What To Do When I'm Waiting For A Relationship? | Alyssa Bethke 

It’s like you were in my head this week! This subject has really been on my heart and mind these past couple months but recently I realized that I first need to work on my relationship with God and really understand what love truly is. How can I seek “love” when I am not fully seeking the heart of God first. Thank you for this. Love you guys!!

Seriously what I needed. Never have struggled with this specific topic until this last month. Trying to focus on myself and my relationship with the lord! I know I’m not ready for marriage yet, but still it’s hard!

Thank you so much, Alyssa! I’m 25 and have never had a boyfriend. You say it perfectly. I have a choice: I can choose to be bitter or I can choose to trust. My perspective completely alters based on which one I choose. Thank you for this wisdom!

For any of those people out there who listen to this video and want to take it to heart yet still struggle with the idea, I totally have been there. I didn’t get my first boyfriend until the age of 25 and I fell very hard for him. My biggest problem was trusting God with our relationship and I started to do things the earthly way. I thought I was in a place for a relationship but now after 2 1/2 years he broke up with me. I’m thankful for the relationship because it revealed the deceit of my own heart. I thought I was ready but hadn’t even dealt with my baggage from my past and trust me it came out in the relationship. Yet I wanted to blame him, and although he did contribute to some problems, I had to take a long hard look at myself, my actions and the lies I had been believing about myself, God, life and how I thought a man could fulfill me and provide my needs. It’s easy to know the head knowledge but trust me if you are a child of God sooner or later God will get your attention to reveal what your really putting your faith and hope in and sometimes it’s painful. So if you are in a season of singleness really lean into Jesus and let God show you things about yourself because it won’t get any easier in a relationship and once it ends you’ll have more to work through. Don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t have traded my time spent with this man. I learned how to be vulnerable in a way I had never been before but it’s painful every day now. I still have hope that God may bring us back together one day but now I know God has things to heal and restore in my life. Now I know his timing is always perfect, I just have to keep walking in faith.

I find this interesting (and perhaps inapplicable) as someone who *likes* the stability of being single. I find relationships often heartbreaking and single-life much more stable, peaceful, and fair, even if less exciting at times. And while I do think the right relationship will come along one day, I don't regard my current status as "waiting" whatsoever. I regard it as LIVING my LIFE (as opposed to a shared/family life or someone else's life)!!! And i love it! If anything i want to complete more of my own journey before continuing or starting a new journey w/ anyone else. I cherish the opportunities to learn on my own, to pursue my goals, and to do everything/anything i wish (within my current responsibilities) as much as I can and while I still can!

Yes! Thank you! Really been longing for a man now these last few weeks and I just really needed some encouragement. I know I´m not ready for a relationship yet, but I just really want that companionship. And it´s so nice to read the comments and seeing that I´m so not alone in this. Thank you Alyssa

I know this isn't related to relationships, but I could really use some prayer. I just got news today that my financial aid is going down and I don't have the money to pay the difference. I have 2 semesters left of school and I know that God has called me to where I am now and to finish my degree. It's just hard to have faith through it all right now. ❤️

Thank you, Alyssa so much for this video. This has been my struggle for many years and this spoke right into my situation. Thank you for this word of encouragement.

I am actually doing a video today on saving yourself until marriage so your video really hit home. Thank you for sharing. God bless you.

Really needed to hear this especially near the holidays when my family ambushes me on why I’m not in a relationship

So simple yet poignant. Thank you sis and God bless you❤

I am over 40....and still waiting. No one talks about that. I trust Him so much!!!! He has chosen to keep me to Himself! God is enough......and this life is about knowing Him and making Him known. So, He is enough for me. And yes, I so desire a husband and children. But, I want Him so much more so, I trust Him and what He has for me.

Thanks Alyssa! I really needed some encouragement on this today! I knew I could come to a video of you talking about relationships and be uplifted!

