What is Avoidant Personality Disorder? Treatment options and Recommendations

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#Avoidant #PersonalityDisorder #MentalHealth
One of our Psychological Counsellor's Vasiliki Gkofa talks about Avoidant Personality Disorder. Vasiliki Gkofa is a Clinical Psychology graduate and has completed her MSc in Clinical Neuropsychiatry from King's College London and MSc in Mental Health Research from University College London (UCL).
In this video Vasiliki discusses;
Diagnostic Criteria
Aetiology
Four Subtypes of Avoidant Personality Disorder
Attachment style
Treatment
Recommendations
Dr. Becky Spelman is a top Psychologist in London, Becky is the Clinic Director for Private Therapy Clinic which has clinic's based all around central London including; Harley Street, Wigmore Street, Bank, Earls Court & Canary Wharf. Becky uses Psychodynamic Therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) and Mindfulness to treat a range of difficulties with a particular interest in Borderline Personality Disorder and the difficulties that go with this condition such as relationship difficulties, anxiety, depression, low-self esteem, social anxiety, fear of public speaking, fear of intimacy, interpersonal difficulties, anger, body image issues, eating disorders and addictions.
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Опубликовано:

22 май 2024

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Комментарии : 160

@dickwhite7046 2 года назад

It's not really fear of rejection, it's certainty of rejection..... the difference is subtle but worth noting.

@Dave1507 2 года назад

I'd say percieved certainty, but otherwise i totally agree.

@tracy.t7918 2 года назад

Oh wow yeah.

@dickwhite7046 2 года назад

@Dsmv I have....

@spigney4623 Год назад

@tijgertje0003 Год назад

For me it's both, it's certainty but shows as fear

@juanasepulveda 3 года назад

Living with this disorder has stolen almost all my 20s and it’s really sad. I’ve just turned 26 and I hope to return to therapy soon. Thank you for making more visible this personality disorder and make us feel seen!

@geertwilders5798 3 года назад

Hi, I have a question. Have you ever been in a relationship before?

@dr.beckyspelman 3 года назад

Thank you for your comment

@Simonknowsall 3 года назад

Same here, I am 25()26 this year) no friends, have never been on a date. Would you like to vontact each other and to discuss our yreatment and progress?

@drewbennett9520 3 года назад

I completely feel u man, so pervasive this personality disorder, stripped me of so much and made me miss out on so much, therapy/ counselling is a blessing bro hope u get it, god bless man

@Tele999zzz 2 года назад

Got 30 years on you and I'm just putting a label on it. 🙂

@Acarsfault 3 года назад

Lockdown and quarantine helped me to live better.

@dr.beckyspelman 3 года назад

Thank you for your comment

@AliArt 2 года назад

Same

@Amy_is_lost 2 года назад

For me quarantine made my mental health worse. I became too isolated that nowadays i cant even talk to my loved ones. I avoid their calls almost all the time.

@wjc1 2 года назад

Avoidant Personality Disorder really resonated with me, unlike my past diagnosis of social anxiety disorder... at first i had an issue with the word "fear", but realized I learned to cope early on life by repressing the fear, causing the appearance of flat affect and generalized anxiety... it was the only way to be functional and over time it turns into all the other symptoms. an inescapable sense of irrational embarrassment in just about any situation that is a deterrent to every social opportunity. depressing how I thought my inner feelings were more outwardly obvious, and would get better with time.. it doesn't. just finding more ways to cope further causing isolation and lost opportunity. the actual fear is buried deep down in the roots I forget it's even there

@dr.beckyspelman 2 года назад

Thank you for sharing

@bree78rsx 10 месяцев назад

Not so much about being wanting to be liked by people, as it is about only wanting to be around people we can feel safe with.

@ozzieg2415 Год назад

This is why I need to call a psychiatrist asap. This is me. Not tot he extremity but I harbor a sense of embarrassment because I’d be made fun of for my lack of inadequacy(like getting a cup of coffee in a venue by myself, smh), my lack of intimacy(never had a girlfriend). I hate this so much. Thanks for elaborating why we live the way we do. Spread awareness.

@tudormiller8898 2 года назад

I believe I have undiagnosed Avoidant Personality Disorder. Watching from London UK.

@EvilSniper181 2 года назад

You should seek therapy. I have therapy now for AvPD and it really helps. Ask about schema based therapy.

