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Why Men Resist Becoming Providers

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CHAPTERS IN THIS VIDEO!
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I was asked in the Patreon live chat “why so many men nowadays resist being providers” and we had an interested conversation around the topic So I thought I’d share with you some insights from this conversation.
And btw If you are interested in becoming part of these conversations and learning from them, make sure to check out the first tier of Patreon that I created specifically to give access to the chat.
Ok so, It all started from the argument that every man in a relationship with a feminine relaxed woman would step up and become a provider because of polarity.
And of course I don’t believe that is true at all.
I believe that non-providers will display a lot of resistance becoming providers because whatever caused them to be non-providers is well ingrained and programmed in their minds so a woman stepping into her feminine will not magically deprogram that.
The question was asked as to is it because of limiting beliefs or because of lack of motivation and laziness, that maybe they just don’t want to work harder and make more money and they prefer to relax chill and remain in their comfort zone.
And there might be some of that at play,
But my answer was
But I believe the main reasons for men to resist becoming providers is because many of these men nowadays have a poverty mindset and/or were raised with feminist values (having a feminist mother for example).
Because even when some of them manage to acquire some wealth, they refuse to provide despite having the ability to do so...?
I have seen experienced it myself and one of my patreons mentioned reading stories like that.
So laziness and wanting to be in their comfort zone is just a first line of defense, because only when they get some money can you judge if they are providers and if they have a provider mindset.
Because when they stop being lazy and they start working hard and making money...some of them still don't provide for the reasons previously mentioned (1. poverty mindset thye think to themselves "I worked very hard for every penny"
or feminism thinking to themselves " you can go and make your own money, why would I pay".
when men don't grow up with provider mindset it's hard for them to become providers and I feel the way they could become is not through working harder but is through their mindset, of understanding the value of being a provider as opposed to saving his money.
Of course lazy men put themselves in a non-provider place so that they don't even need to explain why they are saving their money.
and so when these men become rich ( we shall call tbhem the nez rich) and refuse to provide, that is because they still carry with them poverty mindset.
have you ever heard of the expression " poor with money "?, to me a new rich man refusing to provide still has poverty mindset and 'fears' to spend his money on the wrong woman or that she is with him only for his money
And lastly there was a question about my opinion on women having an issue with men providing and hating on women who are provided for
My answer weas that I think it comes down to their trauma of having had to step up and take care of themselves because there was no man around to do that ( sometimes its generational trauma transmitted from mother/grandmother ) and/or deep down they know that if they opened up themselves to the possibility of being provided for, they may not like the feedback they may get...they may not be successful at attracting a provider. So to be safe, they unconsciously prefer to hate on provider men and women being provided for because they suspect they don't have that option if they were open to it.
What ia have always preached is to not try to make something out of a man that he is not in the first place or he clearly does not have the pre requisite to become. I tried it in relationships and in other areas and It failed and a lost a lot of time in the process.
I preach to becoming a better version of you so that you attract a man who is already there.
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Опубликовано:

14 ноя 2023

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Комментарии : 129

@vikki8699 9 месяцев назад

Agreed. When a man has everything, how he treats you and his loved ones is really telling of their character best time to judge a man is when he has the riches he wanted. I've known poverty mindset rich guys they may of had 6 figueres, however they were broke because they were not financially literate and lived beyond their means.

@heide-raquelfuss5580 4 месяца назад

Also, it is easy to be royal with money if you have it to provide for your woman, children. The best is...look at what the man does, when working hard not having much money and see if he STILL IS A PROVIDER and spend it in you if he sees you need something! If he is poor, giving food, even if he has not much food, that is the man for you. A man who cares is a man who tries to make you comforyable, being fed, being cared for. Not being confused with a man who showers you with gadgets, dinners, perfume, not important essencial things...instead paying for your education, a dress for a job intervieuw, healthy food, paying a hairdresser so you feel confident if you can not pay it yourself. He does not provide to impress you, but to help you feel protected ans cared for, showing he is there for you. NOT TO WIN YOU OVER and throwing away earned money. A man who can safe money, but still knows when to spend money on what and so on.

