Why I don't celebrate my  

I must say, that I can see the pain on your face, I am so sorry you suffered, are suffering, you are valued, even if it is from people on the internet. You have helped me with my journey, and I know many others. Please know we value you and your friendship

"Ring the bells that still may ring Forget your perfect offering There's a crack in everything That's how the light gets in..." Leonard Cohen

This is both heartbreaking and inspiring. Know that the goal to bring a smile to someone a day is easily met with me. Your videos always make me smile, even when sometimes they make me cry. Thank you for your honesty and transparency 🥰🥰🥰

You asked, "Listen, why do you listen to the crazy person?!" Because you sound like my insides feel, dear, and it makes me feel less lonely.

Don't ever forget how far you've come. The little kid/teenager you were would be SO proud to see where you are today. You are important, you are seen, and you deserve (as much as I know u hate that word) to be happy and recognized❤️

Ooof. This brought up a lot of hard memories that I've mostly healed from, but they never truly go away. It's harder as a mother now, a mother of boys even. It kills me every time I hear you say "I did this to myself", but you were a child.

Scarily relatable, from not being invited to birthdays as a kid to being uninvited or told not to show up to having no one show up to my birthday. I hope moving forward you can learn to accept being accepted. I mean that genuinely even though in text comments it might not come across 💕 much love and best wishes

You are describing my childhood and I just want to hug you

You have a beautiful personality and a great smile. Your honesty is so appreciated. You deserve to be you. You are truly enough ❤❤

Thank you for being open and sharing your truth. So glad you are on this journey and that we as your community can be there with you

“Why do you listen to the crazy person who doesn’t have his shit together?” Because we’re all crazy and none of us have our shit together, and it’s nice to know we’re not alone❤ I don’t get excited about my birthday either, for some of the same reasons. Like “why are you people making such a big fuss, it’s JUST ME. Surely you have something more worthwhile to do?!?” For what it’s worth, I hope you got to do exactly what you wanted on your birthday for you and nothing else ❤️

I know you are not a hugger but I want to give a hug 🤗 Thank you for being so honest with us and letting us come along with you on your journey. Just so you know you do make me smile or laugh everyday 🥰 I just appreciate and adore you ❤️

I was on a binge of your shorts and then took a look into your videos. Just want to say thank you for being so open. Imposter syndrome is so real and I definitely feel that way a lot. You are lovely. Anywho, thank you soo much for everything from being funny to also bringing awareness to mental health. From a new viewer from the US.

This is so powerful and silence is so beautiful in the growth. Be very proud of your growth Stu. We see the amazing victories even when you struggle to see them. 🤗😘❤️🤗

Stuart my heart goes out to you. It's a horrible feeling to experience! As a teenager I feel the same way, like I don't deserve recognition or companionship. We've grown up with similar family situations, my parents focus all of their attention on me and give me everything I could ever want. But on the inside I keep thinking that I don't deserve any of it because I feel like I'm a disappointment to them. Love you Stuart, I hope you have an amazing day and always remember that we have your back if you ever need us! ❤️

Bless you that girl sounds like a spoilt bleeep we love you and wish you the best of everything.

Phew...I have to let this vlog sink in first, because your story touches me very much 💜. But it's also so nice to see how those you usually put a smile on their faces, in turn, put a smile on your face in thanks. That is the cycle of smiles 😊 your cycle of smile 💜😊

You’re describing how I felt, or still feel possibly, for much of my life without me thinking about it before. You’re definitely an inspiration and have helped me begin to accept me for me and try to grow. Thank you ☺️

i love honest you are about life. we need more people like you in the world Stuart. you are more than enough.

Wow, this made me cry because I resonated so hard with this. Especially since my birthday is on a holiday, I always felt it was an inconvenience and that reflected to how I saw myself.

Thank you for sharing, talking can lead to healing. The feeling that you don't deserve (good/positive here) I totally get. I go through that too. When I was younger I had issues talking to others face to face. Actually I still have issues talking to people face to face. I have been able make friends though online conncetions like Discord and MMORPGs People listen because they can relate to the feelings/sensations.