@heythere9371 10 месяцев назад

I have been totally isolated for my entire adult life. Ive wasted my entire 20s and now im gonna waste my 30s. I want to delete myself.

@willwilliamson2814 4 месяца назад

There's always tomorrow. Find an inexpensive sports car for weekends. Obey the New Testament, why not be ready? I don't mean get ready to delete yourself. Life can still be sweet without so many people around.

@frodobaggins3974 2 года назад

SSRIs are unlikely to help - these patients are mostly sad (because of the lack of personal relationships and feeling lonely) but not clinically depressed. Avoidant personality disorder is one of the few legitimate reasons to put someone on a good old-fashioned MAO inhibitor. It will boost dopamine, hopefully facilitating new learning experiences, and bulldozer through any sort of related depression. Don't be so afraid of using older medications. Water is very old, yet we drink it every day.

@slackingoffagain4324 2 года назад

Thank you for the info. This opens up another direction for me to research my own condition.

@Poppy321s 2 года назад

How would I go about getting these? Would I need to be diagnosed by a psychiatrist for this? Or could I get some from my doctor?

@hushmychild6745 2 года назад

Good luck getting prescribed MAOI inhibitors. I've been on over 20 different meds in the past 15 years and had no success whatsoever with SSRIs, SNRIs, atypical antidepressants, mood stabilizers, vitamins and supplements, I've has a full course of TMS treatment and had no response to that either. I've searched and pleaded to try MAOIs at least three psychiatrists, and they all were stunned I even knew what that kind of medication was. I even earned a psych degree and started taking online masters courses because I am so passionate about others, but my social anxiety and depression truly cripples me. No doc will take the chance with an MAOI due to the risk of deadly complications that can occur when you eat certain foods like aged cheeses. I truly feel docs are more likely to put me through a course of ECT before presenting me with an opportunity with an MAOI.

@frodobaggins3974 2 года назад

@@hushmychild6745 It's not easy, but it is also not impossible. My story is similar - many SSRIs, TCAs, etc. And then I saw a brave psychiatrist. An older guy who actually knew what these drugs were.

@demonizer133 11 месяцев назад

Dang, I was hoping for some good news in terms of "known and effective treatments for APD", but to use the word 'hopelessness', to describe how the THERAPIST feels while treating the disorder, isn't very comforting 😅 But I truly do 'hope' I can find a way to overcome what I am certain is APD, because it is so debilitating to my personal life. It's like I can never progress in life, I can't pursue my true goals, because everything depends on meeting, communicating and working with other people, which is borderline impossible for me to do. Not to mention romantic relationships...I have none of which to speak, despite having had a few chances in the past, which I rejected almost reflexively without thinking, without hesitation, even though I wanted nothing more than to be with this person in that moment....and it is so demoralizing 😥

@TheBadSpoon 2 года назад

Thank you for this video. I have AVPD. You gave me hope in citing research to say that its prognosis can be promising. I really needed that.

@dr.beckyspelman 2 года назад

Thank you for watching

@audeayliffe5478 2 года назад

OMG! Thank you… great insight and helpful with my current client who appears to have APD. I especially like your different input (from my learnt theory) when it comes to therapy. Your video also explains my counter-transference and my inner wish to stop the therapy due to very slow progress and doubts of engagement from my client. I also felt my client was withholding some childhood trauma: a 3min dissociation during a session when l asked “if you could erase one event or thing from your past, what would it be”… oh dear! I stayed with her in silence and grounded her back into the room. She was clearly not ready. This all makes sense and concur with my instinct and counter-transference. MANY THANKS :-)

@edwardbond7035 2 года назад

It’s not a fear, to us it is an expectation , an inevitability?

@abbasjradi5001 Год назад

Thank you that was very helpful especially when very few experts talk about this disorder.

@timmurphy4688 2 года назад

I wish I had a therapist like you

@nsiebenmor Год назад

So how do you find a therapist who knows how to treat this disorder?

@nicholashaines8481 Год назад

It sounds like people with Avoidant Personality Disorder largely experience it as a problem that they want to get help for - they see it as a source of suffering. It isn’t merely a set of non-mainstream preferences about how to think about oneself and other people and the world, how to interpret events, how to express oneself, and how to relate to other people. Why isn’t there a well-established psychological therapy like DBT for Avoidant PD? Surely it is just as prevalent if not more so than Borderline PD?

