Top 40 Jokes in the Bible - Don't Laugh Challenge Video! 

The oldest computer was in the garden of Eden. It was an Apple 🍎 with very limited capacity. Had only 1 byte and everything crashed 😂

Adam came home late again. Eve said "Is there another woman". Adam said "No dear, count my ribs".

GOD: Cain, where is your brother? Cain: He wasn't Abel to make it. 🤣🤣🤣

I’m so thankful I’ve read my Bible enough to understand all of these 🤣

- Jesus, how do you like your steak? - Well done my faithful servant, Well done.

What was Boaz before he was married??…… ruthless 😂

Jesus (to Peter): Who do you say I am? Am I the Messiah? Peter: Yesh,-u-ah!

There was a faithful elderly woman who lived in a duplex. Her next door neighbor was an angry atheist. He could hear the elderly woman praying everyday and he hated it. One day he heard her praying that she had no food and no money. So he went to the store and bought her a week's worth of groceries. He said to himself "this will prove there is no God because I did all the shopping!!" When he showed up at her doorstep with food she praised the Lord "thank you God for answering my prayers!" And the atheist said "God didn't do it I did!!" And she praised God again saying "and you made your hater pay for it!!"

Who knew the most people in the Bible? I don’t know but Abraham knew a Lot😂

Do you think when Moses saw the burning bush he was all like "no way " and the bush was all like "yhwh"

I am 73 years old and remember when a mouse was a little furry creature and a hard drive was when I went to see my mother-in-law

I love how these are referring to lesser known Biblical things. Love that Christians can laugh and be funny especially if they know the Bible well. That's great. Ty

The one Christian joke that made me laugh 😏 An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.” The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?” ” Oh, I don’t know,” said the atheist. “How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?” as he smiled smugly. “OK,” she said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?” The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.” To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death, when you don’t know shit?”

Why don't Jesus wear jewelries? Because He breaks every chain. 😏

When Noah was unloading the animals off the ark, ….he said go forth and multiply!…..the two snakes 🐍🐍 shivered in the corner and said but we’re adders🥹.

Adam and his sons were walking by the garden and they asked him, "What is that place?" and he said, "That's where your mother ate us out of house and home".

Did you know the disciples actually traveled together by car? Yeah, they all came in one Accord. 🥁

"Do you need a boat? I NOAH guy. He's an ARKitecht" got me 🤣🤣

It wasn't the apple that caused all the trouble in the Garden of Eden. It was the pair on the ground!!! 😂😂

Oh my word, this is my first time watching you guys and I'm cracking up! It's Monday, March 18, 2024. April 1st is my son's birthday. He died at age 11. If he were here he would be laughing so hard, because he had such a great sense of humor! Thanks for the joy this a.m.!

I'm in hospital recovering from having my gallbladder removed, extreme abdominal pain, and I literally had to be given morphine for the joke, "Jesus is devine. We are debranches". I've paused the video at 2:18 for a time when I can proceed safely.

Goliath's last thoughts: Nothing like this has ever entered my mind before

I once told my pastor "i didnt know you liked video games too !" "What do you mean young man?" And i stood next to him, pointed at all the seating and went "pew pew pew"

“I wouldn’t think I’d laugh at a math joke.” Does that make David a …. Mathodist? 😂

Not my jokes: 1. Moses was the first person to download information on a tablet from the cloud. 2. Noah sent out the world's first tweet. 3. Boaz was Ruth-less before he got married

Noah was good at finances: He kept his stock afloat.

Did you know Moses was the first person to use a tablet to download data from the cloud? 😂

What did Lot say to his wife as they were escaping Sodom? "Hey, are we being followed?"

Knock Knock Who's there? Dishes. Dishes Who? Dishes the day the Lord has made. Knock knock. Who's there? Lettus. Lettus who? Lettus rejoice and be glad in it.

How could the Son of Man afford to pay it all? Because Jesus saves!!! That's my best🤣🤣🤣 Epic!

Poor Nehemiah was nice and easygoing, but he began putting up walls later in life.

