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Things you wouldn't hear on a news programme | Mock the Week - BBC

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Watch the BBC first on iPlayer 👉 bbc.in/iPlayer... The performers suggest things you would never hear in a news programme.
Watch #MockTheWeek on the BBC: bbc.in/2JjQuXW
Mock the Week | Series 17 Episode 3 | BBC
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Опубликовано:

21 июн 2018

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Комментарии : 208

@peteralderson1483 5 лет назад

In the news today, all the road signs in West Yorkshire have been stolen . Police are looking for Leeds

@asherloat8570 3 года назад

Sarah Pascoe made a similar joke

@AutomaticDuck300 6 лет назад

There's been a break in at the origami factory. More on this as it unfolds.

@livb6945 6 лет назад

LemonZeppelin Something along those lines has actually been on this segment. Can't remember which one though

@smilinj6074 4 года назад

Oh that's tear-able.

@kylestubbs8867 3 года назад

“The suspect has been identified as a purple-robed individual with blond hair and a crown. He answers to the name ‘King Olly’.”

@mistermagicmusic 2 года назад

@@kylestubbs8867 don’t get it.

@hfishere 4 года назад

Ellie’s voice is perfect for this round ❤️

@Englishham 2 года назад

I thought the same

@jakewhite3132 6 лет назад

Hugh planting the idea to make sure he's the only one left.

@chrisgarton4225 5 лет назад

A man wearing a mirrored suit started a fight downtown. The police stopped the fight and told the man to reflect on what he did.

@pschexy945 3 года назад

Colin Mochrie told it better

@alexanderg1935 6 лет назад

Insult female comedian, call the BBC biased and pine after Frankie Boyle. There. Think I've covered the next six months of comments nicely.

@thomasalvarez6456 6 лет назад

Alexander G I mean the BBC are a bit annoying.

@h0lly_blue 6 лет назад

and then hide behind what they think is the impenetrable barrier of "it's my opinion"

@godlyoblivion 6 лет назад

I’m all for frankie but I dont get the comment, structure is appalling.

@thomasalvarez6456 6 лет назад

HollyBlueAgitated It is their opinion. So what?

@aliceevans5064 6 лет назад

👏👏👏

@KeithFraser82 6 лет назад

11 downvotes from Jacob Rees-Mogg, his children, his wife, Nanny, the butler, and Nanny's butler.

@kylestubbs8867 3 года назад

“Good evening, Britain. Now let’s go through all the reasons why it isn’t.”

@chrisgarton4225 5 лет назад

A murder happened in town. Police found the victim faced down in his bathtub filled with milk, corn flakes, and sugar. Could he have been a cereal killer?

@apowerfulflower 5 лет назад

1:24 should also be on 'Unlikely things to hear at the World Cup.'

@TheSequelWasBetter 6 лет назад

Ed Helms' right foot disappears at 1:20.

@iz723 6 лет назад

interesting that means they spliced the two shots together

@bmjs6707 6 лет назад

Ed Gamble

@alexoneill6725 6 лет назад

Orchestruction c

@itsScad 5 лет назад

Orchestruction

@BuzzinVideography 4 года назад

Optical illusion from the shiny floor

@mollybaker957 6 лет назад

Ok so when he said there’s a bear behind you.... I am actually laying against a big stuffed toy polar bear that is my little brothers. COINCIDENCE I THINK NOT

@janbruggemann5636 4 года назад

I think so

@henrikhyrup3995 4 года назад

That's the power of James Acaster right there. He knows...!

@JohnHolywell 6 лет назад

James and Hugh are so funny! Omg.

@officialcalummenzies 6 лет назад

Flicking through MTW clips, and find the guy on the left (makes Polaroid joke) consistently funny. Who is he?

@ATTACKASSASSIN 6 лет назад

officialmenzies Ed Gamble

@officialcalummenzies 6 лет назад

Nice one, cheers mate!

@reload1535 6 лет назад

2:36 it’s 6 o’clock, and you know what that means.

@phunkymind23 5 лет назад

In bodily traffic news, a major disruption has occurred on the small intestine at junction 32 due to a broken down biscuit.

