Wives Respect Your Husband | Your Marriage God's Way Conference | 5th Message and Q&A 

What a blessing to read this. I hope you listen to the other messages too. God bless!

@mariebridgeforth6706 That's great to hear. Thank you for letting me know. I hope you will check out the other messages from the marriage conference. God bless!

@van8cab98 what a blessing to read this. Thank you so much for sharing!

In Jesus name bless this woman with the courage and the wisdom to do your will and to respect her husband. In Jesus name we pray amen

@nehmtgotternstjazo8926 Nice to hear from you. Thank you for letting me know. I am encouraged by your sensitivity to God’s Word. I will definitely pray for you!

@@CarterCo.Flooring Thank you so much for praying for her!

Happy Chick, I completely agree. Thank you for your humility in acknowledging this. If you have any advice for wives, please share it on this video, or the accompanying post: scottlapierre.org/what-respect-and-disrespect-look-like-to-a-husband/.

Courtney, I am blessed that my sermon ministered to you. May I also commend you for preparing for marriage. I wish more people followed your example!

Thank you for letting me know. I'm blessed the message ministered to you. Hope you'll check out the other messages from my marriage confefence.

That blesses me, thank you. I have prayed many times God uses my materials to strengthen marriages and exalt Christ. You're helping answer that prayer.

Joan, I'm sorry to hear this, but thank you for sharing this testimony. I do think there are lessons that people can learn by reading this.

Hi Joan! I just wanted to point out your dad had 100% control over how he acted wether or not he was or even felt disrespected by your mother. That is still no reason to justify adultery. Your mom was right to feel angry and hurt that she was working to provide for your family and your father undermined that with his gambling. Your mom had a real need to feel secure in the marriage and provided for financially by God through her husband. I don’t think respect is unconditional as love is. Yes you should respect their authority as husband, but they also have to BE Godly with their actions and repentant when they get it wrong.

@LukeEdwards18 thanks for letting me know. I'm blessed it ministered to you.

You are welcome. I'm blessed that the message ministered to you.

@MikeAcousticMusic thanks for letting me know. You're welcome. God bless!

You're welcome. Glad it ministered to you.

@priscillachinsembu4669 thank you for letting me know. That's a blessing. I will pray God brings the right person into your life!

Linz, thank you for letting me know. I'm blessed my sermon ministered to you.

@samanthaherbert7073 that's great to hear. Thank you for letting me know. I'm blessed that my message encouraged you in your marriage.

Yes please continue to share ❤ ty

@@samanthaherbert7073 will do. God bless!

@netseb7 you're welcome. God bless!

@ Teejourney2fit I am blessed that my teaching ministered to you. I will pray according to your prayer request that God gives you an ear to hear and a spirit to understand!

Breana, I’m blessed that my message ministered to you. Thank you for letting me know. I appreciate your humility and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit! My recent book and workbook, Your Marriage God’s Way, or released last week. If you enjoyed the video I hope you check out the book and workbook as well! Here’s the link to the book: www.amazon.com/gp/product/0736983961/. Here’s the link to the workbook: www.amazon.com/gp/product/0736983988/. Please let me know if I can pray for you in any way!

I need help. Where is this church.

@@eronhendricks-reid507Reid the church I preached this at is cornerstone Bible Church in Lake Stevens Washington, and the church I pastor is Woodland Christian Church in Woodland Washington.

Yes, well said. Your words remind me of Mark 10:8: "'The two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh."

Hello @muggaphilly2072, I hope it ministers to your wife. There are also two messages to husbands. I hope you are able to listen to those as well. God bless!

@@ScottLaPierre I will listen to them also. But I'm sure as a husband I do everything I'm supposed to do but I appreciate your response 🙏🏿

@@muggaphilly2072 We are told to love our wives as Christ loves the church. With Christ is the standard, no husband can feel as though he has arrived and doesn’t have any room to improve.

Jeff, I'm blessed that the message ministered to you.

William, nice to hear from you. I am blessed that my message ministered to you. I agree with you that it is difficult to be a godly spiritual leader in today's climate. But it is SO needed. God bless you!

Tim, I'm glad the sermon ministered to you. God bless!

Hello Rebecca, I sure appreciate your humility. I will pray for you. Thanks for asking. You sound grieved and broken over the way you have disrespected your husband. Have you apologized to him and asked for his forgiveness? In September my Christian marriage book and workbook, Your Marriage God's Way, were published by Harvest House. Do you have copies of them by chance? If not, would you consider purchasing copies and going through the book and workbook together with your husband? You should easily be able to find them on Amazon. If money is an issue, please let me know and I will give you a free copy of each.

