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Did anyone else hear the sirens going off in their heads when David talked about his fiancée getting angry at him for various reasons, calling him a stalker when he expressed concerns about her breaking his reasonable boundaries? David, my man....RUN. Run away and never look back.
I heard the sirens going off after 1 minute already and after 3 minutes I had heard enough and stopped the video. These two characters are both abnormal.
She is NOT a great person, don’t delude yourself. You are trauma bonded to her. A good person would not actively deceive you, maintaining a relationship with someone behind your back
She might not be a “good person” And funny enough he’s with her. So what would that say about the other player in the game? Yes he obviously seems to be self aware. He seems to be working on his issues. He seems to desire a better and healthier relationship. Yet here he is with her. So if she’s a piece of work, he has his issues just the same Far too many people get caught up thinking there’s the “good” person and the “bad person@. When in reality these relationships contain two damaged and wounded people who BOTH need to work on Themselves if they ever want a healthy relationship. It’s minimizing the other player and turning them into a “victim role” which is far from the truth. Codependency comes with blaming. Shaming. Control. Anger. Threats. Which isn’t any healthier. Ask me how I know ( I was as codependent as they came ) and when we drop the mask of focusing on the other then there is room to improve ourselves. Yet any codependency trap. Let’s talk about everyone else then the man who is the one trying to get help. It’s pointless to focus on her. This is about HIM. HIS needs. HIS wants. HIS rights. HIS expectations. HIS boundaries. How does this even have anything to do with her?
This is the problem with empathy. Those of us with it must guard ourselves intently. If we don't we'll give our souls away to someone who doesn't deserve it - in the slightest. Run, Forrest, run.
When he said she was friends with the guy because "CPTSD people choose emotionally unavailable people" it made me 🤔 he is the one chasing after an emotionally unavailable person.
Exactly. That leapt out at me, too! I don't believe the letter writer had such a wonderful childhood. It sounds like he's dealing with some form of PTSD and is also anxiously attached and/or codependent. I feel like he needs to get out of this relationship pronto and into working on healing himself
I have trauma from my past, but I don’t abuse people. I’m not emotionally stable as I have cptsd & ptsd. I’m in therapy & working towards regulation & healthy thinking. Her behavior is not healthy or ok. Please leave her. She’s not healthy enough right now for marriage, let alone raising children. I don’t hate her, but you justifying her bad behavior isn’t going to help her or you. 🙏🏼❤️🩹
I know what you mean but when you are in a relationship and you get stressed for whatever reason the past traumas can transform into abusive behavior whether you like it or not. In relationships you get to know yourself. Relationships heal but they also reveal conflicts from within.
@@chocolatecookie8571 I understand that. I’m married & my husband & I have had many conversations about my behavior. I have a hard time controlling my emotions. But I’m working on it & not blaming it on him, my kids, or my past. She doesn’t seem to be working on it & also seems to be doing a lot of projecting. As I said I don’t hate her. But he’s not in a good place by justifying her behavior nor is she by cheating on him while accusing him of cheating on her. Neither is ready for marriage & God forbid they bring children into this mess. They both have a lot of work to do. Him with boundaries & respecting himself & her with the abusive behavior & refusing to take accountability for her actions.
I don't abuse people either what I'm trying to figure out is I'm trying to control the other person or am I setting healthy boundaries for myself which is the right thing to do
I hope you reply to this but im confused abt my relationship and wheither i should stay with my girlfriend or not....because she recently had told me that she would choose someone she denied 4 years ago....and when I asked her if they ever would come back for her would she choose them and she said yes. She once said hurtful things to see how would I react to it because she believes I'm hiding myself, we talked abt it and stuff. Then after sometime I'd jokingly bring it up like " you better not do that again or I'll turn into a dinosaur" she said "I can't make promises" and that hit me..she's insensitive sometimes or I'm sensitive..she'd tell me that I'm annoying but it seems like it's not serious. So I ignore it. I feel sometimes when I feel close to her emotionally it gets ruined...she brings up something that hurts this closeness I feel...I sometimes I feel like universe doesn't want me to be close to her because something happens that makes me feel further away from her always, I noticed. She had bad caregivers who treated her like a maid she's a very cautious and awake she'd tell me abt her old self and stuff being untrusting cuz of past betrayals...she'd tell me she'd dream abt these caregivers and it would make her feel uneasy. Idk man idk, what to do hope you help me with that.