@jaggass 3 года назад

''In entertainment news it's confirmed that Cliff Richard is in a relationship with himself''

@emmacassidy8482 6 лет назад

They should shout "Iceland was better when it was Beejams!"

@NathansWargames 4 года назад

the jack whitehall joke was class

@guvy6264 6 лет назад

1:20 where did his leg go

@ethancarberry-holt3011 4 года назад

*Insert X-Files theme*

@smilinj6074 4 года назад

There's something afoot on 'Mock The Week'!

@barneymetcalfe8896 3 года назад

1:21 Ed’s leg says adios

@derekbland5253 3 года назад

Thing's you won't here on BBC news, Diversity of opinion A balanced report A centre right view

@chrisgarton4225 4 года назад

And now the news where you are, you’re about to grab the remote control and change the channel.

@johnchildyearu6646 4 года назад

1:22 and we finally did it

@chrisgarton4225 4 года назад

The cleveland browns have just won the Super Bowl

@diehardrvdfan22 Год назад

"Your local Walmart says their Target is the opposition."

@godlyoblivion 6 лет назад

Perfect mock the week episode: Milton Jones, Hugh Dennis,James Acaster, Nish Kumar, Frankie Boyle, Gary Delaney or Miles Jupp

@godlyoblivion 6 лет назад

Boredasfuc so you don’t like OTT comedy? Not even no fools only horses. If you don’t like short funny one liners stick to stand up and stuff like Apollo

@iz723 6 лет назад

Milton and James are amazing

@keepyoureyespeeled 6 лет назад

Replace Nish with Ed Byrne and you've got a good show. Also Frankie isn't coming back, as much as I'd love it if he did.q

@timothyfloogle 6 лет назад

Boredasfuc but what about whitehall?

@2490debrick 5 лет назад

Nish? Really? He's about as funny as a woman!

@masteryeet3600 5 лет назад

Why does the person in the orange tie look like my English teacher from year 7?

@hfishere 4 года назад

You mean Tom Allen? He actually looks he would be a teacher

@kylestubbs8867 3 года назад

Maybe he was?

@georgefirth3376 6 лет назад

Apple have started paying their taxes in the UK

@chrisgarton4225 5 лет назад

This just in helium prices up, up, and up.

@smilinj6074 4 года назад

Oh! That's a gas!

@kylestubbs8867 3 года назад

“Well, at least _something_ is.”

@brandonmartin-moore5302 6 лет назад

I'm pretty sure there's more comments about other people saying the female comedians aren't funny, than actual comments complaining about her. Hmmm...

@beeble2003 2 года назад

So basically, you're complaining about people complaining about people complaining about female comedians. This is getting a bit meta.

@neilfleming2787 2 года назад

is it just me or is Ellie just stunning

@padraic773 3 года назад

In the News today, Mock the Week viewers move on from Frankie Boyle..

@hfishere 4 года назад

This is the best episode I’ve seen so far!

@NibberKSmooth 4 года назад

Upon reflection, the mirror robber knew he did wrong.....

@charliecartwright4371 6 лет назад

Love James Acaster

@doctorwhat3683 16 дней назад

2:46 this joke’s even more unlikely now…

@edwardharriss1463 6 лет назад

My Entry: I'm at the site where an unarmed man was shot in cold blood by a man holding a shotgun, police did catch the killer but when questioned he simply said *Eastwood voice* "well he shoulda armed himself"

@jayromebabag5313 4 года назад

I think "To be honest, half of these are fake" is a failed opportunity.

@Dim4323 Год назад

Tonight's on the news we have hostages

@emjackson2289 6 лет назад

Cutting but very, very true.

@parkerproductions4546 6 лет назад

My line: " *holds finger to ear* Oh god..... Ladies and gentlemen, this just in. I have received information where the escaped animal from London Zoo is... It is large, on my back and it does not help my arachnophobia...!"

@sanderbiebaut3967 6 лет назад

It’s not coming home boys😂

@JohnHolywell 6 лет назад

Finally a funny female comedian on this show!

@MrSamBerrett1 6 лет назад

Where?

