Why did it take me 35 years to wake up?! ExJW Story 

It took me 63 years until i went on holiday from england to australia whilst the royal commission was on.that woke me up right away. Been out now 18 months and never felt better.

You are so refreshing! My wife is a JW..........and just when I think she will never wake up.........I see a video like yours and it gives me hope. Thanks so much!

LOL, I remember the exact moment that I fully woke up. It was in the late 90’s at a District Convention, when the GB gave the talk that walked back their “millions now living will never die” 1914 belief. I had spent a decade as a pioneer teaching people that the “Generation” of 1914 would still be alive at Armageddon. I was shocked the way Watchtower presented this “new light” as if their failed prophecy was no big deal! I recall being dumbfounded, and looking around the stadium to see how other members were dealing with this reveal. Everyone was smiling and clapping!! 👏 👏 I remember clearly thinking “these idiots have lost their minds, did they not hear the same thing I heard??” That’s it I was done! To hell with my 4th Generation JW Family, my Elder husband and my Circuit Overseer parent-in-laws.....where is the closest exit?? I left the convention and got my first real world job, an efficiency apartment for my 9-year-old daughter and myself, traded in our field service friendly Honda sedan for a sports car and drove the hell out of Dodge. The Elders harassed me, even calling me at my new job (where I immediately began celebrating Christmas) Finally one day an Elder got through on my work phone line and told me a Judicial meeting was being held at such-n-such time, and for me to be there. I told him that he could schedule that meeting at 2am in the morning for all I cared because I would not be there...and hung up the phone on him. I only returned to a Kingdom Hall once, it was for a funeral when my father-in-law passed away. F this sitting on the back row with my head hung down BS, my new “worldly” fiancé and I sat right smack in the middle of the congregation and I got in the reception line to express my sympathy to my ex-mother-in-law. Surprisingly my ex-mother-in-law was very gracious and thanked me for coming. LOL, my fiancé walked up to my mother (who he had never met) and gave her a huge bear hug and said “Mom, nice to meet you!” The look on her face was priceless!! Yep, good times for sure! As for why it took so long for us to wake up? Heavy, heavy indoctrination and never allowing me to be exposed to anyone who had doubts.

I'm 38, and I fully woke up a few months a go. I wasn't even born in to it! I'm a bit ashamed of that still, but I try to treat my self with kindness. Your video was really helpfull to me, thank you ❤

I asked this same question after being in it for 32 years. But, since we never were allowed to have serious questions about the religion, we just learned to push down the doubts. I was an elder and got a lot of "good boys" and "doggie bisquits" for following and enforcing the rules, so there was an emotional reward for not thinking critically. But once I woke up, I could see how it was a lie. There's no going back to sleep.

I was born into the cult and drifted away at 16, then studied again at 26 and was an unbaptized publisher, and thankfully it didn't go any futher than that, and had my last meeting at 30 feeling severely depressed because I was studying for baptism and it was like I was consumed with fear and guilt where it left me feeling completely worthless. At first I didn't go to meetings because I just did not feel like I was in the right frame of mind to face other people. I just needed to realise was conflicted because I knew deep down I was questioning several doctorines. I had several red flags, the one that bit the bullet for me was being told by elders not to seek out professional help for my depression and anxiety problems because they was fearful a professional might try talking me out of the religion and I just could not help but think that if this truly was 'The Truth', surely theres nothing anyone can say can disprove it. Towards the end I felt like both of my parents was neglected by the congregation. My mother also has anxiety issues and my dad is disabled and as they was able to get to less and less meetings due to poor health we constantly had elders dictating to us how important association with the congregation is, and banging on about family worship blah blah blah, yet they did nothing to really help. The last meeting my mom ever went to (which was around 2 years ago) she came home extremely upset because not one person spoke to her. I'm a much happier person now that I see this organisation for what it is and I can't stress enough how important it is to be able to think and speak and research for yourself. They have absolutely no power over me anymore and never will again. Thank you for taking the time to post videos like this.

Wonderful video. So much for many of us Ex-JWs to relate to. I left in my early 20's when I woke up and realized they were wrong on so many fronts. After spending 20+ years as an agnostic I began to long for a relationship with my creator. I prayed and picked up a bible and read it without the organization's direction. I was amazed as it was all about Jesus who came here to die for me, and you (Romans 5:8-9). I prayed to Him (as Steven did in Acts 7:59-60) and all felt different immediately. I found solace in Galatians 5:1 - "For freedom Christ has set us free, stand firm therefore and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery." He never intended for us to become slaves to an organization, a publishing company... May God continue to bless you...

Anytime an organization tells you to obey them even if from a human standpoint it doesn't make sense, RUN FOR THE HILLS !

Thank you for this video. It took me almost 50 years to finally wake up & I asked myself the same questions. It just shows the power this cult wields. We can all take comfort in knowing we’re not alone & now we can live our true lives! Keep up the good work!!

It took me 31 yrs to wake up, born and raised, dad an elder the whole time. Welcome, you have support.

You the nail right on the head with this video. We have all asked ourselves, "How could we have been fooled for so long?" I think the person you have to thank is Steve Jobs. Steve Jobs??? Yes, Steve Jobs. Why??? Because he invented the computer that made it possible for all of us to gather information from various RU-vidrs and Google and websites that make it possible for us to wake up. As an example, JT and Lady Cee from Critical Thinker might have been able to reach a few people locally with their red flag experiences from serving at Bethel, but with the power of the internet they can reach many thousands. Kim & Mikey, John Cedars, Susan Gaskins, Joe from #4747, Son of Thunder, King of Faders, Brad Zook and many many others would only be able to reach a few people locally, but with the power of the internet, it can reach many thousands and go worldwide. My apologies to RU-vidrs I didn't mention. Its impossible to mention everybody and I'm sure after I post this I'll recall a dozen more. and its growing. This internet community we have here is unstoppable.