@Redsiix 2 месяца назад

Obviously you’d like a comment that was written by another do nothing woman. Beauty won’t last forever, you’ll be replaced by the time you are 30, which is why there are many single women in their 30’s

@morganeoghmanann9792 Месяц назад

@@Redsiix Beauty doesn't last forever with men either and they are used up before women. Men start losing testosterone about ten years before women go into menopause. The reason so many 30+ women are single is by choice. In case you haven't checked in with your bros, they claim there is an "epidemic of loneliness" among men and they blame women for it. As women get older, they make a life for themselves and have other women to turn to in friendship. No loneliness. No growing old alone. That is literally another piece of gaslighting to scare women. Except younger women are now decentering men from their lives and truly enjoying their autonomy. Women know how to take care of themselves, do their own laundry and housekeeping. Most men decided a long time ago that such things were way too menial for their superior egos. Young women see how older women are doing it and they like what their own future looks like. Women never had the privilege of being waited on hand and foot all their lives and catered to like boys and men. And men are having a fit. Epidemic of loneliness? Seriously?! If men knew how to be friends with other men, and learned how to do their own cooking and laundry, they would feel the same freedom from women. There would be no problem.

@SM999 9 месяцев назад

It is a reflection of deep mother wounding. It's repressed resentment toward their mother hence they transfer that hate onto women

@phalynwilliams4119 9 месяцев назад

I totally 💯 agree with you. I think that feminine women need to focus 🧘‍♀️ their time and energy on choosing and noticing true provider minded men. It is a waste of energy asking why a man won’t provide? Feminine men will always have an excuse for why they don’t or won’t do it.

@heide-raquelfuss5580 4 месяца назад

Its not about 'feminine man' but about grown boys, still with a boy mentality or just egoistic, not royal, to selfcentered, or not able to provide or just not interrested in that woman. Narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths have also a negative mindset.

@kpeggs82 9 месяцев назад

I think it doesnt really matter why the man isnt a provider. The point is that they arent and very well wont be, at least not with you.

@peterhoatson 9 месяцев назад

Mostly true. I was a provider earning very well with my wife not working, the only one in the "hood while she brought up our child, something we both wanted. I got sick and she skidaddled with my daughter and found another free source of income. I'm better now and would love to provide for a new woman but I have my radar on and today's woman is way more demanding than they are appreciative. True that most men IMHO have lost their masculinity and all the benefit that comes from a sense of providing for their woman, which is very sad. Great topic

@Theblackswan55 9 месяцев назад

We often don't talk about it but a woman must honor a husband who is providing and should not run away when he falls sick, in order to deserve a provider husband. Thanks for your comment.

@JennaHasm 8 месяцев назад

Question: Could she afford to do beauty mentenance? Or was it only bare minimum providing, as I usually see.

@peterhoatson 8 месяцев назад

@@JennaHasm she didn't need to work, I provided for everything

@Hammerhead137 7 месяцев назад

@Theblackswan55 Maybe you should start talking about that more instead of talking about younger men "with potential" like we're cockroaches. I for one have had enough of "empowered" women and their shitty behavior and hypergamy. Right now women age 21-35 refuse to be wives mothers and homemakers. Until that changes, they don't deserve a provider, period. The is no justification for believing otherwise.

@shmayisraelhomez8160 6 месяцев назад

That’s sad to hear. I know most of the time the hardest thing for a woman to do is leave the man she has a child with that she loves. Sometimes a man will say she left me because of this, but if you asked her there are six other reasons. I pray she didn’t leave you only because you got sick because that would be heartless and usually a mother just wouldn’t do that to the father of her child but if she did that’s horrible and I pray you find happiness, and forgiveness. And if it was other reasons I still with you the same and add realization so it doesn’t happen again. Many blessings to you.

@wheatonrecurrence9525 8 месяцев назад

Ok I have a question. I’m a man (not rich but I have enough to provide) but I prefer my woman to be strong and independent to a point where she doesn’t need me financially but she does need me for other things: emotionally, spiritually, to raise kids together, etc. I want her to be able to leave me if she wants to because she’s financially sustainable herself just as I am. But because we enjoy each other so much and want to build a life together, she stays with me. Is that a poverty mindset? Or is my preference wrong an invalid? All these labels I think are so stupid honestly but if women thinks this way I might as well learn it. Also what’s wrong with wanting 50/50 financially? Or is it that men and are women are just inherently different that if financials are split 50/50, women offer so much more than men outside of money that it couldn’t possibly be fair. As a man, I’m so confused. My surroundings are mostly progressive liberals with a feminist mindset and I was told it’s wrong to expect a woman to stay at home, raise the kids, and rely on the man for money. But now listening to this channel it’s different. Why can’t we all agree on how a man should be lol. I’m just a young man in his 20s figuring out life btw, not attacking anyone here.