@YOYO-mx6ie 6 лет назад

John H thats alan carr in drag

@rlinders9972 6 лет назад

What about Zoe Lyons?

@YOYO-mx6ie 6 лет назад

R Linders she is a he. she-he is unfunny.

@ItsThatVogue 6 лет назад

Yeah not quite mate

@andreasstergard4057 3 года назад

At 1:22 you can see on Ed’s leg that they’ve edited out a pause

@anthonyoch8285 6 лет назад

Acaster is the new Andy Parsons. Make him permanent!

@geordirowe5248 3 года назад

people go to 1:20 and watch when he walks to the left when u put it in 0.75 speed????

@chasgalaxy6721 6 лет назад

*unlikely things to hear on a news programme* Exciting news

@bradw8102 Год назад

1:02 this is what the Ukraine Ambassador told Elon Musk

@anthem11212 5 лет назад

Who was the last guy? The one with the dark hair?

@jaggass 6 лет назад

''A thief has been caught stealing a charity donation tin but lets face its no worse what CEO's do''

@mattroberts8583 6 лет назад

Michael Langley stop

@timebomb4562 4 года назад

I think these jokes were alright What do you think random passer by

@Gameplaytoday1 3 года назад

Damm right this is fake news 😂😂

@pauldockree9915 2 года назад

Iceland and frozen assets. Ribaldry in Long Johns and reportedly Lycra (ouch pouch) continued.

@alexanderchilvers1243 6 лет назад

It's coming home.

@jonhay75 3 года назад

The truth.

@savioperera8724 4 года назад

damn you Lex Luthor

@ireneparkin3360 5 лет назад

Did anyone else look behind themselves when he said "There's a 🐻 behind you."

@rtozier2011 6 лет назад

You *wouldn't* hear 'England has won the World Cup' on a British news programme. We know it's a team effort; that's why we would say 'England HAVE'.

@beeble2003 2 года назад

Gosh, it's almost like the subject is "Things you wouldn't hear on a news programme."

@rtozier2011 2 года назад

@@beeble2003 'Wouldn't' in this case was emphasised to mean 'indeed', not 'counterpoint'.

@peterburke1709 4 года назад

Love Ellie's dress

@hannahbutler929 6 лет назад

Why does his leg disappear at 1:20?

@gwishart 5 лет назад

Poor editing.

@dez3540 Год назад

Am I the only one who just _doesn't_ find Ed Gamble funny?

@nafialam7664 4 года назад

Came here after the rugby

@Zak-ob5ze 6 лет назад

Who is the woman

@michaelrawson6261 6 лет назад

Zak R:... Ellie Taylor.

@emmacassidy8482 6 лет назад

Iceland was better when it was Beejams.

@jaggass 6 лет назад

''Every report i read out the more depressed i get''

@ThePbZepplin 5 лет назад

England just won the world cup :p

@Alec30 5 лет назад

He was talking about football not cricket 😂

@Raven-136 4 года назад

The truth

@itzMillsy 5 лет назад

Hugh is carrying this show

@benbow7 6 лет назад

"Half a million people signed a petition calling for Tommy Robinson's release in one week".

@michaelrawson6261 6 лет назад

benbow7:... where do I sign...?

@emjackson2289 6 лет назад

Don't you mean Stephen Yaxley-Lennon and he was actually found guilty of a crime.

@benbow7 6 лет назад

@@emjackson2289 - as was Nelson Mandela.

@emjackson2289 6 лет назад

By a kangeroo court of an apartheid state . . . .but of course (a) you knew that and (b) probably thought the National Party was doing the right thing. Forgetting of course the National Party was led by a Boer who loathed the British....how many Boers would have stabbed Lee Rigby in the throat? You'll have to ask them, but better learn Afrikaans before you do.

@benbow7 6 лет назад

@@emjackson2289 - whereas Tommy Robinson was jailed by a kangaroo court for highlighting the rape and torture of thousands of children and the attempts by the state to cover it up.

@Spitfyre1011 5 лет назад

Who’s the guy did the Iceland joke?

