Go ahead and be offended umm humans are not suppose to worry about other people’s needs and wants but if we did we would DIE so sometimes you have to stand them
@@joemama4lifersss348 Uh, yeah we are supposed to be concerned with other people's needs and wants, we're social animals, not solitary animals. Infact, the only thing keeping us alive is caring about others.
Misery loves company, they just hate on people like us because we have the freedom to do whatever we want, when we want and how we want. They just want to drag us down with them.
Being a libertarian, I know that would lead to some sort of 1920s America-style eugenics. But it probably would benefit the children to never be, especially with some of the parents out there being so shit.
In theory I can understand the desire to require some basic competence to have kids, however, that's not a power I'm comfortable with our highly flawed government having.
Wow! That wasn't meant that serious! I'm not demanding anything like this, that would be terrible inhuman! Some people (some of them are actually parents), that are so stupid, childish and/or bad at parenting, that i wish they would never have (had) children. And there is a solution for extreme cases - child care.
Definition of Selfish: "lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure". Bringing children into this world is actually a selfish act. People have children because they want to. Children didn't ask to be born. Pay attention to the keywords "You Want". "You wanted" to leave a legacy, "you wanted" a family, "you wanted" someone to take care of you when you get older, "you wanted" experience the love and bonding with your own children...etc. It's all about YOU! It's what "you wanted". YOU wanted to have children despite all the suffering the child will endure. It's literally the epitome of selfishness. Raising children is a selfless act, but the decision to actually have children is a selfish one. That doesn't mean having children isn't a beautiful thing. It is! Let's just not pretend like it wasn't all about you.
Jacinda Peters you have my support. You have every right to decide if you want kids or not and it doesn't make you Selfish to not want any. If you don't want kids you don't have to have none if you don't want to.
*"Wanted"* As if breeders think that isn't selfish when it really is!, bringing a innocent soul into this messed up world is the most selfish thing ever!
The hype is it's beautiful, fun, and filled with lessons on responsibility. It definitely has its downsides, but if you can look past them, you'll see the enjoyment in it. I am perfectly fine with not wanting children, but I'm not okay with someone saying, "Mmmmm.... I'm pregnant. Might as well kill it now." That's my only problem is abortion. You could at least put the baby up for adoption.
I've always been for abortion, I don't intend to convince you, but I can at least give my opinion : In the case of an unwanted pregnancy (contraception failing mostly), you can't blame the parents, it's totally out of their control. Then, when the embryo is not even a few days old, I don't see the problem with abortion, it is just a bunch of cells which are not conscious at all. The question is, where do we put the frontier (between baby and embryo) ? I don't have an answer, but I know one thing, I don't think killing an embryo is worse than letting it live to be an orphan...
What do you mean? There are people who don't have kids but do like animals. Animals are easier to take care of than kids so it's not surprising that there are people who don't have kids but do have pets.
I think this whole discussion is kinda insane. The decision of having a child should only be a personal one, nothing anyone should be guilt-ed into with "but think of the society" bullshit.
@@terocool7625 Skall brought up the the issue of "infinite economic growth", which is _in part_, the reason why countries like sweden are mass importing foreigners. I'm also pretty sure he's against the idea of mass-unfettered immigration for the issues it causes and brings. Though that is presumptuous of me and only he can speak for himself. A part from the rat race, its a bit ironic you bring up zionism, considering this video is a reply to an orthodox Jew, Ben Shapiro, whoms renowned among people like you for being controlled opposition. Regardless, Skall didn't imply what you're suggesting, quite the opposite on the issue of Africa, NOR did he suggest that everyone (whites in particular) stop having children.
Wife and I are in our 50's, best decision not to have kids for us. I also knew at a young age that I didn't want kids. Plus, really, who in their right mind would bring a child into a failing society and environment!!
Because people in their right minds want people in future generations to change it? To improve it? And if you impart good values to your children they are likely to live out those values? It's a vote on the future of the world but you just abstained.
When I was 17, I knew a few people in their 40's that didn't have kid's. They had a great life. I knew then it was a no brainer. Never changed my mind to be childfree. That was 41 years ago. A lot of 50 something's are giving their 30 something kid's money and/or raising their grandkid's.
First off, whoever thinks it's essential to HAVE children is a fool. If you can barely sustain yourself, then you don't have the right to bring up a child, much less engage someone in a relationship with that kind of situation.
Why even bother having kids if you're gonna die, anyway? Why the fuck wouls someone even care after that? Might as well just enjoy life while it lasts.
