I also love how he took the emotional and invisible labor from her by saying “I’ll get a babysitter and I’ll take you out”. She doesn’t have to plan anything and can trust he will follow through.
This comment is gold. The emotional and invisible labor load is no joke. I like that HE took responsibility for re-establishing the connection rather than putting it on her to reconnect them for him.
Yea. It starts off nice, but the negative words like "neglected and lonely" gets hyper focused on and turned into an attack. Its like, babe Im just asking for more quality time or whatever it is, it doesn't need to turn into an argument. Its how hard is it, "ok I'll try to split my time better" or "hey, sorry. Why dont we go out to eat or rent a movie and cuddle up" or "hey, I just need you to help me out more with this so I can do this with you"
Hyper focused? Expressing something once is not hyperfocussing. Not to mention the context of the conversation and the rest of what she said. @@LAtttiful
@@beri8044 I think they were talking about conversations usually tend to go with their partner, instead of being kind and understanding like the video, they get invalidated by their partner.
What happens quite often when someone brings their feelings to their partner is that the partner focuses on a few of the words and immediately makes it attack on them, and makes it mean that they're a bad person and instead of just hearing how their partner is feeling they become defensive and counter attack. I've had it happen again and again and it is the reason that this last relationship completely fell apart. And yet he took absolutely no responsibility and tried to tell me that it was me and that I just didn't see myself. He called my feelings a clever way of telling him how bad he is. In other words, my feelings weren't how I was feeling, my feelings were just a way of telling him how awful he is and couching it in "feelings". Your feelings aren't a burden is the best thing that came out of this and that's what everyone needs to learn
Important to note is that something like this doesn't always have to end in an apology and one side taking blame, sometimes life just happens and it's nobody's fault, but you still want to be open and vulnerable and honest with each other in an empathetic way.
Yeah... Instead I had to hear "I just can't handle it when you are in a bad mood." ("Bad mood" = sad, depressed, angry, disapointed - all the same to him) Also: "I find repulsive, when you are in a Bad mood" He is my husband. I used to love him. He was kind, caring and sweet. Now he is like a different man. I work hard to make this relationship well again, but I guess it will never be for me like in this video. And that makes me sad beyond words...
@@aliceignis Tell him he's either going to change and hold to his word on it, or you're going to divorce him. Tell him it's as simple as that. 😊 You could also tell him that " *i* can't handle being in a bad mood myself, either" so that's why I need your help, and you are going to help. Otherwise if he doesn't do so, then tell him the above ultimatum applies.
@@aliceignisI’m sorry this is happening. Was wondering did he change over time? Your feelings aren’t a burden! I have anxiety about finding a partner that feels that way too
I don’t think you understand how helpful your videos are. I’ve been feeling constant guilt over how much this season of life has me focusing more on work than my spouse or other things that are more important to me. These videos give me great examples of how to communicate with my spouse and make sure that she is feeling heard and loved.
They set an awfully high bar in delivery and emotional processing, little curveballs, but I guess they should. I'd like to see more resistance and then see the overcoming of those resistances play out. But right on! Great stuff.
Where is the ❤ button on the comment section. They need to introduce it. Like button ain't enough. We love to see things like this. Best of luck to you and your partner
dude are you like, multiple people? you're EVERYWHERE (and your comments are always so nice) wait...what if you're a super advanced chat bot that has more empathy than the average person??? :O i'm onto you.