Thank you for your kind and honest story. I was born into the witness fold but faded away when I was 19 back in 95. Tried a few times to go back into organization but it just wouldn’t take for which I’m thankful. Take care and have a wonderful day.

Nice you’re back!!!!!!

Beautiful young lady; you are much smarter than I am, because, I was born and raised as a JW and it wasn’t until I was 65 years old that I fully woke up. I knew for many years things were not right, but I could not figure out why, many things did not add up or make sense and weren’t right. I think it took me so long, because, I wanted to hope, fantasize, and believe the beautiful dream so much. And then that beautiful dream turned out to be, finally, a nightmare! Glad you’re so young still, and beautiful.

Thank you for speaking up on this topic. I’m married to a JW and as an “outsider” it’s infuriating to see what happens and what is told. The struggle with the mind manipulation happening to my children now is the biggest battle I currently have.

I recently woke up fully I would say in the last couple of years, I had to do some deep inquiry and meditation on why I was having a lot of current emotional and mental issues, and it all linked back to growing up in this religion. It’s something I always knew was the case, but I was really in denial for most of my life that that was the cause of a lot my problems. The cherry on the sundae is reading now about all of these cases on social media of the pedophiles, I never experience that directly myself growing up, but it confirms for me that this is no more than the truth than any other religion.

Be gentle and kind to yourself. Love it. Best advice no matter what we’ve lived.💓

I can relate to your story as well. Thank you for sharing. Born in, never baptized. I luckily had a 'non-believing' father who helped me escape while in my teens. Even though I knew I didn't want to be a part of this group at a young age, it sadly took many, many years to fully break free from the mind conditioning that had been deeply ingrained. It blows my mind that it took me so long to discover the truth about the harm this group causes so many people. 'Ignorance is bliss.' To be fully awake is such a heavy burden lifted off the shoulders. We are then free to live a beautiful life and appreciate each day without guilt and fear. Hopefully one day I can share my story as well.

your an awesome person!!! I'm new to your channel and really connected with your video..i also went through the same experience. around jes from 1972 and left, stopped attending or faded out in 2002, but afterwards felt like I was in limbo for another 10 years dealing with the guilt. then finally felt freed like 3 to 4 years ago, thanks to all of you guys!!!! so much to say.

My parents joined when I was just out of diapers, in 1968. I left in 1982. What woke me up at a young age was when they made my wife beating, child abusing, alcoholic father a Ministerial Servant. I knew then, that if they gave him a position in the congregation when he was so bad, that God had nothing to do with the Organization at all! I started planning my get away as soon as I was able to get a job and leave home. They DF'd me, but it didnt bother me one bit. I left and never went back. My parents shunned me for 30 some years until they died inside the Org. Very sad that members will turn their backs on their children just because they worship God differently than they do. I think that there are many things to learn from being inside, then leaving. It makes us compassionate and loving to others that struggle and need help when they leave a high control cult of any kind. We all can help take down the Tower.

Ditto to all you said. Born in and took me over 35 years.

It takes some people 50 years or some never wake up! Better late then never!

I was 35, raised in it, when I left. It takes something happening to you that wakes you up. Then, you start thinking. That is what happened to my husband and I. Too much to explain now but I can relate to you.

I always felt a sense of insincerity. The cult taught all of us how to be fake.

