Watch This If You Are Tired Of Attractive Low Value Men 

Man this made me cry. Out of forgiveness to my female line and to break this generational BS, I will no longer entertain low standards.

This is so true. ladies don't beat yourself up over this either. ppl can't help having an emotionally unavailable father. he was there but not there like that. it goes back to the mother with low standards. it's a vicious cycle that needs to be addressed and healed.

I have been struggling for so.long in toxic relationships and I finally understood that this behavior came from my childhood. I am now enjoying being single mother by not rushing in relationship❤

You are one of the first people to mention how our mothers relationship modelling impacts later life choices. It is also a girls relationship with her father that impacts heavily. A father can make his little girl feel like a princess and tell her she's special like no other. A little girl internalises this and it has a positive impact on her relations with men . My father was a narcissist and at best I suffered neglect, plus had to take care of him in a mediator role. By 18 I was hungry for male validation/ attention ( having gotten none from my father) and used my sexuality to secure that. I had no insight into my behaviour at that age and kept engaging in superfical flirtatiousness for years. Truth is, I had no idea how to be close to a man as I never was with my father. Some women are lucky to come from families where men are good examples of masculinity and strength and respect and take care of their mother. I have a Trainwreck of males in my family - a sociopath, narcissist and younger sibling who spent most of his life isolating in the house playing the computer. All of them were weak and abusive men with no respect for women. Role reversal existed where the women took care of the men's needs, not the other way around. My mother said if her life is an example of what NOT to do with men, she has then achieved something.

In my family of origin, my mom was a narcissist and my dad was an enabler. She called the shots, and put a wall up between my dad and me. I ended up following in **his** footsteps and marrying a narcissist. I left my ex husband, because he reminded me of my mother. Not sure what this amounts to, but I suspect that I didn't feel empowered, because everyone relied on my mother for everything.

Such an important topic to discuss! I've decided to use the blueprint of "What does the healed version of my father look like?" as a basis of what I ask the Universe for when I manifest my next partner. Analyzing my parental relationships that I saw growing up was critical to my healing process.

No wonder my relationships have been shit my whole life. I can relate to both reasons. The second point really hits home. Great video.

My mom definitely didn't have any high standards when picking my dad and I see it everyday. How she doesn't like how things are. But she doesn't think I can meet a great guy cause she just has this manage mentality. Like just find a guy you can manage. But that will not be my portion ijn

i couldn’t agree more. you pinpointed it exactly.

These videos are pure gold, each one. Thank you, always learning

I suffer from number 2. My father died when I was young. I was a daddies girl and then he was no longer there. It was like I was looking for a father all along since then. I learned that I’ll only have one. Nobody can replace him.

I just wanna say thanks to you. Your videos are the topic like a mother is teaching me about life. Thanx for making me understand so much things. But I am still a little anxious about how to not show your needeness. My dad isn't really emotional involved with me and because of that even tho I need to focus on other things all I seek is a little male validation. And I hate the feeling of happiness I get when a guy notices me cause I know it's not worth it . P.s. Thanx again for helping me become the best version of myself as a women.

This is so straightforward now I understand it

We need to move past the conversation about absentee fathers as it is of the past and the young woman has no control over it. She is now a grown woman how does she combat psychological neediness from not having a father figure growing up?

This is so true …. Now I can realize it …

Thank you so much for sharing this video.

You are absolutely right. I can vouch for it too because I fill both the criteria you mentioned. I am working on myself everyday because I have had my fair share of bad relationships. And you are on point about the anxious attachment style too.

I just got to the root of my trauma through this video, wow thank you. I understand now why i keep repeating these patterns in my relationships, i kept thinking perhaps it’s because im just an insecure person but it all comes from somewhere and this hit it right on the nail. Wow. Thank you. This just brought me so much peace of mind and understanding

Be careful when or once your father or whichever male role model passes away. It opens you up to wolves. Never tell men about any loss or grieving you are going through. Another terrible influence is abusive/jealous/toxic brothers

thanks so much for creating these videos ❤ as a daughter tht didnt receive motherly advice from her mother because she wasn’t emotionally available, these videos have helped me soo much on really raising my standards & knowing my worth ❤🥹

Very Enlightening, Thank You 🙏 ❤🎉

I love that ur channel is growing ❤

Well said ❤

So true !!!