@@ggmochie2615lol if someone is everywhere...and is commenting a lot and kindly... Why does that make it not human? Here's a thought, what if all the horrible stuff in the world, all the things that are said about humanity being horrible, the world is a scary place, it's him or you, all the crap about racism but only between black and white people... When there are so many different types of nationalities in the world, united states being the most diverse place in the world... But it's always something about white and black....hmmm Now say it's actually not true about humanity being all of those things or doing all those horrible things, it's actually entities and other kinds of alien beings that can look human but are not actually a human being... They mix it up and they do the horrible things to humanity and as time goes by they get a few of the real human beings to do the horrible things to. And continue to do whatever they want and they hide behind humanity because they use us for the loosh that comes from our energy force when they get us to kill or steal or to watch porn and have a climax and get us to split up from our spouse to destroy the family unit and turn men and women against one another, when actually it's the most powerful thing to do as a human...to have a family unit that has love and stability doesn't provide slaves for off planet work and food for the lower vibration entities... spiritual energy frequency and for the flesh. Everyone wants to run around... With no sense to stop being stupid and having no respect or honor for yourself. Yes it's extremely hard for you to get a grip on reality and it's because everyone that has ever been to school in America has been brainwashed. All the things you have been educated on are for the dark ones agenda to make sure everyone is a slave willingly ... Yes someone who has been working in a tax business center for years is right about how they do things... For example: someone who knows how to do things the real way, or the way of natural law, consumers law, will not have cooperation from the tax person who is right on how they were educated and have been doing the process of tax for years, however outside of the corporation they are working for it's all fraud and they don't understand what they are actually doing because they never took the time to learn something on their own or asking questions about why it is the way they been doing things. You have to go all the way in .. don't stop at the few bit of information and then repeat it just because you read it with no actual truths backing it up with some proof or hands on results. Go the fuck outside and walk around barefoot... human beings are not supposed to be in the box wearing rubber shoes
He's doing this because he ruined his relationship by his own admittance. That's not his partner. It's him doing a skit to show a point. Are you struggling to separate the message with the messenger? 👀
@@morganvillas6436They're still married. He was lucky enough to change before his wife was done. I wished my ex husband had done the work just like Jimmy.
I love that he isn't promising to work less because he knows that the deadline needs the time and energy that he's currently putting in, but he's giving an alternative to help with the prior pain, rather than going back to 'normal'
Exactly! And I hate that word "normal" because there is no normal in relationships. Life is constantly chanting and so are people and we need to adapt not revert back to a stage of normal... my friend and her partner are going through difficult times with him finding faith and her not being religious and she said they're always fighting and wants everything back to normal, and I an trying to stress to her in the kindest way that there is no normal, this is part of their life now and ignoring it won't make the issues go away that's only a temporary fix
@@SmallSnailMarieYes, you're right. I also don't agree with the word "normal" in relationships. But I hope your friend realizes that if she wants she can break up with him. And if she doesn't they should have some serious discussions about marriage and child raising. The sooner the better if he's religious and she's not.
@@SmallSnailMarie I don't know them, but I hope so too! And I'm sorry for your friend's miscarriage, I hope she's doing well now! 💛 By the way, I really like your name and pfp✨
When I'm apologizing to a loved one I always make sure not to say, "I'm sorry you felt that way." It's always been "I'm sorry I made you feel that way," and I think even a little shift like that is SO important
I.. don’t think this is it. Too many unrealistic things and the man taking the blame really feels like something that happens way too often in relationships. This isn’t a good skit on healthy communication. This feel like a narcissistic woman speaking to an anxious attachment man trying to just keep his wife happy.
@@kingsgold What planet are you on? He didn't take any 'blame', he apologized for not checking in on her feelings earlier, validated her feelings, and then offered to do something to help both of them feel closer again. This conversation would work the same way if the gender roles were reversed, or even in a same-sex relationship. If you feel like the wife in this skit is a narcissist, you may need to check in on your own issues with women expressing their emotions. People have feelings, and they should be talked about.
@@kingsgoldIt sounds like you’ve been hurt by women or seen men you care strong hurt by women. I’m sorry for that. Control and manipulation is always toxic and damaging. At the same time you’re missing a key factor in this skit. While there are women that do that, that’s simply not what’s happening here. What’s happening here is a scenario in where the man is taking his own initiative to bring emotional healing to a woman that likely he has caused emotional damage to in the past. Though he is humbling himself, she’s not manipulating him. He’s owning his own actions. That is why this is a demonstration of a healthy relationship and not an unhealthy one. If he were doing the same actions from a position of people pleasing rather than genuine intention and understanding, then it would be an unhealthy relational dynamic. Again that’s simply not what’s being demonstrated here. Also it’s a very different thing for you to put your opinion out there in the general comments than as a response to the above comment. Putting it here was in poor taste. Next time it would be better to make a comment like this as your own original comment rather than as a response to someone else’s sincere and vulnerable thankfulness. You’re welcome to share your perspective without dishonoring someone else’s. May you have the satisfaction of building and discovering healthy relationships in your life. They really do exist.