Michelley, Thank you for sharing this humble testimony. You are correct that when it comes to respect it is not what the wife claims, but how the husband feels. Similarly, when it comes to a husband loving his wife, it is not an issue of what the husband claims, but how the wife feels. I think it is very important that husbands learn their wives, and wives learn their husbands. Wives must know (as you were sharing about your marriage) how a husband feels respected. Similarly, husbands must know how their wives feel loved and cared for as 1 Peter 3:7 commands. I hope you will listen to the other for marriage messages and let me know your thoughts. I will also pray for your upcoming union. What is the name of your conservative church, if you don't mind me asking?

@djbb4322 I appreciate your sensitivity to God's word and desire to apply it to your marriage!

@deniseturner5506 thank you for the feedback. I'm blessed it ministered to you. This message is one of the chapters in my book, Your Marriage God's Way: amzn.to/3IPSfsr Please let me know if you need anything else. God bless!

But I will do my best to do better within myself 1st

@Chris-wb7wf I am sorry to hear that. It's better you found that out now than later.

@@Chris-wb7wf I think you mean you will focus on growing? If so, that's great.

I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you mean. Can you please elaborate?

@mariduplessis6895 I don't know. I do know it looks like there are much less divorces in the world, versus in the church, because many people don't get married. They lived together and then simply break up. Perhaps one reason is that Christian marriages face more temptation and spiritual attacks than worldly marriages. I do think that childhood trauma can affect us when we are adults, including in our marriages. If that has been an issue I would encourage you to get counsel from your elders.

@@ScottLaPierrethanks for your reply….But what if it is only one party that believes in counceling …..? It makes it difficult….

@@mariduplessis6895 Yes, I'm sorry, that would make counseling difficult. But I would still recommend counseling for the one person who will meet. Perhaps the counseling can help that person be married to someone who refuses to get counseling.

@angelaroberts3563, thanks for sharing your thoughts. Can you explain why you feel that way?

@brycechadwick7259 here are links to them. The book: amzn.to/3CeAwrI (37% off!) and workbook: amzn.to/3Qc96IH.

@@ScottLaPierre Thank you sir. I really appreciate it.

Also may i ask for prayer? That I can stay humble and listen to the Lord and what he is teaching me? And that i can put those teaching into action the rest of my life.

@@Overworkedandunderpaid you're welcome!

@@Overworkedandunderpaid absolutely. Why don't you shoot me a message through my contact page: www.scottlapierre.org/contact/.

@danibeginnernailtech8336, No, it definitely involves more than that. Please see this video I preached about husbands loving their wives: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-9C5IgzTNu1c.html. Or read this post: www.scottlapierre.org/husbands-love-your-wives/.

Well said. I have a post on this: www.scottlapierre.org/win-your-husband-without-a-word/.

@territory7153 I'm sorry, I don't think I completely understand your comment, but it sounds like you're going to forgive is based on our Lord's command to do so (7x70 times). I will pray for you!

@@ScottLaPierre thank you . Yes I’m going through a lot with forgiveness. I’ve been saved on Feb this year and I’m experiencing some terrible test from my loved ones .

@@territory7153@territory7153 Forgiveness is hard no matter how long you have been a Christian! I appreciate your commitment to do what's right before the Lord so early in your walk.

@@ScottLaPierre yes I am and I will that’s the lords will. You see man of God . I’m a Jamaican that got married from 25 years old migrated to USA with my school boyfriend. He has alway been very strong and demanding for respect learning that his mom abandoned him from age 2 . I’m a cancer survivor stage 4 it’s been 14 years marriage and I have know him since we are 16 . He has not changed I try talking to family they shunned me So I turn to the lord and baptized myself and the 2 kids waiting on the lord to show me the way pastor. Im patient it’s apart of my test like the book of job. Pray for us

@@territory7153 I’m sorry to hear about some of the things you have experienced. I am glad, as you said, you turned to the Lord. I hope you believe he has given you the strength you need. I will pray for you. I would also like to encourage you to read this post I wrote. You can also download the audio of the chapter from my book to listen to it: www.scottlapierre.org/win-your-husband-without-a-word/

