3:52 "Beauty cannot be subjective, at least not PURELY subjective" 12:07 "There's no such thing as [PURELY] subjective beauty standards, it's really a mix of both (objective & subjective) Explained why here: qoves.com/can-physical-beauty-be-improved/ How social media affects perceptions of beauty (subjective): ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-XGmu1ktgOBE.html Cross-cultural agreement on beauty (objective): ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-Q2afARZAiLI.html Role of colonialism in beauty standards (subjective): ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-dzqM0e09CZc.html Evolutionary explanations for beauty (objective): Beauty standards across different cultures (subjective): ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-dX3avOI-cGE.html / ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-8s27q47qInA.html Please stop with the long paragraphs on why beauty is not 100% objective, that is not what I am saying. We are against the idea that beauty is 100% subjective, that does not mean that there is still not a strong element of subjectivity, just not as strong as you may believe.
People don't like the fact that beauty is not completely subjective. It makes them feel good when they think it is. If babies can tell who's attractive, then it's not completely subjective.
You’re reading too much into what she said despite her acknowledging that there’s a conventional standard of beauty. Isn’t that aligned with your ideology? I’m not sure what you’re disagreeing with. She believes in the same thing as you do.
During puberty I went from ugly to attractive very quickly and people would be SO ANGRY at me for still being insecure and shy. As if my looks improving would automatically undo years of bullying. Anyone who doesn’t “know their place” is punished for it. Everyone knows there is a hierarchy.
i think its stupid ppl that make ppl mad, if u dont know ur place then u gotta b an air head... its like trolls on the internet they act stupid 2 make ppl mad
yeah bro, calling me ugly when im 6'1, sharp jaw, almond deepset eyes, pretty hands, full plump lips, high set cheekbones, is absolutely gonna ruin me bro!!!11
@@tiagomoraes1510 im just saying, as a bar tender in my past with already super model looks, when i poured drinks id visibly catch the girls looking at them bc they're genuinely close to perfection in terms of the prettiness, skin tone and veinyness
I'm so glad someone is voicing the truth if what we "ugly people" have experienced. When I was younger I would wear nice clothes like the popular kids to try to avoid bullying. It only made it worse. They seemed to be angry that I was wearing "THEIR" clothes without having the social status to "back it up."
Same here. 😂 They couldn’t leave ugly kids alone bc they HAD to have visual confirmation of their superiority. 💀 Imagine being so insecure you get mad at someone for wearing clothes. 🤣🤣🤣
@@aimforlifenow they don't feel like they could be confident without their attractiveness because they have incorporated the base of their entire self around their looks and it completely destroys them that you have what they have without being attractive
@@bunnywavyxx9524 that’s not it all. When people gate keep its because they are tribal by nature. “You’re not one of us” is the main factor for why kids will bully someone for copying their clothes. Think about it, this person admitted to dressing like the cool kids to avoid getting bullied…that’s the real insecurity and it shows, so not only are you insecure and an easy target but now you’re ruining the cool thing these kids like. It’s like how black people start a cool trend or word and then by the time a white middle aged mom is using it black ppl don’t even wanna say it anymore and will tease the white moms for using it. “You’re not one of us” so why you on our shit? It’s really that simple
gosh . i remember a time when i was in middle school there was a girl who was three below (like grade 4)i was grade 7 above me (grade 8) would go to the girl (grade 4) wearing timberlands "saying why are you wearing that" . the girl felts so bad so felt like she did something wrong.
Honestly I'm a "victim" of "all people are beautiful" "beauty is subjective"... I used to believe that if I just be myself, people who interested would just "naturally" come.. I try to be smart, knowledgeable, read books, blabla (other than appearance) but nope. Looks matter. That's a harsh truth that I have to learn.. after 25 years being single. It's kinda like "don't judge book by its cover" but if the cover shitty you won't buy the book:/
If the book's cover has the most basic of design but the content is fire, I politely disagree. Also, not to undermine your struggle, but there's people with deforming conditions and disabilities that are quite impairing who do find partners. It's just rare and perhaps a bit improved with online means of communication. I like that you're realistic but I hope you get a chance to connect with someone who appreciates you aside from superficial terms.
@@ackzk I surprisingly agree with you. The thing is, our "basic design" is different. I'm ugly.... not basic or average. Thats why I dont need to be pretty, I just wanna be average/not shitty looking. Like if the book cover is average, you'd give a chance to look the inside.. And yes, people with deforming conditions, disabilities, etc CAN absolutely get partners too. Although it's rare but imo, the environment also help in many case many of them have a "community" based on their condition/"look". In their therapy place or something. Even with their own nurse sometimes! Environment play a huge role too, either you live in rural area or big cities, more people you can meet, more chance you can get someone. Like let's say in average 1 out of 100 person "naturally" attracted to you. But for someone that ugly or someone with disabilities etc, the chances are we have to meet more people to get that 1 person attracted to us. The chances would be higher if "ugly" person can have "community" too, like "ugly person group":/ Also yes, online definitely help to get the chance higher, but also can be quiet harsh, someone literally stopped talking to me as soon as I sent my picture. But yeah, definitely not impossible for me to meet someone who accept me the way I am, but after 25 years, im done, I need to change something to get that chance higher. My English isn't that good, I hope you get what I meant:/
@@adaninurs your English is great. People find me attractive, I'm relatively smart and I'm kind. I'm still alone though. I'm quiet, so people find me dull and pointless. I hope you accept yourself
@@sabrinapitt1466 We all have something that we have to "improve", social skills isnt easy to learn, but definitely can be learned:) I'm not quite btw, in fact I talk a lot, I have plenty of friends, male and female friends, but all of them see me as friends. The moment that made me realized all of these, one of my close friend said to me "the first time I met you in college, I thought u weren't friendly, u look very angry, tired, and not bother to have friend lmao"... That really hit me, that look really matters. We all have something to improve, none of us perfect, in my case definitely appearance, but maybe yours social skills, im not saying you 'have' to be extrovert blabla, but any relationship even friendship needs effort. Remember our friends bday, surprise gift, text them how are they doing, etc. Especially if you are an adult, friendship needs extra effort, people are busy with their own life journey, no more school, dorm, anything that "forced" us to make friends/relationship. I highly recommend the last video on "kurzgesagt" channel:) it's about that!
You are so off. I'm not bad looking but shy and that's why I'm single. I know someone who is ugly and heavily overweight and she is dating someone new every weekend. Don't expect relationships to gravitate towards you if you just sit there doing nothing.
