No one should cut off a whole circle just because of that one single person. It makes sense in romantic relationships, but I'm not giving up my social life for that one frenemie
@Listening4n0w Not everyone can cut them off. Sometimes those ppl are family. To stop going to family functions just because of an issue with one family member does not work for everyone. So distancing could mean, you don't engage with that person but you still attend events that they too may have been invited to.
I am happy that you recognized the friend that wanted you to have more kids to be miserable. Many people do not. When I was younger, all the miserable people was pushing marriage and kids on me. None of them had a good relationship with their children or successful marriages. I remember when I used to work at one of my old jobs, the older female employees would always encourage me to do overtime. They would say "oh you are young, you should do OT, I did when I was your age". In my mind, I was like "and look at you now". They all had some kind of health issues and stuff. I did not need the money. So why would I volunteer to give up my time and energy just to add stress to my life for some extra pay that adds up to peanuts? Moral of the story, you can't take advice from everyone and not everyone likes you. Be smart and use discernment when dealing with people.
I sorta realized that most of these people who experienced frenemies are good looking, or just had a better life than the leech that pretends to be their friends. I kid you not...people dont like when you do better than them. When you have a good career - they dont wanna believe or hear about it. But when You're having a hard time they are all "🥺🥺" for you. Then there are those who only come to be your friend just because they want something from you and discard you the minute you give them that. The truth is, there are too many unhappy, unfulfilled people in this world. When something feels off- trust your gut and move away.
I find this is incredibly true for women. I have no sense of envy of beautiful people, I will actually freely compliment others with genuine compliments. I really cant understand the envy/hate mindset. The planet is big enough for all of us.
it's not about being better off with material things... it's about being genuine along with whatever you have which is usually a good personality or looks. people treat me like this and I am broke. I always have been. I think that's why bc they don't understand how I can exist. I am pretty (hard to say still) and I'm very good with money even tho I barely have any. I know how to find a good deal and used clothes and furniture that's very nice but it was ALL CHEAP. and people HATE ME. I don't get it. they want to be my friend and know what I'm doing all the time but they treat me like shit and talk behind my back. I also grew up extremely poor and have trauma. which also breaks their brain bc they just don't think someone like me can exist. they want to put me down and make me shut up bc I'm the type of friend who doesn't co-sign BS. not an asshole but I'm not a bad friend so I'm not gonna tell you that crazy shit you're doing is okay 😂
@@wmd40 thats very true they hate survivors who fought their trauma and are still shining They hate when you do good with nothing and still remain a decent person they are joy killers Several narcs told me so before trying to break me I pray for all your wishes and achievements come true
I'm 34 and definitely have been through it with females. I don't do friends from either genders! I'm kind and love meeting ppl but friends? NOPE. Ppl switch up quick! Especially now that I'm a mom! Ppl will hate on your children and I'm not even playing that game.
This video has really reaffirmed why I've let so many friendships fade. I was the passive people pleasure, or desperate friendship bomber at times, to avoid the shame of not having friends. I have had a lot of haters. Now I feel better that I've decided to focus on my path and my interests and let these people go. It doesn't go without loneliness and shame, but this made me feel better about my choices.
I blocked a narcissistic ex friend when I got tired of the gaslighting and little jabs. When I cut her off she got vindictive and messaged another one of my friends and talked trash about me. Told her that even her husband never liked me. Her husband was always nice to me, I think she was trying to instigate. No patience for drama
I have a general rule for "friendships" present days than I did years previous: if we arent 1)Feeding 2)F*cking 3)Financing WE are mere associates with commonalities (place,space,or event at hand). I journal, hike and vent to Christ👂🙌
Feeding? Like eating food together or? Idk kinda sounds more like if you only want friends that are benefiting you directly through finances, that’s more like a business associate. And if you’re doing the second f with them that certainly isn’t a friend 😂
This video made me incredibly sad because I've been through this with two former friends. I found out too late that they didn't like me or want the best for me. It was so heartbreaking because I truly viewed them as sisters. I've never really gotten over it. Yes, time has passed by, and I harbor no ill will. But it's caused me to have severe trust issues. I don't think I can ever get my "innocence" back and view friendship the same. If anything, I'm weary of new friendships. It sucks because I definitely want to meet new people, but what I went through holds me back.
I had one in high school and I did not know that until I matured and realized it. She jeopardize my relationship and convinced me that my man wanted her and settled for me. I was young and believed her and didn't realize until a few years ago (I graduated high school in 2012) that she was just hating.
I agree with the woman that says friends try to hold you from stupid things. Friends are not only cheerleaders and yes people. We need people to tell us the truth!!!
Yeah I love people who tell me the truth no matter how bad....and I'm also the kind of friend who'll always keep it real with you I won't lie to you to keep the peace.... I'll tell it to your face in the most humble and loving way... you'd rather hate me and thank me later....
My response to the 1st girl nah see that's where your wrong!! You find out your "friend" hate on you then you bounce ASAP!! Why keep someone in your life that hate on you unless you like that toxic negative ish!! This is why a lot of women are being murdered by their "friends" bc they kept the enemy around!! Get new friends or ride solo.
