Todd is a beast. He actually explains the psychology and social context behind what’s being said. Too many pick up artists give a plan A plan B plan C approach without actually knowing anything.
I like how eloquently he responded to your mundane question about differences between approaching different girls based on race. His response was so much more accurate to the differences....it’s not because she’s black or white it’s because of her experiences how she was raised etc....don’t stereotype because you don’t want to be put in a bubble then why do it to women?
Todd has been putting me on game for years. He's the only "PUA" who doesn't come off as gimmicky or coked out of his mind. His style of game helped me out so much because he shows you can be a bit lower energy and still control social situations.
Lmao, ya'll always to quick shit on Pickup and call it manipulation. You learn how to do every single thing in life. Meeting women should be one of them, instead of being creepy about it. At the end, everybody wins. Enough with the stigma. There is good and bad in every sphere in life. This was a very good episode Hafeez. We appreciate the good content.
Everybody is talking about how much of a master Todd is - but can we take a moment to appreciate how good of an interviewer Hafeez is? Conversations like that are only possible if the partner has the ability to lead an interview in the manner he does! He is prepared for his guests, he has the ability to give engaging, open questions, he elaborates on his thoughts but then gives room for his interviewée to really elaborate themselves! In the end it makes it really compelling to listen to for the audience!
@TripJay21 You might be surprised as I give advice that a lot of women hate! I'm always open to oppositional dating and relationship advice. I welcome the conversation for sure. I will NEVER cosign the "hook-up" culture though! It's mentally damaging to people, men and women. I heard him talk about his "open" relationship with his child's mother and I don't agree with that as it truly benefits HIM more than her! I wonder what would happen if she did decide to date other men (i.e: better men than him!)?
Attractiveness and looks is important but I find it interesting how it's always the #1 for these guys then complain about failing relationships. I'm not saying date Rosie O'Donnell but if you cant hold a conversation but she's a dime piece, we'll i guess you deserve what you get.
THANK YOU. I can’t believe how this guy is “getting away with” generalizing that models and 10s and hot girls are all “bad”. It’s rly ignorant and childish
I hear u. Maybe he doesn’t generalize in other areas but when it comes to the way he talks about models and hot girls it’s bogus. A talk he gives to a bunch of dudes in another vid- He harps on this story abt spending the night w 2 models and proceeds to harshly criticize everything about them. Painting them out to be total trash to make a point about models in general. And it’s rly unfortunate bc there’s going to be a bunch of dudes who eat this up and missing out on women w certain professions which aren’t always long term. FOR SAKE OF ARGUMENT and not ego (my name isn’t on my profile etc)- A few of my girlfriends that I model with and I are all getting quality educations, date good guys who aren’t male models and just authentic good people - who are sometimes physically “untraditionally attractive”, ones at harvard, one is a lawyer, Myself a therapist and so on. So for people who say don’t watch it then/why do you care... It manifests in our lives. We end up having frustrating interactions with dudes who in some way or another express this negative opinion about us and it becomes our responsibility to disprove it. It’s really doing a disservice to men who are minimizing their dating pool.
Junior Ducatel Where are you from? I’m in Charlotte, NC and I feel similar to how you feel only in regards to men. I know they’re out here but 👀....lol.... 🤷🏾♀️
The one video of this guy that has stuck with me the most is when he talked about being polite. If i'm ever a douche bag, i'm embarrassed and i know it's always a sign of weakness. being polite and considerate
What Todd said 43:30 is so on point, I have and seen countless of other guys behave that same way - get very excited about some girl who showed the faintest of interest. I also agree with guys getting overly invested because of a lack of options, one thing I've thought about when I find myself "lonely" or craving a relationship is this - "do I actually want a GF or do I just want convenient sex" - to be honest, I can't tell anymore.
This is my second time watching this interview. I enjoyed it even more this second time I watched it. You do an excellent job of pulling out great info from your guests. Would love to see you interview Coach Kyle. He used to be a student of Todd. And, he has his own unique style of game which is based upon some of Todd's concepts.
Ladies and roommates,we have just hit a next level shit up in here. This guy has been the one who sticks in the trenches,making the calls to people and getting the nos,other homie has his own stuff going. But brother no matter what any of these people criticizing in commentsyself included,but while your actually doing. Proud of ya fam,keep learning,keep working, and keep putting that foot forward cause it inspires me too.
