Tony is right! My grandfather told me an empty wagon makes a lot of noise..meaning people that are loud and boisterous are empty. My grandfather was a quiet man, but when he speaks everyone paid attention to him. I learned my calm, quiet demeanor from him. All that loud, acting crazy, flaunting mess, they just want attention and try to intimidate people.
Partly true. A wagon Definitely is a bumpy ride when the trey is empty However..a lot of people get very excited and talk on and on when they are nervous Doesn’t mean that person lacks intelligence or good character Just that they have a lot of fear And probably need a natural nerve tonic to build and steady the nervous system
A guilty conscious will make a Man extremely controlling as well. He doesn’t want his actions to be delivered back onto him and truly have to reap what he sows. So he tries to control everything around him in hopes that he can prevent that from happening.
You're dealing with a boy in the body of a man. You're dealing with unresolved childhood issues. An insecure man is the most dangerous being on the Earth. This definitely explains a lot of the gun violence we are seeing.
I was just coaching a client on this very topic! Ladies please pay attention to what he is saying it is a very real thing. Insecurity is the reason people seek to be in control. Know your value and set your standards and remove yourself from toxic relationships!
Do not like to be around a person who is controlling, makes me move on. They need to go to a therapist that is going to be real with them and not sugar coat their sessions, like all they have to work on is making sure they keep up with their hygiene . How flaked is that?? 😀 Had a run in with a person like this and and learned a valuable lesson!!! Do not wanted nor need it in my life🙂
As a man and a veteran I felt that control was necessary for my own life, but it often bled into my relationships, romantically and with my sons. I've now come to realize that in order to have a successful relationship I have to relinquish that power and work alongside my partner/significant other. We both are in control!
Wow, that was a harsh & unnecessary reply. He clearly stated how he "REALIZED" (Past Tense) that he can relinquish the control & both he & his partner R both N control. He stated how THAT behavior bled N2 his other relationships & he is doing better... Ur reply implies that he is an obnoxious idiot who's N denial about being N control... U need 2 stop being so CRITICAL of ppl who make the required changes needed N order 2 have healthy interactions... U Obviously have Issues Urself...💯🎯 Read & "Understand" B4 U respond
I'm not dealing with an insecure man ever again. The last one woke me up for sure! When they do not deal with their pain and insecurities, they could care less about who you are and what you need. They will destroy you because they have not healed and dealt with their demons. I learned this firsthand.
“Recognize crazy early”! -Tony Gaskins. Rip to the black detective woman in Montgomery al who lost here life due to her boyfriend killing her! This is serious
How TRUE. Confidence & leadership is CALM, SMOOTH & STEADY. IT DOESN'T NEED TO PROVE ANYTHING....IT ALREADY KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE. THEY DON'T NEED TO CONVINCE THEMSELVES OR ANYONE ELSE WHAT THEY ARE!!
What I benefited; 1. A man and his emotional history is important for the present moment and his role in the relationship. 2. When he confides in You, know that the issues you'll be dealing with stem from that pain point. 3. Make sure he's getting treatment for that.
Indeed. If you’re gentle/loving with the way you lead your household as a husband, it makes it so easy for the wife to submit. You cannot be controlling and overly aggressive and expect that woman not to eventually resent you. Lead with love. It works when that woman really loves you.
Heres a reality check dude. You still dont really understand if you are writing terms such as "submit" and "lead." No woman in their right mind wants to submit to you, and no woman actually wants you to lead her. Dang. Why is equality so hard to grasp. Just be yourself and accept we were all created equal in this mighty Universe!
I recently left my ex narcissistic boyfriend who was extremely controlling. I needed to hear this because I stood my ground when he tried to control me, but slowly allowed myself to become his "victim" and almost didn't make it. I'm so glad you have these videos. Please keep doing God's work.
I have dated a guy with large private and he was very insecure and I have dated a guy small and had a lot of confidence. I also think it's a lot of how you were parented and loved.