@@climbingmountainsyou missed any key factor about the man and his stress at work contributing to his lack of attention at home. So Yes, to me it sounds like the man is expected to play Superman doing double duty at work and having to care for his wife so home. The wife is supportive in this scenario, but out of nowhere she suddenly feels lonely. What? That sudden change in feelings is that gets me. He told her that he would be busy, and she is doing her part to support him. Now towards the end she is feeling lonely and abandoned? Yes, it does come off as narcissistic. She is making it about her and nothing about him. She is trying to be the center of attention. His stress at work is none of her concern.
I think it's greater than even realistically possible. I'm even happy enough, if I get the bare minimum😅 if the person not yells or would even listen a little bit, when I'm trying to speak. But yeah, I also want to cry seeing this. Is so far beyond my expectation and imagination, that a man could be that way
I flet the same way... I think it is possible but not probable... men like this are for sure, saddly, the exception and not the rule. Glad he is trying to educate other guys. I wonder if it reaches other men though... It's typically women I see in the comments....
It's definitely possible. I started finding men like this when I stopped settling for less and also working on my emotional intelligence (because it takes two). You deserve it.
This is a fabulous idea to demonstrate how a positive conversation can go, instead of just saying do this and that, but *showing* how to communicate. More, please!
this makes me so sad yet comforted. it feels so nice to hear someone taking accountability but it sucks it's not coming from the person I want to hear it from. Thank you for that.
I want to be caring like him. I want to understand and be emotionally intelligent like him. I want to communicate like him. I want to think like him. I'm not married, but i hope one day i can invest this much love and care into someone.
I would never experience this pleasant kind of conversation with anyone in my life. I don't have a partner but I do live with a very difficult family. If any feelings about being hurt are brought up then I am either dismissed or attacked for having them.. so now I just stay quiet. I hope one day I can have at least one person in my life that I can speak safely with. 🤞I really love seeing these demonstrations of what healthy relationships look like, it helps me realize what kind of relationships I want and need in my life.
You will have this type of support and love one day I don't know you but I'm sorry that your going through this and know your not alone even when it feels that way
@@JessikaCruz87Sadly she will have this kind of support one day. One day she'll meet a desperate and hurt man, who just wants support and understanding, but sadly will meet her. He will bend over backwards to satisfy her needs while putting away his own. Because when will he have a chance to bring them up with a selfish wife like her? When everything is about her and her needs.
I've had these interactions with her for a while, but i see that i need to follow through with something to soothe her feelings, whatever might it be. Thanks brother
Well yeah if you don't follow through on something that you said then you're just a liar and an apology with a repeated offensive is just manipulation.
This is exactly how interactions with my late husband went. He taught me so much about how to communicate. You are making it possible for more people to experience this.
I have a wonderful partner who does all of this. And I'm crying anyway seeing most of your videos. I needed this in my life for so long that my scars are still bleeding.
This is what a STRONG man sounds like. Mentally and emotionally strong. Problems don't have to mean panic or avoidance of passive aggressiveness to deal with discomfort. Its the most important strengths a man can have today.
@@maggnet4829And? It is not about she not appreciating the work, but desiring connection, which is good for both of them. A relationship needs as much attention and work as his work. She is working her ass off with other tasks around the home that can be clearly taken by what he said. It's not about whose work is harder or who does more, but that both appreciate the other and take time to dedicate it to each other. Relationships are not a given, they require constant dedication. So by making her feel better, he is making himself feel better bc he gets time to be intimate, which will definitely soothe the stress he is feeling while being on the project.
@maggnet4829 hey look, people feel how they feel. You can't manage that. The whole point of being in an emotional "safe space" is that you and your partner can express those feelings to each other, ridiculous or not, without fear of judgement or resentment. You seem like the kind of guy that wouldn't like it if your wife or girlfriend didn't "put out" as often as you'd like. Wouldn't you want a space where you could discuss that feeling with maturity and without the fear of ridicule?
@@MiketheNerdRanger With the "safe space" part you had me, but then you lost me on that "put out" part. My personal motivation is that I hate double standards and there are a lot of those when it comes to (not) considering mens side of the story. While a woman certainly should have her safe space to talk, this can only fly if that is both sided. However, somehow all videos frame it like it's the mens fault, that they are the one that are not able to create the safe space. Yet, truth is that men have often zero chance to express their feelings. Women can be emotionally irrational, but dare you men don't keep their cool and don't express their feelings very considered and carefully, then shit hits the fan very quickly. And then the woman even pulls the reverse UNO card and reinterpreting the whole situation in the way that the mans feelings now make her feel unsafe. Even though she just before emotional ripped him apart over him trying to express how he feels. Just like men need to develop more resilience towards how women express emotions, women need to be held by the same standards and need to learn how to interpret a mans way of expressing his feelings.
