My boyfriend after dating 18mths said he wanted a break as he thought he might just love me as a friend and nothing more. I told him if he wanted a break that was fine, but I would see it as a break up. I said he wouldn't be able to contact me again as I didn't see him as just a friend, so it would be best to just go our seperate ways. It was so hard for me to do, inside I was dying but we agreed amicably and broke contact. Three months later he phoned me in absolute tears telling me that he had missed me so much every day and knew he couldn't live without me. We got married that year and have been married 15 years now with 3 kids. Sometimes you have to let someone go to really know if it's meant to be. Hope this helps someone.
It's just what most girls use to ease the emotional feeling of really breaking up hoping they can go back when they're feeling better about it all. Most dudes will just straight up tell them they're done or just become distant because they don't want to hurt the girl and string her along.
A break gives them the opportunity to try and estimate how much success they'd have if they dated other people, and having the safety to get back to the relationship if they realise they can't do any better than their current partner 🤷🏻♀️ it may not be a conscious plan for most people but that's what I've observed !
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I really like the message of valuing your time. No matter if there’s still a part of you that’s hopeful to be together again, but remind yourself the fact that this person isn’t willing to be a team player then they’re not right for you even if everything else about this person is perfect. Thanks Matthew 💕
@@grumpyschnauzer I'm so glad you have found someone who appreciates you, I'm so glad your happy with this new guy. Thank you for sharing. My friends stay in relationships with guys just because they have invested so much time into them rather than because he loves and respects my friends. Sorry for the rant
My husband said this to me... I’m now with a guy who tells me how much he appreciates having me in his life... as a matter of fact he is humming a tune as we sit next to each other relaxing... I think he is happy 😊 and that makes my heart happy.
Ellie Lane Thank you! It took a decade to take the leap of faith so it can take time before any of your friends get there. For me I the alternative was better than waiting. I still love him but I finally get how to love myself first and do life instead of waiting on the sidelines as it passes by.
@@grumpyschnauzer Awe I'm so happy for you and I'm glad your leap of faith worked out and you were brave enough to take a chance. I wish you a happy future with your new guy 😊
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I think there are two kinds of breaks we are talking about here. One is: “I want some space and distance, we will see each other less often so I can focus on work/friends/figuring out my own identity issues... But we remain committed and still make big decisions together as a team. I am not interested in pursuing other options during this time. “ I think this is actually necessary in a relationship sometimes, and I have done this in the past. And second is: “I have doubts about this relationship and want to see how life is without the other person, or I simply want to sleep with other people. “ Then that’s not a good reason and should just lead to a breakup.
I feel like people have slightly different definitions of the word "break." For the first meaning that you gave, some people don't consider that a "break," just time away from each other. In fact, many may not find it necessary to use the word "break" during that kind of situation, they my just tell their S.O that they want to have a bit of space from each other. I think what he means is when a person is talking about wanting a "break" from the (keyword) relationship. And like he said, if the problem can not be solved while still being in a relationship, then there is no point waiting around, hoping the person will come back when you could be with someone else who may be a better match. Going back to your first definition of a "break," because the two people are still committed to each other and still technically in a relationship, he may see it as them taking some space from each other in a relationship to try to solve a problem (from not being suffocated). From that, the couple can learn how to balance the amount of time they spend with each other to make sure they feel good in the relationship, so it's still a problem solving technique. But if the couple can not solve their problem together, and they have to put a "break" from the relationship as a whole, then is it really healthy to wait for the break to be over? He is saying it would just be best to move on. (At least that's what I think he is trying to say)
both sound like a break up to me. If you approached me and referred to number 1 as a "break" i would 100 percent leave you. If you just said you need to refocus and regain balance in your life that's understandable and is not a break nor a break up. Its literally just shifting space and being responsible.
I had a break with my girlfriend a six months ago close to the first one. She had medical issues and didn't have the time or energy to treat me right, which I respect. I gave her space and she still loved me up until a few months later when she decided she didn't and went to someone else. The kicker? She never got her medical issue treated. Sometimes not even the first kind of break will end well.
a break means they've met someone more interesting and want to 'explore the connection' to see if they can upgrade. If it doesn't work out...they'll come back and want to 'reconnect'. It's so obviously someone wanting to take time off to cheat. IMHO
Let's take a break. Translation: I don't love you anymore. I'm Dumping you and going to start dating...but in case I don't meet anyone. I'll come back.