I don’t think when she says “beauty is subjective” she literally thinks that because she does also say that there is conventional beauty. I think she simply means that individuals are able to like things outside of things deemed conveniently beautiful.
no attractive women in the entire world of the west wouldn't settle below their looks unless they have issues that the guy could offer them. women see men as tools to better their lives, if the guy is below them in looks
He went on an unnecessarily long tangent, honestly. She did *literally* say that conventional standards exist. Though, she did do a bit of doublespeak where she said "if you are ugly you probably arent ugly", but I took that more to mean "even if you are ugly, someone still finds you attractive".
Tbh I think she says that because a bunch weirdo losers are going to be like "uuuuh actually beauty is subjective" in the comments and she's trying to stop that
He took long because there’ll be new viewers in his channel, so he spent time to thoroughly state his opinion. What he did made sense, specially because the “beauty is both objective and subjective” is what his *whole* channel is about.
when i say im ugly i mean it. im a girl however theres nothing feminine judging by the way i look. im sick of people trying to change my mind by saying that im beautiful and looks dont matter. ugly ppl exist,people make fun of them all the time,theres ruthless memes and posts about them...the world does acknowledge that ugly people exist but at the same time deny when an ugly person calls themselves ugly
It’s an ugly truth of humanity. There’s really nothing to be done about it. One of nature’s crueler tricks. Because non-attractive people are not a cultural or social “group” - like race or religion - there is no push to change how people treat others based on attractiveness. Life isn’t fair, never has been.
Beauty is still in the eye of the beholder but there is still conventional beauty/what is deemed as generally attractive. My friend finds frogs cute for some odd reason but lets b real they aren't puppies.
@@thingl7859 A person who's missing teeth is less attractive than someone who has a full set of straight white teeth. Uglyness implies a sick body, bad genetics, raised in unhealthy environments, lack of care for one's health, etc. You see a person with missing teeth and you think they might have bad hygiene, they can't afford a dentist, they have crap genetics, etc. There are objective standards to beauty, otherwise this channel wouldn't exist and we wouldn't be discussing it.
@@snark567 but on the other hand, rough appearance can be attractive as well. It's because that type of person looks dangerous and seems a good protector.
There's a diff between "most people think something is ugly" and "something is ugly". The 1st one is an observable truth, the second one is litterally unfalsiabable because ugliness is a construct that changes around places and times. There doesn't need to be a debate about something that doesn't exist. Something is only ugly relative to a specified standard that itself doesn't have any absolute value.
I don’t think she was telling a lie at all. The most commom place for people to be bullied is in school because everyone are insecure and immature and power structures av very visible and a bunch of brats are acting out. In school most people who are put down by others are not ugly. They might fall in the category ”ugly duckling” because they don’t know themselves, aren’t comfortable in their body, haven’t found their own expression, style or hairstyle or know at all how to bring forward their best features. I think it’s extremely toxic to tell akward teenagers that the reason why they are being bullied or whatever is because they are ugly or not attractive. It shoots them down before they even had a chance. That is how incels are made.
Yeah thats what I assumed she meant too. I agree with Qoves but I think her intent was more like "the likelihood that you're ugly rather than simply awkward or unattractive is low"
despite all this, no one goes through bullying now within the era of 12-17 year olds. that doesn't exist bc women even at these ages decide what determines good men, and by the notion of this theory, it is implying all girls are somehow of the scope that they're toxic and superficial, and instantly feel to shame unattractive people. this isn't how anything correlates, since all young girls do is mirror adult girls, and try to better their likability. girls claim they get bullied and all these traits but usually it is something that is far more than just a person picking on them, whereas again, with men, the type of bullying that exists is varied and creates isolation. it is just weird how girls seem to think of it as "people" collectively, when addressing these effects on bullying, but the outcomes are always in favour of women, and young girls, since they can always find support for one, and always will maintain the ability to use some form of looks to attract a good group of guys and girls to aid through all their minuscule insecurities these power structures again do not really exist now. you're acting like these girls and guys aged 12-17 are locked in a 17 again type environment when mostly, everyone is accepted, and looks are targeted when arguments, or general dislike occurs. this isn't due to looks though and it isn't really documented for it to actually matter it is a whole acceptence to have all this negative traits you're talking about either way, so all of it is kinda just a non-sequitur intersting u mention people then admit it is only primarily for men that this matters. all girls are seen as attractive by girls above them in looks bc they want to give fake positivity, and the guys often follow that level of wishful thinking incels are solely created bc women who are in the same tier as them are sharing 20% of the best men. that's all there really is to it
@@breannaw7254 it doesn't matter if you're unattractive as a woman, you can still get men, develop a good body to be used and gain attention. ive seen several hundreds of unattractive women online with huge followings bc they're a female with decent properties
Y’all remember the trend on tiktok that was like “it’s all about confidence” in terms of making yourself attractive even if you’re ugly? Yet how those same people on tiktok bullied anyone who was not conventionally attractive when they acted confident or sang along to music in a confident way? Yeah.
tiktok literally got caught censoring people who aren't conventionally attractive such as ethnic minorities, disabled people, people with facial differences, people with skin conditions, etc
@@sgg4017 yes if you dont act the way you look, then it will be cringe according to others. if ugly person acts all confident it will be uncomfortable for others around
I think when she says “quote unquote not ugly” she probably means that no matter how you look there’s probably someone out there that does find you attractive even if you aren’t the conventional standard
She never said beauty standards were subjective, but that beauty is, in the sense that anyone can disagree with those standards and have their own idea of who is and who is not beautiful. That, in no way, invalidates the reality of being labeled ugly to the public eye, it just acknowledges that 'being ugly' doesn't really mean anything. She was never being condescending.
I kind of get what she meant when she said "if you're considered ugly you're probably not ugly". If you have unconventional features like a big nose or dark skin, that doesn't make you ugly but people might treat you as such. There's been so many occasions when an average or below average white girl was put above a pretty black girl just because they're white. So in that sense some people who are treated as ugly in this world probably aren't and are just conditioned to believe they are.
Yeah I agree. Also, I think she was referring to what society finds beautiful, not necessarily each individual's thoughts. I agreed with her points a lot.
But again what people find attractive vs what is attractive is the same thing surely. We aren't talking about niche cases. If 95 out of 100 people find one particular person more attractive than the other that's basically the same as just stating someone is more attractive. Again that doesn't mean no one will find the other person attractive but saying that those 100 peoples judgements aren't an objective measure is semantics frankly. Because what is the function of attractive if its not to attract potential partners? Like I completely get what you're saying and it's not intended to be an attack or criticism it just seems like people are missing the point.
