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Toddler Tantrums? This has worked SO well for us! 

Hey Shayla
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Toddler Tantrums? This has worked SO well for us!
#howtotalktolittlekids #terrible2s #heyshayla #boundrysettingage
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I started reading listening to "How to talk so little kids will listen" and it has been a GAME CHANGER in our house!
Book: amzn.to/3V1HtnB
Lots of things that are counterintuitive like don't say "good job", or "be careful" or talking MORE about what they want even though they can't have it
Instead of "terrible 2s" I've learned to look at it as "the boundary setting age!" and I LOVE this shift for talking to my toddler!
These things all sounded crazy to me, but after putting some into practice I honestly couldn't believe how much it changed our struggle and changed my relationship with my toddler!
I hope this video helps you and I'd love to know anything that has worked with your child!
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Chapters
00:00 Terrible Twos?
00:10 How to talk to your toddler
01:06 Acknowledge your toddlers needs and wants
03:41 Get into your toddlers world
04:42 We rearranged the house
06:32 Play Pretend!
08:19 Tend to the child who will remember...?
09:03 Including the new child
10:24 Other family member do the same
11:09 Having inanimate objects talk
11:41 Treat your toddler with respect and understand that they have feelings
12:17 Acknowledge their experience to avoid a toddler tantrum
12:54 3 Counter-intuitive ways to talk to your toddler
13:29 “you did it!” Another way to say "good job"
14:12 Don't say “Be careful!” to your toddler
14:25 Leaning into what they want to avoid a toddler tantrum
14:49 Parenting Book Recommendations
17:00 Danish Way of Parenting- Boundary setting age
19:56 What has helped you?

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27 июн 2024

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Комментарии : 283   
@heyshayla
@heyshayla Год назад
Baselayer: www.heyshayla.com/iksploryt Discount code: HEYSHAYLA Book: amzn.to/3V1HtnB Amazon book recommendations: a.co/b49QbjM
@user-pn8jx6fw7l
@user-pn8jx6fw7l Год назад
I read somewhere "They aren't giving you a hard time, they're having a hard time" and that really resonated with me. My babe is only 8 months old but I'll still say that in my mind when he's feeling fussy or having a hard time settling.
@heyshayla
@heyshayla Год назад
Love this so much
@audrieking7109
@audrieking7109 Год назад
LOVE THAT!
@rmelper
@rmelper Год назад
So freeing to escape the mentality that kids are deliberately causing us grief.
@Abcdefghijajajaja
@Abcdefghijajajaja Год назад
Exactly. My mom told me before havin kids. They are victims of the « terrible twos » they aren’t bad❤️❤️people tend to get real negative around that. It is hard but they are having a hard time❤️
@emilys3638
@emilys3638 Год назад
This is gold. Yes. Reframing it to realize they're struggling, and expressing that to you because they trust you and feel safe to let you know how they feel instead of suppressing it (and blowing up later) is a mindset that has helped me immensely.
@user-rd5cb3cc3b
@user-rd5cb3cc3b Год назад
Using First and Then statements has been my biggest life saver. For example, my daughter might be having a tantrum because she wants to go outside but she needs to get dressed/put on shoes. I can say “First get dressed, Then outside” and it snaps her out of the tantrum. We repeat it several times while we get dressed and the. ALWAYS follow through. Once they learn that you will follow through with the sequence of events it is soooo helpful.
@heyshayla
@heyshayla Год назад
Yeeeeeees
@elisemo6038
@elisemo6038 Год назад
Parents who play pretend with their children don't realize what a wonderful impact they make. My mom always played pretend with me- I remember so vividly, and I'm convinced she's the reason I excel with my creative writing, and anything that really involves creativity and problem-solving. My parents made a lot of mistakes [they were very young when I was born], but I'll always remember her saying "Let's pretend..." This is something I can't wait to share with my daughter, who will be here in April!
@caterinas6863
@caterinas6863 Год назад
Was your daughter born? Congratulations !
@KelsieCakes
@KelsieCakes Год назад
“Their job is to test our boundaries and our job is to enforce them” is what I try to remember. It’s not manipulative or malicious, they’re really just trying to figure out the rules of the road 🤷🏼‍♀️ the biggest blessing for me has been seeing a therapist who primarily works with new moms. I’m able to work on my own emotional regulating and try to model that.