@@4EducationPurpose Reply. Great idea! I'm going to find someone who WANTS to be with me. Ps If he comes back... PLEASE don't forgive him for dumping you!
He told me he just wants to be alone right now and that he lost his feelings for me. It's been a month now and even though it's still hard and I still think about him... I actually think I am fine without him. We've been together for 4 years and I thought I couldn't live without him. But I can. And I will. And he will be sorry one day.
Yesss girl! That’s the spirit. I went through something like this more than a year ago and what I did was- create a community of badass women on Instagram called @thatbitchproject. Check it out! Hope I can help you the same way I’ve helped others💞
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If he wants a break, then go ahead. But I wont be here when he comes back. I deserve much better. You only realized how much you love a person when he/she is not with you anymore.
I was asked for a break during Covid lockdown. He said that he wanted to check with himself whether his feelings for me were strong enough to go forward. I perceived that as a unilateral violation of my feelings: no chance to talk in person, no human touch, nothing. After two months and a half in which he did disappeared he sent me an email to tell me he didn’t miss me enough so he wanted to make his life without me and that he wanted his things back. Now I believe that was a huge act of cowardice and disrespect but I was so fragile, so hopeful and so alone during the lockdown that I was not able to respond to such behavior anymore. My lockdown was so deeply sad and lonely, I suffered so much: I wasn’t given the human right of confrontation. I promised to myself to not accept this kind of behavior from anyone in the future.
I'm sorry, you deserve better. My ex decided to break up with me virtually as well even though I insisted on talking in person. It was hard but they will regret loosing someone braver than them 🙏✨💛
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Wendy Yang I did not insisted. After his email I totally disappeared. His things were given to him by a courier. He did not deserve any answer, after my suffering.
I've done everything right. I saved my life from wasting precious time with people who have problems to solve on their side. I'm not a man's therapist!
If someone is needing a "break" just wish them the best and move on. No need for a conversation. When your done with that if you feel sad. The best way to overcome the sadness is to get up everyday and live your life. When you are living your best life the right man or woman for you will come.
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It has nothing to do with running from hard times! It has everything to do with a partner hanging the other out to face the hard times alone- life has no breaks.... It's all or nothing
Great relationships are not great because they have no problems, they are great because both people care enough about the other person to find a way to make it work. You just cant leave or be with a person as per your convenience or mood.
My husband said this to me... I’m now with a guy who tells me how much he appreciates having me in his life... as a matter of fact he is humming a tune as we sit next to each other relaxing... I think he is happy 😊 and that makes my heart happy.
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So what you are saying is if he asking for break, he doesn't care about you anymore and it will be a breakup, if he really wanted you he won't be asking for a break from you or the relationship
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I needed to hear this.. I was a few minutes away from contacting my ex and settling for FWB. Screw that, the woman worth having won’t accept less then what she deserves. And I want to become that women ❤️ thanks Matthew
We’ve been together for almost three years and she decided to just leave. I want to pick myself up and move on but I constantly find myself falling back down, hoping and waiting for her to come back one day. Nothing has ever felt harder I swear.
I was told this once upon a time. I quickly said "I was thinking the same thing. Thank you for bring it up. I just didn't want to hurt your feelings." He wanted to call off the breakup after that. I said no because obviously both of us were on the same track about our relationship. Show it's time to go our separate ways. Then I got up and left. I went home and cried. But the guy kept calling me wanting to get back with me for months.
This really hurt to watch. My long-term boyfriend, someone I thought I'd spend my life with, decided he wanted a break last Saturday. I am coping, but this video really hit home, and no matter how much this hurts, I think you're right. I need to keep moving. And if at some point he wants to come back, he needs to be ready for a fact I won't be there any longer.
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I broke up with someone who kept wanting to go on breaks and if it had to do with me states are out of my control he was possessive always thought I was cheating it didn't matter what I did she always came to that conclusion and it started feeling insulting at the same time she did that I want to hang out the guys once in awhile she thought I was cheating I don't call her on the minute expecting me to call she thought I was cheating on her I don't call her after I tell her I'm going to be busy but yet expects me to call her knowing plant already told her I'm helping my dad out with something serious I'm cheating yeah I didn't want to get back with her she wanted to get back with me several times I could not do that really the girls who just want to get back I figured out not benefiting themselves or you in a relationship especially the possessive once when it's just a possessive reason they want to get back so I rejected her every time because it was actually more therapeutic for my mental health to be away from her
Sometimes breaks are necessary. We love each other so much and we match but something about our timing is off right now. It’s clear as day for us but the love, the chemistry and the vibe will always be in my heart. Same for him. My other half 🖤✨Maybe it’ll come back or maybe it won’t but I won’t regret that love we shared.
