but note: in the dating market you are always competing against the top, not against the bottom. it doesnt matter if the bottom is worse then ever, the bottom is not your competition
The point was that the top is not densely populated. A matter of NUMBERS, not the fact that there are variations and you might not be in the tippy-top of the top.
@@juliend9495this is actually a valid point.. the top 10% of guys are pulling 90% of women. These guys typically have girls on rotation, and once the girls figure out the guy won’t commit and end up leaving, the guy will rotate in a new girl..and the cycle repeats. I consider myself a good looking dude with a good income, but I’m also not making millions of dollars and over 6ft, so I’m directly competing with that sub-group of men.
@@Mew2Win I’m all for self improvement and looksmaxxing, but looksmaxxing only works for men with a base to work on, some men are just so physically repulsive, no amount of self work will make them attractive to vvomen.
After a decade of complacency, for the last 2 months I've been restricting calories, meditating, studying stoicism, and lifting weights 4x a week. I've lost 10 lbs of fat and the satisfaction I feel at the end of the day after committing to a few simple daily tasks has been eye opening. For the first time in a while I'm excited for my future. I hope anyone reading this who is in a similar position can push themselves just a little bit, just so you can see that a little discipline and consistency can take you a really long way. Good luck.
@@renjiaow3742 dont set the bar too high, make sure your goals are achievable. dont let a bad day throw you off. success is not a straight line to the top, theres gonna be bumps. keep goin
Some useful info here. What I will add, in my humble opinion as a late-50s married man: males tend to focus on the 'data points' of attraction, meaning height/build/money/status. Women consider those things, but they focus almost as much, if not more, on the subtle things, like confidence, body language, tone of voice and how you make them 'feel.' It's the Male Gaze vs Female Gaze thing. Don't ignore building yourself up in all the ways that you can.....but never forget that the average woman sense & responds to more intangibles than the average male.
I think thats the reason why men actually let themselves go a lot of the time. They lose interest in the dating pool and let themselves go because "Why would I appear nice and all that when there is no marker" and by doing so though they repulse those women that could have been their soulmates which is kinda heartbreaking :(
Man I could`ve never imagined how handsome I really am until I got down to 10ish percent BF, building a noticable/ athletic physique and THEN finding + cultivating my self worth/ love, taking extra care of myself by dressing sharp/ fitted clothes, having a skincare routine, grooming and smelling nice all the time and also being physically active every day turned my whole life upside down and put me in a beautiful spot in life- guys let me tell you, you all can make it in life with time, effort and having a mindset of ,,I want to be excellent in all aspects of life"
“Having a skincare routine” is about the most 2024 sentence Hygiene is great. How this became a breakthrough landmark achievement in the past year is confusing AF. Congrats bro 😎
Stop lying to yourselves men are designed to spread our seed we do almost everything for women. We literally civilized the entire world largely for women.
Let's focus on ourselves my brothers. Focus on goals and making something out of ourselves. To get better everyday. Be there for your real friends and family. One step at a time. You matter. I appreciate all of you 🙏🏽
As a 50 year old man in shape, I must agree with you on this one. Too many guys live in comfort. No gym, no style, no discipline, no drive, no self improvement, no social skills, no respect from women. On the other hand, dating younger women in their 20s has become more easier than ever for older men in my space. We gotta do better fellas. We gotta be better. Another great message Danny! 💯
Wrong. You're not competing with other dudes in the real world but with the imaginary tiktok instagram lifestyle inspired highly idealized boyfriend in her head
I've noticed men can be very concerned with the idea of a "better man", real or in this case imagined, competing and winning against them. It sounds like a very difficult reality.
I have begun my training journey. I was 28% BF now I am 22% and I am loving it. I even asked a girl out in the gym and it was easy. We didn't click but I didn't care. Because I was just happy.