I've been single now for 2 and 1/2 years and I've never been happier. The first year was pretty rough after my narcissist died of brain cancer. As you can probably imagine because now I was alone with no idea of who I was. I'm still trying to figure out what I like.
The female needs to stop dating and actually heal. It's not other people's duty to tiptoe around our triggers. And by giving one a lot of time to understand so then they can explore the triggers and then they won't be as bad later on. For the person writing this letter it doesn't matter what you do or don't do an unhealed person will find a problem with everything. Definitely recommend taking a step back and then asking yourself what in you might needs to be healed due to letting so many things that disrespect you come up.
Greetings from Mr Axel Vasa the west coast wizard himself, I got something essential to share with you, The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself. Love you very much❤️
“It is not other people’s duty to tiptoe around our triggers” I love this! I often struggle with being easily offended/sensitive and I really need to work on this!
You will constantly be in a loop where you’ll never be good enough. They will “move the goalpost” on everything. Now I keep hearing about we need healing because we’re putting up with the disrespect. Can the case not be that we may be somewhat naive or giving that person a few chances? I don’t want to disregard a good person for a few flaws that shows up early. In my case the serious flaws showed up 1-2 years later. How to filter fast? Too much red flag detection can cloud the green flags.
Awesome person doesn't always make a great partner. I've met so many really great intelligent people in my life, but most of them were emotionally unavailable. It was always a pain to get through to them. And I am glad that I just let them be. They're good to hang out with, to chat, to be friends, but that's about it. I am heavily traumatized person myself, but the healing process helped me see other kind of people - those who can actually be good partners. They usually seem to be pretty boring and predictable from the outside. But that was just my trauma talking. Trauma demands excitement and extraordinary. A truly healed and healthy person wishes for true connection, warmth and stability.
Zero chance the other guy's wife knows she is still around. No wife on the planet would tolerate a former mistress remaining "friends" with their spouse. Absolutely none.
I had trauma and I know the difference between right and wrong. She basically doesn’t love you. She wants the older guy but you’re her status quo guy to keep until she can find someone else similar to that older man.
Sounds like David is trying to make it into something it's not. All I kept thinking throughout the reading was "leave her alone". For his sake, as well as hers. Just because someone is a "good person" doesn't mean they are a good fit for you, or relationship material in general.
Greetings from Mr Axel Vasa the west coast wizard himself, I got something essential to share with you, Self-care is how you take your power back. Love you very much❤️
12:33 "She is not going to change because it hurts you"...or something that hurts you..."and this is not someone to marry." Thank you. The last person I was seeing...we have known each other for years and made okay friends, but something occurred when we got involved that showed me this very thing, and I ended it straight away. It may be that I could have done so more gracefully, yet I had to process to get here, as it brought up a lot. From the outside looking in, and my old self, can beat beat me up saying it is fear of commitment or what-have-you. But bottom line, while she was expressing several demands of me, she was doing this that hurt me and refused to look at it or own it at all. Actually, she deemed it good. And that simply was not going to work for me. I deserve better than that. Also, she was rushing, wanting to say we were in a relationship when I was in the wanting to date and get to know more personally and evaluate phase, and she was already talking marriage just a few weeks in. Big, big flags for me. Awesome person does not mean awesome mate match.
Don't get married, run, and don't look back! Find someone who doesn't have other guys on the side and who doesn't treat you like garbage, no matter what the reason is. She either is or is going to cheat on you and doesn't think that it's a problem.
If they get married... I give the marriage about 6 months then a ugly divorce with permanent emotional and financial damage will occur.. IMO I would't even give her the time of day,let alone any type of friendship!!