I took down notes. Thank you🙏🏽

I love your videos. Your channel is helping me a lot 😍

This is the wises most resonating message I heard these days thank you dear keep it going

Ok, so how do we heal love deficiency? I know that I have it, but what do I do about it?

A gem 🤩

I love your podcasts. They resonate truth through and through. Thank you 🙏🏼 ❤

Much needed video. THANK YOU SO MUCH

I want the best for my daughters 😢

Okay this honesty made me cry.

Blimey this is so true

SOOO TRUEEEE

I agree that women carry responsibility, too, but I think there are many more causes and possible scenario's that can lead to accepting mediocrity. Examples are an emotionally unavailable mother, chaotic households (fearful avoidant attachment style), or just society's liberal feminist messaging that it's somehow "weak" or against equal rights to want a man to do things for you.

Soooo what do I do to heal this? I'm so tired of feeling needy

so true i always say, " a woman is her mother. if you see me, you are seeing my mother." and I am referring to biological mom, the one whose womb you housed. not gaurdians/foster/gifteed mothers etc. YOUR MOTHER who birthed you. As a woman, you are your mother.

Everything you said is very true I grew up with the mother that had low self-esteem herself and no boundaries for men I also grew up without my father even though he lived only 10 miles away I see because of it I ended up with it when I was 22 with a soak a married man and after I no longer wanted to be with him

So after discovering the problem, what is the solution?

My mother had low standards and my father had no unconditional love for me (still doesn't). In fact, in my father's precence, I'd always get discouraged and reminded of being dumb. And worse, my father was always sexist towards my mother and he sought to treat me that way as I grew older. But I was a very conscious girl from a young age in that my greatest challenge in life was fighting not to be shaped by such a background. My father even dismissed me as soon as he saw that I'm not the type of teen (at 15/16) to give him the control over my life and my being like he was my God, like my mother did. And because of this, I've never been with a man in my life and I'm in my 30s now. My problem is that, I feel like any man I attract have certain similarities to my father. And I know I do not want a man like my father just as much as I do not want to be a woman like my mother. Now, I feel like, even though, I've successfully rejected being shaped by my background, still it's affected me more than I think because it's making it hard for me to attract good relationships and good people. I'm always suspicious of men, but when I see a woman whose man treats her right, I love that. I dream of that. In fact, nowadays, I've even told myself to find my happiness in just witnessing beautiful relationships around me, even if I may not find one for myself. There was a time when I resented my parents so much, and even resented God for giving me parents like them. Especially because, emotionally, I have no connection with my parents because of my mother's low standard and my father's narcissistic being. My mom's goal for me, and she'd always pushed for this, was to marry, become a teacher professionally if I wanted a career and to have children. I grew up with an inborn talent of an visual art and wanted a profession in medical research after high school. But all of that are still just a dream. Because it was difficult, for some reason, to get into the medical field on my own after high school and I never wanted to be a woman with no bright future, in my early twenties when things were still not working out and I had no moral support, at the very least, I decided to go to college and study what I'd be able to finish with less obstacles along the way. And now I hold just a degree in business and I work permanently in some remote marketing independent contracting job, though I'm not satisfied. But I, at least, feel like I'm not a complete failure. Although, I live my life like a solo person, and I'm nowworking on archieving the goal I couldn't before, of going into medicine. But I'm without a love life because I've been non-compromising when it came to relationships. And, I'm not saying it's a beautiful life. But what I'm saying is that our background really takes a toll on us even when we try to fight them. And this is the most painful thing I feel like I'm still experiencing in life. Sometimes, I wish I could start my life afresh with a father who cared for me and a mother who cared for her family but still has a life of her own that isn't dependent on a narcissist husband. I used to call myself an optimist while fighting against my life as a vibrant young kid/teenage full of hope. But I feel constantly pessimistic now because this fight felt like a long one that, even if I may won it in the most crucial parts of it, it has left some scars that makes me consider that I may never be the best partner to a man, especially if he may have many weaknesses, and may never be a stellar parent to a child and not make see the scars in me. Now, I'm fighting every day to be as optimistic as I had been before. But it's really hard. However, I know that I do not have, in me, the spirit of giving up. Although, it's painful and, often, I feel hopeless.