I kind of wish we could address the elephant in the room 😭 lol Christianity and a lot of churches present marriage as the end all be all. We tie a mans pursuit of a women to Gods pursuit of our hearts. We have one trillion books on Christian dating advice And girls in church are raised to believe that a man purposing to them is the best thing that will ever happen in their ENTIRE life. And most importantly we ALWAYS talk about singleness from the stand point of "you need to learn this" "you haven't reached ___ yet" "Once you do A B C then you will get married" and the list goes on. Lol Plus we just talk about marriage waaaayyyyyyyyyy too much. What I've just said above is not a personal attack to Jeff and Alyssa ❤️ but just my opinion on singleness in the church overall. It's just too much unnecessary pressure hahaha. But I can't blame the church because society pressures women about relationships as well to be honest. I think we just need to celebrate people where they are and love them in all seasons. I'll be 23 in a few weeks and I've never been on a real date or kissed. Singleness started to sting when I turned 20. I deeply value my alone time and know myself very well. My struggle is with not being pursued. It's like I'm not even given a chance haha. At this point I just want to keep an open mind. I will have my back and pick up my little single broken heart over and over and over again. Before I date someone just to fit in or make me feel better lol. My prayer is that I have enough strength to wait for the love I deserve.

Thank you guys for putting out such helpful content, I look forward to watching your videos. ♥️

Yes!! I needed this it's coming up to my 21st birthday, never been in a relationship. Thank you for this

I had a boyfriend once. We broke up six years ago when I was 21. We started dating three years before. I had so much anxiety in that relationship, that's why I ended being happy to be out of it. Somewhere deep inside, I don't think I ever liked him. I hope to eventually have someone again, but hopefully I'll never again be with someone who i felt the way I did in the last relationship i was in

Thank you for this. I really needed this ♡

Thanks for sharing, Alyssa! Needed to hear this today.

Amen amen amen! This is such a great encouragement to me today. Thank you so much for sharing - exactly what I needed to hear today :)

So so good!!!! Thank you Alyssa!

this has been on my mind so much lately in the past few months. it feels like literally everyone around me is in a relationship, which makes the situation feel even worse. thank you for this simple reminder that we need to trust God first and foremost. i know i'll be coming back for encouragement in the future :)

That was put so lovely and so good 💕 Love how you pointed out that there are many 'waiting seasons' in the bible 💕 love you both x

Thank you Alyssa. I believe your words to be true and for the first time it feels like a friend agrees with my heart. I have three close friends and they all believe that if I want to be in a relationship as much as I do, I should try harder to meet this guy. When in fact I choose to prepare myself for marriage, in silence and prayer but also in 'doing life' alone and being a friend , grow in my relationships with others etc. It's not really in my nature to go out, dating guys.. it doesn't fit me, it would make me uncomfortable and probably unhappy. I'm 31... and yes even for me it feels like the marriageandmotherhoodship has sailed.. but even so. I'll keep on waiting on the shore.. for its return. I'm like a lighthouse, shining on the sea. :) May God bless all of you waiting. I'm out here, waiting, wandering, living and praying too.. we will be ok.

Needed this today!! I'm the "Single Pringle" in my group of friends and as a 24 year old, never in a serious relationship woman, it can be hard BUT I'm glad I'm serving a great big God with a plan greater than I could ever imagine. Thank you so much for this!! :)

That was so helpful! Exactly what I was going through.

Alyssa you are so awesome. Thanks for your wisdom and I thank our God for what He puts on your heart to share with us.

Thanks for the encouragement! Gods choice will be worth the wait for all of us! But it can seem like forever when we are trying to just be patient and wait on God and we need each other to lean on for support! Thanks for sharing! Needs this! GBU!😇💖

Such sound advice, i really appreciated this thank you.

So true...i love this

So needed this Thankyou so much.🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

Love this!

Needed to hear this, thanks Alyssa :)

❤️ thanks for this video !

Thank you for introducing me to Unbound!!!