@heyshayla
@heyshayla Год назад
I love that idea!!
@janiekrahulcova9321
@janiekrahulcova9321 Год назад
"Parenting is a lot of unlearning all of these habits you've learned" Now that just hits home. Also the bit about modelling the behaviour you want to see is soooo true! These two together make parenting so much fun but also so challenging.
@amendez4922
@amendez4922 6 месяцев назад
😊😊p😅😅😅😊o😊😊
@laurengallego1709
@laurengallego1709 Год назад
This is exactly what I needed! Something I say when I can’t understand my 23 month old is “show me” and he stops being frustrated and walks me to whatever he needs or whatever so that I understood and then I give him the words. That has been helpful for us. I also read the whole brain child and no drama discipline- they are good! I actually learned from my kid at like 18 months that acting like I didn’t understand him rather than acknowledging him and saying no, ended up being worse. They really do just want to be understood!
@heyshayla
@heyshayla Год назад
Exactly!!!
@bakerbrewz
@bakerbrewz Год назад
Such a powerful truth! Don't all people just want to be understood? I feel like children remind us of just how to be good people in so many of life's common situations.
@jaynadavis696
@jaynadavis696 Год назад
"SHE ACCEPTED A PRETEND POPSICLE" I love it.
@emilyhudson8455
@emilyhudson8455 3 месяца назад
Just discovered you, I’m a new momma of two under two. An 18 month old and a one month old. Loving how you focus on real honest advice, not just what looks good or product placement. Thank you for what you do!!! I’m making a reading list. Hope these are on audible cause let’s be honest I have no time to read haha
@CassieDeJarnett
@CassieDeJarnett Год назад
I know you’ve talked about Montessori ideas and creating “yes” zones but I worked with a really smart children’s photographer once and she did the same philosophy for getting great photos of the kids. Handing them blocks or trains or other aesthetic “on theme” items to play with in front of the camera instead of just trying to make a toddler sit still and smile which we all know is a recipe for disaster 😂 She got the greatest images that way so it’s something I’m doing anytime I try to take photos of my daughter!
@mrssarahquick
@mrssarahquick Год назад
I love telling my toddler “wait! What are the clues telling you?” And he’ll be like “oh steam! It’s hot!” and in addition to barefoot shoes I love “do you feel safe?” whenever we’re at the playground and I start getting nervous. I loved watching this! Thank you so much for putting it together. I share some of the same favorite parenting books as you. I love the humble way you bring all to light! Thank you! And good luck on your parenting adventures!!!
@luedkepack
@luedkepack Год назад
You're not just a better mom, you're a better communicator. You are utilizing these skills with your children now but they are exactly the way you should be interacting with adults also. My husband and I have been fighting a lot since having our baby why? Because he doesn't take the time to see and acknowledge my struggles and listen and see things from my perspective. All we want as humans is to be see and heard and understood.
@gabss9231
@gabss9231 Год назад
Ending statements with okay was something massive I had to unlearn when I worked with little kids. Instead of saying "let's put our shoes on now, okay?" Just say "we need to put our shoes on." By adding the okay, you've made it a question and the option to say "no." That's where the options are great like you said "blue or white shoes."
@dogdonut3
@dogdonut3 Год назад
Yep. Treating children like they are their own human, not just a part of yourself is key. Because as they grow up that turns into a balanced, respectful adult relationship/friendship.
@WhoaLookAtThat321
@WhoaLookAtThat321 Год назад
Love all these tips!! A trick I use is to always give a heads-up when we are leaving somewhere. e.g., "Hey honey, we are going to leave soon, do you want to stay on the swing or go down the slide again before we go"
@summerhillenburg4837
@summerhillenburg4837 Год назад
I think what hit me the most was that parenting is a mirror. Thank you for that reminder I needed that today.
@Learningeveryday27
@Learningeveryday27 Год назад
Involve them in everything and let them help even when the task takes longer!!! Another huge reminder is “Every mess can be cleaned up so let them be messy “ !!
@dawnforlife
@dawnforlife Год назад
HAHAAHAH When you said Aliyah (sorry forgot the spelling) says "Be careful, oh no I'm not supposed to say that." 😂😂😂 The part you talk about making her apologise but you shouldn't. I learnt that we can help them say it like "It can be hard to find your apology voice now. I will use it for you."; "I'm sorry, I really wanted that and it came out as a hit." or something along these lines.