Jeremiah opened a French candy store and named it La Ments. That set me laughing!!😅😅

I don't have a joke but a pick up line. "If I march around you seven times... will you fall for me? 😏

Who is most disappointed when The prodigal son came home? The fatted calf

When my friend was a little girl, she came home from Sunday school and said her favorite part of the lesson was singing about a cross-eyed bear named Gladly ("Gladly, the cross I bear" is a line from the hymn, "Keep Thou My Way" by Fanny Crosby and Theodore E. Perkins).

As a former stand up alot of these were clever puns but the one that got me was Sampson being a comedian because " he brought the house down" that one was well written

A man was praying, "Lord, I read in 2 Peter that to You a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years is like a day." "That's right," said the Lord, "he got that from Psalm 90." "Well, what are a million years like to You?" the man asked. "One second," said the Lord. "Wow," said the man, "well, what are a million dollars like to You?" "One penny," said the Lord. The man thought for a moment. "Lord...?" he asked, "could you spare me a penny?" The Lord said, "Sure, just a second."

A mom asked her boy, “What is your favorite hymn?” “The one about Andy,” he replied. “Andy? There’s no Andy in the Bible?” “Well,” he said, “I don’t know about the Bible, but we sing about Andy all the time.” “Are you sure?”the confused mom asked. “Sure! Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own!”

After covid19 was over I told my wife we were like the Apostle Paul. She ask how so. We are on the road to Damascus.

Balaam was riding his donkey down a road when an angel appeared before them. The donkey, upon seeing the angel, bucked backward and threw Balaam onto the street, which he hit hard, skid, and rolled before coming to a stop. After inspecting his skinned knees and elbows, he looked up at the angel, who said, “Don’t blame me. It was the asphalt.”

This pushes me to learn the Bible more

When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.

I got more of a kick watching how much fun they had doing these jokes 🤣 🥰🙏🤗

Did you hear Elijah’s prayer at Mt. Carmel? It was fire, yo.

scientists told God they didn't need Him because they figured out how to make a universe. We challenge you. God said ok I'm up for that challenge. the scientist reached down to pick up a handful of dirt. GOD said oh no. Youve got to get your own dirt.

The Lord said to John, “come forth and you shall receive eternal life”. But John came fifth and got a toaster. 😂😂 this was great, thank you guys!

I used to think the shortest person in the Bible was Job’s friend Bildad the shoe-height. But I forget it was the apostle Peter, who slept on his watch.

LOL this is the best day ever! Theology + dad jokes? Two of my best things. Thank you for making this such a long video too, so many gems. And s/o to Christine for those original jokes, absolutely hilarious.

Did You know that Noah was a financial wizard? Because while everyone else was in liquidation, he floated his stock.

The Doctor that delivered Abram's baby had a lisp. "Is it a girl?" No, Ishmael.

This thought keeps coming to my mind: Do you suppose that Moses ever got so mad at the Children of Israel that he was heard yelling, "If I have to pull this camel over..."? Speaking of the Children of Israel, I recall a story I heard about a kid who came home from Sunday School and was telling his mother what he was learning. "The Bible says, 'The Children of Israel did this, the Children of Israel did that'...didn't the grown-ups ever do anything?"

I know I'm super late to the party, but this just popped into my recommended today. Seth used to be my youth pastor! Good to see him still making terrible jokes 😂

After the Ark came to rest on Mt. Ararat, all the animals left the Ark (disemb-arked) except two snakes. Noah was making the rounds to make sure all the animals left and found them. He asked them why they had not left the Ark. The snake says, "You told us to go forth and multiply". "Yes, I did," Noah replied, "what's the problem". The snake answered, "We can't multiply, we're adders".

Who is the tennis player in the Bible?? Joseph, because he served in pharaoh's court☺

🤣👏🏼Hilarious! (with a neat mix of groaners and classics) "dew" time / "Balem" out / "dey gone"🤣🤣🤣 I thought it was going to be jokes *actually* in the Bible. Like when Elijah watched the prophets of Baal dancing feverishly and finally asked, Is he on vacation? Taking a nap maybe? ...Or when Samuel asked Saul, Soooo, if you killed 'em all, what is that bleating of sheep I hear? Eh, boy? ...Or my fav: Aaron when Moses finally came down, Hey, we just threw the gold in the fire, and BAM, there's a big ol' calf! What can I say?😁

Why did Jesus go to the Japanese restaurant? Because he loves Miso.