Hello @jefftube58, You are correct. And I have heard many husbands say something similar: "I will love my wife when she deserves it." The commands for husbands and wives are not conditional. There is no "If" in either command. It does not say, "Husbands love your wives if…" or "Wives respect to your husbands if…"

Hi Stephanie, Good question! A couple thoughts. This message is primarily for wives. I have two other messages for husbands: A Husband’s Love (ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-9C5IgzTNu1c.html) and How Husbands Should Treat Their Wives (ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-h5JqpMHZKQI.html). Those are the second and fourth messages I deliver at Marriage God’s Way Conferences. I deliberately put them before the two messages for wives (the third and fifth messages) to make the teaching on submission and respect easier for wives to receive. Even though that’s the case, in this message I directly address the husbands in Lesson 5 and tell them how important it is to make respecting them easier for their wives. I tell them how sin - such as the ones you listed, as well as pornography - make it very difficult for wives to respect their husbands. Regarding your actual question: how do you confront this behavior respectfully? To try to give you a concise answer, here are a few encouragements: 1. Before you confront your husband, first pray that God will give him a humble, receptive, teachable heart. 2. Confront him, but try to make some deposits along with your withdrawals. Find some commendable things about your husband and share those with him. 3. This is the toughest part: if your husband doesn’t respond well - and he might not - don’t keep confronting him. Otherwise you’ll be nagging, which will cause him to dig in his heels even more. If you respond in a godly way so that he can see Christ through you, that will convict him more than further confronting. At that point you have to turn it over to the Holy Spirit. Your question is the main reason I tell single ladies to be so careful who they marry.

@@ScottLaPierre Ive tried to confront, it's definitely being taken as nagging at this point. My heart wants to respect him and wants to show him the love of Christ, I just dont know how to apply these teachings when I feel so used and unsafe. He is not saved but says hes Catholic. We live completely seperate lives. I have started counciling and he refuses to join me. My family says Ive married unequally and I am responcible to love him to Christ. But my pastor and councilor say Im being abused. I'm so striving to love him, wanting to be pleasing to God. But I am so struggling on how to apply the in situations that feel so unsafe. I'd really appreciate prayers. Thank you

@@stephaniepalazzo5634, I appreciate your humility in recognizing you’ve started nagging him. I believe you do want to respect him, and in this message I talk about wives who are in your position. God has put in women a desire to have a man to look up to who leads well and is a good representative of Christ. If your husband isn’t saved, then your situation might be harder, but it’s more straightforward. While there are different issues in his life, the MAIN issue is he’s unregenerate. Even if you could get him to stop a certain sin, if he goes to hell, what did that really accomplish? You need to pray for his salvation and strive to “win him over” as 1 Peter 3:1-2 instructs, “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.” If you haven’t listened to my sermon on wives submitting to their husbands, I hope you will: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-qJ25Eup-xMI.html. I will definitely pray for you. I’m glad you’re going to your pastor and seeking counseling. Perhaps your pastor or one of the elders in the church could try to develop a relationship with your husband. Go out to coffee with him. Get to know him. Then God can use that man in his life.

@@ScottLaPierre Ive tried to confront, it's definitely being taken as nagging at this point, we have talks and come to mutual agreements and usually with 48 hours hes not respecting the agreements and becomes very resentful. If he has to sacrifice time money or pleasure of any sort hes unwiling. My heart wants to respect him and wants to show him the love of Christ, I just dont know how to apply these teachings when I feel so used and unsafe. He is requesting me to do things like sign large loan amounts to start businesses w men that have sexually assaulted me. And he wants to keep me out of all personal accounts. My family says do it, to win him over.. and if I do it, God will protect me ( I feel this is so wrong ) I'm told Im believing lies and Im not seeing things right. We live completely seperate lives. I have started counciling and he refuses to join me. My family and a few other Godly women I know say, Ive married unequally and I am responcible to love him to Christ. But my pastor and councilor say Im being abused. I'm so striving to love him, wanting to be pleasing to God, so worried I will disappoint God, and Im desperate to hear Gods voice on the matter. I am so struggling on how to apply respect in situations that feel so unsafe. I'd really appreciate prayers. Thank you

@@stephaniepalazzo5634 listen to your Pastor. There's a difference between loving people to Christ and when there is abuse.

Julie, the church is Cornerstone Bible in Lake Stevens, and the church I pastor is Woodland Christian Church in Woodland, WA.