@@stevelubs well It's not the best reading because its a machine. They have in my gym. However, I train 5 to 6 days a week. Muscle training and started doing boxing, and running. But my diet is also strict. Just over 2 months
I'm 34 now trying to put on mass I'm 6ft and 4 years ago I was at 128lbs and 10lb weights were heavy. Ive always been super skinny and super weak i dont like junk food cause i think it tastes like shit compared to what i can make and i prefer low cal foods like my breakfast will be 3 eggs and black coffee for lunch ill have 2 tilapia fillets i made that morning with some steamed green beans and some sliced carrots and an orange. For dinner ill make a 4oz steak and some mashed potatos. I always have water or black coffee as a beverage. Basicly my daily calorie intake was only 1500 to 1600 average I had to double the calories i was eating adding alot more rice and beans to eat enough calories to bulk up. I'm now at 160lbs 12%bf. I'm trying to be 175 to 180 with 10to 12% bf and I'll be happy.
That's nice, but the problem isn't that im not cultivating "greatness" in my self, it's that other people aren't recognizing what is great about me. You can work on yourself all you want, but if nobody else recognizes or acknowledges it then it is meaningless.
Crazy how the content is so how quality from the video to the information. Could have sworn this guy had atleast half a million subs. Keep up the good work
@@lusitanus6504And do what? Go to Asia for a week, go on a date and come back home? That's pointless. Not all of us can just up and move to the Philippines.
The problem is that the pool of quality women grows smaller as well, so you still have to outperform a small minority of men competing over a small portion of women.
@@donh1572 Maybe if you don't mind damaged goods. It's worth grinding for yourself but leveling up for women is like putting in effort for a second-rate prize. Also, if it were so easy why would there be costless content creators and guides on how to get women?
@@grandfathernurgle2840 I miscommunicated. What I should have said is that dating good women is easier then ever. Technology allows you to learn relationships skills, flirting skills, and find higher quality women through a much larger network then we ever had in the past few decades
Putting in the work on yourself (working out, dressing better, and having social intelligence) over time is a force multiplier. Your competitors don’t exist when you’re leveling up in life and they aren’t.
Most women, if they can't get a top 10 percenter, prefer to be alone. You might work your ass off to raise your attractiveness by a few points (and you will make your life better for its own sake) but if you go from a 5 to an 8, you're still not good enough. No one wants this to be true, but it is.
Problem with delusional standards is there is no ceiling. What happens in 10 years when even 6'1 models aren't hot enough anymore? It's like the slow gun control going on in the US now. Guns will eventually be banned through incremental tiny laws. Women's standards won't stay at their current level of only wanting top 10% men. It'll be top 5% then top 3%, etc. No one seems to be talking about this.
True, but I think it extends out to the top 20% of men if you factor in looks, money, and status all together. Also, if you're a true 8 as a guy then you absolutely fall into the top 10% of men out there.
Women rate most men as below average in attractiveness. Only when u reach a certain threshold in looks like 8+ will u actually see the other side of women!
Im a 21 year old guy, When i go grocery shopping, i look round me and realize how feminine guys are. Cant even look at me when i talk to them to ask a simple question. They dont stand up straight, they're shy and lack social skills and have horrible vocabulary. I dont hit on women, but i occasionally like to practice my social skills and purposefully ask women random questions, regardless of if they're my age or older, beautiful or not. They act feminine around me and are almost caught off guard when i talk to them. It is not that they are attracted to me, but by carrying myself with respect and by treating them with respect, they act kind and feminine towards me. Im sure they rarely encounter that in men nowadays, a guy who is able to look them in the eyes and hold a SIMPLE conversation, especially considering how very very few men approach women. Im not by any means a chad, i simply carry myself with the correct mindset and act like a man with a backbone. I was raised in a traditional household with REAL men, im very thankful for that.
I'm 30 and in college and I have seen girls with nerdy small guys who are funny. This idea of the "dating market" ONLY applies to dating apps... not real life interactions at events, hobbies or campuses you might go to. Also, if you want to stand out as a man don't date, court those who share your values. Christians stick with christians and atheist with atheist. Trust me, i had 5 previous relationships, don't entertain women outside your own beliefs.