QOVES despite the bits that the lady at the intro got wrong, I think it's more valuable and important that she puts out the message out there. You should be aware of the type of people who disparage you, and why they do. By putting the video up she's essentially putting herself in your shoes without the benefit of anonymity. Whether subconsciously or not, she probably put those "self-censorship" to a) protect herself; and b) make it more "palatable" to her audience. Overall, I think her video is a positive in the sense it gets people to accept, consciously, of the existence of attractiveness bias, even if it's by a tiny bit.
the OP unironically claimed women need to have a personality. ive seen unattractive women have hundreds upon hundreds of men want them. basically, she seems to bundle up the issues men have, even with the attractive ones, and for some odd reason is equalizing the treatment from X opposing genders. girls don't need personality to keep men around, and this term doesn't make much sense at all to women as they just throw it around without any specific details for why. the reason they do this is because women attempt to justify a lot of superficiality and this enables them to essentially make attractive men, more interesting due to their looks, and not something external. looks are the by and end all of life and women know this, so many like they've admitted on this channel are getting surgery
@@leonhamm5639 Could you reply with a link to the videos that showed his face? I would be very interested. Most I know is that he's Middle Eastern Australian.
I don’t think she was being condescending, I think she was just trying to avoid all the backlash of people saying everyone is beautiful in their own way, which is an unproductive conversation and completely detracts from the point of the video
There were people I hadn't connected with during the time I was losing weight, and then did during the tail-end and it took them a minute to recognize me. Being smaller and more mobile always blows my mind, and I can imagine people reading that who have been their whole lives and thinking how absurd that sounds-but it really is the little things they took for granted that I now have access to that have completely opened up the world to me. And of course, the social benefits are all there at work, in friend groups and likely in dating, which leads me to my next point... Losing weight and/or becoming more physically attractive won't be the end of the problems in your head that came with being previously unattractive. In spite of knowing with evidence from the environmental feedback that I'm treated better and that the threshold for taking social risks has been broadened to a great degree, the fat guy mentality is still there. That compulsion to always remain in the background in a room full of people and to never ever catch the spotlight even for but a moment is still pervasive. My capacity to have short confidence sprints is something that I now have, but my set-point hasn't changed all that much. It's box thinking. People meet you, and see you; they put you in a box. If you're the fat guy, you go into a particular box. If you're not, in the other box you go. I had to completely relearn social dynamics, because I was put in a completely different box after I lost the weight. Because where acting like the fat guy before (being in the background; the third-wheel) served me, it worked against me when I was no longer on the fat guy box. In fact, I'm expected to act assertive, dominant and out going. Anything else is a looks/personality mismatch and people REALLY don't like that.
I've also been fat and fit and can attest to the accuracy of this comment. There's two boxes above a 7 and below a 7. You do NOT want to be in the below a 7 box. It is the hell on earth many write about in novels.
@@JesusChrist2000BC Would you say 7 is above average or average? Because there's a disagreement there, some say 5 is average and some say 7 is average, and to be honest I say 5 makes more sense even though I understand why people think it's 7, something to do with grading in the US. Honestly even in my country 5 is a failing grade so if I rated myself as average I would have said 6, since that's the barely passing grade lol and it sounds better than a 5.
This describes it perfectly. I was skinny and not that tall. I started to lift weights and achieved a decent physique and in the midst also hit my growth spurt and now I’m 6’1 and fit and don’t have much acne anymore, people do treat you better yes, but due to all those years of being unattractive I find myself still very introverted and not very trusting of people.
@@lebrilopejackalope5775 I personally think 7 is average. People that are 5s are below average, or might be more on the unattractive side of average. When people are 4s and 3s, if you say 5 is average, then they aren't really that bad. However, if 7 is average, then 6 is slightly below average, 8 is above average and 9s and 10s are more meaningful.
I think this concept of deserving theory also applies to nationalities, many people hate seeing people from third world or poorer countries become successful, either because its not the "norm", or because this fact messes with their reality of perceived hardships(i.e. if someone who lives in harder conditions have made it to the top, then your excuses are invalid).
Yes, since mostly Europeans invaded and looted, their standards became the norm, in looks, careers, culture. In India, people who cannot speak English are looked on as inferior and simpleton like.
A situation happened afew months ago where I work. I work with 3 pleasant looking women who are all married and I can imagine throughout their lives they've had a decent amount of validation. I however am conventionally unattractive,don't have a partner and obviously have had next to no validation. I understand that in these women's eyes(and society's eyes in general) I'm worth less than these women simply because I'm not attractive and not desired by men. Anyways afew months ago I over heard these women chatting shit about me and I confronted them about it and JESUS christ did they kick off, they simply couldn't stand that an ugly woman(aka) someone inferior to them dare challenge them. Even people who know me were shocked and said how brave I was. What? Lol because I stood up for myself lmao. If someone attractive stands up for themselves it's just expected, but someone ugly challenges people for treating them like shit and we're 'brave' lol. Ugly women are expected to act a certain way. Its expected we don't have partners(this part is mostly true) that no mam could never fancy us(again mostly true) but what annoys me most is that people think I shouldn't have any self esteem or self respect or value myself in any way because society doesn't value me. Well fuck you very much lol but i do have worth and i won't act how society expects me to
There is no ugly woman. You are working, you can make yourself a 10 if you want to. But first you need love your face and body to make it better. Your low self esteem is showing from this message. It's one of the reasons you are bullied in the work place and you will be bullied by your future partner, if you will not do inner work. Good luck.
@@annakarina8417 I know you mean well with your message but with peace and love what you said is bullshit. People always try and turn it round on me 'you have low self esteem, you don't love yourself' darling...I may be ugly, but I'm not stupid. Other people de value me...other people don't love me. The problem is not within me ,its my face. And I am working on myself, I'm working two jobs so I can have enough money to change my face and body so I can change my life. But thankyou
Now I understand why two of my female students (pregrad level) were making fun of me. They are conventionally pretty ladies and while I'm not completely hideous, I am not pretty either, not like them anyway. And I did walk confidently the first day of class and you could say I was giving my best energy. They probably felt threatened because of this as the video explains, I also made it a point to point out my studies and professional experience. Now I know better.... lol. And yes I'm funny, well read, smart, cool and interesting.
not some average looking female striving for surgery when she can't change her bad genetics and she can always pull a good looking guy solely using her body
No one that is cool, smart, interesting and funny would brag about it like you do. You’re just an annoying pick me and that’s why they were making fun of you
Wait if you are teacher and they are your students then don't take it personally. Students (pregrad is college I believe?) just tend to joke about regular professors everywhere, even giving nicknames behidn their backs. It has nothing to do with looks at all. If you are a great teacher, you could be super ugly, but still have great respect. One of my college professors was skinny and not handsome, but knowledgeable in the subjects he taught, taught us well with patience and remmebered every student which is like 70 new students a year, hence he was our fav teacher ever. Teachers who flaunt their knowledge and experience but are terrible at teaching are going to face even worse judgement from students. Pretty or not.