In my experience , if they say they want a break ; they realize you love them more than they love you. A break means they want to fk other ppl , and realize you love them so much that you will stay.... I say end immediately if that is what they want.
If someone wants a break, one must break the dependency on them. That´s the lesson. Otherwise it would not hit us hard, when another person walks and makes their choices in freedom. If we deeply and only suffer from them walking away, we used them and did not love them.
The most painful thing about a break is when being in a long-term relationship, having built your whole life around a person, depending on them entirely, then all of a sudden they press in the break and you didn’t have your seatbelt on because you trusted them that this car (relationship) you were in would never stop. And a break is more like a crash. But once you let time heal your wounds, you will learn to love yourself again, and you will become yourself again. Never give up on love, and those that do, aren’t worth loving.
My gf of 5 years just told me she doesn't want me anymore, not really sure what went on in her mind or what influenced her decision because we haven't met in the past 2 weeks so I suggested a break. What should I do or say before we start this so called break?
@@ijam1729 hey I would say that if it comes to a point that a break is needed chances are you’ll break up because you’ll grow apart, breaks are a no go for a relationships. My biggest advice to you is to be strong and prepare yourself for the worse and starting finding your own during this time, also an important part would be to set boundaries what you can and can’t do during the break i.e dating others, or talking to others etc. Hope all goes well though and you get back in love together, but understand everything happens for a reason in this life and that reason is for your best! Hope this helps
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Not always but they're never a good reason I know I had my girlfriend go on break at least seven times and I broke up with her she want to keep going on a break I know why but none of it was my fault she always was possessive it didn't matter when it didn't matter how often it didn't matter if I went only once in a blue moon hang out with the guys she always thought I was cheating on her the guy in this video is telling that is it a reason I think it would fall more under the category out of my control I couldn't control how paranoid she was and it matter what I did she always thought that so I finally broke up with her and it felt good and honestly didn't feel like a relationship it got to the point where I was mentally messing with my health because it felt like you know what job when you do a job you absolutely hate and it just sucks all the life of my ear it could even be compared to having a prison sentence I like like you're stuck behind bars so I needed to break that off
No, it’s not an excuse. That’s just what you think and maturity of other people. If this is what you think then maybe you’re not ready for a relationship break it doesn’t mean that you cheat on your partner it’s not an excuse for them to cheat sometimes it’s good to take breaks so you guys can grow closer. It just depends on the person.
@@Eldinarcus ok first of all I’m not a cheater and never will be I don’t support this bs at all and Yo shut tf up you don’t Anything about me at all I just saying my opinion about the I feel when it comes to people taking breaks in a relationship and what I feel about them lmfao and I’m not a fucking cheater get out of here with that
If someone wants a break, 99 percent of the time it’s because you’re doing too much. You’re probably texting too much and acting to desperate and not letting them come to you.
I felt really bad about myself for a long time believing I was missing out on life, but this didn't change the fact that I loved my wife more then I could imagine loving anything else. So I sticked to my relationship. A few years later now, she is the one who has left with the excuse of having a break without any real The irony right?
Are you sure about that relationship with a girl too slept on nothing but brakes and I finally broke up with her and it was all because of possessive reasons I know it was because she always thought I was cheating on her and I never was want to go hang out with the guys once in a while I was cheating if I didn't call her on the dot I was cheating if I didn't call her on the dot that she knew ahead of time be able to call dot because I told her I was busy she would think I was cheating it didn't matter if I was busy helping my parents that was something seriously important she always thought I was cheating a relationship start to feel more like a prison one of those jobs just hate doing that just sucks the life out of you was taking a toll on my mental health finally when she said oh the last time I want to get this relationship going again and was one of her brakes already made up my mind I'm not getting back with her and I did that it was the best thing I could have ever done for myself and my mental health
Just say yes and give them the break that’s it 🤷🏾♀️ if they want a break give it to them that’s the respectful thing to do why be pushy that’s manipulative I think 🤔 I will just give them a break and continue to move on with my life without all that wasted energy in conversation
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My partner said she lost the spark a little but still likes me, she wants time alone to focus on her mental health. Etc... I'm upset but I've deleted social media. Stopped posting, I'm preparing for her to dump me. We've been on a break for about 3 weeks, she thinks it might be longer. But I'm thinking I might end it with her. I don't want to feel like I'm.not good enough when I treat her amazing. And I just asked her to be my gf and a month later she wanted a break. I'm angry inside and disappointed as well. I try blaming myself but this video really helps me know that I'm worth more than waiting for someone to tell me they like me enough.