OK I was on the Premier and in the live chat so forgot to comment lol. All of what you said resonates with me, I don’t remember having special birthdays. But I do remember loving people making me feel special. And I hope that is what we do for you because that is what you do for us every day. You make us feel seen, understood, and important. Never devalue your self and what you give to this community because we will have something to say about it, sir. You are a remarkable man, I am lucky to know and love you. I hope today and every day brings you joy and peace and satisfaction and excitement. Because whether you believe it or not, you do deserve all of that. Accepting it is easier at times and harder at other times, but it doesn’t change who you are and what good things you deserve in your life. Happy Monday, love. 🥰

I remember first watching this and taking it as nothing, but now re watching it and actually taking it in, it feels really sad but happy in a way. I am so sorry you didn't feel your worth as a child, I hope your mental health gets better and you start feeling more comfortable on a day that is meant for you. You are worth everything good that comes towards you and I hope you start to realize that. Some people might not like you and that is their opinion but you are amazing keep thriving man.

5:02 , this breaks my heart. You are not only beautiful on the outside but also inside, you are so talented, so kind, genuine and thoughtful in how you present yourself and how you want to help others. You are good. You are worthy. You are deserving. Even if all those compliments I had said before were untrue or wrong, that would not make you worth any less. I hope to see you in a couple of birthdays from now happy, and able to accept the love and generosity people want to shower you with. Until then we will keep telling you. (Also it's ok if the only person you make smile all day is you)

We have startlingly similar backstories which kind of explains why I often relate SO MUCH to you (I also don’t celebrate my birthday but it’s also on Valentine’s Day which is…not great) I have watched your journey for the last year or so and you have so much heart Stuart and you give of yourself quite a lot, whether you realize it or not. I’m really glad you have this awesome community around you (and you do deserve it, and I hope your journey brings you to a place of peace and acceptance regarding that). Sending love from LA from another awkward ginger.

Just like you said, growth looks so good on you. So proud of you.

My most favorite quote... Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It's only the sane who admit that they are crazy!! ~Nora Effron

I just spent most of this video crying lmao thanks for helping me get my emotions out cuz it really helps to have a good cry sometimes, much love

so heartbreaking but so brutally honest. you are truly a light in this world and you make so many people smile, think, laugh, and love (just reading the comments one can see the impact you have on others). 💜

Thank you, Stuart, for sharing such intimate pieces of yourself with us, especially since you didn't have to. Different parts of your story are heart-breakingly relatable. It was nice to laugh with you and to be part of the gift unboxing.

You are very brave to do, what you do with that backround. My greatest respect!

I just watched this as a new subscriber poking around. I feel like through hearing you talk I'm understanding myself. Letting people in is hard. Especially after the door gets slammed in your face. (Similar situation.)

Oy, loved this video. My husband and I also don't celebrate our birthdays. It feels false and honestly is a really easy oprotunity for someone to really really let you down. We try hard to show each other we are valued and love every day rather than trying to meet the expectations on one particular day. Still I hope you found some peace this year.

We are all Masterpieces in progress. We are all a work in progress and the parts we see as mistakes and ugly parts are parts of that. Stuart, you have left an imprint on so many people. With the funny skits, the affirmations and videos where you share behind the mask (aka the dark and gritty). I know it has made me feel like less of a freak because it has let me know that I'm not the only one who has felt like that or experienced that. So thank you for sharing.

First of all: Hello from Canada! You're not alone in a lot of your experiences and I can relate heavily. Trying to figure out how to fit in is very hard, especially when it seems everyone else got a "how to be a person" class and they forgot you weren't there that day. For me, anyway, I had a hard time understanding why I should be celebrated because I, again, didn't understand the Why. Why me? The truth is, it's more of a "why not"/habit for most people. They want to celebrate you so you can celebrate them. After a long journey of going through the same stuff and whatnot, I found there's a word for how we are: Neurodivergent aka "wired a bit different" There are folk stories about kids who were notably different and they figured they were fae children swapped in for their own little ones (changelings) So it's nothing new. Happy Un-Birthday, and be kind to yourself.

I feel the same way about my birthday or anytime someone will give me something. Even though I'm quite a bit older. It's still a struggle. You talking about it made me smile. Good to know someone else feels the same.