@theholyabigrail
@theholyabigrail Год назад
Book recommendation for raising siblings: "Siblings without Rivalry." I heard a summery on this book a while back, and I think it is RIGHT up your alley, Shayla! It shares a lot of practical tools around how you can foster friendship in their relationship rather than jealousy or competing for your attention. Definitely check it out!!
@heyshayla
@heyshayla Год назад
Omg yes!!!!!! Thank you!!!
@danapettygrove9500
@danapettygrove9500 Год назад
Just about to comment about this book! It's by the same authors as "How to Talk" I have applied a lot of the techniques, and my preschooler hasn't ever shown more than fleeting jealousy of our 9 mo old
@samiyaferguson9177
@samiyaferguson9177 Год назад
Omg pretending!!! Mind blown!!! I’m totally going to use that! Thanks!
@peterpanang
@peterpanang Год назад
this is a good inbetween of whats out there as 'gentle' parenting or from what others gather to mean - no consequences and consequnecial parenting. which is not the case but I think you made a clear distinctions about how to explain and help the child learn and have agency to a degree wtihout it being chaotic.
@dorotadonigiewicz1876
@dorotadonigiewicz1876 Год назад
Thanks for this video- I have older kids, 2 girls aged 7 and 4.5yo. I must say my mum's tip when they were younger was - TALK TALK TALK to the kids. I laugh now cos the negotiation skills of both of my kids are on POINT 🤣
@codedresilience5239
@codedresilience5239 Год назад
You have two kids!!! Omg I watched you when I was pregnant with my little one and she’s 14 months now! Congrats! Your videos helped me so much
@heyshayla
@heyshayla Год назад
Hahahah sure do 😂😂🙌🙌
@dougwedel9484
@dougwedel9484 11 месяцев назад
This is good. When we talk, we talk so others will listen. Same for the youngest children. Freud coined the term the talking cure, where we cure ourselves of emotional problems by talking about them. What I found is he had it wrong. It's actually the listening cure. We value being listened so much. This was brought out in books like The Lost Art of Listening by Michael P Nichols and surprisingly books about hostage negotiating like Never Split The Difference.
@staceyrogers6125
@staceyrogers6125 Год назад
I would say it's good to let them know that something is just for them. My 3 year old has some toys with small parts and we don't want his brother to have it because he puts everything in his mouth. So my oldest has a feeling of ownership and also protection over his brother to keep him safe from choking. It also helps my oldest to understand that he shouldn't take his brother's toys because he has some special toys for himself. My oldest can play by himself with "his" toys in his room and he likes to have that time. He is motivated to keep his toys put away in his room for his brother's safety. Loved your video!
@lesleyadams2544
@lesleyadams2544 Месяц назад
Watching to be a better aunt (if possible 😂😉) great advice!
@g.m9074
@g.m9074 Год назад
My fave "unlearning old parenting habits" advice is asking yourself- is it care or control? When your kiddo wants something and your knee jerk is to say no, stop and ask yourself, am I saying no because it will be harmful or neglectful, etc, or am I saying no to have control. If the answer is control, you're supposed to rethink the request and realize that you might not really need to say no to them after all. It might be something you're hardwired to say no to, like kids picking out their own clothes- are you saying they can't wear what they picked because YOU think it's ugly or mismatched, or is it not appropriate for the weather? If it's just because you think it's ugly- let them wear it anyway.
@heyshayla
@heyshayla Год назад
Love this!
@cinthiaham1517
@cinthiaham1517 Год назад
The words you use to describe your child “a terror” “terrible” “naughty” becomes the way you SEE your child. Words matter, especially if they are being said to the child because then THEY see themselves that way too. I know being a parent is frustrating and this is something I’m working on as a former “bad, naughty, stubborn” kid ❤️
@user-pn8jx6fw7l
@user-pn8jx6fw7l Год назад
Absolutely! I like to frame it as "my baby needs my help to navigate (insert reason they're having a hard time)" Someone isn't "bad" for needing your help
@cristinarubio4362
@cristinarubio4362 Год назад
One of my favorite parenting books is 'unconditional love' by Alfie Kohn. 10/10 recommend . Also the whole brain child is great for understanding kids brains
@rachaelkumarasena678
@rachaelkumarasena678 Год назад
This was very helpful and makes total sense. A lot I already know but like you said at the end it’s about looking in the mirror and changing those habits. I’m really struggling with my 2 year old as he is testing the boundaries and I’m struggling to regulate my emotions. The whole needing to be calm through his feeling is something I’m working on and this video was beautiful insight and reminder to ensure how important it is to do so. I hope I haven’t damaged my son already by getting upset but motherhood is a process and trying to be better at it each day… these videos of yours really help so thank you 🙏🏼
@hellyeah_ellajane
@hellyeah_ellajane Год назад
My friend just sent me this video… it’s my first time watching Shayla’s content and I’m loving her non-curated/non-rehearsed approach to videos, it’s very sincere. A couple of other must-read recommendations are Mindset by Carol Dweck and Outside Kids in an Inside World by Steven Rinella.