Had a friend to invite me into her friend group only to find out she would talk ish about the other girls, then go back and tell them I was talking about them. It didn't take long to figure it out. We were all over 30 when this happened.
I had one! Jesus it can be the worst feeling of betrayal once you pay attention. I dated her fine a$$ cousin, that boy was fine I tell you😂😂 he turn around and told me she was talking crazy about me to him, saying I’m a hoe and he shouldn’t date me, and that she has better to introduce to him.. he only told me because I was sticking up for her over him at one point, and he blurred it out. But the crazy thing is! The same exact thing she told him about me, was the same thing she warned me about him 😩😩😩 she would also never invite me anywhere because I look and dress better. She just didn’t want me to steal a spotlight I cared nothing about.. I’m just loyal to a fault sometimes 🤦🏽♀️🧏🏽♀️
I just had to totally ghost the world. My mum and i are each others support and best friend. World is far more beautiful spent with my animals and no socials or tv cept RU-vid. I lost faith after 2020 😢. Im much healthier, stronger in myself and financially sound. Be your own best friend ❤😊
Same girl same! But being a uni graduate, my mentality does not help me advance my professional network, even causing a nasty reputation of me being cold and inconsiderate 😅
I just had to cut off someone that I thought was a friend. She was acting like she was there for me in regards to my lawsuit against this powerful company that she works for that was my previous employer. Once she realized things were going to work in my favor before they pulled off something legal again, she starting acting weird/shady. Now that I appealed my case, she recently tried reaching out and I had to let her know
It’s safe to safe that we’ve all experienced this.. well maybe except for Oprah & Gayle 🤣 A h.s friend said to Me once oh you think so highly of yourself. Once she said that, she NEVER saw Me again! It’s been 3 years & I don’t plan on looking back! She’s going thru hell & back, so I’ve heard. But she deserves every bit of it, that’s what happens when you move with ill intent in your heart. Leave these ppl alone with their wicked ways, they will only hinder you.
The girl whose "friend" tried to get her infected with HIV is crazy! 😳Hope she didn't get infected, and if she did, she should sue both the "friend" and the guy. That is truly sociopathic behavior.
My friends have no skincare routine and are fat and have pot bellies. Iam size zero and invest in make up and hair. They never complement my.looks and strangers come up to me to complement. They go stone cold wen someone praises me. They tell me that i wear oitdated clothes and they are all frumpy in their pjs.
Every single time my high school best friend had good or bad news I was there for her. I would cheer her on or be her shoulder to cry on, but never would she ever reciprocate the same to me. Especially when my parents were in the middle of their divorce, I was depressed as hell my senior year of high school and she never acknowledged my feelings. We would eat lunch with her other friends and she would just talk and eat with them as if nothing was wrong with me. Like I understand this is new territory for you too but at least acknowledging that I’m going through something would have been nice. I cut her off after high school and she had the audacity to come back after a few months of not talking to her and asking why I broke our friendship. Like girl you ignored me the last few months when I needed a true friend. Im also not saying I am the prettiest girl but there was also a time when a cute guy on a motorcycle 🏍️ sort of hit on me and she got so jealous. We were both freshman at the time and she kept telling me that if we missed the bus he could just give me a ride home, but she said it in an accusatory tone. I was looking at her as if that wasn’t a bad idea trying to make a light joke with her but she just gave me a disgusted look back . I dont know much about her but I’m just glad I’m not her friend anymore.
I blocked a ex boyfriend narcissist he wouldn't invite me around his friends or family because I always got compliments from everyone around him so he stopped inviting me he would throw things in my face about my brother helping me out with bills when he couldn't help he would talk bad about the people I'm around and I had to notice that now 6 years later I regret it because this whole time I always had a bad feeling about him but I would ignore my gut feeling he would start arguments with me then say that I started it and he would talk bad to his family behind my back im so glad i seperated myself from that toxic nasty energy thank you god for opening my eyes!
Man I just had a flashback to over 20 years ago working at this job where we had to wear a uniform. I use to wear a shirt under my uniform shirt with the uniform shirt untucked, and some black combat looking boots n rockin my long braids😂😂 This girl who was my bestie at work, whom I had no clue was low key envious of my style, came to work one day looking just like me from head to toe😂😂😂 Everybody at my job was cracking up like wth?
Girl when a dude is jealous wew Chile. Omg nope. I thought I was escaping something by having a guy freind. Its worst to have a guy who wants srx pretending to be your freind who thinks yoyr standards are too high. Lawd. Thats why my guy freind is hay and lives 3000 miles away I honesky talk face time, wig off, im the bathroom just like he my man. I get to talk about my hair because hevus a hair dresser. We talk about men and dating. Its the b because he is not super feminine. Idk he has only female freinds. He is emotionally attracted to women. Idk when we used to hang out in NYC i was shocked how many men asked him to hook them up with a woman passing trans.