@purpleb4682 8 месяцев назад

Let me give you my thoughts on this : the way i was raised ( in a muslim household) the man should be the provider ( shelter, food, clothes & basic needs, kids… dates, travel.. all the financial aspects ) the more generous he is the best. & the woman can work or stay home her choice, if she works and makes money that’s her money only she has no obligation what so ever on how to spend it ( strong, independent & free ..) . if she wants to help financially in the household she’s free to do so but generally the man will refuse & take the lead .. ( generous women always find ways to spend their money to help people around them.. ) with this philosophy men always finds ways to make a good amount of money to help his family & the woman finds other ways to help.. let me know if you have any questions

@elanebula7080 6 месяцев назад

As a woman, I agree with what you have stated in your comment and I am watching this video and being confused just as you are. I don't think it's fair that a woman who is working just spends it on herself to have independence, and a man must provide for the family. It just doesn't sound fair for the man. As a woman, I do not want to be the only one to care of my children, I want my kids to have a father, as absent fathers were unfortunately so common. I want him to share the work with our kids so the kids learn from both of us. Therefore, it wouldn't be fair of me to expect my man to both provide and take care of our children. I want us to both provide and take care of children within our capabilities. Of course, it is important for a man to have a stable job as I won't be able to work while pregnant, but that still doesn't mean that when I start to work, I'll buy myself blingy thingies and toys and my husband is the only one who needs to think about the necessities. Both parties must not be selfish but be ready to provide for their families

@elanebula7080 6 месяцев назад

One thing is a man who is selfish and using money for toys and flexing and not wanting to give to a family, but another thing is to expect money from him without wanting him to be present as a parent and without you being able to leave the relationship if it becomes abusive.

@NidzShah-ps6kr 5 месяцев назад

This is a very good question. I think you should make decisions based on your affordability. If you really want a family at your age or in the next couple of years, but you can't afford it on one income, then go for 2 incomes, but understand that having children takes a toll on a woman's body and career and 50-50 may not work there or you may have to hit the pause button on it temporarily. You can do whatever your situation permits but move forward with realistic expectations and a realistic idea of kids and workplace expectations and how they dictate our lives. There is no fixed template like before, everything is situational. No one on here is going to take this advice just as is, they are going to tweak it to their needs. Hope that helped. Good luck! :)

@heide-raquelfuss5580 4 месяца назад

I think, both need to be as strong as they are capable of and work together to be strong and if someone has it difficult you still stick together to provide. 2 people working together to make shure the household gets stable, stays stable and try to find an equilibrium is key. Both parties i guess do what they are capable of. A woman should learn to be strong, wise, knowledgeable and learn to work for money too. Because what if YOU get sick, diabled, lose job, etc or one day you leave her or you die. A woman who stays home and does nothing to earn money, study to earn money one day...means, she and the household collapses when she suddenly is alone or you sick, or in war, handicaped, or just having a burnout or months long revalidation, etc. In nature you see all animals women/men searching for food on their own, making shelters on their own and hopefully grow up to be provuders to themselves and when meeting a partner they still work together to find food, water, shelter, safty and so on, with a few exceptions where animals leave after mating. Or parasite and leave only 1 person to do it al alone without help and being vulnerable with kids. We need eachother to stay strong and more possibilities for survival in a very harsh planet. My mother wanted to work. But she hated sharing money she earned. She expected a man to provide money on her and me, but never vice versa. She punished my father when he quit his job, was weak in bed and when he made not enough. My mother thought a man is the 100% provider and i do feel SHE IS COLD and EGOISTIC. Selfcentered, unempathic, with no compassion and sees a man as an entity who are to punished if he makes a mistake, is sick or just does not feel well. If she has the feeling to buy HIM food or even me...she allways thinks it is not her job. It is his job. She says...she gives, sex, cleans...that is enough. Mind you...she does not make a house, a HOME and her cooking is allmost no platable and allways the same and basic on only cooks what she likes. I find my own mother not fair, not having a man's back, not caring and compassionate, selfserving/selfcentered, emotional not even supportive and a punisher, criticaster all day long. I saw my father changing during the years and just at the end bursting in anger. She deserved it. This relationship was doomed from the start. My mother is not capable of living and be warm and caring and has the mindset of a toxic person. She is my biologic mother but i do not love her or like her. She gaslights me her daughter for decades. Lies patologically. Deflects responsability, plays dump, has a toxic mindset. My father choosed wrong based on his own experiences in his household. He choosed the same toxicity as he saw between his parents and how his both parents where and how they treated HIM also. He saw my mother and i think felt at home again and repeated his negative life from his childhood. My mother allways critics and his mother too. My mother had the same hand tremors like his mother, the same sleepy eyes/bedroom eues, the same mouth, silly way of childish behavior. His father was a tyrant, like his wife but in different areas. It is complex. My father died very early from his life of feeling lonely and chronic stressed and a woman who never had his back and emotional support, talking bad behind his back. She had also a low IQ, EQ, SQ. She was cruel, mean when things did not go like she expected, wanted, needed. I understand why some men are reluctand to trust women. Women can be hurtful, crazy making also, like any other man. As we are humans. So...find a good character as a partner which has a right mindset, a higher IQ, EQ, SQ. Someone who wants to co- operate with you and you as aswell, to form a deep bonding and trust, so you are eachothers best friend, where good communication is present to resolve issues. A good couple has no joy in dominating eachother and do not play power games and do not show crazy making toxic behaviors. They both want the best in eachithet and care about eachothers wellbeing and are trustworthy. I just wanted to add this al. I hope it helps.