@catgeel264
@catgeel264 Год назад
Watching these video's and hearing you say 'it's a lot of unlearning' makes me SO grateful for my own mom, who did all this. Now with my toddler, it's natural for me to do these things and there's very little unlearning to do. So far things go pretty smoothly and I have tons of extra mindspace to be mindful of certain 'extra' aspects I want to teach him. So parents who do struggle with the unlearning, take heart! Your child will benefit greatly from it, AND have it so much easier raising their children when time comes. You are investing not only in yourself, not only in them, but even in the generation after that.
@haleymglick
@haleymglick Год назад
My son is 2 months and I already get “oh I guess I’m not supposed to say that” and this is only the beginning
@heyshayla
@heyshayla Год назад
😂😂😂
@cecilliachi
@cecilliachi Год назад
Janet Lansbury’s “Unruffled” podcast has been life changing for me. She is all RIE😊. I will be checking out some of these books too! Love your channel
@juliabouy
@juliabouy Год назад
Yeah i have only listened to 1 minute of this video but just sounds like all the stuff janet lansbury says
@reinasanchez4822
@reinasanchez4822 Год назад
This helped so much😢, my baby has been doing so many tantrums and I’ve basically done all the “don’ts” from this video. I will start doing all your tips starting tomorrow ☺️Can’t wait for my baby’s reaction and hopefully change in behavior. Will update❤
@caterinas6863
@caterinas6863 Год назад
How did it go? I’m in your situation right now! I want to read the book first as there are a lot of tips
@lolafrogS
@lolafrogS Год назад
This is such a great video. I work in early childhood development and teach respectful and conscious parenting in South Africa, having the outlook that you do and being curious to learn these approaches and how to relate to yourself and your kiddo is one of the biggest factors in nurturing the lifelong relationship that we have with them. You mentioned RIE and with the amount that you have read I feel like you may know quite a bit about the philosophy already but I always recommend Janet Lansbury's No Bad Kids - I'm not sure if someone has already mentioned it in the comments but its one even I refer back to over and over again.
@heyshayla
@heyshayla Год назад
No but i just added it to my list!!! Thank you!
@2lannarc
@2lannarc Год назад
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS. I love it and I really appreciate it ! Such good advice ❤️
@lixx1414
@lixx1414 Год назад
Thank you for these book recs! you are amazing!! love youuu!!
@ashleylim6186
@ashleylim6186 Год назад
Thank you for sharing this video! So helpful
@tiffanyabels8406
@tiffanyabels8406 Год назад
LOVE all of this! Checking out your book recommendations. Your parenting journey feels so relatable to me, thank you so much for sharing 😊
@amesram
@amesram Год назад
Your videos come in so clutch- seriously always at the perfect time 😅
@dinomauss1157
@dinomauss1157 Год назад
This channel is gold
@sophieedens9928
@sophieedens9928 Год назад
So insightful! And thank you for the book recommendations - adding all of them to my reading list :)
@applepieyumyumyum
@applepieyumyumyum Год назад
This is so helpful! Thank you so much! What an amazing job you are doing, mama!
@play4alley
@play4alley Год назад
Aww, I'm so impressed! You are such a great mom.
@torirobinson6860
@torirobinson6860 Год назад
I loved all of this and you!!