People hate on the childfree and call them selfish because they're projecting their own insecurities. If the childfree are happy, that means everything we're taught about how children are a necessary part of life is wrong. We are in a transition phase where society is slowly realizing it's acceptable to opt out of being a parent. People like us are making the choice for ourselves before it's fully socially acceptable, which REALLY angers some people. They're angry that we do what makes us happy vs following the crowd like they do.
Exactly... They are low key bitter they have to be haggered raising handful unruly kids while childfree folk can do anything they want especially sleeping lol
Unfortunately, too many people out there don't use their brain and just tap into this "children are a part of life" bullcrap instead of realizing they actually have a choice.
What I find baffling is after accusing me of being selfish hey make comments like "I find it really rewarding", "it gives me meaning and purpose" and so on. Every comment is about them and how they feel, yet I'm the one who's selfish....
Fury255 wait, you called him delusional? To claim that life is a gift is high level delusion. Life is not a gift, it’s a burden and one that you can choose not to place after you set aside your selfish wants and desires and think about what you are doing. You’re gambling an unnecessary life in hopes that it brings YOU joy, never mind the new life you just placed into this soul crushing pile of shit.
The only reason why people are encouraged by society to have children is because not so long ago child mortality rates were through the roof, life expectancy was through the floor and we were at war more than when we were at peace. Now, thankfully, this isn't the reality so there ought to be no derision aimed at those not wanting kids. In this day and age having kids is a pleasure that can be chosen to be indulged in should one desire, not a compulsory necessity.
It's 2018 and there is still prejudice against M-F couples living their lives without children. It seems that gay couples can do that lifestyle just fine, but straight couples ? NO WAY !! Lots of people will RESENT it. People with children want you to suffer and risk divorce, like every other couple that has children. It is one of the last great social prejudices remaining today. It is just insane.
You are absolutely right about that. My husband and I are childfree by chance, not by choice. I resent people coming right out and asking me if I have children. Then when I say no, I get very surprised looks, etc. And I will also tell you that because of the type of career that I have, I am privy to a lot of private things people will tell me and many parents are miserable. They tell me because I am a safe person to tell. But here's what else I have also been privy to and that is that most parents enjoy their children once their children are grown and particularly once their children marry and have children of their own. They love being grandparents, as long as they are not in the role of raising them because that changes the dynamics considerably. It's like parenting all over again. But true grandparents get to love and spoil their grandkids without worrying about how they'll turn out, etc. because it's ok for grandparents to spoil kids; but parents cannot because they will raise brats. I also don't know anyone who has gone to their deathbed saying they were glad they were childfree or that they wish they'd never had children. Nope. Never heard that but not saying it doesn't exist. I just haven't heard it. It's just that when you're in the midst of raising children, it's *HARD* but it gets rewarding after they're grown and moved out, are successful, and self-supporting...provided they're not on drugs or in prison.
How many people have you been with whilst on their death bed? Why would someone who has got to the end of their life even worry about regretting not having kids? Maybe the people who could not have children due to being infertile but it is very unlikely a person who chose to be childfree is going to spend their last moments on earth regretting not having kids. They would be cherishing the good times, not worrying about non existent children.
The Horned King tbh my internet friend there are tons of books out there how to be a parent and also u can ask for advice on people and have no fear u will never raise a child alone u have ur wife family members etc no fear there cheers btw just a thought i wanted to share
Yama Yami 1st of all u were the rude one and the sad thing is yoyr friend chose poorly for a wife the thing is u as a male when want a gf u dont need to searcg in the mentality of simply get a gf but a future mom that will bear ur child and help u usher him in the future and i never state or forced him to concieve a child i simply ecourged him dont be afraid there are people to help you in the long run and countless books about diff stuff etc also sorry to hear for ur friend he chose poorly and now that will haunt him such stuff must never be rushed ans be done in time and plz refrain from being an ass to me cheers m8
Yama Yami also u never rush a child untill u get a good healthy realtion ship with ur wife close family and alsl ar e ready mentaly and financaly its ez to stick it in and do the deed there ar e others things that needs to be put in account my sister took vitamines ans other stuff for 2 years to ensure a healthy baby now she is onher 7th month of labor and the baby is healthy af and growing big thank god for that this stuff cant be rushed and both partners must be ready mentaly for it again cheers no hate just stating and having an opinion exange friend also hope ur friend gets better
Well, no one ever really feels 100% prepared for a child. A lot of people after a birth or adoption feel like WTF HAVE I JUST DONE?! It's normal to be a little scared or uncertain. Doesn't make you a bad parent. There is tonnes of advice and classes out there. However, it is your decision 100% and at no point should you feel pressured into it. I've made the decision not to have children because I have a genetic condition that could put any children of mine in a wheelchair. I decided I didn't want to take the risk.