MY EXPERIENCE I love when more former Witnesses come together united adding to the new family. I know your outcry, pain, mental disparity, etc. I been baptized since June 3rd, 2012 and studying little before that. I progress fast through the " Bible teach book" publication when it was in yellow lol then progress quickly through the " Remain in God's Love" publication both within a month in a half cause I studied with my Bible teacher daily for hours. Soon qualified for my baptism at a " Special Day Assembly." I gave many public talks, I held the microphones in the congregation meetings, I participated in the cleaning of the Kingdom Halls, I was getting more hours than what's required for regular pioneers in field service ministry . I made many friends and even brought in some I knew from " the world." I grew an enormous love for the supposed " truth " and for Jah . I traveled to New York driving the entire way with a group that invited me and saw all 3 "Bethel facilities ." There I saw the headquarters of the Governing Body and my connections help me see rooms and more than what they actually are to give in these tours. I have many pictures of this experience. Traveling all throughout the country for this religion doing everything u can imagine. Yet.... I started getting extremely depressed cause the more I elevated myself...the more I was exposed to seeing which was so disturbing even heart breaking in many respects. I notice how so many in the religion idolize man . How? Ever notice that when " Special Guest" appear now suddenly everyone comes to the Kingdom Hall Meeting and all now dress up in expensive suits with bow ties to go out in field service? All cause maybe the " Traveling Overseer " is there which was so fake to me. They call it " hospitality...yet it was idolizing cause everyone competing to get his attention. To knock on doors with him, to go out to eat with him, to talk to him first after his talks, and everyone is acting like extra than usual. Once he leaves its back to the opposite. I also noticed that ones that come out the " world " get treated a little differently than the ones who grew up in the religion. Like in meetings...they're hands get picked first over yours. They get invited everywhere more than u. Many didnt work with me just my teacher most times daily. Times where my hand was literally ignored while sitting up front like wow! Elders always get called the most over all and their wives then kids. It's like levels to this of favoritism. Being related to special men can get u greater protection too from wrongdoing than average ones. Steady observing...I saw how much godly devotion, praise , and worship didnt go to " Jehovah God." It all went to the " Governing Body." The supposed "annointed" men who are the Elites over the entire faith of Jehovah's Witnesses worldwide. They are the men elevated to God like status. Can't question them or you'll be in big trouble. So I researched more , prayed, read Bible, and the more I began to look outside of our bias websites JW.org, or the JW broadcast, the Watchtower society's literature, etc I saw the truth about " the truth." Examples are as follows: The over 5 thousand child sex abuse cases aired live on the news where the Governing Body had to speak in front of the Australian government cause their system based off misinterpretation of scripture paved the easy way of molesting children. * The unexpected affair the Society had with the United Nations whom we call the Beast in Revelation that replaced the " death stroked " one . Once confronted and exposed they ended the partnership to save face quickly doing damage control sending many letters and magazines to the members smh they bought it of course. *How we quickly ban anything pagan as unacceptable to Jehovah God like Holidays, birthdays. Etc. Yet I research roots to weddings and saw that wedding " rings" are pagan customs with ritualistic beliefs to why u wear them..also the " wedding cake" and wind chimes are tied to pagan symbolism. Etc. Yet we're allowed to imitate them. I thought if its pagan stay away...yet the Governing Body can do anything even contradict themselves and the masses in the religion blindly follows and defends. * All the false prophecies which the Bible strongly condemns yet our Organization gave more dates of the end of the world....than just 1914. Every prophecy failed of course cause God isn't with them. So once it dont happen they tweak their words and update it to make excuses. The blind brainwashed followers excuse it and say " No they wasn't wrong, The Light was just dim not its getting Brighter. " lol Sadd The Organization back in the day actually practiced discrimination toward African Americans especially seen evident when " Rutherford " was the man in charge. Read all his letters. * The supposed founder of Jehovah's Witnesses Charles Taze Russel was actually a "Freemason ." That's why the earliest additions of the Watchtower magazines had the satanic symbol called " the Knights Templar " symbol seen in Satanic churches to praise the Devil. The " Knights Templar symbol " can also be found in honor of him after his death. Look up his burial grave site..you'll see a giant monument idol of a Masonic pyramid with the same satanic logo the Knights Templar symbol on it. Pyramids, all seeing eye of Horus, Knights Templar symbol, saturn rings worship...all used to praise not God but Satan the Devil. How disappointing yet many excuse or dont even believe it cause they are brainwashed by the cult dominated by man not Jah. *The Governing Body had stocks in companies that made cigarettes and war planes like Lockey Martin , Boeing etc. *Disfellowshiping! This is over exaggerated and misinterpreted from the Scriptures. God never supported flat out shunning cause it wasn't an effective tool to bringing sheep back. They use Paul words about removing a man or not eating with him etc. Or Prodigal Son. Both examples contradict shunning I'll soon make video of. This practice is user by cults when u question their leaders not really God. It's used as a fear tactic after you're baptized. Listen to whatever we say or lose your family, friends, mates, everything u know . Shunning is evil , ungodly, founded by cults, and even Satanist do the same thing . Their exist over 30 scriptures contradicting the practice of shunning. Read your Bible . *Beards? If u have a beard you're not doing anything in relation to Jehovah's Witnesses. No scripture forbids it yet they use " you look like a hippie" as their sole basis.lol All in Biblical times had beards even Christ yet we cant preach if beard is present etc. * Field Service report card. This is your hours, minutes , books, magazine placements, video showings, return visits, etc. when knocking on doors. Turn in every month. You're graded by men and must participate or you will lose privileges and be seen as non spiritual. They grade u observing u closely . Jesus exposes this practice in Matthew 6. Read it entirely. This religion isnt the truth . It's dominated by brainwashing methods and complete worship goes to the Governing Body yet they keep telling themselves no it's for " Jehovah. " I'm speaking out after 8years. Jehovah God isn't the issue...nor the brainwashed Witnesses...its the Governing Body more so who replaced Jah and Jesus ....and put the system in place that made all these sheeple into brainwash zombies. Ex witnesses arent evil apostates or bad people. They woke up and still love all their love ones trapped in the cult. Ex JWs not lost , they're better off. Wake up and stop judging . Love and truth always win not cults founded by Satan.

It took me 50 years. It took a father who is an elder saying "I hope you die" to wake me up. I feel for you and what you went through. If you ever need to talk, I am always available.

Good for you to exhale here. Hope it's helpful to you. I was also born n raised in the cult. Father an elder and mother often pioneers. They have both drank the cool-aide so long they will never wake up to the JW BUSINESS that it really is. Many of us have also lost our families and those that dont leave simply deal with the nonsense because they don't want to lose their families. SAD! To really wake up from the BS feels amazing and eye opening from the lies the governing body tells. "New Light", SURE! Be well and good for you:) Daniel from Orange County, CA.

