it off
This was the cutest, sweetest interaction and conversation you guys have shared online m'A. Really nice to watch and get a jokey insight on how you met and made it to here
That’s was a good story about you guys times. Made me smile. Just get to know him and wait if you still feel the same then just move on There’s not just 1 guy in the world there’s loads better
Nothing to do with the topic but I just wanted Dina & Sid to know that even my Mum loves listening to you guys. When you guys stopped posting she would occasionally say, “Have Sid & Dina posted anything new?”. It’s so cute. 🤣
But Dina no joke, you'd be a good fitness instructor! I can see you being a great instructor but you'd also have a unique opportunity if you'd want to pursue a specific niche of clients, like muslim women looking to get fit for example.
If ur having to find an excuse not to talk to him, girl end it. PERIODTTT Cuz lemme tell you, the most attraction you have towards someone is when you meet them, or in the earlier stages of the relationship. However attraction and infatuation just lessens with time it doesnt grow. Move on find someone your crazy about. Ive had attraction with people even when I was just talking to them. So dont think you have to be intimate with someone to be attracted. Cuz if ur not attracted to his personality, theres no point.
Physical attraction is very important and it’s why the prophet pbuh told us to look at each other before marriage (roqya). Like Sid and Dina said, if anything was going to “grow” it would’ve happened in those 6 months. I personally wasn’t head over heels with my husband at first but I did find him good looking and I loved everything else about him (his deen) I prayed istikhara and Alhamdulillah 12 yrs of marriage and I adore him 🤍 but we also spoke a lot in the beginning and had a friendship which is very important
I had a fun ride listening to this 😄 loved the throw backs 👏🏼 and I do agree on starting off with friendship first, it does help see the other person in a different light and helps the attraction grow.
Allahuma barik I had a smile on my face watching you guys talking about your getting to know each other phase, it reminded me of my own experience with my hub 🥺. In terms of this girl’s situ I would say she needs to sit and have a convo with him in person 1 on 1, preferably in her parents house so there’s no haramness, maybe in the garden where they can still be seen by a wali if necessary. This would help her to sense if there’s any chemistry between them and to see if the convo flows naturally. It might even be necessary to do this more than once so the initial awkwardness and nerves can wear off a bit.
If she’s not attracted to him at all then she should tell him and drop him. But if this is because she doesn’t find him physically attractive and from that she just can’t be bothered to get to know him then I advise her to meet him in a different setting and give it a change while also making it clear to him. We tend to give people we are more attracted to more chances because being attracted to them MAKES you want to like them. While not being attracted to them in the physical sense kinda makes you not bother as much. If he’s a good man and you see no problem with him other than that it wouldn’t hurt to try. Attraction changes, it’s not always constant or physical and it’s not always what we think it is. I’m sure it has happened to everyone when you’ve seen a physically attractive man/woman but their attitude or their facial expression or even their interaction with someone makes them almost repulsive. Or on the other hand someone who is average looking but is extremely good at something and is passionate with something and they suddenly become attractive and confident. It’s a personal matter to be honest. Only you know how you feel, just don’t make a decision out of “I want to get married and he’s a safe option” he is also a person who deserves honesty and transparency, and if things don’t work out in the long run you will resent him and constantly remind him that you “settled for less”.
This shows how smart Sid is because he considers every factor whereas Dina is just hyperfocused on "6 months" and that there's no attraction from a phone call. First of all, sometimes marriage DOES make you fall more in love with a person - even after seeing their worst sides. Second of all, Sid is right. The amount of exposure you have to the person matters more than how long you've been talking on the phone. Seeing them in person, in action, at their jobs, whatever makes a HUGE difference. Attraction can grow.
😆😆😆 Dina reminds me of my lil’girl, every few seconds ‘tell me, why, how, when, how do I do that, tell me, tell me, tell me’ 😁 love it. So on edge and eager.