Stettafire tbh bro to me a bad parent is someone who rushes this sort fo stuff and doesnt want to learn and adapt ask other peoppe its ok and normal to be scared its what makes us human tho by no mean its what it should make u stop having kids thx for typing ur opiniom i repsect it and agree fully and sorry to hear about ur conditiom god bless u mate and cheers
Frankly I see people who choose not to have children as the responsible ones... our planet is dangerously overpopulated already - the human race is still exploding too rapidly, especially when one considers there is only enough readily-accessible fresh water for about 12 billion people.. which we will easily hit within 100 years.. after 12 billion fresh water becomes very scarce and poor nations will have massive die-offs. I'm 40 now and decided around age 30 I never want to have children - both because I feel no desire to be a parent and because I have to ask "Why?" .. The world around me is so fucking crowded already the last thing I want to do (or have others do) is contribute to the goddamn problem.
Being selfish, to the best of my understanding, is to put your own needs over those of other people. I do not have children, so they have no needs because they don't exist, ergo, i cannot by definition be selfish, at least not in that specific regard.
The hell kinds of drugs would you need to be taking to think being child free is selfish?! The level of idiocy and bottomfeeding IQ needed for the mental arithmetic it would take, is astonishing. But then again, this is why I would rather not leave my home: most people are unfathomably unintelligent.
I like to take a more cynical viewpoint, that the rich who want to stay in power pay people to spew out stupid shit as propaganda to people so they are occupied with wondering how stupid people can be instead of seeing the real problem, which is of course the rich having enough power to do that in the first place.
The drugs where you haven't decided that western civilization is evil and you want to give up by being childless and working to support foreigners replacing you.
It’s a part of the immigration debate. ‘We need mass immigration to compensate for low birth rates’ + ‘whoops turns out those immigrants aren’t assimilating’ = ‘You’re selfish for not having children because it means the native population will become a minority.’
Except there can be selfish reasons and motives for having kids OR being child free. Its not a simple dichotomy inside of a inconsequential vacuum. We live in this thing called reality where things get chaotic and complicated. +darkblood626 that ties into the notion of continuous (infinite) economic growth and expansion. At least to Wigs with power and wealth, they desire cheap excess labor willing to undercut one another, and to play upon their prejudices and fears.
My parents told me I was selfish for not wanting kids, because they wanted grandkids (never mind that I have lots of siblings who have made me an uncle many times over). They wanted me to radically change my own life by doing something I knew I didn't want to do, so they could have something they wanted ... and yet, I was the selfish one. If you want grandkids, adopt them and raise them yourself. Oh, you don't want the responsibility of raising kids again? You want someone else to do that, so you can just visit when it's convenient for you? And yet I'm the selfish one.
"Don't underestimate my power" - A single child I think people who have such dedication to their stance won't watch videos of an argument against them.
overpopulation is an issue. theres children in need of adoption. nothing wrong with not having a kid, but there is something wrong with having a kid and not bring able to provide.
For much of recorded history, billions of people have been forced by empires and religions and social pressure to have children, to the point of poverty, hunger, having no legal rights of their own on the matter, and repeated risk of death. Those sexually enslaved people are called "women." Worldwide statistics have shown that when women have the right to choose their own life and control their own resources and destiny, they only have 0 to 2 kids each and the population level heads back into balance with the environment.
@@animistchannel2983 You're right, but that wasn't (or, more realistically, isn't) done with any justification like that 'child free is selfish' bs, it's done because people are sexist arseholes. In today's somewhat more enlightened days (in some parts of the world, at least) forcing someone to have kids with social pressure is absurd. And what kind of moron in a modern society cares about whether or not someone else has kids anyway? It's quite literally none of their fucking business.
Yah, it's good to see the spread of human rights and enlightenment. I was just inclined to mention it because of how far there still is to go in so many places. I go back and forth between hope and impatience, trying not to let myself get complacent with the margin of progress so far. I've got some of that "eternal guardian" thing going on, with the next Dark Ages potentially just one fundamentalist religious movement away.
+Druu Dru Agreed. Thankfully nobody has any legal authority to force anyone to have children in 2018. But, as animist channel points out, that has not always been that way at all places & times in history.