@itsbecca Год назад

That's definitely true, it's not a preference, there's deep longing and loneliness associated with the things they would like to do but feel unable to do. Anecdotally speaking I think AvPD can often be seen misunderstood as just Anxiety, and therapies like CBT, and DBT for that matter, could definitely still be helpful if someone is treated for anxiety. But it is a shame that it doesn't get as much research as other PDs such as BPD.

@Prudenthermit Год назад

Would die for a video on how to help with counter transference, have been dropping out of therapy over & over for 15 yrs cause it's hard to deal with a frustrated therapist when you're trying your best to even be there & they think you're lying & lazy.

@miaturquoise2844 Год назад

The struggle with finding compassionate therapist is real.

@JTCT371 Месяц назад

This is definitely me. I meet all the criteria. Whats comical is I want no real social interactions with anyone, so how could therapy even be an option? Id still feel exactly the same. For me, this is my reality.

@jasonsands5881 3 года назад

Thanks. Good video. This speaks to me.

@dr.beckyspelman 3 года назад

Glad it was helpful!

@sunshinerain5676 Месяц назад

I had a speech delay. My parents were more than supportive and loving. BUT SCHOOL was a NIGHTMARE. I was bullied mercilessly in pre-school, elementary, middle school and high school. My parents fought to protect me but the schools NEVER did

@gabork5055 Месяц назад

This might be actually one of Nic Cage's best movies. Great recommendation! I sometimes think i'm more on the Schizoid side of this at this point or maybe what Sam Vaknin calls an 'Inverted Narcissist' which isn't far off considering my family history and overall past life experiences. One thing which had a great effect on my later life and i still clearly remember was a moment back in Kindergarten when i came to the realisation no one really cares about me beside myself, this moment everyone including my best friend completely ignored my existence. That's when i started moving into this path of just not caring, i wasn't born with that-it developed over time.

@flyingcloud9253 11 месяцев назад

You discribed my sister! She was given this diagnosis by a therapist and I have been trying to understand what APD means....thank you. I believe I am beginning to grasp what this diagnosis entails....thankyou.

@gene2049 9 месяцев назад

Great video. Thank you. A psychiatrist told me I have cluster C personality traits, AvPD. It makes sense to me.

@janeslater8004 11 месяцев назад

I was diagnosed with anxious avoidant disorder as well as significant symptoms disso iation symptoms on assessment at pottergate centre for trauma and dissociation

@jenniferzupan9489 17 дней назад

I have only seen 1 therapist since i was a small child and she betrayed my confidence....but am 99% positive i have this condition. But was told it was bpd. Everything you are saying is exactly how i feel/react with others😢.

@europa1387 2 года назад

Thanks, I think this could be me.

@davidford5896 Год назад

I haven't been diagnosed, but I have most of the symptoms. My last therapist didn't like to give people a diagnosis. I need a new therapist.

@RunToEternity 2 года назад

Ok so I am doing some investigating into social anxiety and AvPD, it feels like I could let depression and loneliness take over all to easily again. But that is not my purpose. It is to help me know what I had and where I am at now. What do I do from here is the question I'd like to get to. It is like just when you promised yourself you are going to be more outgoing this year, the Rona and the masked lockdowns come. Well you know way more than a year now. Safe to say that just gave me an excuse to delay, ugh.

@Tele999zzz 2 года назад

Hi Vasiliki, what is usually prescribed to boost dopermine (your last comment) Regards C

@timmurphy4688 2 года назад

Impossible to cure. I’m in my 40s now. It gets harder and harder

@annisarahmasari5757 2 года назад

what?? I'm 20 now and it seems to be more hard I guess.... 🥺

@annisarahmasari5757 2 года назад

@@Jennchannel24 sorry to hear that, but I still think if there is possibility to cure if we have a lot of effort. go fight for us! (sorry if I messed up my grammar, english isn't my mother language)

@Tele999zzz 2 года назад

You hit your 50s and you don't care so much

@hetedeleambacht6608 2 года назад

`come on man, i1m 40 too, there always hope, if you really want it

@sofy786 2 года назад

It’s proven that it can be healed , hard yes impossible no!

@Miacorr 3 года назад

I feel like I'm having my soul sucked out of me where I feel like I'd rather die because a lot of people I've accepted have been psychological and emotional soul suckers. I shouldn't have let them beyond my acceptable boundaries. Funny, they have no problem being, um, "assertive" (I use that descriptor "assertive" for them with sarcasm). But now, there's no point.