OMG. You just made me realize his control issue. He wants control because of his 🐍 size and were just dating. He feels if I find someone bigger then I wont be with him. Because he has mentioned his size. Thanks
I thank God for delivering me from from a broken man. We were together for 3 1/2 years and for what I went through, it could have been so much worse. God protects babies and fools ; and since I'm too old to be anyone's baby, you know what's left.
This is so true... I'm 42 and Tony is helping me re think all of my foundational principles. I used to be so attracted to guys that lived in the gym... That I wouldn't look at anyone else... But I learned quickly that most guys that go hard like that are compensating because of the "small self esteem situation"....( MOST not ALL) Then I met some average, good looking nerd and baaaby.... Changed my whole thought process! Now as a single mom.. I'm just keeping my legs closed and trying to weed out the grown boys as quickly as possible so that I can eventually get married one more time. Thank you Tony for being dope! 🔥💚☀️💜✨💫
You are right! A man insecure who wants to control his wife in all the aspects of life, even what to talk, what to ask or not, don't love her, he don't see her devotion and qualities, will give her anytime silent treatment if she don't respect the training wich he is doing on her, and when he will have total control over her he will be borred of her, he does not respect her, if she leaves, he will replace her fast with another available to consolate him, he will play the victim blaming her, so finally his wife will be broken emotionaly and physicaly and her life will be ended earlier. Thank you for your comments, God bless you!
Mirela ... I have witnessed some married couples in church especially whose husbands,who will tell their wives who to talk to, how far apart they should be, what they feel they should wear etc. SMH When you have these weak grown boys housed in the body of a man, allowing him to go that far. It's just a recipe for diaster. No Man Should have that level of power.or control over his wife...let alone any female. Submitting does not mean control. Ladies know your value/worth. NEVER be afraid to lose a man (Husband or Not) or everything. A big mistake & complaint I hear women say is '' I don't wanna start over, or I hate starting over'' If he is controlling your choice is clothing & that doesn't bother u. Are you going to be comfortably enduring several more years of physical pain or possibly death. Before a man puts his hand on u, he will put his tongue on u, by the use of his words. Don't walk. RUN if you must!!!!
But God step in gave us a Exodus plan and I'm living proof you can escape and be transformed by Gods Good information and by the testimony of a changed man thanks Toney I don't spite the Journey now knowing the truth.
Omg!!! This is so truuuuuue!!!!! Man oh Man. Those quiet shy types are dangerous because they lack confidence in themselves. We build them up to devour us!!!!
@@sweetpea2839 I'm in control of what I do. Which means what ever someone else does to me, I control if I beat their ass or if I act calmly. Or if a married man wants to sleep with me, I can control if I do it or if I decide not to. So to a degree we are still have some control.
Tony, you hit it on the head today. My husband left me because I refused to let him tell me who can be my friends. Totally innocent. Very transparent. He created a scenario that convinced himself he couldn't trust me. He said I was putting others in front of him because I would not give up the friendships.
Thank You For Sharing 🙏 I Met A guy 6 Yrs Ago I Fell In Love With Him.Not Knowing This Person Was Narcissistic This Person Started Belittling Me Controlling Me Horribly Emotionally Abusing Me.The Worst Thing I Did Was Sharing My Fears With Him Was Anxiety And Being Alone He In Return Started Punishing Me With The Silent Treatment. Controlling Men Are Very Highly Abusive.
Insecure men and women are both dangerous Tony. I refuse to be around any man or woman that's not secure in themselves. By the way Thanks a lot for your videos too, they are very therapeutic.
What about a man would tries to manipulate you to control you? That mental control that felt almost like a little jealousy thrown in there to. Everytime I bought something or got something, he would start plotting to get one better. That was wasted time.
