Ti-Fe & Fi-Te Communication Challenges with Spacey, Natalie Deister of That One ISFJ and Boris Boris 

Yes. I think it accurate. I also a Fi user (Intj) I struggle to share emotion and if i am not ready I can snap. It is hard thinking about it.

Oh how funny! Yes! 😂

You can have both Te & Se! If you feel like these two are strongest than tou might be either ENTJ or ESFP ENTJ - (Te Ni Se Fi) ESFP - (Se Fi Te Ni)

It's called 'sleeping on it' 😂

I love that damn cat so much

LOLLL

@@Slippernips can Ti have feelings ?!? Jk

To clarify, we imitate Te actions but we do not use Te. We just switch Ne off and use Ti-Si with much more stress than Te users

@@dxfifa well it depends. if the way you handle is based on curent understanding of external world (Te) and you perceive external detail (Se), then you use Te. i guess oftentimes we imitate Te yes. But, sometimes i don't. i believe functions is more fluid that we thought.

Excellent to hear, Janine!! :)

(INFP) I can definitely relate. My Fe friends are always looking out and caring for me while disregarding their own feelings sometimes. I feel sort of guilty for not being able to reciprocate in the same way many times. And yeah, sometimes I want to tell Fe dom/aux to just speak their honest opinion lol! Like, I want to know YOUR true feelings.

@@era1442 yes. We definitely have such different approaches to the concept of over-sharing. Few things make an Fi user happier than being in an environment where everyone feels comfortable sharing their honest thoughts and feelings, but I think for a lot of Fe users that kind of environment is highly stress-inducing, because honest thoughts can be hurtful and uncomfortable at times. But I think Fi users feel we can push forward because we inherently trust our values to steer us in the right direction (because we literally spend so much time figuring out what they are, and how to follow them) And esp xNFPs I think feel very well equipped with our Ne that even if something does go wrong as a result of our over sharing, we’ll figure out how to fix it.

Is any “completely transparent” about their personal feelings? That’s a lot to ask of anyone. I don’t see why it’s an issue.

@@hirsch4155 “completely transparent” was a poor choice of words. How about “substantially forthcoming”? Lol

@@eckey03 lol Yes I get what you mean now :)

Great to hear!! Glad it was helpful! :) Thanks for tuning in, Michelle.

Thanks Samuel! You're a swell guy.

Absolutely, @KJ Daniels! Well said. :)

That is Fi not Fe that your mother was using. Fe users almost always understand what you're doing because they do all have Ti for their inner world... Even if they choose not to use it often. You are also an Fi user. It shows both of you were Fe blind, refusing to compromise to understand each other. Everything you are saying is pretty much as Fi/Te as it gets, and it shows how Fi you are to be blind to it and think it's Fe Fi people really struggle when others don't feel the same way they would, as they almost always use empathy rather than sympathy. And if they can't imagine themselves feeling that way in that position, they usually don't care. Fe users tend to use general social logic and their knowledge of the person to superimpose a simplistic projection of the other person and analyse how the other person probably feels in their position, not how a fully understood version of yourself would feel

@@dxfifa Hmm, you have a good point there. Maybe it was her 6th slot Fi. As an INFJ, she did have access to her Fi as her critical parent function and I do see that same dynamic in ISFJs as well, (who also have 6th slot Fi) which sucks because otherwise, I typically really love ISFJs but they hurt me when they try to shut me down emotionally. Yes, maybe it’s Fi, but it’s a poor usage of Fi. They are critical of personal feelings and try to tell you how you should or should not feel. They actually try to shut you down when you’re expressing your feelings. I’ve got 3 INFPs VERY close and longterm relationships and they’re totally different. 🥰 My INFP best friend, ex-wife and girlfriend NEVER did/do that. They are always respectful of my feelings. A front stack Fi user is more likely to respect your different feelings whereas the 6th slot Fi user is less accepting.

🤔🤔🤔 is that why it's hard to play politics?

@@fattysl26 I guess. When you have strong Fi you want authenticity, not pretense.

@@alexandra9944 Definitely

Excellent!! Happy to know, Oliver! :)

@PressieAMVs ti word for the latter might be "cathartic" as a mood.