My ex was not abusive but he put his interests above me. I didn't get in the way of him and I never told him not to pursue his goals or made him stop to spend time with me but it didn't feel like I was a priority. To him, spending $400+ on shop equipment was no huge deal but he felt like doing something special for me on my own birthday was a burden for him. I believe that his trauma from family and ex's telling him not to do something or not letting him have time to himself caused him to believe that he had to be selfish to do what he wanted. I always treated him nicely and supported him but I didn't feel like I got the same level of support or appreciation back.
Incapacity for reciprocity isn’t necessarily abuse, but it is neglect. The cycle of being with someone who neglects is draining and can destroy self-confidence. Your pain is valid.
She is taking him for granted, as she sussed him out being too in love, or maybe desperate (sorry, not wanting to hurt, but this could be a reason why he's not able to let go). Any guy who is self-confident and emotionally fit would not stay. He is more like trying to justify all her mistakes so he can find a reason not to leave. I bet subconsciously he knows it's not going to work, but he might need to find out why he is putting up with all that.........
Counterpoint: trauma is not the excuse OR even explanation because some people, despite being hurt, turn out to be kind people who want to prevent others from hurting like that. And there are some Cluster B persons who actually had an easy life of being indulged as a child but a genetic predisposition for selfishness.
Wholeheartedly agree. Trauma is never an excuse. My sister became a narcissist, not because she was abused, but because she was an indulged golden child. Meanwhile, as the scapegoat, I WAS both neglected and abused, yet I can't imagine hurting others as I was hurt. My suffering imparted greater empathy to me, not less, for the suffering of others.
This is completely incorrect and there are no “genetic predispositions to selfishness.” Please try not to share your half-baked opinions as authoritative fact.
@@princesinha1680trauma is not an “excuse,” it’s a *reason.* There are nuances to the whole thing and why some hurt people go on to hurt others, and others don’t. Those who don’t have had a “helping witness” as a child or “enlightened witness” as an adult who shows them genuine love and understanding at least once in their life, so they even know such an experience exists. Some people never actually experience that and automatically fall into repeating what they experienced on others. Alice Miller writes about how this all works, there is a science to it.
Agree with you. Also, what's tricky for anyone, is distinguishing: - are they being controlling/isolating me? - or are they setting a sensible boundary? And: - am I changing my behaviour because they said it hurts them, or I realise they're sensitive about xyz? - or am I people pleasing, because that's my training/mindset, and because I desperately want this relationship to work? - or am I refusing to change because I'm selfish - or refusing to change because I'm insecure and need to feel in control and not expected to 'submit' So far, how I've handled this so far, is: - communicating what I feel, - explaining why I THINK, I'm doing what I want/choosing/choosing not to change my behaviour to suit someone, - asking about their side, what are the reasons for their request/discomfort - remembering to check if they're feeling similar issues So far it's all good, but early days.
Sounds like you hit the nail on the head, Anna She’s very codependent and very emotionally codependent on this relationship with this married man. She is stuck in a fantasy illusion. She is definitely not a safe person and she is definitely emotionally unavailable . I would advise this man to set the boundary and leave the relationship if she was still carrying this relationship around. I am so glad I trust myself now and I don’t question if I’m being controlling on boundary violations that I was not aware of for myself and how to stop revictimization myself because someone else was not there for me . Beautiful beautiful thank you Anna .
Greetings from Mr Axel Vasa the west coast wizard himself, I got something essential to share with you, The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself. Love you very much❤️
Your videos have been life changing for me. I grew up neglected and in a very violent home. I left that home a long time ago and built a new life for myself, but I have always struggled to leave my painful childhood behind - sometimes I think I purposely hold onto it, like it has been my only constant companion in life. I have never formed any human connections, friends or family. I want to wave my childhood goodbye and discover who I am or should be but I feel like sometimes I cling onto the pain because it is the only thing that defines me. How do I let go?
Its hard...I wake up with it everyday, it's a part of me. I been in therapy for years and I still wake up everyday in mental pain.😢...I try to take one day at a time and keep your distance from people that have false intentions.