Ok, so my fiance and I dont want kids. We dont want the responsibility. We want to afford nicer things, travel the world, and retire early. We want to put ourselves first. Is that selfish? Kind of sounds like it. Do we care? Absolutely not.
39 now won't change my mind as well 😊 happy to be child free and I really wish people around me understand it. Unfortunately a lot of people questions about my choice and hate to keep explaining or having to explain.
I made the choice to not have a child, or even get married, at a young age and I'm happy with my decision. I'd be a bad father and a husband and I know that. I hate young children and can't tolerate them.
This issue again, commented last time and I'll comment again. You guys do you Skall, having a child takes up alot of your time and finances. I love my daugther above all, but its not for everyone. Personal struggles with anxiety and whatnot can hamper both yours and the childs well being. I know quite a few who have decided against getting children due to various personal issues, even though they would make great parents. Demanding that others should get children is selfish, not deciding not to have them. Keep up your awesome work
Aldo Polo There is one. Deciding to have a baby without understanding/caring about the level of investment (both temporal, emotional and financial) raising the resultant child requires. Caused a few arguments between my wife and I, and I was just holding off till we were more established. Choosing not to have a kid selfish, maybe. It depends on the actual reasons they have for it, and even if the reasons are selfish there is a fair chance the resultant child from such a forced coupling (if they don't want to do it and are required or coerced into it then it is forced) would have been better off not born. Skall isn't selfish in this.
@@corwinhyatt519 well you are right I was talking about a racional and calm decision, a one without being forced as couple to have a child, and certaintly the situation you describe is the reason why my country is full of children that are either kids without love or spoiled brats; good observation on your part bro And also, yes Skall is not selfish at all :D cheers
The thing is everything we do is selfish, and not having kids is selfish in the same way as not eating something because you're on a diet, but have kids is more like want clones of yourself, but less selfish, its just a choice
It's a myth that "once you have children you become less selfish." Having children only amplifies what you already are. If you're a selfish person before having children, you will become even more so (hence the folks who take up an entire aisle in a store or sidewalk with their strollers, oblivious that there are other people around). You might take care of your children's needs but there are many people who do this because they see it as an "investment" of sorts (e.g. "my children will be there for me when I get old", etc.). VERY few people have children because they want to give back to the world; to raise good children who grow into good adults and bring good into the world. In fact, I've never heard one person say that as a reason they had children. My brother is a perfect example of someone who became more self-absorbed once he had a child. He started calling the family less and less, even as our father is very elderly (one could argue that he is setting an example to his now teenage child that 'this is what you do when you become a father; you neglect your family of origin'.). Prior to having a child, he was much more attentive and thoughtful. He is not any longer. In my humble opinion, having a child has not made him a better person. He has become very thoughtless and selfish but methinks he had a tendency to be that way prior to having a child but it just became more pronounced when he became a father. Anyway, I won't try to change anyone's mind about having children. I think children are wonderful. But I don't think choosing parenthood or choosing not to be a parent is going to automatically make someone a better person.
They use one or both of two arguments (evolution and creationism) to browbeat people into having kids: "Don't you know? God said "go forth a multiply" and you MUST OBEY or you are helping out Satan!!!" According to lots of modern Americans, Christian morals apparently demand that you have kids, despite the long history of the church encouraging celibacy. (Obviously, even if you aren't Christian, they still demand you multiply). Or the other argument; "White people will be displaced by brown people who have more kids, and that's BAD because natural selection says whoever has more kids wins. We can't let the brown people win!!! They're brown, and stuff..." The same people who demand you obey their literalist interpretation of Genesis turn around and use Social Darwinism to try and convince you that white people will go extinct if you don't have kids. I think they should go read Malthus, and really consider the ramifications of adding yet more people to the human population.
Black Spruce Early Christianity was antinatalist; Judaism is the polar opposite. What better evidence is there than the fact that the Jews still exist as a people?
It doesn't. I left a message about that. It only amplifies what you already are. If you're selfish prior to having kids, having kids will make you even more selfish. For example, you might take care of the child's needs but it will likely be for very selfish reasons (e.g. wanting to have them there to care for *you* in old age).
I was not being selfish when I decided I'll go child-free. Why? Because I know I wouldn't be a good father. I don't want to permanently traumatize a kid because I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, and because I don't have the patience to deal with a tiny human. I don't want to turn into my father. Because my father, is not good at being one.
When they say they want the birth rate to go up, they mean they want people like them to breed more for the cause. They definitely don't want people who are the wrong colour, religion, or ideology making more kids. If your DNA is the only way to contribute to society, you need to rethink a few things about your life.