The girl that said that to you said that cuz SHE wanted YOU but knew she DIDN'T stand a chance with you so she put that on YOU to make HER feel BETTER about herself. Men do that dumb CRAP to women TOO!! Smh
Good Point...That was a blow to HER self-esteem that he probably didn't wanna get with her, so, like many others, insult the man and say he's gay because her lil feelings are hurt
Tony, just want to say thank you again. Your testimony of how you’ve changed into the man of God you are today is SO encouraging and brings hope to so many of us. God is raising up so many for His kingdom and I choose to be apart of what He’s doing in the earth. Never settling. Waiting for God’s ordained choice and continuing to be the woman God predestined me to be. Marriage is for His glory and Kingdom after all. Be blessed. 🙏🏽
Yeah my husband tried that a few times. He was shock that I was ready for every time he tried. 1. When we first got married he started arguing every day for no reason at all. He did this in front my family and always act like we were the best couple in front his family. I asked him what was his real problem and he could not tell me. So I never answered him when he started arguing. My dad tried to ask him what was wrong. I told my dad, do not worry about him just let him vent. He just feel less than a man that has to live in your house because he used to doing for himself and I wont let him do his illegal things to get us upon our feet. You know what I mean dad, the things mom used to let you do. I wont stand for it one moment of our life and he mad about it. My dad ran off so fast, because I shut him down quick. I waited until his family wanted to take a family trip to his moms house. His mom called and told me that she see I has the power and asked if she could she finally see her son. I told her, yes if I could come also. I did not ask her if they would treat me better when I get there or nothing, because the things they sent me through was entertaining to me. It shock them that I always win the arguments, by telling him lets go. I never argued back, I would just calmly tell them what their real problem is and walk away. So when we got there, we were having a great time and no one had said anything wrong to me. I waited until they all were laughing like they are the perfect family and started arguing with my husband and he looked at me like I was crazy because he had never seen me yell at all. He thought I was the coolest wife who will always except him arguing and never answer him. He thought he had a great life ahead, like I wanted to live a life where I let him go off whenever he wants and make excuses for why he acting that way. His mom started asking me what is wrong with me. No one could understand what the argument was really about. I told her, your son here has started an argument in my home at least once a week for the full year we have been married but every time he is around his family, he wants to act like we in a perfect marriage. I figured that he need to know how I feel when he makes me look bad in front my family, who is helping him, by letting them live in their house at no charge, until he gets on his feet. She tried to start arguing with me about messing up their perfect family time until my step father- in- law stepped in. He said, did you ever listen to him about what any of his arguments was about. I said yes, he was arguing about the soap powder we bought. My family is big and my mother used our soap powder all in one day to do all the laundry in the house, even ours. We pay no bills and do not pay for food, yet he used one full box of cereal all in one bowl so my siblings had no breakfast before they went to school one day. My dad fussed at me about what he did. He told me about all the boxes that were on top the fridge and I had to tell him they were empty. He argued with me about them being empty and why were they up there. I understand all of his arguments but he need to learn how to talk to me about the problem so I can fix them quietly. His step dad took him to the side and I can hear he saying, as they walked away, soap powder brah. My husband never argued in my parents house again after that. He started doing the laundry, because he realize my mom did not know how to do it right. She used soap powder until even the rinse still had soap suds in it. He started check all boxes of cereal on the fridge to make sure the ones that was empty were thrown away and he bought more to make sure they were full.
2. The second argument he started is when we moved to Germany. He argued with me about all the stamps I was using to send Xmas letters to all my family and friends. He said, no one will write back so why use the book of stamps he just bought. I told him, I know you may be right but at least I know not to do this again. I promise to never use any future stamps on anyone who does not write back. So I never used any stamps again. No one can ever know if their family and friends are real until they make the first move.