@@EricaManley-v8i Greetings from Mr Axel Vasa the west coast wizard himself, I got something essential to share with you, Self-care is how you take your power back. Love you very much❤️
If you haven't already, you may want to try Anna's free course ‘The Daily Practice’. It is the technique that led to Anna’s own healing, and she uses it to this day. Here’s a link if you’re interested: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice -Calista@TeamFairy
Dear Fairy, Is it possible to also read letters from people who are healing and really trying to have a better life? I feel we are under represented in the letters you choose. When you read those letters, the red flags are now so obvious to me! 😅 I would love to see you read letters from people who are consciouly trying to do the right things. You know, we still have challenges and insecurities 😉 Thanx in advance ❤
Pretty horrible how she says she finds you scary, that’s the potential sign of someone who is abusive and will do something to cause you to react then call the cops or tell people you are abusive.
If you happen to see this, I am so proud of you and everything you did for your relationship. You are showing a lot of strength, commitment and love to your partner. I am saddened to hear that she is still stuck in her trauma mindset and is not able to reciprocate at this point. I am not going to say the "You deserve someone better" cliche - I just hope you manage to take care of yourself during those trying times and enforce your boundaries. Your thoughts and feelings are valid and your date's actions wouldn't be okay/accepted by pretty much anyone. Stay safe & loved!
The man should not have to grow his hair long for her. If the man wants to grow his hair long, fine but not be obligated to. The woman is not owning her triggers.
Oh dear. That is not a "father figure" it comes across like a secret affair - and, David, you may have a bit of trauma from being cheated on but having a boundary around this is absolutely appropriate. I do not think marriage to her would be good for you. It sounds like you are doing all the "changing" and accomodating for her bad behavior that *she* needs to do the work on. Not you. *"Fixing"* yourself will not fix her issues. There is no excuse for this sneaky-like behavior. As Anna said it "I have trauma and I don't do that." Hugs and love sent your way and her way. She sounds like she needs love too. But it would be best (I think) to put a hold on marriage here. ❤
All of these videos are things two young women in my life I very much care about, (my stepdaughter and her friend, both in their mid 30s), should be heeding and NEVER, EVER will. It's depressing.
David, I am a lady but had the same problem of trying to make a mean person into a good person because I loved him. Please dont waste years like I did.
If she is not to get the help she needs,IMO he is wasting his time... As the old saying goes" You cam lead a horse to water,but you cannot make him or her drink.."..
Mattenl,I spent 34 years with someone that had similar issues. I knew she had issues. I seen her parents abuse her. She was a great woman bit I made her excuses as you are now. She is spot on. Most things can be improved and worked out but both has to be 100% committed to thier 50% of the relationship. I gave up my power by making excuses for my ex. That dont help. She is or is not. Simply as that. Id run.
If you're in a relationship and thinking about marriage, then listen carefully to the following. Marriage will not fix any of the problems that are currently occurring in your relationship. Look very carefully at your relationship. Are there things that are not good about it? Believe it, those things will continue to be a problem once you are married. Moreover, once you are married, people tend to relax a little and stop being on their best behaviour, so any problems can get worse. A marriage should be a celebration of a relationship where you are both committed to supporting each other and working to eliminate problems between you - it isn't something that will *create* a relationship where you are both committed to supporting each other and working to eliminate problems between you. Get trust first, and I mean trust based on a significant amount of evidence, that the other person is going to be on your side. Once you have that trust that the two of you can handle anything life throws at you, *then* get married, and then continue to grow in love and strength together. If you can't achieve that level of trust, don't get married. Believe me, if you do get married and discover a few years later that it really isn't going to work out, it is hell sorting it all out.
David, she’s just not into you the way you’re into her. Leave now because it’s only going to go downhill if you marry her. She’ll definitely cheat on you down the line. Stop being a doormat.
She is emotionally unavailable. Ironically enough she will be physically available for plenty of guys over the years. You can't fix her and you cannot force her to heal herself. The more you push the farther she will pull away. And if you pull away she will take that as a cue to leave or cheat.
@@lilithowl Emotionally, she is like a skipping stone. Popping from one to the next without ever getting too deep. Skipping stones must keep moving too. In the letter she is clearly trying to keep her options open with the married guy she was with earlier, or just so pathologically lonely she will cuddle up with anyone that gives her attention.