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i told my girlfriend i wanted a break and currently we are going through that rn. but this advice is reasonable for 1. you don’t believe in breaks or 2. the person wants a break because of a relationship issue. now me AND my partner are focusing on ourselves and learning how to love ourselves and care for ourselves because our mental health is very low and her and i stay way too focused on the relationship and each other that we don’t put ourselves first. we’re taking a break to learn to love and care for ourselves as well as each other. it’s only 2 weeks. no flirting or anything w anyone but no talking to each other unless there’s an emergency. this helps the BOTH of us and we’ll come back even stronger and healthier.
I absolutely agree with your advices. I had this exact conversation. But He dared to ask me "I thought you *wanted* this relationship?" only to say "I need a break" right after (he proposed to me). So I sent him to hell. Not going through pain, sit down and WAIT for a person who says "you deserve better". YES. You are RIGHT. I DO deserve better.
@@jeenjeanjeen He never gave it to me because it didn't fit.. "We" wanted to order a slimmer one. But when i wanted to try it on one more time I never saw it again. And not long after that he said "I need a break" Ya.. wish i would have kept the ring even if it was too big.
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@Zemiya & @jeanjeanjean, The "proposal/engagement ring" doesn't belong to you unless you get married. It is contingent upon getting married. Women like both of you need to understand the original concept of the engagement ring and stop being greedy and materialistic.
@@72sunrise 🤣🤣🤣 it belongs to whoever has physical possession of it. If he wants it back, then he better get a knife and be willing to go to the slammer. When was the last time u heard someone use the word slammer to refer to jail? Too long.
This is one of the most honest realistic straight-up talk I’ve found about this topic. Being calm, asking if the relationship can be worked on as a team, your time and self love ♥️💪🏿. Thank you, I appreciate this so much 🥰
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Sometimes I regret breaking up with him when he asked for a break. Watching this video I realized that I did do all of those things you suggested and that whether I could express it or not I was protecting myself by treating the break as a breakup. He decided he no longer wanted to return the relationship with me after some time and it still hurts, but im still grateful that I got to use the time to reflect on myself and where I needed to grow for any future relationship. Thank you for this, it was very validating.
‘Your time can never be replaced, guard it like precious jewel’ are best words I heard today, thank you Matt, should hv subscribed your channel earlier, so I won’t waste my whole year on someone who doesn’t even care about me
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Thank you for this. Just recently last week a girl I've been with for over a year has just out of the blue wanted a break and then to meet up in a few months to see me. I don't think I should wait around and hope things change. I have anxiety just thinking about it.
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I totally disagree with this advice. If a partner comes to me & says I need a break, I don’t need to ask all those questions. They’ve already decided that any future with me is not something they see occurring. The only answer to give is “I see. Ok. Best of Luck.” Walk away & go immediately into “no contact.” No attempts to convince them to change their mind on their decision. Allow them to know what life without me, in any way, feels like. For me? This means moving-on must begin 3 seconds after walking away.
That reminds me of Ross and Rachel’s debate. Was it okey that Ross slept with someone else when they were on a break? 😂👉🏼👈🏼 Also, on a serious note, where would someone who knows nothing about relationships start? I never had a good role model growing up and have trouble being okey with feeling closeness if I get to find out how to get close to someone and I have trouble with emotional attachment
I had the same problem, let people in, give yourself that chance, talk with them, try to date and have fun, like you're making a friend, people can hurt you and that's a risk we have to take, Even if they hurt you, it'll pass, don't let the pain define You, learn and grow from it and love on, you'll realise that most people is good, even when they might not be right for You.