The problem with this is that it makes perfect sense, and imbues a man with a mentality that if he works hard to improve himself, gets into great shape, builds his confidence, develops his charisma and social skills, and overall makes himself more attractive, that he WILL get results. And for most men who are living life on "Normal" mode, doing these things will indeed yield incredible results. But, if you're one of the unfortunate men living life on "Nightmare" mode, you can successfully do all of these, but still get nothing but rejection and disinterest. For those few unfortunate men, not only will you not get the results you deserve, but you'll also be in a very lonely category of men where no one believes or understands you, and you'll find yourself wishing you'd never worked to improve yourself, because at least back then you knew why you got the poor results you did.
Why are you trying to refute every talking point men online are suggesting is a source of difficulty? Not willing to acknowledge that maybe there is a degree of truth there? The competition is most definitely real or we’d have the woman of our dreams, since most of us have at least a handful of times been rejected by her. I’ve done tireless self improvement and I’m decent looking have do have some of the 6,6,6s but it’s still an uphill battle man. You’re fighting time, aging, and responsibilities as well as competing in society for good jobs, attractive mates and so on. It’s a huge undertaking and you talking about it so nonchalantly is disengenuous. Some men are naturally gifted with women but the majority of us struggle and the modern dynamics have made it all the tougher
It's a cope channel and it works, cause majority of men want to believe bs. If it wasn't cope, this guy would be swimming in pushy, but we haven't seen any girls yet.
In the Bible there is verse. That in end times Everyone gonna offer their solutions. But the problem is much deeper. Sadly all. Christians know exactly that we live in end times. Only people following God's commands will live. Guys. Youre not being weak. Its the world Goin mad. Girls don't act normal. Pray to God. And keep yourselves safe. The world is colapsing. Amen.
I agree with you 100%. I am not a wealthy guy, but I lost weight put on muscle and I am dating very beautiful women with genuine interest/ just working out sets me aside from many other men and looking fit. Thank you for this video ; more men need to get that message.
Depends on your age and how physically attractive you are. You can be in good shape and have successful job and good character and values and still be ugly or too old.
Thank you for saying this... it's so annoying looking at a lot of men just complain about how they're doomed to fail in dating because of XYZ... I don't see it that way at all. I think the outlook has never been easier to be the man you want to be and find someone when dating. A big part of it is just logistics, but the other part is making sure you are doing everything you can to be your best self. Not for someone else, but for yourself. I think you're right on with this video. There's so much opportunity to be a step above others. You just gotta work.
I'm seeing guys discounting the points made in this video by saying that the competition is with the top guys. True. However, the top guys simply don't have the time to pursue all the opportunities. They typically don't get to be top guys by having an abundance of free time to put towards dating. Not to mention, many of the top guys are locked down in relationships. There are surprisingly few top guys in the dating market at any time. Even if all the women feel entitled to that top 2% guy, most of the women won't get their shot, and they will relax their standards a little. That puts the guys who are not blessed, but are trying (the type talked about in the video) well into contention. I can speak from experience. I've spent more of my adult years in relationships by a wide margin. Last time I was single and dating was 2015. For some context, I did win the height lottery, so I do have a bit of an advantage. Everything else was just putting in the time. I get to the gym regularly, but I'm far from the hottest guy at the beach in the summer. I'm into the 6-figure income category, after years of hard work. I don't live a flashy lifestyle, but I can pay for what comes up in life. I am educated and can hold conversation with most people, but I'm not a huge social life type. How did I do at the dating game? Like I said above, I didn't have enough free hours in the day to pursue all the opportunity I had. I sat down one day and realized I had enough women in my orbit that I could text any one of a dozen plus women and schedule time together within the next 24 hours. Literally. And that was without day game, hanging out in clubs, really anything but a little dating app time and just meeting people as I went about my day. None of these women were overweight or sporting the woke look. Many were genuine nice girls. The majority were a LOT younger than I was, and not a single mom in the bunch. No supermodels, but a handful of solid 8's. Not the "ideal woman" but more than suitable for dating and LTR. In short, I didn't feel deprived at all. Yes, the height helps. You have it or you don't. I get that. BUT, so much of the rest of it is just putting in the work. Also... I enjoyed the abundance for a time. HOWEVER, I learned quickly that it gets old fast. I would much prefer one great woman to spend my life with, over an endless stream of new girls. For those of you guys pursuing endless novelty, you want want to take my word for it and trust that it isn't as great as you may be losing sleep thinking about. Become the best version of yourself, then find your equivalent in a woman and build on that.