This woman is also weaponizing her trauma against the writer to avoid basic responsibility and problem solving in the relationship, “you have a boundary? You remind me of my father!” It seems odd to us who are doing so much work to heal but there are those who simply are not interested in healing and making better choices.
Oh my friend you deserve so much better I have terrible trauma but never cheated none of my partners, neither my current sounds like she is doing stonewalling and silent treatment to punish you for stepping up and setting your boundaries, seems like she is doing it to either make you break up and be the bad guy or to get you to accept her disrespect.
My girlfriend of a year and a half told me yesterday that she doesn't want to be selfless. Her trauma wounds are destroying the relationship. She also won't cook or clean and holds out on sex. I cook and clean and go out of my way to show her love in several different ways. I asked her after she (without talking to me about it) moved in if she could please help with the cooking and cleaning. She did the most half assed attempt at cleaning and then she got home at 2 and cooked up some of my steaks and ate them so i got home to a house smelling like cooked steaks and there was no food for me. I was pissed.
A covert narcissist is unlikely to change. Don’t make the mistake so many people have made by trying to stick it out. It will just result in years lost. Sorry to have to say it, but it’s time to move on.
This sounds like a classic situation of a relatively secure healthy person having been drawn into a relationship with a covert narcissist. I'm so sorry to say this, as I know the word gets flung around as blame now in pop culture at the moment, but in this case I think it's really important that a spade is called a spade. This poor man could spend his life being sucked in justifying every little complex thing of hers and get totally sucked into each and every one of her stories and games and totally lose touch with himself.. because most humans have kindness and prefer to see the best in everyone and give people endless chances. This IS a very healthy instinct with someone else who is healthy with the usual amount of human flaws. But this person doesn't sound like they are capable of responding to the usual amount of kindness or reciprocity, that makes a marriage, because I don't think she has the self awareness and self responsibility to be in a healthy reciprocal journey with someone. Honestly every single scenario screams that she has had a personality injury to the extent that she might never be able to function normally. I'm sorry to say this, because I know on this Chanel we have hope, but the thing is with narcissistic people, they are actually irreversibly damaged in the structure of their personalities, so it would take a lifetime of commitment, like an alcoholic to function usually needs to be fully and totally committed to daily practice of recovery, as in, regular therapy, consistent support groups, an hour or two a day of personal accountability practice, and the daily things of health like exercise and good food that cause stability in someones physical biology that affect mood. And first and foremost she would have to recognise that she's the problem. What she has done is manipulated him into trauma bonding with her. There is a lot of information about this by credible, university trained and qualified academics and therapists, and it's really important he understands how this type of emotional abuse works. It will only get worse if he marries her. She has laid the foundation of gaslighting him, set up a framework, to distort everything good, to bind him to her, through manipulating his natural good intentions, and it's quite a process to break free. Please, call a spade a spade. It's so important he knows he's not stuck with this, that the excitement is the trauma bond not true love. I strongly strongly recommend this guy looks up Dr Ramani s work on this, she also has a RU-vid channel, and describes all the little ways good people get sucked into every single loop hole of a narcissist world. It's sad but true, I agree with Anna, this is the time to take a step back from being engaged. It's ok to break off engagements. That's the time where you seriously look at the intention of being together and if it's seriously realistically compatible. This is the rest of your life your talking about. Take that seriously. I made this mistake and have lost the chance to have a family because of the time wasted with someone who ultimately was damaged to the core and couldn't be suitable and I regret it every day. They exploited all my good intentions and good grace. I don't want that to happen to anyone else. This guy sounds like a good man. There are good women in the world who would be a suitable partner, and he doesnt need to feel guilty for letting go of someone exciting but ultimately unhealthy for him. Narcs have a way of flattering, justifying, excusing, and keeping you relentlessly in their talons. It's not worth it. There is no good outcome possible with a narcissist. Sending this man lots of love and care, there is a whole wide world out there, please cast your net wider to find someone safe who can truly love you and be at peace ❤
Also, it's inevitable having trust issues after being betrayed in a previous partnership. It's not a personal flaw, having hurt feelings, and needing reliable boundaries after an experience like that. I don't want to see this young man internalise his girlfriends blame, and projection, that anything to do with this is just "his issues". That's deflection. That's not loving or respectful. Every relationship needs protecting. Even polyamourous relationships have agreements and limits. There is no excuse for minimising a person's hurts, being unwilling to work around them, or creatively find solutions that work for both parties. That's just not team work. Marriage is a team work situation.