Hello @kbt5702, I'm very sorry to hear this. Could you pursue him? We have met with two couples who divorced but then reconciled.

@@ScottLaPierre I have been through so much with him over the years. I have no desire to reconnect with him. I’ll always love him though

@@kbt57025702 how can you say you love him if you won't reconnect with him? Also, what do you think the Lord would have you do?

@@ScottLaPierre he has been diagnosed as an covert narcissist. He emotionally, verbally, destroyed me. Separated me from my friends and family. I’m trying to rebuild my life. I have Christ beside me all the way. Most don’t understand the damage some people can do to you slowly over years. It’s very sad. I still pray for him everyday

@@kbt5702 Okay. I'm sad to hear this, but thank you for letting me know.

Scott, Thank you for watching the message, commenting, and sharing your financial advice. God bless!.

Yes, this is also a great sense of security for us women because so many things come up… we have a need to refill our feminine energy by feeling good about looking good for our men (variety clothes/shoes/undies)- we feel a refill if we buy pretty things, create a cozy home to buy flowers, candles, perfume. We can be moody and don’t know why… especially if our lives don’t reflect the joy we have in our hearts. A zero balance can cause cause so many scary and sad emotions. Every women has a cap each year….. I feel great when I can spend about 12k on birthdays, Christmas my little shopping sprees….work out outfits and shoes 😅❤🙏🏽

Hi Terry, Since all husbands are sinners, no husbands deserve respect. Similarly, since all wives are sinners, no wives deserve to be loved. But Jesus deserves our respect and love; therefore, wives respect their husbands and husbands love their wives because of their relationships - not with their spouses - but with Christ. We love and respect our spouse, not because of what our spouse has done for us, but because of what Jesus has done for us. If you don’t mind me asking, why would you marry a husband who acted this way? Yes, you should stay single or reconcile with your husband as Paul said, because remarrying would be committing adultery as Jesus said.

@@ScottLaPierre , he actively decieved me for 4 years. I was at a time in my life God was dealing with me about going to church. He asked me out and I denied him because he drank. He later came back said he quit, started attending church services with me here and there. I thought he was supporting me but in reality he was driving me farther from God. It's very important to understand that I came out of an extremely abusive home. Sexually, verbally, physically , emotionally and spiritually. I had no clue what love was and this guy who all the girls I worked with were jealous of me. All his friends were talking him up and saying how he didnt drink anymore and he treated me good. Well what I didbt understand was that just because someone doesnt hit, cuss you out or hold a gun to you head and threaten to kill you ,doent mean they are a good guy. He had good credit and was a hard worker I dated him 4 years, the sweet natured guy started laughing the day after our marriage and said well I tricked you, I never stopped drinking, now you are stuck with me. He knew even me being unsaved ih didnt believe in divorce. So 2 years later I am saved , filled with the holy spirit and still married to him. Doing what I feel what I am required to do. The guy with the good credit suddenly accumulated over 20,000 in dept. Started a band with friends and was a closet alcoholic. We had a child because of a bad decisions I let it happen because you know I have to submit. Now he is unhappier than ever stays away longer, and it just goes downhill from there. I prayed for him, I fasted got him. So many times. Actually I still do, but I dont love him. Over the 12 years I asked God to let me leave, God said no, he told me to stay. I am still paying for this horror of a mistake from my youth . I stayed he finally left us for another woman. He wanted to come back after she dumped him. I told him we would have to go to marriage counseling and he would have to seek help for his drinking. The man I would have given anything to looked me dead in the eye and told me I wasnt worth it. The man I adired set off a nuclear bomb in my heart and murdered me in every way possible. I dont hate him, I'm a very forgiving person. I am now working 6 to 7 days,a,week to provide for my children. But I can say they have a very stable home, God has provided for us, there is love in our walls. They know that mom is going to sacrifice anything she can for them. The bad side is they resent their father. I never saus,a bad word but they watched. They saw. They know he doesnt help financially or emotionally . They watch as he bought a 46,000 car and have a much younger gf and then they see me do without so they can have. It's sad, It kills me yo see them not even like their dad. It hurts to see them suffer because a hurt wounded young lady thought she found a good man and made the worst mistake that will follow her to the grave and they are rhe hostages in this scenario

Hello again@@terryvest640, I’ve heard from quite a few angry people - usually wives - who trash their spouse. The worst they make their husband or wife sound, the more I think, “Then why did you marry someone who’s so terrible?” First Peter 3:1-2 says, “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.” If your husband is as terrible as you say, and I’m not denying that He is (although Scripture says to hear both sides before coming to a conclusion), then it’s more reason for you to pray for his salvation and win him to Christ through your behavior and conduct. Let him see Christ through you. If it hasn’t worked for four years, then try for five years. Maybe you’ll have to try for your whole life which is what you committed to do when you married him. You swore to God before witnesses that you would love him and stay with him through good and bad. If you have a child (or children) you have even more reason to do the above. It’s not just about you, it’s also about your child.