Being a pretty generic, white, handsome guy. I think I can agree with this.. I've worked around an elderly home and hear it alot.. "Oh. do you've children?" and i take it as a joke.. I'm only 25, for god's sake.. But when I hear about my coworkers, (a guy from Africa, another from Pakistan, a couple girls, both from Egypt) and I *never* hear good stories about when they talk about their own children. mind you, i know it's an eldery home, with frustrated and depressed old folks. but still
Julian Rossi I found the self-righteousness of this comment to be pretty funny tbh. Your basically bragging about turning yourself into an evolutionary dead end. Thanks for voluntarily striking your DNA from the gene pool so that fewer future people are genetically predisposed to have similar traits to you, I guess. Also, great strawman of people who care about the continuation of their Genetics, Family, Ethnicity, etc as "only contributing to society via DNA" as if having/wanting kids automatically stops you from being an individual that's capable of doing anything else. I'm sure that's a totally honest argument and not just a gross misrepresentation of people you disagree with that you use to make yourself feel better.
I intend to be single and not have any kids my entire life. Most of my future plans and ambitions have no chance of success if my time is tied up by someone else. If someone asks me "What if you can't take care of yourself when you're old?" I'll say "There's a perfectly good overpass right down the road" LOL.
To reproduce is one of the basic animal instincts and some smarter people can try to think about it rationally and decide accordingly to their skills and abilities.
Imagine shaming someone bc they don’t want throw up all over the place and waking up at 3am and change stinky diapers .if your not gonna help us raise them shut your mouth
I remember learning about this in one of my classes but essentially there's the idea of children as an investment that doesn't seem to be as big of a consideration in developed countries compared to in developing countries. One of the reasons people had so many children in the past was because they wanted to make sure that at least one of them survived long enough to be able to take care of them when they were old and frail.
This is a major factor both in the past and in less wealthy countries today. The fact is, in some countries, if you don't have kids to take care of you when you're old then no one will.
i compleatly agree with most of what you say here, there is definately no shortage of childeren who need homes (orphans/foster/adoption) there is NO obligation to have childeren, (or any risk of human extinction) and when you have genetic ilness, or the doctor says theres a high likely hood you offspring will be invallid, DONT, just cause your child can grin and make "happy" sounding gasping noises dosent mean they are happy or experiance a quality of life rant; it seems to me that theres alot of "absent parenting" going on these days, you cant have kids, make your family help take care of them, then proceed with a "i just came home from work, go play" attitude kids need alot of sturcture early on, so they learn and understand very basic things, like "no" dosent mean "ask someone else" or that people need "space" and "time away from others" and other such things they only pick up on when they have a high degree of "fruitfull" interaction do you remember you teacher sitting next to you 1v1 and helping you learn to read, and sound out the words, and understand whats hapening in the story? no?!, thats cause they didnt (if they did then thier super special) your parents did, cause thats what a parents job is, to teach thier kids the basic functionality for life ive seen 3yr olds who are nearly self-suficient, and 8yr olds who need reminders (and help) to wipe thier butt, "having kids" dont make you a "parent", (a parent properly raises childern not just produces them) "visiting" dosent mean they get to take care of your kids for the time, (you come over to "say hi" and maybe play, not to have others play parent to your childern) end rant im mostly the oposite, i like kids, i like the idea of kids, even as young as 5 i knew i wanted to have at least 1 child, and had a "sense" that i would be a great parent, however, as life turns out, school locked me in a literal closet for 13 years, i had very little social interaction, and now im a recluse with a fear of leaving the house, needless to say im not going to be finding myself with spouse or in any economic shape to have any child, genetic or not, anytime in the forseeable future that and my personal beliefs, im repulsed by the concept of capitolism, the work i do get, i do for "free" (seems people dont believe in reciprocity though) no income + no time = no "life"
It's a death sentence for a new conscious entity. It's an unknown and unpredictable amount of unnecessary suffering for said entity. Having a child is probably one of the most evil things you can do.