@Tomisinshalewa 9 месяцев назад

This is all so very true☹️ Thanks for this

@anitapius6225 9 месяцев назад

I totally agree with you.

@thetruepath4534 9 месяцев назад

Easy answer would be THEY HAVE LESS TESTRoSTRONE According to my point of view

@NewYorkNadia 7 месяцев назад

SPOT TF ON 💯💯💯

@Hintedbymarina 9 месяцев назад

I completely agree! Especially with the feminist upbringing...there is NO reversing that kind of household example and conditioning in a man

@averageconsumer0 9 месяцев назад

have you considered that maybe men dont wanna be taken advantage of and thus avoid becoming the provider out of self preservation?

@Theblackswan55 9 месяцев назад

Poverty and scarce mindset right there.

@wtv377 9 месяцев назад

@20324758 Yeah, I call BS. My ex said that and then resented me when I became the provider. Then as soon as we broke up, he got with a younger, poorer girl who he could easily impress 🤷‍♀️

@auriel8300 9 месяцев назад

Modern women are horrid partner and don't deserve to be wifed. The more you give to them. The more they hate you and the more ungrateful they will be. Nothing will be enough for them.

@lfv3709 9 месяцев назад

She literally addresses that in the middle of the video. Try to listen.

@d.shidon 9 месяцев назад

If you were listening, that exact point was mentioned.

@alaiaadam5767 4 месяца назад

🍻🏆🍻🏆🍻 3:40 Great tip

@wandasworldhaircarejourney5788 9 месяцев назад

Great Content

@Theblackswan55 9 месяцев назад

Thank you

@Isabelle.B 5 месяцев назад

When a man is ready to provide and a woman is ready to nurture, no one is taking advantage of the other. Also, she should be protected in the event that she is single again. Therefore she should be allocated a certain sum monthly that she can save.

@robicarm 7 месяцев назад

IMHO men don't invest any time, energy, or finance in anything or anyone if they are not important enough to them.

@gunfugames7430 5 месяцев назад

This is absolutely true. Women are mistaken most of the time. SIMPLE doesn't means "EASY" or "STUPID".

@ajones8008 9 месяцев назад

What is the incentive for males to become a provider?

@dlady4 9 месяцев назад

Why does there have to be an incentive? What is the incentive for people to live? to walk? to talk? It is part of the inherent nature of a species to be a certain way. Until recent times, men have, for the most part, lived in their inherent roles of providers whereas women have naturally taken the role of nurturers. The problem started arising when both genders started exploiting their biology/ God given roles and used them to take advantage of others.

@yourgooglemeister6745 9 месяцев назад

None. With the current inventory of women and the high possibility of being cuckolded

@tawvnmgmt7744 9 месяцев назад

So, you want to benefit from women for free?