@@ScottLaPierre actually I am not angry. I didnt give up. It's been 8 years since he left, 4 since he divorced me. I have remained faithful I watch him go from woman to woman. He remarried, I was good to her, I bought her children Christmas presents. Just because she was good yo my children. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do was accept her in my children's life. she left him after a year of marriage because of how he treated her. Who did he call? Me, did I feel bad for him ? Yes I prayed for him, I talked to him for over an hour. It's not my heart that is the issue, I shoulder the entire weight of my responsibilities and mine. I have forgiven and pray and fast. Yes I made a vow but the issue is i entered into a covenant with a person who had no intention of keeping the covenant. I made a vow to a person who was a lie and not even real. Yet , I am the one being punished,I am the one who is tormented day and night. I am the one in therapy because of the effects. You can say I dont trust God, in reality unless you go through this you have no clue how much pain, how much faith and how much damage is done. I am not angry, I am a wounded person who keeps getting told his sins are my burden, his deception is my curse. I am a cursed woman with no way out. But yet I asked him last night if he felt if I disrespected him in our marriage his answer was . Well a couple of times but I never saw it as an issue at all. It wasnt anything that hurt. See I am open I want him to find salvation, but honestly I think If Hod told me to take him back I would grieve. I would do but it would kill me. Some people dont chang , they wont change. He is my curse, I am a cursed woman because a man who lied about who he was, what he believed and had no intention of keeping a commitment, had no intention of being a husband, who inexcusable and intentionally lied and schemed for years to get a woman who would dedicate her life to him ....... and it's a game to him. He has no love , he has no compassion and STILL I am loyal. And all I gain is more pain, more wounds, more stress, more hell . I get judgment but no support, no prayer, no one to stand up and say I've got your back. Judge me for being tired, it's cool but remember even God said he wouldn't strive forever with men. I'm not looking for a loophole I'm Just so tired, I'm so weary of doing my part and am ordered to honor a man who intentionally does anything he can to hurt and wounds. You think I am trashing his name and that's disrespectful, I'm tired of suffering in silence, if I hide his sins and put him up on a pedestal and treat him like he is the best man in the world how will he ever see them or even care? I am merely supporting his idea that he can do anything he wants eith no repercussions, no consequences and no conflict why because he is a god and I am bound to him to do his will. IF GE DOES FIND GOD I WILL REJOICE, BUT NO THERECIS NO RECONCILIATION THERE. I havent told him , I've never mentioned it but no . I'm strong enough to live in hell so that he might be saved, I'm strong enough to remain faithful, I'm strong enough to go through counsling and work the rest of my life to heal because that's what it is going to take, I'm strong enough to fast for him, and recognize his accomplishments. I'm not strong enough to give him those knives back, I'm not strong enough to trust his intentions with my heart. I hope he finds happiness and peace and I will always be in his corner but I will not be able to be by his side. Reconciliation is not an option .

Hi again@@terryvest640, I’m sure that was very difficult, and I’m really sorry you had to go through it. I’m glad you were still kind to him even if he was unkind to you so he could see Christ through you. The reason I thought you were angry was that I’ve heard you say many bad things about your husband, but I haven’t heard you say anything about yourself, except for good things. In other words, I haven’t heard you take any responsibility. This is usually a sign of anger. Even if your husband is more at fault, rare is the situation that doesn’t involve fault on both sides. You’re right that I don’t know. I was simply trying to respond to your comment and share with you what God’s Word says. I’m not sure what else I could do? Perhaps just tell you how sorry I am? If you’re in Christ then He took the judgment you deserve. He intercedes for you and stands up for you and is there for you. You need to look to Him. You said reconciliation is not an option, which is sad, because 1 Cor 7 commands you to reconcile.

Mutaul respect. I want my husband

I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you're saying?

@@paulebercollinscook6173 again, I'm confused. Sorry.