How does Moses like His coffee?? - Hebrews it! 😂😂😂

" believing only 12,5 % of the Bible makes you an eighth theist" Great one guys!! Love it

Jesus: Peter, you are the rock on which I will build my church. Peter: Why Me? Why can't Thomas be your rock? Jesus: He's too timid. I want someone who's a little bolder.

Okay. Y’all got me with Jeremiah and his French candy store. La Mints (Laments). Hilarious yet brilliant. 😂

Several years ago at a prestigious university, a philosophy professor gave his students a one-question final exam. He picked up a chair, placed it on top of his desk, and wrote on the board, “Using what you have learned in class this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.” Most of the students dug deep and wrote like crazy for the entire hour. Some of them churned out more than 30 pages of heady philosophical debate and logic. One student, though, handed in his paper after less than a minute. As it turned out, he was the only one in the class who got an “A” on the test. His answer consisted of two words: “What chair?” Where to Take It from Here… Most atheists who believe they can disprove the existence of God using their philosophical and reasoning skills often unwittingly end up acknowledging his existence. God has made himself known in his creation and revealed himself in the lives of his people, leaving the atheist with the formidable task of trying to disprove the obvious. The story is told of an atheist who said to a believer, “I don’t believe God exists.” The believer thought for a minute and said, “Well, I don’t think God believes you exist, either.” The atheist blurted out, “What do you mean! He has to believe I exist because he created me!”

Enjoy 😏 A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car." The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it. After about six weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut." The boy said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair." His Dad replies... "Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went..?”😉👍

It's not even a legit joke, but one morning our pastor said "My favorite question in the whole bible was asked by God, in Genesis...'Who told you that you were naked?'" That has such a "dad talking to toddlers" vibe that I lost it 😂 ETA: I failed at the challenge before I even started the video, because I laughed at the comments 😭

A 5 year old thought he was old enough to walk to school by himself, so his mom was supportive, but seceritly asked their elderly heigbur if she and her young granddaughter to fallow him to school everyday.a couple of weeks later, the 5 year old and a little girl he walked with noticed the grandmother Shurly Goodness and granddaughter Marcy always following them so the girl asked the 5 year old why. The 5 year old ponders for a few minutes the says " my mom reads me the 23ed Psalm which says "May Surely Goodness and Marcy fallow you all the days of your life" "

"What happened to the gods of the Philistines? Dagon".... THAT LAYED ME OUT!!! Great stuff guys, God Bless you

Adam was discussing what kind of woman God was going to give him. Adam wanted one that would cheerfully treat him like a king, on top of caring for the kids, cleaning and cooking, and all without complaint. God said that that would cost him an arm and a leg. Adam asked what he could get for a rib.

The first car is in the Bible as well…. It clearly says Jesus and his disciples came in one “accord”. How they all fit in such a small car is outstanding!!🤣🤣🤣

Mommy sent Johnny to church to go to Sunday School. When he came home she asked him what he learned. Johnny said, "Moses led the children of Israel across the Red Sea. He had his army engineers built a pontoon bridge and all Israel crossed over on it. Once they were safely across he had his demolition experts set explosives at key points it the bridge. When the Pharaoh and his army tried to cross the demolition experts set off the explosions drowning the entire Egyptian army." His mother said, "Now Johnny, that's not what they taught you." "No," he replied," but if I told you what they really said you'd never believe it."

8thiest was my favorite one. This isn't exactly a Bible joke but... Before church a mom decided to test her daughter. She gave her a one dollar bill and a five dollar bill and told her daughter to give whichever one she wanted when the church takes up offering. After church the mom asks, "so which one did you decide to give? The one or the five?" The daughter replied, "well...I was going to give the five but what the pastor said changed my mind. He said God loves a cheerful giver and I knew I'd be more cheerful if I kept the five than the one!"