@@demogorgon4244 I can see that it might be fun if something is complicated to figure out (it keeps Ne busy). However, I am curious if it makes you perceive to be understood with your Ti wiring? For example, I like it when I explain how a something works in myself or someone else explained logically, that the other understands what I am saying and can see the value of it. It feels frustrating to me (personally) to talk to people who do not understand me. Whenever I have miscommunicatoin with my ENFJ girlfriend, it's always about us perceiving things in a different manner with our different perceiving axis, while when we judge things or reason we always understand eachother and have no miscommunication. However, for you your Ti might be more of a Toy and you share your Ne of course, which makes her understand the Ne naturally I would guess? Kinda messy story, but you get the point (I'm about to go sleep)

@@PowerRedBullTypology i find it more enjoyable when i explain a complex ti or fi thing with my ne. for example that phenomenology fi connection comment of mine at binyamin's channel (i read most phenomenologists so i know fi better than fi doms) or when i said "oh, as a ti dom you don't know what you like? then just think in terms of what are some cool things to you. maybe robots or some shit huh?" how do i "ne" explain things exactly? i don't lose myself in details, i get rid of unneccessary details, i simplify things and then i see how x and y and z are variants of each other and coming from a and then i explain something like how demon function of beebe and socionics's role function is exact same thing. i won't get fooled by titles and terminology. my comment above is an ne comment more than a ti one too. i am telling entps and intps: hey, look at from this ne perspective: see infps and enfps just like any other puzzle, try to understand them like any other complex thing, aren't you an explorer? aren't you into wierd stuff? open your mind to the world of fi.

Thank you so much! You're a sweetie, Linds. :)

@@JoyceMeng22 You're very welcome, Joyce! Aww Thanks! 💗💗💗

So happy this video helped you understand the Ti-Fe perspective more! :) Thanks for watching, Shou!!

Te is 100% the most bossy, especially with Si, or Se child

Our pleasure! Thanks for letting us know that this was one of the best cognitive functions videos you've seen, @ImaHumanYesIam. What a compliment!

haha i feel you (INFP)

Same, XNFP here

Yeaaah when there's no one to calm people for example in a stressful sitiation or no one to bring back harmony to the group, i will take it but otherwise no

Are they men or women. Estj men are worse if unhealthy

ENFP here. Fascinating to see the Fe just naturally & seemingly effortlessly harmonize with each other on the panel. They can share their Ti debates & differences yet stay socially harmonious. 💗💗💗

I sometimes struggle to listen to songs when the instruments are overpowering the voice in the mix. You sometimes encounter songs that to me are overproduced or maybe thinking in the back of my head like, this could be better if they tone down the instrument or if they want to go that way, find a singer that can keep up with the band.

Yeah redbull im pretty much the same way. I always know exactly what it is that i like about a piece of music.

@@Slippernips INTP here as well, and I 100% agree. I basically don't even like something if I can't break it into the reasons why. Otherwise it'll "bother" me until I figure it out. My (Fe 2nd) feeler wife confirmed that she doesn't even understand what I mean by that, she just "feels" what she likes so I think it's may be a feeling-inferior thing perhaps. The good side of that is that I'll listen to a song or play a game over and over until I do, the bad side is that I can, at times, have a closed mind to new things or get somewhat obsessed with what I already like. (Ie, sticking to a few genres only) Luckily Ne enjoys novelty so I don't stay closed for long.

@@vazzaroth I think it's more a Ti thing. Wanting to break down how it works. There may also be a Ti connection to what you like which makes it possible to dissect why you like it but maybe feelers don't like things for Ti reasons and therefore can't even theoretically break it down into words. (I happen to believe that there's always a reason for what makes good art. Being able to define it and articulate it is hard.)

It's interesting cause I feel like for me, it's the opposite. Im usually pretty confident in what I know unless it's a topic I haven't learned. However I'm usually unsure of how people will respond or are feeling in the group. So I'd rather just keep my ti logic to myself so I won't upset anyone or ruin the group vibe. I'll end up just saying, "I'll do whatever you guys wanna do" or just do my own thing in the way I've thought through

That's not how it works, they are using Ti and Si and avoiding Ne to struggle through Te like functioning

Great suggestion! Yes, I can.