Some of this is easier said than done. Making six figures is not something most men will ever be able to do. The average man making six figures works an unhealthy work schedule of 60-70+ hours a week and is too tired to do anything else after work. Men who work 60-70 hour weeks to make six figures are in careers known for high divorce rates because they are married to their jobs and not their wives. It is hard to practice self care when all you do is work. And in America, you can’t really afford your own place unless you make $80k+ a year. Maybe making $150k a year while still having a work-life balance is achievable if you are white and from all well connected family. And sometimes you might be killing it in one area while extremely lacking in another. Everybody who knows me tells me I’m the best dressed. But I go into the thrift store and come out looking better than most people. Because you really can’t buy style at the end of the day. That’s why these new age sneakerheads, hypebeasts and fake-rich “I only wear designer” guys still don’t look stylish. And sometimes, you gain excellence at the expense of losing vital resources. For example, I lost 15+ lbs because my car broke down last year. Now I’m in the best shape ever because I walk at least 2 miles a day out of necessity. You need a car in most places, but car culture is part of what drives obesity. Bad food and sedentary jobs also drive obesity, but these things are the norm. Also, you actually have time to get adequate sleep and eat full meals when you aren’t working 60-70+ hour weeks in a job where the culture is to never take breaks. In modern America, it is very hard to be fully self-supporting financially and still have a work-life balance that allows time for self care and free time to meet women let alone date. And this is not taking into account the absurd amount of brutal demoralizing rejection you will face before landing a single date let alone a healthy relationship which is incongruent to the shallow hookup culture that permeates the American dating scene.
@@UknownAfrican Trying to become the top 5% to appeal to women justifies average women's Inflated standards. If a woman doesn't want you for you she ain't for you. Someone "better" will always come along. I'm 6', I've had six figure jobs. I've looked good on paper. Dealing with modern American women is a headache. Too many love drama and head games and look at relationships as purely transactional. If you are self improving just to appeal to them, you've already lost buddy.
@@frisconianlove5568 fruit salad and people like him don't ever point out how insane and illogical their completely anecdotal advice is. If you don't "make it" you just didnt "work hard enough" Not understanding that these jobs are a hyper minority most people won't achieve that their whole lives. They don't understand how flakey new women are they will NOT hold it down for mr. 150k a year because mr. 170k is already trying to get with her. Its an endless cycle of chasing the billionaire bag. They want to grind till dust when you could have been doing less productive but more important things (to you). Sad existence.
solid points man. really like the general message and can attest. you dont shit where you eat..but women at my workplace are drooling over me. always was invisible. 5 years of consistent work sure paid off. just keep at it guys and stay the course
Very strong and valid video Danny. At 49, never married, no kids. Own home, cars and lots of hobbies. Great career of 31 years. I'm very much in shape and very happy with life where it is right now. One thing you mentioned is how feminized young men are in this day and age. It's true. During my day to day, I meet a ton of people and it's obvious everywhere. I was brought up by a very masculine father and a feminine mother. I was taught how to look after myself and deal with the pressures of life, no matter how hard it gets. There is always something that can be done. Girls much younger than I, are taking a keen interest and I'm not going to lie it's rather nice being able to talk with women that aren't jaded, bitter and lets face it....broken. To the men out there.. *ALWAYS* put yourself as #1. Work on yourself, physically, emotionally and socially. Things fall into place much easier. Being lazy is not a good way of life.
Hi there, I don’t normally do this but I thought you might like a woman’s point of view, for someone who’s been there, I lived, loved& lost. your advice seems great & right on. Feminized men in today’s world! U R a true find. Stay this way, the beautiful, caring smart woman you want is out there. 🤭✌️🦋
Part of the problem of men not taking action is we have too much information. There are 100's if not 1000's of channels such as yourself dishing out advice. The questiuon is who do we listen to? you are profess to know what your talking about and you all have something to sell so is it any wonder with so much information we end up doing nothing. Paralysis by analysis.