Your transparency is so refreshing Stuart. You've been a tremendous help to me by sharing all of this. I think so few people realize, the more we put ourselves out there on social media platforms, the chances are good we're usually (in real life) extreme introverts with lots of insecurities. After all, we perform for love and approval... do we not? My tip for you is this, just be good to yourself, and other people... even if they don't deserve it. If you do that, you deserve all the love that comes your way. I sincerely hope this Birthday was one of your best (ever!)... and you actually enjoyed it... because you do deserve it... for all of the joy, (and entertainment), you so unselfishly provide. Knowing you're really a nice guy is just one of the many reasons I'm always Dueting you on TikTok! 😜 * (That and also because you're an amazing Actor!) - Eve McLain - Newsom ❤️

Thank you for helping me smile on some of my recent bad days. Thankful to have found your channel 💛

Thank you for being so real!! I relate so much, and I hope talking about it all helps you like it helps me :)

Self-love is such a long, hard journey. Especially with childhood trauma. Thx so much for sharing with all of us 💛 this was wonderful and really relatable. Have a wonderful relaxing day tomorrow!

Happy Belated Birthday, everything you said resonated with me and my feelings! Thank you for sharing this.

Being bullied destroys you self confidence. It has taken years and the love of my husband (best friend) to overcome much of the unworthiness. Keep growing toward the light and hope you find both joy and peace.❤

Everybody has had these feelings if they say otherwise they're lying. You help others by admitting your feelings so they can admit them to themselves. Please keep going with your awakening and believe in yourself. Rocky Horror Show Rocks!!!!!

You’re so strong and brave and it’s absolutely amazing how far you’ve come. I’m proud of you and that you were brave enough to talk to us and open yourself up! You really are amazing and are a strong inspiration to me! :)

Stuart i know birthday can make you feel out of sorts. Been there myself. You are worth it. Wish i could make you see through our eyes just how special you are.

I appreciate this video because I felt similar things growing up. Thank you. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I’m sorry that you are going through such a difficult time; I hope things get better for you! We love you❤️

You deserve all the good that comes to you believe that you really help so many ppl ❤

Thank you for posting this. Seeing this side of you is helping me understand and accept that side of me. You are appreciated!! I hope you had an enjoyable birthday!

Thank you for sharing this! 🥰🫂

Love you kid... you are an amazing human being.

Thank you for opening up about your experience. I relate to a lot of what you have said and listening to you speak about it is so powerful. It's great that your growing and learning to love and appreciate yourself. And always remember that silence is good for the soul. Sending good wishes

I love this video. Thank you for creating a safe space

I have never related to a video so much, I understand the struggle of feeling like you are not deserving I have felt like that most of my childhood. Thank you so much for being so open, you make people feel like they are not alone. You deserve all the happiness in the world, you make people smile, laugh and think, you inspire people to chase their dreams and love themselves. Never forget how amazing you are ❤️ happy birthday ❤️

I get it. I’m actually surprised the feelings I am feeling, hearing someone say the same things in my head 😅 your fun video’s have definitely got me to laugh many a time. From what I also got from your video I will say it back to you “you deserve to be happy and loved” ❤

Watching this was like watching my life. Every single thing. I pushed people away or tried to be who they wanted me to be. I didnt do so many things for fear of failure or rejection. Thank you. For both putting this into words and sharing your journey and experience with me. Its really nice to feel seen in the way that you make me feel seen.

Thank you for being vulnerable it’s what allows us to be human and the only way that empathy can be shared. You are amazing and you are loved. You are worthy of all appreciation. You deserve the world so keep striving to conquer it.

You are enough as you are. Always. Listening to you helps me remember I’m not alone with my struggles. Thanks for your honesty.

New to this channel. You are such an amazing man, and a major inspiration. You deserve the best and more. You really do. Going on previous comments, you have a lot of people who think the same, and support you in the moments when you feel that darkness will eat you whole. Being so honest and vulnerable is so hard to be, and I truly respect you for it.

I just want to give you a really big hug. ♥️

Hello Stuart! I just recently came across your channel. You have brightened my day many times over! Keep doing what you are doing. Be true to yourself and the rest of it will fall into place. I have no idea what you have been through, or are going through, but this really tugged at my heart. I hope you enjoy the small things in life! A big hug to you and I wish you all the best!

Happy Birthday! Definitely dress up for the Rocky Horror Show! As far as feeling undeserving, I was much the same growing up. I was doing better, but struggling with abandonment trauma again brought up those feelings again. We’re all working on healing in our own ways, at our own pace. And do whatever you need to, to be at peace! I hope each year is a little better for you 😄💛

This was such a breather for me. Recently I had a deep conversation with a friend and for the first time ever I opened myself to all the unhealed and scary parts of me. Though it was really tough to explain where everything might came from and trying to verbalize it all. At some point I kinda realized that I've been growing and gaining experience, that I should forgive everything (all in all) and that I shouldn't be afraid to go back to how I was.