Agreed on all counts. I am Ti dom and I heard once "You can't use Ti and Fe at the same time" and kind of assumed that was the typical "logic VS feeling" metaphore. Hearing this (I don't hear much about energy in MBTI personally) , I wonder if THIS is the real reason why. It's just too hard to "run" both program functions at the same time. I see my INFJ wife having trouble using both Fe and Ti, but I also notice she CAN seem to use them at the same time but for me, I basically can't. Not fully at least. I chalk that up to them being in her middle slots and both of them function a little less than my Ti at her "full force" but there's some problems she can address much better with a balanced approach, whereas I struggle if my Ti isn't sufficient for a solution. I actually have a youtube video coming out about this literally tomorrow, haha.

@@vazzaroth Energy in MBTI is rarely thought of but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I've got a Fi hypothesis but I'll give you the Te guarddog answer anyway. Nardi has measured brain activity of certain activities in "Our brains in color". Certain cognitive activities like maths and use cell phone measure the highest in wattage in his chart.

@@vazzaroth I think it’s the same for any function in the top slot. I have trouble using Si in conscious way when using Ne.

@@vazzaroth I think you can improve using the inferior function if you’re exposed to a healthy user of it as a dominant function. It just takes practice.

Extremely well put, Andrew. I always enjoy reading your comments whenever you post! Thank you for understanding us Fe-Ti users so well. :) The compulsion to placate and smooth over the emotional tension in a room is real.

if i’m close to someone who is also Fi-Te in either order, i will usually open up with the Fi (unless it’s an area in which they’ve proved themselves untrustworthy, i can sometimes be selective in that regard), which will hopefully encourage them to do the same, and then probably brainstorm ways to solve (with Te) any issues that need solving. there’s also a helluva lot of ”putting the world to rights”, which to the outside (Fe) observer, it can sometimes seem a bit categorical, ”impolite” and even aggressive. check out Joyce’s INFP only vids for examples of the ”passion” 😃 if i know an Fe user can handle this approach, i’ll use it with them too. otherwise, they won’t really get very much out of me on a personal level. i’m either authentic or not at all 😆

@@AS-jq4lb ah thanks for you reaction. So the beginning of what you write is a bit like I described. Also, you mention "putting the world to rights". What does that sentence mean? English is not my native language? Do you mean like social justice worrior things? And what is categorical? Putting people in boxes you mean? Also, what do you mean with either authentic *or not at all* . Either authentic or not at all authentic or either authentic or you are not there at all? (like no contact?)

@@PowerRedBullTypology ”putting the world to rights” means discussing world problems (often loudly and possibly angrily) and attempting to come up with solutions. ”categorical” is used in the sense of having very definite views about something. and ”not at all” means that if i can’t be authentic in a conversation, i probably won’t bother with the conversation at all, at least if i can avoid it. i feel uncomfortable tiptoeing around people (and by that i mean having to use more Fe than i’m capable of).

@@AS-jq4lb Oh yeah, world problems. I have Fi dom or aux friends who do the same thing (getting all angered by stuff like that, so indeed sounds like a pattern). I also recognize the thing you experience with Fe, but then I have it with Te as dom Ti user. When there an individual or even more so group all believe a certain thing is true (usually the consensus, the common belief) then I have a hard time acting like I think like them when I do not. Possibly what you experience with being authentic, is what I experience with not being feeling I can be authentic with what I belief to be true. Fi and Ti want no filters whereas Fe and Te have them (but different ones).

@@PowerRedBullTypology yes, you got it - although rather than ”no filter” i would say ”my own filter”, not ”society’s filter”.

interesting..can you elaborate about the 'deserve' thing? What do you think you 'deserve' ? Is it that you mean you perceive that you do not deserve much or do you mean that the concept of 'deserving' does seem foreign to you?