David needs to see it for what it is, not for what he wishes it to be. That hurts, but spending your precious time hoping for change, that may never come, does too... Never did I really hear that she wanted to be in a relationship with him. Hope I don't sound harsh, but apart from accepting the engagement and going to couples therapy, I just heard very little.
Greetings from Mr Axel Vasa the west coast wizard himself, I got something essential to share with you, The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself. Love you very much❤️
She’ll never truly connect with you David, she’s fully attracted to the married guy. You’re only in the picture because a very small part of her knows she can’t truly be with him. Run.
Hold on, she cheated? And you didn't leave her? 4:45 so she's depressed she does have her married boyfriend. This is toxic. You want a woman like her, but she doesn't want you! Women who want a man do NOT cheat on the man.
Yes it is true in some way....i am a trauma bond and my partner is a trauma bond....i have anxious attachment, and my husband is avoidant attachment ... if you decide to read about your trauma implement it...work on it....and both partners do it it works....we have been together 17 years,and i would not say that there are no problems, but we are working through them,always look at ,yourself first....❤
And also you shoud never say he/she doesnt do that, he/she does that yada yada....look at yourself first and foremost...it is egotistical to accuse your partner....you heal yourself...and then everything else comes in place....
It also helps to find children... or they find you as happens with me who have the same trauma bond as you and try to help them.....and do aomething good with your experience....
This relationship is a nightmare. It needs to end. It doesn’t matter that she has a great job, etc., you are doing all the work. She’s still into the other guy and is using this guy for emotional stability. Time to move on.
He destroys her hapiness to the level that she feels depressed by demanding to cut contact with someone she obviously mentally needs. He is selfish. I do not like that. He does not love her. Because if he would love her, then he would want that she is happy.
almost damn near gave me PTSD hearing about all that.. i had the same thing with a young lady, set my boundaries in a big way one day and boom.. silent treatment for almost a week and then that was it for me. dont play nice guy saviour in these situations guys. it doesnt get better. sorry to sound negative also but i find when their father is an asshole they find a way to make you the asshole. cause its all they know in men. correct me if im wrong
When the girlfriend tells her story, it should contain something like......... My boyfriend stuffed up my sugar daddy AND left me. (But then theres danger of getting haunted by a thought form later down in life)
Buddy, if you feel the need to write a letter about your relationship, then it's not what you think it is. You aren't where you think you are. In fact, you're in a place of potential danger. Subconsciously, you already know this. Getting into these situations is always easy. Getting yourself out without being skinned alive is the tough part. Especially since you've already let her move in. 💀 She can change the locks while you're at work and get a court order barring you from the property, pending a hearing, then trash the house and steal or sell all your stuff. So, don't trigger her. Tell her you need some time alone to prepare for marriage and process your feelings. Help her move. Send her change of address to the post office. Be as nice and helpful as possible. Your hubris of thinking you can fix her is going to be your downfall. YOU CAN'T.
They don't owe each other sex or anything. They're not married. If he's not going to get married to her he doesn't have the right to ask for anything. They both need couples therapy.
I think it would be interesting to do an interview style therapy session with you. I’m not fond of most therapy. Have a decent lady now for a short period and she remind me a lot of you, she watches you also. As a creator myself I am aware of the implications and find it intriguing to be able to be able to both watch back the session and read viewer feedback 🤔
It’s not a red flag!!! It’s reject button. Sure, 90% is great, woman of your dreams, this could be the one. Ah, but that last 10%, (harsh reality), makes her inappropriate. Hanging with her will end in disaster. Picture crossing the Atlantic in a boat that has an engine that runs perfectly 99% of the time, would you still do it? That engine has to be good for the long haul, and so does your GF. Her banging another guy? Her feelings are split, and you don’t want that. The other guy is married, and it’s human nature, people want what they can’t have. So, no question, that’s part of her attraction to him. If she was really into you, there would be no contest. Loyalty is big, duh!