@ailicec3855
@ailicec3855 Год назад
Thank you for this video Just a comment on the food possession part: I say This food is for momma, dad, toddler, and baby can have it when baby has teeth or is sitting up or walking or … At least for us my toddler knows that all the food is for everyone (except our dog cause he has a sensitive tummy lol). But it includes the baby so she doesn’t get possessive w/ food with baby bro … but she does often yell at our dog that our food is not for him 😬😅
@crystallight9038
@crystallight9038 Год назад
You are doing a great job and so relatable! Thanks for trying to be the best mom you can be and sharing about it. 🙏🏼🙌🏼
@ciciv4924
@ciciv4924 Год назад
I love it all! You said so much that I can learn from to do with my toddler!
@elizabethwalker9199
@elizabethwalker9199 Год назад
So much good information here! Thank you for sharing
@desireebarnhill8511
@desireebarnhill8511 Год назад
I really appreciate all the book recommendations!
@ginamarie1411
@ginamarie1411 Год назад
Love this video. I’m gonna watch it 100 more times and check out those books!
@taylormohr8729
@taylormohr8729 Год назад
All of this is an excellent reminder! I love the leaning into what they are asking for or want! Definitely going to try that! Thank you!!
@laurenbisbee7056
@laurenbisbee7056 Год назад
Great video! So many helpful tips!
@letitrejo9332
@letitrejo9332 Год назад
Thank you for sharing your wisdom and experience. Very inspiring content shayla 💚🧚🏽‍♀️
@Becca.Loveless
@Becca.Loveless Год назад
I want to read all of these books now! Thanks for taking the time to summarize and share.
@aubreylittle7333
@aubreylittle7333 Год назад
Got the book from the library soon as I heard you recommend it in another video, excited to read! Love how real you are; it’s refreshing :-) thanks for sharing what you’re learning!
@SimplyThisYoutuber
@SimplyThisYoutuber Год назад
I just watched this because the title made me so interested, but I just have to say you are such a good mom! ❤
@tarotkama
@tarotkama Год назад
I swear you keep changing the game for me 😂❤ thank youuuuuu!!
@zuzanalackova6127
@zuzanalackova6127 Год назад
I have not watched your videos for a while and I am definitely comming back! And checking the podcast. This is so helpful and nice "from one mom to another".
@donotneedtoknow7541
@donotneedtoknow7541 Год назад
Thanks for sharing. It's helpful to hear these basic tips/principles. There are so many opportunities to apply them!
@sallycortez5641
@sallycortez5641 Год назад
I am so so so relieved and happy and many emotions to have found your channel 😭
@cieramark7983
@cieramark7983 Год назад
This whole video is gold🙌
@Dana-mb1hd
@Dana-mb1hd Год назад
i NEEDED this video today as a mama of a toddler i’ve been struggling a bit! Thank you for uplifting me and helping me to understand my toddler better 💖🙏💖🙏
@melissamontes3235
@melissamontes3235 Год назад
I don’t have kids but babysit and watch my nephews a lot. When we’re struggling with going places, I have us race! For example, It’s time to take a bath, I don’t want to, then I start walking toward the stairs and say I’m going to beat you to the bath… then they run to beat be up the stairs 😂 works every time!
@Tanya.Tsarkova
@Tanya.Tsarkova Год назад
The thing when you acknowledge their 'wants' and share the experience - those was very interesting to know. Also thank you for book recommendations. That's ALWAYS appreciated.
@PiperGrl6488
@PiperGrl6488 Год назад
I LOVE this video. Having my mother (our childcare) and my husband watch this. I feel this is all so important to help our toddler be the best she can be ❤
@HannahBMann
@HannahBMann Год назад
Super helpful! The boundary setting age..so true. Revisiting this type of video would be interesting as the kids grow. Loved it!
@nataliedellaselva3642
@nataliedellaselva3642 Год назад
Hahaha loved everything about this video! As a nanny to a newly 2-year-old, I'm excited to add some of these tips to my arsenal. One thing I do is if she has a tantrum, I try to always help her calm down, rather than repeatedly telling her why we can't do something and drawing out the tantrum. Often she just needs to be soothed with some calm music and her teddy bear, and that helps to reset the mood and minimize lengthy tantrums. She now understands that I can help her to calm down, and that is our routine
@thefernmoon
@thefernmoon Год назад
I love how organic you are.