So cool to put a face to the name...I always enjoy your comments Dawn. Peace, love, joy to you 🙏🎚

I was raised a jehovah witness also. I felt from a young age that something was not right with them. Then while in public school I started having friends. Meeting their parents. They didn't go from door to door. They didn't attend all these meetings. They didn't even think about Armageddon or people dying everywhere. No rotting corpses. They didn't think or talk about any of that. It was then I began to realize how different my childhood was. I so wished that my parents, could be like my friends parents. I wanted to be like friends. Playing ball. Celebrating holidays. Associating with relatives. Knowing my aunts and uncles. I wanted to know about science and the natural world. Evolution. Astronomy. Geology. I wanted to learn about all of that without religion being thrown into the mix. I learned if I wanted to know more, I needed to keep quiet about it. I made the mistake of telling my parents what my text book said about the age of the Earth. I didn't do that anymore. I kept my thoughts to myself. I went with the flow. The older I got, the more I knew that these people were down right strange. I knew I would leave, someday. But now was not the time. It would come. I just had to be patient and being patient is immensely difficult, when your a teenager. The right time finally came but I had some help from a book called, Crisis Of Conscience. Oh, and I couldn't let anyone at the Hall know, I was reading that book. Oh well, I was used to that.

Thanks for sharing. I can understand just how you feel. I am 40 years out of this cult and even now, I miss a lot of the things that first attracted me to this organization. One of these things being that through this organization, I met God and had a one on one relationship with Him for the first time in my life. Even after learning about all of the lies and deceptions that are prevalent in this religion, I still sometimes yearn and hunger again to be a part of this community. There is something very powerful about this cult, maybe because there are so many points of truth weaved into the blanket of lies that makes this organization so powerfully hard to leave.

Leaving jW's is a lot like a divorce, you must start all over and try to put your life back together. It is not normal for any group to shun and turn their backs on you. The jW's are controlled by the organization their whole life revolves around just JW's. This is why when you leave you feel lost and confused, looking for some kind of comfort and direction.

Thank you for this...I've been struggling with this exact question for a while now. I have also been trying to wake my parents..I have no family outside of the organization. It can be lonely. My parents have grandchildren that they refuse to acknowledge..It hurts.

It's great that you have woken up. The main thing is that you are living your life. More people are waking up and leaving in huge numbers. Jehovah never intended for religious organizations to oppress people with his word the bible. GOD WILL MAKE THEM PAY. THEIR DAY IS COMING. VERY SOON. RELIGION IS A TRAP. ITS ALL ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS AND GOD. NOT AN ORGANIZATION.

I was like 2 when my mom was introduced into the JW's by her brother. I got out when I was 18. When I was 21 and I moved in with my mom ,who was reproved at the time, one of the JW girls that I liked called her house and asked to talk to me. She was never very interested in me. Anyway she was asking if I wanted to start coming back to the meetings again. I said that I wasn't interested anymore and she tried persuading a little more but I knew what would happen the first time I went. I had grown as a person and had a lot of friends outside the witnesses. It wasn't till a few months ago that I started using the internet to find out what has been going on with the JW's. I know so much more now then I did back then. Like I just woke up. Thank you for sharing your story and letting other ex JW's know that there is life after the JW's.

I've been in and out of the religion for 40 yrs....finally woke up about 2 weeks ago.

I was born into it and eventually became a ministerial servant and regular pioneer before i woke up. Been away for 10 years now. U are not alone. If u need a story to share , I’m willing.

You are definitely not alone. Forty years in that stepford religion for me. It's not you, there's a mental hold that stays with you for a long time. I've met people that were out for over twenty years and I could tell before they even told me, that at one point they were witnesses. Take care of yourself, look every last one of them in the eyes, and remember that when something takes a left turn in your life...that can happen to anyone no matter what religion you're in or out of. Enjoy your weekend with your beautiful big pup and stay safe.

I stayed as long as I did because I wanted it to be the truth, hoped it was. I got discouraged by how poorly the elders treated my friend who had mental health issues. Slowly I just ran out of gas spiritually.

Still have dreams of being out in service. PTSD. Out 20 years now

God Bless you thank you for the insight, I believe it must have taken tremendous strength to get through such a big change. Your story is inspirational. feels like ive always lived in chaos and im learning and reading too and continuing to grow. I believe what is true will stand while everything in false standing will fall. All I know is I dont know everything in the world and thats okay that is why i accept God for and the simple fact that im alive.

Took me 19 years after entering from Christendom. Even I am shocked that I swallowed lies and crap without noticing.... Now, at last we are free!!!!!!!!

I was also raised amongst this cult. What woke me up was my Mom decided to go back to Catholicism. That's still a bad thing!

I too, was born and raised as JW. I am still struggling to find my true self, but I am getting there. I just want to say thank you, for being so respectful in telling your story. Although I am df from the organization x 21 years now, I still find myself being cautious when reading or listening to "apostate" information, so your kindness and honesty is so appreciated. Much love ❤️

Bless you sister. The reason why you were unable to break free from JW doctrine is because sorcery and enchantment is involved. The mind is held in bondage. This bondage for the mind is very difficult to break without divine intervention. This divine intervention comes in the form of God's love moving you to act in kindness towards those around you. This then creates a thirst for the Truth, which you then begin to seek out. It's the love of God stored up in you that then makes you see what you were blind to before. Thus giving you the strength to make the necessary changes to your life.

from very young till just a few years ago that was my life. all the broken man made promises that I based my whole life on finally just got to be too much. all my decisions i made based on the "truth" when I was younger has left me very broken in many ways now. all my friends were and are still in. I don't believe it, but it's so ingrained in me I can't live "normal" either. .so now no friends to speak of really. it has left me a very lonely regretful life. feels like a wasted life. thank you for your video. sorry it took me so long to get to see it. your doggie. .Rio, I think you called him, is cute as a button! 😊

The individual I studied with, Suzanne would let me sleep overs, go shopping and go get coffees at Starbucks. What first woke me up was the 1914 dogma and added up from there!