Compassion and forgiveness, for us as women as well. Love covers a multitude of sins. ❤

I realized this sometime last year but I have no idea how to fix and undo the damage caused by both my parents.

Now question arises what to do about it 😅

I think you mean your proposed hypothesis 😀

Totally agree that its better for both men, women, our children and society at large to expect high standards and only reward the men who meet those standards. We're doing everyone a disservice by settling for crumbs. However I dont agree with the idea that it all must go back to our childhood. Sure, i'm sure thats the case sometimes but I dont think its the be all end all. For me, I ended up in a shitty relationship with a loser because 1. I fell in love with him before i'd even met him so when I did finally meet him, it was easier to ignore the red flags as nothing rather than going through the disappointment. 2. Because I was so attached to him already, I forgave his red flags and was too naive and understanding and thought it would change. And 3. I accepted low standards from the very beginning so its harder(impossible) to begin implementing high standards when youve already allowed yourself to be a "mummy bangmaid". In conclusion: STAY DETACHED AND CALCULATED UNTIL YOUVE VETTED HIM

I had a narssist couvert father a snake and a mom borderline low self value both of them empty core mom wanting to control my dad who he is zéro compassion and dead emotionaly when she Can not control him she start to bé so anxious and victimhood and crying me as little girl i lived with fucking traumatized parents i felt not safe worried anxious and not loved offfffff I work daily on me ❤ sending you love

i have a good father, we are close and he love me much but i am still put needy on my form boyfriends 🤔😮‍💨

Never again ❤

Why is the name of the channel Dark Femininity, giving it a bad, kinda manipulative connotation? The content's good 👍💯

Men are the big ,big contributors when comes to this matter …..read professor Stark , Lundy Bancroft .

❤

Oops!

How to overcome it?

‼️

When you’re unsuccessful in relationships you can’t communicate. You won’t find sympathy walking away from others because “evolution” or how you’re “ wired from the past”. That’s all therapy excuses. You have to function in the present. All this “ they can sense toxicity “ is all in your head. People are attracted to each other and people have appetites. Even if you break up if you communicate there should be understanding unless you’re not being honest. People who react more than they think might look like sociopaths or lost losers to the people who think their way into a maze about their or others’ actions. People want to be provided for and protected by loved ones, police, governments, doctors, farmers, …how’s that working out? Mixed bag isn’t it? You have to watch the language you use to yourself because it leads you down dark alleyways. A “completely unavailable “ dad would have left. Anxiety is nothing new in human society and civilization. Survival in civilizations is tough largely due to corruption and theft. Many individuals mirror that attitude in order to “get by in life” or satisfy appetites. People take acceptance from others personally, yet reject others matter of factly. Self observe and you’ll find out it’s not the past or the future. It’s you . Nobody wound up “ wasting time “ in past relationships. That’s people imagining they could have had an alternative reality, had they been somebody else. Be cunning if you like but see the hilarity in it all. If someone senses that cunning and dumps you just have a laugh at it all. Be up front next time. Is it too tough and vulnerable to be honest? Civilized history says : Yes!🌺

Wowowow I have never. EVER. IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. Heard anything more stupid. Society needs to stop excusing men’s incredibly shitty behavior. Now women are taking the blame for HIS BEHAVIOR? If he’s being disrespectful it’s YOUR FAULT BECAUSE YOURE LETTING IT HAPPEN??? No!! ITS HIS FAULT BECAUSE HES DISRESPECTFUL! He cheated on you because you let it happen? NO! He cheated on you!! He beat you up because you let it happen? No!! He assaulted someone! STOP WITH THIS BACKWARDS LOGIC. YOU ARE WASHING YOUR BRAINS INTO NOT HOLDING MEN ACCOUNTABLE

Another 🎯Video! Hope a lot of girls listen to it; it would have helped me in younger years! Thanks so much! 🤍