You sir you are good 👏🏾 I’ve been listening to a lot of men’s self improvement personalities that express similar ideas as you but none are as well put together and well expressed as you are. Please continue making this content it helps a lot
Yeah it might but you’ll be attracting the wrong ones. They won’t be genuine women with real connections. God forbid you get a women who steals all of your bank account info and robs your house.
THANK YOU…. For mentioning the reality of the fact that most of us aren’t living in Miami and Dubai living as millionaires. Every other person in the man space forgets to mention that
It's all the "be yourself crap" being pushed in movies etc that allow people to let themselves go. Be your best self, and if you're not there yet, then put the work in, make the change. *I am one to speak💔, need a lot of changing myself*
Danny I want to thank you for your content. You give so much clarity and value for a lot of young men out there. I wish you much success in what you are doing. Greetings from Germany!
The "competition" is NOT the Basic Bob. It is the TOP 1% of men (it WAS 20%, then top 5%. New dating app data shows the top 1% get matches). THAT is the competition for QUALITY, LONG TERM MARRIAGES. Even if men DO improve, there will ALWAYS be the TOP 1%. If a man makes it to the top, then a man MUST FALL. Even IF the man makes it to the top, unless he gets his passport, the quality of women is a race to the bottom. The man has to work 10x harder for 1/10th the quality. With the "f@t shaming," "s1ut shaming, etc," the women don't have to self improve.
Idk fellas ive never been shy and have dated hot chicks when i was fat. I make good money but honestly it hasnt helped at all. The main difference ive seen was when i was a super low body fat did help. The thing that helped is approaching alot and being social in general. Dating apps have been horrible but in person is great and always have been able to punch above my weight class
What a load of BS. I workout 6x per day, fully visible six pack, descent amount of muscle, dress stylish, full set of hair, good earnings and yet when I approach women with high confidence they look at me like a creep. So stop gaslighting people. Women don't appreciate us average looking men approaching them because they have 20 guys like you spamming their DM's
I haven't dated in almost 10 years for a variety of reasons. I'm 34 now and since entering the work force I managed to put away 30 grand of disposable income to get surgery on a major insecurity I have regarding my size. I often say if I was bigger I would put myself out there more. I'm now in the position to risk it and hopefully increase my small/average size to something that makes me confident and happy. Wish me luck!
Wow, what a powerful presentation and perspective. All we hear about today is how we need to be rich, over 6' tall, etc. We have to stay grounded in reality, and we have control over a lot of these aspects of our attractiveness. Thanks for posting this.
I do not get it. I am 1.9m, have a salary of 100k+ with 80 precent work, and climb, swim, run and read. And doing a Master while working 80 precent. I am 29 and i am single....
As you get older its all about good consistant habits. Eat, Train , Sleep, practice delayed graitification and be humble, The boring stuff and not many men want to do it.
As an average guy I've got to say it's possible to create a high value profile, it will land you dates, but you won't be able to settle with your ideal
Youre telling me you just need to be fit, dress nice, have a decent job and a funny, approachable personality?? Well ive been done that for years. Still zero attention from women and endless rejections. Difference is im not white or 6’
Based purely on your response, I know you don’t have a personality attractive to women. What does being white have to do with it? I’m not white and the majority of women I date don’t find white men attractive. You need stop focusing on women who don’t want you.
I talked to a girl in class, she was twenty. I was thirty-three, got out of the military and went back to college at the time. She had the audacity to tell me that making six figures was not a lot of money. I almost fell out of my chair. Tiktok has obliterated young girls brains, its sad.
The competition on dating market has never been higher. And grows exponentially. Simply because nowadays you're competing with all chads in the radius of 60 km for every average-looking chick. Whereas your father had to compete only with her social circle. Actually, you have 100 times less chances than your father. Regardless of your fit, status or money because she always has a guy with better fit, status and money just in her tinder. And don't buy the bullshit about "be better that 90% of population": jut to start having any options you should be not in top10 but in top1. It doesn't mean that self-improvement is pointless. It is just not for dating, it"s for yourself.