Such good advice for guys. I have been so discouraged with the character of the guys that I have been in contact with. It is so important for guys to remember that good women do not want a guy who is interested in all the girls. We understand that you are a person too, how else do you meet someone unless you just start somewhere.
( 52:00 ) This is interesting. There was a study made how the subject could only choose one prize from a group of 3. The subjects had a hard time choosing 1 but after a week they were asked if they would like to change their prize and they were less likely to change because they had history w/ it. This also applies to wemdn to an extent.
"across the board in life, but especially in game, is if you truly accept who you are and are okay with it, it's very very hard to lose a social interaction like to lose I mean like to be low value in a social interaction if you really are okay with who you are." (59:40 - 1:00:05) - Todd Valentine To anyone watching this, the quote above is perhaps the strongest piece of advice Todd has ever given. If you apply it correctly, you can become socially indestructible within my opinion. More often than not people are told, "Be yourself!" This advice is honestly helpful, but without a properly detailed explanation of its meaning, people can lose themselves in applying it. From my experience, I have found being yourself is to align yourself with your beliefs and passions. When learning game, I would copy Todd's lines like, "You look like trouble." There is nothing inherently wrong with this line, but if it is used un-authentically when you do not actually think the girl looks like trouble, here I believe it becomes unauthentic. You would not be spontaneous and neither would you be passionate saying it. If you look at the girl and preferably think she looks sweet, cute, mischievous, --- say that instead. In game, there are strong risks of embarrassing yourself, and maybe even making yourself feel guilty through others disliking you. If you however, don't think or feel what you did was wrong, never lower yourself because of it: There are 8 billion people in the world, all of whom could be potential friends or romantic partners. If these hypothetical group of people do not like you, who are probably assholes in the first place, it wasn't meant to be; go find a crowd which genuinely appreciates you, there is PLENTY of them.
It's so shameful; many people do this but don't know. As a black woman, sometimes I've been on dates with white guys (okay, this only happened once), and toward the end he was like, "I thought you'd have a lot of sass and 'attitude', but you're really nice - it's a pleasant surprise". And then it hit me! Before meeting me 1-1, he already had assumptions placed on me based on the profile of the stereotypical angry black woman. I was like damnnnn. I'm sure he didn't mean it in a bad way at all, but his statement exposed his preconceived notions regarding people like myself (which he had projected onto me before we had even met for a first date).
This is what podcasts are all about yall. Please forgoe others personal to your individual values and opinions,and the way you choose to see things. We come together to have open decorem and hear others out that we don't agree with and that's ok, it's got to be how were moving forward with each other. Great shit man..
Travis Shops you guys are stupid Todd is insanely logical and pragmatic he dosent put women on a pedestal he digs deep into their behavior and emotions and finds out why they behave like they do. In a Dating context. I’ve seen Todd and ams they preach the same things. I’ve seen a bunch of other teachers as well and they all kinda say the same things in different ways.
Todd V is so insightful! I love his videos. I’m not surprised to hear he’s in an open relationship. He’s a guy open to real discussions and setting his own boundaries. Great conversation!
I wish there were more women like you that try to understand first, instead of shaming. I'm not lying when I say that Todd and the other OG puas are saving lives. Both men and women of all sexualities look to them for guidence, myself included. But most women in the comment section just think of themselves.
I have an answer for the last question on this podcast. Texting is for setting dates. Shouldn't really text much outside of that. Also, communication is like a game of tennis. Back and forth. It's best to wait for her to respond before sending another text. Otherwise you'll come off as needy.
Great podcast. I also think that not only do guys get more attached to a girl because they have fewer options, but also guys are attracted to a girl's physical appearance so you don't really need much time to get to know her, whereas for a girl she's more attracted to other characteristics in a guy (eg. money, social status, personality, etc.) so the short interaction you have with a girl isn't gonna to showcase enough of that for her to be attracted to you.
I just started going out. Slow progress for massive compounding returns. Glad I found this talk. Specially Todd, I kinda have a road map on how to keep going.