Life is just playing the cards you’ve been dealt. Some people are born with health disadvantages or hereditary diseases. People are too obsessed with comparison jealousy from instagram tiktok influencers. Comparison in general will kill life, love what you’ve been given turn your own lemons into lemonade
I think this is really strong with girls because of the effort they have to put into themselves in order to be ‘conventionally beautiful’… like shaving, makeup, dieting, working out, and generally restricting themselves in order to be taken seriously or treated like a person, and when they see other girls who are just as or more confident than they are, but without all the restrictions and work into their appearance or who are generally ‘ugly’, they think ‘if I have to do this to be accepted, than you should do, you can’t be the exception, because than everything I’ve done is for nothing’… which I think for the most part was said pretty well. But man I felt this in high school, as both the ugly one and the one who hated others for being ugly, and it pretty much all stemmed from self-hate.
I experienced this all my life when i was in the middle to high . Once i became 20 i literally glowed up. They still hate. It doesnt matter. Focus on yourself people will never stop hating and the support outweighs it
I agree with what she was saying. that even though beauty is subjective, bullies believe in the hierarchy and that they're higher so they feel comfortable mistreating those lower than them.
She’s not wrong- It’s a personal subconscious hierarchy. You may be ugly to some but not ugly to some. She talking about the instances in which you are perceived as ugly according to that person’s standard. I do agree that there is a objective standard of beauty, but human attraction is subjective.
I remember the last time I was getting into shape I actually got pretty lean and fit. I would guess maybe a little bit higher than 15% bodyfat. But the people around me didn't like that I was moving from my unattractive place to a higher rank. Especially when they weren't even trying to improve their look. So they all turned against me and made my life a living hell. If people hate you for improving yourself, that should tell you all you need to know about them. Don't react to them. Instead, take their hatred as a sign that you're going in the right direction. Don't ever open up to people that keep you from improving yourself.
I think people are confused. "Beauty is in the eye of beholder" is true only when they're comparing two or more people on the same level of attractiveness. Let's say there's a 10/10 beautiful identical twin, one has got blond hair the other has brown hair. Everything else is exactly same. Then it only comes down to who prefers blond hair to brown hair. This is an overly simplified example but if you branch out this idea, you'll understand how this concept works. You compare male models and some people would find one model more attractive than other models. Nobody would find a regualr pedestrian more attractive than a model. One person is 7/10 because he's got an amazing face but short, and the other person is 7/10 because he's got a regualr face but taller, muscular and got better sens of style. People who values a good looking face more than anything else would find the former more attractive whereas people who value the overall balance would find the latter more attractive. This is what "Beauty is in the eye of beholder".
@@labornurse some people don't really care how harmonious the hair color is to the complexion. It's kind of fetish thing. Some people ONLY go for blondes. Other things don't matter much. Some people ONLY go for heavier body type. Some people trick themselves into thinking someone closer to their level of attractiveness is more atteactive than someone who's more p Objectively attractive because they know that it's very unlikely that more attractive person would like them back. So they find reasons why less attractive person is more attractive to validate their own attractiveness.
Exactly, then it comes down to preference, which isn't objective but subjective. For one society measuring a beautiful person at one level, then another with with contrasting beauty standards measuring someone at a slightly lower level in their society, the latter society is still going to find the person of theirs more attractive. Beauty can't be objective when it varies, most of the things we find attractive have no logical or evolutionary/health based basis and "objectively beautiful" traits fall out of beauty, thus being no longer objectively beautiful which is nonsensical.
Where I live when I go walking I often greet or smile at people as I pass and always get the same back. But then for a while I had a weird walk after an accident and people would look at me funny and younger women would ignore me completely as I passed and said hello and even would give me a look of disgust without replying. That was an eye-opening experience for me. Men, boys and older women would give a funny look because of the weird walk, but they at least had the courtesy to return the greeting (this is a rural area where this is the norm for everybody), but younger women reacted as if I was some subhuman creature which was a little bit upsetting. Thankfully I'm walking normally again now after a year of physio
I am sorry you made this experience. As a young woman I always aswer when somebody friedly says hello. But for sure young women tend to be extremly superficial.
@@meeramoves4404 comments like yours always bother me and why didn't click with me until today. You're not adding any value here. Just needlessly commenting for the sake of virtue signalling. Your comment literally only exists to make you look like a good person. Do better
most of us aren't ugly we poor :( sometimes god don't give us everything, we can get it ourseleves. for many of us braces/invisalign, hair-do, proper skincare, proper fitness will get us looking attractive af. like many people are born talented but the one who isn't gotta work harder to get that position. its difficult but doable
Years ago I was traveling the world and my little sister said that people in my home town (I moved away a long time ago) probably think that I don’t deserve it. I was baffled. Maybe that’s her way of calling me unattractive.
Reminds me of when people tell very attractive people “omg I’d let you break my heart” . or the trend of “he’s a 10 but…” and they talk about whether the attractiveness can justify/makeup for their bad actions
This woman is spitting facts. There’s this one dude on my team who is REAL HANDSOME, but has the nastiest personality. All of us on the team tend to avoid them, cuz they get pissed really easily and curse 10x per sentence. On the other hand, our best player is objectively average looking, but he always works hard, always smiles, always positive, and in general, he’s a great guy. Everyone knows that, which is why he was a nominee for prom king last year (didn’t win sadly). Looks can give people a better impression of you, yeah, but looks aren’t everything. Your life is dependent on your character.
"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." - Master Yoda . Its almost funny to observe how people no matter attractive or not will try to put others down just to keep their own feeling of superiority. Coz they are afraid to lose that one thing that makes them "special".
I have a boss who literally hates every ugly employee and loves/ rewards the attractive employees just for existing. It's crazy how direct and obvious it is.
In Mexico, when Yalitza Aparicio, the staring actress of the Alfonso Cuarón's movie "Roma" was nominated for an Oscar, (who is a Mexican woman with strong indigenous features), she garnered a great amount of vitriol both from the public as well as many unfortunate comments from many soap opera consecrated beauties in the Mexican soap opera business. How dare she not know her place, was the general tone.
I'm in the same boat. Being ugly makes you humble in a way. Of course not everyone will be humbled by being ugly. And being attractive gives you more confidence. Both of which when added to your personality will boost it beyond any scale.
