Understanding The Nervous System|Codependency|Relationships|People Pleasing with Quinlan Walthers 

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Often this kind of problem- awareness of the issue but not doing anything to change it- boils down to not knowing what to do differently. Literally. It sounds silly sometimes, because it sounds like the answer would be obvious just "don't get into the toxic relationship" but if you've always gotten into them before, sometimes we literally don't understand how NOT to get into it. It feels like an automatic response bc our amygdala is taking over and our prefrontal cortex is less engaged in that moment, especially for a thing like a trauma bond which gives you all those positive reinforcement endorphins initially. A big part of the trick is to slow down and go back through all the previous times you've done it, and figure out where- realistically, for you individually- you could have done something different if you knew what to do. Then go to a skills-based type of therapy and learn the skills to try different behavior. And it'll be uncomftable and hard initially, like going to the gym, but like any other skill they get easier the more you practice them. Especially if you practice them in lower-intensity emotional situations first. Build them up. Don't expect a miraculous change overnight and be patient with yourself. You know? I know you didn't ask for advice so ignore me if this was annoying lol, I just spent most of my life struggling with that kind of paralyzed awareness and I know how much it can lead to self deprication and worse. I genuinely hope you find peace and positive relationships ❤ Nothing is fundamentally wrong with you, just no one taught you how to behave differently.