My lovely Canadian friend. From your videos I feel we are friends. I was a 4th generation witness, and don't feel bad it also took me 30 yrs to realize that the JW'S were just a man made organization. It does hurt to lose all your good friends and family. Like you said, their love is absolutely conditional. Once you are out, you are dead to them. You have a nice loving personality and looking to hear if you have finally found The Truth... enjoy hearing from you.

Thank you for sharing and being that open about you thoughts. I'm a 2nd gen born-in. We didn't have much of a choice. And, if you loved your parents you probably wanted to make them happy. I'd say the JW watchtower put a lot of fear into me as a kid that lasted a long long time. Plus, I shudder to think how many times we heard the same words, phrases, & sentences. Oh, what woke me up. I remember, vividly, as a kid sitting in the Kingdom Hall. The elder was giving a talk and he stated that all people who weren't JW's were going to die at Armageddon. I know Ive heard this so many times, but for some reason, it registered this time for what it really was-total bs! I looked up into the corner of where the wall meets the ceiling, for an extended time, as the elder droned on. I thought, this is not fair and God would never kill everybody else. I even said to jeeehobah (heard the word so many times I can't even spell it correctly-a trigger word) "I know you wouldn't do that, kill everyone else." This was the beginnings of my mind climbing out & a wall went up. There are large portions of my younger years I don't remember anything. This, I know now, was because I dulled down & hibernated my brain-easy to do in the Borg. The problem was this also dulled my heart-took me a long time to realize this. You said, "be kind to yourself." So true! On a happy note, your doggy (Reo?) is awesome! Love that you take care of him so lovingly even though he's blind now. It shows the tower couldn't take your heart away-they couldn't get mine either. 👍❤️👍

One thing about being born into Watchtower sect, such as JWs and Bible Students (my family became Bible Students when Charles Taze Russell was alive and running things) the religion emphasizes how deeply sinful we are being born into sin. So right from the inception of our lives we are told there is something wrong with us. We are guilt tripped from the beginning. So we have an inherent tendency to judge ourselves harder than “normal” people. So when we realize that what we were taught from birth was not true we can be hard on ourselves for not seeing through the BS sooner. The truth of the matter is that we had been very effectively brainwashed by our sects (whose cultures are very similar.). It took me more than 50 years for me to completely dispel the notions and guilt I felt for defying my religion. I had to get counseling to deal with the serious mental issues that the Bible Student left with me. Breaking out at all is quite a feat and is commendable. The majority are not so fortunate and stay in because of fear. For Bible Students its fear of second death. I’m glad you’re back making videos.

Thanks for sharing your experience. Living "truth" is the first step for a successful life.

Wow! That is exactly the same question I asked myself!! I came up with the reason that I was so young and the cult keeps you Sooooo busy!! That you have no time to stop and think about what you are doing. Is all about meetings after meetings and more meetings and more ministry and bible study etc. You just get swept away with all the crap! And like you I’m so angry I’ve wasted so many years as I’m an intelligent person like you and we just need to move on and don’t waste any more time on this Nonesense. I love your videos thank you so much. I really need to do a video one day as our stories are very similar. Keep it coming.

I lost my whole family because I was raised as a JW . I think for me it was the fear that would turn one into a puppet for JW. Never got straight answers either you ask the elders a question and they make you feel like your being doubtful and then they say that the answers we don't know Jehovah will reveal it in time LOL. I was so afraid while being pregnant because what if armageddon comes. They show you horrible videos on the Holocaust and say that this is what will happen during armageddon!! I was a child watching these movies!!!! They would call it a special talk Ya lets instill more fear !!!!

It took me 31 years. Don’t feel bad

Excellent video. Very necessary. You've clearly explained what's the case with many who remain in the org so long despite being of relatively reasonable intellect. There are various reasons as you've outlined. One is the sense of very supportive community. There is a feeling of safety and security there among friends and family that make it very difficult to leave behind. There's also the fear of not knowing what will happen if you depart.

I appreciate your videos. You give great insight on the female perspective within the cult. My family was separated and destroyed all by their fanatical beliefs. The GB and the elders within the congregation that my JW ex wife is in conspired to have my family destroyed all because I waivered at accepting their inhumane policies. Especially those policies that negatively impacted my children and marriage. You have such a soft approach and are able to explain the situation better than any female RU-vidr I have found. It answers the questions I have and relieves some of the guilt and regret I had when being accused of the one that ultimately destroyed my very on family. Thank you for your videos and I look forward to the next one you take the time to share. Thanks again for your healing testimony.

For all of you in the EXJW community including myself who tend to look in the rear view mirror of your past and regret the years in the cult. “It takes what it takes”... move on move forward only look back to see how far you have come. Yesterday’s gone !👍🏼

when you are born into it, and your whole life you believe it's the Truth. you keep trying to make it work thinking how can so many people all be wrong? when the elders claim to have a direct line to jehovah and when I told them I knew how awful I felt for what I had done..then they say nope jehovah doesn't believe you are sorry and you are disfellowshipped. that is when I knew that I knew that I knew that they were dead wrong. what I did not know then, is that they gave me the best gift of my whole life. my freedom. :)

Another wonderful video. This community is so important or all of us. Thanks again and well done.