I did but it wasnt my husband. It was my pastor over something that was a miscommunication No one had ever validated my feelings and reminded me I was a person and I was allowed to be upset. He then apologized without an excuse, asked for forgiveness and expressed what they did wrong and offer to fix it. He didn’t get defensive over my feelings or bringing it up and not sounding right saying it. And I reacted normally. I accepted the apology discussed how to avoid it and then promptly went to the bathroom and cried cuz I had never experienced such a positive conflict resolution in my life. It burned all the more that I had tried EVERY approach I could with my hubby and even been like that at home and all it started was a fight. I realized not all of it is me like I was told. I dont fly off the handle needlessly. I can and will respond well to actual conflict resolution. It burns more now that church fell apart and I dont see the pastor or many of them anymore.
Tho this is 'agape' love... it seems like fem (simp) porn cause it needs the team/ 2 way street to really work. And it seems underappreciative of what HE is having to do also in meeting all your wants & needs ALREADY... Sorry2 I wish it wasn't so 'hard' for us both.
This made me tear up! Thank you for reminding us that something with no malintent can still be hurtful, but that honest, open communication helps. It’s a wonderful reminder that balance is vital. Just because no one did anything really wrong in this scenario, that doesn’t mean that the emotions aren’t real, rational, and important. She was able to communicate what she was feeling, and he was willing and able to build her up, empathize, and find a solution without burdening her with that mental load. He also didn’t shirk his work responsibilities, instead he communicated when he would be able to set aside extra time to spend with her, he made a preliminary plan, and he listens without judgment. Providing that he follows through, he’s been a trustworthy, reliable, and thoughtful partner. And because she told him how she was feeling, he’s now more likely to be thinking of what he can do to spend a little extra time with her each day. He could not be expected to know how she felt, but now that he knows, he can do his part to make it better for both of them. 👏👏👏
Key phrases; "your feelings aren't a burden, and you don't have to apologize for having them." The first time I heard this from my friend, it was like a wieght had lifted from my chest. It felt so good to be listened to and acknowledged. I wish I could get this kind of communication from a partner.
😢 I don't remember ever heard that. O the contrary, I have vivid memories since my childhood with people blaming me for my feelings. No wonder I have C-PTSD
i think its not that uncomun but the way she bring the problem is also a thing that women tend to not do that way . The simple thing in a couple is to be respectfull and just beeing partners in crime , us versus the world and sharing all , is a natural thing to do . I have flaws , you too but if we play the life game together we will up the other down side " for the better of both of us" kind of mentality . complicity : you killed someone ? let me find a shovel ! i'm kinding but you get the picture , and you dont need a soul mate for this to happened just someone you feel good with and just aggreeing on this at some point of the relationship .
My problem with these videos is how often they seem to gloss over the man’s struggles (ex. Stressing about and working on a deadline) and immediately drops it for the woman’s feelings.
@@JosekTheNecromancerjust because the video shows those genders for the role play _does_ _not_ mean this is men vs women. It is _exactly_ the same with genders reversed.
"Your feelings aren't a burden". What a wonderful thought! It takes immense understanding, consideration, care and affection to actually feel this way and express it too. Also making the partner/ spouse feel safe. A perfect example to emulate. In reality, the scenario is often just the opposite. Sad but true. Thank you for sharing this one!
I hate how often I’m left wondering this: what about the man’s wellbeing. It start with one of the man’s legitimate concerns with the deadline but that gets thrown under the bus when the wife starts to feel bad.
AgReed. If a woman was stressed out about s work deadline, the expectation would be for the man to be supportive, not expecting the woman to apologize and do more.
You are AWESOME Jimmy! My husband got annoyed of me sending him your videos so he asked that I stop… his loss he could have learned exactly what I needed from him just by watching your videos. I can’t say enough how your videos helped me feel I wasn’t wrong about feeling that way..finally a man that understands. Lucky your wife and kids!
THIS MAKES ME CRY. I spent 25 years with a narsasist. I finally found a good man who treats me this kindly THANK GOD ...Good men ARE out there. Ladies Do not give up!❤
@ducksquidbat8315 Wow. You are really not into faith and family, are you. I left after my grown children told me I deserved better. I divorced against my faith. But hey, thanks for the kind response. Really appreciate you took the time to 'support' my vulnerable outreach.