@annevillerot9577
@annevillerot9577 Год назад
I love your channel. Thank you for being so real about the challenges of parenting! It’s a joy and a journey all at once. I am so in love with my 12 month old baby girl and have tried to remind myself of constantly that she is having her own experiences and try to lead her and help her where I can. It makes parenting enjoyable when you view it like this. Thank you for the resources and sharing your experiences! ❤
@positivevibes4930
@positivevibes4930 Год назад
Thanks so much, you’re just 3 month ahead of me so it’s really helpful
@wendyjohnson7834
@wendyjohnson7834 Год назад
Great video thank you. I definitely get down on their level and talk calmly and talk with them about what they’re going thru so they understand that I’m on their side trying to help - it sure is a wild ride. Good luck!
@ElmwoodHeather
@ElmwoodHeather Год назад
Shayla, thank you for the Cliff notes version and your examples. I am reading this book right now and it's mindblowing. I cant recommended it enough!
@carinen8119
@carinen8119 10 месяцев назад
Love it! Pretending is agreat idea. And indeed, regulating our emotions while parenting is one of the hardest things!
@dwaycardinals
@dwaycardinals Год назад
Facts! Parenting is a lot of unlearning and self reflection. It can be a lot. But one day at a time. And a whole lot of grace. This is also so funny on timing. I was just listening to Jennifer Kolari on connected parenting, which her technique seems pretty similar to the main book you discussed.
@elisebeasley481
@elisebeasley481 Год назад
I just love every video you put out! I’m a mom of 2 under 2 so I feel like we’re in a very similar place in life 😭 thanks for sharing all your tips! ♥️
@PLopez-bs5xs
@PLopez-bs5xs Год назад
I LOVE that book! I'm going to have to try the pretend role/playing "game"... my little one is not verbal yet, and not sure he'd get it, but maybe is time to just try it... I love how you put it, "acknowledging not only their feelings but also their experience". Also, great pointers/book highlights. Thanks for your videos Shayla, they're great!
@Lucy-fl7xj
@Lucy-fl7xj Год назад
Ur an inspiration, as always
@kassidylundy9857
@kassidylundy9857 Год назад
Omg I loveeee this video. Every tactic you mentioned will be my new go to! Every single one. My son is only 9 months but I swear he’s a 9 month old toddler. I totally agree with calling the nap early when you realize it won’t happen to avoid getting upset because I’ve been there. Had to do this today. Can’t wait to hear your podcasts on these topics!
@ashleybeazley
@ashleybeazley Год назад
I found this whole technique a lot easier before my daughter got closer to 3 and started getting more sassy and “talking back” and having more big feelings and anger. Parenting is so hard! It’s funny you mention grandma because my MIL always catches herself saying good job and constantly apologizes haha. I told her it’s fine and just like you say explained why I’m trying to say other things. It’s so nice that she buys in to the whole thing though. Especially because she was part time childcare for me before my youngest was born.
@abbieb2480
@abbieb2480 Год назад
Totally IN this season of life right now!! My first-born is 3 and I just had my second in August. These suggestions totally validated how I've been trying to guide my toddler through all these things.
@sarahhernanadez8564
@sarahhernanadez8564 Год назад
Love love love love love love love LOVE this video so much!!!! Mothers empowering mothers, love it! Gentle/Positive parenting is my favorite thing to learn about now that I am a new momma. ❤
@chrissyfrederick3424
@chrissyfrederick3424 Год назад
I needed this. Thank you
@melindaswanson9670
@melindaswanson9670 Год назад
Love this. Most of these techniques I knew but the pretend popsicle idea and talking inanimate objects are great tools I'm going to try.
@buzzi2k
@buzzi2k Год назад
Also currently reading this book and agree that it's brilliant! I've just ordered two of the other books you've recommended on audible
@rayyasunn
@rayyasunn Год назад
Wow this was so great! my son is 15 months so we're just starting the toddler phase and this has given me some great ideas. I've always tried to do the watch your head, watch your feet thing but you gave lots of great advice. Thanks Momma!
@rosegrinzaid7406
@rosegrinzaid7406 Год назад
Omg the pretend popsicle alternative is magic!!!!! Never heard that took before. Thank you!