Thank you for this video. Really needed the encouragement! God bless you!

I appreciate her. I wish she did more videos.

Love your insightful thoughts and words Alyssa. Deepening my relationship with God is at the forefront and I know that my season may come this I believe.

Thank you! I was literally just thinking this and open RU-vid and boom

thank you for this Alyssa. I was in a relationship that I thought was headed towards marriage until recently and it's hard thinking that I have to start over and find someone else, because I do want someone and a marriage. I am only 23 so I know I have time and I'm still very young. I'm still figuring out my career and where I want to live. I know God is in control of my life, but it is hard and waiting really sucks haha. But I'm really enjoying this time in my life :)

Alyssa, watching this video was like hearing God speak directly and so kindly to my heart. Thank you!

This video is absolutely encouraging. Very well said. I needed to hear this!! If we are not satisfied in Christ being single, why would we be fully satisfied when we have a husband? Only Christ can fully satisfy!

Great message! If we are looking for a spouse to complete us, then I believe we're missing out on the fullness of what we can have through our relationship with God. However, when both we and our potential spouse receive our fulfillment through our relationship with God, then I believe we can really build each other up and further strengthen our relationship with God and each other through marriage. God has to come first, though. (This was written by a single guy, so it's theory rather than life experience... Except that I know God is amazing, and I am constantly growing in my relationship with Him)

Alyssa is so awesome ! 🥰

It help me a lot!!! Thank You!!

I love you too❤❤❤

this is Legit advice!

When you said "Jesus is the one who does life with us." that really struck a chord for me. I've definitely been waiting for this, and although I'm only young (20 year old lol) I feel likt I'm running out of time for finding a husband. I kee praying to God and asking that he send me someone to do life with. But when you said that it really made me realize, Jesus is who I need to do life with. Just thank you for that! May God bless you!

Thank you.. I really needed to hear this.. it been hard these past two years. but I trust in the Lord that he will bring someone I truly love. first I need to learn to love my father before anything else.

A beautiful reminder. Thank you Alyssa. I am complete in and through Jesus and someone in my life, when he arrives will be an added bonus!

Great video! This is exactly what the Lord has been saying to me lately.

Our relationship doesn’t end here lol it continues as we transition to either marriage or whatever status we hold. It’s not easy No not at all but yes true intimacy is from Jesus! Marriage is work! It’s takes two people building and making a marriage! I’m still waiting but hey I got a lot to pursue in God while I wait and pre-screen men hehe! Be encouraged and serve!!!

very reminiscent of your e-course. I'm single. I have someone persuing me but I don't feel that way towards him. I feel bad for it. I've told him but he says that he will not give up. we are "just friends" but he says he is in love with me and crazy about me. I've had to draw a lot of boundaries. :/

Oh my gosh THIS

Fools rush in where Angels fear to tread! As a youngster rash and arrogant I made the ultimate in mistakes (something that cannot be reversed), being in a relationship out of marriage & baptism. The gift I was given I squandered in a silly, stupid, foolish & lustful moment with a stranger to satisfy my ego's warped desires, it was such a waste of the gift! If you are young and your bored, lonely, "eager", lustful, impatient, headstrong & impulsive like I was, then the worst thing you could do is follow my example. The best thing you could do is be wise with this gift God gave you, don't misuse it, ask God to help & guide you to happiness, love and peace. . .

She's so sweet man

Can you guys do a video on unhealthy relationships? What that looks like? If the relationship can be restored after first time around being unhealthy?

Alyssa I was so screwed up when I was your age I was totally incapable of dating, much less developing a relationship! I was saved, but I still was so emotionally wounded God wanted me to allow him to heal me. But I tried to find a wife against his will and suffered so much for so long because I wasn't ready! If I knew then what I know now I would have become a eunuch for the Lord!