In biology class we talked about two islands where scientists put equal numbers of reindeer. The islands look pretty much the same except for one island having high cliffs at the coast, while the other one was completely flat. The only food source for the reindeer were slow-growing lichen. On the island with the cliffs the population was low but stable, as in winter it was regulated by reindeer falling down the cliffs in snowstorms. On the flat island the population skyrocketed only for the reindeer to suddenly go extinct on the island. The extremely high numbers of reindeer had eaten all the food on the island faster than it could grow. I fear that the flat island is what is going to happen if we keep reproducing in such absurdly high numbers, we will simply run out of resources and that was it. You might say "but we're not going to go instinct without oil!", but think about what will happen if we run out of recourses like oil or, most importantly, clean water. That would lead to a war that would be a bloodbath like nothing before. The whole world would fall into chaos. Is this what we want? No. So stop fricken denying overpopulation, random people who are the reason for videos like this! (I am in no way saying that people who want to have children are bad people, we of course still need some people to reproduce, what I'm saying is don't think that you need to all people to reproduce for the survival of our species, so stop calling people like Skall selfish) That turned out to be way longer than I expected, I'm sorry for my pessimism and my habit of writing endlessly long RU-vid comments.
Buzzfeed is adamantly pronatal. They covered Ned's son's birth. Their videos about "childfree" topics are mostly silly and cutesy videos that do not explore childfree stances as seriously as they covered Ned's family goals and relationships of the Try Guys.
I'm getting married in two months, so this topic has come up a lot lately. People don't seem to understand that we don't want kids. My fiancé's mom abandoned him as a baby, why on Earth would he of all people bring an unwanted child into this world? He knows what it's like to have a parent regret his existence. So no, judgmental family members, we will not procreate to appease your desires to have grandchildren. It's their expectations of us that are truly selfish.
ppl who are unsure of their choice should watch Toddlers and Tiaras. That'll answer your choice real quick. I always thought having a kid was selfish because parents make them to live through them, cause their own childhoods were so shit. How is it not selfish to want a thing that might not want you as a parent?
8:33 Now that is actually being selfish and immoral. Create a life without any responsibility. It is far responsible to not have children at the first place.
yeah same. i am 24 and for as long as i remember i have never wanted children and i can barely stand my sisters little kids when they are here. also i don't want anyone else to have the slight chance of getting my problems.
I wish my mom had thought better before having me. She didn’t thought about it she just wanted a baby so she could have her own living doll ( yeah, she literally said that to me). I suffered so much in my life and I still suffer with a lot of mental health issues. Now she always says to me : PLEASE DONT HAVE KIDS!” and I won’t have. I don’t want to put another human being to suffer in this world.
My girlfriend recently told me that she is struggling to want children. I’ve been looking more into being child free and the benefits of it and I’m really encouraged by videos like these. Thank you!
I can relate to her struggle. I told my husband recently because the topic got brought up about the future and if we should have a kid or not. It was really difficult because he said he felt ready for it if I was, but I'm not and have been struggling to even want it. I just don't feel the urge or desire to be a mom and I'm terrified of pregnancy and birth and just don't feel like I'd be a good enough parent because of my mental health issues. It made me feel bad for him because I know he'd probably be a wonderful attentive father, unlike mine who barely acknowledges his 14 kids existence. But he's also not pushing it and reassured me that he's perfectly happy with just me in his life and gave me a big hug. He's always been on the fence about it and it hasn't been one of his goals to have a kid. Only if I wanted it so he gave the decision to me since I'd be the one who would have to carry the child for nine months and give birth. Something he doesn't want to have to put me through. I love him so much I can't even put it in words. 🥺❤️
Considering so many people my age (mid 20's) is going crazy having multiple kids and getting married, it has made me considerably care less about ever dealing with a child. Plus I suffer from severe anxiety and depression so I doubt I could ever find a woman to deal with me anyways.
To understand the phenomenon further, let's look at the reasons why people have children. These are the answers received from all the parents I know personally. * some feel lonely * some think they are smart and need to pass on those qualities * some think about the time they will get old and helpless * some like to take care of others and shape their personalities * some want to blend in so the society doesn't judge them harshly * some have to do lists and they only need to check kids, not necessarily with love or real interest * some prefer to invest in their kids' life because they see themselves as lost causes, e.g they don't have a PhD but always wanted recognition so they will receive it through their children * some consider themselves beautiful and they want to have a beautiful child because their partner is handsome * some want kids earlier in life because they want a person to trust * some want kids because they want to teach others how to live * some want to prove to society how generous they are and they consider themselves superior for raising children, in the end they are doing it to prove something to others, rarely to themselves, so it's a recognition issue *some people want to be the parents they never had (superior attitude again, I'm better than my parents and I will show them how to do it) * some people are born with the skills and they really love kids, these are the ideal parents
There are more ways to contribute to society then breeding. There's art science and yes making exceptional RU-vid videos. Personally I think YOU have found one of your ways to contribute. Keep up the great work and to hell with what others think.