I get a weird satisfaction out of these wholesome videos because I see my husband and I's relationship reflected in them. How empathy, compassion, love, trust, care, respect are centerpoints in our dynamics. How we mirror them for each other and thus get them in return. I'll show them to him like "its us" and he'll offer some cute, cheesy line like we just started dating last week rather than years ago. We're not perfect, but we operate on a knowledge that its never the others intention to cause hurt. So even when things arent worded well or we get busy and let things slip, its easy to bring it up to each other and address it before it becomes an actual problem. We also have tons of agreed nonverbal cues to help when needed (i.e. my husband used to get very loud when discussing a topic he felt passionate about, so I started doing a motion of turning down a volume knob to let him know I found it a little much; its become our little way of letting each other know, in case we're a bit absorbed in our topic, that we need to dial it down a little)(or I'm prone to rambling, so he'll tap his chin as a sign he's getting a bit lost with the topic direction or how long I've been going on and thus to check in that he understands what I've been trying to say). Tbh, our agreed nonverbal cues help so much because we can communicate a (relatively) immediate need without interupting the other which I find super helpful and very validating. My dad was prone to being loud when angry when I was young (he learned to manage it better as I grew older), and thus I find it hard to concentrate on what's being said when things get too loud; letting him know, without interrupting, that he's near or past my threshold lets him get back to a point I can follow what's he's saying and thus HEAR him again. And he can struggle with keeping up with walls of speech; sometimes asking me to pause so he can make sure he's understanding what I'm getting at is needed. And when he either gets it or asks clarifying questions, I feel so HEARD. Will it work for everyone? Absolutely not. But it works for us. And maybe someone who reads this.
I read this and I pray GOD continues bless both of you and I pray that your relationship continues grow with love and compassion and understanding and it works for you guys keep it up ❤
Amazing communication! That is what I aim for in my current relationship of 2 weeks. The guy is very considerate and I have worked a lot on myself psychologically, so I will try to use the exact same technique for effective communication and understanding and respect. I hope 🙏🏻 this relationship will be The last and the best of all
I seriously LOVE you for making these videos. You're putting us through a virtual experience of family matters, psychology and emotional intelligence and I can really appreciate you for what you're doing. You're helping us to see things differently and on a higher frequency and you're helping the world to become a better place. I could just kiss you! Keep doing what you're doing. It's amazing. 💕
@@bananian I'm sorry you're going through that and genuinely hope you can get out n maybe seek oiit a mens shelter...but why would you feel the need to say that in response?
I feel like so many women approach their partners like this (I certainly have) only to get shut down. So many times, the men just don’t care enough to even try to fix things.
This is one of the reasons me and my Ex split. He'd automatically get defensive, refuse to apologize(if he did it would be "i'm sorry I'm so stupid" bs), never just take accountability. Every time I tried to express to him anything that bugged me it would eventually turn into a argument. Chorse. His spending excessive money of weed n booze. His eating out everyday and then critiquing me on eating uber eats like 2x a week. Him leaving all the cat care too me. Leaving every date planning to me. I'm genuinely upset I let someone make me feel like I was too sensitive bc of it.
It's not impossible that a man under that kind of stress might just not have the energy left to effectively deal with the emotional situation. It's important to bring up how you feel to him, but it's also important to remember when to do so, which would likely be AFTER the deadline has passed. If he's so pressed on the work that he's neglecting you, and that's not a normal behavior for him, then whatever he's working on is probably taking a lot out of him. To then pile on top of that a notification that you are dissatisfied with the relationship, even if you have the best, non aggressive intentions with it, has a decent probability of only making his current task harder. It's important to recognize how much a man has on his plate to make sure he doesn't get overwhelmed. When his load lightens, THEN is a good time to talk about nurturing the relationship that you feel has been lacking. When he actually has the time to make it better, instead of feeling like there's nothing he can do.
@@samuelmerkel2888 Absolutely agree! None of us are at our best when we're tired and stressed, expecting him to react like superman while he's still working probably isn't reasonable. I'd have been inclined to say something like 'you've been working so hard, and I've missed spending time with you. Why don't we arrange to do something nice together at the weekend?' This is a beautiful video but I think in reality you have to meet a man halfway - he has needs too!