@@PowerRedBullTypology I'm actually putting the finishing touches on a video that sort of covers this as an INTP (Mainly overcoming inferior Fe) but to summarize: 1. I know there are people in society that have MUCH MUCH less than I. (Lower-middle class white guy from a managerial-class family) 2. I also know there are people with MUCH MUCH more than I, and EVEN MORE than the people who are below me. 3. I have my basic needs met, but I"m not happy that often, on the whole. 4. Therefor, I want the people who are not getting their basic needs met to have theirs met FIRST (Ie, if something good is "coming", I'd prefer it was defferred to them first, then I can have what I 'want' after they get what they 'need', if that makes sense) So for me to say "I want a job I like ( a want) and that pays well" (A mix of want and need), it feels like a seriously self-centered thing to me. And, to a degree, it objectively is. That's what Fi is, being self centered. Not always to a character-flaw level, but with Fi being my EIGHTH function, it's the thing I am the LEAST uncomfortable with. There is basically no time in life that I stop seeing "society" and just see myself, unless perhaps when I'm in a Ti-flowstate. (writing, some video games, system(s) creation/interaction) I recently described having inferior Fe to my wife as "Wanting to be the last one to get on the lifeboat" and that I largely view myself as a tool rather than a tool-user. I have this impulse to "sacrifice" myself at all times, and the only time I can suppress that (without significant internal effort) is when I put individual people in the "bad person" or "bad faith" bucket. Like someone that proves they are anti-social/selfish/unable to be worked with. Then I "turn off" my Fe for them and I will never go out of my way for them, and there's a shortlist of repeat offender I consider enemies at this point. (Luckily, none are required to be in my life any longer.) Plus, mix that with having Ti high in my stack and I have sets of "If-Then" rules that get people into the bucket unless they can prove otherwise. (Ne is constantly pinging for updates, never closing the door like an Ni person may.) I guess that's what they mean with Ti and INTPs being judgement-focused Perceivers. I have found many people don't like to be clued in that I'm running this kind of analysis program at ALL times, but it's the truth. I don't tell most people, is all.

@@vazzaroth Why can’t you judge them and then work with them anyway? Sorry for the question, I just don’t get why you need to throw them out as if a bad person, judging someone as bad is fine, but why do you need to see yourself as sacrificing yourself if that person is bad? Maybe you need to change the programming that putting yourself first is bad, and that people will Fe hate you for it. We can work with our inferior function, it’s hard for everybody too, but maybe putting yourself first is in fact what will make the tribe value you more.

Sorry I’m an entp I didn’t mean to come across as a know it all, Im probably more clueless than most people, I have so many struggles with my inferior too. It was just my opinion.

@@hirsch4155 "Why can’t you judge them and then work with them anyway?" Who said I don't? To be clear, the "bad people bucket" is for people that I consider too far gone, too rotten and deep in a superego (or something) to be willing to do anything in good faith. There's, like, 6 people in that bucket that I know IRL. Additionally, you didn't have context for this but, I'm mainly speaking in a client relationship at work. So at a certain point, if I'm having a personality clash (Ie, someone who seems ONLY hostile to my view) it's in my and my company's best interest to seperate us, regardless of why. I suppose this is always the problem with revealing this type of programming (Also, you say to change it, as if I can just move my Ti to another slot.), everyone brings THEIR rules in and assumes I use THEIR rules as the standard. My Ti rules are quite functional because I give people the benfit of the doubt often. Usually, I notice, my benefit of the doubt extends FAR beyond the average person's. It's only after repeated "bad faith" actions that you even get CLOSE to going in the bucket. Only people that trend hostile or do one particularly bad faith action that they go IN. And of course, no one is in there forever, if they improve their behaviour. It's always up to them to be responsible for how they're perceived, if you ask me. If you WANT to be a tyrant who yells at people, belittles folks who try their best (Not me, btw, I can take. My Fe mostly defends others), or put zero effort into understanding others, then go right ahead. But I, personally, will not be there to help, support, or interact with you and I certainly won't reccomend that any else does, either. What I try to avoid (although my animal brain wants me to with 3rd slot Si) is put entire demographics of people in the bucket at once. I used to when I was younger, btw. There's no way I can know EVERY person in that demographic, so to make a judgmeent would be irresponsible. I theorize most of this type of judgement happens below cognition/conciousness for feeler types. I'm just a Ti-dominant who is fine being an extrovert when online so I'm sharing how my thinking presents itself in the absence of just "gut" feelings when it comes to social interaction. (Your 2nd comment is a great example of "good faith", btw, at least by my definition. Stating clear intention, making sure the other party understands what you are asking and why you need it, so there is no room for misinterpretation and "social lies". An honest question with true curiosity behind it, presumably, with the goal of mutual understanding. Now THAT is the kind of social interaction I love, even as an introvert! Even if people disagree with me, we can do so while still respecting the other person. It's just hard to live life that way and even I don't get it perfect every time.) Not diagnosed but I MAY be on the autism specturm btw, so whether it's that or being an INTP, I find that my goals with social interaction don't tend to be the same as most people's.