Im in miami trying to date models 😢 Im 6'2 200lbs, handsome, in great shape, own condo on the water with dock and boat, 120k salary with remote job and still cant land a gf... i only get casual relationships that last only 2 months on average. The women i do usually date are extremely attractive
Men looking for relationships are the exact type of men women DO NOT want. If you truly want a fulfilling relationship with a cooperative you need to make the woman earn you.
I partially agree. However, men are not competing for fat, obese, ugly, or old women but rather an attractive one who is in her 20s and is in good shape and doesn’t have any kids. The pool of these women is small. Say roughly, 10% of overall adult female population.
I'm obese on the BMI but I've just worked out for years. I actually have a bunch of male friends like this (possibly self selection from gym and wrestling). The whole BMI thing doesn't work as good for men.
I would like to add that a basic self-improvement skill and one that will stand out to women is surrounding yourself with quality male friends. I really got serious about this a year and a half ago and it has dramatically improved my motivation, mood, fitness and confidence with women. You feed off the masculinity of other men and it enhances your own. We’re made for community brothers.
Best man on line yet. 100% correct we can’t all be multi millionaires or be born 6 feet plus. Yes we can improve and it’s no excuse to lazy. Thanks for sharing
Just imposing yourself some discipline in your everyday life is a game changer. Having a plannning, doing some chores everyday, working out 3 to 5 times a week. Just that makes you better than most. Once you have that bit of discipline, adding more things on top of it is easy. You become aware of how much time you usually waste on a daily basis simply because your life is not organized whatsoever. There will even be times when you will ask yourself "what am I gonna do now" because you will have a lot of free time even after hanging up with friends and family. Then you add other things to improve. Meditation, mental work, learn different skills or languages, hobbies. The gain in self-confidence will be tremendous. Better body, better brain and better confidence will attract people and reinforce your values.
Agree, but by the same token there's not much to choose from now in the female department. I live in a small American city of 110,000 and I can go months without setting eyes on an attractive woman above high school age.
I don't think the attractiveness is the issue. It's not that hard finding attractive women at least physically; but the number of women who are appealing beyond their looks is increasingly getting smaller each year.
No offense, but are you sure you're not gay lol? There are plenty of very physically attractive women everywhere, but it's their values, beliefs, and attitudes that are ugly.
Take aways - at least don’t be fat. - put effort into dress and grooming - build social skills with your male and female colleagues. Doing these things will at least put most guys in the top 20%, which is well your way.
The competition is weak, but the pickings are slim. 99% of the attractive girls on dating apps aren't there to meet someone (why would they be?)and the ones in real life are in committed relationships (why wouldn't they be?) There are plenty of "big" and "homely" girls to choose from though! They'll give anyone a chance. Have fun out there
At what age does this become true? Cause my resume meets all of these… dress well enough, make ok money for my age, have status, 5’-9”, not overweight, decent but not amazing social skills, and I have never experience ‘true desire’ from a woman.
In the west ? Never, unless you're a top 5% guy. Sadly, your height discounts you, as it does me as well. When does it become true if you go overseas ? Any age, and that's regardless of height.
Location is a factor. I’m 18 months in TX and it’s painfully difficult compared to SoCal. I am approaching constantly here and the responses are not friendly or flirty. It’s gross. They have no game here.
It would be really great if you made a video targeted towards students at University. A lot of the topics you talk about here apply there anyway, and I am not sure what experiences you've had with college, but as a student, I would love to see some of your insight used to advise the rising generation of men who don't have careers or professions yet.
College is a perfect place to build confidence and gain experience. Thousands of women around, usually tons of parties on the weekends. College men are usually idiots, so it should be very easy to stand out from the competition. Aside from trying to get women, your number one focus needs to be setting yourself up for a good career that will make you money. Do everything you can to take advantage the school’s resources to prepare you for a job and connect you with future employers. The resources are there and few take advantage.
You’re right man…. Just based on the body game and knowing how to dress I become a 8 or 9 because everyone else in any room I walk into is out of shape.
i find it a good thing that there is not a lot competition it makes the game very boring and predictable. So most good looking men are playing on easy mode. So more power to the top guys take all the women . You deserve them.