Absolutely love your talks! Thankyou!!!

I’m 17 I was born into it baptized at 13 as well. I got baptized because my sister didn’t want to do it alone( I always tried to “make the truth my own” but I never really believed it) . I am bisexual and non binary so as you know jws do not like anyone in the lgbt+ community so I have kept it to myself until about a year ago, because I didn’t want to loose anyone. Also I HATED that I as a woman (before I identified as non binary) couldn’t give talks, couldn’t be a single CO, I wanted to be an elder but that was met with very negative talk about woman. I can’t cut my hair as much as I want to. I’ve always not understood the beliefs and the hatred we as witness felt toward people. I’m a very loving and empathetic person I hated feeling like I’m hurting other people either by not talking to disfellowshipped people or trying to force peoples religious beliefs. Oh yeah! I was also forced to tell the elders about my sexuality and gender identity “for my protection” pardon my French but it is a lot of bullshit! I’m still considered a jw but I don’t believe it at all. My family is “Uber jws” as well as most of my extended family. So I’m scared of losing them I am only 17 so it’ll be hard to just fade away. But I’m very strong in my belief of me and what I believe is good so it’s not that bad. I hate going to the meetings, our convention is next week so that’ll be awful. I hate that no one else sees that it’s a cult! I’m sitting at the meeting and I hear something RIDICULOUS and I look around and everyone is nodding in agreement HOW?! Anyway sorry for ranting I love your videos they make me feel not alone. Have a great day 😁🤗

*Although, I don't know you personally, let me say I'm very happy for you. Congratulations on waking up and truly living a free and truthful life.*

Thank you for making this video. It takes a lot of courage to speak out. It also took me 38 years to wake up to the Watchtower deception.

Your dog is a living testimony regarding how we should all lovingly seek to help others who are blind as well as be open to learning about the blinders we ourselves wear.

Thank you for this. This is part of my healing, learning what other exjws have gone through... I was raised in until 13 and am still recovering at 41. My mom got out, and we did as a family. It went from ultra JW strict to 'do what you want'. Traumatic. I didn't adjust until about 23-25... and still there are items to deal with.

You are beautiful. And your preciousfur baby is beautiful. I am 56. Life is crazy. I have been married almost 20 years. I have 1 son who is almost 18 I left the truth years ago but was still indoctrinated until about 5 years ago.

That's put it well and interesting, it took so long because you were so obedient to them. I get you. So, it takes a sense of rebellion, which is something we don't want to do, but have to do because it's rebelling against scammers. So it takes honesty and humility to wake up. And then it's not rebellion, it's not bad as it seems to be because it's not rebellion, they just make it seem that way. Sophisticated scammers they are because they have time to refine their manipulations and scamming practices. Scary.

your right even if you leave sometimes you still have doubts, but you learn it is a cult and that they are WRONG, you GO ON HAVE A GOOD LIFE AND MAY JAH BLESS YOU

I was raised in great turmoil, drugs, alcohol, financial, social problems and conflicts. Jehovah's Witnesses were comparatively stable, calm, safe, I will always love the JWs that helped me to stay off of drugs, there are far worse groups out there, I could have landed in a much worse situation, nevertheless my spiritual needs were never met, I started reading the bible during the meetings and realized it did not agree with the meetings, I made notes, I thought about it a lot and studied it to make sure, in time I realized that Jesus Christ was talking about unconditional love, mercy and forgiveness and the organization was not, this in itself makes them a false Christ and a judge of law. Jesus Christ is unconditional love, there is nothing you can do to part yourself from his love, mercy and forgiveness, perhaps the only thing I could do is to start judging people. I pray for all Jehovah's Witnesses that they find true love and forgiveness for their fellow man. The greatest, most powerful, most profoundly awesome POWER that God has given man, is the power to forgive, to have mercy, to show real love. Judging people in relation to sins, short circuits the Holy Spirit, it is the only thing that can kill us. May God have mercy on all of us and wake up Jehovah's Witnesses, into a world of love and forgiveness and abundant peace which comes with this positive attitude. Thank you for your videos, you are a peach and your doggy is a lovable little bear.

Thank you , sharing your experience !

Thank you for your testimony. Having grown up Mormon the similarities are uncanny, I went on a mission for my church. During my mission, I found things that showed contradictions. Now I think its funny when i would get upset when JW's would have knocked the doors before us. Much love Ollie Meservy.

Thanks again and you're welcome! Take care and love back at you!

It's worth mentioning that when a person is in a cult, they can't see that they're in a cult. After waking up and leaving a cult, looking back on it makes it perfectly clear.

I am so happy you made this video. I took a step back and thought the same thing about how I could believe all this stuff that doesn’t add up. I have been out for 10 years also. Hope to see more videos. I have thought about making a channel also soon. I feel it’s time to speak up and not be afraid to be labeled an apostate. Lol funny thing is they changed the definition of Apostate to try to strike fear in you. It’s a trigger word to put people into submission.

< even as a young kid, I knew something was wrong with the grammar. Parts did not make sense in English. also publisher who had no press and a "slave" that lived in luxury??? but the notion of an afterlife is a good one. Yes, it is not unusual, it can take a long time.

Nice video. Don't be hard on yourself for taking so long. I was brought up in a similar cult (not JW) and it took me almost as long. Plenty of time for you to make the most of your life now.

Control the information and you can control the people.