Thanks for the video, Alyssa. I really learned a lot. As a man of the Spirit, I have to the follow the unction of the Holy Ghost and give y'all a snippet of the prophecy that the Trinity give me. God spoke to me one day and asked me "son, why are you still single?" I said "I'm following your word, Heavenly Father." He replied "that's nice, son and I really do appreciate it so why are you single?" I couldn't answer him. He sighed for a bit and called his secretary over (please ask God why does he need a secretary) and fell silent for a bit. I thought the conversation was over and out of the blue he said "0...1...2...3." Heavenly Father what does that mean? He replied "I gave women in general every opportunity to speak with you and they let their blessing slip away." And he said "Do you want to get married?" I said "Sure, why not." "Son what are willing to do to get married?" "Anything you want me to, Heavenly Father for I am your humble servant." "Boy...I have to tell that you WILL forfeit your choice in who want to marry." God said ominously. "Whatever you say, Heavenly Father 'cause I'm cool with it." I exuberantly proclaimed. "GOOD" he said in such fervent tone. "Son, those numbers are women who I hold in high regard." "What do you mean by that, God?" "Son, you know exactly what I mean" God said in a sarcastic tone of voice. "What they do with you is their descretion because I decreed it." I shyly retorted "So that means..." "Yes, child...you are at their mercy." Jesus interjected. "Any names to look out for with those numbers?" I inquired. "You can't find them, Kiddo. They'll find you." The Holy Spirit chimed in. So now you guys know how crazy I am in the Spirit so pray for me and in return I'll touch and agree with my family in the Spirit for whatever you guys need.

Hey, Jeff and Alyssa!! Thank you so much for the encouragement. :) (I just wanted to let you know that the link you posted below ( www.unbound.org/jeff) isn't working for some reason. I visited it on my phone and computer and it says that the page could not be found.) Really interested in the opportunity you mentioned that's in this link! :) Hopefully it can be fixed!! :D

How do you handle it if you are just not destined for marriage or anything like that? Like what if that's not in the plan for you

Oh no, the unbound link is not working Jeff and Alyssa!

You're so sweet😍

I have a friend who is in her 40's. She feels that God is punishing her and is watching her tears and yet still does nothing. I've tried telling her that He may not have a man in His plan for her but she just won't accept that. She says that He's put the desire for a man into her heart so why not give her a man? I really feel for her. Anyone got an answer that may help? I've told her she just has to trust in Him and give herself fully to Him... But she says she has done. Love your videos guys. God bless you both x

Mayb I please get advice. I have never dated before but I have found a beautiful godly woman. Unfortunately she just moved 1000km away to study. Do I pursue the relationship and if I should, how do I approach this complicated situation. Or am I just wasting my time and energy.

We love the Christian videos and we love Jesus Christ. We wanted you to know that we also love your family vlogs and hope you've not stopped making them. I know it's a lot of work, but I'd rather fill the little bit of TV smile time with looking in on Christian families on RU-vid and yours has been a blessing. Our kids are grown and have their own families and it's nice to look in on Christian families with kids. God bless you all even if you don't do family vlogs anymore, but we sure hope you do. In Christ's love - Jim

when you said "whether your desires and longings are fulfilled on earth....or when you go to be in heaven" - are you saying that those of us that are older and still single will be alone and single for the rest of our lives on earth? and that our "desires and longings" will just have to wait until we are in heaven?

I feel it's a lot easier for girls to have the opportunity to be in a relationship than for a guy, whether it's a good relationship or a bad one. They simply just get approached more often.

Yep. 20 and never been in a relationship. Just trying to stay content in God.

I kinda laughed when I saw the title of this because I never been in a real relationship. I never been married or seriously dated. I will be 42 on my next birthday. So, it probably will not happen.

Isnt it ironic that the ad for this video was DUREX... You tube needs to check better on their target.