Please don't use this as a roadmap. Ok I am noticing by the comments that a lot of people who watched this are early 20ish. Baby let me tell you I'm 40 and even men want to have a "good" woman in their life when they get old. Don't play games. Work on yourself. Set the proper boundaries and limitations. Live the life you want to live and you will meet the person you want to be with. If you believe you are deserving of a healthy relationship with a good woman you will get that. Don't start this bs because believe me when I say it may be fun at 20 but it is sad at 40 50. And since that is what you have practiced for the last 20-30 years your mindset isn't just going to switch because you want to settle down. You will find "the one" and sabotage it subconsciously because you are so use to treating and thinking of women in such a way. Then you will blame her but it was really you. Yes you get hurt being the good guy but you also get hurt being the bad guy. The strategy he is talking about only works in real life if you have a lot of money or you are dating bottom buck insecure women. Then what type of person are you if you have to pay for female attention or prey on the weak?
@@pembertonbray4603 Please leave this poor guy alone. Most men already know about your advice. If it worked we wouldn't be here. You are only hurting men with that or worse, encouraging men not to learn how to attract women. Todd has been approaching ALL types of women from all over the world for 20 years straight. He outranks you in terms of real world advice.
@@rubenjr4908 No dear bullshit just attracts alot of flies. You have no idea how much dating I've done. If I've played Todd's little game or if I'm a nun. People gravitate to want validates their behavior even if it's shit. It's easier than attempting the problem is you.
21:00 That was such a sharp/harsh stereotype. One thing I would say is be careful, because when you think of someone in a certain light - before even getting to know them - even the way you speak to them changes! You might unintentionally end up approaching the black woman in a more aggressive way because you subconsciously think she's not warm. Well of course it'll backfire, and then you'll walk away thinking "exactly, I called it. She was not cool". Kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy you unknowingly engineered. A lot of black women actually struggle with this (that is, seeing men approach other women nicely and respectfully, but then approach them with significantly less respect and charisma). It's sad, and I see it a lot.
He’s just relating to his own experiences. Not just black women but most native New York girls are way colder than your stereotypical southern white girl.
What are some good go-to's early in an interaction if you're having trouble thinking of something to say? Not necessarily canned lines, just general things that easily lead to more conversation. For example, I think a good one is "I thought you looked interesting and wanted to say hi, ..." and then follow it up with pretty much anything unique or interesting you can observe about her like her choice of clothing or hairstyle or hair color or her demeanor or the way she carries herself, etc. It's very easy to just kind of improvise something on the spot and I think lines like these that have very intuitive follow ups can be pretty helpful for someone who's maybe just starting out. It might not be the best approach or the coolest or whatever, but it's something you can sort if build off of instead of just having an awkward interaction where you don't know what to say.
@@TheRoommatesPodcast your show's "brand" has always been very positive and safe. Its works for you guys but I'm surprised you were open to having Todd on here as I imagine pickup is not seen kindly among your viewers.
21:00 Yeah Hafeez, stay away from stereotypes bro, especially against your own women. That part of the video was hella cringey. There's PLENTY of warm black girls from the south, and there's plenty of not so warm white girls from the south. I can't speak for the north since I'm not from there.
So maybe it is because I'm 40 and the roommates are 20ish but and this is to all of you men. Words chose says a lot about you. Using the word girl 100+x's, women just a handful of times, men/guys always and boys never. You will never find quality if you see women as girls. So much I could say just about that mindset but I don't have the time.
It's not that deep tbh. Guys don't use "girls" as a demeaning way towards women like women do with "boys". They pretty much use girls/women interchangeable bc we don't really look at words that deeply in typical conversation.
@@ablebodied175 You may not but if you read the comments on this alone a lot of men do and they are purposely using it, among other terms to demean women.
@@ablebodied175 they try so hard cuz they have don't *know* what'll work. Thinking if you restrict the words to control your mindset is more likely to just increase how seriously you take yourself... Which is not attractive.
why did you give a negative stereotype "as an example" about black chicks, dude? Even the host felt uncomfortable and had to school you. IJS. I can tell you been trying to educate yourself but, um, awwwk-ward.....
yeah i felt very awkward as i heard that. Like what the fuck was that comment. I don't think its appropriate to ask a white man about how black woman are so unapproachable.