@kay_faraday 4 года назад

Ari Eldjarn, I think

@ajthepoppunkkid8415 6 лет назад

Is it bad that I actually checked to see if there was a bear behind me?

@davidlance5310 6 лет назад

I’m surprised Ellie managed to stick it to the BBC with her choice of clothes this time round. I’ll be even more surprised if the BBC lets her carry on doing Mash Report

@chrisgarton4225 5 лет назад

So the reason why we’re called the News is because we don’t want to be called the Olds

@JiewenTan 6 лет назад

“Thousands of researches and studies show that gaming will not actually lead to violence behaviours” Edit: typo

@Ryanwestham 5 лет назад

Love this programme but we gotta get rid of the license fee

@ireneparkin3360 4 года назад

Did anyone else look behind when he said there's a bear behind you?

@percyboy2066 4 года назад

Shite

@avetrotter1356 5 лет назад

Who's the girl on this?

@hellanistpunk3282 5 лет назад

Ellie taylor

@gregoryuk 4 года назад

@@hellanistpunk3282 I knew if I scroll through the comments long enough someone would ask. (*looks for Ellie Taylor)

@SilliusSodus 6 лет назад

What did Carol do?

@jaggass 6 лет назад

''Later on Owen Jones will be joining us hang on ive just been told he's walked out already''

@MartinelunafayeWhitear21 6 лет назад

😂😂😂😂

@benbow7 6 лет назад

"A study has found that Brexit could create excellent opportunities for Britain"

@myenemysenemy1043 6 лет назад

The little bald guy is weird-looking

@ThebestWWE654 6 лет назад

The female comedian overdid it and got a bit cringy.

@aliceevans5064 6 лет назад

thebest wwe I thought the male comedians did it too

@Amadeus-ms9lt 6 лет назад

Trust me, this is her best. She's called Ellie Taylor.

@klop4228 6 лет назад

I thought the last one was funny because of the cringe. As in that was the joke.

@ThebestWWE654 6 лет назад

klop422 yeah I agree but I thought she overdid it.

@livb6945 6 лет назад

thebest wwe It was part of the joke...

@tobias-edwards 6 лет назад

FINALLY, a funny female on this show!!!

@jamiedodger2361 5 лет назад

Check out Unlikely Lines From A Children’s Book. She’s fantastic there

@whatonearth9809 5 лет назад

Those teeth 0:58 😷

@benbow7 6 лет назад

"Today President Trump achieved something positive".

@jaggass 6 лет назад

HIV?

@BatTaz19 6 лет назад

benbow7 Beaten ISIS, Brought North Korea to the table, Record employment, Business booming, got NATO allies to begin paying in and Sodomised Trudeau! P.S. Triggered a million snowflakes. 2020!

@michaelrawson6261 6 лет назад

Bat Taz:... yup! ... gotta love the Prezz!!! But I think he's got better taste in who to "bugger" than trudeau. I reckon he's given the world the finest looking First Lady... by some distance!!!

@ItsThatVogue 6 лет назад

2:45 god she's not funny but she is smoking

@michaelrawson6261 6 лет назад

Average Commenter:... wow! I didn't notice Ellie smoking...! But she's very nice lookin! 😆

@2490debrick 6 лет назад

Oh the liberal conformist humour... Just gets funnier and funnier!

@thecuriousgorilla6005 6 лет назад

I am Kekistan this debate is hilarious

@jay_a.3247 6 лет назад

good god this show has gone down hill since frankie left 🤦🏼‍♂️

@chenugent 5 лет назад

I can’t tell if I just don’t get any of her jokes or if she’s just amazingly good at not being funny

@derekbland5253 3 года назад

A balanced, impartial, non-woke view from BBC news.

@cassdy91 6 лет назад

Call me a sexist, but I don't find women funny at all 🤔

@livb6945 6 лет назад

Seriously, have you considered why? Do you even realise that you don't listen to the jokes, you see a woman and you're already decided? Try imagining a male comedian uttering the same sentence. Funny?

@cassdy91 6 лет назад

LivB I watch a lot of comedians, men and women equally, but men do it better, that don't mean women aren't good, women are good at other things! I'm just being honest...