evelyn ortiz I really needed to hear something like that, thank you 🧡. It's just hard to handle/maintain the emotions that come with it n knowingly being afraid of messing up n not being enough and all that. Besides that i long so much for closeness and all that kinda things so it's kinda scary how much I might be obsessed or how much I might not be able to balance it or deal with it. But idk. Maybe things will go well when the time's right n I might just try not to be closed off even tho it's painfully vulnerable to try n find connection. Tho, yeah, I realize how important it still is
I felt SO guilty having set this boundary, and thought I was being mean but seeing others respond the same way I did, it helps. And I wasnt trying to be mean but it’s not fair for me to have to wait for them🥴
@@standground7956 No he did and he didn't even ask me, he decided we have a break. After me ignoring that he came back after 1 day lol. And I told him what Matthew says in the video. If he wants a break he can have that a lifetime. Turns out he really appreciated that strength, and he is jealous which gives him issues in his head. Loyality is not being a doormat. I think what you're going through is not okay, the missing timeline especially, and that you seem to have agreed with the break. Look your best, workout and if she comes back ask oops is the break already over it was so much fun without you I wished it was longer 😂 Seriously, I'm sorry I think you are in pain and need control+power back to strengthen your position, you're worthy and valulabe don't ever let anyone tell you different.
@@standground7956 Of course the first moment feels great, enjoy it. Underneath you may feel like the trust is broken, that you probably sign up for more of that abuse. If she questioned how loyal you are, it should have been done within the relationship but she told you something very different and broke the relationship for that for 7 months. I feel like, when someone breaks the relationship, they brake a part of me too. No matter he came back, something stinks and I'm careful now.
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Two weeks of agreeing to go on a break: its a little lonely and difficult at times.. but the old me has started to resurface the me that was savage and is not afraid of losing people and just self love do what i do best to self love I feel like this was the me that got buried when I started to feel like I needed to care and give people my outmost attention for validation and this was the person I was and the reason why my partner fell over hill over me… I was confident and did my own sht made my money went on trips alone take myself on dates and ect ect heck my baby smooth face looks like its coming back
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if a man tells you he wants a break and gives you pointless excuses ruuun , he most likely found someone or doen't have to courage to tell you it's over so he wants you to initiate it ,let him have his break let him have a break for life , and if he comes back tell him it's too late and that he isn't worth your time or emotions
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I understand his reasoning, but I also believe that sometimes a break can be good. Sometimes we get too close to someone too soon and lose sight of our own goals. Asking for a finite break (i.e 2 weeks, a month) could be good to clear your head and think about what you really want. And if you can still achieve your goals with guy/girl in your life, even better. I don’t think a break is necessarily an indication that someone doesn’t value you. They could just be really busy with their own issues and need to recenter.
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Breaks are okay as long as you trust each other, me and my boyfriend had a break but I literally just stayed at my moms for a week and felt a lot bette after coming back to him. We both mutually agreed though I didn’t just get up and leave. But I guess it depends on what everyone wants the break for
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@Adil Alfa hmmm...not a sword fight, too 'masculine' 😏 We may try to get all naked in front of him and let him choose 😜hahahhaha 😁 Just joking. I wouldn't put it so superficially, offering myself so shamelessly... ...Or would I? 😂 Still kitting. Maybe there's that, too 😅, but not before having let him discover my kind, a bit clumsy but authentic nature. No fear! Oh Matthew, just marry me. Now. Trust me. 😜
Okay I just find it strange because in my first relationship I've had a break with my partner at the time and after the break our relationship had become better as a result of it. Does that not happen in other relationships?
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I am so surprised right now. Because I have seen your video only now, but I have done exactly what you are suggesting in this video a year ago. I don’t think I was wrong after all. I’m glad I trusted myself on the decision and your video helped me assure it! Thanks :)
I recently asked for a break just because his behavior that seemed to be avoidant was causing me such pain and distress, and I needed to focus on some work issues. I set a specific date, a few weeks later, which has come and gone with no word from him. I reached out last week. He said we might be able to meet up Monday. We’ll see if he calls, or if he flakes like he has done so many times before. At least my levels of exasperation and confusion are lower and I can think more clearly. I wasn’t wanting to be with anyone else. I just needed a break from his behavior that was so frustrating for me. Now I am wondering if he just isn’t that in to me, and I should just keep it moving. At least he helped me to get clear that I am ready for a serious, committed relationship with marriage potential.
Why do I asked for a break? Bcz I am alone all my life. And to suddenly having someone in my life is quite overwhelming sometimes. And I just need to get away a while. Aka a break...to further valuate the relationship I am in. Like seeing from far...outside my body and heart, to see if this guy is correct for me. So I asked for a break.