@@the1stmetalhead that's generally false. i feel like im the only super model tier socially awkward attractive man in the world or something. my life is insanely hard to accept pretty girls actively wanting me when i know they get guys with similar looks levels and actual confidence useless rant about my social awkwardness: i remember a baddie insta type girl followed me into a clothing store and as i turned to see her she was totally entranced in my view and strutting right towards me giving me the most intense look and she spent 15 minutes of her actual life waiting at the men's belt section, playing with her hair and fixing her look while looking back at me, as i just stood there roaming the entire sectiom 3 times over pretending she didn't exist. it was probably the most intense situation ive ever been in with a stranger that was a girl and this was when i was totally unaware i was like, at a super model's level. in that day, around 7 women approached me, but it was her that made me realise just how powerful it is to have deepset almomd eyes, be 6'1, have high set cheekbones, full lips and a jawline. most men on the planet do not have these mixed traits and i think it is why i have several stories of women obsessing for small periods of their lives either way, i just don't have the neurotypical traits to socialise so effortlessly and women make everything so awkward, where they build themselves up through appearance to impress me and im just clueless on how to approach this. i think out of the 200+ girls who have approached, i only spoke to 15 and had flings with them. if i had a little thing called confidence id be a totally different person, just by accepting the women that wanted me in their lives, and that is sorta frightening to think about sometimes
I grew up as a “beautiful duckling” and the result is that I avoid compliments because I find it too sweet. But I still want to make myself beautiful - just lowkey
Let’s be honest, beautiful people don’t rule the world; it’s only important if you’re into showbiz, fashion industry and other things that require you to look presentable and that too in a certain way.
i was born dirt poor and apparently my super model looks are supposed to get rid of this inherently damaging trait to my overall life and how women view me long term
I disagree. Presentable looking is required by most business sector. An employer definitely prefer more attractive applicant even for a sales consultant.
@@TheGothicguitar Yes true, but it is more that they need to be good-looking in a different way. They need to look presentable, powerful, wise, experienced, confident, not look like a model with pretty boy face. So yes they are good-looking just in a different way. Don't think beauty is subjective or objective, it is both.
It's Okay to be ugly. It doesn't make you any less valuable of a person but i think the fact that people dance around the fact that some people are ugly or just not attractive is just disingenuous. It really shows that our society values attractiveness over all the other positive qualities a person can have.
ye but just bc someone might not be seen as conventionally attractive or ugly by society at large doesn't mean some people wont still find them attractive. might not always be disingenuous, some people just like diff things.
Depends on how fucking ugly you actually are there are people who have disabilities they are burnt out deformed and etc they are considered to be ty ugliest in this world
I’ve been bullied and treated like i was the air for a year from my classmates. I came from countryside, was poor and ugly af. People talked sh*t about me on day 1 and I didn’t do anything. Nobody talked to me. I started to only focus on studying and I was a top tier student and they hated me more bc I became a nerd 😂 plus I was confident on myself too so they hated me for that not knowing my place lol Many years passed , still got scars. And now I’m quite rich and famous and prettier, they tryna be my friends now. 😂
Ya know, a few days ago I watched a video of Qoves explaining why comments about this channel being harmful are wrong and how pointing out the harsh reality of facial aesthetics and how people are treated helps to identify the problem so it can be fixed. This video is a prime example of that sentiment. Before this, I'd never heard of the deservingness theory, but I've seen it in practice and experienced it throughout my childhood. This channel discusses topics that call attention to one of the world's worst problems and gives perspective on how it can be changed. Thank you, Qoves.
@@q.w.e.r.t.y.8678 I am new to viewing videos on this channel but would never subscribe or watch videos regularly. Its definitely a channel a lot of people could go their whole life not knowing and be just finee
She's very pretty. She would get severe backlash if she said that beauty is objective or something like that. She just doesn't want to be offensive and get harassed for saying a hard truth
When you're already working class and unattractive and these bullies still try to "put me in my place" , like- honey, I already did that when I looked in the mirror and everytime I open my wallet, no need to repeat the same thing twice 💀. Also I'm only 2 min into the video, it just made me cry-laugh when I thought of it 😭 Edit: man it's been a while since I've been humbled and the replies did the job Someone report this 'gliding golovin' guy. Literally commented this sht: "unattractive asian girls unironically believing that bullying exists for women? unreal world we live in. unattractive girls have 10k followers on IG, please stop this self-pittying, falsehood in ur self absorbed, female inducing life x"
@@welcometoWWW invalidating someone's experience by saying the opposite only makes them double down on their reasoning. Because by disagreeing with her you just, called them stupid for coming to the conclusion to which they must have reached using logic and reason. Now I should also mention that beauty can be subjective. But the above point still stands.
I think, what she's saying about beauty being subjective, is that most of us are taught *what* objective beauty is, and we encourage/discourage people we know from being with others based on that current definition of objective beauty. Hence the trend cycle. Currently if someone is thin(excluding their facial beauty) they are more conventionally attractive than overweight/obese people. If someone is facially more conventionally attractive at a higher weight than someone else, we are being told(encouraged) to see the thinner person as more beautiful. If you think Tess Holiday is the bees knees, so many other people will try to convince you she isn't, that Molly Blair is more beautiful, don't date Tess Holiday, rather date an Amy Schumer than Tess Holiday but rather go for a Molly Blair. Like, if Kim Kardashian was tall and obese with the same bone structure and face, and Khloe was shorter and thinner... How many people would have tried to convince us that Kim is uglier than Khloe?? And the trends created by Kim are beautiful because she is seen as beautiful, Nicki Minaj was getting dragged for her unrealistically large behind, and Kim made people get BBLs lol.
What if I explained to you that Tess Holiday has high facial robusticity which leads to her having the same facial features at higher body fat than someone with a more gracile (softer) face, and our preference in the West for high robusticity makes her fall into the standards not some strange exception. Just because we (an individual) cannot explain it does not mean that it is subjective or there are no principles guiding our decisions. Amy Schumer who isn't particularly lean herself, would rate lower (as per your analogy to Tess) not because of her body weight but because she has less robust features which again, Western society does not have a liking for. that's like saying gravity is subjective because I can't explain it.
@@QOVESStudio No, that's exactly what I am saying! There are people who would argue that Tess is less beautiful than Amy purely on her weight despite her favorable facial robusticity. What I'm saying is, a lot of more measurable standards of beauty will be taken for granted it they are not pared with 'conventional' standards of beauty (being thin, having long and or blond hair, race, hourglass figure etc). I think, currently, if you are mostly unattractive but have more 'convetional' features (which are alterable noninvasively) you would be considered more beautiful than someone who hits all attractiveness markers but only has a few 'conventional' standards met. That's why people feel the need to justify 'unconventional' models, they know they are wrong for thinking this person is beautiful, but the science doesn't lie.