Your videos are like medicine, it’s hard to take sometimes but I’ve already noticed the positive change in my marriage from small changes to my behavior
It’s almost hard to believe there are men out there like this. I really appreciate knowing what healthy relationships look like. Thanks for the insight and a little heart healing as well! 🙏
Watching these videos has made me more aware of how I treat my mother. I try to step up more now and not expected her to be “in charge” of certain chores when I have more free time than her
I never did that for mine, because she decided to not teach mr and blame me for it. So everyone had cleaning help but her, cause shes a shit parents who expects life skills to spawn at 10 years old
@@vienasdu6618 I’m 22 and have been living back home for the semester with my mom, dad, and older sister. I clean the kitchen but I’ve been trying to learn to cook more, as it shouldn’t be entirely up to her. Especially considering she’s the only one in the family that works a 9-5.
Thanks for posting this… it was liberating to feel heard. Most partners think when we bring up our feelings, they say “it’s just your perception” and it does make us feel unheard, unsafe and dismissed.
This is gold!! I remember having to have my male therapist flat out tell me that my Ex-husband was NOT acting as a safe husband and NOT taking care of our family and family needs ever. Many women (& men) need to hear this type of content. Thank you so much.
I also love how the priority of the impending deadline isn’t thrown out the window, but her feelings are acknowledged and validated, and a specific date was given for her to count on.
@@anjaglivar4284 I think a lot of it was just putting our egos aside and truly listen and it didn’t start out easy. There were arguments over expressing feelings at times, but we both really love each other and knew we wanted to be each other’s forever so we had some compromise and we work with each other rather than against.
This is literally how my boyfriend speaks to me, it's the first healthy, truly happy relationship I have ever been in, and it is life changing. There is no doubts, insecurities, or fears of cheating etc. ❤️ I hope you all find this. ❤️
@@JimmyonRelationshipsBut he is now and that's all that matters. If only most husbands would recognise their unhealthy patterns and work on changing. Bless you.
This is *chefs kiss* sooo good. Like we need to learn. Everybody needs to learn how to treat our loved ones with LOVE, care and tenderness. We all want it but if none of puts it forward how are we gonna get it back?
I felt saying he was wrong was not necessarily needed in this particular scenario, but I loved most how he made her feel safe to share and didn't downplay her feelings, and especially how he addressed something he could do in the near future to spend time with her ❤
Oh, my goodness! I love what you’re doing here! What a beautiful example of loving partnership. I will be sharing this with all of the couples I counsel! Thanks for all you do… and thanks to your wife for all she has done in the background to make these ways of being come into your relationship and into the world! Bravo!
OMG, I am crying. It’s so pure when you open to person and he/she appreciates your feelings and can listen and don’t make it your problem, making it’s uncomfortable situation in relationship :3
I feel like I’m falling in love with this guy just because of the sheer quality of his communication skills and after watching this video I’m not even gonna apologize for that!
Very rare, that’s all she wants is for him to care and show it. He doesn’t have to do it all right or do everything she needs, he just needs to try, and show in simple ways he cares about her. You would be amazed how little it would take to show her.
A line from one of my favourite book series is “Feelings are feelings, they don’t have dumb or smart labels”. The series is The Master of The Shadowlands by Cherise Sinclair.
Thank you for your efforts in sharing examples of healthy communication in various couple situations. Many of us don't grow up witnessing positive examples and we might be repeating what we have seen. Your work is amazing, we need more of it!
It's such a small thing but such an enormous thing at the same time. He offered to get the babysitter. He didn't tell her to get a babysitter and he will take her out. He offered to get the babysitter to take her out. He offered to do the whole thing. That was amazing
I am currently getting to know a guy who talks to me like that, he's so thoughtful and considerate... this made me instantly think of him :) I hope that God leads us to grow together and I can be loving and supporting to him like that too! :D
You help me realize where I need to improve! You are also teaching me what real relationship communication should look like! I wish I saw more of this as an example in general and while I was growing up.
Please make a video series for all couples especially those entering marriage . This video right here , a gem . Shows women that we are valuable and our feeling deserve to be validated and we don’t need to get “crazy “ with a man .
Shows them that they don't need to support their partner when they're being tasked with additional work to support the family, but to somehow make the situation worse for him? Her feelings are valid, absolutely. But he isn't doing anything wrong, and adding guilt is not going to help him at all.