So many people wield their trauma or mental issue as a cudgel to bash people’s heads in without thinking at all about the other person. My own mother tries to do this to me when I’m lamenting shit unrelated to her and she makes it all about herself 6:56 as a man, if her friends and family are on your side, she’s past redemption.
This lady needs to take responsibility for her own healing. Otherwise, this relationship does not have a chance. I can also say from my own experience that the gentleman is in need of healing if he is tolerating this.
I respectively disagree with Anna on this one. I've been in very similar situations. This girl is riddled with red flags, and unfortunately, I think this kind of situation can only lead to a lot of heart break. RUN
Please go back to your original format where you would read the letter without much comment, then go back and read the whole thing again with your input.
Hello Anna and thanks for the instructive videos. In your opinion and experience, are scapegoat soulmates actually other scapegoats? I mean as friends and spouses. Thanks in advance.
no, ex is an ex and if shekeeps them around itmeans they are the backup for when you twohave even the slightest of disagreement, she will often create fakeproblem tomake an excuse to run back to her ex who is now so called ''just a friend'' guys NEVER fall for this bs because once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater.
Can you please do a video on chronic under earning? and fear of success/responsibility? I have a job+degree but I dont know why I am unable to believe I could ever be fianancially independent.
You may find these videos helpful: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-vyTIxD9Lshk.html ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-iDVx9RPp_1s.html ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-BmQJEWyFquw.html -Calista@TeamFairy
David on the other hand has a lot of work to do on himself. The fact that he feels attracted to a woma who cheats and is dishonest says a lot about David to me. He talks about the " lots-of-things-they-have-in-common" well thats what hobby groups are for. You meet up with people who share your likes and preferences by meeting a couple of times a month. A good relationship is build upon principles and values like honesty and sacrifice etc. So I'd ask David why do you settle for people who dont have any of that?
Hey, you have been a great help to me. I never realized I ve suffered from literature experiences most of my life. I m 68 now. Guess there scstill hope. You know, you can say what you want about childhood. What parent knows how to properly raise a child in all aspects? I would say very few. Even though I experience that depression from time to time, I still wouldn't trade the experiences I ve had. I m probably best to stay single with my loving dog by my side. But maybe if I listen to what you have to say, there may be a chance I could find and share with someone. Thank you
Poor lad...even the purpose of his letter to you is getting through to her as she is following you, Fairy...This man is head over heals with that woman. I do not want to be judgmental or mean, but I'm 100% sure that he will marry her and it's not gonna end well.
Wow poor guy. I’ve been in an almost exact situation. This woman is gaslighting you. You need to leave. I’m a woman and always think it’s only men that are the cheaters, but stories like this make me realize both sexes can be evil. I wish I could find a guy in real life who has been through this type of situation. I feel like it might make a relationship easier.
Plus if you think that it's only men that are the cheaters you seriously need to step out whatever bubble you are in and step into the real world. I would even say that women are more bound to cheat than men nowadays.
I get forgiveness and softness but very few people change. Unfortunately, 70%+ of people won't change over a short period (like less than 70% of the time)! And I wouldn't be surprised if it's like 80%! I would forgive the woman but never talk to her ever again! She's definitely not in her best self!
She is ready for something more. Don't give up on her. Don't sleep with her. Show her what love and intimacy mean, and that she can trust you. I love a distant woman, I don't need to sleep with her, I can't fix her. All I can do is love her. If she wants love and intimacy, she has to take the steps to me. I won't abandon her, and I won't use her pain against her, I truly love the woman inside. She has to understand that she is precious to me. If I owned the universe and could trade it to make her happy, I would do it in a second. She is a treasure. She is life itself in physical form. Be patient, my friends, and build love. Everything else is easy. I love her, miss her, and wish her well.
You haven't said how she feels about you, whether she wants or loves you. This sounds like codependence and self-abandonment. What she'll really respect and find attractive is you having rock solid boundaries and self-respect. You've chosen her but she has to choose you too, and that is actually a separate issue from her trauma. Otherwise it's not an equal relationship, it sounds like you're putting her on a pedestal. But it's your call.