@@QOVESStudio If something is objective (fact-based, true) then there it needs an explanation, facts aren't just facts they are proven. Thinner was less desirable than a fuller, heavier body in the west in the 1800s, so it was an objective beauty standard. Yet thinner is more attractive than a fuller, heavier body, so it is objectively attractive now. Something objective doesn't fall out of objectivity it simply isn't a fact, and by admitting variations on an objective fact that's basically saying "this thing *isn't* objective according to this variation" and we are living in a world of variations.
I really enjoyed this video! I would like to know more about the opposite end of this spectrum. When people assign certain attributes to you and you don’t meet their standards and they are still just as upset.
I had a drastic glow-up post college (through a surgery, working out, having nice clothes, and a nice career), and it often pleases me to imagine the anger, envy, and frustrations of my ex-friends and acquaintances who looked down at me and thought that I didn't amount to much - simply because I wasn't blessed with average looking features like they do. Sometimes I just love to rub my new life on their faces and imagine their reactions. I may need a therapy for this, but god damn it feels great.
“ Sometimes I just love to rub my new life on their faces and imagine their reactions.” Err, pretty sure this is at least 90% why they’re annoyed with you.
@@citrosoda5370 Well true, but these are ex highschool friends and some nosy distant relatives who are no longer relevant - and yet are "friends" with me on social media. So I wouldn't want it any other way.
This also happens with attractive people actually. For example, good looking women using makeup to be even more attractive, and people get angry when they figure out she's not AS attractive even if she's still very much above average. You can see that a lot on the comment sections of makeup channels.
Beauty is empirical and universal however the beholder can strangely perceive a less attractive face as the zenith of attraction based on how they feel about that person. Source: once dated a 6 but my brain made her a 10 and I couldn’t be bothered by technical 10s. A fascinating phenomenon.
i keep watching these videos and ik that theoretically my face is good but i literally never get complements. no one treats me better at all so i think maybe im ugly but i dont realise it yet
I watched an interview with Jennifer Coolidge a while back where she said a lot of really good looking people are so *boring!* They have that, but does it bring them happiness and great friendships?
That's a really dumb comment lol, just because people are good looking doesn't mean they're interesting or they have a perfect life. On the same logic we could say that a lot of bad looking people are also boring. im surprised at the amount of likes, i didn't knew there were so many salty people in this channel lmao
@@dragonverde188 but our brain doesn't work like that. It uses mental heuristics and reaches conclusions based on minimum evidence. We think if a person is attractive, then they must be sweet, nice, loving and a great communicator with a fantastic life. Or if a guy is ugly or is dressed in torn and old clothes, he's probably poor, bad health, divorced, and other countless conclusions that our mind can make up. But the truth can be vastly different from how our brain perceives certain things and situations.
On average, beautiful people are going to live better lives than ugly people. People also perceive good looking people as less violent, nicer, kinder, more intelligent, and overall better people compared to ugly people.
Being a 3/10 jumping to a 5/10 is already a glow up most people can do within a budget. No one can randomly jump for 7-8 levels no matter how much money you try to spend on it.
@@rinsy1212 nah most people have the potential to be a 7/8 even from a 3 with surgery and looksmaxing. Its pretty much as long as your eyes are average you're good to go.
Go to the glow up subreddit and ask for help. Save up money for some plastic surgery, there are minimal invasive procedures that can help improve appearance
Hey bud, try looksmaxxing. You may not have good facial features but maxxing still improves your looks A LOT. What matters the most is style & haircut. You should also work out your body, improve eyebrows & skin. Fix your diet, start working out and find some great clothes that fit you well! A word of caution - dont let this turn into a mania. Be proud and find a way to love yourself as you are! - Someone who was a 3 and is now a 5, on his way to a 6-6,5.
Conventional beauty varies depending on each race and century. Yes beauty is subjective. In Africa, No one will stare twice at the stick thin high cheek-boned model chick. Except she attains status (becomes a model/ beauty queen) and even with that most successful men want women with hour glass figure. In Africa having blonde hair means nothing. Infact, you'd be seen as a non conformist or party girl. In America, any average woman who bleaches her hair blonde, looses weight and does the right face make up automatically goes up in 3x in perceived beauty. Having black skin reduces your perceived beauty in Asia and the west. So how can this man say even babies know a beautiful person. Toddlers are indoctrinated. They don't know shit.
Well I have seen people that grow up in certain types of standards have a different standard of whats attractive to them. We cant ignore that everyone will still even find those people that fit their part of the worlds standard attractive in varying ways. We all have a “type”. Babies can tell whos attractive for sure because its underlying in all of us to find at least someone in the world attractive.
@@kenjihideyori9713 I think babies arent looking at someone attractive, they're looking at who has a more pure soul. Yeah i know it sounds like some fairy tail but kids look into your eyes, the windows of the soul. My anecdotal experience confirms it
Even if every human being in the history of the world agreed that pizza was the best food, we would not say that this is an objective truth or that there is such a thing as objective tastiness. In the exact same way, just because there are consistent beliefs and attitudes regarding beauty, they are in no way objective. tl;dr: the consensus of many subjective opinions is still subjective.
0:26 yes, this is w everything financial status, race, looks etc. Ppl don't like seeing someone who they percieve as lower on the hierarchy than them having more confidence/success/praise than them. They can even punish you for it. Jealousy, envy etc. can make ppl do crazy things. Thats why I move accordingly bc I know how ppl view me in this world.
Beauty not being purely subjective is so true, its also very true for music. I've been a musician for years, the amount of times I've had a musician show me a song they've written and I've told them it is not good enough to be a hit, to which they reply music is subjective and all of that. Yes, people have different tastes, but there is a difference between a good song and a bad song. The same as someone will date an ugly person, someone may listen to a bad artist, but it doesn't take away from the fact that that person is ugly or that that artist is bad.
i was bullied as a kid for my skin condition + my teeth and when i got put on medications for it/ got braces just all of a sudden stopped. i was able to fit in and people basically just ignored the fact that i used to look the way i did. i had some severe eczema all over my body and on my face for years and in middle school it got a lot better, and i stopped getting picked on. it was so bad that i couldn't even move my face or body at times because it would just crack and bleed (my skin). also my teeth happened to be so close together they would go too forward along w the fact that i could not even chew food properly. i had really big buck teeth too so that didn't help lol. even though my appearance has changed a lot for the better, sometimes i feel the same way i did then. i was ostracized in elementary and early middle school because my condition was so bad people said i had a disease. and people would just pretend i didn't exist until my skin got better. i don't really have many friends in person but my long time online friends + my family have been my support system. they've been with me throughout the whole process of getting better and being there for me when things were bad at school. in my own experience, people did treat me differently when i looked "gross" vs now that i'm just normal. i'm 15 if that helps at all, and i've had eczema all my life. literally since i was born.
