The purpose of the Heart of Dating Podcast is to unmask the ever so ambiguous world of dating as a Christian. Dating is not explicitly discussed in the Bible, simply because at that time, dating did not exist! While there are resources spread out across the years, there are not many centralized areas where Christians can access dating advice, help, and guidance easily and in a fashion that is accessible.
The ultimate hope is that the Heart of Dating Podcast will start a healthy conversation for men and women and provide wise input and direction as we answer some tough questions and uncover some transformative ways to develop a healthy attitude and approach to dating as a Christian.
Saying “I’m a Christian who struggles with (fill in the blank)” is vastly different than saying “I’m a (fill in the blank) Christian”. You guys are really twisting language to make this work. I’m halfway in and haven’t heard a single reference to the Bible, which should be our our guide in these matters. Watched through and on such a hot topic, you quoted the Webster dictionary and referenced feelings, but failed to reference the ultimate authority, the Bible. Jj said something like another Christian’s holiness and walk with Jesus is their business. That isn’t what I read in Matthew. I read that we are to take care of our own issues, but we are also to hold one another accountable. Agreed that being “gay” or “same-sex attracted” isn’t a sin in and of itself, until there is list or action, but why would we identify ourselves as our sin, like a badge of honor?!! Remember: “Matthew 7:3-5 New International Version 3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
What if, you meet a girl at a conference, you hit it off. I get her number, tell her I’m into her.. she has a positive response, I end up spending some time with her dropping her off at the airport, our conversations are super solid in person. Then we start texting a bit, then later couple months the road she ends up moving into town, my flesh totally thought that was a God thing 😂… then I ask her out and she friendzones ya boy 😅😅😂 I still like this girl and I see her all the time at church. I don’t want to be pushy if she’s not into me but it seemed like she was and maybe felt like I was too direct… because I was pretty direct 😂 What would you do in this situation!?
JJ was onto something a bit after 12 minute mark. We don’t identify as “drunk Christian” or “angry Christian”.. or I’d add “wife-beating Christian”, or “thief / liar Christian”. You get the point. Our identify should be in Christ, to hear anyone identify themselves as their sexual preference (or any sin) + Christian is odd. The entire lgbtqia2s+ faster-than-ever-growing movement is a tool of the devil to keep people separated from God. It really is the only sun I can think of that is so widely celebrated and that a person actually proudly identifies themself by. That’s the power it has over people is they have allowed it to become their identity. Look even closer at the slippery slope of the lgbt community and movement, where we are today, encouraging and allowing kids as young as 7/8 to choose their genders and to mutilate them in the name of this new identity, and in that change a direct denial of the way God created then. We have an identity crisis in this world, ruled by a spirit of confusion and hyper-sexuality.
Wow, as someone who has been listening for well over a year on Apple Podcasts, I never realized how small the Chanel was, keep up the good work, if if the numbers aren’t crazy, the impact is still there
Thank you Ryan for your transparency. I'm turning 30 later this year and I'm single. I called my dad yesterday and told him I was having a hard time with vacation planning because I don't want to go anywhere alone, and I ended up crying because i didn't realize how hard it would be to plan things as a single person. I live alone, so going on vacation by myself just seems so boring. One thing I learned from this podcast is to reach out to friends early and share my thoughts and future hopes for hanging out and planning vacations in advance so that life doesn't get away from me. Right now I'm thinking of going on a Missions Trip in October so that I'm still with people but travelling at the same time. I hope to face the challenges of being single and learn from them as you have! Thanks again :)
It seems that when the church focuses on hetero people and hetero values, hetero men and women flourish while non hetero people get de-valued and punished. When the church focuses on non hetero people and non hetero values, non hetero people flourish while hetero men leave the church, and hetero women replace men with religion and career. Something has to change. Something has to allow for both hetero and non hetero people to flourish. If not, other religions will take over, and that will be the fall of the u.s.