@dr.beckyspelman 3 года назад

Thank you for sharing

@RibsYTaccount 3 года назад

I can relate 100% but just the thought of thinking/dealing with that feeling brings out my avoidance bc of the trauma involved

@Miacorr 3 года назад

@@RibsYTaccount same

@Miacorr 3 года назад

@@RibsYTaccount I like your name. It's like I know you.

@Miacorr 3 года назад

Thank you! 👍

@JustSomeDude31 Месяц назад

All psychiatrists I've seen don't recommend SSRI's for personality disorders. Unless there are symptoms like depression or so. And when I tried SSRI's for depression, it was not beneficial at all for any of the AvPD symptoms. What I noticed however, is that Betá Blockers are useful. Although they interfere with sports activity so that's why I don't take them all the time.

@viniciusvyller9458 Год назад

For years i thought i had NPD cause my coping mechanism for the fear of rejection was trying to prove i was better than everybody. But this defensive mechanism developed from the need for certainty of being liked, from the fear of rejection and my need for affection, i just wanted to create an environment where i was sure if someone rejected me, the problem wasnt in me. Along with all the other maladaptive coping mechanisms and fears, my therapist and i were sure it was AVPD.

@orange-rv9ek 4 месяца назад

Yeah often AVPD presents similar to Cluster B personality disorders specifically Borderline. Because Borderline is marked by "hot and cold" behaviors and AVPD people can appear "hot and cold" due to their hyper vigilance to rejection. They are reading rejection where there is no rejection so they suddenly get "cold." I'm considered "avoidant-dependent mixed features personality disorder" and I appear "hot" when I'm feeling helpless and "cold" when I'm feeling rejected.

@edwardbond7035 2 года назад

We believe we are inferior to others, and fear that those who know us will inevitably reject us. It was rejection in school due to my aro ace before I even knew that that existed. A mere complaint can destroy me. As I am I’m not sure?

@luchien-bull Год назад

I just wanna die because of this, i get triggered if I walk out that door, I can't function its too much

@petermines3575 2 года назад

This channel explains all my problems so well, do you have anything else about INFJ.

@dr.beckyspelman 2 года назад

Thank you for watching, please make sure to check out our other videos on other personality disorders. We can also offer you a free 15 minute phone call with a member of our team, please email info@privatetherapyclinic.com to book your free call

@warrens663 2 года назад

I often wonder if i have APD. Can panic attacks also be part of the disorder?

@fabiodastolfo1207 3 года назад

Hi. What do you think about the overlap between NDP (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), the Fragile kind, and AvPD (Avoidance Personality Disorder)? Do you think there's a correlation between the two? Can you be diagnosed with both. I Was diagnosed with NPD but my behaviours mimick the textbook definition of AvPD. Could you clarify the issue?

@Tele999zzz 2 года назад

Both shame/inadequacy based. My take is the CNPD is an avoidant trying to clumsily self improve.

@gianniclaud 2 года назад

That’s so bizarre to me, I would think they would have nothing to do with each other - or at least be on opposite ends of the spectrum. Quite simply, one feeds off of attention and the other hates it.

@Regina.Clarke Год назад

Given you’re hear curious, maybe consider reconsidering the NPD diagnosis…just a thought.

@JustSomeDude31 Месяц назад

I would urge Psychologists and Psychiatrists to dig a little deeper in AvPD and see that CPTSD might be the main cause of Developing AvPD. I won't say all of the sufferers, since genetics play a role for some as well. But most people with AvPD most likely have CPTSD, and the problem with AvPD is that trying to get to a point that a therapist can see to the deepness that reaches to CPTSD, is the fact that we AvPD people, have a hard time opening up, especially to such an extent, that trauma is revealed.

@Besotted85 7 месяцев назад

If you are aware of this (like i am) Can i just learn to do the opposite of what i used to do? Go aginst my "instaincts?" Could it be a solution?

@gabork5055 Месяц назад

It might work if you just 'turn off yourself'. At some point when i was still in school (17 years old at that time)i did that after changing schools, basically acting like it wasn't even me. Made some friends that way and felt great for the first time in a while after a long depression because it became clear i wasn't judged by SOME people but still couldn't stomach being around the majority of others so i left that environment shortly after. That was before i self-isolated entirely but i'm not saying it can't work at all. Oh and almost forgot i also worked for half a year in a construction site as security a few years after that school, i managed to handle people pretty well-almost felt like i was somewhat charismatic because some of the co-workers like the two women handling the cleaning service and i managed to work so well together. You can definitely function with this but most people will probably be draining all your energy so keep that in mind.