I used to weigh 300 pounds and shaved my head. It was so easy for me to get in trouble at work. You just get extra mad at a fat bald guy for any reason. I'm now 160 with shaggy 1960's hair, fitted clothes. I never get in trouble anymore. The halo effect is real.
I’m 59 years old and I’m not sure how valid this hierarchy is. Most successful people that I know or have met are not attractive, and nobody gives a damn what the attractive people think about them. You may want to rethink this one..
1) We should use the word pretty or attractive for good looks and reserve the word “beautiful” for when someone is attractive both inside and out bc this is how most ppl unconsciously use the word. 2) Don’t die on the “beauty is not subjective” hill because it really is. There may be patterns in how we select for it but ppl who don’t think a face is pretty feel just as strongly as those who do. 3) Pretty is also susceptible to group think and social proof. I’m much more likely to assume attractiveness in a person that I personally don’t find attractive if they are rated exceptional by many others (Forbes Hottest Man Alive) and question my or others judgement of them. 4) If QOVES is “ugly” then I can tolerate his position. If he is not then I cannot. 👁️
WOW I Knew Derervingness Theory Was A Thing I Just Didn’t Know The Right Name For It’s Mess Up But It Happens In Real Life All The Time But A lot Of People Don’t Like To Acknowledge & Great Video 💛❤️💙
The thing is, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is not only describing the beholder as an individual but also a society/culture. What is considered beautiful changes depending on your culture. Thinking about schema theory here, individuals are able to assimilate into societal ideas of beauty or accommodate new ideas of what is beautiful or not into their schemas. So yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder- because the beholder is not just society but also the way the individual processes and takes in societal ideas and uses them in their daily life. With this in mind, reading the comments its easy to see how westernized a lot of these discussions are, crooked teeth and fatness aren’t universally seen as ugly
The point is that there are universal rules that every opinion abides by aside from the preferences. For example: White and strait teeth. A healthy skin. A prominent jaw line. Eye canthal tilt. Sexually dimorphic traits. And symmetry ofcourse. These rules dramatically outweigh things like everybody having their own preference of hair color, therefore to say beauty is subjective is ignorant and wishful thinking.
Crooked teeth and fatness actually are seen as universally ugly, they are signs of poor health. Subjective/cultural beauty is things like whether people prefer big or small noses, thick or thin lips etc. Universal beauty standards are things we evolved to value as a way to pick out healthy mates, so clear skin, being neither too thin nor too fat, having a full head of hair, having all our teeth etc
@@hi-ve1cw nahhhh, Africans like them thick thighs, and gap tooths are considered peak cuteness. First time I ever heard someone say long legs are attractive I was in shock, not a beauty standard where I’m from at all--
it is important to know how your appearance affects the way you navigate life, and becoming more attractive can often improve your quality of life. but it is also important to note that the way things are is not necessarily the way things should be; even though it is seen as such, ugliness is not a moral failing--even if there is more you could do to improve your beauty. i think this is something we often forget. another thing is, it is easy to analyze and dissect a stranger's beauty, but when it is our own friends and family we assess, how could we possibly designate them to a level in the "beauty hierarchy"? sure, one might say it is immoral to keep the truth from others, that to lie is to harm. that may be true. but i think, deep down inside, we feel hurt regardless. it stings to know you're ugly. it stings to know your place. and yes, i think how we feel about these things matters and should not be disregarded. i don't fault anyone for avoiding the topic of attractiveness, because i know how difficult it is to address. yeah, it's bad to avoid addressing things just because they make us uncomfortable, but is it any better to paint those who struggle to confront the issue as malicious and selfish? maybe it *is* condescension. or maybe there is some conditioned desire to uphold the hierarchy acting in the shadows. but it could just as easily be empathy, sympathy, or compassion. maybe if being unattractive wasn't seen as something to condemn, we'd have less difficulty addressing it. it's only a symptom of the problem. but hey, what do i know.. morality is complex. people are complex. and i am fragile
dating someone out of your attractiveness bracket actually gives you the best experience on this one. You’re put inside this box of shame, with all your insecurities and almost never recover. This is where protectiveness coming from the parents when a girl (usually we dont mind if a boy dates a prettier girl) chooses a male partner who is far more attractive than her seems justifiable to me. The parents already know from their lived experienced of others lives that this is going to end badly.
That's not because they don't see her beauty, the discrimination is because black people are being perceived (by conditioning) to have low social status. In the country I live in I'm a minority and that's why I often get treated like I'm of low value. Attractive or unattractive.
@@NoRockinMansLand yes, there are universal beauty standards but many aren't, Monica bellucci for example is universally attractive (even if you don't find her a 10 there's no way anyone would find her straight up ugly) but there are also less objective attractiveness such as Pete Davidson or Aurora Aksnes and many others
@@majlordag1889 yeah she is conventionally attractive, and subjectively no one will say she's ugly just like Adriana Lima for example. But don't forget about all the biases that impair a person's subjective judgement of beauty, (personal preferences, racial bias, etc) and it depends on the gender too. Women will judge other women's beauty on a non-sexual basis whereas men look at women from a different angle so various things are taken into account such as sex appeal, body type, facial expressions, etc. There are many features however that are cross-culturally seen as attractive, and the world is becoming more globalized and beauty standards are simultaneously also starting to change so I guess conventional beauty standards are starting to have more merit I think
I was just thinking about this last night. I am definitely conventionally unattractive and the thing I noticed is that whenever I achieve stuffs (I kinda excel in academics and in Art) people around me just flips. Sure they act like they're supportive and all and they def grab the opportunity to brag about what I did to other people by associating themselves with me, but its not lost on me how almost everyone exudes this negative attitude towards me specially when were alone (by implied blows of insult towards my looks), or even more when I'm not around. New friends from school who starts of as extremely nice will slowly start talking shit behind my back about how ugly I am in the face. But the worst of this for me are my family actually, mom, dad, sister- who are like conventionally cute people with simps around them all the time- would always suggest that I'm not "it", specially when they see me feeling myself in the mirror lol. This video actually helped my head be clear about this, I knew they hate it when I excel but this explanation made me understand this whole thing more. God knows how many times I caught someone say "but she's not even attractive right?" or like laugh at my face in an insulting way even if I'm not doing anything. I never went around claiming to be even cute but I think I do carry myself with some dignity, I don't shy away from opportunities and give my best in everything I do, plus I'm always aware of my posture. Its really sad and I definitely have issues because of these, I never internally accepted those physical-looks related compliments, I flinch when someone touches me and I don't have a close circle of friends except my pets, I also cant see myself being in a relationship or something like that, but its just how it is I guess lo,l but Im gonna continue slaying my way to my dream career to hell that people are threatened by that.