Placating, it isn’t actually placating, it is recognizing the shortest distance between two points, and taking it only when it doesn’t violate our deeper values. We don’t align with placating as a concept, we hate it, but we get how the world works and we work it. Not maliciously, but hopefully usefully. I was a professor, and the classes were very long, so we would have a dinner break in between, and sometimes I would meet a former student for dinner, and one in particular, who was an intj, had the kind of personality I am able to be more myself around. One night I came down to meet her, and I just said “ugghhhh I’m so tired..I’m so glad it’s you because I won’t have to talk much” and she was floored by this. She said she had no idea my personality could be so different from the jovial, energized, warm professor I am when I’m in that role vs. the way I am, in more of a “friend”, role, or around an intj, who just gets that quieter and more critical side of me.

@@hasgoodles7807 I LOVE seeing the more "real" side of INFJs and ENFJs. I wish I could see that side of them more often. I crave it. When I see them relying too much on Fe, it literally makes me sad...like we can't truly connect and I want to connect so much but that Fe often won't allow it. :-(

I too noticed their impression of Fi as “inconsistent”, felt a bit of a cringe inside and I almost commented on their misunderstanding myself (ok I guess now I I have 😂) but then I realized that even though WE Fi users understand that we have our subjective personal consistency and we can see it in other Fi users, I can see that they may not have the nuanced understanding of Fi to be able to get that and I can see why to them it seems random, so I left it alone. They probably feel the same way about our simplified understanding of Ti.

In this context, we were kinda referring to how Fi users will assume someone is feeling a certain way like saying "You're angry right now, aren't you?" when all you're doing is talking slightly loud. I would imagine an ESFJ, in Fe-Ti fashion, is more likely to draw "logical" conclusions about people based on externally observed behavior, like "This person is just angry because they didn't have their coffee". It's possible that the lines here are blurred with an Fe/Te dominant in some cases.

@@Slippernips ohh I see. Okay thanks for the clarification. I can totally see that happening.

Yeah I noticed that too with ESFJs

@@Slippernips Reality TV is a great example of this, since it seems like Fi 1st/2nd folks are pretty much the norm there. This season of the bachelor is great for identifying Fi interactions, lol. Person does something a little weird. Fi people all start gossiping saying they're DEFINITLY doing it for X reason, then cut to that person talking to the camera and saying their reason, and it's way off. What I notice is that likely Fi types (esp people aren't into MBTI) seem to conflate the reason that THEY might do something with the reason why SOMEONE ELSE might do something. Fe or Tx can too, don't get me wrong. but I tend to look for this as a likely Fi indicator. (Esp if they're obsessed with this logical fauilure)

@@vazzaroth I respectfully disagree. As an Fi user I absolutely hate gossip. Not only that but I usually don't even have theories about people's behaviors as I tend to care more about my own emotional/internal world than other's (unless someone is going through something bad and they need emotional help from me). My way of interacting with the world is live and let live.. Fi is quite internally focused, whereas Fe is external and more prone to discussing other people's behaviors. Let's agree to disagree.

Boris identifies as Play first!

@@JoyceMeng22 Thx !!