I know it's not technically a Bible joke, but... A man was hired to paint a church, he bought 20 gallons of paint when he needed 25. He figured- "oh well, I'll add some water to each bucket and no one will be the wiser." The man finishes the job late in the day and decided to come back the following day to collect his payment. The next day arrives, he shows up to the church to get paid only to find it had rained overnight and washed away all of the paint. Standing in front of the church, scratching his head he says "what's going on here? It wasn't supposed to rain!" As he's asking this an answer comes from above "you know what you've done, now you must repaint and thin no more."

Need I say myrrh? 😂 Thank you friends. This was really good

These are too funny🤣🤣...I love being in Christ😍

Who was the best DJ in the Bible Jesus he turned tables 😂😂😂😂

3:55 was my favorite! "The Pharos daughter went to the bank of the Niel and pulled out a profit" 🤣🤣

"Doc, help me, I think I'm Noah!" "I think I can help you sir!" "Okay, but before you do have I got a weather report for you!"

Moses observing Joshua talking to his dad ... Moses to Aaron: "Hey, who's that guy over there?" Aaron: "Why, there's Nun beside Joshua!" Moses, concerned: "Aaron, there's clearly two guys standing there. How much of that golden calf water did you drink?"

"how do you think Jacob's brother felt after his blessing was stolen?" I was so certain he was going to say "Esau red" !!

A priest gets pulled over by a cop who says, "Father have you been drinking?" The priest slurs his speech and says "Only water, ossifer!" The cop says, "Well it sure smells like wine!" The priest says, "Oh, Jesus, he's done it again!"

Why can’t Jesus wear jewellery, why?, because he breaks every chain!😂

How did God reward Jonah? By giving him a whale of a time!! 😂😂

Jesus at the Last Supper: Hi, table for 26 please. Waiter: But there are only 13 of you? Jesus: Yeah, but we’re only going to sit on one side of the table.

Jesus is preparing many rooms in His Fathers house. What kind of tiles does he want in it? Gentiles

In a relationship, do you know,it's the man's job to brew the coffee,you will find the command right in the book,of . . HEBREWS LOL😂

HUSBAND: Where in the Bible does it say it's a man's job to wash dishes? WIFE: Il Kings 21:13 says, "and I will wipe Jerusalem as a man Wipeth a dish, wiping it and turning it upside down." 🤣🤣

My Dad-Joke vocabulary has just increased 12.5% God bless you all ❤️

Jesus is divine and we are de-branches 😂😂😂 absolutely love that one

Jesus: Who are you to judge me?! Pontius Pilate: I'm Pilate Jesus: of the Calleabean?

Did you know the 3 wisemen were firefighters? They came from afar. (A fire)

Eve says to Adam. "do you love me?" Adam replies " Who else?"

Jesus and his disciples walk into a bar. Jesus asks 'We'll have a pitcher of water'.

Knock knock! Who’s there Enoch Enoch who UHM HELLO! HAVE YOU SEEN ENOCH! He disappeared after ENOCHED!😂😂😂😂😂 (OKAY YOU GOTTA HAND IT TO ME THAT WAS REALLY GOOD!!😂😂😂)

4:42 You squandered a perfectly good opportunity to respond with, "Enoch-ed... then he left."

Did you know that Mary had a song about her after Jesus was born? I think you've heard of it. It goes, "Mary had a little lamb!"

That anonymous source has great jokes. Thanks, Christine ☺️

A pick up line for all of you... "Hey. So last night I was reading in the book of Numbers, and then I realized, I didn't have yours."

2:43 As a scholar of early Christianity, this one genuinely made me laugh! 😂

Jesus: so I told this guy I was like " I'm the son of God." He was like Him: "No way" And I was like Jesus: " Yahweh" 😂😂

Who does Joshua judge? Ruth. Joshua Judges Ruth

Oh we need a part 2

Before the jokes started I already failed😂. "Our anonymous source Christine"😂