I am so proud of you for doing this video. So much to unpack there. Mostly, this video brought so many tears to my eyes. It breaks my heart to see the pain you go through, and it is very similar if not the same to the conflicts in my own head. To have external pain scar us so, that we add to those scars. To only feel validated for what we put in the world not for who we are. To work so hard to heal everyday. You are doing amazingly. Thank you, again and again. Every time you share your stories myself and many others feel seen. Lastly, thank you for always putting a smile on my face, and a positive thought in my head. Xoxoxo.

I totally get the birthday thing. I’ve felt the same ever since I was a little boy. I’m an older grown man now, and mostly still feel the same, but birthdays are less of a deal when you get older, so that made it a bit easier. I hope you had a good day. Thank you for being you and for helping me deal with some of my own mental health issues. Every time I see one of your videos, you make my heart smile and I feel better …..even if for only a while.

Thank you for sharing. That resonated so much with me, wasn’t expecting it. Kind of a gut punch tbh. Healing is a long and tough journey. By just being yourself you have a positive impact on peoples lives 💚 be gentle with yourself, and when you need a reminder of your worthiness there are plenty of people here to help 🙂

As someone who feels and felt the same way for a long time, especially when I was younger, thank you for making this 💚

I wish I could hug that pain away, but I'm afraid that's up to you. You'll have to keep working on yourself. I'll leave you with one of my favourite quotes: "You can't shy away from your greatness just because you are afraid you are not great enough [...] I can't stop you from failing but I can promise to make it safe if you do" Just know I'm extremely proud of you.🫂❤️

I, too, feel awkward about my birthday. I don't know if I have any advice for you., but I can say walking with you on your journey over the last year has truly inspired me to take up music again and post my own videos. Thank you Stuart, and enjoy your day.

We celebrate your birthday because we’re GLAD you’re here. We’re glad you were born.

I love the honesty in this video. Aside from all the acting videos and humor. It's nice to see a different type of vlog. Even with all the pauses, it's raw and real. And I have felt the same way on my birthday as well, so I get the sentiment.

Stuart, you are amazing, lovely and special! You DO deserve to celebrate your birthday! It's the one day a year where everything gets to be about you! Please accept this love! We all adore you. You have a wonderful personality, and although I've never met you, I can tell, you're a lovely person! *hugs*

I can relate to your pain, I can't say I know how you feel because we are all different, but you are deserving of love as everyone is. It is good to talk, and to get your feelings out. You need to believe in yourself, and know you are deserving of much happiness. I am getting where you are coming from.... Please don't put yourself down. You are an inspiration person. X

Thank you for this video Stuart even if it should not have been so easy to make. Thank you for this honesty. I find myself very much in what you say and I think that is where the inspiration that I love in you lies. Showing what makes you an evolving human being. an overthinker who finds the paradoxes in oneself and brings them to light. to heal & grow. it really helps. thank you. ❤☀

A lot of the things you spoke about were so recognisable (especially the whole mental infinityloop of not deserving/humble/wait-am-I-an-egocentric-arse/not deserving etc). :) It's fantastic that you are a part of normalising talking about internal struggles. (btw on a semi-related note, I Loved seeing Translations!) Hello from a fellow Hufflepuff!

Thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts about this. I think as children we form very specific opinions about ourselves and they are very difficult to shake. So proud of you for so many reasons. Your growth and the journey you inspire others to bravely travel are evident. So glad you are here and becoming the person you want to be. 😊👏🥲🙌💛

You are such a beacon of goodness in this world. Thank you for being real and showing that your life isn’t perfect. It is so easy to get caught up in thinking that people we see online have their whole life figured out. That is why I listen to you. When talking about starting a podcast you asked why we listen to you. I watch all of your videos because they never fail to brighten my day. I also have struggled my whole life with pushing people away because if I never let them close they couldn’t hurt me. I totally get not enjoying your birthday as well. My Grandfather who I spent hours with every single day passed away 10 days before my birthday. It’s a challenge to be happy and enjoy “my special day” when I am crushed with grief. I never feel like I would have made him proud with what I have done and it is really hard. Thank you for this video and if you read this thank you for letting me share mine. As a twenty year old learning I am not alone lifts a huge weight off of me.

The beauty in growth is that you can heal and release your past. You have the power now and moving forward to know yourself..to understand YOU, instead of that wounded boy. It takes a lot of strength to do a video like this. You’ve come a long way Stuart. Well done. Sending you massive amounts of hugs and support.