@MunchyLifeTrinidy
@MunchyLifeTrinidy Год назад
I feel like I’m also where you’re at in trying to learn how to help my own 2 year old. We took the pacifier away recently and nighttime has been a struggle. When she cries or wines I say “do you want me to help you relax? Would you like me to sing to you or hold you” so instead of telling her to stop crying or calm down I’m giving her a distraction to help her to calm down. It’s made such a huge difference. I’m definitely taking some tips from this video
@gelissam321
@gelissam321 Год назад
As a mum of 2 I can relate to everything here! When it comes to your stuff vs. My stuff, we try to say well isn't it nice that baby is interested in looking at your toys & let's take turns. But there a lot of stuff which isn't age appropriate so we have stuff in her room which is hers but she's never been possessive, she's just always said, no you can't play with this because it has small parts or it's not safe for you because your little. Like you've mentioned before going into the "why can't I " etc Keep up the great work Shayla ! X
@user-zo8uv3ok4z
@user-zo8uv3ok4z Год назад
I always get the best advice from ur videos.. thanks a lot
@marybavido6418
@marybavido6418 Год назад
This is soooo good. Also, when you talk to them about what they like about the thing you told them no about, you're demonstrating sympathy for their disappointment and therefore allowing them to express that they're sad. I let the bond that it has created with my kids. I never got onto my kids (my kids are 4, 2, and 1) whenever they cried or screamed when we left the park ( Yes, other parents stared. It was hard. Lol). Every time we went, it got better and better because they realized that they weren't alone in their disappointment, we can go to the park multiple times. It was so sweet for them when we pulled up to the park and looked at me like, "Wow! We're back! Mom can be trusted." ❤️
@breitfart5285
@breitfart5285 Год назад
I also try not to say “good job” because I don’t like that it’s an evaluation and I don’t want my son to grow up feeling like he needs to perform and impress me. I know that’s not our intent when we say “good job” but it feels like I’m promoting that pattern if I say it. My husband thinks I’m crazy and I’m like “duh, I’m trying break the cycle.” Instead I say “you got it” or “you did it!” My son has loved climbing since he could move around and instead of “good job!” when he climbs to the top of a hill or whatever I say “you’re a little mountain goat!” It’s not cold, it’s just trying to remove the judgment aspect and focus on celebrating them and their growth regardless of how well they did something. Anyway, thanks for the book recommendations! I will def be trying the tactic you used with the cake pops. ☺️
@jessicarutherford1153
@jessicarutherford1153 Год назад
This has really stopped me in my tracks and made me think, thank you for sharing! I have a 15m old and a 2m old and as we enter the toddler stage during a transition to having a new sibling, I have been tested beyond what I could ever have imagined. This reframing helps so much and I want to start implementing a lot of it now as I'm sure it will be so beneficial in navigating this season (and the ones yet to come!)
@kathrynsiuciak1594
@kathrynsiuciak1594 Год назад
This is so playful, your like a really smart kid who is mindful around them lol my baby is only 2 1/2 months but ive already been noticing how im talking to her and i do say good job and be careful etc which is fine but im trying to get a head start on re programming myself so when its time its easier for me to also share with my hubby and also keep things chill at the get go. This is awesome, love your videos your an awesome mom!!
@GirlMamaOf3
@GirlMamaOf3 Год назад
This is so perfect for us right now. My first is 3. My second is 2. And my third is a couple months old. We are going through sooo many big emotions all at once. We play pretend sometimes but never even realized how it could benifit in so many other times. I wave my hands around pretending to do magic to "help" my child do something they've suddenly "forgotten" how to do. These are wonderful tips! Thank you!
@anninaelephant8058
@anninaelephant8058 Год назад
Thanks for those tipps, i found the books from Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson verry helpful. They explain more tipps that worked for our childeren, kind of like the ones that you describe from the "How to talk so that childeren listen" but i think it goes deeper. And it has some funny comics ;) Thanks i verry like your content and start listening to your potcast
@jennvb6625
@jennvb6625 Год назад
Love this 🙌🏼 ❤
@Christina-xc7on
@Christina-xc7on Год назад
The good job/be careful advice I think stems from the same idea. It's just taking something vague and making more specific for the child. "I love how you helped me by carrying the bag" tells the kid what they did right when "good job" does not, and "watch your feet, the ground is rocky" rather than "be careful" tells them why this is a situation that needs their attention
@willowbosela
@willowbosela Год назад
I’m reading “how to talks so little kids will listen” right now! My daughter is 1.5 years and I use “first ____, then____” statements a lot, I started around a year and it’s helped so much. “First shoes, then outside” “first cloths, then we play” etc.
@heyshayla
@heyshayla Год назад
Totally!!! That’s a great one too!
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