Interesting how ppl will throw in others faces how they dont have any friends but then these videos keep sprouting up about what they go through behind the scenes in these lil fake ass social groups. I never let no one make me feel away about being in solitude and not having friends, casual acqaintances yes but friends absolutely not a requirement for me. It may seem enviable to have a large group of femme friends or friends in general, but you never know how it really is between all of them. They don't care for each other like that, are all caricatures to each other, they just want to make ppl feel like theyre missing out. So these compilations allows me to see what could have happened if I continued to investing in unworthy people. I am glad people are waking up to that fact that people suck in general.
Family is nothing like what people say, you may have the same blood, but nothing else. Truly a stranger on the street with the same blood if you ask me. 🙃 friends aren’t shit anymore. You’re only as good as the last thing you did for them, all people are about right now is trying to see how they can use you! It’s sick. I go to work and home, I have no desire to build relationships or friendships anymore, Ima be honest as hell.
Im currently fighting a case due to an incident that happened with a family member last year. Which caused me to be homeless in the process. My friend, since like the 5th grade, Wanted to tell this guy that I was homeless. I couldn't believe that was the first thing on her mind. We only dated in middle school not as adults. I just hooked up then I found out he was poly so I was disgusted with him because of that. He keeps messing her asking about me because I have him blocked. She's the only way he could get in contact with me. I just don't know anymore. I haven't felt the same about her since.
Don’t trust her! Someone that has good intentions towards you, would not be feeding information about you to someone you’ve cut contact with. This is a PowerPlay! She’s showing you who is boss. I wouldn’t doubt if your friend is crushing on/sleeping with your ex.
What about friends who tear women's looks down or friends who ask for money, gas, food. Pop up all the time, want me to be around when she have dates, then get mad because I have sense of humor. I tell her stop inviting me for her to want me to sit quiet in the corner, while she talk crap to him or try to humiliate me and act hard in front of man. I have friend I always uplift and empower but she never pay me compliment but make fun of me and others about what we may already feel self conscious about. One found out have crush on someone, so she try to say hi to him and hug him and never did until she found out. She was with her dude and did this in front of him and he like what was that, she say or that my friend crush so saying hi, and he like does she know you doing that? So now guy thinks she likes him cause she started doing that and he not even her type but I guess she just proove she could get him if want. This is why I operate on my own fine. Cause wierdo stuff like this. So now cause she knows I feel wierd now around him, with her around cause she watching our interaction when I don't need her help, or company, when we was having organic connection previously, where we was cute and shy. There is another that I have a connection with a guy but he likes to make all the ladies smile. My other friend think she only one but for years me and him been close, but I choose to keep our relationship sacred and private, while she bash and make fun of him about things I know are not true, and I uplift him, but he flirt with her to make sure we have good day or she will start with something or someone, so she be in better mood when we give her attention. I don't know there is soo much I can say, like I will talk about something I liked or was apart of back in the day, or maybe a gift I have also, but 1st friend she will say that cannot be possible because only she has that gift or she was only one to experience. Two things can be right at the same time and we can have things in common without discrediting someone else experience cause want to be only one... Like if someone compliment us both me and second girl, you don't have to tear me down to up self. We both can be beautiful in our own way... Or you can take complement without pointing others flaws because want to feel better on everything.
if say that I am jealous of something then it is something small like you just gotten a new game, that I haven't yet. other then that ,I want my friends to be their best self and have the best that life can offer 😊 If I ask you where you got something, it's because I thinki it's awesome and 99 % of the time 1% of the it's because I really would want something a similar 😊 I really don't understand the whole jealous of your friends
so i get what these ladies are saying but i will note they are all really good looking. That being said, I do wonder how many of them without realizing it rub their success in their friends' faces.
I had a gay best friend who was so mean and I never realized it until I was away from him. So shady all the time and would make petty comments about me when we were around people. Wish I realized in the moment but that was my best friend and only friend at the time
This is my whole aunt. We’re close in age and I thought we were tight. But over the years I’ve noticed the shade but dismissed it because we’re family. Her birthdays was over the top and I had to be there meanwhile my birthdays which I really didn’t celebrate but when I did decide to go to Vegas or something she always feigned broke and didn’t want to go. I began to realize she never wanted to be around me if she thought I was going to get more attention than her. I let her be the third wheel many times but she literally did weirdo stuff like me , her and her male friend would be in the same place so she would leave me to hang with him them leave me to hang with him, so he and I would never interact. I’ve never once thought to mess with anyone my aunt was seeing but I had 2 different guys I dealt with tell me my aunt came on to them. She got mad when I stopped because she is an alcoholic. The ending came when I got my CDL she literally could not congratulate me. I literally moved States to get away from her.
The lady talking about friends not complimenting you doesn’t necessarily mean they’re frenemies. If you’re dressed to the nines every day, it’s not as noticeable as a change here and there. She sounds like she dresses up for the compliments.
Yeah and the reaction to compliments matters a lot too. If she’s not responding with equal enthusiasm back, I can see how this would create a weird mean girls-esque power imbalance in the friendship dynamic