To me it's completely mystifying why anybody with the least self-respect would want to be part of a church like that. The fact that some (not all) Christians struggle with not judging despite obvious advice from their bible "do not judge lest you be judged" etc, etc, blah, blah, blah is absolutely extraordinary to me as practicing Hindu in a legacy christian country! Furthermore and even more to the point is the fact that a great many Christian denominations following the LIBERAL CHRISTIAN TRADITION ALREADY PERFORM SAME SEX MARRIAGE AND SO IT'S OK PROBABLY A HELL OF A LOT EASIER FOR THOSE GAY CHRISTIANS, etc to join those Christian communities from the get go and bypass the rest and just NOT get involved in THEIR DRAMAS and THEIR STRUGGLES! Go where you're best treated! By contrast in the Vedic/Sanatana Dharma/Hindu tradition their is absolutely no prohibition against Gay relationships and USA Mandirs (Hindu Temples) perform same sex marriage ceremonies and very much encourage full acceptance of sexual minorities. Not all Mandirs in all parts of the world take the same view and so sexual minorities may well be faced with having to look elsewhere if their needs are not accommodated more locally. It will be interesting to see how Mandirs in THAILAND respond to the new Same Sex Marriage laws coming into effect there this October 2024!
Some thoughts: "Right" doesn't mean perfect. Being called to a job doesn't mean the job is perfect. Being called to live in a specific city doesn't mean it's a perfect experience. Marrying the "right" one is much more about kingdom focus and values, and not "do they make me feel the best?" Because I do think there are a lot of wrong people to choose - but I would say they're wrong because they're an unwise choice - immature, no spiritual fruit, mismatched values, unsaved, drug use, violent - you get it. I think there are right people because we meet and realize "wow, we're on fire for the same things of God and we both spur each other on in our gifts for the kingdom and we're so much closer to God than we are by ourselves".
Howdy JJ & Kait! Longtime fan here - I've listened to the entire episode, and understand where ya'll are coming from... and I think the title of the episode is very "click-baitey" and unwise. Even if it is a bit of a stretch, I can kind of understand using the term "gay" in an evangelical sense to reach that community; but I totally disagree with using that adjective in general to describe Christians struggling with same-sex attraction. As ya'll mentioned in the podcast, the word "gay" is such a loaded term - and (due to the cultural build up of it) the majority of people on earth view it as synonymous with unashamed (and thus unrepentant) homosexual activity; I don't think there is a way to divorce the word from that meaning. As such, I don't believe it is wise to use that word to describe members of the church as it can be viewed as enabling or encouraging that type of sin. As Christians we are called to be DIFFERENT from the culture around us (being transformed by the renewal of our minds,) NOT to submit to a broken-world's culture. I honestly think that should also extend to the celibate same-sex attracted Christians. Again, if "gay" is used in an evangelical sense to break-into that culture with the aim of spreading the gospel... MAYBE I could understand it; but aside from that I completely disagree with that word as a general descriptor (and especially how ya'll have portrayed it in today's episode title.)
Good points. Self-denial v self-fulfillment is hard to wrestle with. I def have unicorn standards that I need to drop. Like so many things, easier said than done.
The question should be, can you be a married Christian that has sex with your spouse. Because both Jesus and Paul encourage celibacy. If you are going to hate people who are dating or marrying the same gender and hiding behind the Bible to justify your hatred, then I hope that you are unmarried and practicing celibacy as the Bible says. And I hope you are a woman’s who does not braid her hair or wear jewelry and covers her head. And many more biblical commands that Christian’s ignore and choose to instead weaponize to hurt innocent people. Disgusting.
We’re all sinners. Some struggle with anger, others w/ sex outside of marriage, and others w/ same sex attraction. Having the desire to sin is true for ALL Christians. But accepting the sin and living in it without any remorse and repentance is a sign that something is wrong.
This is beyond accepting, it’s the only sin that is widely celebrated and e encouraged on such a public level. And the only one whose ultimate goal is to involve and Indoctrinate people into at younger and younger ages. It makes people believe that their identity lies primarily in their sexual preference(s) or gender feeling, all used as a weapon to separate them from God.
Only question I have is, what does the Scriptures say? If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation…why then should identify with the old identity? Is the blood of Jesus not strong to cleanse us from all sin? Did He lose His power?
Hi JJ and Kait, may the Lord bless you both from Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic! Thanks for sharing this episode. I really love and respect this kind of community but I disagree with their lifestyle.
Why you only bring him to the podcast, there are plenty of other men who struggle with same attraction they don't identify themselves as “Gay Christians”. Could you please have another perspective on this issue?
I would not call myself a "gay Christian" because it sounds like id be condoning sin. We are called to throw off our sin nature and put on our new self Colassians 4:10
I once had the pleasure of coming to a youth conference and seeing Becket Cook (a formerly homosexual Hollywood worker turned Christian) speak there. One thing he said that stuck with me after all this time was that he was still attracted to men, and (I believe) he mentioned that it was a burden he would bear for the rest of his life.