Great advice as always, Matthew! :) I have also known couples who took a break and after that break, their relationship escalates to a happier and more fulfilled one, too. So, really it depends on you, your situation, and most importantly is your feeling. If you feel like it is okay to give someone a break then you do it. But if you don't then what Mathew shares in the video is such a perfect piece of advice for you. Listen to your heart and your feeling. Don't be a follower, ladies ❤
Hey beautiful ❤, how you doing hope you good and great.. I would love to chat more with you on another platform maybe hangouts. I'm active on it or we could trade emails on it Since here is not the right place to have a chat hope that's okay .. By the way greetings from 🇺🇸.. Stay safe
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If a person wants a break from you, means that they don't actually want you, and are too scared to actually be alone.... so they string you along and find a way to have their cake and eat it too... there are 2 sides to this coin.. either you are just not compatible... or you have gotten over enthusiastic, and showered this person with too much affection to the point that they felt smothered... the fault is not always with the other person... but assuming that that's not the case, if someone wants you in their life they will not need or want a break.. honestly if I'm going through shit, I would want some support on my side... not remove the support... so i think walk away with your dignity and self respect. Don't have to be rude or nasty... just call it as it is... walk away from something that most likely would cause further heart break... in this case, put yourself first
Hey beautiful ❤, how you doing hope you good and great.. I would love to chat more with you on another platform maybe hangouts. I'm active on it or we could trade emails on it Since here is not the right place to have a chat hope that's okay .. By the way greetings from 🇺🇸.. Stay safe
@@turanyoung2323 hi... so I'm very flattered, but I'm not interested in having a cyber connection with someone I don't really know... but thanks... and hope you're well and safe 🙏
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im really confused on whats going on with mine like she said she wants a break from us and she is saying that she still wants to be friends and im confused now if its a breakup or just a break
He literally watched me in my face and said that I don't have the qualities that he wants in a girl. So if knew that why in God's heaven's name did he wanted to be with me? Guess it was just to play me........... He just left me there....no comfort.......no nothing. And I'm just sitting down crying almost everyday wondering what to do next.😢😢😢
Sounds like you don’t need his qualities either to be honest...what an idiot. He either loves you or he doesn’t. But a good book on how to get over heart ache, watch friends, talk about it helps, get your nose pierced or hair died, there’s something empowering about making that change you’ve always wanted, start fresh, you can do this. You can heal from heart break. If it’s really painful in the first few days or weeks you can take paracetamol to help with the heart ache as the pain is physical. A really good book is “when life isn’t peachy” :-) try it!!! www.amazon.com/When-Life-Not-Peachy-Real-life/dp/191163237X
Same. But know your worth! He will come back - they always do and it’s usually for sex. Don’t lower your standards because of loneliness when he does come back. A man never leaves the woman he know is his wife - EVER. A woman leaving is different but when a man leaves believe him and work on yourself and moving forward.
It's okay to be sad, sweetie. Embrace this moment, even if you suffer. Because it will teach you to raise your standards for the next one. Never change yourself or your needs. He didn't fulfill his duty as your boyfriend? He didn't meet your needs? No problem, the next one will. He ain't special, it is you who puts him on a pedestal. But it will take some time for you to see that. And that's okay. *Take* your time. Sending hugs. Believe in yourself. You're stronger than you think. And yes, allowing yourself to be weak is a strong trait too.
If someone wants a break, the relationship is not worth it and it will not last. Whoever asks for a break is childish and is not ready for a relationship.
I should have walked away when they first break was suggested! Wasted precious 5years and here I am. If she ever wants a break, end it and move on, no time for games.
A break with no explanation is a relationship not worth having. They are either doing it as a power move or aren't taking cafe of the relationship enough to work on it. Its like they are asking to leave. Let them go.