The quality of the person matters as well. If people have children because they want to contribute to society but raise the children poorly and the children turn out terrible or at the very least useless than that is not a contribution to society. Actually it would be better if those people were never born and those immature people to never have become parents.
Yes, western countries have a negative fertility rate as where countries in say the 3rd world (mostly the middle east) have a higher birth rate then what's needed for replacement levels...and? Fact is in western society these days even finding some to have a healthy relationship with is like finding a needle in a hay stack (actually even that would be easier as all you would need is a strong magnet). Then trusting that relationship is strong enough to withstand what it takes to properly raise a child? If the divorce rates, rampet false accusations ect are anything to go by...yeah. Then there is the fact that family child services offices are staffed by fucking psychopaths that are just itching to rip families apart. Well you can understand why a man or even a healthy couple would take a step back and say "Yeah I don't think that's a good idea". The choice as far as I can see to the people that make it, would be one of practicality. Not being selfish.
you're right, and it always baffles me when people ask me why I don't have any yet, nevermind knowing if im even in a relationship or married, or whats going on financially or what sort of person I amm it's even more interesting how people think it's even a choice, sometimes it's not, n it just simply does not happen within the timeframe you have lining up a suitable partner, financial stability, being able to have time to raise the child n not just work n leave it with someone, it seems it would be a miracle if you got 3 or 4 or those things to coincide at the same time, or maybe it's just me.
Before I watch video. How would being childfree even be selfish? We live in an over populated world as it is. Wouldn't wanting and having kids (reproducing, not adopting) be more selfish?
Learning and education is the exact reason why humankind has gotten so far. Our intellegence surpasses evolution in speed and effectiveness. An animal could eat poisonous plants for thousands of years until one manages to pass on a resistance A single human can die to the same plant and survivors would avoid it, saving needless deaths and immidately working.
Interesting how adopting a puppy or kitten is a lot of work and its exhausting...but not a baby? And also, I hate constantly being told I'll change my mind or that everyone else is doing it. I have been called selfish for it too. I'm sick of it. I can't stand kids, I already work with kids and I hate it. Y am I gonna torture myself with coming back home to one? Finally, disliking kids isn't a crime. Its equivalent to not liking fruits, vegetables or a specific activity. Same thing. Its a choice, I know I'd make a shitty mom. However, I didn't choose to dislike kids. It just is...like the way I love chocolate, nobody questions that. How can I change my mind about something I already know I don't like? Illogical. I'm afraid of heights....I didn't choose that and I'm not changing my mind about that either.
I agree over population is real. Eventually we are gonna be living on top of each other... Literally, instead building across the land we be building vertical so save room. Not to mention resources are gonna be so much more difficult to get. Mind blowing fact: if 90% of the world population died out. We still be more populated then back in 16th or 17th century
Only thing about adoption is that the government makes it incredibly difficult and expensive, and will analyze every aspect of your life before allowing it. Meanwhile they don't give a shit who pops out however many kids they want.
As a childfree woman it’s great to hear a childfree mans pov. Which is basicly the same opinion as mine. So great to hear it back like an echo. Makes me feel good about my decision. A lot of people give me shit for it.
You, Skall., have earned much more of my respect. Antinatalism is the way to go (though that term may not fully apply to you, Skall.); I had my vasectomy just 2 days ago.
I'm 42 years old,been married once (and divorced),and have never had kids. My sister is a year older than me,and she's never had kids either. It's never been an issue w/ our parents;matter of fact,they've told us in the past that they're glad neither of us ever had kids. For me it's a number of personal reasons: I never wanted to have kids w/ ANY of my partners,because I didn't think they would make good mothers. Another reason is what you said in your video,I think I would make a terrible parent. Honestly,I applaud anyone's decision not to have kids,for whatever reason they might have,I don't think that is selfish in the least.
Perhaps a better way to contribute to society would be through volunteer work, like at a homeless shelter or a daycare. Why not care for those who are already alive, than pump out more people who will, inevitably, have needs one day. That would only add to the strain.