Wait a second, so not naming it sin but naming it something else brings you closer to Jesus, since when does labeling a sin and sinful life style or a sinful sickness differently that what it is will get you closer to Jesus? We all need to come to Jesus, be born again and repent. Choosing to be gay is not an addiction like pornography or drugs or smoking .... Yes you can be gay and come to church or read the bible but that does not make you a christian just churchy, what's next we gonna have demonic christians, pedofile christians, poligamic christians, fornicating christians, adulterous christians... none of these are in the Bible, and neither is gay christians so lets not add to the Bible unless we want God to add to us His wrath... Yes in the end gay people wether active or not(Jesus said if you think lustfully it's the same as doing it so gay thoughts equals gay sex, the only difference is the sin in the body is more severe but you still sinned just from a distance) need Jesus, need repenting, need counceling, need healing and love and they need to be born again and give those sinful thoughts to God and figure out why they have them since God did not make them this way and also find out what is triggering them since again God did not make us to be triggered by same sex... either trauma or lack or love or rejection or some mental illness that needs fixing, yes with love. May God help us all in our weaknesses, falling short, struggles, and all the areas which we have yet to surrender to God and be healed from!🙏🤗 PS: labels don't bring you close to Jesus, loving God, loving people, living what you read from the Bible and being obedient does.
Exactly my thoughts. What will be next!? Pedophilia christians? Drunk christians? Adulterous christians? Murderous christians!?? There is alot of deception in this episode and we need to call out the spirits behind the sin and not be friends with the demonic. We do it ALL in love. Lets be sanctified and be HOLY and pure and blameless before our perfect Father ❤️
At the end of the day, I agree that someone who is "gay" should not be discriminated against or left out (Romans 3:23) but I do not agree with adding an identifier because it feels more like someone is settling in their sin which the bible speaks against (Romans 6:1-2). Another thing is sin is not so much a legalistic thing as what we physically do, but also about our heart posture. So just because someone stays celibate, it is important that they also keep their hearts and minds clean like the example Jesus gives on lust (Matthew 5:28). I understand the need to not want to hurt people and turn them away from the church but the truth is that hurt is something all Christians face on all the sins we struggle with. The hurt we feel is conviction to turn away from sin (John 16:8). Love is not accepting and allowing someone to live in sin. Love sometimes means offending another person by telling them the truth. On the topic of sexual immorality in the church it is well talked about in 1 Corinthians 5:1-13. For those struggling with the sin of same-sex or gay attraction, the bible encourages us that not temptation can't overcome us and we are all struggling with sin but we know that Christ has come to free us.
I agree with this comment 100%. I had a hard time with this episode as it comes across as let’s leave this person in their sin. Let’s keep them comfy basically.
@@jjtomlinHello and blessings from Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic! I really think I disagree about a gay man being a Christian because it's not according God's will!
This can’t be right. If you go out with different ones that are not your type and still don’t want to move forward after many dates, I’d say it’s time to go out with ones that are your type… I’ve been the one setting my standards lower and doing many dates. At the end it makes you bitter and resent dating at all. Doesn’t mean you don’t need to check your preferences are realistic.
Smart women who value their time, themselves, and the other person - have no problem with a coffee date because it's casual, low-pressure for both, and the focus is on talking and getting to know one another not on an activity.
I went through a breakup with my fiance of 4.5 years, 11 years ago; I struggled with the grief and developed complex PTSD, which then turned into shame. I've been single ever since but finding Christ about 1.5 years into my grief, truly truly saved my life
"God are you going to ask me to give up my dream of having kids" Sweetheart God didn't do this to you. God doesn't sprinkle fairy dust on us and magically orchestrate our romantic life. He gives us free will and we make choices. When a woman has chosen to not marry/have kids and it's now too late....she needs to take personal responsibility/accountability. Unfortunately accountability is all too often kryptonite to a woman.
I hate this goofy (generally evangelical protestant) belief that God is up in heaven playing puppet master to our personal romantic lives. We all have free will. Most people who are not severely deformed/handicapped could find a spouse anytime they wanted to. Simply have reasonable enough standards for physical/status/economic attractiveness. If you're an otherwise normal healthy human who is single at 39 it's because you've wanted to be.
JJ - Could totally use your match making skills lol. I had/still have the "it's exhausting" response to dating in general. My job is so busy and I'm exhausted at the end of the day. I don't get how to rally after a long day and be energized for a date and then have the same surface level type conversations so many times 🙈 Jayme, I'd love to hear more in depth about your transition from the negative to the positive outlook on dating! Thank you to all three of you!