sorry but this isnt always the case... I KNOW PLENTY OF PEOPLE who have just taken a break to sort stuff outside of the relationship ie. toxic behaviour, help with mental health issues (which shouldnt be the role of a partner) so i have to disaagree with this because its a way of evolving alone and truly coming into ones power alone and then you can see if there is a chance. so no this is not always the case that team work works. SPACE AND CLARITY ALONE is a very good thing
Thank you for this. We had an argument and things got overwhelming. He asked for 2 days to simply calm down, relax, and to think about the relationship. Totally understandable and I'm respecting his request. I needed it too. He asked for only 2 days, not 2 weeks or longer which. I think these two days will help us both see what we want and can help us work on ourselves to better the relationship. He said after the 2 days he will reach out so we can talk about it. I wasn't left in the dark wondering if he'll come back. Knowing him as a person he would never leave me in the dark. I was the one who messed up once again and started this space. I hope we can make it work
okay, got into the video with the idea of how to feel better after the break, or even trying to fix the relationship, but realized i actually needed to break up. it’s what’s best now. this helped a lot. and i’ll definitely check the other video as well. i don’t feel as bad now 😅
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I wasn’t healthy enough to do this, so I was in a decades’ long relationship, hoping a toxic individual would love me and pay attention to me. EMDR/CBT therapies three years prior to my leaving the relationship, helped me to heal and make the choice to wait no longer. Thank you for this succinct message, Matthew! Blessings!❤️
*+2348124002333 ... this is the number of a very powerful spell caster who helped bring me my ex-husband, who left me for years and now my ex-husband has come back to me, .....* ❤💕
*+2348124002333 ... this is the number of a very powerful spell caster who helped bring me my ex-husband, who left me for years and now my ex-husband has come back to me, .....* ❤💕
Ava Michael Even if I believed in witchcraft or divination (casting of spells), I wouldn’t want the toxic ex to come back to me. He’s TOXIC, self-entitled, needy,. He never loved me, never took care of me when I was ill, even when I took care of him when HE was ill. He disrespected me, cheated on me, and didn’t like me. Who wants to go back to someone like that?!!!
@@nryane you made the right choice one witchcraft is evil 2 a person would have to be toxic to try to cast a spell for someone to be with them 3 you're better off without that person
So go you take a break and I will wait here, stay faithful, committed to you and hope that you choose me. Really? Someone care to explain to me how that is going to benefit my sense of mental well being, self respect, dignity, trust and quality of life? If you are going to go, go do not play mind games with peoples emotions, it cruel and inhumane.
I asked for a break because the relationship has become toxic. He is no longer happy with me, and stopped trying. I’m in pieces right now. I’m really trying to take care of myself
I had this conversation with my ex...he said he needs a break... I was devastated inside because he was being so individualistic I observed from a few days..We used to solve problems together but now he was being like I'll think about myself which I should and I need a break...I was very much angry...he expected me to wait for him he said...but I ended things with him...He made me feel bad about thinking about myself when he was clearly doing the same..He painted me to be the bad one.. because I said I deserved better...
In my “childhood” relationship (8 years. Age 16 to 24) he used to always ask for a break when things got heavy. I would always tell him I don’t believe it breaks; that it was all or nothing. One time, ONE time while in an argument I agreed to his suggestion of taking a break (we were 6+ years in) because I was just too exhausted to carry on the argument. He went and slept with another woman. I believe there was an agenda all along. DO NOT TAKE A BREAK!
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I think there has to be a compromise and the reasons for that. There's extraordinary circumstances as a once in a century pandemic, family issues, mental health issues. But yes, if he asks for a break, you set the rules: no contact, no other partners, and you set the time limit to follow up. I kept an eye on his country's temperature so when it eased up after a wave a month or so later, I reopened communication but if I didn't hear back from him by such a date I told him, I considered us done. We did communicate a few weeks later and he broke up with me but I asked for a clean break, especially after he broke one of the rules. It hurt a lot but I feel better because I love myself enough to leave and maintain my self-respect. Now, I've rededicated myself to my late husband because I'll always have him.
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Great thoughts, Matthew. I was the one who wanted the break. He has mental health issues and refused to open up and communicate healthily about things that needed solving. The pressure became too much for me and I had a nervous breakdown. I had to remove myself. So we have been on a break for as long as it took me to recover. I'm not going to jump back into a relationship that follows the same patterns. Love alone is not enough. We'll see what happens but a break is not always a break in the typical sense. I needed to put myself first but also was to some extent open to letting him wake up to the possibility that he would have to live life potentially without me, and what that would be like. We are special, despite the difficulties, but I will not go back to trauma-rooted stonewalling and refusal to work together and communicate again. Thank you for all you do, Matthew.
Jane i am exactly the same situation as you. I asked for a break because I felt my relationship is just one sided. It’s caused me so anxious and confused - sometimes we just need to give it a break so that both ourself and the other person can finally feel what it’s like without each other rather than staying together with series of problems unsolved
There's a shit ton of projecting in the comments. So, much negativity and insecurities... "Distance makes the heart grow fonder." Taking a break can be a good thing believe it or not.