Rewatched this many months after I first watched it (nine months, ironically), and this totally resonates with me, even more than it did when I first watched it. When I came out to my mom as being asexual, she said I would change my mind if I found the right guy. That’s just... no. I know that I don’t want some dude to stick his parts in me, just like Skall knows he’d never get kids and just like (hopefully) everyone here knows they’d never eat human flesh. I’d also never adopt a kid or use some more ... clean method of procreation, as I also know I’d be a horrible parent and I just don’t see why this should be (according to many) my life goal. I decide what makes me happy and what my goals in life are. If I want to contribute something else to society than some genes for an inner clock that makes me be wide awake until 2 am no matter what I try to bend it to societies norms, then they should let me do that. Having a brain child, some work of art or technology I created, some masterpiece that has a lasting positive impact on society would be a way better contribution to society and would actually make me happy, unlike being forced by societies pressure to do the nasty and spend an unmeasurable amount of time and emotional resources on something I never really was the right person to do. Why do people find it so offensive when someone is different? Is it some reflex reaction to avoid questioning your life choices? Does the mere presence of someone who doesn’t want to live like they do scratch their ego?! This has gotten longer and more of an angry rant than I intended it to be, sorry for that. I just wanted to say that I enjoyed this video and that I can really identify with what Skall said. Thank you, Skall.
I know it's easier said than done, but on issues like that it's best to disregard people who have a problem with the way you are. Being open and honest about yourself whenever it matters (i.e. potentially entering a platonic relationship in your case) but not bothering with those who refuse to understand you or at least tolerate what they can't understand. Being asexual is neither something you chose nor something you can change, and if people judge you for it, well... fuck 'em. Not literally, obviously. :)
The notion that it's selfish is predicated on the idea that you have a moral obligation to society to supply it with more children. Which is not so, legally or otherwise.
I myself like kids fine, but haven't wanted children since I was about sixteen, as i'm now twenty two I think it going to stick for life. My bloodline is fine, one of my sisters has a kid and two of my cousins have kids (one I don't think understands how birth control works.). My other sister however frequently badgers me because (she and my first are not related) I'm her only sibling and she wants nieces and nephews. Never mind being an aunt is a hell of a lot easier than being a dad. I will say I find the whole thing of finding all kids gross a little extreme Skall. Are there kids who are annoying gross idiotic brats? Yes, and a lot of adults act the same way. Idiots and PITA's come in all sizes. And smart charming people do as well.
"I will say I find the whole thing of finding all kids gross a little extreme Skall. Are there kids who are annoying gross idiotic brats? Yes, and a lot of adults act the same way. Idiots and PITA's come in all sizes. And smart charming people do as well." INDEED ! I had to scroll down a bit to find that, but it was worth it, I totally agree
@Martim Xavier It was also horrible having children in the past, but people didn't have the access to birth control that they do now. Also, in ages gone by, women really had no choice if they wanted to survive. Now times have changed. I am so thankful and grateful to have been born in an Era and a country where I have a choice. I chose not to have kids, which has made my life so much easier and better. I learned from my mother how stressful and hard life is with children. My older sister and I are both childfree.
I choice at the age of 12 years old didn't want kids, 24 years later I still feel the same way. When I'm around kids or baby I don't feel anything or have interest in them. To be honest, I have no patience for kids when misbehave, I have for people, animals. So expensive to raise and like my sleep too Have other reasons but, it's too long could be here all day. Later on play get my tubes get tied. Parenthood is not everyone it's not a must.
Hey, 25 yo french guy here. I feel exactly the same as you, for the exact same reasons. My girlfriend was neutral on the matter when i met her, but now she shares my point of view on parenting and having children. Also one thing you didn't address that adds to the problem is the fact that not everyone wants to give up freedom, time and energy for a child, and it's incredibly demanding on that. I don't have enough time to do all i want to do in one day, without having anyone to feed/take care of/educate/etc, i cannot imagine how it would be if i had. But the main thing is... i (and you apparently) simply DONT WANT to have a child. And this should be enough reasons...
24 yo biologist and environmental science grad student here. Got my vasectomy this month and have wanted to do so for more than 10 years. I honestly think that the selfish thing is to have kids, thus putting more pressure on the environment AND condemning a person to suffer the dreadful consequences of climate change (not to mention the worldwide rise of totalitarism)
Whenever people talk about this, my only thought is that, so long as the person in question is SURE, then there is no problem. Yes there are those who thinks that you can't live without ever having a kid, but I don't necessarily think so. I think there's a lot to gain for those who want to have a kid, but it's nothing to be ashamed of if you don't want to. It's an enormous responsibility, and not everyone wants that. And I realise that last bit can come off as condescending, as if I think people who choose not to have kids aren't responsible, please don't think that. It was not meant as such.
Here's the shitty thing about countries that are having massive birth rate increases: They are usually 3rd world countries where people are getting killed by diseases, unsafe work conditions and crime in general on a regular basis, so it kinda compensates, but not as much in some areas.