@@Venjamin she starts out by totally minimizing and apologizing for even bringing her feelings up. It's implicit that she respects everything he's doing and the load on him. She's not taking anything away from him. All he has to do is say, "I know this is hard for you, you're not wrong to have feelings, and I care about you." Is that so hard?
Me. I wouldn’t. He is saying he’s “wrong” for…being busy with HIS JOB that makes their existence as they know it possible? Then SHE doesn’t correct him?? He’s not wrong for working and being busy and distracted doing so. She’s not wrong for saying she’s lonely. She IS wrong for making it out to be more of an accusation than a compliment. And HE was wrong for taking ownership of HER feelings. There’ll eventually be a video about that…as a negative. Stay tuned. Or don’t. But if this neutered, psycho babbling person ever came to me and wanted to explore my feels, I would decline…then leave him. I’m an adult, and I can navigate my feelings quite well, thanks. I’m not the needy and attention-seeking child that every woman in his videos is portrayed to be. Like we need men to attend classes to be men. We could just be women…and let them be men. Don’t be inconsiderate jerks to each other, and all this is moot.
@@J_Fine1582 Each to his own! (Or her own). I would still love a man like that who would treat me with that kind of kindness and understanding. You mention that the two parties shouldn't "be inconsiderate jerks" to eachother... You've evidently never been in a relationship with a narcissist. I have been for 25 years. And I can tell you that I would trade a narcissistic husband for this kind of partner ANY DAY!!!
@@lindyc.2552 I have, actually. An abusive one…in any sense you care to think about that. Married for 15 years to him. What does that have to do with my noticing the flaws in this guy’s methods? I don’t think being condescended to is all that loving. And I don’t think being coddled and affirmed when I’m wrong is either. And I certainly don’t want a man to claim to have done something wrong when he hasn’t…solely to cater to my insecurities. None of that is loving. It’s dishonest. And it’s not at all what this guy claims he wants to promote. It can’t be. What he thinks is possible…simply isn’t. What happens to the man who takes all that on over time? Resentment? Yep. What happens to the woman who gets what she wants from a man every time they speak? Unreasonable expectations? Yep. This stuff is fine…yet annoying…for a skit in a short. But if the expectation is that your man will sound like a new age self-help book for the duration of your lives…I suspect you’ll end up unhappy. Either because he’ll tire of giving in and taking on all the blame for problems…OR…because he’ll break, and just do it as habit, which will lose its appeal over time, and it will get even more tiresome than fighting over the odd dish or dirty sock. At least when you disagree about things, you both know the other one is still alive and thinking. When someone just slumps into the seat of blame and responsibility every time, how do you even know they’ve thought further than, “it’s easier than arguing?” Humans being what they are…
Thank you for this. I'm tearing up because I can see what I wanted but didn't get, and now I know it can exist. It also means I still have some healing to do. Looking forward to fostering and nurturing this mutual safe space in the future!
My husband and I have been watching your videos for a while now, and it's helped us with communication in general. We have a good relationship for the most part but we can both have difficulty communicating (both for our own reasons). These skits have let us see ourselves, and how we can do better from an outsider's perspective. Thank you for making these.
It really does model what we should expect. I'm definitely not going for anything less. I'm learning how to be and my next husband will be exactly like this.
I am learning ,growing ,and healing, and learning to love,because of these videos, I thank you from the bottom or top of my heart : ) have a fantastic day and life !!!
I like it. I think showing what to do rather than what not to do is much more effective for those of us who act like guys, but do want to care for and love our women...
It takes someone who is self-aware & who is doing his inner work to be this approacheable, understanding, a great listener, considerate & having grace & a willingness to work things out with his/her partner. U are great example to emulate. Thank u.
Your comment is exactly the reason I enjoy these videos. An emotionally mature and sensitive husband is not something I'm familiar with. This will never take place in my world either.
I haven’t experienced much of this level of healthy communication, but i’m just so bloody grateful to see it modelled for us so we at least know what it looks like. Imagination is POWERFUL! I’m single and this really helps me see how a good relationship may be possible in future ❤ edit: romantic relationship… lucky enough to have friends and family who practice healthy communication already 😅
I’m glad I’m not the only person who wanted to cry when they watched this. Just goes to show how important it is to take people’s vulnerability seriously and respect it. Something so simple touches people deeply.