I'm an unattractive male that doesn't meet society's beauty standards and I've been picked on by other ugly guys. I have personally experienced bullying and rejection from attractive and unattractive people.
For males being unattractive isn't that much of a disadvantage you can still have date pretty women if you are charismatic enough. Ugly men can date pretty women but ugly women can never date handsome men that's the rule .
I am conveniently “very attractive”, to the point where my entire career is based around it. And I find that it only helps me with men. Women have always been mean to me in pretty much every situation and I never understood it. I still don’t
idk maybe u are rude to women? thats why they all behave rude with u. ive many girl friends who are beautiful as f and one of them is a model but none of them faced the kind of situation u r facing, same goes for attractive dudes
Male attraction is usually only helpful/admired by other men because they set the standard, no?? Are you sure that its not who find you attractive only (i.e how men think constantly working out = attractive, but doesn’t apply to women’s perspective of men)? Women from experience take a lot more to find someone conventionally attractive and assume men have differing ulterior motives for presenting certain ways. You may be presenting a certain way that’s off putting or, you are simply just someone who’s not trusted immediately which is normal lmao
I was called ugly my entire life and i mean in every stage in my life and got married at 18 (in my culture young marriage is normal) after i got married people where so angry but luckily ive got alotof people who care about me . Confidence is key babes
I think there are good measure of objective and some subjectivity depending on the prevailing culture (ex; chubbier people of middle ages were preferred because of it signifies their wealth in the age of rampant famine)
@@dhafiansuhartono8668 lmao, my older relatives are right at the edge of being financially stable and theyre chubby. theyre not wealthy. and a lot of wealthy people are thin/ slim/ fit because they can spare, money and time to take care of their body, and my dad prefers my mom being fit rather than chubby (theyre in their 50s). everyone is different.
I'm curious of your thoughts on a person whose looks elicit very strong reactions on both ends of the scale. My looks have always been devise. I grew up ugly and then blossomed. I went from ugly to beautiful. So many people told me I was beautiful and paid attention to me it scared me and my friends. There were a few people who might say "ugly." But then I fell into this space of people telling me I was very beautiful and some saying very ugly. Extremely confusing. Beauty seems subjective with my personal experience.
I'm so glad this girl spoke what has been in my mind for years the older and uglier I got when I had genuine internal confid nice not arrogance people are only nice when I pretend to act more low value than I actually am idk how to explain it it's true but also not true
This also applies to everything else not only beauty. In art for example, when someone who isn't as skilled as you gains more following and attention you would have envy
interesting to see this as when I dress up and stand out a bit ( aka a norm violation ) I've said to myself for years that I'm too ugly to do this and I feel embarrassed, it's easy to internalise this stuff
Thank you! Beauty is a spectrum and there are certain objectively valid measures of where you are on that spectrum that are common across most cultures. For many people, there are not any options to "remedy" your lack of beauty (such as in the case of a physical deformity or disability). There are people on top of this pyramid who want to stay there and don't want to be reminded that they are on the top. Talking about this topic makes those folks very angry and defensive. I don't begrudge those above me, I want to be them, but I know I can only climb so far, and that's okay, I'm at peace with that. But I get so angry when a pretty person tells me that we're all pretty and that loving myself will make all my dreams come true. BULLSHIT! That's like a wealthy elite telling a homeless person to be grateful for what they have. You are on top, I recognize that, you should recognize that and be the one showing some gratitude for your standing. Just remember that you're in that standing because of all of us below you. "Loving yourself" or rather self-acceptance, is NOT the answer to all my problems nor will self-acceptance help me move up the ranks in terms of social standing when I still have the limitations of my looks, disabilities, cognitive traits, etc.
As I have continued to explore these topics and dig in, I have concluded that the power structure can eat a satchel of richards. Irrespective of whether or not the world thinks I need to know my place, I will define my own place instead. With or without their approval. Second, comparison is the thief of joy. The one person you should try being better than today is the person you were yesterday. Everyone else can do their own thing. Not my business and not my role to go around policing people. And therefore, the question of whether one is deserving or undeserving is rendered irrelevant for me. It will be what it be no matter what I think. Therefore, I stopped caring. That being said, the you are a product of your five closest friends is indeed quite true. As for the objective achievements thing...if two people say the sky is blue and one person has a license to talk about the sky and the other doesn't...again...I don't really care about the alleged authority as much as I care about whether or not it's true if the sky is blue. So if someone who is not you says halo effect is real (and by extension attractive privilege and unattractive tax are real) and it turns out to be true, doesn't really matter to me who said it. I agree that beauty is fairly objective but there is more than one way to constitute beauty (i.e. masculine face vs. pretty boy face). But again, when you don't care where people think you belong in the hierarchy, having no filter and violating the norm is a layup. Feeling sympathy for attractive people imo is also halo effect sorta in action. I have found though again that by not engaging in comparison, you start to empathize with everyone more. Not just those who elicit a positive knee jerk reaction. Such as people inferring attractive people have an internal beauty to match. On a personal level, I recommend trying to practice holding people accountable when they screw up no matter what they look like and praise people no matter what they look like when they do good, in the world. That's my take.
The fact that this channel thrives is proof that beauty isn't purely subjective. That being said, it's only subjective to a certain point. There is most definitely a baseline. Otherwise, we wouldn't be watching and commenting on it. Easy peasy, there's not even an argument there LOL.
Beauty is simultaneously objective and subjective and there is a huge difference between beauty and what somebody finds attractive and desirable that's why I say it makes no sense for the average woman to compare herself to a Supermodel or women in the top percentile of looks most men find different things desirable and attractive to them and my opinion you are always beautiful to somebody
Ive multiple people tell me I look like a model and some people who said I look ugly so beauty is in the eye of the beholder different folks different strokes so I don’t take it too personally.
Our looks change over time and judgement over time changes. I see a lot of great faces around me, and they’re not just conventionally attractive. I have admire conventionally beautiful people, but character matters. We can change our attitudes about what a beautiful person embodies, acknowledging physical beauty and also see it as arbitrary. We are more than our faces and bodies. There is something deeper