@ajones8008 9 месяцев назад

@@dlady4 I do agree with most of what you said, but something we can't change is the problem. Unfortunately both genders started exploiting their biology and this is just part of human history right now. How do we revert or go back to the good old times. Or how would we move forward to have a healthy attitude with traditional gender roles instead of what we have now. It's hard to find good men and women in 2023 that still value their traditional God given rights and roles in life especially in the younger generations.

@dlady4 9 месяцев назад

@@ajones8008 Yes! These are the questions I believe we should be asking. These are the type of questions that hopefully begin a healthy dialogue and an honest quest for adequate answers and solutions. The way I see it, when someone poses the question: "What is the incentive for so and so to act a certain way?" reinforces and propagates the view that it is OK to continue to exploit one another as relationships are purely transactional. However, when the questions become: "how can we revert back to a healthier way of relating to each other? and "how would we move forward to have a healthy attitude with traditional gender roles instead of what we have now?' create the space to start discussions that will hopefully bring about change for the better and stop the mess we are in right now. People need to start once again caring about something/someone other than themselves. People also need to understand that other humans are not commodities. We don't see them getting traded on Wall Street. There's great value in creating honest, deep connections with others specially in a romantic way.

@IreneCleoJane 7 месяцев назад

Good channel...

@elainejohnston6227 6 месяцев назад

A lot of men throughout history resisted being providers! Most husbands breadcrumbed their wives despite her 24/7 domestic servitude. That is called cheap labor. Long before feminism the majority of households ran as production units with wives and children as its main source of income for the man. You can look this fact up. As heads of the household Men held the purse strings, but wives and children produced the products that the man sold for money. Before farming and commerce, we we hunters and gatherers! Gatherers means the women provided food for the group not just men. Men were not really ever providers, they were extortionists of cheap female labor.

@morganeoghmanann9792 Месяц назад

No. Not cheap labor. UNPAID labor.

@ram47863 2 месяца назад

You aren't his dream girl You just one of his option He's okay to have relationship with you because you are cheap All asian women knows this fact

@speedlife301 Месяц назад

Y’all not worth providing for simple. I make over 250k and I’m not paying 100% of the bill while a lazy, entitled woman.

@Memepage9 9 месяцев назад

Because they're making less 😂😂😂😂😂

@ajones8008 9 месяцев назад

times are tough out here hahah

@darkvalkyrie5366 9 месяцев назад

why would men do that/be a provider? is something expected in return from women? if so, is this negative for women?

@elainejohnston6227 6 месяцев назад

What was expected in the past from women was for them to waste all of their time and energy cleaning after, washing after, and cooking for the man and children. Most homes were also run as production units with wives and children farming and making products by hand that provided the income of the family. It’s only an illusion that men were provider’s because the truth is that a wife’s physical domestic labor on behalf of the husband and children should have been considered an earned right to the man’s money! What we have today is an expectation for the wife to do everything I.e house chores, errands, cooking, laundry, pregnancy, childcare, and produce half of the income in order for men to consider them equal while men only provide half the income. If men can no longer breadcrumb their wives, cheat on them, and beat them, then they no longer want to provide for them. The domestic workload for wives is still in tact, but since the subjection is legally removed and men can no longer boss wives around, men don’t feel respected enough to provide. The problem being that men think respect means obey…

@elanebula7080 6 месяцев назад

@@elainejohnston6227 is there a book about this so i can inform myself more about the reality of the past lifestyles

@morganeoghmanann9792 Месяц назад

Yes. 24/7/365 unpaid labor for years on end, all the while knowing that he could kick her to the curb on a whim for the next 20 year old that walks by.

@gunfugames7430 5 месяцев назад

Investing in low value women is -EV. If man don't want to spend money on you he doesn't have poverty mindset. It's you that are not worth the investment. Once you realise it you can start work on yourself and stop chasing men out of your league. You life get soon better.

@wshyangify 9 месяцев назад

I thought women are strong and independent? Why should they need provision?