Hope you are great. Would you include Casey and Jeb Johnson in your prayers today? He is friends with Cory Hart and his wife Pink (worldly) which is fine. I am asking that the Lord will begin TODAY to strategically place ppl in his life and Jeb's life that would influence toward the Truth of the Gospel! I declare they will know the truth and be SET FREE!

What if I messed up with what God brought me? He gave me the guy I was praying for for so long. Then I got scared and I messed up. I feel so terrible for what I did to Him and to myself 😔

I am a men also looking for women for marriage , I never dated or married .

Does this still apply us guys?

I'm 36.... never had a boyfriend. And I want a husband so badly... but hey... definitely not going to happen for me anymore.. 😥

I want to trust. But it's like those who seek him on this topic and wait... seem to be forgotten. Like he doesn't care about my heart my feelings and what I feel like I need. If God doesn't have a man for me... then I pray take this feeling away. You are an almighty god... then you can do this for me. If you do have someone for me... then what's taking so long? Sigh it's like God just loves to make fun of me. Waiting sucks. Trusting sucks. So how to regain that trust when he's not there to help you along? Just kind of type thinking.

I am Gali, in the year 1980 I lost all my hopes, I became a thief and club dancer. At that time I heard about Christ, the Lord spoke with me though the Scripture. JOHN 14:6 “I AM THE WAY THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE NO MAN COMETH UNTO THE FATHER BUT BY ME.” I surrendered my life to Lord Jesus and confessed that He is the only Lord and died for my sins to deliver me from all my sins (Karma). When I totally surrendered my life to the Lord He has delivered me from evil spirits, which suffered me about 6 years. I became a new person in Christ. I love Bible so much and started memorizing the scriptures. By the grace of God I have memorized Five Thousand (5,000) Verses from the Holy Bible. Every week I also remember all the verses. Morning time I remember about 1500 verses for praise, worship and prayer. (Including 100 Psalms). This practice helps me to grow strong in the Lord and also to help others for the glory of the Lord. John 14:6 is my favorite verse; I preach this word to many unsaved people that they may find the peace in Jesus Christ because He is the Lord of all. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-GWViryWWch4.html

Single man kind 47 :( x

What if your 42 and only be Christian for 6 years?

Could the answer be that more men need to rise up?? I feel there is a disproportionate amount of women waiting vs men waiting. Where are the Godly men in church? where Are the videos dedicated to raising up christian men prayer warriors? ...rather than just telling girls to hold tight and wait. The.body was meant to move

In all areas of my life, i'd rather trust the God of the universe than continue to make human mistakes because I didn't listen!

Women have all the leverage, advantage and perks, when it comes to have a relationship, dating, sex etc... It's always the man with the "hyperinterest" in women, sex, dating etc.... always the man doing the pursuing, running the entire length of the field. If your a women and your "struggling" there is something wrong that. If your patiently going about it you'll never get there. Women always sit there idling, vegatating waiting for a man to jump out the sky blue.

Ew

"Those who marry will face many troubles in this life" St Paul. Go MGTOW men

I am Gali, in the year 1980 I lost all my hopes, I became a thief and club dancer. At that time I heard about Christ, the Lord spoke with me though the Scripture. JOHN 14:6 “I AM THE WAY THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE NO MAN COMETH UNTO THE FATHER BUT BY ME.” I surrendered my life to Lord Jesus and confessed that He is the only Lord and died for my sins to deliver me from all my sins (Karma). When I totally surrendered my life to the Lord He has delivered me from evil spirits, which suffered me about 6 years. I became a new person in Christ. I love Bible so much and started memorizing the scriptures. By the grace of God I have memorized Five Thousand (5,000) Verses from the Holy Bible. Every week I also remember all the verses. Morning time I remember about 1500 verses for praise, worship and prayer. (Including 100 Psalms). This practice helps me to grow strong in the Lord and also to help others for the glory of the Lord. John 14:6 is my favorite verse; I preach this word to many unsaved people that they may find the peace in Jesus Christ because He is the Lord of all. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-GWViryWWch4.html