You are very relatable and I hope you have a wonderful day, week and life 🥰✌🏻

You deserve the world. ♥️

Thank you for sharing. You’re perfect the way you are. Be true to yourself. Hoping your next Birthday is easier . So happy I found you. 🐾👣

You are such a wicked awesome person! You deserve so much!🎉🎉🎉 I very been struggling with the same since around the same age (2 narcissistic older sisters), I know your pain very well (50+yrs). You've helped me realize so much about myself. THANK YOU!😽😻

💋💋💋💋you deserve all the good that's coming to you!

Omg Stuart, you're incredible, I'm not just saying that to make you feel good (or bad) but you are, everything you said about your past and how you feel, it really hit home to me, I've always felt the same way, that I didn't deserve the love and affection that friends and family gave me, I'm 35 and it's taken me the last 2-3 years to realise that I do deserve love and affection, and you do too. I only came across your channel a couple of days ago and I can't stop watching, your Irish mammy videos always crack me up, (my mum was exactly the same) you've got great talent and I'm glad I came across your channel and subscribed because im excited for what your gonna do next! 🤗💕

Learn from the past, but don't let it haunt you. Now you are ❤❤❤❤❤

Hey, I had my last birthday party at the age of 8. I relate to this entirely. I hope with time it gets a bit better for you, as it did with me. Thank you and have a lovely day

I'm new to you and your channel but I've noticed often in your videos you seem to have a broken spirit, and I've felt for you... I want to thank you for finding the strength to talk about this when many others never would. You seem absolutely lovely and I want you to know you light up so many peoples days... I went through similar things, especcially the not deserving the good things I got and I feel for you but your so so strong and you've got this!!🥺

This is so interesting, very honest. Actually made me cry the raw honesty. You do you and never be afraid to🙂

You asked why we listen to you. There are so many reasons but I think the biggest one for me is that so much of what you say resonates with me. There is something comforting in knowing that others feel the same way you do. Even if at the same time my heart aches for you and everyone else here who go through this. Thank you for sharing with us. I hope your day was peaceful and silent

I wish I could just jump through the screen and give you a hug to make you feel better. Mental health is so important and so difficult at the same time. I totally understand what you are talking about.

Have the happiest birthday!

Awwws... you are such an inspiration and lovely person!💜

A lot of what I'm hearing is the imposter syndrome that comes along with ADHD, that unfortunately many people have, including myself, but remember even if you only have one person whether it's a friend, a therapist, or a family member. Just someone that you can talk to regularly that lets you reflect on yourself and help you work through your emotions, you'll start to feel a lot better, it's not going to fix everything, but it will make the days easier. I wish you nothing but love and peace ❤

The one person a day you should make smile is you. I have spent many years circling the slippery pit I slip into, most of my life really. I am now taking medication to help and continue with therapy. We need to ask for help getting out of the pit. Depression is a liar and tries to make us isolate us. Fight it, everyday, it is the biggest fight to get out of bed each day and carry on. You are worthy, you are important, and yes, you deserve it. Take care.

Hi Stuart, far too relatable: I've only very recently started "making peace" with my birthdays, because I used to see them as the day in which I acknowledged all of my failures of another year. I've just started following you on social media and listening to your podcast and I want to send you a big hug and a huge THANK YOU: you talk about feelings and struggles I'm even too familiar with and your words are healing

Thank you for your openness. I'm 10 years your senior and know that fear and inadequacy feeling well. So much of what you mentioned in this video I've felt. It's always good to know we're not alone. From my experience we really do get better with age, and time helps us heal 🥰 Keep looking after yourself, and thank you for the comedy, acting and silliness, you're such a delight 🙃

You my dear sir remind me of my little brother and I love you for it. I hope your day is lovely, also thank you for voicing what I’ve been feeling for some time it was quite cathartic. ❤

I just spent this entire video just yelling at the screen "Why are you the male Irish version of me!!!!" like I can empathise with so much of your story!!! With everything to do with the birthday celebration, feeling judged and hammered into a box, social awkwardness and anxiety. Being bullied at school, not wanting to invite people because "why bother" *sigh* I wish I had the confidence you have now to do tick-tock like you Stuart. You are officially my go to feel good creator right now.

Just someone being honest about their struggle make other people look inside and realize their own. Do the podcast! Happy birthday, Stuart! 🥳💝🍀🥂🎆🎈🎉🎊🌠