Definitly true, but also for Fi users: Don't assume that you're the center of the universe. If YOU had a problem with something happening, it's up to, indeed, YOU to explain the reasons why others should change or do something about it. If that boils down to "Becuase you make me feel bad", that's ok, but you also need to understand that some situations are inherently "bad" for feelings. In a work enviroment, some jobs simply aren't for high feeling folks. I work as an internet moderator and I've reviewed hundreds if not thousands of pictures of murder scenes, gore, etc. I'm a thinker and honestly it doesn't bother me that much. I've seen plenty of folks come and say "Yes! I can handle this!" and then have to quit after a week because it was affecting them. And I always appreciate those that do, since they clearly mis-estimated or didn't know themselves very well and capitalism encourages people to lie to get access to funds to live. But we can't change the entire world around you, sometimes YOU need to understand that YOU (and your feeligns) are the outlier here. TLDR: The world functions with both Fe and Fi working together and people, through the process of maturing, need to work on understanding themselves to know what they can do and identify when they are met with something they cannot do.

@@vazzaroth Thank you. All feelings are valid however, it's what you do with them that counts. It's worth pointing out that most Fi people don't assume they are the center of the universe, just like most Fe users don't lack a spine/agree with you just to fit in. Most people are just being themselves, regardless of other people's interpretations. "In a work enviroment, some jobs simply aren't for high feeling folks." - Sure, just like some work environments simply aren't for highly rational folks. But most workplaces require people with different kinds of strengths to work together. Great leaders know how to leverage those strengths towards a common goal without trying to force fit everyone into a single box. Let's not assume rational individuals don't pose any problems at a workplace.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it, @bett! 🙂

Your weekend studies sounds more like your Te. Ti is not a gathering function like that. Or, if it truly is “useless meanderings”, then it could be your Fi and Se having some fun as a relief from the daily struggle of using Ni/Te.

Hi my love 🥺♥️

As an INTP married to an INFJ, I can say that the Ni women seem to love us Ti-dom men... I'm not sure why... but I am very thankful!

Well, I'm single again and I stumbled into your comment so now's your chance.

@@vazzaroth i agree w that😹

LOL MY SIXTH GRADE TEACHER SAID THE SAME THING. I don’t move my mouth enough when I talk 😂 thanks for making me laugh today. -Natalie

@@thatoneisfj2810 you gotta make those luscious lips work girl :p

Well, she said she continued thinking about it, that's the real interesting thing; I would just stop caring about it in a few days, maybe weeks if it was very important

@@giacomocasartelli5503That is interesting. Do you think it has to do with cognitive functions? I am trying to remember a conversation i had before or recently and i can't remember anything too (but that is because i think my head is rotting) i don't trust my memories and will write down important details or important events. I don't even memorize my phone number or even google password. I always wrote it down somewhere

@@hanjesse31 As far as I know lower Si (maybe even Se), may be a cause of bad memory and difficulty in remembering details.

@@giacomocasartelli5503 Or could it be that our brain can be lazy too specially when we take notes and save that ''memory'' externally because we find it dependable? Or as we get old the brain naturally can only hold certain informations and automatically trash old unused information. I remember in 2nd grade we were taught to recite the multiplication table and now i can't recite it, i solve it traditional way or calculator. Although our teacher said calculator makes the brain lazy... but even if we use a calculator, we still ask how the answer came to be and compute it traditionally. Right? Can our brain be lazy

@@hanjesse31 Our brain can indeed be lazy, but I think it has nothing to do with rote memorization. I study mathematics and I can't remember many of the formulas I've learned through my studies, but I don't deem my brain to be lazy; in fact I think it has more to do with how much you are willing to challenge your brain with interesting problems or discussions. Also, I think saving memory externally is necessary if you don't want to risk losing it and particularly in our society it's dumb to spend useful time memorizing something that you can usually find in little to no time: one should focus on learning concepts and skills or on creating abstract principles or systems to apply in everyday life's problems.

Lol, I do the same thing. Making stuff up on the fly, but then the other person would keep thinking about it and I'd have moved on. It can be really fun when I make the claim that something is wrong and then be put on the spot and have to weasel my way out with a good enough answer to get out of trouble lol