@bhatfield1417 8 месяцев назад

Lmao

@elainejohnston6227 6 месяцев назад

@wshyangify Men were never providers, they were exploiters of cheap labor. Women were 24/7 domestic slaves for husbands who breadcrumbed them and expected obedience to their will for this minimum provision. This male provider crap is an illusion since wives earned their food and shelter by washing after, cooking, and cleaning after the man and their children. If you think you earned your wages for the labor you do outside the home so did wives for the labor they did within the home. Plus before feminism the checks of working wives were written out directly to the husband. Imagine your salary being given to your wife by your employer and you have to ask your wife’s permission for allowances of your own money!

@adelante3105 5 месяцев назад

We have no choice cuz y'all ain't pulling your weight

@bhatfield1417 5 месяцев назад

@@adelante3105 that's not independence

@wshyangify 5 месяцев назад

@@adelante3105 Men are certainly capable of pulling their weight, what they can't do is pull your fat ass and the whole laundry list of expectations too.

@aram9392 2 месяца назад

Life is short women should work.

@healthiswealth7555 8 месяцев назад

…A.K.A. a Rich Dusty

@Theblackswan55 8 месяцев назад

Correct

@patymk7515 2 месяца назад

Sprinkle Sprinkle

@shmayisraelhomez8160 6 месяцев назад

Also, some men hate responsibility. They don’t mind spending that same money they could be using to provide on fancy cars, expensive shoes and clothes to flex for other people, so in valuing these things and themselves above their wives they have no problem with her going to work so they can continue to flex however they want. And that definitely comes with the poverty mind set.

@shmayisraelhomez8160 6 месяцев назад

These are 50/50 men.

@mp32298 8 месяцев назад

Real answer is they realized it's BS women got what they wanted sadly to me it seems like it's lazy women who want men to provide for them Now fight

@elanebula7080 6 месяцев назад

As a woman I agree that lazy woman want a man to provide for them and if woman has a job they can spend it on toys for herself. Doesn't make sense. There has to be a balance, either youll have a man who provides and a woman who does house chores and takes cares of kids, or you both work and both take care of kids. I choose the second, as I dont want my kids to have an absent father

@Isabelle.B 5 месяцев назад

@@elanebula7080there are no two captains on board of a ship. Or else it’s gonna be the chaos. Men and women have definitely two different roles. They’re not equal but complementary. And this is what is needed for a well balanced household and relationship.

@elanebula7080 5 месяцев назад

@@Isabelle.B okay, but there's no chaos in my relationship. If you have healthy communication and one account for household spending it's perfect! And I do not like cooking and cleaning that much so we both do that and we both work. I am very lucky and happy that I can live the way I'm comfortable with my partner and he is happy with this balance as well. 😊 We are both growing and learning to be functional people with our chores and jobs and this way of living makes us respect the household as we are both contributing. Also we love to care for each other and suprise each other with nice home cooked dinners. If there's no ego but communicion, care and love, this lifestyle is functioning perfectly. Also, we do not have a need to have a hierarchy or a "captain of the ship". If there's something we do not agree on, we sit down and we both say our own reasons why we think that's good for the household and we very simply just agree or just come up with a compromise.

@Isabelle.B 5 месяцев назад

@@elanebula7080 sounds like a good team 👍

@Redsiix 5 месяцев назад

I work 2 jobs and make over a 100k. I'm not going to accept a woman just so you can drain my money away and I have nothing when I just want to relax. FU

@shmayisraelhomez8160 6 месяцев назад

A man should be providing for himself before meeting a woman and when he gets married and has children his expenses will go up but a a minimum if she is a full time mother. Expensive bag, shoes, hairstyles are luxuries not necessities. Men do not need to provide luxuries only necessities. If he chooses to provide luxuries then that is a bonus.

@morganeoghmanann9792 Месяц назад

That's her reward for all the unpaid labor she does for him? Maybe women should then only be providing basic wifey and homemaker duties. Minimum reward, minimum effort.

@wheatonrecurrence9525 8 месяцев назад

@bhatfield1417 8 месяцев назад

The point of being in a relationship is to be happy and because we naturally desire it. Find someone who thinks along similar lines of you and you'll be happy. All of this is nonsense. You won't find the life that makes you happy from listening to the extremes. It sounds like you want an independent woman who loves you and the rest is between you and her to figure out.

@wheatonrecurrence9525 8 месяцев назад

@@bhatfield1417 thank you for that I agree. Just as a young dude, I get so many conflicting advices and sometimes extremely strong opinions from more experienced people, so I get confused. But I’ll find my own way and be happy, I think/hope.