Don't feel bad, you are not alone. It has taken me a long time too and I still catch myself, at times, thinking in the old ways. I've learned that brainwashing and mind-control are extremely strong. I was born into the religion too, so we never knew better. I remember when I was about 6 or 7, out in service with my grandmother, the household said they would accept out literature but wanted to give my grandmother his literature. Very abruptly she said "NO", that she couldn't accept it. I asked my grandmother why she wouldn't accept his literature and all she could tell me is the Society counsels not to do that. I remember thinking, what were they afraid of? If Jehovah is the truth nothing could phase him and his word. It just bothered me. My answer to why it took us so long as we were GROOMED TO BE OBEDIENT, so we were. It wasn't in our power. Maybe that will help you let it go.

Fantastic heartfelt video...Totally understand all you said...Bravo !!!!

I'll say it again LT that your open and sincere approach upon explaining what's it personally like to leave the JWS cult and all of its rigid and controlling mental indoctrination is refreshingly honest. If one digs deep into the inner workings of the JWS is that the leaders of this organization were self avowed to their own publishing company and to themselves who then created doctrines to support the continuing proliferation of their own published literature, even though they went against of what the bible teaches in preaching the Gospel by Jesus's instructions. The WTS's game is to completely control people's lives which mostly involves turning people into their own public sales representatives. The WTS. is a commercialized false prophet, there is no question to that, it just another venue for men to bask in the power of god and turn people into their own submissive and subjective slaves. The more the counting numbers go up the more power they have and the more money they accumulate . The WTS twists things up by saying when your a devoted JWS you are serving Jehovah's will and purpose when in reality your serving the will and purpose of the Watchtower Corporation, you dont appease Jah by serving a false prophet So your ex husband cheated on you and left , what an idiot, your obviously a lovely and caring woman and probably a bit too smart for the JWS cult. Live a healthy, happy wholesome cultless life, you deserve better and you deserve better than that a-hole of an ex husband . Give Reo a hug for me, he's a lucky dog to have you. :)

Some interesting thought LT (sorry not sure what you would like to be called). I was in the organisation 21 years and I too wonder why I was there for so long. I am only a first generation I have no other relatives in the organisation. I did think it was the "Truth" and there are a lot of things I still hold to, but more on a personal level. I guess we are labelled as Apostates now because we are prepared to talk about those past years. So good as a forum here on your channel that we can have the ability to express ourselves. Thanks again LT for your videos.

First hand knowledge of the Elder arrangement, having walked away as one in 1996. Guidelines, rules, fashion, and other like items were governed often by opinion. Men in positions of authority putting an ego ahead of commonsense. It was for a weak and insecure man the best place to be, in the real world his ignorance would be outed, his opinion challenged. A paradise for dogmatic expression.

It is incredibly hard to leave. And as you said, the comfort of the community is a big factor. I am in limbo as a fader. I have my own Christian beliefs, but can't move on due to the organisations shunning policy toward those who either choose to 'officially' leave or face being disfellowshiped for joining another faith group; and the impact that has on your JW relatives. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

I appreciate you and will be sharing my story.

It's as you said at the end of your video, you are happy now so it shouldn't matter how long it took. I do get it though because I kicked my self for the same reason too but then realized I think I always had something wondering and felt something was odd. Only took me 31 years but sure feels I waisted time now. My father who past away always said I had a lot of common sense. Maybe that's what helped me figure it all out. Ps: you look very happy and that doggy is such a cutie pie!

Speaking as an ex-jw of over 20 years how refreshing it is to me that you are not hateful of the jw cult and I love your advice "to be kind to yourself. Why 35 years? We were all under a powerful mind control mechanism that played the guilt card on a weekly basis. The fear card is another very profitable mechanism that they use. You are, in a way, taken out of this world where all your friends and family are all you have and know for a certainty that if you leave you leave behind everything that you hold dear. Is it any wonder that the suicide rate and take up of anti-depressants among jw's is far higher than the national average. On top of this as you mentioned they keep you so busy that jw's are not only physically tired but mentally also. You always have to do more nothing is ever enough for their God Jehovah. It's a little like when you see a dog going round a round trying to catch its tail but never can. They take your mind away from you and systematically dehumanise you into thinking that your actions as prescribed by them are loving acts. Interesting to note that the Australian Royal Commission described their actions in dealing with abuse victims and shunning policy as cruel. Your approach to this subject, as we say in the UK, is like a breath of fresh air . Take care and rock on! Michael

Well said! Thanks for sharing your story....and your dog. Now that's unconditional love. :)

I think you were quite awake all those years. It wasn't ALL wrong what we were learning, which can be said of other denominations as well, but it was very one sided. The kid fell in the well when you realised that the love demonstrated in the congregation and especially by the leadership was mostly conditional, while love is supposed to be the telltale mark of true Christianity. It was a hard school, but you graduated with flying colors! Thank you for sharing ❤

Since people generally do not like being wrong do you think pride plays in a role in preventing people from "waking up"?