3. The third one was three years later when we came home and got our own apartment. I had just made his lunch to take with him for work and he took it and started yelling at me as he was walking out the door. I shut the door and pulled him back inside. I told him, I know you like to go off every now and then for no reason but this is not the right time. You will be put in jail for murder and I wont be here to say you did not do it. He looked at me shocked and asked me to explain that. I said, you starting a unless argument with me so everyone can hear you the man in here and you got the power will make the boys who be trying to get my attention when you not here, break in to rape and kill me and they will let you argue a few times and get others to verify that we always argue. They will wait until you do this shit one morning and pick the lock so it dont look like a break in, after I come home from jogging and come in to rape and kill me. When you get home from work to find my body, do you think they will let you get away with murder when you were the last one they heard going off on me? Why get put in jail all your life for something you never did, knowing that you will be their saying, I wish I never argued with her everyday for no reason. She was the best wife. You will except your faith and say to yourself, I deserve this. I said, now tell me a joke so we can laugh when you walk out this door. I will find space on my schedule for argument day and we will drive out to the coast and argue where no one knows us. I fixed his clothes, he told a joke, we laughed and gave goodbye kisses and he went to work. Look I remember every argument but the way I handle them all, drove him crazy. If he wanted someone weak and ignorant, he should have found someone else. I do not have time for childrens games.
Girlfriend,you have patience and an amazing mind, honestly, I wouldn’t and couldn’t handle all those dynamics. You need to write an advice column for people.
@@khem127 Men love to argue because that is the way you prove you love them if they can take you out of your element. We are older now so we laugh about the old days when we had an argument day on our calendar. We have children now so we do not want our children to think that is normal and to except that from their spouse. We laugh and tell them about our old arguments we had on our calendar and told them how we would tell each other how we looked arguing.
As someone who tries to deal with my insecurities, I want to have control of my own life, and everything effecting me. I don’t want to control anyone, I don’t desire to control women, they do what they want. I just don’t let people cross a line, or when someone’s pushing my line, i will push back and do everything I can to build a wall around that line. I’m down to verbally discuss stuff, just don’t force me into anything, I’ll double down to protect myself.
Tony I swear you are a crack-up LOL I just love it when you use whatever is on your desk for props OMG you are too much! Just purchased two of your books make it work and a woman's influence. I go back and forth reading the both of them 😀 absolutely enjoying them!
....if you play with a insecure man, you gon' get laid down, you gon' meet the Lord early...A insecure man is the, most, dangerous, thing, on, the, face, of, the, earth..." 😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
@@hillalex219 when nun of the girlfriends they've been with got pregnant but the gfs end up pregnant with the next bf.. that would mean the problem was with the man
This is so true... I recently had a guy I'd been dealing with for 2 years abruptly end things bc i dared to question him and his lie.... I ended up being right about him lying, but he was more pissed thag I dared to question him, but he'd regularly question ME... he straight told me he liked being in control and he told me without telling me he was insecure... I naively thought I could nurture him into the person I saw him as being, but that was mistake... he is who he is and only he can change that... thank you for your wise words
This is confirmation! When I was dealing with it and tried to call it out I was disrespectful and wasn’t allowing him to lead. I’m so glad I let it go! It’s not worth it at all!! Especially when they don’t want help!!
was with my ex for 37 years (34 married) he was very very insecure. He did all the bad things Tony described, always fought with other people, put his hands on them, cheated, lied, controlled, I couldn't talk to other men, I couldn't have girlfriends, Sex had to be a lot or he made the day miserable, it was a living hell. TG is a hero!
Thank you for you truth and honesty. I know their are a few good men left in the world. Me and my brother were bullied when we were younger. We were good kids and didn’t like to fight. I became violent and defensive for a long time. Thank God I am growing and healing.
Tony, I know someone like this who is not a gangster and has not come from poverty and came from a two parent household. The level of insecurity that this man has is disgusting.I really wish I could open a family members eyes so she could see exactly what’s going on.
My boss is 5 feet tall and straight out the box tried talking to me any kind of way. I’m a New York City Bronx girl so He quickly learned I wasn’t having it. That was 7 years ago and we’ve literally been best friends ever since. Just like any shark, punch it in the nose and it folds like a flower.