@_Trakman 3 года назад

it can be fear of intimacy and fear of enmeshment too, don't ask how i know..

@dr.beckyspelman 3 года назад

Oh yeah that’s a good point. Did you study psychology?

@_Trakman 3 года назад

@@dr.beckyspelman yes i have, because I have all these patterns and a whole lot more. Including covert emotional Incest. Mom made me her mini husband from such a young age I thought it was normal.

@Miacorr 3 года назад

Yes

@PriyankaGupta-ew1li 2 года назад

Your must be narcissistic! And ahe sucked the soul out of you? Didn't she?

@PriyankaGupta-ew1li 2 года назад

@@_Trakman I want to know wat does it mean by your mom made you her mini husband?

@Drpermer Год назад

Thanks for the video! I've always thought of my drive to avoid others as a gift rather than a "disorder". I consider a successful week if I only come in contact with 2 people, my boss and a grocery store clerk. I don't fear ridicule and rejection as much as I find our species to be largely ridiculous, self-centered, and all-around awful. I think you forgot the "FU" attachment style, lol

@benitofernandeztorres3485 Год назад

That sounds more like schizoid personality disorder.

@raindavisz Год назад

Yeah, you seem to be Dismissive Avoidant rather than Fearful avoidant if that's the case. Though, they can broadly overlap.

@leethompson5634 4 месяца назад

Why do you describe avoidant attachment style as a disorder? And why on earth would you recommend medication for it? A bit of therapy and a willingness to work on your behaviour patterns is all someone needs if they want to have a more secure attachment style.

@dr.beckyspelman 4 месяца назад

Avoidant attachment style and avoidant personality disorder are different.

@leethompson5634 4 месяца назад

@@dr.beckyspelman oh right, I didn't know that, thanks for replying.

@TheProphessionalGeek 2 года назад

Sorry, what was that Nic Cage movie called?

@ActionAlligator 2 года назад

you can playback any section of the video you want, you know? lol

@Misitheus 2 года назад

For treatment I just became an alcoholic....they couldn't help me...

@lexa2151 2 года назад

Me too thats how bad it is

@divpolitics9520 2 года назад

Yeah it's shitty to be able to see the world that could be possible under alcohol or XTC. Well it's fun but it depressing it takes substances.

@jerryb5995 2 года назад

that worked for 20 years but I didn't want to die

@revmeno4572 2 года назад

I’m autistic

@chanelflores8179 3 года назад

please be my therapist

@dr.beckyspelman 3 года назад

Thank you for your comment, we hope you enjoyed the video

@moizkhan4204 2 года назад

Cutest doc😍

@pewlivepie5006 2 года назад

A manual's criteria is not enough.

@pewlivepie5006 2 года назад

avpd is something really fucked up

@dr.beckyspelman 2 года назад

Thank you for your comment

@andrewmass1414 Год назад

Super cute lady.

@darzphonegraves3705 2 года назад

Hi! I don't think I would trust you or any therapy. I think it would alienate me from myself instead of feeling more like a better me. I would likely be your copy of me an imposter and that's not good.

@JustSomeDude31 Месяц назад

Please Please don't use Atachment Styles along with AvPD, it's just not right. It's speculative at best. On paper they might look fitting, but more often than not, they're not! It's totally different! And most of us AvPD people hate it when we get fit in to those labels too.

@douggta6 Год назад

What if i don't give a shit about rejection but i love loneliness!

@heythere9371 10 месяцев назад

Then you dont have avoidant personality disorder. Youre just a loner

@exposingproxystalkingorgan4164 5 месяцев назад

Relationships are a modern shit show. Only weak simps wkuld subject tgemselves to tgat type of abuse and scam. 🤨

@djignatin4043 2 года назад

I AM avoidant. I hate people. and there is nothing wrong with that. FTW.

@dr.beckyspelman 2 года назад

Thank you for sharing

@djignatin4043 2 года назад

You I included in that group. LOL

@bobk6019 3 года назад

you look mid 20s tops

@dr.beckyspelman 3 года назад

Thank you for watching

@JaysonT1 Год назад

Had me up till...let's pump you full of drugs

@MBasaar 2 года назад

My avoidant personality only appears hey gorgeous lady like yourself lol wish I could be myself just like I am with guys and with less attractive girls