It took me 28 years. I woke up last week. I harbour no resentment personally. And theres is some good I take from it all. But seeing that the organisation has hurt people like you makes me want to burn every kingdom hall and rain vengeance on the organisation in general. It's so said that the organisation captures such good people

One last comment. I was 19 when I first questioned my faith. My dad was an elder and he didn’t want anyone in our ecclesia (What we Bible Students called a congregation. The term "congregation" is a change introduced by JF Rutherford) to know he was not in “control” of his family, one of the qualifications for being an elder. He kept hidden the trouble my brothers and I were getting into in our teens. My middle brother ( who committed suicide at age 44) at age 17 had spent 30 days in county jail for possession of marajuana. He already had a criminal record for breaking and entry and robbing a business. So the judge mandated an order that he get counseling after he came out of jail. The counselor wanted a family session. At age 19 I had no idea what a counselor was because we were supposed to be kept separate from the world. So we had a family session with the counselor. He asked us all what we thought the problem was. No one spoke up, not even my parents. So I spoke out and I just let loose. I didn’t hold back. I blamed the whole matter on us rebelling against an oppressive overly religious life style and that our religion was more important to my parents than we boys were and discussed all the meetings and conventions we were forced to attend and that it was squeezing the life out of us, and I indicated that was why we boys were rebelling. My father was fuming mad at me, but no one was defending my brother, and i spoke the truth. When he was a small boy my brother was a quiet and sweet kid. But all three of us were very much neglected. We were not a priority in our parent’s lives. In fact we were treated as a hindrance. Our religion was the complete and total focus of my parent’s life and we attended endless meetings, conventions, monthly day long Saturday young people’s indoctrination. meetings, and witnessing ( not to the same degree as JWs, but we did do door to door witnessing we called it “tracting” because we’d hand out tracts at the door.) I can’t emphasize how much of our time was spent on religious functions. I abrely graduated out of high school I missed so much time so we could attend conventions. Our whole family life completely revolved around and was fully and wholly absorbed by our religion. Every waking moment. So as teens my two younger brothers and I rebelled. Of course me being the oldest I was blamed by my father for being the corrupting influence on my brothers. I don’t know how many times my father rebuked me, saying that “ as the oldest I should be setting a good example for my brothers.” Or that I should be like my father and live my life “beyond reproach.” Eventually my teen rebellion caused my life to run off the rails by my early 20s, so I believed that the Bible Students were right about me. I was inherently bad and that in order to straighten my life out again, I needed to rejoin our religion, and start attending meetings again. I was baptized by age 23. Thats also when I got married. My wife was a fringe Bible Student who was having a similar life crisis as I was and we connected at the Bible Students General Convention in 1978. We got married five months later and we’re still married (40 years? how ever long its been since 1978). Funny thing was she was never as committed to the Bible Students as I had become, and I was hard core. Having grown up at the very center of the religion, I knew exactly what type of commitment was demanded of us by our beliefs and culture and what it took to live the Bible Student life. My wife never had that same degree of commitment so it created friction between us at times right from the beginning of our marriage. But that’s a whole different story. It was her influence that eventually played a large part in my seeing that all of this stuff was just bunk. But there have been times I look back and kick myself and say, God I knew more at age 19 than I did most of my life. Why didn’t I just listen to that kid. But again, we can’t be too hard on ourselves. Brainwashing is a hard thing to break free of.

We spent 45 & 55 years in my husband & I. When you're raised this way. It is your reality, there is no alternate option. That and fear. Last year I thought what else in my life have I ever not looked for a negative side before I get into something. I yelp restaurants, businesses, research products I would buy or whatnot. Why would I never look to see if there isn't a negative side to my belief system. That & I would meet sincere other people who I knew felt they loved and served god and felt they were right. They even said they felt holy spirit- something I never felt in my whole life. I realized holy spirit wasn't a part of the elder arrangement, and had numerous experiences being treated very unfair as a young girl with elders. And once I had kids the pressure to baptize them young bothered me and then we were marked for not allowing them to get baptized. I could write a book and go on, like anyone else who has been in for years. But I am definitely struggling with the same issues you are, of trying to still wrap my head around it all. And still since its so new trying to prove to myself I am not wrong and second guessing my decision. And now the guilt of bringing my children into it and how to approach that now is a whole other issue. Plus I can honestly say things have changed so much it doesn't even feel like the same religion anymore. Even though I'm learning now there has been issues since it started. I do thank everyone who has the courage to get on here, share their stories and their studies/ findings. I used to even ask my parents as a child when we left assemblies and see " apostates" Why would anyone waste their time and do this unless they really felt they needed to share their message. Just like we go to service to share our message. These little voices I never listed to all my life... thats one lesson I hope to learn now...listen to the inner voice of reason.

I too was born into the ORG.... I left at 22 n now at 62 it's still the same MENTALLY. My family is still in it today....The way I look at it now it's like the BAIT N SWITCH ... first U believe it's the Truth than U realized it's just an ORGANIZATION run by 7 men who live in WARWICKEDNESS NY... Time is all we have let's make it Happy n Enjoy Life with No Regrets...🤗

I wasnt born in but I did study when I was 8 years old since my mom was, then baptized at 12. Then Woke up at like 22 ill say since took a while to not think about death and so I had times when I wanted to go back.

When they told me I couldn't watch WWF Raw is War I was done

Thank you dawn Elizabeth. Even found a new family in the bad world according to the jws.all the best to you.

Thank you for your encouraging kind words!

I think I am ready to take my power back and I am gonna tell my story :)

I too was born into the org but never really listened to what they said. In fact most of the elders I had are dead now, even the GB are a different set of mindless robots. So glad you are out, living your life to the fullest and able to read whatever you like without feeling guilty. And yes this is paradise if we make it so!

It's really pitiful how JWs tell members "there's a better life just around the corner" for the past 150 years. Those poor folks spend their whole life walking the WT hamster wheel --- all for nothing. :/

He or she's adorbs! As my friend Lady Adalyn says prides their ruin. Thanks again and you're welcome! Take care and love back at you!