I think that you can have chemistry before attraction for sure, for example if you get along really well with someone in a friendship or in a work space. Chemistry is the roots of attraction and then that attraction can grow, because you have chemistry and you click, you begin to fancy them physically. But if you don't even have chemistry, then attraction has not roots from which to grow.
This reminds me of a situation of my own, I really liked that the guy I was talking to was crazy about me and always willing to make me happy, but his face reminded me a lot of my mother and I can't imagine laying down with someone that reminds me of someone I'm related to, i just can't 💀. I stopped talking to him abruptly. I never told him the truth 😔. I hope I didn't hurt his feelings.
Listening to your story reminds me of how simple it was back then!! No ridiculous expectations and literally so genuine! Lots of love! Early Eid Mubarak 🥰
If the spark is not there, then it is not there. I'd say diplomatically end it and move on. To work as a team, you need to enjoy communicating with each other - banter etc matters, physical attraction matters too. If it ain't there, it doesn't mean he's a bad person, it just means he's not the one. Unfair to him as well as you to commit to a marriage when you already know that you find him boring and unattractive. I'm with Dina on this, six months is long enough to know for sure that the attraction is non-existent.
From the way she described it in the email there seems to be very little emotional, physical, and intellectual attraction. The attraction will not come at all. I think Sid was right when he said she needs to find what she is attracted to. Also if you’re over 25 years old you have to see someone face to face AND do not be afraid of physical attraction (regardless of cultural and religious beliefs). If you do not know if your physically attracted to your partner, then the marriage will have a very high chance of not working out.
When I first met my husband for the first time I was like wow whats up with that big forehead and those bushy eyebrows?!! Like it was immediately no! Then we talked and I wasn’t attracted and went home thinking even if he doesn’t contact me I’ll be fine. He contacted me the next day because he was really into me. After a few days I just got bored and decided to meet him again. I don’t know what happened on our next meeting but I started to develop feelings for him and it grew little by little and we got engaged 1,5 year later. He was and still is such a gentleman and cares about family, so that’s what attracted me first.
Girl if you reading the comments .. listen to me when I tell you HE IS NOT THE ONE DONT SELL YOURSELF SHORT TAKE IT FROM A OLD LADY THATS BEEN AROUND GOD LOVES YOU AND UNTILL THE LORD BRINGS YOU SOMEONE THAT LOVED YOU LIKE GOD LOVES YOU DONT SETTLE ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I wouldn’t say she’s selling herself short, women should stop belittling men. The other way around there would be some cancellation taking place. The girl is just not attracted to him and is basically using him. There needs to be some self reflection taking place cuz that’s really not ok
I literally never comment but I absolutely loved this video .. you guys are soooo cute together mashAllah and I pray Allah continues to bless your marriage and give u everlasting love Mashallah
If she is not physically attractive to him and it’s a bother how she is gonna continue like this and it’s gonna be big bother if she marry him … it’s not advisable that u marry a person on the condition that u have the intention of changing them it’s important u find some what qualities in them that u admire prevents adultry in the long run and lowering your gaze/desires
Sid is so right u can not be attracted to someone if u r just talking on the phone or just texting. Living and meeting with someone in person is a lot more different. Some people are not phone people they don't like texting or talking on the phone thats why they sound very boring but in real they are very fun to be around.
Heck no once you’re living together attraction even goes down and after a while it goes away little by little so if you’re not attracted now there’s no way it’s gonna come later BUT at least if you had good conversations and chemistry but you guys don’t have either so I would say no, ladies don’t be so desperate to get married
Omw this question felt like the person hacked my brain/recent experience. Ultimately I decided to tell the person I do not see a relationship with them and can only offer friendship...we haven't really spoken since which is understandable.
I absolutely loveeee u guys. Love ur advice. Realistic and straight to the point. I love how u touched on how u met, u guys definitely are made for each other may Allah swt continue to shower his love and blessings into u guys and continue to bless more years of togetherness. Honestly when I see u guys each other and ur banter and ur honesty with each other i want to have that with my future partner in sha Allah. On that note love love u guys stay safe and stay strong as always. 😘😘😘😘