Most commenters are saying they'd just break up and are being negative about the whole thing. If they'd rather break up that's valid ofc, but the ones that are being a dick about it probably have insecurities and raging egos. Not completely breaking up (while setting a time frame for the break) is also valid, and it'll probably make the relationship way stronger than it was before. The level of commitment the couple wants to have during the break is up to the couple, but yes I'd agree on not responding to attempts to contact during most of the break period. I whole heartedly believe that distance makes the heart grow fonder, it's the spicy honey drizzle that makes a relationship delightfully great!
I see a lot of comments saying if the partner asks for a break that means all they want is cheating... I asked my boyfriend for a break today, we've been together for the last 8 months and it's been amazing, I loved him with all of my heart and we've been through so much as teammates... But in the past few days I've been feeling so lost about so many things, not even finding myself anymore, I felt like I don't know if I'm with him just because I was feeling lonely, or because I actually loved him and wanted to be with him, so I asked him for a break because I think that is something for me to figure out and is not something we can do together... My purpose was to fully understand my feelings without ruining our relationship, during this break I don't want to meet new guys or sleep with anyone, I feel so bad reading these comments and I don't know if I just messed everything up.. I truly don't know what to do...
People project their fears on the one who wants a break. I beliebe you didnt want to cheat. Are u together or did you saw that you dont love him enough??
No I think youre doing the right thing. I believe a break is not a bad thing if you give him/her a length of time and schedule to talk again after that time is up. Sometimes we need to organize our thoughts, but it is really difficult when we get so close to someone else. A break could be something that brings you closer to him in the end!
Same boat feel my wife is just using it as an excuse to f me over but I ain’t waiting I can’t. If she really “loves” me we can resolve together or I’ll give her a certain amount of space but no longer than a week
Exactly the same my gf told me...it doesn't always mean they going to cheat you..they have their own life problems to deal with..i hope she find a peace.
I had always firmly disagreed in the idea of breaks as well, as such my best friend (5 years) has broken up with me in order to re-find herself. I am so devastated at the moment, and unsure of whether I should have vouched for a break considering the end of our relationship was entirely circumstantial... bad timing, family issues and Covid lockdown :(
I was crying right now because I'm forcing him not to take a break . because I love him so much and we have plans in the future but he wants us to take a break in 2 months without me ..... I didn't do anything to him . it's just he annoy me because I'm a filipina and I can't express English very well to him .and I thought at first he understands me,but our plan was change he want me to not bugging him to say I love you and I miss him.. 😭😭
There is a immense love for you Matthew, I have had a really difficult time coping up from "situationship" but with the help of your videos and content I could come out stronger and clearer... I can't tell you how real, authentic and practical advice you give which help us soo much to take right decisions in life.
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I came upon this and I have to say that don’t take advice literally without assessing if it suits your situation. For me I pushed my partner and caused so much pain that he asked for a break. I respect that cos it’s my own doing. So I’m giving he as much time as he needs to…
Thank you. I did this before even watching this video.. his response to part three was “I need your actions to line up with your words” we live(d) together. He moved into his moms house. I am still living here at the home he owns with my three children at the r he invited us to come move in and we started building a family together together with him and his daughter. They left at the beginning of this month after an argument we had regarding intimacy.. or the lack there of. He didn’t want it.. I did.. we both have past traumas and he knows how important staying connected is to me. Thank you for this video. I am going to offer to rent or buy his house, if he doesn’t want to do that I will look for a new place for me and my kids to live. Thanks again.
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I think taking a few days to cool off, I needed a break because my boyfriend can't handle it when I'm sad because of something he did...He doesn't want to see me upset it frustrates him. But I need my time to be alone and feel whatever the fuck I feel without needing to comfort him
day two of heartbreak.. i got this.. *deep breath* I GOT THIS. i will attract the person that’s right for me, when the time is right and i will have full clarity. no more petty explanations, i will never wait around for a decision to be made.
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I don't believe in breaks. And when she suggested the break, we were broken up a month later. It turns out she didn't have the balls to admit she wanted a break-up. Point proven.
If they want a break from you then they really are just wasting your time because they want to try it with someone else that they'd rather be with but don't want to lose you so in case it doesn't work out they they come back
